Read the section in our text chapter 8 on creating an assertive message and watch the recorded videos on assertive messages carefully. After you have read this section review the scenarios on page 241 Activity 2 and practice creating an assertive message with two of these scenarios. Include one practice message in this submission. Then consider a current situation in your life where you think expressing an assertive message
What would be helpful for your relationship?
Reflect on this process as noted in our textbook and write out a description of your situation and then using the guidelines for assertive messages create the assertive message you think would be helpful for you in your relationship.
Use and identify the parts that make up an assertive message as described in your textbook on page 226 “Characteristics of an Assertive Message” to make sure that you have created the whole message.
If you feel comfortable then share the message that you have created for your own situation (do you have a neighbor with a barking dog) with this person. What happened? If you did not feel comfortable sharing what was missing that would have helped you feel comfortable speaking this message (just show me that you have reflected on this and why you did not feel comfortable to do this at this time) ? Be sure to clearly write out your final message here and note each of the five steps in this process next to the message itself.
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd i 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Understanding Human Communication
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd ii 10/05/16 07:38 PM
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd iii 10/05/16 07:38 PM
OXFORD NEW YORK
OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS
H
CU
Understanding Human
Communication
THIRTEENTH EDITION
Ronald B. Adler
SANTA BARBARA CITY COLLEGE
George Rodman
BROOKLYN COLLEGE
CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK
Athena du Pré
UNIVERSITY OF WEST FLORIDA
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd iv 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford.
It furthers the University’s objective of excellence in research,
scholarship, and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is
a registered trade mark of Oxford University Press in the UK and
certain other countries.
Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press
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For titles covered by Section 112 of the US Higher Education
Opportunity Act, please visit www.oup.com/us/he for the
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Press, or as expressly permitted by law, by license, or under terms
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Inquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the above
should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at
the address above.
You must not circulate this work in any other form
and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Adler, Ronald B. (Ronald Brian), 1946– author. | Rodman, George R.,
1948– author. | DuPré, Athena, author.
Title: Understanding human communication / Ronald B. Adler, Santa Barbara
City College; George Rodman, Brooklyn College, City University of
New York ; Athena duPré, University of West Florida.
Description: Thirteenth edition. | New York: Oxford University Press, [2016]
Identifiers: LCCN 2016033665 | ISBN 9780190297084
Subjects: LCSH: Communication. | Interpersonal communication.
Classification: LCC P90 .A32 2016 | DDC 302.2—dc23 LC record available at
https://lccn.loc.gov/2016033665
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed by LSC Communications, United States of America
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd v 10/05/16 07:38 PM
v
Brief Contents
Preface xiii
About the Authors xxii
PART ONE: FUNDAMENTALS OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION
Communication: What and Why 3
The Self, Perception, and Communication 35
Communication and Culture 67
PART TWO: COMMUNICATION ELEMENTS
Language 95
Listening 123
Nonverbal Communication 153
PART THREE: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
Understanding Interpersonal Communication 181
Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships 213
PART FOUR: COMMUNICATION IN GROUPS
Communicating in Groups and Teams 243
Solving Problems in Groups and Teams 271
PART FIVE: PUBLIC COMMUNICATION
Preparing and Presenting Your Speech 297
Organization and Support 323
Informative Speaking 349
Persuasive Speaking 373
Notes N-1
Glossary G-1
Credits C-1
Index I-1
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd vi 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Communication Defined 5
Characteristics of Communication 5
Modeling Communication 7
Types of Communication 10
Intrapersonal Communication 10
Dyadic/Interpersonal Communication 11
Small Group Communication 11
Organizational Communication 11
Public Communication 13
Mass Communication 13
Communication in a Changing World 13
Changing Technology 14
Changing Discipline 15
Understanding Social Media 16
Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication 17
How People Use Social Media 18
Functions of Communication 18
Physical Needs 18
Identity Needs 19
Social Needs 19
Practical Needs 19
Communication Competence: What Makes an
Effective Communicator? 20
Communication Competence Defined 20
Characteristics of Competent Communicators 21
Communicating Competently with
Social Media 24
Clarifying Misconceptions About
Communication 29
Communication Does Not Always Require Complete
Understanding 29
Communication Will Not Solve All Problems 30
Communication Isn’t Always a Good Thing 30
Meanings Rest in People, Not Words 30
Communication Is Not Simple 31
More Communication Isn’t Always Better 31
> FEATURES
Self-Assessment Your Communication Choices 8
@Work Communication Skills and Career Success 12
Self-Assessment Your Communication
Strengths and Goals 22
Understanding Communication Technology Dear Social
Media, I Need a Little Space 25
Checklist Use Social Media Courteously and Wisely 30
Ethical Challenge To Communicate or Not to
Communicate? 31
Contents
Preface xiii
About the Authors xxii
PART ONE FUNDAMENTALS OF HUMAN COMMUNICATION
Communication: What and Why 31CHAPTER
The Self, Perception, and Communication 352CHAPTER
Communication and the Self 36
Self-Concept Defined 36
Biology, Personality, and the Self 38
External Influence on the Self-Concept 38
Culture and the Self-Concept 40
The Self-Concept and Communication
with Others 40
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
and Communication 41
Perceiving Others 42
Steps in the Perception Process 43
Influences on Perception 44
Narratives, Perception, and Communication 48
Common Perceptual Tendencies 49
Perception in Mediated Communication 52
Empathy, Perception, and Communication 52
Communication and Identity Management 55
vi
Contents vii
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Contents
Public and Private Selves 55
Characteristics of Identity Management 56
Identity Management in the Workplace 59
Why Manage Identities? 59
Identity Management in Mediated Communication 61
Identity Management and Honesty 61
> FEATURES
Self-Assessment Communication and Your Self-Esteem 39
Ethical Challenge Is Honesty Always the Best Policy? 40
Checklist Check Your Perceptions Before Responding 54
Understanding Diversity Managing Identity and Coming
Out 58
@Work Humblebragging in Job Interviews 60
Understanding Communication Technology Identity
Management in Social Media 62
Ethical Challenge Honesty and Multiple Identities 63
Communication and Culture 673CHAPTER
PART TWO COMMUNICATION ELEMENTS
Language 954CHAPTER
Understanding Cultures and Cocultures 69
Intercultural and Intergroup Communication: A Matter
of Salience 70
Cultural Differences Are Generalizations 71
Cultural Values and Norms Shape
Communication 71
Individualism and Collectivism 72
High and Low Cultural Context 74
Uncertainty Avoidance 75
Power Distance 76
Beliefs About Talk and Silence 76
Competitive and Cooperative Cultures 77
Cocultures and Communication 78
Race and Ethnicity 78
Regional Differences 79
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity 80
Religion 82
Physical Ability/Disability 83
Age/Generation 84
Socioeconomic Status 85
Developing Intercultural Communication
Competence 87
Increased Contact 87
Tolerance for Ambiguity 88
Open-Mindedness 89
Knowledge and Skill 89
Patience and Perseverance 91
> FEATURES
@Work Power Distance and Culture in the
Workplace 77
Understanding Diversity Gender Pronouns 81
Understanding Diversity Communicating with People Who
Have Disabilities 83
@Work Organizations Are Cultures, Too 86
Self-Assessment What Is Your Intercultural Sensitivity? 90
Ethical Challenge Civility When Values Clash 91
The Nature of Language 96
Language Is Symbolic 97
Meanings Are in People, Not Words 97
Language Is Rule Governed 98
The Power of Language 100
Language Shapes Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs 100
Language Reflects Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs 104
Troublesome Language 107
The Language of Misunderstandings 107
Disruptive Language 112
Evasive Language 114
Gender and Language 116
> FEATURES
@Work What’s in a Name? 101
Ethical Challenge 102
Understanding Diversity Language
and Worldview 103
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Listening 1235CHAPTER
Nonverbal Communication 1536CHAPTER
The Value of Listening 125
Misconceptions About Listening 126
Myth 1: Listening and Hearing Are the Same Thing 126
Myth 2: Listening Is a Natural Process 127
Myth 3: All Listeners Receive the Same Message 128
Overcoming Challenges to Effective
Listening 129
Reasons for Poor Listening 129
Faulty Listening Habits 132
Types of Listening 134
Task-Oriented Listening 134
Relational Listening 137
Analytical Listening 139
Critical Listening 140
Listening and Social Support 142
Online Social Support 142
Gender and Social Support 142
Types of Supportive Responses 144
When and How to Help 149
> FEATURES
Checklist Tips for More Mindful Listening 128
@Work Multitasking Can Make You Stupid 130
Checklist Techniques for Listening Nondefensively 132
Self-Assessment What Is Your Listening Style? 134
Checklist Three Ways to Paraphrase 137
Checklist Taking Detailed Notes 138
Ethical Challenge How Carefully Should You Listen? 139
Checklist Evaluating a Speaker’s Message 140
Understanding Communication Technology Who Is
Listening to You Online? 143
Checklist Factors to Consider Before Offering Advice 144
Checklist When and How to Offer an Analysis 146
Checklist Conditions That Make Paraphrasing a Good
Option 149
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 155
Nonverbal Behavior Has Communicative Value 155
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily
Relational 156
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous 157
Nonverbal Communication Differs from Verbal
Communication 158
Nonverbal Skills Are Important 158
Influences on Nonverbal Communication 159
Culture 159
Gender 161
Functions of Nonverbal Communication 162
Repeating 162
Substituting 162
Complementing 162
Accenting 162
Regulating 163
Contradicting 164
Deceiving 164
Types of Nonverbal Communication 166
Body Movements 166
Voice 168
Appearance 170
Touch 172
Space 173
Environment 174
Time 175
Building Competence in Nonverbal
Communication 176
Tune Out Words 176
Use Perception Checking 176
Pay Attention to Your Own Nonverbal Behavior 177
Understanding Communication Technology Twitter Lingo
Incites Controversy 109
Ethical Challenge Euphemisms and Equivocations 114
Self-Assessment Your Use of Language 115
Checklist Choose Your Words Carefully 116
Contents ix
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> FEATURES
Understanding Communication Technology Nonverbal
Expressiveness Online 163
Self-Assessment How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal
Communication Skills? 167
@Work Vocal Cues and Career Success 169
PART THREE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
Understanding Interpersonal Communication 1817CHAPTER
Ethical Challenge Clothing and Impression
Management 172
@Work Touch and Career Success 172
Self-Assessment ANSWERS to “How Worldly Are Your
Nonverbal Communication Skills?” 179
Characteristics of Interpersonal
Communication 183
What Makes Communication Interpersonal? 183
Mediated Interpersonal Communication 184
How We Choose Relational Partners 185
Evaluating Relationship Potential 185
Relationship Reality Check 187
Types of Interpersonal Relationships 188
Friendship 188
Family Relationships 191
Romantic Partners 192
Communication Patterns in Relationships 198
Content and Relational Messages 198
Metacommunication 200
Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships 200
Dialectical Perspective of Interpersonal Relationships 203
Lies and Evasions 206
> FEATURES
Ethical Challenge Is It Cheating? 185
Understanding Diversity Can Men and Women Be Just
Friends? 189
Checklist Being a Better Friend 190
Checklist Being a Better Family Member 192
Self-Assessment What Is Your Love Language? 194
Checklist Meeting an Online Date for the First Time 196
Understanding Communication Technology To End This
Romance, Just Press “Send” 198
Checklist When and How Much to Self-Disclose 202
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Lying and Evading 206
Self-Assessment ANSWERS to “What Is Your Love
Language?”
Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships 2138CHAPTER
Understanding Interpersonal Conflict 215
Communication Climates in
Interpersonal Relationships 216
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages 218
How Communication Climates Develop 221
Approaches to Conflict 222
Styles of Expressing Conflict 223
Characteristics of an Assertive Message 226
Gender and Conflict Style 230
Cultural Influences on Conflict 231
Conflict in Online Communication 233
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts 234
Methods for Conflict Resolution 234
Steps in Win–Win Problem Solving 236
> FEATURES
Self-Assessment How Sunny Is Your Communication
Climate? 217
Understanding Communication Technology Can You Hear
Me Now? 220
Checklist Creating Positive Communication Climates 222
@Work Dealing with Sexual Harassment 226
Ethical Challenge It’s Nothing! 227
Self-Assessment How Assertive Are You? 228
Understanding Diversity They Seem to Be Arguing 232
x Contents
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The Nature of Groups and Teams 245
What Is a Group? 245
What Makes a Group a Team? 247
Virtual Groups 248
Goals of Groups and Their Members 249
Group Goals 249
Individual Goals 249
Characteristics of Groups and Teams 250
Rules and Norms 250
Patterns of Interaction 250
Roles 252
Leadership and Communication 256
Understanding Leadership 256
Becoming a Leader 261
Followership and Communication 263
Types of Followers 263
The Power of Followers 264
> FEATURES
Checklist Building an Effective Team Online 248
Checklist Getting Slackers to Do Their Share 249
Ethical Challenge Rules for Hidden Agendas 250
@Work “I’ll Do It Myself”—Or Should I? 259
Checklist Working with a Difficult Boss 260
Self-Assessment Your Leadership Approach 262
Self-Assessment How Good a Follower Are You? 264
PART FOUR COMMUNICATION IN GROUPS
Communicating in Groups and Teams 2439CHAPTER
Solving Problems in Groups and Teams 27110CHAPTER
Problem Solving in Groups:
When and Why 273
Advantages of Group Problem Solving 273
When to Use Groups for Problem
Solving 274
Setting the Stage for Problem Solving 276
Maintain Positive Relationships 276
Recognize Stages of Team Development 280
Group Problem-Solving Strategies and
Formats 280
Group Discussion Formats 281
Solving Problems in Virtual Groups 282
Approaches and Stages in Problem
Solving 284
A Structured Problem-Solving
Approach 284
Decision-Making Methods 289
Overcoming Dangers in Group
Discussion 291
Information Underload and Overload 291
Unequal Participation 291
Pressure to Conform 293
> FEATURES
Understanding Diversity Maximizing the Effectiveness of
Multicultural Teams 275
Checklist Is This a Good Opportunity for
Teamwork? 276
Self-Assessment How Effective Is Your
Team? 277
Checklist Dealing with Difficult
Team Members 279
@Work The Power of Constructive Dialogue 282
Understanding Communication Technology Developing
Trust Long Distance 283
Checklist Coping with Information Overload 291
Ethical Challenge Overly Talkative and Quiet Group
Members 292
Checklist Avoiding Groupthink 293
Contents xi
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PART FIVE PUBLIC COMMUNICATION
Preparing and Presenting Your Speech 29711CHAPTER
Getting Started 299
Choosing Your Topic 299
Defining Your Purpose 299
Writing a Purpose Statement 299
Stating Your Thesis 300
Analyzing the Speaking Situation 301
The Listeners 301
The Occasion 304
Gathering Information 304
Online Research 305
Library Research 306
Interviewing 306
Survey Research 306
Managing Communication
Apprehension 307
Facilitative and Debilitative Communication
Apprehension 307
Sources of Debilitative Communication
Apprehension 308
Overcoming Debilitative Communication
Apprehension 309
Presenting Your Speech 311
Choosing an Effective Type of Delivery 311
Practicing Your Speech 311
Guidelines for Delivery 311
Visual Aspects of Delivery 312
Auditory Aspects of Delivery 313
Sample Speech 315
> FEATURES
Ethical Challenge Adapting to Speaking Situations 302
@Work Sample Analysis of a Speaking Situation 305
Checklist Evaluating Websites 306
Self-Assessment Speech Anxiety Symptoms 310
Checklist Practicing Your Presentation 312
Understanding Diversity A Compendium of American
Dialects 315
Organization and Support 32312CHAPTER
Structuring Your Speech 324
Your Working Outline 325
Your Formal Outline 325
Your Speaking Notes 325
Principles of Outlining 327
Standard Symbols 327
Standard Format 327
The Rule of Division 327
The Rule of Parallel Wording 327
Organizing Your Outline into a Logical
Pattern 328
Time Patterns 329
Space Patterns 329
Topic Patterns 329
Problem-Solution Patterns 330
Cause-Effect Patterns 330
Monroe’s Motivated Sequence 331
Beginnings, Endings, and Transitions 332
The Introduction 332
The Conclusion 334
Transitions 334
Supporting Material 335
Functions of Supporting Material 335
Types of Supporting Material 337
Styles of Support: Narration and Citation 340
Sample Speech 341
Speech Outline 341
Bibliography 342
> FEATURES
Self-Assessment Main Points and Subpoints 328
Understanding Diversity Nontraditional Patterns of
Organization 331
Checklist Capturing Audience Attention 333
Checklist Effective Conclusions 334
@Work Organizing Business Presentations 336
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Support 340
Understanding Communication Technology Plagiarism in
a Digital Age 340
xii Contents
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Informative Speaking 34913CHAPTER
Persuasive Speaking 37314CHAPTER
Types of Informative Speaking 352
By Content 352
By Purpose 352
Informative Versus Persuasive Topics 353
An Informative Topic Tends to Be
Noncontroversial 353
The Informative Speaker Does Not
Intend to Change Audience Attitudes 353
Techniques of Informative Speaking 353
Define a Specific Informative Purpose 354
Create Information Hunger 355
Make It Easy to Listen 355
Use Clear, Simple Language 356
Use a Clear Organization and Structure 356
Use Supporting Material Effectively 357
Emphasize Important Points 358
Generate Audience Involvement 358
Using Visual Aids 361
Types of Visual Aids 361
Using Presentation Software 364
Alternative Media for Presenting Graphics 364
Rules for Using Visual Aids 365
Sample Speech 365
> FEATURES
Self-Assessment Are You Overloaded with Information? 351
Understanding Diversity How Culture Affects
Information 354
Checklist Techniques of Informative Speaking 355
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Simplicity 356
@Work The Pros and Cons of Presentation Software 366
Characteristics of Persuasion 375
Persuasion Is Not Coercive 375
Persuasion Is Usually Incremental 375
Persuasion Is Interactive 376
Persuasion Can Be Ethical 377
Categorizing Types of Persuasion 378
By Types of Proposition 378
By Desired Outcome 380
By Directness of Approach 381
Creating the Persuasive Message 382
Set a Clear, Persuasive Purpose 382
Structure the Message Carefully 382
Use Solid Evidence 385
Avoid Fallacies 386
Adapting to the Audience 388
Establish Common Ground 389
Organize According to the Expected Response 389
Neutralize Potential Hostility 389
Building Credibility as a Speaker 390
Competence 390
Character 391
Charisma 392
Sample Speech 393
Bibliography 394
> FEATURES
Ethical Challenge Analyzing Communication Behaviors 378
Understanding Diversity Cultural Differences in Persuasion 387
Ethical Challenge Adapting to a Hostile Audience 390
Self-Assessment Persuasive Speech 391
@Work Persuasion Skills in the World of Sales 392
Checklist Ethos, Pathos, and Logos 393
Communicating for Career Success Available at www.oup.com/us/adleruhcONLINE APPENDIX
Notes N-1
Glossary G-1
Credits C-1
Index I-1
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xiii 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Preface
If you want to push most communication professors’ buttons, claim that the prin-
ciples they study and teach are “just common sense.”
