Review again the

thesis statement

.

1. Review formatting your essay  in MLA style.
2. Learn how to include in-text citations  and how to format your Works Cited page. 
3. Read these tips on organizing your essay.
4. Complete this Essay 2 Planning document,

So what is a thesis statement, anyway?

A thesis statement is the point of your essay or response; it is why you are writing. It is a sentence that
usually comes at the end of the introduction. Here is a visual representation of the organization of an academic
essay:

The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of
the logic of your interpretation. An essay with a clear thesis will be focused and not stray off-topic.

Be sure your thesis statement does the following:

 Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and
should be supported with specific evidence (in the paragraphs of the body of your essay).

 Your thesis should directly answer the question asked of you; it is not the topic itself. In other words, the
topic of your history essay might be the Vietnam War. Your thesis must, then, offer a way to understand
the war.

 Because your thesis must offer a way to understand the topic, it should make a claim that others might
not agree with. For instance, regarding the topic of the Vietnam War, your thesis might be, “The Vietnam
War might have been prevented had America itself not supported a number of military dictatorships
before the Viet Cong rose to power.”

using evidence (in the form of embedded quotations) for support.

INTRODUCTION: introduce the topic generally,
then focus with the specific

THESIS STATEMENT

Paragraphs should all reinforce the thesis statement

and prove true the claims made in the thesis statement

CONCLUSION: tie together what you have
claimed in your thesis and proven in the body

of your essay and leave you reader with
something to think about

How to Tell a Strong from a Weak Thesis Statement.

1. A strong thesis statement is debatable, reaching a conclusion with which others might not agree.

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a
paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Notice the
marked difference in the following two statements:

 There are some negative and positive health aspects to the LessWeight Herb Tea Supplement. This is a
weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is
vague.

 Because LessWeight Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of
muscle and lean body mass, it poses potential health risks to consumers. This is a strong thesis
because it is debatable, as those who have lost weight without side effects from the supplement would
disagree.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion; it should not be a mere observation. For an essay on
photojournalism, note the improvement in the second of the following two thesis statements:

 The photographs of Bosnian genocide victims were graphic and offensive to many viewers. This is a
weak thesis statement because, while true, it merely states an observation.

 Although controversial when they were first published, the circulation of photographs of the Bosnian
genocide victims who were raped and murdered was necessary to communicate the horrors of that
war to future generations. This is a strong thesis because it is controversial and generates strong reaction
and discussion. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your
point.

3. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about and will help you keep your paper to a
manageable topic. For example, notice the difference in specificity between the two thesis statements on an
assignment on world hunger:

 World hunger has many causes and effects. This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First,
world hunger is much too broad a topic. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to
identify specific causes and effects.

 Hunger persists in Uganda because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely
profitable. This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and
manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger in that part of the
world.

Information borrowed from: Indiana University Writing Center and Purdue U OWL.

Essay

2

Planning

S

elections

you will

use in this essay:

1.

_____________________________________________________

___________

2.

_____________________________________________________

The aim of your essay is to analyze:

Examine how on

e particular incident, one particular character, or one

specific relationship between two characters proves or disproves what is

stated in the article.

Use the chart to write what points your two selections make

. These points

will be the foundation of how you will choose to organize your essay,

paragraph by

paragraph.

Selection 1

Selection 2

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

Thesis statement that is specific, makes a claim others in class might not

agree with, and justifies discussion, in

complex sentence form

(independent clause + dependent clause):

__________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What your body paragraphs will be about (these should be the topic sentences of your essay). You may have fewer than or more than six paragraphs (I do not require a set number of body paragraphs, although your essay will have separate introductory and a concluding paragraphs in addition to these body paragraphs):

P1_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

P2_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

P3_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

P4_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

P5_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

P6_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Essay
2

Planning

S
elections

you will
use in this essay:

1.

________________________________________________________________

2.

_____________________________________________________

The aim of your essay is to analyze:

Examine how on
e particular incident, one particular character, or one
specific relationship between two characters proves or disproves what is
stated in the article.

Use the chart to write what points your two selections make
. These points
will be the foundation of how you will choose to organize your essay,
paragraph by

paragraph.

Selection 1

Selection 2

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

·

Thesis statement that is specific, makes a claim others in class might not
agree with, and justifies discussion, in
complex sentence form

(independent clause + dependent clause):

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

Essay 2 Planning

Selections you will use in this essay:

1. ________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________

The aim of your essay is to analyze:

Examine how one particular incident, one particular character, or one

specific relationship between two characters proves or disproves what is

stated in the article.

Use the chart to write what points your two selections make. These points

will be the foundation of how you will choose to organize your essay,

paragraph by paragraph.

