revise essay, add another page. follow annotations advice. come up with a solid thesis statement and state your claim/evidence from TEAS AND ICE STRUCTURE. 

[Last Name] 1

Oksana Villeda

Nicole Warlich

English 100

03/09/2021

Essay 1 Rough Draft

In the Rhetoric of Humor, In the article, “Native American Stand-up Comedy.” It’s

fascinating to know that comedian’s objectives are more than just to make people laugh, they

also use their humor to influence others to acknowledge the true realities of what goes on in the

world today. Using humor, especially irony and sarcasm, it helps advocate critical thinking to

open debates about serious situations that are not discussed openly. Often, a comedian may use

topics such as racial inequalities in their act to spread awareness on racism.

Take Comedian Dave Chapelle for example, in his show, “The Chapelle’s show,” he

exemplifies humor as a tool of social advocacy in response to the climate and the historical

legacy of racism in the United States. In this quote, he states, “The only way you can know where

the line is, is if you cross it.” And it is true, in order to spread awareness on an issue, you have

to push boundaries, you have to make the people uncomfortable. It’s the only way that makes

people think because it forces them to look in the mirror and confront the realities that we’d

usually prefer to ignore.

In the article, “Perspectives on Comedy and Performance as Radical Disability

Activism,” The writer has chosen comedy and humor as a way of bonding with an audience to

promote critical thinking and dialogue around the meaning of disability. He talks about the

unemployment rates of people who suffer with impairments and disabilities and explains how

https://www.inspiringquotes.us/quotes/xSCq_I6UnY3JK

https://www.inspiringquotes.us/quotes/xSCq_I6UnY3JK

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Source? The specific source of this quote needs to be cited

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Be sure to give the essay itself a title (not the title of the assignment). No italics or underline on title

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Thesis statement? I’m having a hard time identifying a specific thesis statement in this draft. Be sure that the last sentence of the introduction paragraph directly answers the question of the prompt

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Don’t summarize the text in the topic sentence of a body paragraph. Introduce your claim. What specific point of argument in support of your topic sentence will be proven in this body paragraph?

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Confusing paragraph development. It seems like you have two introduction paragraphs here instead of just one. The second paragraph is also focused on introducing your topic/point, not proving it. Remember that you should have one introduction paragraph introducing your topic/argument and that contains your thesis and every body paragraph should directly prove your thesis statement

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
This paragraph reads like an introduction paragraph, not a body paragraph. If you keep this content in your essay, it should be part of the introduction paragraph, not a body paragraph. Body paragraphs should directly prove your thesis statement. This paragraph is more focused on summary and on introducing the topic

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
don’t underline or italicize quotes

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
italicize name of tv show. No italics

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
name the author

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
There should be no extra space between the title and first paragraph

[Last Name] 2

low it is. Even though it’s a serious cause of concern, he uses comedy because it enables him as a

performer to cross these types of boundaries, just like how Dave Chapelle does when he uses his

comedy to express the realities of racism.

John Morreal, who is a founder of the International Society for Humor Studies comments

in this article how social bonding is created by humor and laughter. (67) In this article he also

states that, “This social bonding seems to work especially well when the humor is based on

either some strength in the group or some shortcoming in opponents of the group,” meaning that

laughter forms divisions as well as bonds between people. Laugher can form bonds between

people because we look up to people who are funny. Someone who has a good sense of humor

appears intelligent, trustworthy, and just a down to earth and ideal person to be around. A good

comedian who has all those qualities can be very influential as well. Humor presents an

important pillar in influencing the development of society as a whole. Humor is just one of the

many common forms of human communication and social interaction, so it is clear how its social

character, although not always evident, plays an important role in shaping society.

In the article, “When the Truth Hurts, tell a joke,” Stephen Rosenfield, a founder and

director of the American Comedy institute in New York City states that, “Comedians don’t start

out to change the world, but in the end, that’s what they do,” he also states, “Comedians are

aware of the power of jokes to change societies, but they’re not necessarily idealistic about it. A

comedian’s first concern is to find funny material. That is his job.” Which is true, their main goal

is to make you laugh but also open your mind up to off limit topics as well.