The truth is that communication, like many things in life, may look straight-
forward. But beneath the veneer of simplicity, it’s fraught with challenges and
questions. For example:
• Why do others misunderstand you? (And why do they accuse you of not
understanding them?)
• How can you know when another person is telling the truth?
• When it comes to communicating, are men from Mars and women from
Venus, or are we more or less the same?
• Why do we often get the most defensive when we know we’re wrong?
• What makes some teams so effective and others disappointing?
• Why are so many well-informed speakers uninteresting and hard to
understand?
• Why do people feel so nervous when speaking in public, and what can they
do about it?
Understanding Human Communication answers questions such as these. It aims
to provide an engaging, comprehensive, useful introduction to the academic
study of human communication as it is practiced in the 21st century. To see how
well this book succeeds, we invite you flip to any page and ask three questions: Is
the content important? Is the explanation clear? Is it useful?
Approach
This 13th edition builds on the approach that has served well over half a million
students and their professors. Rather than take sides in the theory-versus-skills
debate that often rages in our discipline, Understanding Human Communication
treats scholarship and skill development as mutually reinforcing. Its reader-friendly
approach strives to present material clearly without being overly simplistic. Exam-
ples on virtually every page make concepts clear and interesting. A contemporary
design makes the material inviting, as do amusing and instructive cartoons and
photos that link concepts in the text to today’s world.
New to This Edition
Beyond its user-friendly voice and engaging design, this edition reflects both the
growth of scholarship and changing trends in the academic marketplace. Longtime
users will discover not only a more contemporary look and feel but expanded cov-
erage of key concepts and a wealth of new learning tools.
xiii
xiv Preface
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xiv 10/05/16 07:38 PM
New Content
• Expanded coverage of social media. Throughout the book, readers will find
new and updated coverage of topics including social media etiquette and the
uses and gratifications of social media (Chapter 1), the risks of overusing
mediated communication channels (Chapters 1 and 7), identity management
on social media (Chapter 2), online social support (Chapter 5), the differ-
ences between mediated and in-person close relationships (Chapter 7), tips
for meeting an online date for the first time (Chapter 7), working in virtual
groups (Chapter 9), and cyberspace work environments (Chapter 10). New
and updated “Understanding Communication Technology” boxes highlight
the increasingly important role of technology in human communication.
• Updated discussions of communication and culture. Chapter 3 is devoted
entirely to communication and culture. It focuses on cocultural factors that
students are likely to encounter close to home every day: ethnicity, regional
differences, gender/sexual orientation, religion, physical abilities, age/gen-
eration, and socioeconomic status. Updated material addresses cultural
hegemony and intersectionality theory. The discussion of culture extends
throughout the book, most visibly in “Understanding Diversity” boxes.
New and updated boxes in this edition explore the challenge of manag-
ing personal pronouns in an era of increasing gender fluidity (Chapter 3),
the effect of language on worldview (Chapter 4), and the advantages of
multicultural teams (Chapter 10). In-text discussions and captioned photos
address topics such as microaggressions (Chapter 2), cultural conflict styles
(Chapter 8), and cultural leadership preferences (Chapter 9).
• New tips for career success. “@Work” boxes appear throughout the text,
covering new and expanded topics such as the connection between com-
munication skills and career success (Chapter 1), professional identity man-
agement and job interviewing (Chapter 2), the risks of humblebragging
(Chapter 2), vocal cues and career success (Chapter 6), and new examples
of effective presentations at work (Chapters 11–14). An online appendix,
“Communicating for Career Success,” is available at www.oup.com/us/
adleruhc and contains advice on how to communicate professionally in
seeking employment and once on the job.
• New chapter-opening profiles. These stories highlight real-life communica-
tion challenges and are woven into the fabric of the chapter content. Profiles
feature interesting and relevant personal stories, including those of Zappos
founder Tony Hsieh, television personality and former Olympian Caitlyn
Jenner, young publishing executive Erica Nicole, body language expert Amy
Cuddy, relationship expert Brené Brown, startup whiz Matt Mullenweg,
human rights activist Malala Yousafzai, students who have overcome dis-
abilities, and others who have fought for equal rights. Questions at the end
of the profiles prompt students to connect the material to their own lives.
• New and expanded coverage of important topics in each chapter. For
example:
◦ Chapter 1 discusses the social and physical benefits of effective commu-
nication. It includes a new “Understanding Communication Technol-
ogy” box on controlling social media use and a new checklist on social
media etiquette.
◦ Chapter 2 now includes an expanded discussion of self-esteem, social
influences on the self-concept, how stereotyping and scripts degrade the
Preface xv
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xv 10/05/16 07:38 PM
quality of communication, and how empathy and frame switching pro-
vide better understanding of others.
◦ Chapter 3 includes a new “Understanding Diversity” box on gender
pronouns as well as expanded discussions of cultural dominance and
religion-based stereotyping.
◦ Chapter 4 contains a new discussion of the differences between connota-
tive and denotative meaning. In addition, it includes a clearer, expanded
explanation of pragmatic rules and a more complete explanation of how
power relationships are expressed in language use. Chapter 4 also offers
a current view of similarities and differences between characteristically
male and female speech.
◦ Chapter 5 offers new evidence on the personal and career benefits of
effective listening, as well as gender differences in social support.
◦ Chapter 6 addresses contemporary speech mannerisms such as uptalk
and vocal fry.
◦ Chapter 7 now includes treatment of the role communication plays in
maintaining friendships, family connections, and romantic relation-
ships. It also includes a clearer treatment of how dialectical tensions
shape communication in close relationships, and the roles of lies and
evasions in relational maintenance.
◦ Chapter 8 (now titled “Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relation-
ships”) has been reorganized to present both familiar and new material
in a clearer and more useful way.
◦ Chapter 9 includes new material on transformational leadership.
◦ Chapter 10 includes three new checklists on teamwork and a new table
on decision-making methods.
◦ Chapters 11–14 have all new sample speeches, outlines, and analyses.
Their topics include many forms of diversity, including LGBTQ life, as
well as current controversies such as gun control. Chapter 13 provides
new examples of how to spark visual interest in a speech, how to use
vocal citations, and how to incorporate photos, videos, and audio files
into a presentation.
Learning Tools
• Checklists in every chapter, many of them new for this edition, provide
handy reference tools to help students build their skill sets and internalize
what they have learned. New checklists address how to use social media
courteously (Chapter 1); perception checking (Chapter 2); minimizing mis-
understandings (Chapter 4); mindful listening, paraphrasing, and control-
ling defensiveness (Chapter 5); being a better friend (Chapter 7); creating
positive communication climates (Chapter 8); getting slackers to do their
share in groups and working with difficult bosses (Chapter 9); and dealing
with difficult team members (Chapter 10).
• Self-assessments invite students to evaluate and improve their communica-
tion skills and to consider their identities as communicators. These features
include quizzes to help students understand more about their listening
styles (Chapter 5), love languages (Chapter 7), interpersonal communica-
tion climates (Chapter 8), leadership and followership styles (Chapter 9),
team effectiveness (Chapter 10), and more.
xvi Preface
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xvi 10/05/16 07:38 PM
• Learning Objectives now correspond to major headings in each chapter
and coordinate with the end-of-chapter summary and review. They provide
a clear map of what students need to learn and where to find that material.
• A new “Making the Grade” section at the end of each chapter helps students
test and deepen their mastery of the material. Organized by learning objec-
tive, this section summarizes the key points from the text and includes
related questions and prompts to promote understanding and application.
• “Understanding Communication Technology” boxes highlight the
increasingly important role of technology in human communication.
• “Understanding Diversity” boxes provide a more in-depth treatment of
intercultural communication topics.
• “@Work” boxes show students how key concepts from the text operate in
the workplace.
• “Ethical Challenge” boxes engage students in debates such as whether
honesty is always the best policy, the acceptability of presenting multiple
identities, and how to deal effectively with difficult group members.
• Key Terms are boldfaced on first use and listed at the end of each chapter,
and a new Marginal Glossary helps students learn new terms.
• Activities at the end of each chapter can be completed in class and help
students apply the material to their everyday lives. Additional activities are
available in the Instructor’s Manual (The Complete Guide to Teaching Com-
munication) at https://arc2.oup-arc.com/.
• Ask Yourself prompts in the margins invite students to apply the material
to their own lives. These also provide a confidence-building opportunity
to get students speaking in class before undertaking formal presentations.
• Marginal cultural idioms not only highlight the use of idioms in commu-
nication but also help nonnative English speakers appreciate the idiosyn-
cratic expressions and colloquialisms they normally take for granted.
• An enhanced support package for every chapter (described in detail below)
includes video links, pre- and post-reading quizzes, activities, discussion
topics, examples, tools for recording and uploading student speeches for
assessment, an online gradebook, and more.
Optional Chapter
Along with the topics included in the text itself, a custom chapter is available on Mass
Communication. Ask your Oxford University Press representative for details, or see
the Understanding Human Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
Ancillary Package
The 13th edition of Understanding Human Communication contains a robust pack-
age of ancillary materials that will make teaching more efficient and learning more
effective. Instructors and students alike will be pleased to find a complete suite of
supplements.
Online Learning
This edition of Understanding Human Communication offers a host of options for
online learning:
• Dashboard delivers high-quality content, tools, and assessments to track
student progress in an intuitive, web-based learning environment.
Preface xvii
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xvii 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Dashboard gives instructors the ability to manage digital content from
Understanding Human Communication, 13th edition, and its supplemen-
tary materials in order to make assignments, administer tests, and track
student progress. Assessments are designed to accompany this text and
are automatically graded so that instructors can easily check students’
progress as they complete their assignments. The color-coded gradebook
illustrates at a glance where students are succeeding and where they can
improve. Dashboard is engineered to be simple, informative, and mobile.
All Dashboard content is engineered to work on mobile devices, includ-
ing iOS platforms.
With this edition’s Dashboard, professors and students have access to a
variety of interactive study and assessment tools designed to enhance
their learning experience, including:
◦ Multiple choice pre- and posttests to accompany each chapter
◦ Interactive drag-and-drop questions in each chapter
◦ Animations with assessment questions based on the 13th edition’s fig-
ures, which help reinforce difficult and abstract concepts
◦ Short video clips with assessment in each chapter to show communica-
tion in action and help students apply what they have learned
◦ Examples of professional and student speeches, accompanied by review
and analysis questions
◦ Interactive flashcards to aid in self-study
• Course cartridges are an alternative to Dashboard. They are avail-
able for a variety of Learning Management Systems, including Black-
board Learn, Canvas, Moodle, D2L, and Angel. Course cartridges allow
instructors to create their own course websites integrating student and
instructor resources available on the Ancillary Resource Center and
Companion Website. Contact your Oxford University Press representa-
tive for access or for more information about these supplements or cus-
tomized options.
For Instructors
Ancillary Resource Center (ARC) at https://arc2.oup-arc.com/. This convenient,
instructor-focused website provides access to all of the up-to-date teaching resources
for this text—at any time—while guaranteeing the security of grade-significant
resources. In addition, it allows OUP to keep instructors informed when new con-
tent becomes available. The following items are available on the ARC:
• The Complete Guide to Teaching Communication, written by co-author
Athena du Pré, provides a complete syllabus, teaching tips, preparation
checklists, grab-and-go lesson plans, high-impact activities, links to rel-
evant video clips, and coordinating PowerPoint lecture slides and Prezi
presentations.
• A comprehensive Computerized Test Bank includes 60 exam questions
per chapter in multiple-choice, short-answer, and essay formats. The ques-
tions have been extensively revised for this edition, are labeled according
to difficulty, and include the page reference and chapter section where the
answers may be found.
• PowerPoint and Prezi lecture slides include key concepts, video clips, dis-
cussion questions, and other elements to engage students. They correspond
to content in the lesson plans, making them ready to use and fully editable
so that preparing for class is faster and easier than ever.
xviii Preface
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• Now Playing, Instructor’s Edition, includes an introduction on how to
incorporate film and television clips in class, as well as even more film
examples, viewing guides and assignments, a complete set of sample
responses to the discussion questions in the student edition, a full list of
references, and an index by subject for ease of use. Now Playing also has an
accompanying companion website at www.oup.com/us/nowplaying, which
features descriptions of films from previous editions and selected film clips.
For Students
• Now Playing, Student Edition, available free in a package with a new copy
of the book, explores contemporary films and television shows through the
lens of communication principles. Updated yearly, it illustrates how com-
munication concepts play out in a variety of situations, using mass media
that are interactive, familiar, and easily accessible to students.
• The Companion Website is an open-access student website at www.oup.
com/us/adleruhc that offers activities, audio tutorials, chapter outlines,
review questions, worksheets, practice quizzes, flashcards, and other study
tools. This companion site is perfect for students who are looking for a little
extra study material online.
Acknowledgments
Anyone involved with creating a textbook knows that success isn’t possible without
the contributions of many people.
We owe a debt to our colleagues, whose reviews helped shape the edition you
are holding. In particular, we wish to thank Anastacia Kurylo of St. Joseph’s Col-
lege for her insightful comments on Chapter 3, and Molly Steen of the University
of California, Santa Barbara, for her guidance on communication strategies for
job-seekers. Thanks yet again to Russ Proctor, University of Northern Kentucky,
for sharing his work and insights. We also thank the following reviewers commis-
sioned by Oxford University Press:
Theresa Albury Miami Dade College
Mark Bergmooser Monroe County Community College
Jaime Bochantin University of North Carolina, Charlotte
Kelly Crue St. Cloud Technical and Community College
Lisa Fitzgerald Austin Community College
David Flatley Central Carolina Community College
Sarah D. Fogle Embry-Riddle University
Karley Goen Tarleton State University
Donna L. Halper Lesley University
Lysia Hand Phoenix College
Milton Hunt Austin Community College
Amy K. Lenoce Naugatuck Valley Community College
Allyn Lueders East Texas Baptist University
Kim P. Nyman Collin College
Christopher Palmi Lewis University
Evelyn Plummer Seton Hall University
Preface xix
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xix 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Delwin E. Richey Tarleton State University
Charles Roberts East Tennessee State University
John H. Saunders University of Central Arkansas
Kim G. Smith Bishop State Community College
Linda H. Straubel Embry-Riddle University
Raymond D. Taylor Blue Ridge Community College
Lori E. Vela Austin Community College
We also continue to be grateful to the many professors whose reviews of previous
editions continue to bring value to this book:
Deanna Armentrout, West Virginia University; Miki Bacino-Thiessen, Rock Valley
College; Marie Baker-Ohler, Northern Arizona University; Kimberly Batty-Herbert,
South Florida Community College; Mark Bergmooser, Monroe County Commu-
nity College; Pete Bicak, SUNY Rockland; Brett N. Billman, Bowling Green State
University; Shepherd Bliss, Sonoma State University; Beth Bryant, Northern
Virginia Community College, Loudoun; Jo-Anne Bryant, Troy State University–
Montgomery; Ironda Joyce Campbell, Pierpont Community and Technical College;
Patricia Carr Connell, Gadsden State Community College; Cheryl Chambers,
Mississippi State University; Kelly Crue, Saint Cloud Technical & Community
College; Dee Ann Curry, McMurry University; Amber Davies-Sloan, Yavapai
College; Heather Dorsey, University of Minnesota; Rebecca A. Ellison, Jefferson
College; Gary G. Fallon, Broward Community College and Miami International
University of Art and Design; Amber N. Finn, Texas Christian University; Sarah
Fogle, Embry- Riddle Aeronautical University; Cole Franklin, East Texas Baptist
University; Mikako Garard, Santa Barbara City College; Samantha Gonzalez,
University of Hartford; Betsy Gordon, McKendree University; Sharon Grice,
Kirkwood Community College–Cedar Rapids; Deborah Hill, Sauk Valley Commu-
nity College; Lisa Katrina Hill, Harrisburg Area Community College– Gettysburg
Campus; Brittany Hochstaetter, Wake Technical Community College; Emily
Holler, Kennesaw State University; Maria Jaskot-Inclan, Wilbur Wright College;
Kimberly Kline, University of Texas at San Antonio; Carol Knudson, Gateway Tech
College–Kenosha; Kara Laskowski, Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania; Jen-
nifer Lehtinen, State University of New York at Orange; Kurt Lindemann, San Diego
State University; Judy Litterst, St. Cloud State College; Natashia Lopez-Gomez,
Notre Dame De Namur University; Jennifer McCullough, Kent State University;
Bruce C. McKinney, University of North Carolina– Wilmington; Brenda Meyer,
Anoka Ramsey Community College–Cambridge; Jim Mignerey, St. Petersburg Col-
lege; Randy Mueller, Gateway Technical College, Kenosha; Kimberly M. Myers,
Manchester College and Indiana University–Purdue University Fort Wayne; Gregg
Nelson, Chippewa Valley Technical College, River Falls; Catriona O’Curry, Bellevue
Community College; Emily Osbun-Bermes, Indiana University–Purdue University
at Fort Wayne; Doug Parry, University of Alaska at Anchorage; Daniel M. Paulnock,
Saint Paul College; Cheryl Pawlowski, University of Northern Colorado; Stacey A.
