Human Relations 7

Two questions

Unit VII

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Reading

  • Unit VII Study Guide
  • Chapter 12: Helping Others Develop and Grow
  • Chapter 13: Positive Political Skills

Unit VII Journal

Open

Instructions

As a leader, you are expected to perform and conduct day-to-day business and networking opportunities in the best interest of the organization; however, if proper etiquettes are not followed when interacting with others, it can be costly to the organization. As the leader, evaluate how you would deal with an individual who could possibly jeopardize the strategic platform of the organization?

Your journal entry must be at least 200 words. No references or citations are necessary.

Unit VII Article Critique Open

Instructions

As a leader, it is expected for you to be able to identify with the workers within the organization. This process can take place during basic observation, performance evaluations, attendance, interaction with others, and basic characteristics or behaviors. The leader must identify different personality types or behaviors and apply the suggested tactics for properly handling each type.

Research the  Online Library or another external source for an article(s) that addresses different personality types or behaviors in the work place and how to apply tactics for properly handling of each type.

Provide your opinion on the article as it applies to the following questions:

  • What is the author’s main point?
  • Who is the author’s intended audience?
  • Do the author’s arguments support his or her main point? Explain different personality types or behaviors and how to apply the suggested tactics for properly handling of each type.
  • What evidence supports the main point?
  • What is your opinion of the article? (Do not simply summarize the article.)
  • What evidence, either from the textbook or additional sources, supports your opinion?

Your article critique should be at least two pages in content length, including an introduction, a body of supportive material (paragraphs), and a conclusion. Be sure to include a title page and a reference page and follow all other APA formatting requirements. The title page and reference page do not count toward the total page requirement.

Chapter

1

2

Helping Others

D

evelop and Grow

JGI/Getty Images

Learning Objectives

A

fter reading and studying this chapter and completing the exercises, you should be able to

Understand how being a nurturing, positive person can influence the development of coworkers.

Specify the behaviors and skills helpful for being a mentor and role model.

Acquire beginning skills in coaching and training.

Helping difficult people on the job.

Lisa is the food service manager at a large HMO (health maintenance organization) in Minneapolis, employing 2,000 people. Her major responsibility is to oversee the HMO cafeteria to make sure that the meals offered employees are nutritious, healthy, uncontaminated, attractive, and reasonably priced. A small percentage of outpatients visiting the HMO also make use of the cafeteria. Lisa knows from experience that they are quick to complain about cafeteria food for the smallest of reasons, such as “the chicken parmesan was served lukewarm instead of hot.”

B

ut Lisa is facing a problem she considers to be more career threatening than a cafeteria visitor complaining about food temperature. Her boss, Tara, the director of HMO operations, has been arguing with her, even screaming at times, about how Tara must boost productivity in the cafeteria by such means as decreasing staff and purchasing food supplies at lower cost. Lisa felt that she had accomplished very little in her latest discussion with Tara about how any more cuts in staff and food costs would lower food service and quality to the point of damaging cafeteria revenues.

During her lunch break, Lisa decided to send an e-mail to Rick, her mentor in Chicago. Rick is a restaurant manager who Lisa met at a trade association conference a few years ago. Part of Lisa’s e-mail read, “Hi Rick. I know you are quite busy, but I need your good advice again. You know that Tara can be stern, but she seems to be really angry with me lately. She’s leaning on me to squeeze costs beyond reason. She won’t listen to me. What should I do?

“I’m in O’Hare [the major Chicago airport] right now, and my flight leaves within thirty minues. Here is my advice for now,” wrote back Rick. “Go to Tara with some constructive plan, like purchasing produce from Asia and buying canned goods in bigger bulk. Let her know if a cafeteria supervisor is retiring who will not be replaced. Be positive and talk about lower costs. Get Tara to smile. Let me know what happens.”

Lisa sent back an e-mail with this message. “Hi Rick. You’ve given me a couple of good ideas I can try. I’ll let you know what happens. Thanks again for your mentoring.”

The exchange between Lisa and Rick is often called e-mentoring, or mentoring via electronic messages to substitute for, or supplement, face-to-face interactions. The anecdote also illustrates the importance of people in the workplace helping each other grow and develop; however, the growth and development of workers is not the sole responsibility of managers or training specialists. Companies are placing increasing emphasis on workers training and developing each other, particularly because many companies operate with a smaller managerial and human resources staff than in previous decades.

This chapter describes the major ways in which employees help each other, and lays the groundwork for skill development in these vital activities. Learning to take the initiative to help others is particularly important because there is a natural tendency for people to be embarrassed or fearful of asking for help. The concern is that the person asking for help will be seen as deficient in some important way. Despite these concerns, a company is at an advantage when workers help each other.[1]

Among the key helping roles are nurturing others, mentoring, coaching and training, and helping difficult people become more cooperative. Do

Self-Assessment Quiz

12

-1

to gain preliminary insight into your attitudes toward helping others in the workplace.

Being a

N

urturing, Positive Person

Learning Objective 1

A major strategy for helping others grow and develop is to be a nourishing, positive person. A nurturing person promotes the growth of others. Nurturing people are positive and supportive and typically look for the good qualities in others. A toxic person stands in contrast to a nourishing person, because he or she dwells on the negative. Visualize the following scenario to appreciate the difference between a nurturing person and a toxic one.

nurturing person

One who promotes the growth of others.

toxic person

One who negatively affects others.

Self-Assessment Quiz 12-1

 

Attitudes Toward Helping Others

Directions:

Describe how well you agree with the following statements by circling the appropriate letter after each statement: disagree (D), neutral (N), or agree (A).

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

D

N

A

1. If I see a coworker make a mistake, I do not inform him or her of the mistake.

D N

A

2. It should be part of everybody’s job to share skills and ideas with coworkers.

3

. The manager should have exclusive responsibility for coaching people within the work unit.

4

. I can think of many instances in my life when somebody thanked me for showing him or her how to do something.

5

. I have very little patience with coworkers who do not give me their full cooperation.

6

. To save time, I will do a task for another person rather than invest the time needed to show him or her how to do it.

7

. I would take the initiative to put an inexperienced worker under my direction.

8

. As a child, I often took the time to show younger children how to do things.

9

. Rather than ask a coworker for help, I will wait until the manager is available to help me.

10

. It is best not to share key information with a coworker, because that person could then perform as well as or better than me.

11

. “Give a person a fish and he or she will have one meal. Teach that person to fish, and he or she will eat fish for life.”

Total Score

Scoring and Interpretation:

Use the following score key to obtain your score for each answer, and then calculate your total score.

D = 3, N = 2, A = 1

D = 1, N = 2, A = 3

D = 3, N = 2, A = 1
D = 1, N = 2, A = 3
D = 3, N = 2, A = 1
D = 3, N = 2, A = 1
D = 1, N = 2, A = 3
D = 1, N = 2, A = 3
D = 3, N = 2, A = 1
D = 3, N = 2, A = 1
D = 1, N = 2, A = 3

28–

33

: You have very positive attitudes toward helping, developing, and training others in the workplace. Such attitudes reflect strong teamwork and a compassion for the growth needs of others.

19–

27

: You have mixed positive and negative attitudes toward helping, developing, and training others in the workplace. You may need to develop more sensitivity to the growth needs of others to be considered a strong team player.

11–

18

: You have negative attitudes toward helping, developing, and training others in the workplace. Guard against being so self-centered that it will be held against you. Being a nurturing, positive person is a lifelong process rather than a tactic that can be used at will. Nevertheless, making a conscious attempt to be nurturing and positive can help you develop the right mindset. For example, today you might encourage a coworker or friend who is facing a work or personal problem.

Randy, a purchasing specialist, enters the office where two coworkers are talking. One person is nurturing, the other is toxic. With a look of panic, Randy says, “I’m sorry to barge in like this, but can anybody help me? I’ve been working for three hours preparing a spreadsheet on the computer, and it seems to have vanished. Maybe one of you can help me retrieve it.”

Margot, the nourishing person, says, “I’m no computer expert, but since I’m not the one who lost the document, I can be calm enough to help. Let’s go right now.” Ralph, the toxic person, whispers to Margot: “Tell Randy to use the help function. If you help him now, you’ll only find him at the entrance to your cubicle every time he needs help.”

If you listen to toxic people long enough, you are likely to feel listless, depressed, and drained. Toxic people have been described as energy vampires because they suck all the positive energy out of you.[2] Nurturing people, in contrast, are positive, enthusiastic, and supportive. The guideline for skill development here is to engage in thoughts and actions every day that will be interpreted by others as nourishing. Three actions and attitudes that support being a nourishing person are as follows:

Stockbyte/Thinkstock

Recognize that most people have growth needs. Almost everybody has a need for self-fulfillment, although people vary widely in the extent of this need. If you recognize this need, it may propel you toward helping people satisfy the need. You might engage in interactions with coworkers, such as sharing new skills with them, forwarding relevant news articles from the Internet, or telling them about an important new specialty social media site you have discovered. You might also tell them about an exciting course you have taken that has enhanced your self-confidence.

Team up with a coworker inside or outside your department so that the two of you can form a buddy system. The buddy system is used during war combat and with children in a swimming program. You and a friend can use the same system to keep each other informed of decisions and events that could affect your careers. You might nurture your buddy by talking about growth opportunities in the company he or she might not have heard about. Your buddy would reciprocate. One person told her buddy about expanding opportunities for company employees who were fluent in both English and Spanish. The two buddies, who already knew some Spanish, worked together to become fluent.

Be a role model for others. An indirect way of being a nurturing, positive person is to conduct yourself in such a way that others will model your behavior. By serving as a role model, you help another person develop. How to become a role model for coworkers is as comprehensive a topic as learning to be successful. Among the many factors that make you role-model material are a strong work ethic, job expertise, personal warmth, good speaking ability, a professional appearance, and great ethics. Do you qualify yet, or do you need some more work?

Skill-Building Exercise 12-1

provides an opportunity to practice being a positive person.

Being a Mentor to Coworkers

Learning Objective 2

In Homer’s tale the Odyssey, Mentor was a wise and trusted friend, as well as a counselor and adviser. The term mentor has become a buzzword in the workplace, as well as in the community. A mentor is an individual with advanced experience and knowledge who is committed to giving support and career advice to a less experienced person. The less experienced person is the protégé (from the French word for “protected”). You may also see

mentor

An individual with advanced experience and knowledge who is committed to giving support and career advice to a less experienced person.

protégé

The less experienced person in a mentoring relationship who is helped by the mentor.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-1
 

The Nurturing, Positive Person

One student plays the role of Pat, a worker who is experiencing difficulty on the job and in personal life. Pat approaches a coworker during lunch in the company cafeteria and says, “What a day. I just received a rotten performance review. If my work doesn’t improve within a month, the company may let me go. To add to my woes, my fiancé has threatened to break off the engagement if I don’t get a big raise or a promotion. My hard drive went down, taking with it my collection of music, videos, and photos. I feel like my whole world is collapsing.” The other person plays the role of Leslie, who attempts to be nurturing and positive in order to help get Pat out of the doldrums. Run the role-play for about 10 minutes.

The rest of the class provides feedback on Leslie’s skill in being nurturing and helpful. Jot down specific behaviors you think are nurturing and helpful. Also be on the alert for any toxic behaviors.

the word mentee in reference to the person being mentored. Here we look at various characteristics of mentoring, followed by behaviors that will be useful to you in mentoring others.

Characteristics and Types of Mentoring

The term mentoring is used so widely and in so many contexts that it can refer to almost any type of helping relationship. From a more technically precise perspective, mentoring is characterized as:

A unique relationship between two people

A learning partnership that involves emotional and task-related career support

A reciprocal helping relationship

A frequently changing relationship between the mentor and the mentee[3]

Age and experience differences between mentor and protégé

A mentor usually outranks the protégé and is often older. For the present purpose, however, be aware that one coworker can be a mentor to another. As long as you are more experienced and wiser than a coworker in some important aspect of the job, you can be a mentor. The term reverse mentor refers to a younger person who gives advice to an older person, such as a 25-year-old marketing assistant showing her 55-year-old boss how to recruit workers using Twitter.

A person who is not a manager can also be a mentor in another important way. He or she can select an entry-level person in the firm and serve as the inexperienced person’s coach and adviser. Even when a person has a high-ranking person as a mentor, you can also be his or her mentor. The reason is that having more than one mentor improves a person’s chances for developing job and career skills.[4]

Mentoring is more important than ever because it supports the modern, team-based organization. More people work together as equals, and they are expected to train and develop each other. Mentoring facilitates such learning and also supports the current emphasis on continuous learning.

E-mentoring

Mentoring often takes the form of the mentor and protégé communicating by e-mail, referred to as e-mentoring. Many companies have established electronic matching programs that enable employees to receive mentoring from workers who are geographically distant from them. The virtual mentoring can include Web sites for matching mentors and protégés, following the model of online dating sites.[5]

A key aspect of e-mentoring is that it facilitiates making quick contact with a variety of mentors or advisors who can help you with an immediate problem, as illustated in the opening case. Career advisor and author Jeanne Meister says that today’s mentorship models are more similar to Twitter conversations than to the long-term relationships of the past. The new mentoring is often short-term and informal. And the relationship can end quickly, similar to moving on from a mediocre dating relationship.[6]

As the time of corporate professionals and managers has become more scarce, e-mentoring increases in practicality. Quite often a one-minute exchange can provide a useful idea, such as texting to a coworker, “I have a salary review today with Bruce [the boss]. So should I dress business formal just for the occasion?” Also, online mentoring gives the protégé an opportunity to be mentored by a geographically distant mentor, including one who is overseas. The person being mentored might send a quick e-mail, instant message, or text message to the mentor explaining that he just received an outstanding performance review. The mentor might reply back with an encouraging message. When asked about a problem facing the protégé, the mentor might reply with advice quickly. Answers by the mentor within 48 hours are recommended to communicate an attitude of concern.[7]

How coworker mentoring takes place

Mentoring coworkers can take place in one of two ways. With informal mentoring, the mentor and protégé come together naturally, in the same way that friendships develop. In choosing a coworker to be a mentor, a sensible approach is to ask a coworker who has valuable knowledge you need to provide you some guidance. For example, you might need help in staying on track with projects, and a coworker of yours is superbly organized and therefore someone who could be helpful to you. A suggestion is to spell out what you want, and then ask, “Will you be my mentor?”[8]

The formal approach is for the company to assign you somebody to mentor. Several studies have shown that mentoring is likely to be more effective when both the mentor and protégé have some input into the matching.[9] Measures of mentoring effectiveness include rate of promotions, salary increases, and job satisfaction. Being mentored is also a career-advancement tactic, and will be discussed in Chapter

17

.

Whether the coworker mentor is assigned or chosen spontaneously, the relationship will often benefit the two people. As in the previous example, giving advice to another person about how to stay on track with an assignment can help a person refine further his or her organizational abilities.

Serving as a mentor is an excellent way of helping others on the job. Mentoring is also widely practiced off the job. Many communities have developed programs whereby working adults volunteer to serve as mentors to youths. Mentoring in these programs is designed to help adolescents and teenagers succeed at school and avoid a life of crime and substance abuse.

Specific Mentoring Behaviors

To be a mentor, a person engages in a wide range of helping behaviors, all related to being a trusted friend, coach, and teacher. To prepare you for mentoring a less experienced person, a list of specific mentoring behaviors follows:[10]

Sponsoring. A mentor actively nominates somebody else for promotions and desirable positions. In some situations, one person is asked to nominate a coworker for a promotion to supervisor or team leader or for a special assignment.

Coaching and counseling. A mentor gives on-the-spot advice to the protégé to help him or her improve skills. Coaching is such an important part of helping others that it receives separate mention in this chapter. Coaching as part of mentoring is quite helpful in developing the leadership potential of the mentee.[11] For example, a newly appointed supervisor might be coached on how to deal with difficult people, thereby enhancing his or her leadership skills. Counseling refers to the idea of the mentor listening to the protégé’s problems and offering advice.

Protecting. A mentor might shield a junior person from potentially harmful situations or from the boss. For example, the mentor might tell her protégé, “In your meeting today with the boss, make sure you are well prepared and have all your facts at hand. He is in an ugly mood and will attack any weakness.”

Sharing challenging assignments. One member of the team does not ordinarily give assignments to another, yet in some situations you can request that your protégé help you with a difficult task. You would then offer feedback on your protégé’s performance. The purpose of these high demands is to help the protégé develop more quickly than if he or she were brought along too slowly.

Acting as a referral agent. The mentor sometimes refers the protégé to resources inside and outside the company to help with a particular problem. For example, the protégé might want to know how one goes about getting the employee benefits package modified.

Role modeling. An important part of being a mentor is to give the protégé a pattern of values and behaviors to emulate. Several of the specific behaviors included under being a role model were described earlier in connection with being a positive, nurturing person.

Giving support and encouragement. A mentor can be helpful just by giving support and encouragement. In turn, the protégé is supposed to support the mentor by offering compliments and defending the mentor’s ideas. In a team meeting, for example, the protégé might make a statement such as, “I think John’s ideas will work wonders. We should give them a try.”

Providing friendship. A mentor is, above all, a trusted friend, and the friendship extends two ways. “Trusted” means that the mentor will not pass on confidential information or stab you in the back. (It is also possible to mentor someone who is not a friend, providing that person is interested primarily in learning business or technical skills from you.)

Encouraging problem solving. Mentors help their protégés solve problems by themselves and make their own discoveries. A comment frequently made to mentors is, “I’m glad you made me think through the problem. You triggered my thinking.”

Explaining the ropes. A general-purpose function of the mentor is to help the protégé learn the ropes, which translates into explaining the values and do’s and don’ts of the organization.

Teaching the right skills. The original role of the mentor in teaching skills (such as a master teaching an apprentice) is highly relevant today. Among the many skills a mentor can help the protégé develop are those dealing with communication technology, customer service, corporate finance, achieving high quality, and thinking strategically.

Encouraging of continuous learning. A major role for the modern mentor is to encourage the protégé to keep learning. Part of encouraging lifelong learning is to emphasize that formal education and an occasional workshop are not sufficient for maintaining expertise in today’s fast-changing workplace. The individual has to stay abreast of new developments through courses and self-study. A specific way in which the mentor can encourage continuous learning is to ask the protégé questions about new developments in the field.

As implied by the preceding list, mentoring is a complex activity that involves a variety of helping behaviors. To develop mentoring skills, you need to offer help to several people for at least six months.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-2

is a good starting point in mentoring. In preparation for more advanced mentoring, it is helpful to think of the type of person you would prefer to have as a protégé.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-3

is designed to help you think through this issue. Be prepared for a potential protégé seeking you out, because many people serious about advancing their careers search for potential mentors with whom they have rapport. Similarly, if you are looking for a mentor, take the initiative to establish contact with someone you like and whom you think could help you.

