race and racisms

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The Racial Healing Handbook

My Earliest Memories of Race and Racism

Racial Healing Practice

My Earliest Memories of Race and Racism

Think back to the earliest time you realized you had a racial identity. It’s okay if you don’t remem- ber all the exact details. Describe as much as you can about that experience

here.

What did this experience teach you to think about your own race? Write about those thoughts

here.

Thinking about this earliest time you realized you had a racial identity, write about the feelings you have as you remember this experience here.

Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Identifying What I Needed to Know About My Race Growing Up

Racial Healing Practice
Identifying What I Needed to Know About My Race Growing Up

Reflect on your earliest memories of your own race and racism. List the things you needed to know to understand race and racism in a more complete way.

How would knowing these things have changed your earliest memories of race and racism?

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Knowing the Twists and Turns of My Racial Identity Development

Racial Healing Practice
Knowing the Twists and Turns of My Racial Identity Development

Take a quick look back at the racial identity development model, and respond to the following prompts. It’s okay if you don’t have answers for each of the prompts.

Does the racial identity development model mirror your racial development? Which parts of it match your experience? Which do not?

Describe how your life was before you realized race and racism existed.

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook Knowing the Twists and Turns of My Racial Identity Development

Describe the first time you saw racism happening (this may be similar to your response in the first Racial Healing Practice in this chapter). Were you the target of the racism, did you enact the racism, or did you witness the racism? Include a description of your thoughts and feelings at the time.

If you are White, describe a time when you felt you were “color blind”—when you tried not to “see” race. If you are a person of color, write about how you coped with realizing that racism was a real thing that you needed to think about a lot. Include a description of your thoughts and feelings at the time.

If you are a person of color, how have people, places, and institutions influenced you in the immer- sion and emersion schemas? As a White person, how have people, places, and institutions influ- enced you in the resistance, retreat, and emergence schemas?

The Racial Healing Handbook Knowing the Twists and Turns of My Racial Identity Development

If you are a person of color, was there ever a time when you wanted to spend time with your own racial group as a source of empowerment and understanding? If so, write about it. If you are White, describe a time when you started to explore the privileges that came with being White. Include a description of your thoughts and feelings at the time.

Has there been a time when you sought to intentionally build a diverse racial community in your life and felt positively about your racial identity? Include a description of your thoughts and feel- ings at the time.

Are there other periods of your racial identity development that don’t really fit into the racial iden- tity development model—or that seem important to write down to give a fuller picture of how you came to know yourself as a racial being?

The Racial Healing Handbook

What Is My Racial Identity Now?

Racial Healing Practice
What Is My Racial Identity Now?

Glance back again at the racial identity development model and respond to the following prompts. Where would you place yourself in the racial identity development model right now?

Do you need to move into a more positive sense of your racial identity development? If so, what support, experiences, learning, understanding, and so on would you need to do this? Keep in mind that if you’re in integrative awareness a good deal of the time, there may still be events, experi- ences, places, and people you experience that pull you into a different part of the racial identity model.

Describe a recent situation that might have drawn you into an earlier schema of your racial identity development.

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The Racial Healing Handbook

What Is My Cycle of Racial Socialization?

Racial Healing Practice
What Is My Cycle of Racial Socialization?

Respond to the following prompts to explore your stages of racial socialization. It’s okay if you don’t know a lot about your early socialization. In those cases, write about your best guesses of what those racial scripts were.

The Beginning—When you are born, racial scripts have already been laid out in the world, and those who raise you carry them out. Write about the racial scripts the people who raised you were operating on.

First Socialization—Loved ones and others you are around teach you the typically unwritten and unspoken rules about racial scripts. Racial scripts can also be delivered explicitly through verbal messages about your race or other races. Even the absence of exposure to other races serves as a message. Write about the expectations and norms of racial scripts you were taught.

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The Racial Healing Handbook What Is My Cycle of Racial Socialization?

Institutional and Cultural Socialization—Moving outside the circle of people who raised you, you learn about racial scripts from schools, places of worship, health care systems, government systems, and other settings. And you learn racial scripts from your culture, such as the media and culture-specific practices within your cultural group. Write about the conscious and unconscious messages you learned from your racial scripts.

Enforcements—You receive rewards for playing along with your racial scripts and punishments for stepping outside of them. Write about how your racial scripts were revised and reinforced through racial privilege, stigma, discrimination, and/or oppression.

The Racial Healing Handbook What Is My Cycle of Racial Socialization?