Peterson, Notre Dame of Maryland University; Kelly Aikin Petkus, Austin Com-
munity College–Cypress Creek; Russell F. Proctor, Northern Kentucky Univer-
sity; Shannon Proctor, Highline Community College; Robert Pucci, SUNY Ulster;
Terry Quinn, Gateway Technical College, Kenosha; Elizabeth Ribarsky, University
of Illinois at Springfield; Dan Robinette, Eastern Kentucky University; B. Hannah
Rockwell, Loyola University Chicago; Dan Rogers, Cedar Valley College; Theresa
Rogers, Baltimore City Community College, Liberty; Michele Russell, Northern
Virginia Community College; Gerald Gregory Scanlon, Colorado Mountain Col-
lege; David Schneider, Saginaw Valley State University; Cady Short-Thompson,
Northern Kentucky University; Karen Solliday, Gateway Technical College; Patricia
xx Preface
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xx 10/05/16 07:38 PM
Spence, Richland Community College; Sarah Stout, Kellogg Community College;
Don Taylor, Blue Ridge Community College; Cornelius Tyson, Central Connecti-
cut State University; Curt VanGeison, St. Charles Community College; Robert W.
Wawee, The University of Houston–Downtown; Kathy Wenell-Nesbit, Chippewa
Valley Technical College; Shawnalee Whitney, University of Alaska, Anchorage;
Princess Williams, Suffolk County Community College; Rebecca Wolniewicz,
Southwestern College; and Jason Ziebart, Central Carolina Community College.
Many thanks are due to colleagues who developed and refined elements of the
ancillary package:
Mary Ann McHugh: Test Bank, Dashboard, Companion Website
Tanika Smith and Windolyn Yarberry: Dashboard
John James: PowerPoints/Prezis
The enhanced package that is the result of their efforts will help instructors teach
more effectively and students succeed in mastering the material in this text.
As most instructors know, ancillaries are anything but secondary. The previ-
ous edition’s ancillaries were reviewed for accuracy, ease of use, efficacy, relevancy,
and rigor. It was this direct instructor feedback that we used to craft the current
edition’s program. We would like to thank the following reviewers of ancillary
materials for their thoughtful insights:
Jessica Akey Champlain College
Manuel G. Aviles-Santiago Arizona State University
Jaime Bochantin DePaul University/University of North
Carolina, Charlotte
James Canney Naugatuck Valley Community College
Kelly Crue St. Cloud Technical and Community
College
Stuart Doyle Embry-Riddle University
Vance Elderkin Alamance Community College
Rebecca A. Ellison Jefferson College
Milton Hunt Austin Community College
Audrey E. Kali Framingham State University
James Keller Lone Star College CyFair
Sarah Kercsmar University of Kentucky
Randall E. King Indiana Wesleyan University
Maria LeBerre Northern Virginia Community College
Michelle M. Maresh-Fuehrer Texas A&M University, Corpus Christi
James L. Redfield St. Cloud Technical and Community
College
Emily Richardson University of Pikeville
Delwin E. Richey Tarleton State University
Jacqueline A. Shirley Tarrant County College
Kim G. Smith Bishop State Community College
Linda H. Straubel Embry-Riddle University
Charlotte Toguchi Kapi‘olani Community College
Archie Wortham Northeast Lakeview College
Windolyn Yarberry Florida State College at Jacksonville
Preface xxi
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In an age when publishing is becoming increasingly corporate, impersonal,
and sales driven, we continue to be grateful for the privilege and pleasure of work-
ing with the professionals at the venerable Oxford University Press. They blend
the best old-school practices with cutting-edge thinking.
Our Editor, Toni Magyar, has been a hardworking advocate for this book.
We count our lucky stars for all the contributions of Development Editor Lauren
Mine. She is an author’s dream—smart, responsive, resourceful, and congenial.
Associate Editor Paul Longo has been a valuable member of the UHC team,
coordinating the ancillary package, figure updates, and countless other details.
Senior Production Editor Barbara Mathieu’s steady hand and Art Director Michele
Laseau’s design talents have transformed this project from a plain manuscript into
the handsome book you are now reading. Marketing Manager David Jurman and
the entire OUP sales team have gone the extra mile in bringing this book to users
and supporting their teaching efforts. We are grateful to Sherri Adler and Sandy
Cooke for their resourcefulness and the artistic sense they applied in choosing
photos in these pages. We are also grateful to the eagle-eyed James Fraleigh for
reviewing this manuscript and to Susan Monahan for her indexing talents.
Finally, as always, we thank our partners Sherri, Linda, and Grant for their
good-natured understanding and support while we’ve worked on this edition for
more than a year. When it comes to communication, they continue to be the best
judges of whether we practice what we preach.
Ron Adler
George Rodman
Athena du Pré
9780190297084_i-xxii_fm.indd xxii 10/05/16 07:38 PM
About the Authors
Ronald B. Adler is Professor of Communication Emeritus, at Santa Barbara City
College. He is coauthor of Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication;
Essential Communication; Looking Out, Looking In; and Communicating at Work: Prin-
ciples and Practices for Business and the Professions.
George Rodman is Professor in the Department of Television and Radio at Brook-
lyn College, City University of New York, where he founded the graduate media
studies program. He is the author of Mass Media in a Changing World, Making Sense
of Media, and several books on public speaking.
Athena du Pré is Distinguished University Professor of Communication at the
University of West Florida. She is the author of Communicating About Health: Cur-
rent Issues and Perspectives and coauthor of Essential Communication, as well as other
books, journal articles, and chapters on communicating effectively.
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Understanding Human Communication
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9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 3 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Communication: What
and Why
1
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Communication Defined 5
Characteristics of Communication
Modeling Communication
Types of Communication 10
Intrapersonal Communication
Dyadic/Interpersonal Communication
Small Group Communication
Organizational Communication
Public Communication
Mass Communication
Communication in a Changing World 13
Changing Technology
Changing Discipline
Understanding Social Media 16
Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication
How People Use Social Media
Functions of Communication 18
Physical Needs
Identity Needs
Social Needs
Practical Needs
Communication Competence: What Makes an Effective
Communicator? 20
Communication Competence Defined
Characteristics of Competent Communicators
Communicating Competently with Social Media
Clarifying Misconceptions About Communication 29
Communication Does Not Always Require Complete Understanding
Communication Will Not Solve All Problems
Communication Isn’t Always a Good Thing
Meanings Rest in People, Not Words
Communication Is Not Simple
More Communication Isn’t Always Better
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1.1
Apply the transactional
communication model described
on pages 9–10 to a specific
incident, explaining how that
exchange is part of a relational,
symbolic process.
1.2
Identify the types of communication
that operate in human interaction.
1.3
Compare and contrast face-to-face
and mediated communication,
including social media.
1.4
Describe the effects of changing
communication technology
on the study of human
communication in recent decades.
1.5
Explain the key needs you and
others attempt to satisfy by
communicating.
1.6
Suggest ways of improving your
communication competence in a
specific situation.
1.7
Identify how misconceptions
about communication can create
problems, and suggest how
changes in communication can
lead to better outcomes.
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 4 10/06/16 12:52 PM
ZAPPOS IS A BILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY. But if you go looking
for the CEO, don’t ask directions to the executive suite. Tony Hsieh (pro-
nounced Shay) sits at a standard-issue desk in the midst of the company’s
busy call center. “I think I would probably get lonely in an office. I’d be
away from all the action,” explains the energetic visionary.1
Hsieh maintains a legendary fervor for open communication. By being
in the same room as everyone else, he can easily share information and
listen to employees’ ideas in real time. It’s an unconventional approach
with unconventional results: Zappos skyrocketed to success as an online
retail company in about 10 years. Behind that success is the philosophy
that supportive relationships, enhanced by effective communication,
matter more than anything else.
We’ll return to Hsieh as an example throughout the chapter. His success
makes a strong case for the importance of communication. But perhaps
the strongest argument for studying this subject is its central role in our
lives. The average person spends 7 out of every 10 waking hours actively
communicating with family members, friends, coworkers, teachers, and
even strangers.2 With computers, phones, tablets, and all the rest, it’s pos-
sible to carry on several conversations at one time. Of course, more com-
munication isn’t always better communication. In this chapter, we begin
to explore how to make wise choices about what messages we share with
others and how we share them.
You don’t have to be
CEO of a billion-dollar
company to recognize the
importance of effective
communication.
?
Tony Hsieh uses
communication to build
relationships with colleagues
and customers. What role
does communication
play in the quality of your
relationships at school,
at work, and in your
personal life?
?
Describe the communica-
tion style of someone you
admire. In what ways does
that person display respect
for others? How does he
or she encourage mutual
understanding?
?
What communication skills
do you think will be most
essential in the career you
envision for yourself? Why?
Communication Defined 5
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 5 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Communication Defined
The term communication isn’t as simple as it might seem. People use
it in a variety of ways that are only vaguely related:
• A dog scratches at the back door to be let out.
• Data flows from one computer database to another in a cas-
cade of electronic impulses.
• Strangers who live thousands of miles apart notice each oth-
er’s social media postings, and they build a relationship via
email, text messaging, and instant messaging.
• Locals offer directions to a group of confused-looking people
who seem to be from out of town.
• A religious leader gives a sermon encouraging the congrega-
tion to get more involved in the community.
We need to narrow our focus before going on. A look at this
book’s table of contents shows that it does not deal with animals.
Neither is it about Holy Communion, the bestowing of a material
thing, or many of the other subjects mentioned in the Oxford Eng-
lish Dictionary’s 1,200-word definition of communication. What, then, are we talk-
ing about when we use the term?
Characteristics of Communication
As its title suggests, this is a book about understanding human communication—so
we’ll start by explaining what it means to study communication that is unique to
members of our species. For our purposes we’ll define human communication as
the process of creating meaning through symbolic interaction. Examining this definition
reveals some important insights.
Communication Is a Process We often think about communication as if it occurs
in discrete, individual acts such as one person’s utterance or a
conversation. But in fact, communication is a continuous, on-
going process. There are probably people in your life who have
changed your outlook through their words and actions. This
change typically occurs over time, not instantly.
As a case in point, consider the CEO of Zappos. Tony Hsieh
recognizes that creating a culture of happiness at Zappos re-
quires more than a speech, a memo from HR, or slogans on the
wall. Developing trust, creativity, and respect takes time. Hsieh
made a commitment to listen to team members every day and
take their ideas seriously. Open communication and effective
listening have allowed Zappos to become one of the best places
to work in the country.3
Consistency is key. Even what appears to be an isolated
message is often part of a much larger process. Consider, for
example, a friend’s compliment about your appearance. Your
interpretation of those words will depend on a long series
of experiences stretching far back in time: How have others
judged your appearance? How do you feel about your looks?
How honest has your friend been in the past? How have you
been feeling about each other recently? All this history will
help shape your response to the friend’s remark. In turn, the
communication The process of
creating meaning through symbolic
interaction.
Communication (without an “s”) refers to the study of how
people share messages. That’s the primary focus of this book.
Communications (with an “s”) usually refers to the technologies that
enable the exchange of information.
Can you give examples of the proper use of “communication” versus
“communications”?
Source: © The New Yorker Collection 1984 Warren
Miller from cartoonbank.com. ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED.
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why6
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 6 10/06/16 12:52 PM
words you speak and the way you say them will shape the way your friend behaves
toward you and others—both in this situation and in the future.
This simple example shows that it’s inaccurate to talk about “acts” of commu-
nication as if they occur in isolation. To put it differently, communication isn’t a
series of incidents pasted together like photographs in a scrapbook; instead, it is
more like a motion picture in which the meaning comes from the unfolding of an
interrelated series of images. The fact that communication is a process is reflected
in the transactional model introduced later in this chapter.
Communication Is Relational, Not Individual Communication isn’t some-
thing we do to others; rather, it is something we do with them. Like many types
of dancing, communication depends on the involvement of a partner. A great
dancer who doesn’t consider and adapt to the skill level of his or her partner can
make both people look bad. In communication and in dancing, even two highly
skilled partners must work at adaptation and coordination. Finally, relational
communication—like dancing—is a unique creation that arises out of the way in
which the partners interact: It varies with different partners.
Psychologist Kenneth Gergen captures the relational nature of communica-
tion well when he points out how our success depends on interaction with others.
As he says, “one cannot be ‘attractive’ without others who are attracted, a ‘leader’
without others willing to follow, or a ‘loving person’ without others to affirm with
appreciation.”4
Because communication is relational, or transactional, it’s often a mistake to
suggest that just one person is responsible for a relationship. Although it’s easy to
blame each other for a disappointing outcome, that’s often fruitless and counter-
productive. It’s usually far better to ask, “How did we handle this situation poorly,
and what can we do to make it better?”
The transactional nature of communication shows up in school, where teach-
ers and students influence one another’s behavior. For example, teachers who
regard some students negatively may treat them with subtle or overt disfavor. As
a result, these students are likely to react to their teachers’ behavior negatively,
which reinforces the teachers’ original attitudes and expectations.5
Communication Is Symbolic Chapter 4 discusses the nature of symbols in more
detail, but this idea is so important that it needs an introduction now. Symbols
are used to represent things, processes, ideas, or events in ways that make com-
munication possible.
One feature of symbols is their arbitrary nature. For example, there’s no logi-
cal reason why the letters in the word book should stand for the object you’re read-
ing now. Speakers of Spanish call it a libro, and Germans call it a Buch. Even in
English, another term would work just as well as long as everyone agreed to use
it in the same way.
Conflicts can arise when people attach different meanings to a symbol. (See
the Confederate flag photo on this page.) Is calling your friend a “gangsta” a joke
or an insult? Are flowers offered after a fight an expression of apology or an at-
tempt to avoid guilt? How people feel about each other depends a great deal on
how they interpret one another’s actions.
Animals don’t use symbols in the varied and complex ways that we do. There’s
nothing symbolic about a dog scratching at the door to be let out; there is a natu-
ral connection between the door and the dog’s goal. By contrast, the significance
of a word or action is only arbitrarily related to the meaning we give it. Besides
reflecting our identity, symbolic communication allows people to think or talk
about the past, explain the present, and speculate about the future.
symbol An arbitrary sign used to
represent a thing, person, idea, event,
or relationship in ways that make com-
munication possible.
Communication is something we do with,
not to others.
How well is your communication
synchronized with others in important
relationships?
More than 150 years after the U.S. Civil
War, the Confederate flag still evokes
strong emotions. Some view it as a
symbol of racism, while others see
it as honoring the sacrifices of brave
Confederate soldiers.
Which symbols communicate messages
that draw you toward others? Which
ones create discord?
Communication Defined 7
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Modeling Communication
So far we have introduced a basic definition of
communication and considered its character-
istics. This information is useful, but it only
begins to describe the process we will exam-
ine throughout this book. One way to deepen
your understanding is to look at some models
that describe what happens when two or more
people interact. Over the years, scholars have
developed an increasingly accurate and sophis-
ticated view of this process.
A Linear Model Until about 50 years ago,
researchers viewed communication as some-
thing that one person “does” to another.6 In
this linear communication model, communication is like giving an injection:
A sender encodes (puts into symbols) ideas and feelings into some sort of
message and then conveys them to a receiver, who decodes (attaches meaning
to) them (Figure 1-1).
One important element of the linear model is the communication
channel—the method by which a message is conveyed between people.
Face-to-face contact is the most obvious channel. Writing is another channel.
In addition to these long-used forms, mediated communication channels in-
clude telephone, email, instant messaging, faxes, voice mail, and video chats.