Mentoring is designed to help another individual grow and develop; yet, mentoring can also help your employer at the same time. A key way in which the company benefits from coworker mentoring is that the mentor passes along, or transfers, valuable knowledge to the protégé.[12] For example, the mentor might share with the protégé a few good

Skill-Building Exercise 12-2
 

Getting Started with Mentoring

If you choose to do this skill-building exercise, it will take time outside of class, and the exercise could turn into an ongoing activity. Successful mentoring requires experience, and all mentors need to start somewhere. The task is to find somebody to mentor, and then become his or her mentor. For starters, it is usually easier to find a protégé among people younger and less experienced than you in some domain, such as math, communication technology, reading, or a sport. A source of a protégé might be a community center, a park and recreational center, a school, a church, or a temple. It is conceivable that you could find a source of people wanting mentoring in your community through an Internet search engine.

Identify the ways in which you might be able to function as a mentor, such as imparting knowledge, providing emotional support, or being a Big Brother or Big Sister. Be prepared to be subjected to a background check before being selected as a mentor.

After finding a protégé, keep a diary of your activities, including any observations about how your protégé is being helped. Identify mentoring roles that you have carried out. Record also how you are enjoying the experience. An example: “Today I was mostly a friend to Teddy. He was bummed out because the coach gave him only two minutes of playing time in Friday night’s game. He was also complaining that he was the only kid on the team without an iPod. I listened carefully and then explained that patience in life is important. Teddy felt a little better and smiled. I felt wonderful for having been helpful.”

Observe also any mentoring skills you need to work on to become more effective as a mentor. Also evaluate whether the mentoring appears to be having a positive impact on the life of your protégé.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-3
 

Selecting a Protégé

To be a successful mentor, it is necessary to select protégés who will respond well to your advice and coaching. Since the mentor–protégé relationship is personal, much like any friendship, you must choose protégés carefully. In about 50 words (in the space provided), describe the type of person you would like for a protégé. Include cognitive, personality, and demographic factors in your description (refer to Chapter 2 for ideas). Indicate why you think the characteristics you chose are important.

My Ideal Protégé

As many class members as time allows can present their descriptions to the rest of the class. Look for agreement on characteristics of an ideal protégé.

tricks for collecting money from a delinquent debtor. Workers who receive mentoring are likely to feel more satisfied about their jobs and stay with the organization longer. A study of more than 1,

30

0 US Army officers showed that officers who were mentored felt more emotionally committed to the Army than did their nonmentored counterparts. Furthermore, mentored officers felt more likely to stay in the Army and were less likely to leave the military voluntarily.[13]

As business has become highly internationalized, mentoring people from different cultures has become more frequent. In general, to engage in cross-cultural mentoring effectively, you need to follow the principles described in Chapter 8 about cross-cultural relations.

Coaching and

Training Others

Learning Objective 3

Two direct approaches to helping others in the workplace are coaching and training. In the traditional organization, managers have most of the responsibility for coaching and training, with some assistance from the human resources department. In the new workplace, team members share responsibility for coaching and training. High-tech companies, such as Google, Facebook, and Microsoft, heavily emphasize workers sharing knowledge with each other. Open workspaces, including the presence of whiteboards, are used to facilitate workers exchanging ideas and passing along information. Although coaching and training are described separately in the following subsections, recognize that the two processes are closely related.

Coaching Skills and Techniques

Most readers probably have some experience in coaching, whether or not the activity was given a formal label. If you have helped somebody improve his or her performance on the job, on the athletic field, in a musical band, or on the dance floor, you have some coaching experience. In the workplace, coaching is a method of helping workers grow and improve their job competence by providing suggestions and encouragement. The suggestions for coaching are generally easier to implement if you have formal authority over the person being coached. Nevertheless, with a positive, helpful attitude on your part, coworkers are likely to accept coaching from you.

coaching

A method of helping workers grow and develop and improve their job competence by providing suggestions and encouragement.

Suggestions for Coaching

Considerable workplace coaching is performed by professional coaches who specialize in helping managers improve their interpersonal skills. Our focus here is coaching by workers themselves rather than by paid professionals. Peer coaching is a type of helping relationship based on qualities such as high acceptance of the other person, authenticity, mutual trust, and mutual learning. Coaching other employees requires skill. One way of acquiring this skill is to study basic principles and then practice them on the job. Another way is to coach under simulated conditions, such as role-playing and modeling an effective coach. Here are 11 suggestions for effective coaching, as outlined in Figure 12-1. For the best results, combine them with the suggestions for effective listening presented in Chapter 4.

peer coaching

A type of helping relationship based on qualities such as high acceptance of the other person, authenticity, mutual trust, and mutual learning.

Alexander Raths/Shutterstock

1.

Build relationships.

2.

Provide specific, constructive feedback.

3.

Make criticism pain-free and positive.

4.

Encourage the person you are coaching to talk.

5.

Ask powerful questions.

6.

Give emotional support.

7.

Give some constructive advice.

8.

Coach with “could,” not “should.”

9.

Interpret what is happening.

10.

Allow for modeling of the desired performance and behaviors.

11.

Applaud good results.

Figure 12-1 Coaching Skills and Techniques

Build relationships. A starting point in being an effective coach is to build relationships with coworkers before coaching them. Having established rapport with coworkers or subordinates facilitates entering into coaching relationships with them. A comprehensive study of coaching concludes that the relationship between two people is the most important aspect of the coaching process.[

14

] The suggestions ahead about giving encouragement and support are part of relationship building. Another vital aspect of relationship building is to be trusted by the people you coach.[

15

] For example, the person being coached has to believe that the coach is trying to help rather than undermine him or her.

Provide specific, constructive feedback. Instead of making generalities about an improvement area for another person, pinpoint areas of concern. A generality might be, “You just don’t seem as if you’re interested in this job.” A specific on the same problem might be, “You neglect to call in on days that you are going to be out ill. In this way, you are letting down the team.” Sometimes it can be effective to make a generalization (such as not being “interested in the job”) after you first produce several concrete examples. Closely related to minimizing generalizations is to avoid exaggerating, for example, by saying such things as, “You are always letting down the team.” Specific feedback is sometimes referred to as behavioral feedback because it pinpoints behavior rather than personal characteristics or attitudes. “Neglecting to call in” pinpoints behavior, whereas “not into the job” focuses more on an attitude.

behavioral feedback

Information given to another person that pinpoints behavior rather than personal characteristics or attitudes.

Feedback should be positive when possible, but also negative when necessary. A balance of positive and negative feedback is usually more helpful because negative feedback helps point the person toward an area for improvement, such as, “The credit reports you have prepared are generally quite useful, but we could still use more details about credit problems you have uncovered.”

Make criticism pain-free and positive. To be an effective coach, you will inevitably have to point out something negative the person you coach has done or is planning to do. It is helpful to come right to the point about your criticism, such as, “In our department meeting this morning, you acted so angry and hostile that you alienated the rest of the group. I know that you are generally a positive person, so I was surprised. My recommendation is that you keep your bad days to yourself when in a meeting.” The positive aspect is important because you want to maintain good communications with the person you coach, whether you are the person’s supervisor or coworker.[16]

Encourage the person you are coaching to talk. Part of being a good listener is encouraging the person being coached to talk. Ask the person you are coaching open-ended questions. Closed questions do not provide the same opportunity for self-expression, and they often elicit short, uninformative answers. Assume that you are coaching a coworker on how to use the intranet system properly. An effective open-ended question might be, “Where are you having the biggest problems using our intranet?” A closed question covering the same topic might be, “Do you understand how to use the intranet?” The latter question would not provide good clues to specific problem areas faced by your coworker. A useful technique is to begin each coaching session with a question to spark the other person’s thinking.[17] An example is to ask, “What new ideas do you have for decreasing turnover among our teenage cashiers?”

Ask powerful questions. A major role for the coach is to ask powerful or tough questions that help the protégé think through the strengths and weaknesses of what he or she is doing or thinking. The powerful question is confrontational in a helpful way. The person being coached might be thinking of selling management on a program of distributing free ginkgo baloba (a food supplement believed to stimulate mental energy) to every employee to enhance productive thinking. Your powerful question might be, “What kind of figures are you going to use to support your expensive idea?”

Give emotional support. By being helpful and constructive, you provide much-needed emotional support to the person who needs help in improving job performance. A coaching session should not be an interrogation. An effective way of providing emotional support is to use positive rather than negative motivators. For example, as a team leader you might say to a team member, “If you learn how to analyze manufacturing costs, you will be eligible for an outstanding performance review.” A negative motivator on the same topic might be, “If you don’t learn how to analyze manufacturing costs, you’re going to get zapped on your performance review.”
Workers who are performing well can also profit from praise and encouragement, often so that they can perform even better. Also, even the best performers have flaws that might be preventing them from elevating their performance. As a team leader or coworker, you can therefore make a contribution by giving emotional support to a star performer.

Give some constructive advice. Too much advice-giving interferes with two-way communication, yet some advice can lead to improved performance. Assist the person being coached to answer the question, “What can I do about the problem?” Advice in the form of a question or suppositional statement is often effective. One example is, “Could the root of your problem be that you have not studied the user manual?”

Coach with “could,” not “should.” When instructing somebody else to improve, tell the person he or she could do something rather than he or she should do it. Should implies the person is doing something morally wrong, such as, “You should recycle the empty laser cartridges.” Could leaves the person with a choice to make: to accept or reject your input and weigh the consequences.[18]

Interpret what is happening. An interpretation given by the person doing the coaching is an explanation of why the person being coached is acting in a particular manner. The interpretation is designed to give the person being coached insight into the nature of the problem. For instance, a food service manager might be listening to the problems of a cafeteria manager with regard to cafeteria cleanliness. After a while, the food service manager might say, “You’re angry and upset with your employees because they don’t keep a careful eye on cleanliness. So you avoid dealing with them, and it only makes problems worse.” If the manager’s diagnosis is correct, an interpretation can be extremely helpful.

Allow for modeling of the desired performance and behaviors. An effective coaching technique is to show the person being coached an example of what constitutes the desired behavior. A customer service representative was harsh with customers when facing heavy pressure. One way the supervisor coached the service representative was by taking over the manager’s desk during a busy period. The representative then watched the supervisor deal tactfully with demanding customers.

Applaud good results. Effective coaches on the playing field and in the workplace are cheerleaders. They give positive reinforcement by applauding desired results. Some effective coaches shout in joy when the person coached achieves outstanding results; others give high-fives or clap their hands in applause.[19]

Coaching has become so ingrained into many organizational cultures that its effectiveness is rarely questioned. A frequent opinion about the benefits of coaching is that it

Self-Assessment Quiz 12-2

 

Characteristics of an Effective Coach

Directions:

Following is a list of traits, attitudes, and behaviors of effective coaches. Indicate under each trait, attitude, or behavior whether you need to improve on it (e.g., “Yes, patience toward people”). Then, in the right column, prepare an action plan for improving each trait, attitude, or behavior that you need to develop. Sample action plans are provided.

Trait, attitude, or behavior

Action plan for improvement

Empathy

Sample: Will listen until I understand the person’s point of view.

Your own:

Listening skill

Sample: Will concentrate extra hard to listen.

Your own:

Ability to size up people

Sample: Will jot down observations about people upon first meeting, then verify in the future.

Your own:

Diplomacy and tact

Sample: Will study a book of etiquette, and/or find an app

on the subject.

Your own:

Patience toward people

Sample: Will practice staying calm when someone makes a mistake.

Your own:

Concern for welfare

Sample: When interacting with another person, will ask self, or others, “How can this person’s interests best be served?”

Your own:

Provide constructive feedback with an I statement [22]

Sample: Even when upset with other person’s work, I will make a suggestion, and not simply blame the person. I will

say something to the effect of, “I am upset because you have been late with the customer surveys for four months in a row.”

Your own:

Self-confidence

Sample: Will attempt to have at least one personal success each week.

Your own:

Noncompetitiveness

Sample: Will keep reminding myself that all boats with team members rise with the same tide.

Your own:

Enthusiasm for people

Sample: Will search for the good in each person.

Your own:

Work on personal development, thereby leading by example

Sample: Overcome projecting the attitude that people who disagree with me are really stupid.

Your own:

Develop trust and respect[

23

]

Sample: Consistently tell the truth to people.

Your own:

helps retain employees because being coached help builds loyalty. Being coached by a co-worker also helps the worker develop a valuable job skill, such as interpreting massive amounts of data.[

20

] A study with 666 call center telephone operators found that workers who received coaching tended to perform better. A key performance measure was how long it took a worker to resolve customer problems.[

21

]

One implication of the coaching suggestions just presented is that some people are more adept at coaching than others. Self-Assessment Quiz 12-2 provides insight into the right stuff for being an effective coach. After doing that exercise and reading the suggestions, you will be prepared for

Skill-Building Exercise 12-4

about coaching.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-4
 

Coaching a Mediocre Performer Role-Play

Visualize a busy sports medicine clinic and yourself as the chief administrator. You recognize that many of your patients urgently need the medical help your clinic offers because they have been injured substantially while participating in sports. Yet a good proportion of your patients are visiting the clinic for rehabilitation exercises that they can do on their own or learn from downloaded videos. As a consequence, being pleasant and hospitable is a requirement for all staff members, physicians, physical therapists, and support personnel alike. You want to keep your practice thriving through the rehabilitation patients.

One of your intake specialists, Tanya, goes about her work in a bland, mechanical manner. She makes relatively few errors in processing patient information, but she expresses very little warmth and appreciation toward patients. You have frequently observed patients appearing perplexed and displeased when Tanya deals with them. You have decided to get started coaching Tanya this afternoon toward becoming a warmer, more cheerful intake specialist.

One student plays the role of the chief administrator, and one student plays the role of Tanya, who has no clue as to why she is being coached. To her knowledge, she is a thoroughly professional sports medicine intake specialist.

For both scenarios, observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of coaching techniques” (for the chief administrator). The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.

Training Others

A direct way of helping others in the workplace is to train them. Training is the process of helping others acquire a job-related skill. The emphasis on continuous learning by employees to keep up with changes in technology and work methods has helped elevate the importance of on-the-job training. For example, another training opportunity for some workers is to assist in the remedial learning of less skilled employees. According to the United States Center for Educational Statistics, one in five American adults lacks the math competency expected of an eighth grader. The problem is even more intense with respect to literacy.[

24

] Even if employees lacking basic skills do receive classroom instruction, they may still need the assistance from workers at a higher skill level.

training

The process of helping others acquire a job-related skill.

Supervisors and trainers are responsible for much of the training in organizations. Yet as mentioned at the outset of the chapter, to save money, more responsibility for training has shifted to workers themselves. Also, as organizations operate with fewer managers, coworkers have more responsibility to train each other.

While training others, keep in mind certain time-tested principles that facilitate learning—and therefore training. Applying these principles consistently will increase the chances that the people you are training will acquire new skills. A considerable amount of training has shifted to e-learning (also referred to as distance learning and online learning), especially for acquiring cognitive knowledge and skills. Traditional training principles apply to e-learning, and you will still have opportunities to help the trainee. Many e-learners still need to ask a coworker a question, such as “I’ve been studying the metric system, and I can figure out how to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit, but I’m still having trouble going in the opposite direction. I’m doing something wrong. Can you help?” The training principles are as follows:

Encourage concentration. Not much learning takes place unless the trainee concentrates carefully on what is being learned. Concentration improves the ability to do both mental and physical tasks. In short, encourage the person you are training to concentrate.

Use motivated interest. People learn best when they are interested in the problem facing them. Explain to the trainee how the skill being taught will enhance his or her value as an employee, or relate the skill to the person’s professional goals. Trainees can be encouraged to look for some relationship between the information at hand and their personal welfare. With this relationship in mind, the person will have a stronger intention to learn.

Remind learners to intend to remember. We often fail to remember something because we do not intend to commit it to memory. Many executives are particularly effective at remembering the names of employees and customers. When one executive was asked how she could commit so many names to memory, she replied, “I look at the person, listen to the name, and try hard to remember.” An example of reminding a protégé to remember would be to advise him or her to memorize the company mission statement.

Ensure the meaningfulness of material. The material to be learned should be organized in a meaningful manner. Each successive experience should build on the other. In training another person how to process a customer order, you might teach the skill in terms of the flow of activities from customer inquiry to product delivery.

Give feedback on progress. As a person’s training progresses, motivation may be maintained and enhanced by providing knowledge on his or her progress. To measure progress, it may be necessary to ask the trainee questions or ask for a job sample. For example, you might ask the person being trained on invoices to prepare a sample invoice.

Ask the trainee to reflect on what he or she has learned. Research indicates that if you think carefully about what you have learned, your retention of the information increases. The idea is to step back from the experience to ponder carefully and persistently its meaning to you.[25] After participating in a team development exercise involving white-water rafting, a person might reflect, “What did I really learn about being a better team player? How was I perceived by my teammates in the rubber raft? Did they even notice my contribution? Or did they think I was an important part of the team success?”

Deal with trainee defensiveness. Training is sometimes slowed down because the person being trained is defensive about information or skills that clash with his or her beliefs and practices. The person might have so much emotional energy invested in the status quo that he or she resists the training. For example, a sales representative might resist relying heavily on selling online because she believes that her warm smile and interpersonal skills have made her an excellent communicator. She is concerned that if she communicates with customers exclusively through e-mail or a company Web site, her human touch will be lost. Sensing this defensiveness, the trainer is advised to talk about e-commerce as being a supplement to, but not a substitute for, in-person communication. (However, the sales rep might also be worried that her position will be eliminated.)

Take into account learning style. Another key factor that influences training is learning style, the way in which a person best learns new information. An example of a learning style is passive learning. People who learn best through passive learning quickly acquire information by studying texts, manuals, magazine articles, and Web sites. They can juggle images in their mind as they read about abstract concepts such as supply and demand, cultural diversity, or customer service. Others learn best by doing rather than studying: for example, learning about customer service by dealing with customers in many situations.

learning style

The way in which a person best learns new information.

Another key dimension of learning styles is whether a person learns best by working alone or cooperatively in a study group. Learning by oneself may allow for more intense concentration, and one can proceed at one’s own pace. Learning in groups through classroom discussion allows people to exchange viewpoints and perspectives.

Because of differences in learning styles, you may decide to design training to fit these differences. For example, if your trainees prefer cooperative learning, you could combine

Skill-Building Exercise 12-5

 

Designing a Training Program

The class organizes into training design teams of approximately six people. Each team sketches the design of a training program to teach an interpersonal skill to employees, such as being polite to customers or interviewing job candidates. The teams are not responsible for selecting the exact content of the training program they choose. Instead, they are responsible for designing a training program based on the principles of learning. Two examples here would be (a) how to encourage the trainees to concentrate and (b) developing a mechanism to provide feedback to the trainee.