Results—You are part of the overall system of racism and experience dehumanization. That dehu- manization may look like silence, guilt, anger, self-hatred, and even violence or other patterns of disempowerment. What have you experienced as a result of racism and dehumanization? Write about that here.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Resocializing My Racial Self

Racial Healing Practice
Resocializing My Racial Self

In this healing practice, you will go back through the racial socialization model and identify the messages you needed to hear to have a more holistic, truthful, and helpful racial socialization.

The Beginning—Write about the world you needed to see, when you were born, in your neighbor- hood, community, family, and close personal networks regarding race and racism.

First Socialization—Write about what you needed parents, families, loved ones, teachers, and others to teach you about how race works in the world, your place in the system, and how you should play out your racial role in larger society.

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
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The Racial Healing Handbook Resocializing My Racial Self

Institutional and Cultural Socialization—Write about the messages you needed to hear from the cultures and institutions around you to move beyond the societal racial scripts assigned to your racial identity.

Enforcements—Write about the positive reinforcements you needed from your personal and other networks (e.g., school, work) to be able to comfortably inhabit your racial identity; to identify ongoing racial discrimination, stigma, and prejudice; and to develop a more helpful range of racial coping strategies.

The Racial Healing Handbook Resocializing My Racial Self

Results—Write about the results there could have been if you had experienced a more holistic, helpful, and truthful racial socialization. Include messages you needed to receive to hold on to your humanity and be a part of eradicating racism and healing from it.

Identify three main messages you learned from your earlier racial socialization that you would like to change right now. For instance, Jenna might write down that she learned racism was some- thing that “good people” avoid—and ignore—when in reality, it’s something that all of us, “good” or “bad,” are socialized in, capable of, and obligated to challenge. Ajei might write down that she learned her race was something she could affirm and embrace only in certain environments, not something she should be able to inhabit and take pride in anywhere. Write your early racial social- ization messages here. Use the additional lines if you want to write more than three.

1.
2.
3.
The Racial Healing Handbook Resocializing My Racial Self

Next, identify three ways you can shift these earlier racial socialization messages; basically, identify ways you can take a stand, reframe racial stereotypes and belief patterns, reeducate your- self, and interrupt racial socialization and patterns in your thinking, feelings, and behaviors. Ajei might write how she can interrupt and correct any internalized negative messages about being Navaho so that she can embrace being Navaho in different environments. Jenna might write about how she began to use White privilege to take a stand against racism and how she could reframe the subtle and overt racist messages she received from her White family and homogenous school environment about race.

Write the new messages you’d like to put into practice here. Again, there are a few extra lines in case you feel that you are on a roll right now and want to identify more.

1.
2.
3.

The Racial Healing Handbook

What Did I Learn About the History of Racism?

Racial Healing Practice
What Did I Learn About the History of Racism?

In this healing practice, you will explore how much you were taught about racism and what you learned. Remember, don’t think too hard—just write the first things that come to mind.

When did you first hear the word “racism”? Who said the word? Where were you? Write anything else you remember about that time.

What did you learn in your family about the history of racism? If you didn’t learn about racism in your family, write how you feel about that here.

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook What Did I Learn About the History of Racism?

What did you learn in your schools about the history of racism? If you didn’t learn about racism in school, write how you feel about it here.

Were there other places where you learned about the history of racism? If not, write how you feel about not learning about racism in other places.

The Racial Healing Handbook

My Own History Lesson Plan for the History of Racism

Racial Healing Practice
My Own History Lesson Plan for the History of Racism

In the section above, you learned about just four of the many roots of racism in the US: (1) racist ideas were developed by racist people, (2) colonization is a practice of racism, (3) immigrants were compelled to assimilate and become “White” to avoid discrimination, and (4) immigrants were often labeled “foreign” or a “threat.” Write about the thoughts, emotions, and questions that are coming up for you about these.

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook My Own History Lesson Plan for the History of Racism

Next, rate yourself on the degree of knowledge you have about the history of racism for the various racial groups below. Use this rating scale:

1 = I know a lot. 2 = I know some things. 3 = I know very little.

Alaska Natives/First Nations/Indigenous

People

s/Native Americans

Asian/Pacific Islander Americans

Black/African Americans

Latinx/o/a/@/Hispanic Americans

Middle Eastern Americans

White/European Americans Then, respond to the prompts below:

Which groups did you rate most highly with a 1? What do you know and how did you come to learn so much about the historical roots of racism for these groups?

Which groups did you rate the least highly with a 3? What might be some next steps for you to take to learn more about the historical roots of racism for these groups?

The Racial Healing Handbook My Own History Lesson Plan for the History of Racism

Were there any groups you rated 2? If yes, how can you increase your knowledge of these groups to a 1?