(The word mediated reflects the fact that these messages are conveyed through
some sort of communication medium.) The self-assessment on page 8 will
help you appreciate how the channel you choose can help determine the suc-
cess of your messages.
At first glance, the linear model suggests that communication is a straight-
forward matter: If you choose your words correctly, your message should get
through without distortion. But even in the closest relationships, misunder-
standing is common. In one study, researchers invited several pairs of people
into their lab.7 Some were married; others were strangers. The subjects invari-
ably predicted that the married couples would understand each other better
than strangers. In reality, the level of understanding was about the same. This
finding highlights what the researchers called the “closeness-communication
bias.” Overestimating how well we understand others can result in potentially
serious misunderstandings.
The channel you choose can make a big difference in the effect of a message.
For example, if you want to say “I love you,” a generic e-card probably wouldn’t
have the same effect as a handwritten note. Likewise, saying “I love you” for the
first time via text message could make a very different statement than saying the
words in person.
Why are misunderstandings—even in our closest relationships—so common?
One factor is what scholars call noise—a broad category that includes any
force that interferes with the accurate reception of a message. Noise can occur
at every stage of the communication process. Three types of noise can disrupt
communication—external, physiological, and psychological. External noise (also
called “physical” noise) includes those factors outside the receiver that make
hearing difficult, as well as many other kinds of distractions. For instance, a
weak signal would make it hard for you to understand another person on the
phone, and sitting in the rear of an auditorium might make hearing a speaker’s
remarks difficult. External noise can disrupt communication almost anywhere
linear communication model A
characterization of communication as a
one-way event in which a message flows
from sender to receiver.
sender The originator of a message.
encode Put thoughts into symbols,
most commonly words.
message A sender’s planned and un-
planned words and nonverbal behaviors.
receiver One who notices and attends
to a message.
decode To attach meaning to a
message.
channel The medium through which a
message passes from sender to receiver.
mediated communication Commu-
nication sent via a medium other than
face-to-face interaction.
noise External, physiological, and
psychological distractions that interfere
with the accurate transmission and
reception of a message.
Sender
Encodes
Message
Decodes
Receiver
NoiseSender’s Environment Receiver’s Environment
FIGURE 1-1 Linear Communication
Model
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why8
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 8 10/06/16 12:52 PM
S E L F A S S E S S M E N T
Your Communication Choices
INSTRUCTIONS:
Consider which communication channel(s) you would use in each situation described below.
Scenario
Your Communication Choice
Face-to-
Face
Phone Email Text
Social
Media
1. You have been concerned about a friend. The last time you were
together you asked, “Is anything wrong?” Your friend replied, “I’m
fine.” Now it’s been several weeks since you have heard from your
friend, and you’re worried. Which channel do you think is best for
gauging your friend’s true emotions?
2. You’re angry and frustrated with a professor and want to deal with
this concern before the problem gets worse. Which communication
choice offers you the best opportunity to address the problem?
3. On Thursday your boss tells you it’s okay to come in late Monday
morning. You’re worried he will forget that he gave you permission.
What channel(s) should you use to make sure he remembers?
4. You’re applying for a job when a friend says, “You won’t believe the
photo of you that I’m going to post from the party last weekend!”
How would you try to dissuade your friend from posting the photo?
5. You just ended a long-time relationship. What’s the best way to let
your friends and family know?
6. What is a communication challenge you currently face? Which
channel(s) would be best suited to addressing it?
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
EVALUATING YOUR RESPONSES
Explain the reasoning behind your choices. After reading this book, retake this assessment to see if your choices have
changed.
in our model—in the sender, channel, message, or receiver. Physiological noise
involves biological factors in the receiver or sender that interfere with accurate
reception: illness, fatigue, and so on. Psychological noise refers to forces within a
communicator that interfere with the ability to express or understand a message
accurately. For instance, worrying about a recent conflict might make it hard to
focus on work or school. In the same way, you might be so upset to learn you
failed a test that you would be unable (perhaps unwilling) to understand clearly
where you went wrong.
A linear model shows that communicators often occupy different environments—
fields of experience that help them understand others’ behavior. In communication
terminology, environment refers not only to a physical location but also to the personal
experiences and cultural backgrounds that participants bring to a conversation.
environment Both the physical setting
in which communication occurs and
the personal perspectives of the parties
involved.
Communication Defined 9
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 9 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Consider just some of the factors that might contribute to different
environments:
• A might belong to one ethnic group and B to another.
• A might be rich and B poor.
• A might be in a rush and B have nowhere to go.
• A might have lived a long, eventful life, and B might be young and
inexperienced.
• A might be passionately concerned with the subject and B indifferent to it.
Notice how the model in Figure 1-1 (page 7) shows that the environments of
the sender and receiver overlap. This area represents the background that the com-
municators must have in common. As the shared environment becomes smaller,
communication becomes more difficult. Consider a few examples in which differ-
ent perspectives can make understanding difficult:
• Bosses who have trouble understanding the perspective of their employees
will be less effective managers, and workers who do not appreciate the chal-
lenges of being a boss are more likely to be uncooperative (and probably less
suitable for advancement).
• Parents who have trouble recalling their youth are likely to clash with their
children, who have never known and may not appreciate the responsibility
that comes with parenting.
• Members of a dominant culture who have never experienced how it feels to
be outside of it may not appreciate the concerns of people from nondomi-
nant cocultures, who may not have experienced how it feels to be in the
majority.
Differing environments make understanding others challenging but certainly
not impossible. Hard work and many of the skills described in this book pro-
vide ways to bridge the gap that separates all of us to a greater or lesser degree.
For now, recognizing the challenge that comes from dissimilar environments is a
good start. You can’t solve a problem until you recognize that it exists.
A Transactional Model Because of its simplicity, the linear model does not effectively
represent the way most communication operates. The transactional communication
model in Figure 1-2 (page 10) presents a more accurate picture in several respects.
Most notably, the transactional model shows that sending and receiving are
simultaneous. Although some types of mass communication do flow in a one-way,
linear manner, most types of personal communication are two-way exchanges.
The roles of sender and receiver that seemed separate in the linear model are now
superimposed and redefined as those of communicators. This new term reflects the
fact that at a given moment we are capable of receiving, decoding, and responding
to another person’s behavior, while at the same time that other person is receiving
and responding to ours.
Consider, for instance, the significance of a friend’s yawn as you describe your
romantic problems. Or imagine the blush you may see as you tell one of your
raunchier jokes to a new acquaintance. Nonverbal behaviors like these show that
most face-to-face communication is a two-way affair. The discernible response of
a receiver to a sender’s message is called feedback. Not all feedback is nonverbal,
of course. Sometimes it is oral, as when you ask an instructor questions about an
upcoming test or volunteer your opinion of a friend’s new haircut. In other cases
it is written, as when you answer the questions on a midterm exam or respond to
a letter from a friend. Figure 1-2 makes the importance of feedback clear. It shows
that most communication is, indeed, a two-way affair.
transactional communication
model A characterization of communi-
cation as the simultaneous sending and
receiving of messages in an ongoing,
irreversible process.
feedback The discernible response of a
receiver to a sender’s message.
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Some forms of mediated communication,
such as email and text messaging, don’t appear
to be simultaneous. Even here, though, the
process is more complicated than the linear
model suggests. For example, if you’ve ever
waited impatiently for the response to a text
message or instant message (IM), you under-
stand that even a nonresponse can have sym-
bolic meaning. Is the unresponsive recipient
busy? Thoughtful? Offended? Indifferent?
Whether or not your interpretation is accurate,
the silence is a form of communication.
Another weakness of the traditional linear
model is the questionable assumption that all
communication involves encoding. We cer-
tainly choose symbols to convey most verbal messages. But what about the many
nonverbal cues that occur whether or not people speak: facial expressions, gestures,
postures, vocal tones, and so on? Cues like these clearly do offer information about
others, although they are often unconscious and thus don’t involve encoding. For
this reason, the transactional model replaces the term encodes with the broader term
responds, because it describes both intentional and unintentional actions that can be
observed and interpreted.
Types of Communication
Within the domain of human interaction, there are several types of communica-
tion. Each occurs in a different context. Despite the features they all share, each
has its own characteristics.
Intrapersonal Communication
By definition, intrapersonal communication means “communicating with one-
self.”8 One way that each of us communicates internally is by listening to the little
voice in our mind. Take a moment and listen to what it is saying. Try it now, before
reading on. Did you hear it? It may have been saying something like, “What little
voice? I don’t have any little voice!” This voice is the “sound” of your thinking.
Rather than listening to other people’s definitions of success, Tony Hsieh tunes
in to his own thoughts. “I made a list of the happiest periods in my life, and I real-
ized that none of them involved money,” he says.9 Instead, relationships emerged
as his prime source of satisfaction. “Connecting with a friend and talking through
the entire night until the sun rose made me happy,” says Hsieh. “Trick-or-treating
in middle school with a group of my closest friends made me happy.” As a result,
he made interacting with friends a priority in his life.
The way we mentally process information influences our interaction with
others. Even though intrapersonal communication doesn’t include other people
directly and may not be apparent, it does affect almost every type of interaction.
You can understand the role of intrapersonal communication by imagining your
thoughts in each of the following situations:
• You are planning to approach a stranger whom you would like to get to
know better.
• You pause a minute and look at the audience before beginning a 10-minute
speech.
• The boss yawns while you are asking for a raise.
Transactional Communication Model
Communicator Communicator
Responds
RespondsDecodes
Decodes
Communicator’s
Environment
Communicator’s
Environment
Noise
Messages
FIGURE 1-2 Transactional Communication
Model
intrapersonal communication
Communication that occurs within a
single person.
Types of Communication 11
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 11 10/06/16 12:52 PM
• A friend seems irritated lately, and you’re not sure whether you are
responsible.
The way you handle all of these situations would depend on the intraper-
sonal communication that precedes or accompanies your overt behavior. Much
of Chapter 2 deals with the perception process in everyday situations, and part
of Chapter 13 focuses on the intrapersonal communication that can minimize
anxiety when you deliver a speech.
Dyadic/Interpersonal Communication
Social scientists call two persons interacting a dyad, and they often use the term
dyadic communication to describe this type of communication. Dyadic com-
munication can occur in person or via mediated channels that include telephone,
email, text messaging, instant messaging, and social networking websites.
Dyadic is the most common type of personal communication. It is also one
of the most powerful predictors of relationship quality. Researchers in one study
found that they could reliably predict whether family members were satisfied with
each other by studying how they joked around, shared news of their day, and dis-
cussed their relationships together.10 Even communication within larger groups
(think of classrooms, parties, and work environments as examples) often consists
of multiple, shifting dyadic encounters.
Dyadic interaction is sometimes considered identical to interpersonal
communication, but as Chapter 7 explains, not all two-person interaction can
be considered interpersonal in the fullest sense of the word. In fact, you will
learn that the qualities that characterize interpersonal communication aren’t
limited to twosomes. They can be present in threesomes or even in small groups.
Dyadic relationships are as important in business as in personal life. At
Zappos, staffers are not evaluated on how many calls they field or how much mer-
chandise they sell, but on the quality of the one-on-one relationships they build
with customers. They are encouraged to get to know callers and to spend time
exceeding their expectations, even when the result is not a direct sale. The effect is
that the company’s customer service reputation is exceptionally high, increasing
the likelihood of future sales.
Small Group Communication
Small groups are a fixture of everyday life. Your family is an example. So are
an athletic team, a team of coworkers in several time zones who communicate
online, and a team working on a class project. In small group communication,
every person can participate actively with the other members.
Whether small groups meet in person or via mediated channels, they possess
characteristics that are not present in a dyad. For instance, in a group, the ma-
jority of members can put pressure on those in the minority to conform, either
consciously or unconsciously, but in a dyad no such majority pressure exists. Con-
formity pressures can also be comforting, leading group members to take risks
that they would not dare to take if they were alone or in a dyad. With their greater
size, groups also have the ability to be more creative than dyads. Finally, commu-
nication in groups is affected strongly by the type of leader who is in a position of
authority. Groups are such an important communication setting that Chapters 9
and 10 focus exclusively on them.
Organizational Communication
Larger, more permanent collections of people engage in organizational
communication when they work collectively to achieve goals. Organizations
operate for a variety of reasons: commercial (e.g., corporations), nonprofit (e.g.,
Dyadic communication is arguably the
context in which most close relationships
operate.
How are your dyadic relationships—
with friends, romantic partners, and
even strangers—maintained through
communication? What channels do you
use?
dyad A two-person unit.
dyadic communication Two-person
communication.
interpersonal communication Com-
munication in which the parties consider
one another as unique individuals rather
than as objects. It is characterized by
minimal use of stereotyped labels;
unique, idiosyncratic social rules; and a
high degree of information exchange.
small group communication Com-
munication within a group of a size
such that every member can participate
actively with the other members.
organizational communica-
tion Communication that occurs
among a structured collection of people
in order to meet a need or pursue a goal.
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why12
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 12 10/06/16 12:52 PM
charities and religious groups), political (e.g., government or political action
groups), health-related (e.g., hospitals and doctor’s offices), and even recreational
(e.g., sports leagues).
Zappos has built a work environment designed to nurture teamwork, happi-
ness, and individuality. The open floor plan encourages ongoing communication,
and Hsieh supports a “no job title, no hierarchy” approach in which associates
work together to foster continual improvement and innovation based on their
own ideas, not managers’.19
Regardless of the context, the unique qualities of organizational communica-
tion make it worth studying. For example, it involves specific roles (e.g., sales as-
sociate, general manager, corporate trainer) that shape what people communicate
about and their relationships with one another. It also involves complex and fas-
cinating communication networks. As you’ll read in Chapter 3, each organization
develops its own culture, and analyzing the traditions and customs of organiza-
tions is a useful field of study.
@Work
Communication Skills and Career Success
Regardless of the job, people spend most of their working
lives communicating.11 Consider emails: The average worker
receives nearly 12,000 every year and spends the equivalent
of 111 workdays responding to them.12 Combine that with
telephone and face-to-face conversations, instant messag-
ing, team meetings, videoconferences, presentations, and
many other types of interaction, and you’ll see that commu-
nication is at the heart of the workplace.13
On-the-job communication isn’t just frequent; it’s essential
for success. Most adults recognize this fact. In one survey,
more than 3,000 U.S. adults were asked what skills they be-
lieve are most important “to get ahead in the world today.”
Across the board, communication skills topped the list—
ahead of math, writing, logic, and scientific ability.14
Communication skills are more important today than ever.
The only jobs that have shown consistent wage growth over
the last two decades are those that require social skills, all of
which involve communication.15 Traditional middle-skill jobs,
such as clerical or factory work, have been largely replaced
or made scarce by technology. High-wage, high-demand
jobs combine technical and interpersonal expertise: Think
physical therapy, general contracting, computer program-
ming (usually a team endeavor), and medicine.16
Employers also recognize that communication skills are
indispensable. In an annual survey, representatives from a
wide range of industries ranked the “ability to verbally com-
municate with persons inside and outside the organization”
as the most essential skill for career success. In fact, commu-
nication skill was rated as more important than “technical
knowledge related to the job.”17 Other research reinforces
the value of communication. An analysis of almost 15
million job advertisements from across all occupations
revealed that the ability to speak and write effectively were
the most requested skills, identified twice as often as any
other quality.18
Evidence like this makes it clear that communication skills
can make the difference between a successful and a disap-
pointing career. For more on increasing your efficiency and
productivity at work, see Communicating for Career Success at
www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
Communication in a Changing World 13
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 13 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Public Communication
Public communication occurs when a group becomes too
large for all members to contribute. One characteristic of
public communication is an unequal amount of speaking.
One or more people are likely to deliver their remarks to
the remaining members, who act as an audience. This leads
to a second characteristic of public settings: limited verbal
feedback. The audiences aren’t able to talk back in a two-
way conversation the way they might in a dyadic or small
group setting. This doesn’t mean that speakers operate in
a vacuum when delivering their remarks. Audiences often
have a chance to ask questions and offer brief comments,
and their nonverbal reactions offer a wide range of clues
about their reception of the speaker’s remarks.
Public speakers usually have a greater chance to plan
and structure their remarks than do communicators in
smaller settings. For this reason, several chapters of this
book describe the steps you can take to prepare and deliver
an effective speech.
Mass Communication
Mass communication consists of messages that are transmitted
to large, widespread audiences via electronic and print media:
newspapers, magazines, television, radio, blogs, websites, and
so on. As you can see in the Mass Communication section of this book’s companion
website (www.oup.com/us/adleruhc), this type of communication differs from the
interpersonal, small group, organizational, and public varieties in several ways.
• First, most mass messages are aimed at a large audience without any per-
sonal contact between sender and receivers.
• Second, many of the messages sent via mass communication channels are
developed, or at least financed, by large organizations. In this sense, mass
communication is far less personal and more of a product than the other
types of communication we have examined so far.
• Finally, although blogs have given ordinary people the chance to reach
enormous audiences, the bulk of mass messages are still controlled by cor-
porate, media, and governmental sources that determine what messages
will be delivered to consumers, how they will be constructed, and when
they will be delivered.
Communication in a
Changing World
Over the past several decades, the nature of communication has changed dramati-
cally. Today we are equipped with a range of communication technologies that,
even two decades ago, would have been the stuff of fantasy and science fiction.