The activity should take about 15 minutes and can therefore be done inside or outside the class. After the teams have designed their programs, they can compare the various versions.

learning from reading books, articles, and online information with discussions in a conference room.

To start applying these principles of learning to a training situation, do Skill-Building Exercise 12-5.

Helping Difficult People

Learning Objective 4

A challenge we all face from time to time is dealing constructively with workers who appear intent on creating problems. For a variety of reasons, these difficult or counterproductive people perform poorly themselves or interfere with the job performance of others. A difficult person is an individual who creates problems for others, yet has the skill and mental ability to do otherwise. The difficult person may meet or exceed attendance and performance standards, yet has a toxic personality.[

26

] Many human resource professionals think that the number of difficult persons in the workplace is increasing partly due to the increases in workplace pressures.[27] (As you may have observed, as pressure increases, our worst personality traits and behaviors often emerge.)

difficult person

An individual who creates problems for others even though he or she has the skill and mental ability to do otherwise.

Here we will discuss briefly various types of difficult people, and then emphasize methods for helping them behave more productively. To pretest your skill in dealing with and helping difficult people, do

Self-Assessment Quiz 12-3

.

Self-Assessment Quiz 12-3
 

Dealing with Difficult People

Directions:

For each of the following scenarios, circle the letter of what you think is the most effective way to handle the situation. Choose A or B.

No.

Difficult Behavior

A

B

1

Coworker screams at you for having misspelled his or her name on a report. You

A. listen to him or her scream and then say, “You are upset today.”

B. scream back even louder.

2

A team member tells a gross joke during lunch, so you say,

A. “I am eating now, and your joke disturbs me.”

B. “How gross. You are totally repulsive.”

3

A coworker at the next desk is talking loudly on the phone about the great concert he attended last night. You

A. get up from your chair, stand close to the coworker, and say loudly, “Shut up, office jerk! I’m trying to work.”

B. slip the person a handwritten note that says, “I’m happy you attended a great concert, but I have problems concentrating on my work when you are talking so loudly. Thanks for your help.”

4

During a meeting in a cramped conference room, a coworker you do not know well puts his hand on your knee. You

A. yell at the offender and say he will be reported to management immediately.

B. say quietly, “Stop touching me right now. Your behavior is unacceptable to me.”

5

A team member who rarely carries his share of the workload asks you to cover for him this afternoon so he can take his uncle to the chiropractor. You deal with the situation by

A. carefully explaining that you will cover for him, providing he will take over a specified task for you.

B. telling him you absolutely refuse to help a person as lazy as he.

6

You have become increasingly annoyed with another team member’s ethnic, racist, ageist, and sexist jokes. During a team meeting, she tells a joke you believe is particularly offensive. To deal with the situation, you

A. tell the group an even more offensive joke to illustrate how this woman’s behavior can get out of hand.

B. catch up with her later and tell her how uncomfortable her joke made you feel.

7

A coworker of yours regularly fails to follow through on his agreement to help with a task. Today, he is right on time to help you move some boxes into the storeroom. You say to him,

A. “Miracles do happen. A passive-aggressive person like you actually does what he or she promised.”

B. “It is so nice of you to take the time to help me with this heavy job. Keep up your positive spirit of teamwork.”

8

A coworker of yours is a high-maintenance type who demands so much from so many people. Today you are responsible for ordering food for a luncheon meeting in a conference room. When asked for his pizza preference, he demands four different toppings plus a rare brand of energy drink the pizza store will probably not carry. You take him aside and say,

A. “Your pizza order is typical. You demand so much from others. Do you think you could be a little less demanding?”

B. “Once again you are the office creep. Where do you think you get off making such a ridiculous lunch order?”

9

You have been placed on a task force to save the company money, including making recommendations for eliminating jobs. You interview a supervisor about the efficiency of her department. She suddenly becomes rude and defensive. You

A. get your revenge by recommending that three jobs be eliminated from her department.

B. politely point out how her behavior is coming across to you.

10

A coworker of yours sends you an average of 15 text messages and e-mails per day, almost all of no significance. You take action by

A. explaining how responding to so many messages makes it difficult for you to accomplish your major work tasks.

B. sending him about 25 text messages and e-mails a day for several days to see how he likes it.

Scoring and Interpretation:

Give yourself one point for each of the following answers:

A
A
B
B
A
B
B
A
B
A

8–10: Your score suggests that you have good skill in dealing with a variety of difficult persons.

0–7: Your score suggests that you need to improve your skills in dealing with a variety of difficult persons.

Although you might think that the correct answers to the above scenarios are obvious, the quiz serves the important purpose of sensitizing you to the importance of dealing with difficult behavior in a tactful and sensible way in order to attain the results you want.

Types of Difficult People

Dozens of types of difficult people have been identified, with considerable overlap among the types. For example, one method of classifying difficult people might identify the dictator, while another method might identify the bully. A major challenge in classifying types of difficult people is that some of the types are manifestations of a severe underlying problem referred to as a personality disorder. (Such a disorder is defined as a pervasive, persistent, inflexible, maladaptive pattern of behavior that deviates from expected cultural norms.) One of these 10 different disorders is the narcissistic personality whose behavior includes being grandiose, needing admiration, and lacking empathy. As a difficult person, the narcissistic personality might be labeled a “high-maintenance person,” “a me-first,” or a “know-it-all expert.”

personality disorder

A pervasive, persistent, inflexible, maladaptive pattern of behavior that deviates from expected cultural norms.

Another important consideration about classifying difficult people is that most of them are a mixture and blend of various types, rather than being a pure type.[28] For example, a bully might be really a blend of a bully, a know-it-all, and an exploder. (Watch out for that guy or gal!)

For our purposes, we list a sampling of the many types of difficult people found in the workplace and as customers. As you read the following list, look for familiar types.[

29

]

Know-it-alls believe that they are experts on everything. They have opinions on every issue, yet when they are wrong they pass the buck or become defensive.

Blamers are workers who never solve their own problems. When faced with a challenge or a hitch, they think the problem belongs to the supervisor or a group member.

Gossips spread negative rumors about others and attempt to set people against each other.

Bullies cajole and intimidate others. They are blunt to the point of being insulting, and will sometimes use harsh, vulgar language to attain their goals. Bullies constantly make demands on workmates.

Exploders readily lose self-control when something important or trivial does not go their way, such as having their creative suggestion rejected by the group or being informed that their cubicle will be reduced in size. The loss of self-control frequently takes the form of a temper tantrum.

Repulsives are people whose poor personal hygiene, eating habits, appearance, or foul language disrupts the tranquility of others.

Passive-aggressive people appear to enthusiastically respond to another person’s request or demand, while acting in a way that negatively and passively resists the request. For example, the person might agree to track down a lost shipment by tomorrow but not deliver, leaving you with an angry customer.

No-people are negative and pessimistic and quick to point out why something will not work. They are also inflexible, resist change, and complain frequently.

Jekyll and Hydes have a split personality. When dealing with supervisors, customers, or clients, they are pleasant, engaging people; yet, when carrying out the role of supervisors, they become tyrannical.

Whiners gripe about people, processes, and company regulations. They complain about being overworked and underpaid, or not receiving assignments up to their true capabilities.

Backstabbers pretend to befriend you and encourage you to talk freely about problems or personality clashes you face. Later, the backstabber reports the information—often in exaggerated form—to the person you mentioned in a negative light. Or the backstabber simply says negative things about you behind your back to discredit you to others.

High-maintenance types require considerable attention from others in such forms as demanding much of the supervisor’s time, making unusual requests to the human resources department, and taking the maximum number of sick days and personal days allowable. High-maintenance types are often a combination of several of the previous types described above.

Clods are master procrastinators who can find plenty of excuses as to why a project has not been started. When the clod finally gets started on a project, the work proceeds so slowly that other people who need the clod’s input fall behind schedule and become stressed.

Minimalists are apathetic and low-performing, and do just enough work to avoid being fired. They do the bare minimum and thrive on being mediocre.

Office cheats take claim for the ideas of other people and benefit from these ideas, leaving the originator of the idea without receiving deserved credit and feeling frustrated because of the stolen ideas.

Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

How one deals most effectively with a difficult person depends to some extent on the person’s type. For example, you might need more time to get through to a passive-aggressive

· Stand up for yourself and recognize that you have a right to be treated in a civil manner, even when a disagreement exists.

· Document every incident and every detail about the bullying, including who witnessed the act. Include information about how the bully created damage such as lowered productivity or time off from work to recover from the stress that bulllying caused.

· Explain to the bully that you are prepared to report inappropriate behavior to the manager and/or the human resources department.

· Appear calm and essentially indifferent to the bully’s tactics. A bully who does not see the potential victim squirm will feel defeated and go away.

· Observe your own body language such as appearing stooped and nervous so you do not give the impression that the bully is getting his or her way. Instead, stand up straight, look the bully in the eyes, and lean forward.

· Laugh politely at the bully to show that you do not take him or her seriously.

· When the bully keeps screaming, stay calm and listen, and after the screaming has run its course, say something to the effect of, “It appears that you are upset.” Such behavior will disarm the bully and make his or her tirade seem pointless.

Figure 12-2 How to Be a Bully Buster

person than to a bully. Figure 12-2 presents specific ideas for dealing with a bully. (You will recall that bullying was described in Chapter 9 as a source of workplace conflict.) The techniques ahead have wide applicability for helping difficult people change to a more constructive behavior pattern. This general approach should prove more helpful than being concerned with specific tactics for each type of difficult person you encounter. A principle to keep in mind in dealing with difficult people is that they vary in their amount of personality disturbance. Workers classified as difficult people whose behavior is propelled by a personality disorder will be the least amenable to change.

The problems difficult people (sometimes referred to collectively as office jerks) create have received considerable attention in recent years from managers. The precise definition of an office jerk is someone who consistently leaves people feeling demeaned, belittled, and de-energized. In addition, the office jerk typically targets people of lesser power than he or she possesses.[30] (Despite the frequent use of the term, labeling people as jerks tends to exclude constructive thinking about dealing with the problem and is not good human relations practice.)

Such companies as Google and Southwest Airlines have taken many of the steps described next to minimize the negative impact difficult people have on productivity and job satisfaction. Another problem is that some positive contributors will quit when forced to work permanently with a difficult person. Many difficult people are also being fired instead of counseled because of the problems they create.

Stay Calm

A good starting point in dealing with many types of difficult people is to stay calm so that you can confront the other person in a professional manner. Staying calm also helps you think of a useful approach on the spot. Imagine that an exploder is upset because the new chair she was assigned has a broken height adjustment. You might calmly say to her, “I can imagine that having a chair that does not adjust is inconvenient, but what would you like me to do?” When you are calm, the difficult person’s anger will often simmer down, and the problem that triggered the person can be solved.

Staying calm also facilitates your acting as a model of how a person should conduct himself or herself in the workplace. Freequently, one has to deal with a whiner who complains about many things. When interacting with this person, if you avoid whining and complaining and you have a positive relationship, the difficult person will sometimes follow you as a model.[31]

Give Ample Feedback

The primary technique for dealing with counterproductive behavior is to feed back to the difficult person how his or her behavior affects you. As in other forms of feedback, be clear about what you want. Focus on the person’s behavior rather than on characteristics or values. If a repulsive type is annoying you by constantly eating when you are working together, say something to this effect: “I have difficulty concentrating on the work when you are eating.” Such a statement will engender less resentment than saying, “I find you repulsive, and it annoys me.” As in coaching, it is better to avoid should statements because they often create defensiveness instead of triggering positive behavior. Instead of saying “You shouldn’t be eating when you are working,” you might try, “Could you find another place to eat when we are working together?”

Feedback will sometimes take the form of confrontation, and it is important not to lose emotional control during the confrontation. If the difficult person has criticized you unjustly in your eyes, attempt not to be defensive. Ask the difficult person exactly what he or she is upset about rather than argue. In this way, the burden of responsibility is now back on the antagonist. For example, if a bully was swearing at you during a meeting, later ask for the reason behind the outburst. Following the technique of disarming the opposition described in Chapter 9, you might agree with at least one of the bully’s points. This will help establish rapport.[

32

] An example here would be, “Yes, I should have consulted you before making the final report. I apologize for the oversight.”

Confrontation is likely to be more effective when the confronter is supportive at the same time. Express a positive intent by conveying your willingness to help and support.[33] For example, “I value your contribution as a coworker, but when you scream at me when you have a different point of view, it blocks our conversation.”

Criticize Constructively

Feedback sets the stage for criticism. It is best to criticize in private and to begin with mild criticism. Base your criticism on objective facts rather than subjective impressions. Point out, for example, that the yes-person’s lack of follow-through resulted in $10,000 in lost sales. Express your criticism in terms of a common goal. For example, “We can get the report done quickly if you’ll firm up the statistical data while I edit the text.” When you criticize a coworker, avoid acting as if you have formal authority over the person.

An indirect form of criticism is to ask a question that indirectly criticizes the difficult person’s behavior. For example, assume that a passive-aggressive person uses a voice tone that contradicts his or her intention of being willing to accept an assignment. You might say, “Is there something bothering you that we should discuss? I want to make sure we are in agreement.”[34]

Help the Difficult Person Feel More Confident

Many counterproductive employees are simply low in self-confidence and self-efficacy. They use stalling and evasive tactics because they are afraid to fail. Working with your manager or team leader, you might be able to arrange a project or task in which you know the difficult person will succeed. With a small dose of self-confidence and self-efficacy, the person may begin to complain less. With additional successes, the person may soon become less difficult.[

35

] Self-confidence building takes time; however, self-efficacy can build more quickly as the person learns a new skill.

Use Tact and Diplomacy

Tactful actions on your part can sometimes take care of annoying behavior by coworkers without having to confront the problem. Close your door, for example, if noisy coworkers are gathered outside. When subtlety does not work, it may be necessary to proceed to a confronting type of feedback.

Tact and diplomacy can still be incorporated into confrontation. In addition to confronting the person, you might also point out one of the individual’s strengths. In dealing with a know-it-all, you might say, “I realize you are creative and filled with good ideas. However, I wish you would give me an opportunity to express my opinion.”

Use Non-hostile Humor

Non-hostile humor can often be used to help a difficult person understand how his or her behavior is blocking others. Also, the humor will help you defuse the conflict between you and that person. The humor should point to the person’s unacceptable behavior, yet not belittle him or her. Assume that you and a coworker are working jointly on a report. For each idea that you submit, your coworker gets into the know-it-all mode and informs you of important facts you neglected. An example of nonhostile humor that might jolt the coworker into realizing that his or her approach is annoying is as follows:

If there is ever a contest to choose the human being with a brain that can compete against a cloud computing backup file, I will nominate you. But even though my brain is limited to human capacity, I still think I can supply a few facts for our report.

Your humor may help the other person recognize that he or she is attempting to overwhelm you with facts at his or her disposal. You are being self-effacing and thereby drawing criticism away from your coworker. Self-effacement is a proven humor tactic.

Work Out a Deal

A direct approach to dealing with problems created by a difficult person is to work out a deal or a negotiated solution. Workers who do not carry their load are successful in getting others to do their work. The next time such a worker wants you to carry out a task, agree to it if he or she will reciprocate by performing a task that will benefit you. For working out a deal to be effective, you must be specific about the terms of the deal. The worker may at first complain about your demands for reciprocity, so it is important to be firm.

Reinforce Civil Behavior and Good Moods

In the spirit of positive reinforcement, when a generally difficult person is behaving acceptably, recognize the behavior in some way. Reinforcing statements would include “It’s fun working with you today” and “I appreciate your professional attitude.”

Ask the Difficult Person to Think Before Speaking

Human relations specialist John Maxwell suggests that you ask the difficult person to THINK before he or she speaks, with “THINK” referring to the acronym:[

36

]

T Is it True?

H Is it Helpful?

I Is it Inspiring?

N Is it Necessary?

K Is it Kind?

Although Maxwell’s suggestion is aimed at difficult people, it would be a helpful rule of thumb for building relationships with people in many situations.

The tactics for dealing with the difficult people just described require practice to be effective. When you next encounter a difficult person, try one of the tactics that seems to fit the occasion. Role-plays, such as those presented in

Skill-Building Exercise 12-6

, are a good starting point for implementing tactics in dealing with difficult people.

Skill-Building Exercise 12-6
 

Dealing with Difficult People

In both of the following scenarios, one person plays the role of a group member whose work and morale suffer because of a difficult person. The other person plays the role of the difficult person who may lack insight into what he or she is doing wrong. It is important for the suffering person to put emotion into the role.

Scenario 1: A Bully

A bully is present at a meeting called to plan a company morale-boosting event. Several students play the roles of the group members. One student plays the role of a group member who suggests that the event center on doing a social good, such as refurbishing a low-income family’s house or conducting a neighborhood cleanup. Another student plays the role of a bully who doesn’t like the idea. The group member being intimidated decides to deal effectively with the bully (or dictator).

Scenario 2: A No-Person

One student plays the role of a worker with a lot of creative energy whose manager is a no-person. The energetic worker has what he or she thinks is a wonderful way for the company to generate additional revenue: conduct a garage sale of surplus equipment and furnishings. The worker presents this idea to the no-person manager, played by another student. If the manager acts true to form, the worker will attempt to overcome his or her objections.

Scenario 3: A Repulsive

Your team is so busy that you are having a working lunch today in a company conference room. This is the first time the team has had lunch with the newest member of the team. She talks loudly while eating, slurps her beverage in a loud manner, and interrupts the flow of conversation twice with vile descriptions of airplane and cruise ship lavatories being overloaded. As the team leader, you know that criticizing workers in public is poor human relations, but you have to do something to salvage the meeting that the repulsive member is interrupting.

For the three scenarios, observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of human relations techniques.” The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.

Concept Review and Reinforcement

Key Terms

nurturing person 277

toxic person 277

mentor 279

protégé 279

coaching 283

peer coaching 283

behavioral feedback 284

training 287

learning style 288

difficult person 289

personality disorder 290

Summary

Workers have a responsibility to help each other learn, grow, and develop. A major strategy for helping others grow and develop is to be a nurturing, positive person. A toxic person stands in contrast to a nurturing person because he or she dwells on the negative. Nurturing people are positive, enthusiastic, and supportive. Three actions and attitudes that support being a nurturing person are to (1) recognize growth needs in others, (2) use the buddy system, and (3) be a role model.

Being a mentor is another way to help others. As long as you are experienced and wiser than a coworker in some important aspect of the job, you can be a mentor. Mentoring often takes the form of the mentor and protégé communicating by e-mail, referred to as e-mentoring. Coworker mentoring can take place with mentors who can be selected by the company or chosen informally.

To be a mentor, a person engages in a wide range of helping behaviors. Among them are sponsoring, coaching, protecting, sharing challenging assignments, and being a referral agent. Mentors also help protégés solve problems and learn the ropes of an organization. Mentoring can sometimes help the organization by helping workers become more committed to the firm.