Selection 1 Selection 2

















Thesis statement that is specific, makes a claim others in class might not

agree with, and justifies discussion, in complex sentence form

(independent clause + dependent clause):

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

GENDER NORMS ESSAY

Parents must ensure that children are brought up well. Most parents do not educate their boys on various critical issues. They may not care about the emotions of the boys as they care about girls’ emotions. The relationship between Digby and Jeff in the Greasy lake article proves what is stated in Orenstein’s article because it shows aspects of toxic masculinity, hiding one’s emotions, using abusive language, misogyny, and the bro culture.

The relationship between Jeff and Digby shows numerous aspects of toxic masculinity. Both characters in Boyle’s article engage in a fight. This is an aspect of toxic masculinity as they think that the person who wins is the best of all. “Jeff was on the guy’s back, biting his ear. Digby was on the ground, cursing” (Boyle,3). They think it is good to fight because it shows who is the strongest. The boys in Orenstein’s article also engage in fights and give each other hard times. They sometimes pretend to pick a fight and kick each other.

Jeff and Digby’s relationship also shows that one should hide his/her emotions. Jeff and Diggy do not act emotionally. In Orenstein’s article, the boys believe that they should not act emotionally. One should always hide their feelings and “man up”. Boys and young men are not expected to cry. They are expected to withstand the bad things done or said to them by other people.

Both Jeff and Digby use abusive language. This proves what is stated in Orenstein’s article about the use of slurs amongst boys. “Digby, Jeff, and I included- were chanting ‘motherfucker, motherfucker” (Boyle,4). The boys seem to have accepted the use of abusive language, and this proves what Orenstein explains about young men that they love using abusive language. Those who use slurs are considered heroes.

Jeff and Digby are recruited into the bandwagon of unconscious misogyny. Consciousness is gained when undesired occurrences land them in trouble, it is through this that they learn the disadvantages of their foolish perceptions.

“Digby’s face was crosshatched with smears of dirt; Jeff’s jacket was gone and his shirt was torn across the shoulder. They slouched across the lot, looking sheepish, and silently came up beside me to gape at the ravaged automobile. No one said a word” (Boyle,5).

According to Ornstein, young men are raised to be tough; however improper care and parenting make them develop undesired toxic masculinity. It is because of toxic masculinity that men will often be misogynistic, and be portrayed as misogynists because of the way they treat women, and how they value women. Young men make nasty comments on girls and their language proves their hatred towards the women. They establish masculinity through homophobia and misogynist language.

There are various aspects of the bro culture in Jeff and Diggy’s relationship. Both characters influence each other to take various actions and behave in a particular way while dropping certain behaviors. Young men pressure each other to take various actions. The actions might not be good for them. In Orenstein’s article, Ethan faces the pressure to quit the team.

“If I’d stayed, there would have been a lot of pressure for me to play, a lot of resentment, and I would have run into those guys all the time. I did not have to explain everything this way” (Peggy, 305).

Young men treat anyone who is not in their team as the enemy. They are likely to use the phrase, “bros before hos” (Peggy, 299). The phrase shows that they prefer each other to girls. In Boyle’s article, the two characters Jeff and Digby display aspects of bro culture in their relationship. They do not seem to associate with other people who are not members of their group.

Orenstein recognizes that discussing girls is not a complete version of the societal conversation. Boys are subject to the equivalent cultural influences as girls; steeped with the equivalent distorted media perception, images, pictures, and paired stereotypes of female provocativeness and toxic masculinity; which similarly influence how they explore sexual and animated connections (Peggy, 310). Orenstein plunges once more into the existences of young men to negotiate the unspoken, revelation on how young men comprehend and position the new principles of physical and emotional intimacy. These are principles young men hold in their public and private spaces.

Drawing on comprehensive discussions with young males, and psychologists; the portrayal takes apart purported locker-room talk; how misguided hilariousness denies boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; young men’s understanding of the hookup culture and assent; and their experience as the two casualties and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s involvement with all its complexity, Orenstein can unwind the hidden truths, hard exercises, and significant real factors of young men’s sexuality in this day and age (Peggy 320). The outcome is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can strive to become better men.

Young men should not use slurs or hide their emotions. Parents should ensure they encourage young men to explain how they feel. That would help prevent diseases such as depression among young men because they would be able to speak up when faced with problems. They would also acquire good values and avoid toxic masculinity.

Works Cited

Boyle, T. Coraghessan. “Greasy Lake.” Greasy lake and other stories (1985): 1-11.

Peggy, Orenstein. “Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.” Peggy, Orenstein. Girls & Sex. New York: Harper Collins, 2016. 320. ISBN 978-0-0622-0972-6.