Yet along with the technological opportunities in today’s world, communica-
tion challenges abound. How do we use the newest communication tools in ways
that make life richer rather than simply busier? How can we deal with people
whose communication practices differ dramatically from our own? This section
will provide some tools to help answer these questions.
public communication Communica-
tion that occurs when a group becomes
too large for all members to contribute.
It is characterized by an unequal amount
of speaking and by limited verbal
feedback.
mass communication The transmis-
sion of messages to large, usually wide-
spread audiences via broadcast, print,
multimedia, and other forms of media,
such as recordings and movies.
Lizzie Velasquez was once taunted online as “the world’s ugliest
woman,” and online trolls urged her to kill herself. Instead, she has
become a successful motivational speaker. Her speech “How Do You
Define Yourself?” has been viewed more than 10 million times on
YouTube.
What would you talk about if you had the microphone and an attentive
group of listeners?
cultural idiom
operate in a vacuum: operate
independently of outside
influences
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why14
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 14 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Changing Technology
Figure 1-3 shows that communication technology is changing more rapidly than
ever before. For most of human history, face-to-face speech was the primary form
of communication. Writing developed approximately 5,000 years ago, but until
the last few centuries, the vast majority of people were illiterate. In most societ-
ies only a small elite class mastered the arts of reading and writing. Books were
scarce, and the amount of information available was small. Speaking and listen-
ing were the predominant communication “technologies.”
By the mid-18th century, literacy grew in industrial societies, giving ordinary
people access to ideas that had been available only to the most privileged. By the
end of the 19th century, affordable rail travel increased mobility, and the telegraph
made possible transmission of both news and personal messages over vast distances.
The first half of the 20th century introduced a burst of communication tech-
nology. The invention of the telephone extended the reach of both personal and
business relationships. Radio and, later, television gave mass audiences a taste of
the wider world. Information was no longer a privilege of the elite class.
By the dawn of the 21st century, cellular technologies and the Internet broad-
ened the ability to communicate even further, beyond the dreams of earlier gen-
erations. Pocket-sized telephones made it cheap and easy to talk, send data, and
exchange images with people around the globe. Now, new fiber-optic technology
allows for more than 150 million phone calls every second.20 Videoconferencing
is another channel for remote connection, allowing us to see one another’s facial
cues, body movements, and gestures almost as if we were face-to-face.
The accelerating pace of innovations in communication technology is aston-
ishing: It took 38 years for radio to reach 50 million listeners. It took television
only 13 years to capture the same number of viewers. It took less than 4 years for
the Internet to attract 50 million users. Facebook added 100 million users in less
than 9 months.21
ASK YOURSELF
How have techno-
logical changes in your
lifetime affected the
way you communicate
with people?
?
The Accelerating Pace of Communication Technology
Face-to-Face Communication
For most of human history,
face-to-face speech was the primary
form of communication. Speaking
and listening were the predominant
communication “technologies.”
Literate Populations
By the mid-eighteenth century,
literacy had developed in industrial
societies, giving ordinary people
access to ideas that had been
available only to the most privileged.
Phones, Radio, and Television
Telephones reduced distance,
expanding the reach of both personal
relationships and commerce. Radio and
later, television gave mass audiences a
taste of the wider world. Information
was no a privilege of the elite.
1963: First communication satellite
1936: Regular TV broadcasts (London)
1920: First radio broadcast
1876: First telephone demonstrated
1843: Long-distance telegraph
Into the Future
Analysis predicts that we may one
day communicate via lifelike
holograms and have embedded
implants that allow us to exchange
messages via brainwaves.
Digital Age
By the dawn of the 21st
century, communication
technology had expanded
beyond the dreams of
earlier generations.
2015: Wearable technologies become ubiquitous
2010: Tablets enhance mobile computing
2009: Smartphone sales top 170 million
2006: Twitter launched
2005: YouTube.com appears online
1997: First social network (SixDegrees.com)
1996: Instant messaging developed
1994: Personal blogging begins
1992: First text message sent
1991: World Wide Web begins
1981: IBM markets –rst personal computer
1975: First microcomputer, the Altair 8800
1973: First cell phone call
1972: First email with “@” in address
1969: ARPANET (forerunner to Internet)
Trains, Telegraphs, Mail Service
By the end of the nineteenth
century, affordable rail travel
increased mobility and the
telegraph enabled the transmission
of news and personal messages
across vast distances.
Writing
Writing developed about 5,000 years ago but until the
past few centuries, the vast majority of people were
illiterate and books were scarce.
1620: Sign language (Spain)
1605: First newspaper (Germany)
1450: First metal movable-type printing press (Germany)
868: First surviving book printed (China)
105: Paper invented (China)
300: World’s –rst library (Egypt)
776: Carrier pigeons (Greece)
900: First postal service (China)
3000+: Writing invented
AD
BC
3000+ BC 1700s 1800s 1900s 2000s
c.
FIGURE 1-3 The Accelerating Pace of Communication Technology
Communication in a Changing World 15
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 15 10/06/16 12:52 PM
Changing Discipline
The study of communication has evolved to reflect the changing world. The first
systematic analysis of how to communicate effectively was Aristotle’s Rhetoric,
written about 2,500 years ago.22 The ancient philosopher set forth specific criteria
for effective speaking (called the “Canons of Rhetoric”), which still can be used to
judge effective public communication. In various forms, rhetoric has been part of
a classical liberal arts education since Aristotle’s era. Today it is commonly taught
in public speaking courses that are offered in most colleges and universities.
In the early 20th century, the study of communication expanded from the
liberal arts, where it had been housed for more than 2,000 years, and began to
capture the attention of social scientists. As persuasive messages began to reach
large numbers of people via print, film, and broadcasting, scholars began to study
how mediated messages shaped attitudes and behaviors. During and after World
War II, the effectiveness of government propaganda was an important focus of
research.23 Since then, media effects has become one of the most widely studied
areas in the field of communication.
In the 1950s, researchers began asking questions about human relationships
in family and work settings, marking the beginning of research on small group
communication.24 The analysis of decision making and other small group com-
munication processes emerged as a major area of study in the field and continues
today.
In the 1960s, social scientists expanded their focus to study how communica-
tion operates in personal relationships.25 Since then, scholars have studied a wide
range of phenomena, including how relationships develop, the nature of social
support, the role of emotions, how honesty and deception operate, and how new
technologies affect interpersonal relationships. Other branches of the discipline
examine how health care providers and clients interact, the influence of gender
on interaction, and how people from different backgrounds communicate with
The Accelerating Pace of Communication Technology
Face-to-Face Communication
For most of human history,
face-to-face speech was the primary
form of communication. Speaking
and listening were the predominant
communication “technologies.”
Literate Populations
By the mid-eighteenth century,
literacy had developed in industrial
societies, giving ordinary people
access to ideas that had been
available only to the most privileged.
Phones, Radio, and Television
Telephones reduced distance,
expanding the reach of both personal
relationships and commerce. Radio and
later, television gave mass audiences a
taste of the wider world. Information
was no a privilege of the elite.
1963: First communication satellite
1936: Regular TV broadcasts (London)
1920: First radio broadcast
1876: First telephone demonstrated
1843: Long-distance telegraph
Into the Future
Analysis predicts that we may one
day communicate via lifelike
holograms and have embedded
implants that allow us to exchange
messages via brainwaves.
Digital Age
By the dawn of the 21st
century, communication
technology had expanded
beyond the dreams of
earlier generations.
2015: Wearable technologies become ubiquitous
2010: Tablets enhance mobile computing
2009: Smartphone sales top 170 million
2006: Twitter launched
2005: YouTube.com appears online
1997: First social network (SixDegrees.com)
1996: Instant messaging developed
1994: Personal blogging begins
1992: First text message sent
1991: World Wide Web begins
1981: IBM markets –rst personal computer
1975: First microcomputer, the Altair 8800
1973: First cell phone call
1972: First email with “@” in address
1969: ARPANET (forerunner to Internet)
Trains, Telegraphs, Mail Service
By the end of the nineteenth
century, affordable rail travel
increased mobility and the
telegraph enabled the transmission
of news and personal messages
across vast distances.
Writing
Writing developed about 5,000 years ago but until the
past few centuries, the vast majority of people were
illiterate and books were scarce.
1620: Sign language (Spain)
1605: First newspaper (Germany)
1450: First metal movable-type printing press (Germany)
868: First surviving book printed (China)
105: Paper invented (China)
300: World’s –rst library (Egypt)
776: Carrier pigeons (Greece)
900: First postal service (China)
3000+: Writing invented
AD
BC
3000+ BC 1700s 1800s 1900s 2000s
c.
The 1930s cartoon detective Dick
Tracy communicated with a two-way
wristwatch radio. Such a device
seemed like science fiction to earlier
generations, but even more sophisticated
technologies are commonplace today.
Think about the communication
technologies you use. How would your
life be different without them?
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why16
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 16 10/06/16 12:52 PM
one another, to name just a few areas.
The scope of the field has expanded far
beyond its rhetorical roots.
Understanding
Social Media
Given that Tony Hsieh has 3 million
Twitter followers and is CEO of an
online company, you might assume that
he loves social media. You’d only be
partially correct, however. The Zappos
leader says he loves what social media
can accomplish under the right condi-
tions, but he is adamant that it’s only
a tool, and sometimes not the most ef-
fective one. “As unsexy and low-tech as
it may sound, our belief is that the tele-
phone is one of the best branding devices
out there,” Hsieh says.26 He emphasizes what he calls a personal emotional connec-
tion, which may happen online but is more common in real-time encounters.
In this section, we consider how to use social media effectively and when to
set it aside in favor of other communication channels. Until recently, when people
heard the word media, they most likely thought of television, radio, and other
forms of mass communication. But today, not all media are aimed at mass audi-
ences. The term Web 2.0 is often used to describe how the Internet has evolved
from a one-way medium into what one scholar called a masspersonal phenom-
enon.27 Individual users now interact in a host of ways that include social net-
working sites, video- and photo-sharing services, and blogs. If you blog, tweet,
post photos on a website such as Tumblr, or maintain a page on Facebook or some
other social networking site, you have experience with Web 2.0. You’re not only a
consumer of mediated messages but a creator of them.
As the name suggests, people use social media for personal reasons, often to
reach small groups of receivers. You’re using social media when you exchange text
messages, emails, and instant messages, and when you use social networking web-
sites such as Facebook and Google+. As mentioned earlier, the number of social
media technologies has exploded in the past few decades, giving communicators
today an array of choices that would have amazed someone from a previous era.
Social media are different from the mass variety in some important ways.
Most obvious is the variable size of the target audience. Whereas the mass media are
aimed at large audiences, the intended audience in social media can vary. On one
hand, you typically address emails, text messages, and IMs to a single receiver, or
maybe a few. In fact, you’d probably be embarrassed to have some of your per-
sonal messages circulate more widely. On the other hand, blogs, tweets, and other
postings are often aimed at much larger groups of receivers.
Unlike mass media, social media are interactive: The recipients of your mes-
sages can—and usually do—talk back. About two-thirds of teens say they have
made new friends online, and 9 in 10 say they keep in touch with established
friends via technology.28 The photo-sharing service Snapchat is a good example.
It allows users to spontaneously send in-the-moment experiences with friends
and followers, who can easily respond with photos of their own.29 This sort of
back-and-forth sharing reflects the difference between traditional print media, in
Web 2.0 The Internet’s evolution from
a one-way medium into a “massper-
sonal” phenomenon.
social media Digital communication
channels used primarily for personal
reasons, often to reach small groups of
receivers.
Source: Alex Gregory The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
Understanding Social Media 17
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which communication is essentially one way, and far more
interactive web-based social media.
Unlike traditional forms of mass communication, social
media are also distinguished by user-generated content. You
decide what goes on your page and what topics are covered.
There aren’t any market researchers to tell you what the au-
dience wants. No staff writers, editors, designers, or market-
ers craft your message. It’s all you.
Despite these characteristics, the boundary between
mass and interpersonal communication isn’t as clear as it
might first seem. Consider, for example, YouTube and other
streaming video websites. They provide a way for individu-
als to publish their own content (e.g., your graduation or a
baby’s first birthday party) for a limited number of inter-
ested viewers. On the other hand, some videos go “viral,”
receiving thousands or even millions of hits. For example,
YouTube videos by skateboard enthusiast Andrew Shrock
have been viewed 160 million times.30
Twitter is another example of the fuzzy boundary be-
tween personal and mass media. Many people broadcast up-
dates to a rather small group of interested parties. (“I’m at
the concert—Great seats!”) On the other hand, millions of
fans follow the tweets of favorite celebrities. Twitter offers an interesting blend of
messages from real friends and celebrities, “strangely intimate and at the same time
celebrity-obsessed,” as one observer put it. “You glance at your Twitter feed over that
first cup of coffee, and in a few seconds you find out that your nephew got into med
school and Shaquille O’Neal just finished a cardio workout in Phoenix.”31
Blogs also straddle the categories of mass and social media. Some are highly
personal: You can set one up and share your opinions with anybody who cares to
read them. Others (such as the Huffington Post, the Daily Beast, and Bloomberg)
are much closer to traditional mass media, published regularly and reaching audi-
ences numbering in the hundreds of thousands.
Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication
As Figure 1-4 shows, both face-to-face and mediated channels are important ways
to communicate. What does in-person communication have in common with the
mediated options? How is it different?
In some ways, mediated and face-to-face commu-
nication are quite similar. Both include the elements
described on pages 7–10: senders, receivers, channels,
feedback, and so on. Both are used to satisfy physical,
identity, social, and practical needs, as we discuss in the
next section. Despite these similarities, the two forms
of communication differ in some important ways.
Message Richness Social scientists use the term
richness to describe the abundance of nonverbal cues
that add clarity to a verbal message. As Chapter 6 ex-
plains in detail, face-to-face communication is rich
because it abounds with nonverbal messages that give
communicators cues about the meanings of one an-
other’s words and offer hints about their feelings.32 By
comparison, most mediated communication is a much
leaner channel for conveying information.
People may use social media to get information, connect with others,
and be entertained.
What are the most common ways you use social media? How well do
these satisfy your personal and practical needs?
% of all teens who spend time with friends
25%
55
In person
EVERY DAY EVERY FEW DAYS LESS OFTEN
Text messaging
Talking on the phone
Instant messaging
On social media sites
Emailing
Video chatting
Video gaming
On messaging apps
19
27
23
6
7
14
14
13 16 24
14 11 17
37
43
28 21
26 25
24 41
20 13
39% 32%
FIGURE 1-4 Media Used to Keep in Touch with Friends
richness A term used to describe the
abundance of nonverbal cues that add
clarity to a verbal message.
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Synchronicity Communication that occurs in real time, such as through in-
person or phone conversations, is synchronous. By contrast, asynchronous
communication occurs when there’s a lag between receiving and responding
to messages. Voice mail messages are asynchronous. So are “snail mail” letters,
emails, and Twitter postings. When you respond to asynchronous messages, you
have more time to carefully consider your wording or to ask others for advice about
what to say. You might even choose not to respond at all. You can ignore most
problematic text messages without much fallout. But that isn’t a good option if the
person who wants an answer gets you on the phone or confronts you in person.
Permanence What happens in a face-to-face conversation is transitory. By con-
trast, the text and video you send via hard copy or mediated channels can be stored
indefinitely and forwarded to others. Sometimes permanence is useful. For ex-
ample, you might want a record documenting your boss’s permission for time off
work. In other cases, though, permanence can work against you. You probably
wish you could delete an email sent in anger or embarrassing photos posted online.
How People Use Social Media
In the mid-20th century, researchers began to study the question, “What do media
do to people?” They sought answers by measuring the effects of print and broad-
cast media on users. Did programming influence viewers’ use of physical violence?
Did it affect academic success? What about family communication patterns?
In the following decades, researchers began to explore a different question:
“What do people do with media?”33 This branch of study became known as uses
and gratifications theory. In the digital age, researchers continue to explore how we
use both social media and face-to-face communication.
The uses listed there fall into four broad categories:34
1. Information: Asking questions such as: What do people think of a new film
or musical group? Can anybody trade work hours this weekend? Is there a
good Honda mechanic nearby? Can your network provide leads on getting
your dream job?
2. Personal relationships: Seeing what your friends are up to, tracking down
old classmates, announcing changes in your life to the people in your per-
sonal networks, and finding a romantic partner.
3. Personal identity: Observing others as models to help you become more ef-
fective, getting insights about yourself from trusted others, and asserting your
personal values and getting feedback from others.
4. Entertainment: Gaming online with a friend, sharing your music playlists
with others, joining the fan base of your favorite star, and finding interest or
activity groups to join.
Functions of Communication
So why do we speak, listen, read, write, and text so much? There’s a good reason:
Communication satisfies many of our needs.
Physical Needs
Communication is so important that it is necessary for physical health. Lonely people
typically experience abnormally high levels of pain, depression, and fatigue.35 An
absence of satisfying communication can even jeopardize life itself. People who feel
socially isolated tend to become ill and die at younger ages than their than more
socially engaged peers.36 The reasons for this are numerous. Evidence suggests that
synchronous communication Com-
munication that occurs in real time.
asynchronous communica-
tion Communication that occurs when
there’s a lag between receiving and
responding to messages.