Coaching and training are direct helping roles. Coaching is a method of helping workers grow and develop by providing suggestions and encouragement. Suggestions for effective coaching include the following:

Build relationships.
Provide specific, constructive feedback.
Make criticism pain-free and positive.
Encourage the person you are coaching to talk.
Ask powerful questions.
Give emotional support.
Give some constructive advice.
Coach with “could,” not “should.”
Interpret what is happening.
Allow for modeling of the desired performance and behaviors.
Applaud good results.

Training involves helping people acquire job skills. To facilitate training, apply principles of learning such as the following: (1) encourage concentration, (2) use motivated interest, (3) remind learners to intend to remember, (4) ensure the meaningfulness of material, (5) give feedback on progress, (6) ask the trainee to reflect on what he or she has learned, (7) deal with trainee defensiveness, and (8) take into account learning style.

Dealing with difficult people is a major challenge in helping others. Some difficult people have a personality disorder. The many types of difficult people include know-it-alls, blamers, gossips, bullies, exploders, repulsives, yes-people, no-people, Jekyll and Hydes, whiners, backstabbers, high-maintenance types, and office cheats. Companies are concerned about the damage difficult people create and sometimes fire them.

Workers classified as difficult people whose behavior is propelled by a personality disorder will be the least amenable to change. Tactics for dealing with difficult people include (1) staying calm, (2) giving ample feedback including confrontation, (3) criticizing constructively, (4) helping the difficult person feel more confident, (5) using tact and diplomacy, (6) using humor, (7) working out a deal, (8) reinforcing civil behavior and good moods, and (9) asking the person to THINK before speaking.

Questions for Discussion and Review

What is your opinion on whether workers have a responsibility to help each other grow and develop?

What is your opinion of the potential effectiveness of the buddy system in your career?

Suppose one of your mentors is a highly-placed professional in his or her field. Explain whether you would you send that person tweets asking for career advice.

What satisfaction might you derive from coaching a coworker who capitalized on your suggestions to attain higher job performance?

Describe any constructive advice you have received from anybody who has coached you. What was the impact of this advice?

Many career-minded workers today hire their own coach, much like a personal trainer for solving job problems and advancing. Explain whether you would be willing to invest money to hire a business coach or personal trainer for yourself.

What might be a problem in relying heavily on “FAQs” (frequently asked questions) to help in training employees?

How might one employee coach or train another employee by use of Twitter and text messaging?

Suppose an employee notices that a water main has broken in the company parking lot, and shrugs off the incident without reporting the problem. Why should this individual’s lack of action be classifed as passive–aggressive behavior?

How might humor help you deal with the repulsive type of difficult person? Supply an example of a witty comment you might use.

The Web Corner

Home

(Opportunity to shadow people online who have interesting careers)

http://www.BlueSuitMom.com/career/management/difficultpeople.html

(Strategies for dealing with difficult people)

http://www.brighthub.com

(Tips for peer-to-peer coaching)

Internet Skill Builder: Mentoring Online

As mentioned in the chapter, many mentors stay in touch with the people they mentor primarily through e-mail and Web sites, including company and social networking Web sites. Such virtual networking has advantages and disadvantages. Search the Internet for three useful ideas about how to mentor effectively online. Try the search terms “virtual mentoring” and “online mentoring” as well as other terms you think might work. Think through which of these ideas you would use as an online mentor.Developing Your Human Relations Skills

Interpersonal Relations Case 12.1

The Reality Coach

Kara was excited about her new position as Internet sales manager at a food supplement company. The company’s dozens of products included pills and liquids for improving skin health, lowering blood pressure, improving digestion, and improving vision. Many of the company’s sales were in bulk to supermarkets, pharmacies, and health-food stores. In addition, many orders came in over the Internet and by toll-free numbers. Kara’s responsibilities included revitalizing the company Web site periodically and finding ways to direct more Internet traffic to the site.

During Kara’s first week on the job, she was assigned a coach and mentor, Malcolm, the manager of order fulfillment. Malcolm was to act in the dual role of coaching and mentoring Kara, in addition to assisting in her onboarding (getting oriented into the company). During their first meeting, Malcolm was friendly and constructive, saying that his role was to help Kara in any feasible way.

The second meeting between Kara and Malcolm was quite brief, with Malcolm asking Kara if she were yet having any problems he could provide assistance with. Kara replied that all was going well so far.

One week later, Malcolm dropped by Kara’s cubicle, and said to her, “I’ve noticed that Internet sales have been flat since you came on board. What is it that you are doing that is adding value to the company?” Kara replied that enhancing Internet sales takes considerable time.

Ten days later, Malcolm sent Kara an e-mail asking that she meet with him in his cubicle at 4 p.m. Malcolm asked Kara how she was doing, and then said he had some advice for her as her coach and mentor. “Quite frankly, I think you could make a more professional appearance. Your hair is too long, and you wear too much dangling jewelry. I think that you need to tone down your appearance a little to be successful as an Internet sales manager.”

Kara replied, “Nobody else has complained. Besides, most of my important interactions are over the Internet, not with customers face to face. So long hair and dangling jewelry should not be a problem.”

Kara was beginning to wonder if Malcolm was really a help or just an irritant. She then devoted most of her energies the next couple of weeks into revamping and modernizing the company Web site. Her boss, as well as several coworkers, made approving comments about the new Web site. Malcolm, however, had his own opinion of the revamped Web site. He said to Kara in person, “I have heard that a few people like the changes you made to the Web site; but Kara, I am disappointed. You just tweaked the site instead of making radical changes that would increase sales substantially. I know that you can do better.”

Kara replied, “Malcolm, isn’t there anything I can do to please you? Are you my coach and mentor, or just my heckler?”

Malcolm retorted, “Do you think you might be too thin-skinned to succeed in business? As your coach and mentor I have to be frank. Otherwise I can’t help you.”

Case Questions

How effective do you think Malcolm is in his role as Kara’s coach and mentor?

What suggestions can you offer Malcolm to be more effective in his role?

What suggestions might you offer Kara so that she can benefit more from the coaching and mentoring the company is providing her?

Interpersonal Relations Case 12.2

Paula the Petulant Paralegal

Paula enjoys her career as a paralegal in a large, successful law firm. She believes that without her keen attention to details, Internet search skills, and knowledge of relevant laws, the lawyers she supports could never get their work accomplished. Paula says, “Without me behind the scenes doing all the important detail work, our lawyers could never collect those fat hourly fees.”

The attorneys and other staff members who work with Paula are quite satisfied with her legal knowledge and job performance, but working with her has its rough spots. Over a three-month period, Roger, the partner in charge of office administration and human resources, heard the following comments about Paula.

Attorney 1:

I think Paula has an irresistible temptation to make little digs about people. One time at the end of a brief discussion about a case, she said to me that my tie was a terrible match for my shirt and suit. Another time Paula told me that one of our senior partners should change hair dressers because her last two hairdos made her look like she didn’t care about her appearance. Just last week Paula commented to me that the newest paralegal dressed more like a rock singer than a professional working woman.

Attorney 2:

Paula offers a lot to the firm because of her knowledge and dependability, but you need to take professional time to listen to her rants. One of her favorite themes is to complain about the unjust difference between the pay of attorneys and paralegals. I wonder if she wants me to give some of my salary and bonus to her.

Paralegal:

Paula acts like she’s the queen bee. Just because she has more experience than most of the other paralegals in the office, she acts as if she is our boss. If you make one mistake in legal terminology in front of her, she will make a sarcastic comment such as, “Are you sure you received a degree in paralegal studies?”

Office assistant:

I know that Paula contributes a lot to the firm, but she should still be a little more civil and less critical. I asked her a question about a new mobile app the firm had introduced so we could do some work remotely. Paula replied in an angry tone that her ten-year-old niece knew more about technology than I do.

Case Questions

Which type of difficult person does Paula appear to be? Or is she a difficult person?

What actions should the partner in charge of office administration and human resources take to deal with the difficult behavior of Paula?

What should Attorney 1, the office assistant, and the paralegal have done in response to the personal criticisms made by Paula?

Interpersonal Skills Role-Play

Dealing with Petulant Paula

One person plays the role of Roger, the partner in charge of office administration and human resources. He is meeting today with Paula to discuss how she is perceived by several others in the office, particularly with respect to being so nasty. Roger’s goal is to get Paula to be more civil. Roger will be particularly alert to any signs of nastiness from Paula. Another student plays the role of Paula, who believes that she is simply an open and honest person who describes the reality she sees.

Run the role-play for about six minutes, while other class members observe the interactions and later provide feedback about the interpersonal skills displayed by Roger in relation to his interaction with Paula. Also, rate Paula.

Observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of human relations techniques.” The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.

References

Alina Tugend, “Why Is Asking for Help So Difficult?” The New York Times (http://nytimes.com), July 7, 2007, p. 1.

Jeffrey Keller, “Associate with Positive People,” a supplement to the Pryor Report, 1994.

Tammy Ellen and Lillian Eby, Editors, The Blackwell Handbook of Mentoring: A Multiple Perspectives Approach (Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, 2007).

Monica C. Higgins and Kathy E. Kram, “Reconceptualizing Mentoring at Work: A Developmental Network Perspective,” Academy of Management Review, April 2001, pp. 264–288.

Donna M. Owens, “Virtual Mentoring,” HR Magazine, March 2006, pp. 105–107.

Marina Khidekel, “The Misery of Mentoring Millennials,” Bloomberg Businessweek, March 18–March 24, 2013, p. 68.

Stephenie Overman, “Mentors without Borders,” HR Magazine, March 2004, pp. 83–85.

Jennifer Wang, “Will You Be My Mentor?” Entrepreneur, January 2011, p. 22.

Tammy D. Allen, Lillian T. Eby, and Elizabeth Lentz, “Mentoring Behaviors and Mentorship Quality Associated with Formal Mentoring Programs: Closing the Gap between Research and Practice,” Journal of Applied Psychology, May 2006, pp. 567–578.

Based mostly on Kathy E. Kram, Mentoring at Work: Developmental Relationships in Organizational Life (Glenview, IL: Scott Foresman, 1985), pp. 22–

39

; Erik J. Van Slyke and Bud Van Slyke, “Mentoring: A Results-Oriented Approach,” HRfocus, February 1998, p. 14.

Stephanie T. Solansky, “The Evaluation of Two Key Leadership Development Program Components: Leadership Skills Assessment and Leadership Mentoring,” Leadership Quarterly, August 2010, pp. 675–681.

Steve Trautman, Teach What You Know: A Practical Leader’s Guide to Knowledge Transfer Using Peer Mentoring (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2007).

Stephanie C. Payne and Ann H. Huffman, “A Longitudinal Examination of the Influence of Mentoring on Organizational Commitment and Turnover,” Academy of Management Journal, February 2005, pp. 158–168.

Stephen Palmer and Almuth McDowall, eds., The Counseling Relationship: Putting People First (New York: Routledge, 2010).

“Coaching—One Solution to a Tight Training Budget,” HRfocus, August 2002, p. 7; Sharon Ting and Peter Scisco, eds., The CCL Handbook of Coaching: A Guide for the Leader Coach (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2006).

Editors of Managers Edge, The Successful Manager’s Guide to Giving and Receiving Feedback (Alexander, VA: Briefings Publishing Group, 2004), p. 14.

Anne Fisher, “Turn Star Employees into Superstars,” Fortune, December 13, 2004, p. 70.

“Coach with ‘Could,’ Not ‘Should,’” Executive Strategies, April 1998, p. 1.

Andrew J. DuBrin, Leadership: Research Findings, Practice, and Skills, seventh edition (Mason Ohio: Southwestern/Cengage Learning, 2013), p. 326.

Nicole Long, “Organizational Benefits of Coaching & Mentoring,” http://smallbusiness.chron.com, p. 1. Retrieved March 23, 2013.

Xiangmin Liu and Rosemary Batt, “How Supervisors Influence Performance: A Multilevel Study of Coaching and Group Management in Technology-Mediated Services,” Personnel Psychology, Summer 2010, pp. 265–298.

This item is from Tina Smagala, “Having In-House Coaches Is Essential,” Democrat and Chronicle, November 22, 2011, p. 5B.

This item is from John M. Ivancevich and Thomas N. Duening, Management: Skills, Application, Practice, and Development (Cincinnati, OH: Atomic Dog Publishing, 2006), p. 282.

Timothy Wall, “Program to Overcome Early U. S. Math Deficiencies Could Improve Workforce, Says MU Psychologist,” Research at Mizzou (http://research.missouri.edu , February 4, 2013, pp. 1–2.

Kent W. Seibert, “Reflection in Action: Tools for Cultivating On-the-Job Learning Conditions,” Organizational Dynamics, Winter 1999, p. 55.

Jathan Janover, “Jerks at Work,” HR Magazine, May 2007, p. 111.

Jennifer Schramm, “The Rise of the Difficult Employee?” HR Magazine, June 2012, p. 144.

Laurence Miller, From Difficult to Disturbed: Understanding and Managing Dysfunctional Employees (New York: AMACOM, 2008).

Career Track seminar, Dealing with Difficult People, 2013; Fred Pryor Seminar, How to Deal with Unacceptable Behavior, 2007; Hara Estroff Marano, “The High Art of Handling Problem People,” Psychology Today, May/June 2012, pp. 52–61; Jared Sandberg, “Staff ‘Handfuls’ and the Bosses Who Coddle Them,” The Wall Street Journal, October 8, 2003, p. B1; Darnell Morris-Compton, “How to Unmask Workers who Cheat,” Indianapolis Star syndicated story, March 13, 2005.

Leigh Buchanam, “The Bully Rulebook,” Inc. Magazine ( http://Inc.com ), February 2007; Patrick White, “Sometimes Office Jerks Finish First,” Detroit News ( http://detnews.com ), July 23, 2007.

Sue Shellenbarger, “What to Do with a Workplace Whiner,” The Wall Street Journal, September 12, 2012, p. D1.

Nando Pelusi, “Dealing with Difficult People,” Psychology Today, (psychologytoday.com
), 2006.

Tina Smagala, “Straight Talk is Key to Changing Behavior,” Democrat and Chronicle, January 4, 2011, p. 5B.

“End Passive-Aggressive Behavior,” Communication Briefings,” December 2010, p. 1

“How to Deal with ‘Problem’ Workers,” Positive Leadership, sample issue, distributed 2001; Martien Eerhart, “Top 7 Ideas for Dealing with Difficult Employees,” http://top7business.com/archives/personnel/050499.html.

John C. Maxwell, Winning with People: Discover the People Principles That Work for You Every Time (Nashville, TN: Nelson Books, 2004), pp. 1428–1429.

Chapter 13 Positive Political Skills

wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

Learning Objectives

After reading and studying this chapter and completing the exercises, you should be able to

Explain the importance of political skill and other human relations skills for becoming skilled at using positive political tactics.

Manage effectively the impression you give, including developing an awareness of the rules of business etiquette.

Implement political techniques for building relationships with managers and other key people.

Implement political techniques for building relationships with coworkers and other work associates.

Avoid committing political blunders.

Bonnie Marcus is the founder and principal of Women’s Success Coaching. While attending the 14th Annual Wharton Women in Business Conference, she emphasized the importance of building long-term relationships. Marcus noted that while building these relationships, one should not ignore the powerful people who can influence a woman’s career trajectory. She said, “We need to be authentic and so forth, but we need to make sure we understand who makes these decisions. I have learned a lot of lessons in my career, and one of them is the importance of being political.”

For Marcus, that lesson came when when she was vying for a promotion. “I did everything, I thought, right. I was confident, I was competent. I had the numbers, I certainly increased the top line and the bottom line (revenues and profits).” She even asked directly for the promotion and made sure her direct reports came forward to lobby on her behalf.

“I still didn’t get the promotion. And the reason was, I didn’t work the politics,” she said. “I didn’t build a relationship with the right decision makers.” [1]

The comments just quoted from the executive emphasize the major subject of this chapter: The proper use of positive political tactics helps build good interpersonal relationships. In turn, these good relationships can facilitate achieving career goals. Recognize, however, that being competent in your job is still the most effective method of achieving career success. After skill come hard work and luck as important success factors.

A fourth ingredient is also important for success: positive political skills. Few people can achieve success for themselves or their group without having some awareness of the political forces around them and how to use them to advantage. It may be necessary for the career-minded person to take the offensive in using positive and ethical political tactics. As used here, organizational politics refers to gaining power through any means other than merit or luck. (Luck, of course, is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.) Politics are played to achieve power, either directly or indirectly. Power refers to the ability or potential to control anything of value and to influence decisions. The results of such power may take diverse forms like being promoted, being transferred, receiving a salary increase, or avoiding an uncomfortable assignment.

organizational politics

Gaining power through any means other than merit or luck.

power

The ability or potential to control anything of value and to influence decisions.

Organizational politics can also be regarded from the standpoint of interpersonal relationships and sizing up the environment. As described by author and speaker Donna Cardillo, office politics refers to understanding the unwritten rules of the workplace that involve getting along with others, getting recognized for one’s efforts, and following the protocol of how things get accomplished.[2]

As you study this chapter, it will become evident that communication skills and team player skills are necessary for being skilled at politics. Figure 13-1 depicts the relationship among politics, power, and control and influence.

Political tactics, such as developing contacts with key people, lead to power, which enables one to control and influence others.

Figure 13-1 Relationship among Politics, Power, and Influence

Political tactics, such as developing contacts with key people, lead to power, which enables one to control and influence others.

In this chapter, we approach skill development in organizational (or office) politics from several standpoints. Information is presented about such topics as managing your impression, using political tactics to improve interpersonal relationships, and avoiding hazardous political mistakes. To measure your current tendencies toward playing politics, do

Self-Assessment Quiz 13-1

.

Self-Assessment Quiz 13-1
 

Organizational Politics Questionnaire

Directions:

For each of the following statements, check whether you mostly agree or mostly disagree, even if it is difficult for you to decide which alternative best describes your opinion.

Mostly agree

Mostly disagree

1. The boss or the team leader is always right.

2. It is wise to flatter important people.

3. If you do somebody a favor, remember to cash in on it.

4. Given the opportunity, I would go out of my way to develop friendships with powerful people.

5. I would be willing to say nice things about a rival in order to get that person transferred from my department.

6. If it would help me get ahead, I would take credit for someone else’s work.

7. Given the chance, I would offer to help my boss fix something in his or her home, including a technology problem.

8. I laugh heartily at my boss’s humor, even if I do not think it is funny.

9. Dressing to create a favorable appearance is foolish. At the office, wear clothing that you find to be the most comfortable.