It reminds me when I attended my very first live stand-up comedy performance. I was

about eight-teen years old. I’m not really sure who the comedian was, But I remember a bit of his

comedy skit. He spoke about many topics but one particular topic he highlighted on the most,

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Citation?

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Don’t cite evidence in the topic sentence of a body paragraph. Your claim needs to be introduced in the topic sentence before you can effectively cite evidence to support your claim

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
You’re on the right track here, but you want your argument to be more thorough and specifically focused. It’s hard to follow your analysis in these paragraphs because you’re lacking a specific claim (as a thesis or as a focus of body paragraphs). Without a focus on your specific claim, it’s not clear to the reader what you’re proving or how you’re proving it

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
So far in this draft, you’re overly focused on summary. Remember that your task isn’t to summarize the ideas from the articles. You should be coming up with your own claim (your answer to the question of the prompt- your thesis) and proving it using the evidence (quotes from the articles) to support you. Remember that topic sentences of body paragraphs should not be focused on summary of the articles

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Run-on sentence
do” (citation). He

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Don’t summarize or narrate in topic sentences of body paragraphs. Introduce your claim. Remember that your task is to prove an argument, not to tell a story or summarize

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
citation?

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Citation?

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
What article? Introduce the source

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
This body paragraph is focused on summary of the article, not proving your claim. Remember that a body paragraph should never be focused on summary of a text/source. State YOUR claim in the topic sentence of a body paragraph, cite evidence to support your claim, then explain how that evidence supports your claim/proves your thesis.

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
This is summary. Your focus should be on analysis. Thoroughly explain what these quotes prove (your thesis) and how they prove it

[Last Name] 3

was about homophobia. At first a lot of people in the audience were shocked, including myself. I

was thinking, “Wow, he really went there.” as he was easing the audience in with each joke,

which seemed almost nerve wrecking, he finally got to the punch line. At the end of the skit, he

said, “Now. I’d like you all to meet my HUSBAND, Kevin.” The whole room exploded in

laughter, almost no one saw that coming. Greg Giraldo, a Harvard Law School graduate who

turned comic states, “A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build

the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is the laugh. The bigger the

surprise or insight in your joke, the bigger the laugh.” I couldn’t agree anymore with that

statement, what makes all of this work is the laugh. If it’s funny, people can treat heavy content

lightly, no matter what the topic is.

In conclusion, humor is and will always be a social concept. It is also evolving as well.

Every single day humor is impacting and changing the attitudes within our society and it

becomes evident as its exposure in our lives constantly grows. For example, we can simply scroll

through any social media platform and see thousands if not millions of photos that are called

“Memes” and we can relate to them. They’re countless themes of comic humor that surround us

and one way or another, it does shape our lives. It’s going to take a while longer before people

start accepting the differences of humor, but the positive changes are greater and more evident

every day. A simple quote by Erma Bombeck states, “When humor goes, there goes

civilization.” meaning, life without humor would be meaningless, empty, and a hell of a lot more

boring.

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
But what does this prove? This paragraph is overly focused on telling a story, not explicitly proving your claim (thesis). This example from personal experience can be effective in supporting your claim, but it needs to be structured correctly as evidence. Remember that evidence should not be the focus of a body paragraph – your analysis (explanation of how/why the evidence proves your thesis) should be

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Good point!

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
This is a strong conclusion paragraph! It engages the reader and reinforces/wraps up your points well without being overly repetitive

[Last Name] 4

Works Cited

Boyle Kirk, The Rhetoric of Humor, “Native American Stand-up Comedy.”

Boyle Kirk, The Rhetoric of Humor. “Perspectives on Comedy and Performance as

Radical Disability Activism,”

Richards Ryan, Cohen Roger, “When the Truth Hurts, tell a Joke: Why America Needs

Its Comedians” Humanityinaction.org

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Kirk Boyle is not the author. Review how to cite a source in an anthology (an edited book) using the handouts and materials provided in the modules. Let me know if you have questions about how to cite these sources (right now, the citations are incorrect)

Nicole Warlich
77740000000059040
Cohen, Roger & Ryan Richards