ASK YOURSELF
How does the
amount and nature
of your mediated
communication
affect your in-person
relationships?
?
Functions of Communication 19
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loneliness not only affects people at a psychological level; the stress can actually
cause changes in their body chemistry and compromise their immune systems.37
Identity Needs
Communication does more than enable us to survive. It is how we learn who we
are. As you’ll read in Chapter 2, our sense of identity comes from the way we in-
teract with other people.
Deprived of communication with others, we would have no sense of identity.
This fact is illustrated by the case of the famous “Wild Boy of Aveyron,” who spent
his early childhood without any apparent human contact. The boy was discovered
in 1800 while digging for vegetables in a French village garden.38 He showed no
behaviors one would expect in a social human. The boy could not speak but ut-
tered only weird cries. More significant than this absence of social skills was his
lack of any identity as a human being. As author Roger Shattuck put it, “the boy
had no human sense of being in the world. He had no sense of himself as a person
related to other persons.”39 Only after the influence of a loving “mother” did the
boy begin to behave—and, we can imagine, think of himself as a human. Con-
temporary stories support the essential role that communication plays in shap-
ing identity. In 1970, authorities discovered a 12-year-old girl (whom they called
Genie) who had spent virtually all her life in an otherwise empty, darkened bed-
room with almost no human contact. The child could not speak and had no sense
of herself as a person until she was removed from her family and “nourished” by
a team of caregivers.40
Like Genie and the boy of Aveyron, each of us enters the world with little or no
sense of identity. We gain an idea of who we are from the ways others define us. As
Chapter 3 explains, the messages we receive in early childhood are the strongest,
but the influence of others continues throughout life. Chapter 3 also explains how
we use communication to manage the way others view us.
Social Needs
Besides helping define who we are, communication provides a vital link with
others. Researchers and theorists have identified a range of social needs we satisfy
by communicating: pleasure (e.g., “because it’s fun,” “to have a good time”); af-
fection (e.g., “to help others,” “to let others know I care”); inclusion (e.g., “because
I need someone to talk to or be with,” “because it makes me less lonely”); escape
(e.g., “to put off doing something I should be doing”); relaxation (e.g., “because it
allows me to unwind”); and control (e.g., “because I want someone to do some-
thing for me,” “to get something I don’t have”).41
Tony Hsieh, who is just shy of billionaire status, gave up his condo a few years
ago in favor of a simpler, more communication-oriented lifestyle. He and his pet
alpaca now live in a luxury trailer in a Las Vegas mobile home park.42 Living in
homes with around 200 square feet of living space each isn’t a hardship for Hsieh
or his neighbors, he says, because they spend most of their “at home” time to-
gether at the park’s campfire area and community kitchen.
As you look at this list of social needs for communicating, imagine how empty
your life would be if these needs weren’t satisfied. Then notice that it would be
impossible to fulfill them without communicating with others. Because relation-
ships with others are so vital, some theorists have gone as far as to argue that
communication is the primary goal of human existence. Anthropologist Walter
Goldschmidt terms the drive for meeting social needs as the “human career.”43
Practical Needs
We shouldn’t overlook the everyday, important functions that communication
serves. Communication is the tool that lets us tell the hair stylist to take just a
Whether it’s explaining where it
hurts, giving instructions, offering an
explanation, or conveying a host of other
messages, communication is essential
to getting your needs met and gaining
others’ cooperation.
How could you meet practical needs
better by improving your communication
skills?
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little off the sides, direct the doctor to where it hurts, and inform the plumber that
the broken pipe needs attention now!
Beyond these obvious needs, a wealth of research demonstrates that commu-
nication is an important key to effectiveness in a variety of everyday settings. For
example, at least 4 of the top 10 qualities employers look for in job candidates in-
volve communication. These include the ability to work well with team members,
verbally communicate with people, write well, and influence others.44
Communication is just as important outside of work. People are typically hap-
piest with friends they consider to be good communicators45 and with romantic
partners who are good listeners and who share personal feelings and informa-
tion.46 Communication comes in many forms. A hug, gesture, or meaningful look
can be as powerful as words. A college student interviewed in one study describes
what happened during a memorable argument with her sister: “This one day when
she brought up one of her concerns I just ignored her. To my surprise she stopped
nagging me and then began to cry. . . . Because she cried, I realized how important
the issue was. It changed my perspective and now I always try to listen.”47
Communication Competence: What
Makes an Effective Communicator?
It’s easy to recognize good communicators, and even easier to spot poor ones. But
what are the characteristics that distinguish effective communicators from their
less successful counterparts? Answering this question has been one of the leading
challenges for communication scholars. Although all the answers aren’t yet in,
research has identified a great deal of important and useful information about
communication competence.
Communication Competence Defined
Although scholars are still working to clarify the nature of communication
competence, most would agree that effective communication involves achieving
one’s goals in a manner that, ideally, maintains or enhances the relationship in
which it occurs.48 This definition suggests several important characteristics of com-
munication competence. To take a closer look at the ways you communicate well
and how you might improve, fill out the “Strengths and Goals” self-assessment on
page 22 and/or ask a friend to rate you on the communication dimensions listed. As
you think about the results, notice how they reflect the following principles.
There Is No “Ideal” Way to Communicate A variety of communication styles can
be effective. Keep in mind that certain types of communication may succeed in
one situation yet fail in another. The joking insults you routinely trade with a
friend might be insensitive and discouraging if he or she had just suffered a per-
sonal setback. Similarly, the language you use with your peers might offend a
family member. For this reason, being a competent communicator requires flex-
ibility in understanding what approach is likely to work best in a given situation.
Competence Is Situational Because competent behavior varies so much from
one situation and person to another, it’s a mistake to think that communication
competence is a trait that a person either possesses or lacks. It’s more accurate to
talk about degrees or areas of competence. You and the people you know are prob-
ably quite competent in some areas and less so in others. You might deal quite
skillfully with peers, for example, but feel clumsy interacting with people much
older or younger, wealthier or poorer, or more or less attractive than yourself. In
fact, your competence with one person may vary from one situation to another.
communication competence The
ability to maintain a relationship on
terms acceptable to all parties.
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This means that it’s an overgeneralization to say, in a moment of distress, “I’m a
terrible communicator!” It would be more accurate to say, “I didn’t handle this
situation very well, even though I’m better in others.”
Competence Is Relational Because communication is transactional, something
we do with others rather than to them, behavior that is competent in one relation-
ship isn’t necessarily competent in others.
An early study on relational satisfaction illustrated that what constitutes sat-
isfying communication varies from one relationship to another.49 Researchers
Brant Burleson and Wendy Sampter hypothesized that people with sophisticated
communication skills (such as managing conflict well, giving ego support to
others, and providing comfort to relational partners) would be better at maintain-
ing friendships than would be less skilled communicators. To their surprise, the
results did not support this hypothesis. In fact, friendships were most satisfying
when partners possessed matching skill levels. Apparently, relational satisfaction
arises in part when our style matches those of the people with whom we interact.
The same principle holds true in the case of jealousy. People deal with jealousy
in a variety of ways, including keeping close tabs on the partner, acting indifferent,
decreasing affection, talking the matter over, and acting angry. Researchers have
found that no type of behavior is effective or ineffective in every relationship.50
Approaches that work well with some people are hurtful to others. Findings like
these demonstrate that competence arises out of developing ways of interacting
that work for you and for the other people involved.
Competence Can Be Learned To some degree, biology is destiny when it comes
to communication style.51 Studies of identical and fraternal twins suggest that
traits including sociability, anger, and relaxation seem to be partially a function
of our genetic makeup. Fortunately, biology isn’t the only factor that shapes how
we communicate: Communication is a set of skills that anyone can learn. Even
one of the most universally feared communication challenges, public speaking,
becomes easier with training. College students who practice giving speeches and
receive helpful feedback are significantly less likely than their peers to feel anx-
ious about public speaking in the future.52 Even without systematic training, it’s
possible to develop communication skills through the processes of trial and error
and observation. We learn from our own successes and failures, as well as from
observing other models—both positive and negative.
Characteristics of Competent Communicators
Although competent communication varies from one situation to another, schol-
ars have identified several common denominators that characterize effective com-
munication in most contexts.
A Wide Range of Behaviors Effective communicators are able to choose their
actions from a wide range of behaviors. To understand the importance of having a
large communication repertoire, imagine that someone you know repeatedly tells
jokes—perhaps discriminatory ones—that you find offensive. You could respond
to these jokes in a number of ways. You could:
• Say nothing, figuring that the risks of bringing the subject up would be
greater than the benefits.
• Ask a third party to say something to the joke teller about the offensiveness
of the jokes.
• Hint at your discomfort, hoping that your friend would get the point.
• Joke about your friend’s insensitivity, counting on humor to soften the blow
of your criticism.
ASK YOURSELF
What lessons you
have learned through
experience about
communicating
effectively?
?
cultural idioms
common denominators: features
common to several instances
counting on: depending on
soften the blow: ease the effect
The late Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple
Computer, was legendary for both
conveying his visions and abusing
subordinates. This dual nature illustrates
that communication competence is
situational.
In what situations are you most successful
as a communicator? In what situations
would you like to improve?
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S E L F A S S E S S M E N T
Your Communication Strengths and Goals
INSTRUCTIONS:
You can rate yourself on each of the items below and/or invite people who know you well to rate you.
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
Description
Your Communication Strengths and Goals
Rarely Sometimes Often
Almost
Always
1. Well informed and prepared for meetings
2. Clear and confident when expressing ideas
3. Impatient with others
4. Confident speaking before an audience
5. Good at helping people understand complex information
6. Apt to spend more time talking than listening
7. Known to text or talk on the phone during class, meetings, or
personal conversations
8. Fascinated by different customs and worldviews
9. Well organized and good at meeting deadlines
10. Instrumental in helping others reach agreement
11. In contact with a wide range of people
12. Inclined to say things in the heat of the moment and then regret it
later
13. Open to new ideas and ways of thinking
14. Attentive to implied meanings and what people convey through
body language and tone of voice
15. Intended meaning frequently misunderstood by others
16. Inclined to avoid discussing matters that involve conflict or
sensitive issues
17. Apt to interrupt others to challenge what they are saying
EVALUATING YOUR RESPONSES
Most of us are better at some forms of
communication than others. Evaluate
your scores in light of the informa-
tion below to see where you are
already strong and where you might
strengthen your communication
skills.
Listening
Three of the most common barriers to
listening are impatience, inattentive-
ness, and eagerness to defend one’s
point of view. If you scored “rarely”
on items 3, 6, 7, and 17, give yourself
a pat on the back. If not, consider how
you might build your listening skills.
Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal communication in-
volves a complicated array of skills.
If you scored “rarely” on items 3,
15, and 17, you are probably ef-
fective at expressing yourself and
taking time to negotiate meaning
with others. Likewise, if you scored
“often” or “almost always” on
item 14, you are probably tuned in
to messages that are implied but
not spoken aloud, concepts we’ll
discuss in Chapters 6 and 7. If you
scored “rarely” on item 2, you prob-
ably have a good grip on your emo-
tional reactions. However, if you
scored “often” or “almost always”
on item 16, you may be bottling up
your emotions rather than engaging
in open communication.
Diversity Awareness
If you scored “often” or “almost
always” on items 8, 11, and 13, you
have what it takes to be interculturally
competent. Curiosity and open-
mindedness are assets.
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• Express your discomfort in a straightforward way, asking your friend to
stop telling the offensive jokes, at least around you.
• Simply demand that your friend stop.
With this choice of responses at your disposal (and you can probably think of
others as well), you could pick the one that had the best chance of success. But if you
were able to use only one or two of these responses when raising a delicate issue—
always keeping quiet or always hinting, for example—your chances of success would
be much smaller. Indeed, many poor communicators are easy to spot by their lim-
ited range of responses. Some are chronic jokers. Others are always belligerent. Still
others are quiet in almost every situation. Like a piano player who knows only one
tune or a chef who can prepare only a few dishes, these people are forced to rely on a
small range of responses again and again, whether or not they are successful.
Ability to Choose the Most Appropriate Behavior Simply possessing a large
array of communication skills isn’t a guarantee of effectiveness. It’s also necessary
to know which of these skills will work best in a particular situation. Choosing
the best way to send a message is rather like choosing a gift: What is appropriate
for one person won’t be appropriate for another one at all. This ability to choose
the best approach is essential because a response that works well in one setting
would flop miserably in another one.
Although it’s impossible to say precisely how to act in every situation, there are
at least three factors to consider when you are deciding which response to choose:
the context, your goal, and the other person.
Skill at Performing Behaviors After you have chosen the most appropriate way
to communicate, it’s still necessary to perform the required skills effectively.
There is a big difference between knowing about a skill and being able to put it
into practice. Simply being aware of alternatives isn’t much help, unless you can
skillfully put these alternatives to work.
Just reading about communication skills in the following chapters won’t guar-
antee that you can start using them flawlessly. As with any other skills—playing
a musical instrument or learning a sport, for example—the road to competence
in communication is not a short one. You can expect that your first efforts at
communicating differently will be awkward. After some practice you will become
more skillful, although you will still have to think about the new way of speaking
or listening. Finally, after repeating the new skill again and again, you will find
you can perform it without conscious thought.
Empathy/Perspective Taking People have the best chance of developing an ef-
fective message when they understand the other person’s point of view. And be-
cause others aren’t always good at expressing their thoughts and feelings clearly,
the ability to imagine how an issue might look from the other’s point of view is
an important skill. The value of taking the other’s perspective suggests one reason
why listening is so important. Not only does it help us understand others, it also
gives us information to develop strategies about how to best influence them.
Group and Team Skills
If you scored high (“often” or “almost
always”) on items 1, 2, 9, and 10, you
have many of the qualities valued in
team members—preparedness, confi-
dence, patience, and diplomacy. But if
you scored high on items 3 or 6, you
may come off as intimidating or indif-
ferent at times, which can hamper
effective teamwork.
Public Speaking Skills
If you scored “often” or “almost
always” on items 2, 4, and 5, you
have an edge when it comes to public
speaking. The measure of a great
speaker is not an absence of nerves
but the ability to process information
and summon the confidence to pres-
ent it clearly and powerfully to others.
ASK YOURSELF
How do you typically
respond when some-
one says something
that makes you feel
uncomfortable, such
as telling an off-color
joke?
?
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Because empathy is such an important element of communicative competence,
much of Chapters 2 and 5 are devoted to this topic.
Cognitive Complexity Cognitive complexity is the ability to construct a variety of
frameworks for viewing an issue. Cognitive complexity is an ingredient of commu-
nication competence because it allows us to make sense of people using a variety of
perspectives. For example, if a friend tells you about something that is bothering her,
it might be most helpful if you just listen quietly. Or she might prefer that you help
her analyze and solve the problem. Or perhaps she just wants to hear that someone
understands how she feels. People who are able to choose and embody a range of lis-
tening responses based on the speaker’s needs are highly prized as good listeners.53
Self-Monitoring Psychologists use the term self-monitoring to describe the
process of paying close attention to one’s behavior and using these observa-
tions to shape the way one behaves. Unlike Calvin in the cartoon above, high
self-monitors are able to separate a part of their consciousness and observe
their behavior from a detached viewpoint, making observations such as:
“I’m making a fool out of myself.”
“I’d better speak up now.”
“This approach is working well. I’ll keep it up.”
Chapter 2 explains how too much self-monitoring can be problematic. Still,
people who are aware of their behavior and the impression it makes are more
skillful communicators than people who are low self-monitors. They tend to
adapt more readily to new work54 and school environments. By contrast, low
self-monitors are often unaware that their communication skills are lacking.55
(Calvin, in the nearby cartoon, does a nice job of illustrating this problem.)
Commitment to the Relationship One feature that distinguishes effective com-
munication in almost any context is commitment. For example, romantic couples
who frequently express their commitment to each other tend to stay together
longer and rate themselves as more satisfied than couples who are in committed
relationships but don’t talk about it much.56
Communicating Competently with Social Media
Perhaps you’ve found yourself in situations like these:
• You want to bring up a delicate issue with a friend or family member or at
work. You aren’t sure whether to do so in person, on the phone, or via some
mediated channel such as texting or email.
• You’re enjoying a film at the theater—until another moviegoer starts a cell
phone conversation.
Source: CALVIN and HOBBES © 1994 Watterson. Distributed by UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
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• A friend posts a picture of you online that you would rather others not see.
• Someone you care about is spending too much time online, crowding out
face-to-face interactions.
• Reading a text message while you walk to an appointment, you bump into
another pedestrian.
• Even though you know it’s a bad idea, you read a text message while driving
and nearly hit a cyclist.
• You are copied on an email or text message that was obviously not meant
for your eyes.
• You receive so many email messages that you have trouble meeting school
and work deadlines.
None of these situations would have existed a generation ago. They highlight
the need for a set of social agreements that go beyond the general rules of com-
municative competence outlined in this chapter. The following pages offer some
guidelines that have evolved in recent years. Although they won’t cover every situ-
ation involving mediated communication, they can help you avoid some prob-
lems and deal most effectively with others that are bound to arise.