How did you rate your own racial group? What are the knowledge gaps you can address?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Cultural and Social Norms of Grief

Racial Healing Practice
Cultural and Social Norms of Grief

Think about a recent loss in your life—it can be a death of a person or some other type of loss, such as a friendship ending, a divorce, losing your home or job, or even a natural disaster. Write about that experience below.

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The Racial Healing Handbook Cultural and Social Norms of Grief

Use the following scale to rate the statements below in relation to the level to which you learned, culturally and socially, to accept such a response to an instance of grief and loss like the one you just wrote. By acceptance level, I am not referring to you being “okay” with the grief and loss, but rather to the degree to which it was acceptable or “okay” in your culture and social groups to express grief and loss in the way a particular statement indicates. Then, you will explore how these ratings translate to the particular cultural and social norms of grief and loss you learned growing up.

Very Accepted

Somewhat Accepted

Not Accepted

When I experienced this grief or loss, it was acceptable for me:

to cry or feel depressed

to express anger

to say I was scared

to say I was confused

to say I was in pain

to grieve loudly and with lots of accompanying emotions

to be around lots of people

to take time off of school, work, or other obligations

to take time for myself and be away from people

to ask for help from a family member or friend

to ask for help or see a counselor

to express concern about what was going to happen next

to struggle with what to do next

The Racial Healing Handbook Cultural and Social Norms of Grief

When you think about this incident of grief or loss and reflect on how you rated the above state- ments, what do you realize about the cultural and social norms you grew up with when it comes to grief?

We will explore this more in a moment, but first quickly answer this question: What is your inkling about how your cultural and social norms may shape the grief and loss that accompanies instances and systems of racism you encounter?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Applying the Five Stages of Grief to My Experiences with Racism

Racial Healing Practice
Applying the Five Stages of Grief to My Experiences with Racism

Think about an experience with racism you have had recently. For White folks, think about a time you enacted racism or witnessed racism. For people of color, think about what it was like for you to experience a racist incident or internalize racist stereotypes about your race. Once you have that incident in your mind, write about it here:

Next, you have the opportunity to identify the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that typically come up for you in that stage and related cultural and social norms that are important to acknowl- edge. You will also be able to identify what you needed in these instances in terms of support and connection to enable you to heal from this racism instead of continuing in an uninterrupted cycle of grief:

Denial—What did this stage look like for this incident? What were the accompanying feelings, thoughts, and behaviors?

Feelings:

Thoughts:

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The Racial Healing Handbook Applying the Five Stages of Grief to My Experiences with Racism

Behaviors:

Cultural and social norms in this stage:

What support I needed to challenge my own racism or internalized racism when I was in the stage of denial:

Anger—What did this stage look like for this incident? What were the accompanying feelings, thoughts, and behaviors?

Feelings:

Thoughts:

Behaviors:

Cultural and social norms in this stage:

What support I needed to challenge my own racism or internalized racism when I was in the stage of anger:

The Racial Healing Handbook Applying the Five Stages of Grief to My Experiences with Racism

Bargaining—What did this stage look like for this incident? What were the accompanying feelings, thoughts, and behaviors?

Feelings:

Thoughts:

Behaviors:

Cultural and social norms in this stage:

What support I needed to challenge my own racism or internalized racism when I was in the stage of bargaining:

Depression—What did this stage look like for this incident? What were the accompanying feelings, thoughts, and behaviors?

Feelings:

Thoughts:

Behaviors:

Cultural and social norms in this stage:

The Racial Healing Handbook Applying the Five Stages of Grief to My Experiences with Racism

What support I needed to challenge my own racism or internalized racism when I was in the stage of depression:

Acceptance—What did this stage look like for this incident? What were the accompanying feel- ings, thoughts, and behaviors?

Feelings:

Thoughts:

Behaviors:

Cultural and social norms in this stage:

What support I needed to challenge my own racism or internalized racism when I was in the stage of acceptance:

The Racial Healing Handbook

Grieving the Role I Have Within the System of Racism

Racial Healing Practice
Grieving the Role I Have Within the System of Racism

How do you really feel about the role you have within the racial hierarchy? What have been the impacts of this on your life in terms of grief and loss? Respond to the questions below to increase your awareness about this grief and loss.

When you think about your role within racism as a person of color or White person, what feelings come up for you?

How are the feelings you listed above related to the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)?

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook Grieving the Role I Have Within the System of Racism

Which stage of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) is easier for you to experi- ence in relation to your role within racism, and why?

Which stage of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) is tougher for you to experience in relation to your role within racism, and why?