10. Never waste lunchtime by eating with somebody who can’t help you solve a problem or gain advantage.

11. I think using e-mail to zap somebody for his or her mistake and sending copies to key people is a good idea.

12. If somebody higher up in the organization offends you, look for ways to get even with him or her.

13. Being candid is the best policy, even if it means insulting somebody.

14. Obtaining power for its own sake would make me feel wonderful.

15. If I had a legitimate gripe against my employer, I would express my views publicly (such as distributing my comments on a blog or social networking site).

16. I would invite my boss or team leader to a party at my home even if I didn’t like him or her.

17. An effective way to impress people is to tell them what they want to hear.

18. Having a school, college, or skyscraper named after me would be an incredible thrill.

19. Hard work and good performance are usually sufficient for career success.

20. Even if I made only a minor contribution to a project, I would get my name listed as being associated with it.

21. I would never publicly correct mistakes made by my supervisor or team leader.

22. I would never use my personal contacts to gain a promotion.

23. If you happen to dislike a person who receives a big promotion in your firm, don’t bother sending that person a congratulatory note.

24. I would never openly criticize a powerful executive in my organization.

25. I would stay late in the office just to impress my supervisor or team leader.

Total Score

Scoring and Interpretation:

Give yourself a 11 for each answer you gave in agreement with the keyed answer. Note that I did not use the term correct answer. Whether or not an answer is correct is a question of personal values and ethics. Each question that receives a score of 11 shows a tendency toward playing organizational politics. The scoring key is as follows:

Mostly agree

Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree

Mostly disagree

Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly disagree
Mostly disagree
Mostly agree
Mostly disagree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly disagree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree
Mostly disagree
Mostly disagree
Mostly agree
Mostly agree

Scores of 1 through 7 suggest a below-average tendency to play politics. Scores between 8 and 12 suggest an average tendency to play office politics. Scores of 13 and above suggest an above-average tendency to play office politics and a strong need for power.

Political Skill and Other Human Relations Skills

Learning Objective 1

Political skill does not stand alone, separated from other human relations skills. Here we look at how political skill relates to awareness of one’s surroundings, emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and relationship building with the leader.

Sensitivity to Your Surroundings

For starters, being sensitive to your surroundings and to other people helps make you politically aware. Cultural sensitivity, as described in Chapter 8 about cross-cultural relations and diversity, is a specific type of sensitivity to one’s surroundings that deals with sizing up the cultural environment.

Imagine that you are applying for a position at Google doing exactly the kind of work you want. You have seen photos of Google employees, and you have visited its headquarters before your interview just to see what the company looks like. No Google worker, including the founders, is ever seen in a business suit, yet this fact escapes you. You show up for your interview wearing a business suit and leather shoes as if you were applying for a position as an investment banker trainee at a Wall Street firm. Zap, you are done. The Google employees wearing jeans, casual shirts and blouses, and running shoes think you would be a poor cultural fit despite your intelligence and talent. You were not sensitive enough to the environment to choose the appropriate attire for you interview.

Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence

Political skill relates to emotional intelligence because you need to be able to read the emotions of others to establish rapport with them. For example, a person with good emotional

Stockbyte/Getty Images

intelligence would ask for a raise when the boss appeared to be in a good mood. Also, the person would avoid asking for a raise when the boss was upset, preoccupied, and in an ugly mood.

Political skill is also directly related to social intelligence, an understanding of how relationships with bosses and colleagues, family, and friends shape our brains and affect our bodies. (As used here, the term social intellligence does not refer to intelligence about social media.) Social intelligence is a book-length subject, yet we can take away a couple of basic lessons that are linked to positive political skill.[3] Social intelligence tells us that good relationships act like vitamins, energizing us to perform well. In contrast, bad relationships are like poison, undermining our cognitive efficiency and creativity. The person with good social intelligence would work at having positive relationships with others on the job, to be able to concentrate on the task and perform well.

social intelligence

An understanding of how relationships with bosses and colleagues, family, and friends shape our brains and affect our bodies.

Another aspect of having social intelligence would be to recognize that being arrogant or derisive toward others can cause emotional distress that impairs the brain’s ability to learn and think clearly. So a good team player or a manager would relate more positively toward others in order to help attain a productive workplace.

Relationship Building with the Leader

A major purpose of organizational politics including political skill is to develop good relationships with your superior, as described later in this chapter. More specifically, strong political skills can help you develop a higher-quality leader–member exchange (LMX). A current study suggests that having good political skills can help a person develop a positive LMX even when the two parties are demographically different. Previous research had shown that LMXs tend to be more positive when the leader and group member are demographically similar, such as being the same sex or race, or similar in age.

The study in question involved 189 participants in a retail service organization. Seventy-six percent of the sample was white (Caucasian), and 56 percent was women. The average age of participants was 30. Participants all took a political skill inventory containing a few ideas similar to the inventory presented in Self-Assessment Quiz 13-1. Political skill was shown to improve relationships with racially dissimilar leaders and group members (better LMX scores). It was also found that the quality of the LMX was not due to gender or age. The researchers concluded that political skill enables subordinates who are racially dissimilar to their supervisors to get around the potential relationship problems based on these differences.[4]

Impression Management and Etiquette

Learning Objective 2

Being an effective, responsible contributor is not always sufficient to gain the attention you deserve. It may also be necessary to make others aware of your capability. Impression management is a set of behaviors directed at enhancing one’s image by drawing attention to oneself. Often the attention is directed toward superficial aspects of the self, such as clothing and appearance. Yet, impression management also includes doing a good job, telling people about your accomplishments, and appearing self-confident. The next subsections list specific tactics of impression management and discuss business etiquette. We discuss etiquette here because how you behave in certain situations shapes your image.

impression management

A set of behaviors directed at enhancing one’s image by drawing attention to oneself.

Tactics of Impression Management

Managing the impression you create encompasses hundred of specific tactics, limited only by your imagination of what will impress others. Impression management is also regarded as the process by which people control the impression others form of them. Part of your power in the organization stems from your formal position, as well as how you are perceived by others. Creating the right image is the practice of impression management.[5]

Although impression management can be used in a variety of relationships, it is most commonly found in the attempt of a worker to please the manager. For example, impression management is frequently used during performance evaluation in order to impress the manager with the worker’s accomplishments. Six positive tactics of impression management are described next.

Display Organizational Citizenship Behavior

We mention organizational citizenship behavior in several places in our study of human relations because of its contribution to effective interpersonal relationships. A highly effective and meritorious way of creating a good impression is to step outside your job description to help coworkers and the company. You become admired for going beyond the call of duty.[6] Organizational citizenship behavior is generally aimed at helping others, yet it is possible that the motive underlying citizenship behavior is to foster a good impression. A prime example is that volunteering for special assignments helping others may provide workers with an opportunity to show off their talents and knowledge, leading to an enhanced image.

Impression management theorists argue that a primary human motive is to be viewed positively by others, and to avoid being viewed negatively. Engaging in organizational citizenship behavior is an effective means of being viewed positively in the sense of having positive motives for engaging in constructive behavior, such as collecting relief funds for a coworker whose apartment burned down.

Whether or not organizational citizenship behavior has an element of trying to look good, the balance of evidence is that citizenship behavior helps both individuals and the organization. On the basis of 168 studies involving more than 50,000 workers, it was found that organizational citizenship behavior helped individuals receive better performance ratings and salary increases. Organizations benefited in such ways higher productivity, lowered costs, and better customer service.[7] Another synthesis of studies found that when the level of organizational citizenship behavior in a work unit was high, work unit performance tended to be high.[8]

Perform Well, and Build Trust and Confidence

A key strategy for creating a positive impression with your immediate superior and higher ranking managers is performing well while at the same time building trust and confidence. In attempting to create a favorable impression, it is essential to remember that being a strong performer is impressive. Performing well is also the foundation for building a strong reputation.

At the same time, project the authentic impression of a person who can be trusted to carry out responsibilities faithfully and ethically. Rather than take action without permission (e.g., spending beyond budget), know the bounds of your authority and work within those bounds. Be aware that your boss has other responsibilities, so do not take more than your fair share of his or her time. You will generate an impression of confidence if you suggest alternative solutions to the problems you bring to your manager.

Be Visible and Create a Strong Presence

An essential part of impression management is to be perceived as a valuable contributor on the job. Visibility is attained in many ways, such as regular attendance at meetings and company social events, being assigned to important projects, and doing volunteer work in the community. Helping in the launch of a new product or redesigning work methods are other ways of attaining visibility and creating a strong presence. Face-to-face visibility is perhaps the best, but electronic visibility can also be effective. This includes making intelligent contributions to company intranets and blogs and sending e-mail messages of substance to the right people. Saying nice things about your company on social networking sites is valuable also. Terry Bragg observes that many employees are shocked to learn that they lost their jobs during a downsizing because upper management did not know that they were valuable contributors.[9]

Admit Mistakes

Many people believe that to create a good impression, it is best to deny or cover up mistakes. In this way, you will not appear vulnerable. A higher level of political skill is to admit mistakes, thereby appearing more forthright and trustworthy. The simple statement “I goofed” will often gain you sympathy and support, whereas an attempted cover up will decrease your social capital. For purposes of impression management, the bottom line of being wrong is to (1) admit the error, (2) request guidance, (3) step-up repair, and (4) learn from it.[10] Requesting guidance is important because it conveys the impression that you have humility and that you trust the advice and counsel of others. Here is an example of this tactic in action:

Cindy, a call center operator, is listening on the phone to a woman rant and rave about a $5.87 charge on her credit card that seems unwarranted. Thinking that she has the telephone receiver covered, Cindy says in a sigh of exasperation to a coworker, “I’m about to scream. I’m talking to the biggest jerk of year right now.” Unfortunately, “the biggest jerk of the year” heard the comment and reported it to Cindy’s supervisor.

During a review of the incident with her supervisor, Cindy said, “Yes indeed I made the comment,” and then asked how to deal with the pressures of such an overreacting customer. Cindy offered to send a written apology to the customer. So far, Cindy has learned from her error and has not repeated the incident.

Minimize Being a Yes-Person

A conventional view of organizational politics suggests that being a yes-person is an excellent way of developing a good relationship with higher-ups and generating the impression of a loyal and supportive subordinate. The yes-person operates by the principle, “the boss is always right.” Often the boss cultivates yes-person behavior among subordinates by being intimidating and unapproachable.[11] When working for an emotionally secure and competent manager, you are likely to create a better impression by not agreeing with all the boss’s ideas and plans. Instead, express constructive disagreement by explaining how the boss’s plan might be enhanced, or an error might be avoided.

Assume that you work in the marketing department of the manufacturer of Jitterbug, a simplified cell phone that focuses on the senior market. Your boss suggests an advertising theme implying that even people with arthritis and those technically challenged can easily operate a Jitterbug. Your intuition tells you this theme would be a humiliating insult to seniors. So, you respond to your boss, “I know that Jitterbug targets seniors, but I suggest that we tone down the terms ‘arthritis’ and ‘technologically challenged.’ Why not be positive, and state that the keys are easy to manipulate, and the Jitterbug is as easy to operate as a landline phone?”

Create a Healthy Image

A superficial yet important part of impression management is to project a healthy, physically fit appearance. Appearing physically fit in the workplace has gained in importance as many business firms offer workers rewards for being physically fit and avoiding smoking and obesity. Among the rewards offered by employers are electronic gadgets, discounted health insurance, and cash bonuses. As health insurance costs have steadily increased in recent years, companies have placed an even stronger emphasis on employees maintaining their physical and mental health. From an impression management perspective, being obese at health-conscious companies would be a negative.

Projecting an image of emotional fitness also contributes to a healthy image. Emotional fitness would include such behaviors as appearing relaxed, appropriate laughing and smiling, and a minimum of nervous mannerisms and gestures. Being physically fit helps project emotional fitness. When managing the impression you create, be mindful of the advice offered by William L. Gardner III. He urges that you be yourself. When selecting an image, do not attempt to be somebody you are not because people will see through this façade. Gardner concludes, “Make every effort to put your best foot forward—but never at the cost of your identity or integrity!”[12] Impression management is geared toward looking good, but not creating a false impression.

You need good political skills to be effective at impression management. A study of 204 employees working on environmental issues indicated that when employees with good political skill use impression management tactics, they are likely to receive higher job performance ratings from their supervisor. In contrast, individuals low in political skill who engage in impression management tend to be seen less positively by their supervisors.[13] In other words, you need a little finesse and sensitivity to people to be good at office politics.

Another essential part of impression management is to avoid creating a negative impression through such behaviors as being absent or late frequently, speaking poorly, or talking in a meeting while the presenter is speaking. The discussion of etiquette helps guide a person away from behaviors that would bring him or her negative attention.

Skill-Building Exercise 13-1

 

The Elevator 30-Second Speech

A long-standing suggestion in career development and impressing higher-ups is to make a 30-second impromptu presentation when you have a chance encounter with a key person in your organization. If you work in an office tower, the chance encounter is likely to take place in an elevator—and it is generally frowned upon to have long conversations in an elevator. So the term elevator speech developed to describe a brief opportunity to impress a key person. Imagine that you have a chance encounter with a high-ranking executive in your area in the elevator, on the escalator, in the parking lot, during a company picnic, or at some other location. You then give that person a 30-second pitch geared to make a positive impression. Because you must boil your pitch down to 30 seconds, you will need to prepare for a long time. (Credit President Abraham Lincoln with that insight.)

About six different pairs (impresser and person to be impressed) will carry out this role-play in front of the class. The evaluators will put themselves in the role of the key person who was the target of the 30-second evaluation. Consider using the following scale, and answering the two questions:

         Wow, I was impressed. (5 points)

         I was kind of impressed with the person I ran into. (4 points)

         He or she left me with at least an average impression. (3 points)

         I found the person to be somewhat annoying. (2 points)

         That person I met left me with a terrible impression. (1 point)

What did I like about the person’s 30-second pitch?

What did I see as possible areas for improvement?

Find a mechanism to feed back some of your observations to the role players. Volunteer to present the findings in class, give the person your comments on note paper, or send him or her an e-mail or text message.

Skill-Building Exercise 13-1 gives you an opportunity to try out a highly practical application of impression management.

Business Etiquette

A major component of managing your impression is practicing good etiquette. Business etiquette is a special code of behavior required in work situations. The term manners has an equivalent meaning. Both manners and etiquette generally refer to behaving in a refined and acceptable manner. Studying etiquette is important because knowing and using proper business etiquette contributes to individual and business success. Eliza Browning, a writer about small business, explains that etiquette is really about making people feel good and ensuring some basic social comforts.[14] For example, if you post a photo on Facebook of a coworker eating a hotdog at a picnic, will that make the person feel good?

business etiquette

A special code of behavior required in work situations.

People who are considerate of the feelings of others, and companies that are courteous toward customers, are more likely to succeed than their rude counterparts. Another perspective on etiquette is that it is a way of presenting yourself with the kind of polish that shows you can be taken seriously. So many people are rude and uncivil today that practicing good etiquette will often give you a competitive advantage.

Business etiquette includes many aspects of interpersonal relations in organizations, as described in the following discussion.[15] We have already discussed in Chapter 5 several aspects of etiquette in relation to the digital workplace. What is considered proper etiquette and manners in the workplace changes over time and may vary with the situation. At one time, addressing one’s superior by his or her first name was considered brash. Today it is commonplace behavior. A sampling of etiquette guidelines is nevertheless helpful. A general principle of being considerate of the feelings of work associates is more important than any one act of etiquette or courtesy. Keep in mind also that you will find a few contradictory statements in writings about etiquette.

Etiquette for Work Behavior and Clothing

Work behavior etiquette includes all aspects of performing in the work environment, such as completing work on time, punctuality, being a good team player, listening to others, and following through. For instance, having the courtesy to complete a project when it is due demonstrates good manners and respect for the work of others.

Clothing might be considered part of general work behavior. The casual standards in the information technology field, along with dress-down days, have created confusion about proper office attire. A general rule is that casual should not be interpreted as sloppy, such as torn jeans or a stained sweatshirt. Many companies have moved back toward emphasizing traditional business attire, such as suits for men and women. In many work situations, dressing more formally may constitute proper etiquette.

Introductions

The basic rule for introductions is to present the lower ranking person to the higher ranking person regardless of age or sex. “Ms. Barker [the CEO], I would like you to meet my new coworker, Reggie Taylor.” (Observe that the higher ranking person’s name is mentioned first.) If the two people being introduced are of equal rank, mention the older one first. Providing a little information about the person being introduced is considered good manners. When introducing one person to the group, present the group to the individual. “Sid Foster, this is our accounts receivable team.” When being introduced to a person, concentrate on the name and repeat it soon, thus enhancing learning. A fundamental display of good manners is to remember people’s names and to pronounce them correctly. When dealing with people senior to you or of higher rank, call them by their last name and title until told otherwise. (Maybe Ms. Barker, above, will tell you, “Please call me Kathy.”)

It is good manners and good etiquette to remember the names of work associates to whom you are introduced, even if you see them only occasionally. If you forget the name of a person, it is better to admit this than to guess and come up with the wrong name. Just say, “I apologize, but I have forgotten your name. Tell me once more, and I will not forget your name again.”

Both men and women are expected to extend their right hand when being introduced. Give a firm, but not overpowering, handshake, and establish eye contact with the person you are greeting; however, some people are concerned about handshakes being unhygienic, so be willing to use the modern fist bump touch often used in social life and athletics. If the other person extends the fist, you do the same.

Relationships between Men and Women and between People of Different Ages

Social etiquette is based on chivalry and the gender of the person, whereas business etiquette is based on generally equal treatment for all. Women should no longer be treated differently when approaching a door, riding in an elevator, or walking in the street. According to the new rules, the person in the lead (no matter the gender or age) should proceed first and hold the door for the others following. A man should, however, still follow a woman when using an escalator. When using stairs, a man usually follows a woman going up and precedes her going down. Men no longer have to walk next to the street when walking with one or two women. Elders should still be respected, but not in such ways as holding doors open for them, helping them off with their overcoats, or getting coffee for them.

Unless you are good friends who typically hug when meeting, it is best to avoid touching others of the same or opposite sex except for a handshake. Some people believe that nonsexual touching is part of being charming and warm, yet many workers are offended when touched by another worker. The subject is controversial because public figures often drape their arms around others, and physical touching is part of the ritual of offering congratulations in sports. Of note, many athletic coaches have switched to fist bumping to say hello or offer congratulations to teenagers and young children to avoid being charged with sexually suggestive contact.

Social kissing should generally be minimzed in an American workplace, but it is welcome in Europe. Kissing in the workplace is generally regarded as rude except among close acquaintenances, yet it is more frequent in Europe; however, European kissing amounts to pecks on both cheeks or the top of the hand, never on the lips.