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Dear Social Media, I Need a Little Space
Something interesting happened when tech writer Eric Griffith
left social media: nothing. “I didn’t miss out on anything world-
shaking, the globe kept on spinning,” Griffith says. “Eventually,
it felt utterly normal to not be on Twitter all the time.”57 He did,
however, experience a personal rise in productivity and unin-
terrupted time with friends. No one is suggesting a total break
from the Twitter feed. Well, some people are. But they usually
announce that via—you guessed it—social media.
Here are the most common reasons people give for
limiting time on social media:
1. To Reclaim Time and Focus
Taken to extremes, social media drains effort that
could be spent on other activities. On average, college
students spend about 3 times more time on their cell
phones than they do on school and 4 times more than
they spend on work-related activities.58,59
2. To Live in the Moment
The lure of online activities can detract from the here
and now. “How many of you have sat down for dinner
with friends or family at a restaurant, you take out your
phone to check Facebook or Twitter?” asks reformed
social media junkie Chris Mullen.60 To participate in the
online chatter, “you take a pic of everyone at dinner.
Then you tweet: ‘at din w/ fam,’” Mullen predicts. All the
while, the people closest to you (physically speaking) are
distanced from interacting with you.
3. To Give Your Ego a Break
“One of the main problems with social media is you
are often bombarded by others’ accomplishments,”
observes a writer for Elite Daily.61 It’s a distorted reality in
that few people post unflattering photos of themselves
or broadcast their failures. A steady diet of Facebook,
Twitter, and Instagram can make life can seem dull and
inadequate by comparison.
4. To Break the Approval Craving
Social media posts are often designed to get a validat-
ing response from others. That can foster an unhealthy
dependency. “If you are waiting for people to like
your status or your photos, you might be seeking and
spending a lot of time waiting on others to approve of
the online version of yourself,” warns pop culture writer
Christen Grumstrip.62
Our relationship with social media is best described
as “it’s complicated.” One online story urging people to
cut back on social media use garnered more than 2 mil-
lion Facebook likes,63 which suggests more than a little
ambivalence about that advice. And no wonder. A little
space doesn’t mean a permanent breakup. Eric Griffith,
who had quit Twitter, is now back on it. But the break
gave him a healthy perspective. As with any relationship,
he says, “when [social media] takes over your life, it’s not
a good thing.”64
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Choosing a Communication Channel
Choosing the best communication channel can make the difference between success and failure on the job. This table offers guidelines for choos-
ing the channel that is best suited for a particular situation.
SYNCHRONICITY
RICHNESS OF
INFORMATION
CONVEYED
SENDER’S
CONTROL OVER
MESSAGE
CONTROL OVER
RECEIVER’S
ATTENTION
EFFECTIVENESS
FOR DETAILED
MESSAGES
FACE-TO-FACE Synchronous High Moderate Highest Weak
TELEPHONE, TELE-
CONFERENCING, AND
VIDEOCONFERENCING
Synchronous Moderate Moderate Moderate Weak
VOICE MAIL Asynchronous Moderate High Low Weak
EMAIL Asynchronous Low High Low High
INSTANT MESSAGING Almost
synchronous
Low High Varies Weak
TEXT MESSAGING
AND TWITTER
Varies Low High (given
briefness of
message)
Low Good for brief
messages
HARD COPY (E.G.,
HANDWRITTEN OR
TYPED MESSAGE)
Asynchronous Low High Low High
Source: Adapted from R. B. Adler, J. M. Elmhorst, & K. Lucas. (2003). Communicating at work: Strategies for success in business and the professions (11th ed.).
New York: McGraw-Hill, p. 14.
TABLE 1-1
Choose the Best Medium Sometimes the choice of a medium is a no-brainer. If
a friend says, “Call me while I’m on the road,” you know what to do. If your boss
or professor only responds to emails, then it would be foolish to use any other ap-
proach. But in many other situations, you have several options available. Table 1-1
outlines the advantages and drawbacks of the most common ones.
Choosing the right medium is just as important in personal relationships. Anyone
who has been dumped via text message knows that it only adds insult to injury. Just
because there is an option that allows you to avoid a difficult conversation doesn’t
mean you should take the easy way out. Many difficult conversations are better when
conducted face-to-face. These types of conversations include, but aren’t limited to,
sharing really bad news, ending a relationship, and trying to resolve a conflict.
In situations like these, a useful guideline is what’s been called the “platinum
rule”: treating others as they would like to be treated. Ask yourself how the recipient of
your message would prefer to receive it, and act accordingly, even though it’s difficult.
Be Careful What You Post You may be forever haunted by mistakes in the form of
text and photos posted online. As a cautionary tale, consider the case of Jean-Sun
Hannah Ahn. A few days after being crowned Miss Seattle in 2012, she tweeted
to her friends back in Arizona: “Ew, I’m seriously hating Seattle right now . . .
Take me back to az! Ugh can’t stand cold rainy Seattle and the annoying people.”
The message made news in the town where she had just been honored. After she
publicly apologized, Ahn vowed that, in the future, “I will call my friends or text
them if I’m feeling down or want to complain about something.”65 Her experience
is a reminder that, once sent, electronic messages often have a life of their own.
Some incautious posts can go beyond being simply amusing. Consider the
phenomenon of “sexting.” One survey revealed that 10% of young adults between
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the ages of 14 and 24 have texted or emailed a
nude or partially nude image of themselves to
someone else, and 15% have received such pic-
tures or videos of someone else they know.66
Perhaps even more disturbing, 8% reported that
they had been forwarded nude or partially nude
images of someone they knew.67
When minors are involved, authorities can
make arrests for manufacturing, disseminating,
or even possessing child pornography. Far worse,
some teens have committed suicide when ex-
plicit photos were posted online.68 Even without
such dire consequences, it’s not hard to imagine
the unpleasant consequences of a private photo
or text going public.
Be Considerate Mediated communication
calls for its own rules of etiquette. Here are a few.
(The checklist on page 30 provides a handy reminder of these.)
Respect Others’ Need for Undivided Attention It might be hard to realize that
some people are insulted when you divide your attention between your in-person
conversational partner and distant contacts. As one observer put it, “While a quick
log-on may seem, to the user, a harmless break, others in the room receive it as a
silent dismissal. It announces: ‘I’m not interested.’”69
As Figure 1-5 shows, most people understand that using mobile devices in
social settings is distracting and annoying. Chapter 5 has plenty to say about the
challenges of listening effectively when you are multitasking. Even if you think
you can understand others while dealing with communication media, it’s impor-
tant to realize that they may perceive you as being rude.
Keep Your Tone Civil If you’ve ever shot back a nasty reply to a text or instant
message, posted a mean comment on a blog, or forwarded an embarrassing email,
you know that it’s easier to behave badly when the recipient of your message isn’t
right in front of you.
The tendency to transmit messages without considering their consequences is
called disinhibition, and research shows it is more likely in mediated channels
than in face-to-face contact.70 Sometimes communicators take disinhibition to the
extreme, blasting off angry—even vicious—emails, text messages, and website post-
ings. The common term for these outbursts is flaming. Flames are problematic be-
cause of their emotional and irreversible nature. Even once you’ve calmed down, the
aggressive message can continue to cause pain.
Flaming isn’t the only type of mediated harassment. Ongoing “cyberbullying”
has become a widespread phenomenon, often with dire consequences. More than
4 in 10 teens report being the target of online harassment. Recipients of cyberbul-
lying often feel helpless and scared, to such a degree that one report found they are
8 times more likely to carry a weapon to school than other students. There are at least
41 reported cases in which victims of cyberbullying committed suicide in the United
States, Canada, Great Britain, and Australia,71 a sobering statistic in light of reports
that 81% of cyberbullies admit their only reason for bullying is because “it’s funny.”72
One way to behave better in asynchronous situations is to ask yourself a
simple question before you send, post, or broadcast: Would you deliver the same
message to the recipient in person? If your answer is no, then you might want to
think before hitting the “send” key.
Generally not OK Generally OK
23
25
26
62
88
94
95
96
5
5
4
12
38
75
74
77While walking down the street
On public transportation
While waiting in line
At a restaurant
At a family dinner
During a meeting
At the movies or other places
where others are usually quiet
At church or worship service
FIGURE 1-5 When Is It Acceptable to Use a Cell Phone?
disinhibition The tendency to trans-
mit messages without considering their
consequences.
flaming Sending angry and/or insult-
ing emails, text messages, and website
postings.
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Respect Privacy Boundaries Sooner or later you’re bound to run across informa-
tion about others that you suspect they would find embarrassing. If your relation-
ship is close enough, you might consider sending out a for-your-information alert.
In other cases, you may intentionally run a search about someone. Even if you un-
cover plenty of interesting information, it can be smart to avoid mentioning what
you’ve discovered to the object of your searching.
Be Mindful of Bystanders If you spend even a little time in most public spaces,
you’re likely to encounter communicators whose use of technology interferes with
others: restaurant patrons whose phone alerts intrude on your conversation, pedes-
trians who are more focused on their handheld device than on avoiding others, or
people in line who are trying to pay the cashier and use their cell phone at the same
time. If you aren’t bothered by this sort of behavior, it can be hard to feel sympathetic
with others who are offended by it. Nonetheless, this is another situation in which the
platinum rule applies: Consider treating others the way they would like to be treated.
Balance Mediated and Face Time It’s easy to make a case that many relationships
are better because of social media. And as you’ve already read in this chapter, some
research supports this position. But even with all the benefits of communication
technology, it’s worth asking whether there is such a thing as too much mediated
socializing. (Read about some people’s efforts to scale back their social media use
in the Understanding Communication Technology box on page 25.)
There is a link between heavy reliance on mediated communication and con-
ditions including depression, loneliness, and social anxiety.73 People who spend
excessive time online may begin to experience problems at school or work and
withdraw further from their offline relationships.74 Many people who pursue ex-
clusively online social contacts do so because they have social anxiety or low
social skills to begin with. For these people, retreating further from offline rela-
tionships may diminish their already low social skills.
Researchers have been especially interested in determining when cyber com-
munication crosses the bridge from normal to excessive.75 How many of the fol-
lowing points describe you?
• I find it difficult to avoid the urge to go online (e.g., to check Facebook on
my phone).
• I spend more and more time online.
• I often spend more time online than I anticipated or intended.
• I have tried to reduce my social media use, but I have not been successful
at cutting back.
• My time online causes me to do poorly at work, home, or school.
• I engage in social or recreational activities less than I should because of my
time online.
Although experts disagree about whether Internet addiction disorder (IAD) is a
certifiable addiction or just a symptom of another issue, they suggest several strate-
gies for reining in excessive use of digital media. Unlike other addictions, such as
those to drugs and alcohol, treatment for Internet addiction focuses on modera-
tion and controlled use of the Internet rather than abstinence. If you are worried
about your Internet use:
• Keep track of the amount of time you spend online so you can accurately
assess whether it’s too much.
• Plan a limited amount of online time in your daily schedule and see if you
can stick to your plan.
• Make a list of problems in your life that may have occurred because of your
time spent online.
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• If you do not feel able to change your behav-
ior on your own, seek the help of a counselor
or therapist.
Be Safe Many people fail to realize the hazards of
posting certain information in public forums, and
other people don’t realize that what they are posting
is public. You may post your “on vacation” status in
Facebook, assuming that only your friends can see
your message. But if a friend uses a public computer
or lets another friend see your page, unintended re-
cipients are viewing your information.76
As a rule, don’t disclose information in a public-
access medium that you would not tell a stranger on
the street. Even personal emails present a problem:
They can be forwarded, and accounts can be hacked.
The safest bet is to assume that mediated messages can
be seen by unintended recipients, some of whom you
may not know or trust.
Careless use of social media can damage more
than your reputation. Using a cell phone while driving is just as dangerous as driv-
ing under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Cell phone use while driving (hand-
held or hands-free) lengthens a driver’s reaction time as much as having a blood
alcohol concentration at the legal limit of .08%.77 In the United States alone, driv-
ers distracted by cell phones cause about 5,474 deaths and 448,000 injuries every
year.78 Even a hands-free device doesn’t eliminate the risks. Drivers carrying on
phone conversations are 18% slower to react to brake lights. They also take 17%
longer to regain the speed they lost when they braked.79
Clarifying Misconceptions
About Communication
Having spent time talking about what communication is, we also ought to iden-
tify some things it is not. Recognizing some misconceptions is important, not
only because they ought to be avoided by anyone knowledgeable about the sub-
ject, but also because following them can get you into trouble.
Communication Does Not Always Require Complete
Understanding
Most people operate on the implicit but flawed assumption that the goal of all
communication is to maximize understanding between communicators. Al-
though some understanding is necessary for us to comprehend one another’s
thoughts, there are some types of communication in which understanding as we
usually conceive it isn’t the primary goal.80 Consider, for example, the following:
• Social rituals. “How’s it going?” you ask. “Great,” the other person replies. The
primary goal in exchanges like these is mutual acknowledgment: There’s
obviously no serious attempt to exchange information.
• Many attempts to influence others. A quick analysis of most television commer-
cials shows that they are aimed at persuading viewers to buy products, not to
understand the content of the commercial. In the same way, many of our at-
tempts at persuading another to act as we want don’t involve a desire to get the
other person to understand what we want—just to comply with our wishes.
Source: Mick Stevens The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
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• Deliberate ambiguity and deception. When you decline an un-
wanted invitation by saying, “I can’t make it,” you probably
want to create the impression that the decision is really beyond
your control. (If your goal was to be perfectly clear, you might
say, “I don’t want to get together. In fact, I’d rather do almost
anything than accept your invitation.”) As Chapters 4 and 7 ex-
plain in detail, we often equivocate precisely because we want
to obscure our true thoughts and feelings.
• Coordinated action. Examples are conversations in which sat-
isfaction doesn’t depend on full understanding. The term
coordination has been used to describe situations in which
participants interact smoothly, with a high degree of satis-
faction but without necessarily understanding one another
well.81 Coordination without understanding can be satisfying
in far more important situations. Consider the words “I love
you.” This is a phrase that can have many meanings: Among
other things, it can mean “I admire you,” “I feel great affec-
tion for you,” “I desire you,” “I am grateful to you,” “I feel
guilty,” “I want you to be faithful to me,” or even “I hope you
love me.”82 It’s not hard to picture a situation in which part-
ners gain great satisfaction—even over a lifetime—without
completely understanding that the mutual love they profess
actually is quite different for each of them. “You mean you
mostly love me because I’ve been there for you? Hey, a dog is
there for you!”
Communication Will Not Solve All Problems
“If I could just communicate better . . .” is the sad refrain of many un-
happy people who believe that if they could just express themselves
better, their relationships would improve. Though this is sometimes
true, it’s an exaggeration to say that communicating—even commu-
nicating clearly—is a guaranteed panacea.
Communication Isn’t Always a Good Thing
In truth, communication is neither good nor bad in itself. Rather, its
value comes from the way it is used. Communication can be a tool
for expressing warm feelings and useful facts, but under different cir-
cumstances the same words and actions can cause both physical and
emotional pain.
Meanings Rest in People, Not Words
It’s a mistake to think that, just because you use a word in one way,
others will do so, too. Sometimes differing interpretations of sym-
bols are easily caught, as when we might first take the statement “He’s
loaded” to mean the subject has had too much to drink, only to find
out that he is quite wealthy. In other cases, however, the ambiguity of
words and nonverbal behaviors isn’t so apparent and thus has more
far-reaching consequences. Remember, for instance, a time when
someone said to you, “I’ll be honest,” and only later did you learn
that those words hid precisely the opposite fact. In Chapter 4 you’ll
read a great deal more about the problems that come from mistakenly
assuming that meanings rest in words.
CHECKLIST
Use Social Media
Courteously and Wisely
Here are a few reminders to keep you from
having regrets about your social media use.
Choose the best medium for your
message—it may not be social media.
Be careful what you post, keeping in mind
it may reach a larger audience than you
intended.
Give people in your presence your undi-
vided attention, rather than checking social
media.
Keep your tone civil online. Don’t hastily
post any message you wouldn’t say in
person and when you are calm.
When posting in a public forum, respect
others’ privacy.
Be mindful of strangers around you who
may be annoyed by your phone use, espe-
cially if your screen is bright or alerts are
loud.
Maintain a good ratio of in-person and
online time with the people you care about.
Avoid posting information or images that
people could use against you.
Don’t use devices while you are behind the
wheel.
coordination Interaction in which participants
interact smoothly, with a high degree of satisfaction but
without necessarily understanding one another well.
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Communication Is Not Simple
Most people assume that communication is an aptitude that people develop without
the need for training—rather like breathing. After all, we’ve been swapping ideas with
one another since early childhood, and there are lots of people who communicate
pretty well without ever having had a class on the subject. Though this picture of com-
munication as a natural ability seems accurate, it’s actually a gross oversimplification.
Many people do learn to communicate skillfully because they have been ex-
posed to models of such behavior by those around them. This principle of mod-
eling explains why children who grow up in homes with stable relationships be-
tween family members have a greater chance of developing such relationships
themselves. But even the best communicators aren’t perfect. They often suffer the
frustration of being unable to get a message across effectively, and they frequently
misunderstand others. Furthermore, even the most successful people you know
probably can identify ways in which their relationships could profit from better
communication. These facts show that communication skills are rather like ath-
letic ability: Even the most inept of us can learn to be more effective with training
and practice, and those who are talented can always become better.