Overall, what have you learned about yourself and your general reactions in the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) that can help you on your racial healing journey?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Raising My Consciousness Through

Education

and People

Racial Healing Practice
Raising My Consciousness Through Education and People

In this Racial Healing Practice, write a P for past and an N for now, to note the ways you have raised your race-consciousness in the past, and can do more of right now, in the two categories of edu- cation and people (if this is tough to identify, that’s okay; give it your best shot). There are a few blank spaces where you can add your own ideas within these two buckets.

Education

Books

Movies

Documentaries

Social media

Libraries

Workshops

Conferences

Podcasts

TED Talks

Music

People

Keynote speakers

Author book signings

Book clubs

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The Racial Healing Handbook Raising My Consciousness Through Education and People

Street activists

Community leaders

Politicians

Educators

Religious/spiritual leaders

What are three steps you have taken with education in the past to raise your race-consciousness?

What are three next steps you can take with education right now to raise your race-consciousness? 1.

What are three steps you have taken with people in the past to raise your race-consciousness?

What are three next steps you can take with people right now to raise your race-consciousness? 1.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Becoming an Antiracist

Racial Healing Practice
Becoming an Antiracist

Explore how Okun’s six components, plus the seventh step I added—(rest)ore— might fit together to help you develop a more realized antiracist identity. Write about where you think you are for each component—what your strengths might be and where you might need to grow.

1. Read and educate yourself on the effects, impacts, and other structures of racism.

My strengths:

Areas needing growth:

2. Reflect on what this education means for you as someone developing an antiracist identity.

My strengths:

Areas needing growth:

3. Remember how you participate in the thoughts, beliefs, and actions that internalize and uphold racism.

My strengths:

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The Racial Healing Handbook Becoming an Antiracist

Areas needing growth:

4. Take risks to challenge racism when you see it or realize when you are participating in it.

My strengths:

Areas needing growth:

5. Rejection is a part of being an antiracist. If you are White and are rejected, hearing the anger that people of color have about racism, you don’t take it personally; you allow people of color to have and express that anger. If you are a person of color, you are comfortable with your anger, which helps establish and strengthen the boundaries you have against racism. In both racial groups, you continue to stay in the fight against racism.

My strengths:

Areas needing growth:

6. Relationship building is a part of what you do along the way—with White folks and people of color who are somewhere on their journey from nonracist to antiracist.

My strengths:

The Racial Healing Handbook Becoming an Antiracist

Areas needing growth:

7. (Rest)ore for the next steps in your antiracist identity.

My strengths:

Areas needing growth:

The Racial Healing Handbook

Becoming an Antiracist in the “Real World”

Racial Healing Practice
Becoming an Antiracist in the “Real World”

Think of a time you heard someone in your life—in your family or at work or school—say some- thing racist or that reflected internalized racism. Once you have that incident in mind, write your response to the following:

Did you respond to this person? Why or why not?

What emotions came up for you during this event? What did you notice about your body? Did your body tense up or freeze? Did you feel tightness or some other sensation in your back, shoul- ders, pit of your belly, or somewhere else?

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
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The Racial Healing Handbook Becoming an Antiracist in the “Real World”

Did you share your feelings with the person? What would you say to this person if you did share your feelings?

Next, apply a few of the following sentence stems to what you might have said to this person in this interaction to practice a bit.

Express curiosity: Tell me more about

Offer an alternate perspective: Have you ever considered

Share your disagreement: I don’t see it the way you do. I see it as

. Seek an area of agreement: We don’t agree on , but can we agree on

Ask to continue the conversation at a later time: Could we revisit this conversation about

tomorrow?

Set a boundary: Please do not say again to me or around me.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Racial Healing Practice
Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Racial microaggressions have very personal effects. For people of color, they can stimulate feel- ings of self-doubt and internalized racism. For White people, committing a microaggression is harmful to people of color, and it ultimately serves as a barrier in your relationship with them because of the distrust it creates. So it’s important to take an honest look at microaggressions you commit and/or experience. Respond to the following questions to explore more of your personal experiences of racial microaggressions.

Think back to a time when you heard or committed a racial microaggression—something that would qualify as an indignity for a person of color. Write it here, and then identify the theme and embedded message.

Racial microaggression theme: Racial microaggression message:

What were your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors during this racial microaggression—in the moments you were experiencing it?

What I thought:

What I felt:

What I did:

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The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

For White readers: What motivated you to act as you did?

What were your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors after this racial microaggression?

What I thought:

What I felt:

What I did:

For readers of color: What were the effects of the experience? What message did it convey to you about yourself or other people? How long did it continue to affect your emotions and experiences?