Dining

Etiquette surrounding meals involves planning for the meeting, making seating arrangements, bill paying, tipping, using proper table manners, and appropriate drinking of alcoholic beverages. We all know not to slurp spaghetti one strand at a time, pour ketchup over sauce, or leave a 50 cent tip. The key point is not to draw negative attention to you. Less obvious are the following guidelines:

Arrange seating for meal meetings in advance.

Establish with the server who will be paying the check.

Place your napkin on your lap immediately after being seated.

Bread should not be used to push food onto a fork or spoon.

Attempt to pace your eating to those of others at the table.

The wait staff, not the diners, should be responsible for moving plates around the table.

Circulate rolls and bread to the right, not the left.

Order an alcoholic beverage only when invited to do so by the person sponsoring the meal, and then only if he or she does. Do not get drunk or even high.

Working in a Cubicle or In an Open Seating Arrangement

Workplace cubicles were invented by fine arts professor Bob Probst in the 1960s, and they have been praised and condemned ever since. The praise generally relates to saving the company money on office space and having more open communication. The condemnation usually relates to lack of privacy, and therefore ties in directly with workplace etiquette.

Cubicles and open office spaces represent a major etiquette challenge because a variety of coworkers and superiors can observe your everyday work behavior.[16] Among the many etiquette challenges for the cubicle dweller or person working in a open space are: (1) speaking low enough into a wired phone so as not to annoy others or reveal confidential information, (2) not allowing a personal cell phone to ring during the workday, (3) not displaying material on the computer that others might find offensive, unless the subject is business related, (4) not wearing a sports cap indoors unless it is an acceptable part of the company culture, and (5) not taking care of personal hygiene such as dental flossing, hair spraying, or nail clipping (the person should do these activities at home).

Cubicle sizes have been shrunk recently or even eliminated to save on company real estate (as well as to foster face-to-face communication). As a result, people work even closer to each other physically. The etiquette challenges just mentioned have thereby intensified, particularly with respect to invading the privacy of others.[17]

Cross-Cultural Relations

What constitutes proper etiquette may differ from culture to culture. Be alert to differences in etiquette in areas such as gift giving, dining, drinking alcoholic beverages, and when and where to discuss business. A culture must be studied carefully, including asking questions, to understand what constitutes proper etiquette.

Many of these differences in customs were described in Chapter 8. Violating these customs is poor etiquette. For example, using the index finger to point is considered rude in most Asian and Middle Eastern countries. Also, people in Middle Eastern countries tend to stand as close as two or three inches from the person with whom they are talking. To back away is interpreted as an insult. An American visitor to China nearly lost a major sale because after receiving a business card from the Chinese company representative, he stuffed it in his pocket without first carefully reading the card. Proper etiquette in China is to carefully read the giver’s business card, and perhaps hold it with both hands out of respect. We emphasize again that stereotypes such as those just mentioned refer to typical behavior and are accurate perhaps only about 70 percent of the time.

Suppose you are in doubt about the proper etiquette for any situation, and you do not have a handbook of etiquette readily available. As a substitute, observe how your host or a successful person in the group behaves.

Interaction with People with Physical Disabilities

Many able-bodied people are puzzled by what is proper etiquette in working with people with disabilities. Be as natural and open as you can. In addition, consider these guidelines for displaying good manners when dealing with a physical disability:

Speak directly to a person with a disability, not to the person’s companion.

Don’t assume that a person with a disability needs help. If someone is struggling, ask for permission to assist.

When talking to a person in a wheelchair, place yourself at that person’s eye level.

When speaking to a person with impaired vision, identify yourself and anyone who may be with you. Do not shout when speaking to a blind person.

Figure 13-2 Relationship between Positive Political Behaviors and Individual Success

Impression management, building relationships with influential people, and avoiding political blunders all contribute to being a more polished and successful professional worker.

To get the attention of a deaf person, tap the person’s shoulder or wave your hand.

Treat a person with a disability as you would anyone else, except for the differences noted in this list.[18]

As shown in Figure 13-2, impression management combined with managing relationships and avoiding political blunders contributes to being a more polished and successful professional worker.

Skill-Building Exercise 13-2

gives you an opportunity to practice appropriate etiquette in several situations.

Building Relationships with Managers and Other Key People

Learning Objective 3

The political purpose of building good relationships with managers is to gain power through such means as being recommended for promotion and key assignments. A good relationship with the boss is also important for the basic purpose of receiving a good

Skill-Building Exercise 13-2
 

Business Etiquette

An effective way of improving business etiquette is by using your best manners in real-life situations. Role-playing etiquette scenarios can also contribute to helping you develop the right mental set for using good etiquette.

Scenario 1: Dining Etiquette

A small group of students plan to conduct a high-etiquette meal at a local family restaurant during nonpeak hours. Pretend the stainless steel utensils are fine silver and that the glasses are crystal. Each class member uses his or her best etiquette. At the same time, each group member carefully observes the etiquette displayed by the other members.

At the conclusion of the meal, critique each other’s etiquette. If you were courteous enough to invite your instructor to your high-etiquette meal, get his or her feedback.

Scenario 2: Telephone Etiquette

Two people using smartphones are separated by about six feet. Several pairs of students might conduct phone conversations covering such matters as discussing customer complaints, inquiring about a job, or asking about product availability. (Note: The students merely pretend they are using the phone, rather than waste phone minutes; however, should phone minutes not be an issue, a real phone call will add to the authenticity of the exercise.) Students not making the calls will carefully observe the callers. Look for examples of good and poor telephone etiquette. Feedback will be provided after the phone conversations are completed.

1. Network with influential people.

2. Help your manager succeed.

3. Conform to your manager’s work style.

4. Understand unwritten boundaries.

5. Volunteer for assignments.

6. Flatter influential people sensibly.

7. Use information power.

8. Appear cool under pressure.

9. Laugh at your manager’s humor.

10. Express constructive disagreement.

11. Present a clear picture of your accomplishments.

Figure 13-3 Strategies and Tactics for Building Relationships with Managers and Other Key People

performance evaluation. Building these good relationships is also important because it helps create a positive, supportive work environment for you. Good relationships can also be established with managers for the nonpolitical purpose of trying to get the job accomplished. The strategies and tactics described next are outlined in Figure 13-3.

Network with Influential People

A basic success strategy is developing contacts, or networking, with influential people. In addition to making contacts, networking involves gaining the trust and confidence of the influential people. (Networking for job finding is described in Chapter 17.) Before you can network with influential people, you must identify who those power players are. (The executive quoted in the opening case advised about the importance of connecting with decision makers.) You might make observations of your own, such as listening for whose names are mentioned frequently by people in the company. Asking the opinions of others about which people influence decision making can be illuminating. Sometimes a person without a fancy job title might be a highly influential person. An example is that an administrative assistant might heavily influence the decisions of his or her boss.

networking

Developing contacts with influential people, including gaining their trust and confidence. Also, contacting friends and acquaintances and building systematically on these relationships to create a still-wider set of contacts that might lead to employment.

Networking also takes place with people inside and outside the organization who are not your managers. Developing contacts with influential people is likely to pay big career dividends. A standard procedure is to create a card or computer file of the people in your network, and update it frequently. To keep your network effective, it is necessary to contact people on your list periodically. Developing a network of influential people requires alertness and planning. You have to identify influential people, and then think of a sensible reason to contact them. Here are a few possibilities:

Send an e-mail message to a high-ranking manager, offering a money-saving or revenue-producing suggestion. A related tactic is to inform the person of something of significance you did that might lie directly in his or her area of interest. Social networking sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter can be used for networking with influential people. An influential person who joins such a site is usually open to making new contacts. (You may find, that many influential people are not willing to become your “friend.” You will, however, often be able to at least send them a message.)

Do a standout job as a member of a task force or committee that includes a high-ranking official.

Discuss your career plans with a neighbor who has an outstanding position.

Take the initiative to develop a friendship with an influential person who is a member of your athletic club, YMCA, YWCA, or place of worship.

Networking is so often used—and abused—that suggestions and guidelines for networking etiquette have emerged. A starting point is to be clear, concise, and specific when making requests of networking contacts. Explain, for example, that you want to become an industry specialist and would like to acquire specific information. Be frank about the amount of time you would want from the network member, such as 15 minutes per month of e-mail and telephone contact.

After making contact with a potential network member, explain the benefit this person is likely to derive from his or her association with you. Provide a benefit statement for interacting with you and helping you with your career.[19] Indicate specifically how this person might benefit from you being in his or her network. (If a person is in your network, you are also in that person’s network.) If the potential network member is more powerful than you, it is still possible to think of what benefit you might be able to provide. Two examples follow:

I would like to contact you a few times a year about career concerns. In return, I would be happy to help you identify some groups on LinkedIn that might be worthwhile for our company to contact.

In return for my receiving career advice from you from time to time, I would be happy to collect information for you about how people in my area perceive one of your products. I have lots of useful contacts in my community.

Avoid being a pest. Many influential people are bombarded with requests to be part of someone’s network, so ask for a modest amount of time and assistance. Good networking etiquette is to request a collaborative relationship in which you give as much as you get. The benefit statement just mentioned will place you in a collaborative relationship with the influential person.

Help Your Manager Succeed

The primary reason you are hired is to help your manager achieve the results necessary to succeed. Avoid an adversarial relationship with your manager. Also figure out both obvious and subtle ways of ensuring the manager’s success. One subtle way of increasing your manager’s chances for success is to help out that person when he or she is under attack from another department. One example would be to supply information to support your manager’s position on a controversial issue. Also keep in mind the cornerstone tactic of performing your job superbly. Your manager will then share in your success.

A specific relationship-building advantage of helping your manager succeed is that he or she is likely to develop loyalty toward you in such matters as recommending you for a bigger salary increase, and giving you a better performance evaluation. And during a downsizing, you are less likely to be tapped for job loss.

A contributor to helping your boss succeed is to listen carefully to what he or she expects from you.[20] When you have a clear image of what your boss expects, you know what the boss thinks is important for the work unit to suceed. For example, if you listen carefully to your boss’s plea for rapid deliveries, and you faciliate rapid deliveries, you are helping him or her succeed.

Conform to Your Manager’s Work Style

An advanced technique for establishing a good working relationship with a supervisor is to match your work style to his or her preferences and needs. A basic example is that your style might be to take a long time with an assignment in order to be thorough and avoid mistakes. Yet your boss is impatient and demands quick turnaround times for most assignments. To build a good working relationship with this supervisor, it would be helpful if you sacrificed some thoroughness for speed.

Leadership coach Miranda Wilcox advises professionals to be aware of a conflict in behavioral style with a manager. A frequent situation is that the superior might be detail-oriented and point out the tiniest imperfections in a subordinate’s work. In contrast, the subordinate might focus on the broader purpose of an assignment and be less conscious of small details.[21] Or the situation could be reversed. To build rapport with the superior, it would therefore be best to adapt toward being detail oriented or big-picture oriented.

Another aspect of work style highly relevant is preferences with respect to communication. Some managers prefer frequent e-mails and text messages, whereas others prefer phone calls and even face-to-face conversations. To work well with the manager, it is best to accept his or her communication style. Another relevant aspect of adapting to a manager’s communication style is frequency of updates on assignments. Some managers prefer almost daily progress reports, whereas others generally want to be informed about an assignment only when it is completed.

Don’t worry about preserving your individuality. When you are in charge, others will have to adapt to your preferred work style.

Understand Unwritten Boundaries

A person skilled at positive organizational politics is able to read unwritten rules about who has the authority to do what. According to psychologist Judith Sills, there exist unwritten boundaries, or dividing lines of behavior appropriate to different roles. Many workers struggle with office problems that are boundary issues in disguise. Sills observes that boundaries for office interactions are like the rope lanes in a swimming pool. The purpose of the ropes is to enhance safety, but they can be budged or even removed depending on need, skill, and circumstance.

Unwritten boundaries deal with such issues as when it is appropriate to correct your boss, how much anger to display, which influential people you can invite to a social engagement, and whose speech or appearance you can criticize. A person with an exaggerated sense of his or her worth may have trouble that a boundary exists at all, such as one woman who felt free to protest angrily when her boss changed something in her report.[22] Two other examples of unacceptable boundary crossing are (1) a man who told a vice president that his hairpiece looked phony and (2) a woman who told her boss that she needed to upgrade her information technology skills to be a credible leader.

An example of successful boundary crossing took place when an accounts receivable specialist sent an unsolicited e-mail to the director of marketing. The young worker said that he grew up in Mexico and would be happy to provide input for the company’s plans to penetrate the Mexican market. Although the accounts receivable worker was from outside of the marketing department, he was invited to participate in a focus group about expanding into the Mexican market.

Look for indicators as to whether boundaries can be crossed in your company. First, count the layers in your company’s organization structure. The more layers (or more hierarchical) the company, the less welcome boundary crossing is likely to be. Look for established border crossings. Observe where people of different rank in the company mix. Among the possibilities are the fitness center, the cafeteria, and after-hours drinks. Make your first attempts at border crossing at those places.[23]

Volunteer for Assignments

An easily implemented method of winning the approval of superiors is to become a “hand raiser.” By volunteering to take on assignments that do not fit neatly into your job description, you display the kind of initiative valued by employers. At the same time, you are practicing organizational citizenship behavior. Among the many possible activities to volunteer for are fundraising campaigns assigned to your company, project membership, and working overtime when most people prefer not to (e.g., on a Saturday in July). Task force and committee assignments are also useful for being noticed by key people in the organization. Offer to help coordinate a charity campaign such as the United Way. As a team member, volunteer to assume any leadership responsibility you think you can handle. If your team offers rotating leadership assignments, express an interest in taking your turn.

Flatter Influential People Sensibly

One of the most effective relationship builders is to flatter people sensibly and credibly. Despite the risk of being called obsequious or a cheap office politician, the flatterer wins.

Skill-Building Exercise 13-3

 

Flattering an Influential Person

One student plays the role of a newcomer to the organization who is seeking to advance, or at least to secure, his or her position in the organization. Another person plays the role of a vice president of marketing who is visiting the newcomer’s department. The company holds this vice president in high esteem because he or she recently spearheaded the introduction of a highly successful product, a smart mattress. The mattress adjusts to the temperature and firmness requirements of its user. In some models, the two sides of the mattress can have different settings to adapt to the heat and firmness preferences of two users sharing the same mattress.

The newcomer is asked to escort the vice president to another part of the building. The walk should take about five minutes, giving the newcomer an opportunity to work in some flattery. Fortunately, the newcomer has read the sales literature about the smart mattress, and has even tried out one in the factory showroom. Although the vice president is not naïve, he or she is proud of his or her accomplishments. The two role players conduct the five-minute walk, perhaps circling the classroom.

Observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of flattery.” The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.

A study indicated that even at the highest positions in business, flattery helps a person get ahead. Specifically, ingratiating yourself to the CEO, including flattery, was a major factor in receiving an appointment as a board of director at major companies. Not carefully monitoring (carefully scrutinizing) the CEO’s activities also worked in a person’s favor for obtaining a board appointment.[24] You might interpret not finding fault with a CEO to be a subtle form of flattery.

Flattery is likely to be effective because most people want to receive accolades, even if they are not completely warranted. People who pay us compliments are likely to be treated kindly in turn.[25] Recent evidence supports the idea that constructive compliments are not overblown. Descriptions of what went right are more effective than evaluative phrases, such as “magnificent” or “extraordinary.” An effective, general-purpose piece of flattery is to tell another person that you are impressed by something he or she accomplished. Rather than telling an influential person that he or she is a genius, you might say to a manager after a meeting:[26] “Everyone in the meeting was listening so attentively when you gave your report. And the industry statistics you found really drove home the point.”

Another way of flattering somebody is to listen attentively. If you actively listen to the other person, he or she will feel flattered. The person might think, “What I have to say is valuable. This person really cares about what I have to offer.” Flattery can also take the form of quoting another person or referring to something he or she said to you earlier.

During the next two weeks, try flattering an influential person. In the interim, do Skill-Building Exercise 13-3.

Use Information Power

Power accrues to those who control vital information. At the same time, being a source of useful information will help you build constructive working relationships with managers. You will be relied on as an important contributor. Controlling vital information includes knowing how to gain access to useful information that others do not know how to retrieve. Many workers are aware of the mechanics of using the Internet, but fewer have the skills to use the Internet to retrieve commercially useful information. During a tight labor market, for example, human resource specialists can acquire power if they know how to use the Internet to find talented people who might want to join the company. These specialists have knowledge beyond using commercially available Internet recruiting services.

Information power is closely related to expert power, which refers to having valuable expertise. If your expertise or skill is in high demand at the moment, power will flow in your direction. Currently, an important type of expert power is being able to use social networking sites to gain publicity for products (including creating a buzz for the product) and to recruit employees.

Appear Cool Under Pressure

Showing signs of panic generally hurts your reputation with influential people. In contrast, appearing to be in emotional control when things around you are falling apart helps convey the impression that you are worthy of additional responsibility. Being cool under pressure is part of emotional stability, and it is a key leadership characteristic. Coolness under pressure is often displayed during a crisis such as a flood, hurricane, or fire. The manager who can get the operation, including store, factory, hospital, or call center, back and running within a week is perceived to work extraordinarily well under pressure. Many managers at McDonald’s and Walmart enhanced their relationship with corporate executives because they responded so quickly and positively to the ravages of Hurricane Katrina. Locating and aiding displaced employees were part of the heroic efforts of these managers.

Laugh at Your Manager’s Humor

When you indicate by your laughter that you appreciate your manager’s sense of humor, it helps establish rapport between the two of you. An indicator of good two-way communication between people is that the two parties comprehend each other’s subtle points. Most humor in the workplace deals with subtle meanings about work-related topics. To implement the tactic of laughing at your manager’s jokes, do not worry excessively about having heard the joke before.

Express Constructive Disagreement

At one time the office politician thought an effective way of pleasing the boss was to be a “yes-person,” as mentioned earlier. A more intelligent tactic in the modern business world is to be ready to disagree in a constructive manner when you sincerely believe that the boss is wrong. In the long run, you will probably earn more respect than if you agree with the boss just to please him or her. Constructive disagreement is based on a careful analysis of the situation and is also tactful.

The right way to disagree means not putting your manager in a corner or embarrassing your manager by confronting him or her loudly or in public. If you disagree with your boss, use carefully worded, inoffensive statements. In this way, you minimize the chances of a confrontation or hostile reaction. Remember the smart mattress mentioned in Skill-Building Exercise 13-3? Suppose the marketing vice president claims that the mattress is geared exclusively toward the senior citizen market, and you disagree. You might say, “I think that marketing our smart mattress to seniors is a breakthrough. Yet, I also see some other possibilities. There are loads of cold-sensitive young people who want a heated mattress. Also, a lot of young people with athletic injuries or orthopedic problems would welcome an adjustable mattress. Does my thinking make any sense?”

