Composition
Show your ability to analyze, correct, and revise the
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Composition #5
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following rough draft
, giving your input on the revision necessary to improve the quality of this essay. You will show successful completion of this deliverable by:
· Providing feedback for corrections/alterations using the Comments feature in Word (Review tab).
· Respond to the six questions at the end of the student rough draft linked above.
· Use complete sentences in all of your responses.
Grading Rubric
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0
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1
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3
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4
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Category
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Not Submitted
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No Pass
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Competence
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Proficiency
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Mastery
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Student’s
Submission Format
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Not Submitted
Student’s Word file is not submitted in APA formatting with cover sheet.
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Student’s Word file and cover sheet in APA formatting contains major errors.
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Student Word file and cover sheet is submitted in APA formatting attempted with minor errors of omission.
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Student’s Word file and cover sheet are submitted for this assignment completely & correctly formatted in APA.
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Student’s evaluation of Author’s use of resources
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Not Submitted
Student fails to note that fewer than five resources were used and/or that they are not from credible academic resources from RAS online library.
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Student notes if five resources used but does not note that some are from dictionary, Wikipedia, commercial sales sites and/or Blogs considered unsuitable, or not current.
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Student notes if five resources are used mostly from current & credible academic databases or eBooks, but fails to note that not all pertain to the essay topic.
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Student notes if all resources are included and if they are from credible, current academic resources as instructed.
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Student offers analysis of the Author’s working thesis for the persuasive essay
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Not Submitted
Question about the thesis is considered, but student’s observations are incorrect or unclear as to discussion of the persuasive topic and reason for writing.
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Student undertakes critique of writer’s working thesis; however, answer does not note lack of clearly persuasive position for the paper and/or discuss a better option.
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Student remarks that working thesis is provided and contains slightly persuasive position; however, omits offering substantive replacement statement for persuasion.
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Student notes that working thesis is shown and then offers revision steps to clearly indicate persuasive position and clarify reason for writing.
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Student offers consideration of the APA formatting of the essay
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Not submitted
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No attempt at identifying errors and re-organizing student’s APA reference list is evident or question answered.
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Student recognizes errors in in-text citations and reference list, but attempt at re-organizing into an APA Reference list contains all resources, but the list is not correctly redone.
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Organization of reference list of resources for the paper is almost complete and in-text citation errors are noted; however, some errors in APA usage are evident.
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An organized effort to correct incorrect in-text citations and references list of resources is completed in correct APA formatting
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Student offers examination of essay’s major supporting details and minor supporting details
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Not submitted
Incomplete consideration of major & minor supporting details for thesis fails to note any re-organization of major or minor supporting details needed for working thesis.
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Student recognizes that major supporting details are incomplete and/or some are not connected to the thesis, but fails to offer possible corrections.
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Student notes that essay contains a few errors of organization and offers some corrections, but not good ideas of revision of supporting details to better support the thesis.
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Student notes errors of support in major details that do not connect to support for the thesis and offers valid corrections.
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Student responds to the Questions
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Not submitted
Questions were overlooked and are not discussed, or sentences and mechanical errors abound. Some questions are not correctly answered with revision in mind.
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Student notes omission of details in most instances, but does not consider all and does not show clearly how to correct this essay. Some grammatical errors evident that are not overly intrusive to meaning of the exercise.
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Student’s discussion noting points of support missing, but does not cover all of them, or shows a very few errors in sentences and question answers that do not seem to obscure the meaning.
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Student notes omission of well written and some inaccurate details and errors included and offers corrections. No grammatical or mechanical errors evident in good variety of sentences that use transitions effectively to discuss the paper & answer questions asked.
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Pervasive Essay 1
Should Not Privatize Prisons
Should Not Privatize Prisons
Rasmussen College
Author Note
Student Anybody
Should Not Privatize Prisons
Prisons should not be privatized because punishing criminal activity should not be a profit business. It is not the place of private prisons to administer punishments. It is the State or government that decides who is a prisoner so they should remain responsible for them until rehabilitated. It is wrong to put a private company that makes a profit off a being in charge of prison operations because their goal is profit not punishment or rehabilitation. Private prisons that cut costs may risk security problems because cutting costs often means cutting corners. I think private prisons are wrong, but .
Prison should not be privatized because the path to profit is to treat human beings badly. Prisons are based on two things custody and care. No one wants to cut corners on the custody aspects of a prison. Care is the only part of a budget that has room to be cut. “One way for-profit prisons to minimize costs is by skimping on provisions, including food. “ A psychiatrist who investigated a privately run prison in Mississippi found that the inmates were severely underfed and looked “almost emaciated.” During their incarceration, prisoners lost anywhere from 10 to 60 pounds.” Citation Steven Starkey
Additionally, there is a financial incentive to do a bad job. The more effective a correctional facility is, the less need of its services. If the inmates have educational, work release programs, medical care such as anger management or mental health while locked up its less likely for them to return to a prison after being released. There will never be a point of not needing prisons; if there is better correctional policies and administration could result in a reduction of need. Privatized prisons are disastrous from the point of view of a profit organization.
Finally, the most important reason Prison should not be privatized is the right to punish belongs only to the state. The criminal justice system is the process by which legally deprive human beings of their guaranteed rights. When someone other than the state tries to deprive someone of these freedoms and rights, charge them with crimes so if it is a privatized prison doing no different than one that committed the crime.
Prisons should not be privatized because punishing criminal activity should not be a “for profit” business. It is not the place of private prisons to administer prisoner punishments because it is the State government that determine who is a prisoner and they should remain responsible for them until time has been served. Private prisons that cut costs may risk security problems because cutting costs often means cutting corners which is less
References
Prisons should not be privatized because . . . n.d retrieved from https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071121104551AAMMYdU
Privatizing prison health care leaves inmates in pain … Friday, Oct. 3, 2014 retrieved from http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/news/news/privatized-prison-health-care-in-florid
Prison privatization: a study of the causes and magnitude … (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.worldcat.org/title/prison-privatization-a-study-of-the-causes-and-mag
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Deliverable 05: Collaboration on the Final Draft of a Persuasive Essay:
Please answer the following short questions as if you are offering feedback and input–in about 25 word answers–to your work colleague as a form of solid feedback about this paper. Your sentences should be complete and answer the prompt in light of what you are reading before you.
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1) I, the reader, feel the topic of this paper is stated quite plainly and a clear position is taken on it because (why or why not?):
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2) Name 2 elements of the writing process you think this author needed to consider more thoroughly in stating his/her position.
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3) Did you find the research element to be covered sufficiently in this persuasive research essay? Why or Why Not?
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4) Consider the sentence structures here. Do they demonstrate the writer’s critical thinking ability in this exercise? Why or Why Not?
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5) List 4 unique errors pertaining to the correct use of APA formatting throughout this paper:
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6) In a brief sentence or two, what would you advise this writer to do to improve the organization of this persuasive essay? Consider introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion, research support, citations, reference list, sentence revisions, and/or voice, audience, and relating to the reader.
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