The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Now that you have explored a personal experience of committing a racial microaggression (as a White person) or experiencing a racial microaggression (as a person of color), take a moment to explore which of Sue and colleagues’ (2007) nine racial microaggression categories you commit or experience most frequently. Rank the list below from 1 (most frequent) to 9 (least frequent).

Alien in own land

Ascriptions of intelligence

Color blindness

Criminality/assumptions of criminal status

Denial of individual racism

Myth of meritocracy

Pathologizing cultural values/communication styles

Second-class citizen

Environmental microaggressions

The Racial Healing Handbook

Delving Deeper Into Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Racial Healing Practice
Delving Deeper Into Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Revisit the top three racial microaggressions on your list in the last Racial Healing Practice, “Explor- ing Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions,” and reflect a little more deeply on these experiences. For the racial microaggression you ranked #1 in frequency of committing or experi- encing, identify the internal dialogue and external dialogue that can help you respond in a more helpful way.

Your #1 ranked racial microaggression category:

What statement in this category do you most often hear?

What is your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

What is your typical external dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial microaggression so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or further commit microaggressions or allow others to commit them with no response (as a White person)?

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
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The Racial Healing Handbook Delving Deeper Into Personal Experiences of Racial Microaggressions

Your #2 ranked racial microaggression category:

What statement in this category do you most often hear?

What is your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

What is your typical external dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

Your #3 ranked racial microaggression category:

What statement in this category do you most often hear?

What is your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

What is your typical external dialogue in response to this racial microaggression?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Macroaggressions

Racial Healing Practice
Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Macroaggressions

Think about the following examples of macroaggressions, write about some of your internal and external dialogue, and then consider what a response might be. Write the first things that come to your mind.

Racial Profiling and Stereotyping

You hear someone at your school, university, or work say, “Mexican families don’t really care about education. Their families are usually uneducated.”

What would be your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial profiling and stereotyping?

What would be your typical external dialogue in response to this racial profiling and stereotyping?

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this racial profiling and ste- reotyping so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or allow others to commit these acts with no response (as a White person)?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Macroaggressions

Racial Harassment—Verbal Violence

You are at a gas station and go in to pay for your gas. You hear a White person say to the Indian American cashier, “Why do you Indians own all the convenience stores?”

What would be your typical internal dialogue in response to this verbal racial harassment?

What would be your typical external dialogue in response to this verbal racial harassment?

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this verbal racial harassment so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or allow others to commit these acts with no response (as a White person)?

Racial Harassment—Physical Violence

You see a White person physically push a Latinx person to the ground, yelling, “Go home, illegal.” What would be your typical internal dialogue in response to this physical racial harassment?

The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Macroaggressions

What would be your typical external dialogue in response to this physical racial harassment?

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this physical racial harassment so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or allow others to commit these acts with no response (as a White person)?

Racial Harassment—Sexual Violence

You watch a YouTube video about the history of Native American tribes pre-colonization, which included sexual assault as a colonization tactic. You read the comments, and one said, “Native Americans were too weak to protect their women from rape. They died out anyways.”

What would be your typical internal dialogue in response to this sexual racial harassment?

What would be your typical external dialogue in response to this sexual racial harassment?

The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring Personal Experiences of Racial Macroaggressions

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this sexual racial harassment so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or allow others to commit these acts with no response (as a White person)?

Racial Harassment—Spiritual Violence

You are walking down the street, and you hear someone say to a Muslim woman with a hijab, “I don’t know why you women put up with men making you cover your hair.”

What would be your typical internal dialogue in response to this spiritual racial harassment?

What would be your typical external dialogue in response to this spiritual racial harassment?

How could you refine your typical internal dialogue in response to this spiritual racial harassment so you don’t further internalize racism (as a person of color) or allow others to commit these acts with no response (as a White person)?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Reflecting on My Friendships over My Lifetime

Racial Healing Practice
Reflecting on My Friendships over My Lifetime

Friendship is a powerful thing; we can have friends who are like family to us, and friends who are more like acquaintances. Also, your personality can influence your development of friendships. You may have mostly had one friend you were really close to or a lot of friends you were besties with, depending on whether you are an introvert or extrovert. For this practice, respond to each question with the first significant (however you define that) friendship that comes to mind.

Who was your first friend? Was their race different from or similar to yours? How did you come to be friends with them?

Who has been your best friend in your life thus far? Is their race different from or similar to yours? How did you come to be friends with them?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Reflecting on My Friendships over My Lifetime

Who has been your closest friend whose race is different from yours? (If this overlaps with the previous questions, select a different friend.) What has it been like to be in an interracial friendship with them?