The reason constructive disagreement helps you build a good relationship with most managers is that the boss comes to respect your job knowledge and your integrity; however, if you are working with a very insecure boss, he or she may be taken aback by disagreement. In that case, you have to be extra tactful in expressing disagreement.

Present a Clear Picture of Your Accomplishments

“What have you done for me lately?” is a question on the minds of many managers. To the extent that you can clearly document what you have accomplished recently, as well as in the past, you are therefore likely to enhance your relationship with your manager. You can help your manager better understand your contributions by explaining exactly what work you are doing, problems you are solving, and the successes you are attaining. Document legitimately what you have accomplished, and communicate it in a factual, matter-of-fact manner. The occasional FYI e-mail provides useful documentation, provided you do not appear to be bragging.[27] A collection agent might report to her boss, “In March, I collected an average of $310 from my block of delinquent accounts. So far, I have collected at least something from 25 out of the 31 accounts I am currently assigned. We should be getting something from three more of these delinquent accounts.”

Building Relationships with Coworkers and Other Work Associates

Learning Objective 4

Another strategy for increasing your power is to form alliances with coworkers and other work associates. You need the support of these people to get your work accomplished. Also, when you are being considered for promotion, coworkers and other work associates may be asked their opinion of you. Under a peer-evaluation system, the opinion of coworkers about your performance counts heavily. Long-term research conducted by Tom Rath of the Gallup Organization with many thousands of employees emphasizes the contribution of friendships and alliances in the workplace. Rath concludes that employees who have a best friend in the office are more productive and more likely to have positive interactions with customers, share ideas, and stay longer on the job. Also, many workers succeed or fail based on the support and involvement of best friends.[29] (The term best appears to imply that the contact is not simply an acquaintance or someone on your contact list on a social networking Web site.)

Another perspective on the importance of cooperation in the workplace is that cooperation enhances happiness and satisfaction. Long-term research by the University of Haifa psychology professor Richard Schuster says that it is natural for humans, as well as other animals, to want to cooperate. Schuster posits that evolution has prodded us toward enjoying the company of other people, and toward cooperation. He adds that social behavior is its own reward.[30]

Figure 13-4 lists eight strategies and techniques for developing good interpersonal relationships at or below your level. The information about developing teamwork skills presented in Chapter 6 is also relevant here.

Maintain Honest and Open Relationships

Although being honest may appear to contradict organizational politics, it is representative of the nature of positive politics. Openness and honesty also helps build trust among coworkers. Giving coworkers frank but tactful answers to their requests for your opinion is one useful way of developing open relationships. Assume that a coworker asks your opinion of an e-mail he intends to send to his supervisor. As you read it, you find it somewhat incoherent and filled with spelling and grammatical errors. An honest response to this message might be: “I think your idea is a good one. But I think your e-mail needs more work before that idea comes across clearly.”

Accurately expressing your feelings, whether positive or negative, also leads to constructive relationships. If you have been singled out for good performance, let other team members know that you are happy and proud. If you arrive at work upset over a personal problem and appear obviously fatigued, you can expect some reaction. A coworker might say, “What seems to be the problem? Is everything all right?” A dishonest reply would be “Everything is fine.” In addition to making an obviously untrue statement, you would also be perceived as rejecting the person who asked the question. If you prefer not to discuss your problem, an honest response would be, “Thanks for your interest. I am facing some problems today, but I think things will work out.”

1. Maintain honest and open relationships.

2. Make others feel important.

3. Be diplomatic.

4. Exchange favors.

5. Ask for advice.

6. Share constructive gossip.

7. Minimize microinequities.

8. Follow group norms.

Figure 13-4 Strategies and Tactics for Developing Relationships with Coworkers and Other Work Associates

Another advantage of honest and open relationships is that they foster collaboration, which improves teamwork and organizational performance. Almost any successful workplace has high levels of collaboration among employees, such as the spirit of teamwork that exists at online retailer Zappos Inc. (known primarily for shoes).

One of the swiftest ways of breaking down honest and open relationships with coworkers is to backstab—an attempt to discredit by underhanded means, such as innuendo, accusation, or the like. The backstabber will pretend to be your friend, but will say something negative behind your back in an attempt to discredit you. For example, your rival might say to the manager, “I’m worried about the health of          . She seems so preoccupied that it’s difficult to get her attention to talk about any work problems.” During times of less job security, including downsizings due to mergers, workers are more likely to say negative things about coworkers to gain advantage. Also, when a promotion is at stake, coworkers are more likely to say negative things about each other to a common boss.[31]

backstab

An attempt to discredit by underhanded means, such as innuendo, accusation, or the like.

Make Others Feel Important

A fundamental principle of fostering good relationships with coworkers and others is to make them feel important. Although the leader has the primary responsibility for satisfying this recognition need, coworkers also play a key role. One approach to making a coworker feel important would be to bring a notable accomplishment of his or hers to the attention of the group. Investing a small amount of time in recognizing a coworker can pay large dividends in terms of cultivating an ally. Expressing an interest in the work of others helps them feel important. A basic way to accomplish this end is to ask other employees questions that express an interest in their work, such as the following:

How is your work going?

How does the company use output from your department?

How did you establish all the contacts you did to be so successful in sales?

How did you develop the skills to do your job?

Expressing an interest in the work of others is also an effective tactic because so many people are self-centered. They are eager to talk about their own work, but rarely pause to express a genuine interest in others. Expressing an interest in the work of others is also effective because it is a form of recognition.

Self-Assessment Quiz 13-3

gives you an opportunity to think about your tendencies toward making others feel important.

Be Diplomatic

Despite all that has been said about the importance of openness and honesty in building relationships, most people fail to be convinced. Their egos are too tender to accept the raw truth when faced with disapproval of their thoughts or actions. Diplomacy is still an essential part of governmental and office politics. Translated into action, diplomacy often means finding the right phrase to convey disapproval, disagreement, or discontent. Here is an example of a delicate situation and the diplomatic phrase used to handle it.

During a staff meeting, a coworker suggests that the entire group schedule a weekend retreat to formulate a strategic plan for the department. The boss looks around the room to gauge the reactions of others to the proposal. You want to say: “What a stupid idea. Who needs to ruin an entire weekend to do something we could easily accomplish on a workday afternoon?” The diplomatic response is: “I’ve heard that retreats sometimes work, but would spending that much time on the strategic plan be cost effective? Maybe we could work on the plan during one long meeting. If we don’t get the planning accomplished in that time frame, we could then consider the offsite.”

Exchange Favors

An important part of human interaction on and off the job is to reciprocate with others, thereby enhancing cooperation. Exchanging favors with others can make it easier for

Self-Assessment Quiz 13-3
 

How Important Do I Make People Feel?

Directions:

Indicate how frequently you act (or would act if the situation presented itself) in the ways indicated ahead: Very Infrequently (VI); Infrequently (I); Sometimes (S); Frequently (F); Very Frequently (VF). Circle the number underneath the column that best fits your answer.

No.

1

2

3

4

5

5

4

3

2

1

1

2

3

4

5

1

2

3

4

5

5

4

3

2

1

1

2

3

4

5

1

2

3

4

5

5

4

3

2

1

1

2

3

4

5

5

4

3

2

1

Total Score

VI

I

S

F

VF

1. I do my best to correctly pronounce a coworker’s name.

2. I avoid letting other people’s egos get too big.

3. I brag to others about the accomplishments of my coworkers.

4. I recognize the birthdays of friends in a tangible way.

5. It makes me anxious to listen to others brag about their accomplishments.

6. After hearing that a friend has done something outstanding, I shake his or her hand.

7. If a friend or coworker recently received a degree or certificate, I would offer my congratulations.

8. If a friend or coworker finished second in a contest, I would inquire why he or she did not finish first.

9. If a coworker showed me how to do something, I would compliment that person’s skill.

10. When a coworker starts bragging about a family member’s accomplishments, I do not respond.

Scoring and Interpretation:

Total the numbers corresponding to your answers. Scoring 40 to 50 points suggests that you typically make people feel important; 16 to 39 points suggests that you have a moderate tendency toward making others feel important; 10 to 15 points suggests that you need to develop skill in making others feel important. Study this chapter carefully.

people to accomplish their work because they are able to call on assistance when needed. The adept political player performs a favor for another employee without asking a favor in return. The favor is then cashed in when a favor is needed. Several examples of workday exchanges are as follows:

A paralegal agrees to help another overburdened paralegal in the same law office, knowing that the other paralegal will reciprocate if needed in the future.

A credit manager agrees to expedite a credit application for a sales representative. In reciprocation, the sales rep agrees not to commit the company to a delivery date on the next sale until the customer’s credit has been evaluated.

An assistant restaurant manager agrees to substitute for another assistant manager on New Year’s Eve. A month later, the first person asks the second to take over her shift so that she can get away for the weekend.

Ask for Advice

Asking advice on technical and professional topics is a good way of building relationships with other employees. Asking for advice from another person—someone whose job does not require giving it—will usually be perceived as a compliment. Asking advice transmits the message, “I trust your judgment enough to ask your opinion on something important to me.” You are also saying, “I trust you enough to think that the advice you give me will be in my best interest.” Asking advice is also a subtle form of flattery because it shows that you value the person’s judgment.

To avoid hard feelings, inform the person whose advice you are seeking that his or her opinion will not necessarily be binding. A request for advice might be prefaced with a comment such as, “I would like your opinion on a problem facing me. But I can’t guarantee that I’ll be in a position to act on it.” As with any other political tactic, asking for advice must be done in moderation. Too much advice asking can make you appear to be indecisive or a pest.

Share Constructive Gossip

An effective way of building workplace relationships is to share constructive gossip with others. Gossip has been defined in many ways, but as used here refers to talk about other people, usually assumed to be based on fact.[32] Gossip serves as a socializing force because it is a mode of intimate relationships for many employees. Workers get close to each other through the vehicle of gossip. It also serves as the lifeblood of personal relationships on the job. If you are the person supplying the gossip, people will develop positive attitudes toward you. Constructive gossip is unofficial information that supports others, is based on truth, and respects confidential information. Given these restrictions, here are two examples of positive gossip:

constructive gossip

Unofficial information that supports others, is based on truth, and excepts confidential information.

“I heard that business is really picking up. If this week is any example, the company’s profits for the quarter will far exceed expectations.”

“I heard yesterday that the director of public relations just got engaged to a cool guy she met on a cruise.”

Minimize Microinequities

A potent way of alienating coworkers is to snub them, or put them down, in a small way without being aware of your behavior. A microinequity is a small, semiconscious message we send with a powerful impact on the receiver. A microinequity might also be considered a subtle slight. The inequity might take the form of ignoring another person, a snub, or a sarcastic comment. Understanding microinequities can lead to changes in one-on-one relationships that may profoundly irritate others.[33]

microinequity

A small, semiconscious message we send with a powerful impact on the receiver.

Imagine that you are in line in the company cafeteria with three coworkers. You turn around and notice an old friend from school who is visiting the company. Next, you introduce your old friend to two of the coworkers with you, but not the third. That coworker is likely to feel crushed and irritated, and it will take you awhile to patch your relationship. Looking at a microinequity from the standpoint of the receiver, a work associate might say to you, “Some computer-illiterate person sent me an e-mail this morning without the attachment he said was there.” You respond, “Excuse me, but that computer-illiterate person was me.”

To overcome giving microinequities, it is important to think through the consequences of what you are doing and saying before taking action. In the cafeteria situation described earlier, you might say to yourself, “Here comes time for an introduction, and this is not easy for me. I will remember to introduce everybody to my old friend.”

Follow Group Norms

A summary principle to follow in getting along with coworkers is to heed group norms, the unwritten set of expectations for group members. Group norms also take the form of social cues about how to act, and they therefore contribute to the organizational culture. Representative group norms include the following: (1) help coworkers with problems if you have the right expertise, (2) do not wear formal business attire on casual dress days, (3) have lunch with your coworkers at least once a week, (4) do not complain to the boss about a coworker unless his or her negative behavior is outrageously bad, (5) do not take a sick day unless you are really sick, (6) take your turn in bringing snacks to a meeting at least once a month, and (7) side with your coworkers rather than management when there is a dispute between the two groups.

group norms

The unwritten set of expectations for group members.

If you do not deviate too far from these norms, the group will accept much of your behavior. If you do deviate too far, you will be subject to much rejection and therefore lose some of your power base. Yet if you conform too closely to group norms, higher

Image Source/Corbis Images

level management may perceive you as unable to identify with management. Employees are sometimes blocked from moving up the ladder because they are regarded as “one of the gang.”

Some of the relationship building described in the previous seven strategies and tactics is now being done on company social networking sites. These sites are being used to connect employees who have limited opportunity to meet face-to-face, or who simply prefer the Internet for most of their social interactions. Often the company social networking sites are supplemented with Web sites such as Facebook and Twitter because so many employees from the same firm might be members. For many workers, social networks provide a desirable way of communicating because they include photos, videos, and personal information like hobbies and music preferences, all of which are good for relationship building.

Skill-Building Exercise 13-4 provides an opportunity to practice several of the techniques for building interpersonal relationships with coworkers and other work associates.

The accompanying Job-Oriented Interpersonal Skills in Action box illustrates many of the points made so far about developing constructive workplace relationships.

Avoiding Political Blunders

Learning Objective 5

A strategy for not losing whatever power you have accumulated is to refrain from making power-eroding blunders. Committing these politically insensitive acts can also prevent you from attaining power. Self-Assessment Quiz 13-4 will get you started thinking about blunders. Several leading blunders are described in the quiz.

Criticizing your manager in a public forum. The oldest saw in human relations is to “praise in public and criticize in private.” Yet in the passion of the moment, you may still surrender to the irresistible impulse to criticize your manager publicly. As a result, the manager will harbor resentment toward you and perhaps block your chances for advancement.

Bypassing the manager. Many people believe that because most organizations are more democratic today, it is not important to respect the layers of authority (the chain of command). In reality, following etiquette is highly valued in most firms. Going around the manager to resolve a problem is therefore hazardous. You might be able to accomplish the bypass, but your career could be damaged and your recourses limited. It is much better to work out differences with your manager using standard methods of resolving conflict.

Displaying disloyalty. Being disloyal to your organization is a basic political blunder. Making it known that you are looking for a position elsewhere is the best-known form of disloyalty. Criticizing your company in public settings, praising the high quality of competitors’ products, and writing angry internal e-mail messages about your company are others. You may not get fired, but overt signs of disloyalty may place you in permanent disfavor.
Skill-Building Exercise 13-4

 

Getting Along with Coworkers Role-Play
An inventory auditor in a department store chain decides to take action aimed at getting along better with coworkers. In each of the following two scenarios, one person plays the role of the inventory auditor. Another person plays the role of an employee whom the auditor is attempting to cultivate.
Scenario 1: Exchanging Favors
The auditor decides to strike a bargain with a store associate. (The role player decides what this exchange of favors should be.) Unknown to the auditor, the store associate is concerned about an inventory audit because he or she is worried about being accused of stealing merchandise.
Scenario 2: Expressing an Interest in Their Work
The auditor decides to express an interest in a tech fixer because he or she can be a valuable ally when conducting an inventory audit. The inventory audit is computerized, and the appropriate software is confusing and crashes frequently. The tech fixer has a heavy workload and is not prone toward small talk, but he or she does get excited talking about information technology.
For both scenarios, observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of human relations techniques.” The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.
After these scenarios have been completed, the class might discuss favors they have exchanged on the job that helped build relationships. Strive for at least five students to present examples of exchanges that enhanced their working relationships.

Job-Oriented Interpersonal Skills in Action
Ed Rosenfeld, CEO of Steve Madden Ltd., Focuses on Congenial Relationships
At age 33, Ed Rosenfeld was appointed as CEO of the popular shoe and accessories retailer and manufacturer, Steve Madden Ltd. Rosenfeld had worked with founder Steve Madden as a client. Madden invited him to join the firm as the executive vice president of strategic planning and finance because of his excellent work and consistently good attitude. Raised in Michigan and an alumni of Amherst College, Rosenfeld learned retailing in the family department store. He acquired more in-depth knowledge about retailing as an investment banker at Peter J. Solomon Company.
Madden once described Rosenfeld as having the demeanor of a “warm bath.” A friend of Rosenfeld posted a comment saying she was fortunate enough to know him personally. “He is such an amazing, thoughtful man. He deserves so much credit for everything he does, and for staying down-to-earth while doing it.”
When Rosenfeld visits a company store or factory, he smiles frequently, greets almost every employee he meets by name, and pauses to make small talk. He is quick to share credit when discussing the impressive success of the company with Wall Street analysts. In 2012, he was explaining the success of the company during a challenging retail environment. He said that the solid performance was “. . . a testament to the power of our brands, talent of Steve (the founder) and his design team, and the enduring strength of our business model.”
Part of Rosenfeld’s charm has been attributed to his use of self-effacing humor and friendliness. When asked about his greatest challenge as a young CEO of a major corporation, he responded, “Convincing people that I didn’t steal my business cards from the real CEO of Steve Madden.” When asked about the best part of his job, Rosenfeld said, “Working with lots of creative people.” When asked about the worst part, he said, “Working with lots of creative people.”
Rosenfeld’s enthusiasm for the present and future of his financially successful company helps to build a spirit of optimism among employees. He mentioned at one point that the company’s new handbag business is “on fire.” He also talks about how effectively his company implements the creative marketing ideas developed by his staff.
Questions

A In what way does Rosenfeld display positive political skills?

B What does this brief sketch of Rosenfeld suggest about the relationship between company financial success and the personality of the CEO?

Source: Original story created from facts in the following sources: “Steve Madden: Ed Rosenfeld,” Question(NY)aire (http://questionnyaire.blogspot.com/2010/04/steve-madden-ed-rosenfeld.html), April 9, 2010, pp. 1–3; “10 Most Powerful CEOs Under 40,” http://www.therichest.org, April 5, 2011, p. 1; “Handbags ‘On Fire’ at Steve Madden?” http://www.accessoriesmagazine.com, July 27, 2012, pp. 1: Steven Madden’s CEO Discusses Q2 2012 Results—Earnings Call Transcript,” Seeking Alpha (http://seekingalpha.com), July 26, 2012, pp. 2–3; “40 under 40: The Merchant, Ed Rosenfeld, Chairman and CEO, Steven Madden,” Fortune, November 1, 2010. p. 116.

Self-Assessment Quiz 13-4

 

The Blunder Quiz
Directions:
Check whether you agree or disagree with the following statements.

7

1. Agree

1. Disagree

1. 1. It’s fine to criticize your manager in a meeting as long as the criticism is valid.

11 12

1. 2. If I objected to a decision made by top management, I would send a company-wide e-mail explaining my objection.

14 15

1. 3. I am willing to insult any coworker if the insult is deserved.

17 18

1. 4. I see no problem in using competitors’ products or services and letting my superiors know about it.