When you think about your friendships growing up, did your friends mostly share your same race? What was that like?

When you think about your friendships now, do your friends mostly share your same race? What is that like for you?

When you think of the racial patterns you have in friendships throughout your life, what are the top three patterns you would like to shift?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Race, Dating, and Intimate Relationships

Racial Healing Practice
Race, Dating, and Intimate Relationships

Take a moment to consider your history with attraction, dating, and intimate relationships and answer the questions below.

Growing up, what messages or stereotypes did you learn (from family, friends, schools, media) about dating and intimate relationships when it came to your race and the race of others?

Who was the first person to whom you remember being attracted? Was their race different from or similar to yours?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Race, Dating, and Intimate Relationships

Over the course of your dating and intimate relationships, have you tended to date within your own race or outside of your race? Why do you think that is?

If you are White, how has your racial privilege shown up in your dating and intimate relationships (e.g., were you aware of or oblivious to your race and others)? If you are a person of color, what types of messages have you internalized about who you can and can’t date or be in relationships with?

When you think of the racial patterns you have had in dating and intimate relationships, what are the top three patterns you would like to shift?

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Exploring How I Think about Race in Schools and Work

Racial Healing Practice
Exploring How I Think about Race in Schools and Work

Dive in to the prompts below to identify how race has influenced your professional relationships at school and work.

Looking back at the schools you attended, what were the main messages you learned about your own race and the race of others?

In the schools you attended, did you hang out with folks within your own racial group, or did you interact with a diverse racial group?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring How I Think about Race in Schools and Work

Reflecting on your early work experiences, what were the racial groups you worked with the most? What was that like for you?

Across your work history, which racial groups have you never worked with, or only rarely worked with?

The Racial Healing Handbook Exploring How I Think about Race in Schools and Work

What racial stereotypes do you see at work? How do you respond (or not respond) to these racial stereotypes?

What racial conflicts have you seen or experienced at work? How do you respond (or not respond) to these racial conflicts?

When you think of the racial patterns you experienced at school and work, what are the top three patterns you would like to shift?

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Effective Messaging Strategies for Conversations About Race

Racial Healing Practice
Effective Messaging Strategies for Conversations About Race

Think about the last conversation you had about race that didn’t go so well. Write about that con- versation a little here (e.g., topic, person, strategies you used, how you felt):

Now, you have a chance for a “do-over”! How could you use effective messaging techniques with this situation to keep you more focused and grounded?

Know your audience—What kind of approach was needed with this particular person(s)?

Be respectful—How might you have demonstrated more respect?

Find common ground—Was there an area of actual or potential agreement?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Effective Messaging Strategies for Conversations About Race

When applicable, share a personal experience—What might you have shared?

Be mindful of language—Was there language you could have used differently?

Develop a primary message and supporting messages—Write these below.

Reframe the conversation—Did the person you spoke to take the conversation in a different direc- tion? How could you have come back to your primary message?

Consider opposition framing—What research could you have done to anticipate the other side?

Practice and prepare—Who are your trusted folks and communities you could have practiced with?

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Making Decisions About Race Differently

Racial Healing Practice
Making Decisions About Race Differently

In the previous Racial Healing Practices in this chapter, you ended each one identifying three pat- terns you wanted to shift. Take a look back over your answers and then complete the following:

What are the common racial patterns you noticed across your responses in this chapter? In other words, what are your racial comfort zones?

What are three next steps you could take right away to begin expanding the racial diversity of your personal and professional networks? (If you live or work in a racially homogenous place, think about how you can move beyond these homogenous communities or find diverse communities online.)

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Taking a Pulse of My Multiple Identities

Racial Healing Practice
Taking a Pulse of My Multiple Identities

Have two different color pens, markers, or highlighters available. Below you’ll find a table of social identities, systems of oppression, and related privilege and oppression identities that could inter- sect with your race, either in an additive fashion (contributing to the privilege your racial identity affords you or to the oppression that people with your racial identity encounter) or by serving as a buffer for a racial identity you might otherwise face more oppression for. For each row in the table, do the following:

· Use one color to circle the privilege status that applies to you.

· Use a different color to circle the oppression status that applies to you.

Social Identities, Privilege, and Oppression Outside of Race

Social Identity/System of Oppression

Privilege Status

Oppression Status

Race

White

Person of Color

Disability/Ableism

Able-bodied

Physical Disability, Cognitive Disability, Mental Health Disability

Gender/Sexism

Men, Cisgender

Women, Trans, Nonbinary, Genderqueer

Sexual Orientation

Heterosexual

LGBQ+, Polyamorous, Asexual, Aromantic

Religion

Christian

Muslim, Eastern, Pagan, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, etc.

Social Class

Middle Class, Upper Class

Working Class, Poor

Age

Young Adults, Middle-Aged Adults

Children, Adolescents, Older Adults

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The Racial Healing Handbook (Dis)ability + Race

Racial Healing Practice

(Dis)ability + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your (dis)ability intersects with your race.

How do you think others perceive your (dis)ability intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the (dis)ability of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to reduce ableism—either as a White person by using your racial privilege or as a person of color by using your own and others’ experiences of racism—what experiences, knowl- edge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your (dis)ability intersecting with your race?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Gender + Race

Racial Healing Practice

Gender + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your gender intersects with your race.

How do you think others perceive your gender intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the gender of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to use your racial privilege as a White person to reduce racism or as you work as a person of color to reduce racism you experience in the world around you, what experiences, knowledge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your gender intersecting with your race?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Sexual Orientation + Race

Racial Healing Practice

Sexual Orientation + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your sexual orientation intersects with your race.

How do you think others perceive your sexual orientation intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the sexual orientation of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to reduce heterosexism—either as a White person by using your racial privilege or as a person of color by using your own and others’ experiences of racism—what experiences, knowl- edge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your sexual orientation intersect- ing with your race?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Religious Identity + Race

Racial Healing Practice

Religious Identity + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your religious identity intersects with your race.

How do you think others perceive your religious identity intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the religious identity of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to reduce religious privilege—either as a White person by using your racial privilege or as a person of color by using your own and others’ experiences of racism—what experiences, knowledge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your religious identity intersecting with your race?

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Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook Social Class + Race

Racial Healing Practice

Social Class + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your social class intersects with your race.

How do you think others perceive your social class intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the social class of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to reduce classism—either as a White person by using your racial privilege or as a person of color by using your own and others’ experiences of racism—what experiences, knowl- edge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your social class intersecting with your race?

© 2019 Anneliese Singh / New Harbinger Publications.
Permission is granted to the reader to reproduce this form for personal use.

The Racial Healing Handbook Age + Race

Racial Healing Practice

Age + Race = My Intersecting Identities of Privilege and Oppression

Write a little about how you think your age identity intersects with your race. Note your privilege and oppression identities related to adultism and ageism.

How do you think others perceive your age intersecting with your race?

How do you think you perceive the age of others intersecting with their race?

As you work to reduce adultism and ageism—either as a White person by using your racial privi- lege or as a person of color by using your own and others’ experiences of racism—what experi- ences, knowledge, or understandings do you need to keep in mind in terms of your age intersect- ing with your race?

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The Racial Healing Handbook

My Most Important Identity Intersections with My Race

Racial Healing Practice
My Most Important Identity Intersections with My Race

What are the three most important identities to you other than your race? Write those here. Refer to the earlier table in this chapter if you need a quick refresher.

How do these three identities influence how you feel about your race?

How do these three identities multiply your privilege or buffer your oppression?

How can you value these three identities further and be more aware and conscious about them on your healing from racism journey?

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Becoming a Racial Ally

Racial Healing Practice
Becoming a Racial Ally

Whether being a racial ally is a new idea to you or whether it’s something you have been doing for a while, it’s helpful to reflect on what it means to you personally to be a racial ally. Remember that whether you are White or a person of color, you can be a racial ally to your own race and to others outside of your race.

Write about three times you have been a racial ally in the past. 1.

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The Racial Healing Handbook Becoming a Racial Ally

Write about three opportunities you have right now to be a racial ally (e.g., at work or school, with your family or friends, in your community).

Write about three times it has been tough to be a racial ally. If you can’t think of three times you’ve practiced allyship, think about three reasons you might be apprehensive about being a racial ally in the future.

The Racial Healing Handbook

Applying the Dos of Racial Allyship

Racial Healing Practice
Applying the Dos of Racial Allyship

Whether you are White and identifying ways to use your privilege more effectively to challenge injustice or whether you are a person of color looking to ally more with your fellow people of color and communities of color, being a racial ally requires ongoing awareness and practice. Respond to the following questions to identify how to grow your awareness of the practice of racial allyship.

What are three ways that you can educate yourself about racism in an ongoing manner? 1.

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The Racial Healing Handbook Applying the Dos of Racial Allyship

What are three ways you can become a good listener as a racial ally? 1.

What are three ways you can connect with other racial allies as a White person or person of color? 1.

3.
The Racial Healing Handbook Applying the Dos of Racial Allyship

What are three instances in the past when, as a racial ally, you could have apologized when you got it “wrong” (and not over-apologized to the point the person felt they needed to take care of you)?