20 21

1. 5. If I thought the CEO of my company were way overpaid, I would send him or her an e-mail making my opinion known.

23 24

1. 6. Never bother with company-sponsored social events, such as holiday parties, unless you are really interested.

26 27

1. 7. I would not attend a company social function if I had the chance to attend another social activity of more interest to me.

29 30

1. 8. I am very open about passing along confidential information.

32 33

1. 9. I openly brag (or would brag) about using a competitive product or service (such as an Apple employee praising his or her Blackberry smartphone).

35 36

1. 10. I avoid any deliberate attempt to please or impress coworkers or superiors.

38

39

1.

Scoring and Interpretation:
The greater the number of statements you agree with, the more prone you are to political blunders that can damage your interpersonal relationships and your career. You need to raise your awareness level of blunders on the job.

Being a pest. Common wisdom suggests that diligently pressing for one’s demands is the path to success. This may be true up to a point, but when assertiveness is used too often it becomes annoying to many people. The overpersistent person comes to be perceived as a pest, and this constitutes a serious political blunder. An example of being a pest would be asking your manager every month when you are going to receive the raise you deserve.

Being a chronic complainer. We all have a right to express differences of opinion, and to make suggestions for improvement. Yet the chronic complainer winds up alientating superiors as well as coworkers, and will often be perceived as having a toxic personality. Expressing the occasional constructive disagreement is more effective than frequently expressing discontent with the actions of others. In the words of tech blogger Steve Tobak, “. . . those who do all the complaining are the ones who make the workplace a living hell, not the people or stuff they are always complaining about.”[34]

Being (or being perceived as) a poor team player. An employee is expected to be a good team player in almost all organizations because cooperation makes collective effort possible. If you are a poor team player, or are perceived as such, your chances for promotion will diminish because you will be recognized as having poor interpersonal skills. Among the ways to be perceived as a poor team player are to engage in social loafing, miss many department meetings, take too much credit for group accomplishments, and minimize your interactions with coworkers. In short, if you ignore all the advice about team play presented in Chapter 6, you will be committing a political blunder.

Burning your bridges. A potent political blunder is to create ill will among former employers or people who have helped you in the past. The most common form of bridge burning occurs when a person departs from an organization. A person who leaves involuntarily is especially apt to express anger toward those responsible for the dismissal. Venting your anger may give a temporary boost to your emotional wellbeing, but it can be detrimental in the long run.

Indiscreet behavior in private life. Employees are representatives of the company, so their behavior off the job is considered to contribute to their performance—particularly for managers, supervisors, and professionals with visible jobs. Embarrassing the company will often lead to dismissal, combined with a negative reputation that will be difficult to shake for purposes of future employment. Indiscreet behavior in private life that can lead to dismissal includes being caught shoplifting, a citation for drunk driving, being arrested for a drug offense, charges of sexual harassment or rape, and assault and battery.

Making derogatory comments about your employer on the Internet. Large numbers of employees in recent years have been reprimanded or fired because they wrote nasty comments about their company on a blog or social networking site. (One such comment on Twitter: “Our CEO s hould hire a bodyguard. He rakes in millions yet fires thousands.”) As we all know, a rant about your company or boss on a social networking site becomes a permanent record, and will almost inevitably be referred to a company executive. Even if you are not fired or severely reprimanded for your public display of hostility, you will have lost considerable political capital—even if your rant is merited.

If you want to overcome having committed a blunder, avoid defensiveness. Demonstrate that you are more interested in recovering from the blunder than in trying to share the blame for what happened. Focus on solutions to the problem rather than faultfinding. Suppose that you have been too critical of your team leader in a recent team meeting. Explain that your attempts to be constructively critical backfired and that you will choose your words more carefully in the future.

Another way to patch up a blunder is to stay poised. Admit that you made the mistake and apologize, but don’t act or feel inferior. Mistakes are inevitable in a competitive work environment. Avoid looking sad and distraught. Instead, maintain eye contact with people when you describe your blunder.

Concept Review and Reinforcement
Key Terms

organizational politics 301

power 301

social intelligence 304

impression management 304

business etiquette 307

networking 311

backstab 317

constructive gossip 319

microinequity 319

group norms 319

Summary

Positive political tactics help build good interpersonal relationships. Organizational politics refers to gaining power through any means other than merit or luck. Power refers to the ability or potential to control anything of value and influence decisions. Organizational politics can also be regarded from the standpoint of interpersonal relationships and sizing up the environment. Political skill is related to awareness of one’s surroundings, emotional and social intelligence, and relationship building with the leader.

Impression management is one aspect of organizational politics. Managing the impression you create encompasses a wide range of behaviors designed to create a positive influence on work associates, including displaying organizational citizenship behavior, building trust and confidence, being visible and creating a strong presence, minimizing being a yes-person, and creating a healthy image. Also, attempt to be authentic, be aware that political skill is needed to manage one’s impression, and avoid creating a negative impression.

A major component of managing the impression you create is business etiquette. The general principle of etiquette is to be considerate of the feelings of work associates, and to make others feel good. Areas of business etiquette include the following: work behavior and clothing, introductions, relationships between men and women and between people of different ages, working in a cubicle or open seating arrangement, cross-cultural relations, and interaction with people with disabilities. (Etiquette related to the digital world was covered in Chapter 5.)

Political strategies and tactics for building relationships with managers and other key people include networking with influential people, helping your manager succeed, conforming to your manager’s work style, understanding unwritten boundaries, volunteering for assignments, flattering influential people sensibly, using information power, admitting mistakes, appearing cool under pressure, laughing at your manager’s humor, expressing constructive disagreement, and presenting a clear picture of your accomplishments.

Political strategies and tactics for developing relationships with coworkers and other work associates include maintaining honest and open relationships, making others feel important, being diplomatic, exchanging favors, asking for advice, sharing constructive gossip, minimizing microinequities, and following group norms.

A strategy for not losing whatever power you have accumulated is to refrain from making political blunders. Political blunders can also prevent you from attaining power. Representative blunders include criticizing your manager publicly, bypassing your manager, displaying disloyalty, being a pest, being a chronic complainer, being a poor team player and burning your bridges, indiscreet behavior in private life, and making derogatory comments about your employer on the Internet. If you want to make up for a blunder, avoid defensiveness and stay poised.

Questions for Discussion and Review

To what extent are office politics skills important for a person who is technically competent and hardworking?

In what way might organizational citizenship behavior be part of playing office politics?

Remember the leader–member exchange theory from Chapter 10 about leadership? What steps could you take to become part of your boss’s in-group?

It has often been observed that building relationships with people increases in importance at higher levels of management responsibility. Why might this be true?

Identify three jobs in which you think practicing good business etiquette would be extremely important.

It has been observed that corporate employees who work mostly from their homes or other remote locations often put more effort into building their networks than people who work in a traditional office. Why might this be true?

It has been said that although most businesspeople can see through flattery, the technique still works. How would you explain this observation?

Give an example of a microinequity that you have been subjected to, or that you observed happen to another person. Explain why the incident is a microinequity.

In what way might being politically incorrect be a political blunder?

Why might the study of organizational politics seem more relevant to people with at least several years of work experience than to career beginners?

The Web Corner

http://career-advice.monster.com

(Building a solid realtionship with your boss)

http://www.ExecutivePlanet.com

(Guide to international business culture and etiquette in more than 35 countries)

http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10-things/10-workplace-blunders-to-avoid-at-all-costs/

(10 workplace blunders to avoid at all cost)

Internet Skill Builder: Sharpening Your Compliments
An important part of being a skilled office politician, as well as a government one, is to compliment people effectively. The information about flattery contained in the chapter gave you some ideas about how to use compliments effectively. Search the Internet for a few more useful suggestions for giving compliments to others. Try out this week the best idea you find in this skill-building assignment. Observe the results of your compliment so that you can refine your technique.Developing Your Human Relations Skills

Interpersonal Relations Case 13.1

The Talkative Boss

Suzanne, a claims adjuster, looked up from her desk as she saw her boss, Aaron, approaching. Suzanne muttered to herself, “I hope Aaron has a brief question related to my job. I don’t have time to talk with him this morning. If I don’t get this complicated claim processed this morning, the sales department will be screaming at me.”

“Hi Suzanne,” said Aaron. “It looks like another beautiful day here in Monterey. There’s not a cloud in the sky. It’s criminal to be inside on such a nice day. My family and I would love to be down at the beach. How are things going for you today?”

“Nothing too bad is happening,” said Suzanne. “I’ll be caught up with my work soon. I’m on a rush job right now. The sales department is pushing me to get this complicated claim finished by noon today.”

“Suzanne, don’t let the sales department hassle you. They want everything right away. Somehow the sales department doesn’t realize that claims adjusting takes a lot of painful attention to detail. Better late than lousy, I always say.”

“I don’t disagree with you, Aaron. It’s just that not getting a claim processed on time makes me a little nervous. We could lose a big customer by being late on paying this claim.”

“Don’t be so uptight, Suzanne. You’re too young for high blood pressure or a coronary,” responded Aaron.

Aaron proceeded to engage Suzanne in general conversation for another 15 minutes before he received a text message from his assistant. “Sorry we don’t have enough time to finish our business,” said Aaron as he left Suzanne’s cubicle.

Suzanne then worked through her lunch hour and turned in her claims report one hour late. Perplexed, she telephoned Lori, a coworker in another department, and asked if she would be able to meet on a bench outside the office building after work for a few minutes.

After the two were comfortably seated, Suzanne lamented to Lori: “I just don’t know what to do about Aaron. He’s gobbling up my time. At least three days a week he sits in front of my desk chatting for fifteen minutes about nothing in particular. If I look like I want him to leave, he becomes annoyed. Once when I tried to politely get Aaron away from my desk, he told me that our conference was not over until he said it was.”

“What really worries me is that Aaron sometimes chastises me for being late with my work, when it is he who is making me late. The whole thing has become a ridiculous problem. Any suggestions?”

Case Questions

To what extent should Suzanne be so concerned about Aaron taking up her time?

What should Suzanne do to preserve her relationship with her boss, yet still get her work accomplished on time?

Should Suzanne work extra hours to make up for the time she loses in small talk with Aaron?

What specific techniques about boss relationships apply to this case?

Interpersonal Skills Role-Play

Dealing with a Talkative Boss

One student plays the role of Suzanne, who is facing a heavy workload today, triggered by the crash of a passenger bus that resulted in a ten-vehicle pile up. She is slashing away at her computer while dealing with phone calls at the same time. Her boss, Aaron, approaches her cubicle with a smile on his face. He initiates the conversation with, “Busy day, isn’t it? It could drive you crazy if you let it. The bus accident could be costly, but it’s not the end of the world. Mind if I sit down and chat for a few moments?”

Suzanne’s intent is to deal with the emergency the best she can, whereas Aaron wants to escape some of the pressures for a few minutes. He cannot understand why Suzanne is so stressed about the situation. Run the role-play for about six minutes, while other class members observe the interactions and later provide feedback about the interpersonal skills displayed by Suzanne in relation to his interaction with Aaron. Comment on her ability to be assertive and tactful at the same time. Also, observe the interpersonal skills that Aaron displays.

Observers rate the role players on two dimensions, using a 1-to-5 scale from very poor (1) to very good (5). One dimension is “effective use of human relations techniques.” The second dimension is “acting ability.” A few observers might voluntarily provide feedback to the role players in terms of sharing their ratings and observations. The course instructor might also provide feedback.

Interpersonal Relations Case 13.2

The Unpopular Office Administrator

While at a shopping mall one day, you run into Max, a former classmate of yours. Happy to see him, you comment, “Max, good to see you. How are things going? Last I heard you were promoted from administrative assistant to office administrator, like an office supervisor. How do you like your new job?”

Max answers: “Thanks for asking. That’s true. I was promoted to office administrator. I work in a different department now. My boss is the director of corporate communications. The job is exciting. I’m in on a lot of important happenings, and I get to meet a lot of important people. But things in the office aren’t going as well as I would like.”

Your curiosity aroused, you ask: “What do you mean?”

Max continues: “I don’t think the other workers in the office care too much for me. Even though I am basically the office supervisor, I feel kind of left out of things. I’m almost never asked to join the ‘guys’ for lunch or coffee breaks. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Sometimes I think it could be jealousy over my job. But that isn’t such a plausible reason. Being an office administrator isn’t that impressive. Also, I’m a few years older than most of the workers in the office. They should be glad to see that experience and hard work pay off.

“Sometimes I feel like the guy in those TV ads who loses out with friends because he needs breath freshener. That certainly isn’t the case with me. I don’t recall having a problem making friends either at school or in my other jobs.

“If you come up with any ideas that might help me, please let me know. I would feel awkward asking the othe people in the office why they don’t like me. After all, I am the office administrator.”

Case Questions

What should Max do (if anything) to discover what might be wrong?

What general suggestions do you have as to how Max might become better accepted by the group?

References

“‘More than Coffee Chats and Emails’: Sustainable Networking Requires Effort, Authenticity,” Knowledge@Wharton (http://knowledge.whyarton.upenn), December 5, 2012, pp. 1–2.

Cited in Linda Noeth, “All those Unwritten Rules of the Office Also Guide Policy,” Democrat and Chronicle, February 8, 2009, p. 2E.

Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (New York: Bantam, 2006); Carol Hymowitz, “Business is Personal, So Managers Need to Harness Emotions,” The Wall Street Journal, November 13, 2006, p. B1.

Robyn L. Brouer, Allison Duke, Darren C. Treadway, and Gerald R. Ferris, “The Moderating Effect of Political Skill on the Demographic Dissimilarity–Leader-Member Exchange Quality Relationship,” Leadership Quarterly, April 2009, pp. 61–69.

Amos Drory and Nurit Zaidman, “The Politics of Impression Management in Organizations: Contextual Effects,” in Eran Vigoda-Gadot and Amos Drory, eds., Handbook of Organizational Politics (Northampton, MA: Edward Elgar, 2006), p. 75.

Andrew J. DuBrin, Impression Management in the Workplace: Research, Theory, and Practice (New York: Routledge, 2011), p. 73.

Nathan P. Podsakoff, Steven W. Whiting, Philip M. Podaskoff, and Brian D. Blume, “Individual- and Organizational-Level Consequences of Organizational Citizenship Behaviors: A Meta-Analysis,” Journal of Applied Psychology, January 2009, pp. 122–141.

Daniel S. Whitman, David L. Van Body, and Chockalingam Viswesvaran, “Satisfaction, Citizenship Behaviors, and Performance in Work Units: A Meta-Analysis of Collective Construct Relations,” Personnel Psychology, Spring 2010, pp. 41–81.

Terry Bragg, “Nine Strategies for Successfully Playing Office Politics,” http://www.tbragg.addr.com, July 15, 2005, p. 1.

Tamara E. Holmes, “Admitting When You’re Wrong,” Black Enterprise, May 2007, p. 124.

“Get Rid of ‘Yes Men,’” Manager’s Edge, Special Bulletin, Spring 2006, p. 2.

William L. Gardner III, “Lessons in Organizational Dramaturgy: The Art of Impression Management,” Organizational Dynamics, Summer 1992, p. 45.

Kenneth J. Harris, K. Michele Kacmar, Suzanne Zivnuska, and Jason D. Shaw, “The Impact of Political Skill on Impression Management Effectiveness,” Journal of Applied Psychology, January 2007, pp. 278–285.

Eliza Browning, “Business Etiquette: 5 Rules that Matter Now,” Inc. (http://www.inc.com/eliza-browning/business-etiquette-rules-that-matter-now.html), April 17, 2012, p. 1.

This section of the chapter is based on “Business Etiquette: Teaching Students the Unwritten Rules,” Keying In, January 1996, pp. 1–8; Browning, “Business Etiquette: 5 Rules that Matter Now,” pp. 1–2; Letitia Baldrige, The Executive Advantage (Washington, DC: Georgetown Publishing House, 1999); “Culture Shock?” Entrepreneur, May 1998, p. 46; Blanca Torres, “Good Dining Manners Can Help Bet a Bigger Slice of the Job Pie,” Baltimore Sun story, April 5, 2005; Erin White, “The Jungle: Focus on Recruitment, Pay and Getting Ahead,” The Wall Street Journal, November 2, 2004, p. B8.

James F. Thompson, The Cubicle Survival Guide (New York: Villard, 2007).

Sarah E. Needleman, “Office Space Is Crowded Out,” The Wall Street Journal, December 7, 2009, p. B7.

“Disability Etiquette,” Human Resources Forum (a supplement to Management Review), June 1997, p. 3; “Helping Today’s Blind Children Become the Winners of Tomorrow,” American Blind Children’s Council (flyer), 2002.

Brian Hilliard and James Palmer, Networking Like a Pro (Atlanta, GA: Agito Consulting, 2003,), p. 52.

Susan Ricker, “When the Boss Talks, Really Listen,” Career Builder, September 30, 2012, p. 1.

Miranda Wilcox, “What We Don’t Like May Be What We Need,” Democrat and Chronicle, March 19, 2013, p. 5B.

Judith Sills, “How to Be a Rising Star,” Psychology Today, March/April 2006, pp. 38–39.

Ibid, p. 39.

James D. Westphal and Ithai Stern, “Flattery Will Get You Everywhere (Especially If You Are a Male Caucasian): How Ingratiation, Boardroom Behavior, and Demographic Minority Status Affect Additional Board Appointments at U.S. Companies,” Academy of Management Journal, April 2007, pp. 267–288.

Marshall Goldsmith, “All of Us Are Stuck on Suck-Ups,” Fast Company, December 2003, p. 117.

Research reported in Jeffrey Zaslow, “The Most-Praised Generation Goes to Work,” The Wall Street Journal, April 20, 2007, p. W7.

Judith Sills, “How to Improve Your Credit Rating,” Psychology Today, March/April 2008, p. 67.

Quoted in Anita Bruzzese, “On-the-Job Friends Improve Workplace,” Gannett News Service, August 21, 2006.

Tom Rather, Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without (New York: Gallup Press, 2006).

Cited in Lea Winerman, “You Rub My Fin, I’ll Rub Yours,” Psychology Today, January 2009, pp. 56–59.

Andrew J. DuBrin, Political Behavior in Organizations (Thousands Oak, CA: Sage, 2009), p. 234.

Lea Winerman, “Have Your Heard the Latest?” Monitor on Psychology, April 2006, p. 57.

Gary M. Stern, “Small Slights Bring Big Problems,” Workforce, August 2002, p. 17; Joann S. Lublin, “How to Stop the Snubs That Demoralize You and Your Colleagues,” The Wall Street Journal, December 7, 2004, p. B1.

Steve Tobak, “10 Workplace Blunders to Avoid at All Costs,” http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10-things/10-workplace-blunders-to-avoid-at-all-costs/, August 10, 2011, p. 3.

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