What are three ways you can endeavor to believe the experiences that people of color have? 1.

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Knowing My Comfort, Growth, and Danger Zones as a Racial Ally

Racial Healing Practice
Knowing My Comfort, Growth, and Danger Zones as a Racial Ally

Now that you know a little bit about how being in different zones can shift the effectiveness of your racial allyship, take some time to reflect on how your comfort, growth, and danger zones show up in your own life.

Comfort Zone—Write about a time as a racial ally where you were somewhat effective in your efforts, but you could have been more effective.

Growth Zone—Use the example you just wrote about, and now write about how you might have moved more toward your growth zone in this situation. What are the actions you might have taken if you had a “re-do” of that same situation? How could you have made your racial allyship more effective?

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The Racial Healing Handbook Knowing My Comfort, Growth, and Danger Zones as a Racial Ally

Danger Zone—Again, take the same instance you wrote about in your comfort zone above. What about that situation would push you into your danger zone? Think about the things that might make you shut down, numb out, get defensive, and so on, whether as a White or privileged person or as a disadvantaged person or person of color. What would you need in terms of support from yourself and others to move you out of that danger zone?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Moving from “Ally” to “Accomplice” or “Co-Conspirator”

Racial Healing Practice
Moving from “Ally” to “Accomplice” or “Co-Conspirator”

How might you see your activism moving from “ally” status to “accomplice” or “co-conspirator” status? Take a moment to write about that below:

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My Relationship to Community

Racial Healing Practice
My Relationship to Community

You can be involved in lots of types of communities, from those that have to do with settings you are in (e.g., school, work, neighborhood), which may or may not be of personal value to you, to those that spring from your social identities—race, religion, gender, and so on. Respond to the fol- lowing prompts.

List some communities of which you are a part right now.

How did you develop the communities you listed above?

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The Racial Healing Handbook My Relationship to Community

What are the rewards of being in these communities?

What are the challenges of being in these communities?

How does your race play a role in these communities? Are your communities people of color, White folks, or a mixture of races? Do you think about your race when you are in these communi- ties? Why or why not?

The Racial Healing Handbook

Making the Connection to Community with Racial Healing Strategies

Racial Healing Practice
Making the Connection to Community with Racial Healing Strategies

Identify some possibilities that exist right now for you to participate in racial justice communities in person and online. Most likely, you will need access to a computer while you do this Racial Healing Practice so you can search around to see what exists in your local community and beyond, as well as both online and in-person options for each racial healing strategy.

Know Your Racial Identity (chapter 1)

In-person options: Online options:

Explore Your Internalized Racism (chapter 2)

In-person options: Online options:

(Re)learn the History of Racism (chapter 3)

In-person options: Online options:

Grieve and Name Racism (chapter 4)

In-person options: Online options:

Raise Your Race-Consciousness (chapter 5)

In-person options: Online options:

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The Racial Healing Handbook Making the Connection to Community with Racial Healing Strategies

Catch Yourself in the Flow of Racism (chapter 6)

In-person options: Online options:

Understand Racism in Relationships (chapter 7)

In-person options: Online options:

Reclaim Your Whole Racial Self (chapter 8)

In-person options: Online options:

Be a Racial Ally (chapter 9)

In-person options: Online options:

Looking back at your list above, what are the top three online and in-person communities you could access right now?

Online

In-Person

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Exploring My Role in Racial Justice Change

Racial Healing Practice
Exploring My Role in Racial Justice Change

When you think about participating in a racial justice community related to movement building, which one of the four roles fits you best? Respond to the following prompts to explore this.

Are you more of a helper, advocate, organizer, or rebel? Why is this role a good fit for you?

What specific strengths do you have related to this racial justice role that you could share with a racial justice community? List six of them here.

For the three roles in social justice change that don’t fit you as much, write a little bit about why this is. Might assuming one of these roles push you into your comfort or danger zones?

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My Racial Healing Journey—Growth and Next Steps

Racial Healing Practice
My Racial Healing Journey—Growth and Next Steps

Take a moment to reflect on the ways you are different now from when you started this workbook. What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown?

When you think about your next steps in your racial healing journey, what are the five most imme- diate next steps for you to take to keep increasing your clarity and vision?

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What Does a Racially Just World Look Like to Me?

Racial Healing Practice
What Does a Racially Just World Look Like to Me?

Close your eyes and let yourself envision a racially just world. Dream big, remove any barriers that come up, and write your vision here.

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The Racial Healing Handbook What Does a Racially Just World Look Like to Me?

Below, write what you need to keep in mind as you work toward your vision of a racially just world.