More Communication Isn’t Always Better
Although it’s certainly true that not communicating enough is a mistake, there are
also situations when too much communication is ill advised. Sometimes excessive
communication simply is unproductive, as when we “talk a problem to death,” going
over the same ground again and again without making any headway. And there are
times when communicating too much can actually aggravate a problem. We’ve all
had the experience of “talking ourselves into a hole”—making a bad situation worse
by pursuing it too far. As two noted communication scholars put it, “more and more
negative communication merely leads to more and more negative results.”83
There are even times when no communication is the best course. Any good
salesperson will tell you that it’s often best to stop talking and let the customer
think about the product. And when two people are angry and hurt, they may say
things they don’t mean and will later regret. At times like these it’s probably best
to spend a little time cooling off, thinking about what to say and how to say it.
Along with their benefits, the technologies that keep us connected have a
downside. When your boss, colleagues, and customers can reach you at any time,
you can become too distracted to be productive.
Communication researchers discovered that remote workers developed two
strategies to reduce contact and thereby increase their efficiency.84 The first simply
involved disconnecting from time to time: logging off the computer, forwarding the
phone call to voice mail, or simply ignoring incoming messages. The researchers
labeled the second strategy dissimulation. Teleworkers disguise their activities to
discourage contact: changing their instant message status to “in a meeting” or
posting a fake “out of the office” message online.
It’s important to note that these strategies were typically used not to avoid
work but to get more done. These findings show that too much connectivity is
like many other parts of life: More isn’t always better. In closing, let’s revisit the
example set by Tony Hsieh. His ideals of open communication and kindness are
reflected in his company’s practices. Zappos associates are authorized to listen to
and help solve customers’ problems and even help them find products on compet-
itors’ websites if Zappos is out of stock. “You create thousands of stories, and those
stories spread the word about Zappos,” Hsieh says. “We’re not trying to maximize
every transaction. We’re trying to build a lifelong relationship with each of our
customers, one call at a time.”85 Ultimately, a powerful connection with other
people is what communication is all about.
ASK YOURSELF
Describe a time when
a misunderstanding
led to a mistake or a
comical situation. How
did interpretations of
the initial message(s)
differ?
?
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
To Communicate or Not
to Communicate?
Think of an occasion (real or
hypothetical) in which another person
is urging you to keep the channels
of communication open. You know
communicating more with this person
will cause the situation to deteriorate, yet
you don’t want to appear uncooperative.
What should you do?
CHAPTER 1 Communication: What and Why32
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MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Apply the transactional commu-
nication model described on pages 9–10 to a specific
incident, explaining how that exchange is part of a rela-
tional, symbolic process.
• Communication, as it is examined in this book, is the pro-
cess of creating meaning through symbolic interaction.
• The transactional model described on pages 9–10 is
superior to the more simplistic linear model in represent-
ing the process-oriented nature of human interaction.
> Describe a real-life example that illustrates how com-
munication is symbolic, transactional, and process
oriented.
> Have you ever overreacted to something someone
said, only to realize later that you misinterpreted that
person’s intent? How can the knowledge that commu-
nication is a process help you put things in perspective?
> How can your understanding of the transactional
model help you communicate more effectively in an
important relationship?
OBJECTIVE Identify the types of communication
that operate in human interaction.
• Communication operates in six contexts: intrapersonal,
dyadic/interpersonal, small group, organizational, public,
and mass.
> Provide examples of communication in three of the
contexts listed above.
> In what way would you most like to improve your
communication relevant to interpersonal commu-
nication? To small group communication? To public
speaking?
> What goals would you most like to set for yourself as a
communicator? Which contexts will your goals involve?
OBJECTIVE Compare and contrast face-to-
face and mediated communication, including social
media.
• Emerging technology makes communication easier in
some ways but more difficult in others.
> What percentage of your communication is face-to-
face? What percentage involves social media or other
mediated forms?
1.1
1.2
1.3
> How satisfied are you with the amount of time you
spend on social media and the quality of your medi-
ated interactions with people?
> In what ways does social media enhance your rela-
tionships? In what ways does social media take away
from them?
OBJECTIVE Describe the effects of changing
communication technology on the study of human com-
munication in recent decades.
• After millennia with little change, the pace of innovation
in communication technologies has accelerated in the last
150 years.
• The study of communication has also evolved, taking a
more expansive approach to human interaction.
> How do the communication technologies you use
differ from those of your parents’ generation? Your
grandparents’?
> How is your life enriched by using today’s communi-
cation technologies? Do these technologies diminish
the quality of your relationships in any ways?
OBJECTIVE Explain the key needs you and
others attempt to satisfy by communicating.
• Communication satisfies several types of needs: physical,
identity, social, and practical.
> Using examples from your own life, describe each
type of need that communication meets.
OBJECTIVE Suggest ways of improving your
communication competence in a specific situation.
• Communication competence is situational and relational
in nature, and it can be learned.
• Competent communicators are able to choose and per-
form appropriately from a wide range of behaviors, as
well as being cognitively complex self-monitors who can
take the perspective of others and who are committed to
important relationships.
> Give examples from your own life to illustrate the
situational and relational nature of communication
competence.
> Based on the criteria on pages 21–24, how would you
rate your own communicative competence?
> How can you improve your communicative compe-
tence by applying the material in this chapter? Give
specific examples.
1.4
1.5
1.6
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 1 Review 33
9780190297084_ch01_001-033.indd 33 10/06/16 12:52 PM
OBJECTIVE Identify how misconceptions about
communication can create problems, and suggest
how changes in communication can lead to better
outcomes.
• Communication doesn’t always require complete
understanding.
• Communication is not always a good thing that will
solve every problem.
• More communication is not always better.
• Meanings are in people, not in words.
• Communication is neither simple nor easy.
> Give examples of how each misconception described
in this chapter can lead to problems.
> Which misconception(s) have been most problematic
in your life? Give examples of each.
> How can you avoid succumbing to the misconcep-
tions listed in this chapter? Give examples of how
you could communicate more effectively.
KEY TERMS
asynchronous communication p. 18
channel p. 7
communication p. 5
communication competence p. 20
coordination p. 30
decode p. 7
disinhibition p. 27
dyad p. 11
dyadic communication p. 11
encode p. 7
environment p. 8
feedback p. 9
flaming p. 27
interpersonal communication p. 11
intrapersonal communication p. 10
linear communication model p. 7
mass communication p. 13
mediated communication p. 7
message p. 7
noise p. 7
organizational communication p. 11
public communication p. 13
receiver p. 7
richness p. 17
sender p. 7
small group communication p. 11
social media p. 16
symbol p. 6
synchronous communication p. 18
1.7 transactional communication model p. 9
Web 2.0 p. 16
ACTIVITIES
1. Analyzing Your Communication Behavior Prove for your-
self that communication is both frequent and important
by observing your interactions for a one-day period. Record
every occasion in which you are involved in some sort of
human communication as it is defined in this chapter.
Based on your findings, answer the following questions:
a. What percentage of your waking day is involved in
communication?
b. What percentage of time do you spend communicat-
ing in the following contexts: intrapersonal, dyadic,
small group, and public?
c. What percentage of your communication is devoted
to satisfying each of the following types of needs:
physical, identity, social, and practical? (Note that you
might try to satisfy more than one type at a time.)
Based on your analysis, describe 5 to 10 ways you would
like to communicate more effectively. For each item on
your list of goals, describe who is involved (e.g., “my boss,”
“people I meet at parties”) and how you would like to
communicate differently (e.g., “act less defensively when
criticized,” “speak up more instead of waiting for them to
approach me”). Use this list to focus your studies as you
read the remainder of this book.
2. Social Media Analysis Construct a diary of the ways you
use social media in a three-day period. For each instance
when you use social media (email, a social networking
website, phone, Twitter, etc.), describe:
a. The kind(s) of social media you use
b. The nature of the communication (e.g., “Wrote on
friend’s Facebook wall,” “Reminded roommate to
pick up dinner on the way home”)
c. The type of need you are trying to satisfy (informa-
tion, relational, identity, entertainment)
Based on your observations, describe the types of media
you use most often and the importance of social media in
satisfying your communication needs.
3. Medium and Message Effectiveness Send the same mes-
sage to four friends, but use a different medium for each
person. For example, ask the question, “How’s it going?”
Use the following media:
• Social media message
• Email
• Text message
• Telephone
Notice how each response differs and what that may say
about the nature of the medium.
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9780190297084_ch02_034-065.indd 35 10/04/16 06:47 PM
The Self, Perception, and
Communication
35
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Communication and the Self 36
Self-Concept Defined
Biology, Personality, and the Self
External Influence on the Self-Concept
Culture and the Self-Concept
The Self-Concept and Communication with Others
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication
Perceiving Others 42
Steps in the Perception Process
Influences on Perception
Narratives, Perception, and Communication
Common Perceptual Tendencies
Perception in Mediated Communication
Empathy, Perception, and Communication
Communication and Identity Management 55
Public and Private Selves
Characteristics of Identity Management
Identity Management in the Workplace
Why Manage Identities?
Identity Management in Mediated Communication
Identity Management and Honesty
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
2.1
Identify the communicative
influences that shape the
self-concept.
2.2
Examine the perceptual
tendencies and situational factors
that influence our perceptions of
other people.
2.3
Describe how the process of
identity management operates,
in both face-to-face and online
communication.
2
9780190297084_ch02_034-065.indd 36 10/04/16 06:47 PM
As you reflect on
Caitlyn Jenner’s
story, think about the
following questions:
?
What messages have you
received from others and
the media about the kind of
person you should be? What
do you like about others’
expectations of you? What
expectations do you wish
were different?
?
What communication
strategies have you used
to influence how other
people see you?
?
How do your perceptions of
key people in your life shape
the nature of your relation-
ships with them?
“[I] LOOKED IN the mirror and I felt, ‘Oh my God,’” says Caitlyn
Jenner, reflecting on her groundbreaking photo shoot as a woman.
It was the first time, reflects the reality TV star and Olympic
champion, that her public image matched her self-concept. “Seeing
that image was powerful to me,” she recalls.1
Bruce Jenner was in the limelight for nearly 40 years, first as
a record-breaking athlete and later as patriarch of the Jenner–
Kardashian family. He was aware that the world viewed him as the
quintessential “macho male.”2 Few people suspected that, on the
inside, he felt more like a woman than a man. Failing to address
the discrepancy felt like a lie, Jenner admits. Nonetheless he felt
compelled to keep up the façade for 65 years because, as he puts it,
“I don’t want to disappoint people.”3
Jenner’s saga is a dramatic illustration of how our identities are
shaped by messages from others. Like Jenner, we gain a sense of
who we are partly in response to what others tell us. When we accept
others’ definition of us, we act in ways to reinforce it. But if we reject
the identity others impose on us, we create messages aimed at
convincing them to view us differently. Either way, communication
is at the heart of defining our self-concept and social identity, as we
will see in this chapter.
Communication and the Self
Nothing is more fundamental to understanding how we communicate
than our sense of self. For that reason, the following pages introduce the
notion of self- concept and explain how the way we view ourselves shapes
our interaction with others.
Self-Concept Defined
The self-concept is a set of relatively stable perceptions that each of us holds
about ourselves. It includes our conception of what is unique about us and
what makes us both similar to and different from others. You might imagine
the self-concept as a mental mirror that reflects how we view ourselves. This
picture includes not only our physical features but also emotional states, tal-
ents, likes and dislikes, values, and roles.
We will have more to say about the nature of the self-concept shortly, but
first, consider how this theoretical construct applies to you. Who are you?
What is your gender identity? What is your age? Your religion? Occupation?
Communication and the Self 37
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There are many ways of identifying yourself. Take a few more minutes and list
as many ways as you can to identify who you are. You’ll need this list later in this
chapter, so be sure to complete it now. Try to include all the characteristics that
describe you, including:
• Your moods or feelings
• Your appearance and physical condition
• Your social traits
• Talents you possess or lack
• Your intellectual capacity
• Your belief systems (religion, philosophy)
• Your strong beliefs
• Your social roles
Even a list of 20 or 30 terms would be only a partial description. To make this
written self-portrait even close to complete, your list would have to be hundreds—
or even thousands—of words long.
Of course, not all items on such a list would be equally important. For exam-
ple, you might define yourself primarily by your social roles (parent, veteran),
culture (Mexican American, Chinese), or beliefs (libertarian, feminist). Others
might define themselves more in terms of physical qualities (tall, Deaf), or accom-
plishments and skills (athletic, scholar).
An important element of the self-concept is self-esteem: our evaluations of
self-worth. One person’s self-concept might include being religious, tall, or ath-
letic. That person’s self-esteem is shaped by how he or she feels about these quali-
ties. Self-esteem is established early in life. By the age of 5, most children have
developed a sense of self-worth.4 They can offer accounts of how good they are at
concrete skills like running and spelling.
Self-esteem influences the way we communicate and how people
view us. People with high self-esteem are typically more confident
in their perceptions and less likely to be swayed by peer pressure
than are people with low self-esteem.5 They are also more likely to
approach conflict in a collaborative manner6 and to exhibit an air of
confidence and belonging in the workplace.7 Not surprisingly, people
with healthy self-esteem tend to be viewed positively by their peers,
reinforcing their sense of being appreciated and valued.8
The opposite is true of low self-esteem. People who think poorly
of themselves often communicate in ways that cause others to doubt
them.9 For example, a person who lacks confidence in social situa-
tions may avoid parties and study groups. As a result, she may come
off as disinterested and unfriendly, which can add to her sense of
being a social outcast, making her even less confident about reaching
out. Take the self-assessment on page 39 to reflect on your own level
of self-esteem.
Despite its obvious benefits, self-esteem doesn’t guarantee success
in personal and professional relationships.10 People with an exagger-
ated sense of self-worth may think they make a great impression, but
objective tests and the reactions of others don’t always match this
belief. It’s easy to see how people with an inflated sense of self-worth
could irritate others by coming across as condescending know-it-alls,
especially when their self-worth is challenged.11
ASK YOURSELF
How would you
describe your level
of self-esteem? How
is it affected by the
messages you receive
in face-to-face ex-
changes and via social
media?
?
For years, civil rights leader Rachel Dolezal identified and
presented herself as African American. When outed as
white by her estranged biological parents, she argued that
heredity doesn’t equal racial identity.
What factors shape and affect your identity?
self-concept The relatively stable set
of perceptions each individual holds of
himself or herself.
self-esteem The part of the self-
concept that involves evaluations of
self-worth.
38 CHAPTER 2 The Self, Perception, and Communication
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Biology, Personality, and the Self
Take another look at the list of terms you used to describe yourself on page 37.
You’ll almost certainly find some that reflect your personality—characteristic ways
that you think and behave across a variety of situations. Personality tends to be
stable throughout life: Research suggests that our temperament at age 3 is highly
predictive of how we will behave as adults.12
People around the world embody many of the same basic personality traits.
For example, languages as diverse as Hungarian, Dutch, English, Italian, and
Korean have words to describe people who are extroverted, patient, emotional,
honest, humble, and imaginative.13
Personality is determined partly by our genes. Researchers estimate that we
inherit about 40% of our personality traits.14 If your parents or grandparents are
shy, for example, you may have a genetic tendency to be reserved around strang-
ers. Or you might have a natural tendency to be novelty seeking, emotionally
expressive,15 or assertive,16 or to exhibit many other traits. To some degree, we
come programmed to communicate in particular ways.
Even though you may have a disposition toward some personality traits, you
can do a great deal to control how you actually communicate.17 Even shy people
can learn how to reach out to others, and those with aggressive tendencies can
learn to communicate in more sociable ways. One author put it this way: “Experi-
ences can silence genes or activate them. Even shyness is like Silly Putty once life
gets hold of it.”18 Throughout this book you will learn about communication skills
that, with practice, you can build into your repertoire.
Although we inherit a portion of our personality, that isn’t the only factor that
influences our communication, as you will see next. So far we’ve talked about
what the self-concept is, but at this point you may be asking what it has to do with
the study of human communication. We can begin to answer this question by
looking at how you came to possess your own self-concept.
External Influence on the Self-Concept
Along with heredity, our identity is shaped by communication with others. The term
reflected appraisal describes how we develop an image of ourselves from the way we
think others view us. We begin to grasp other people’s impressions of us—both posi-
tive and negative—early on. As this happens, we are likely to internalize many of the
messages we receive. This process continues throughout life, especially when messages
come from significant others—people whose opinions we especially value. A teacher
from long ago, a special friend or relative, or perhaps a barely known acquaintance
can all leave an imprint on how you view yourself. To see the importance of significant
others, ask yourself how you arrived at your opinion of you as a student, as a potential
romantic partner, as a competent worker, and so on, and you will see that these self-
evaluations were probably influenced by the way others regarded you.
Caitlyn Jenner is a good example. Even though she felt like a female on the
inside, she felt obligated to fulfill society’s expectations of male behavior for most
of her life.19 She says she understood what was at stake: Those who defy social
expectations risk being judged, rejected, and even physically harmed. Transgen-
der individuals in the United States are nearly twice as likely as others to be vio-
lently attacked.20 Although Jenner has the benefits of bodyguards and wealth, her
fame makes her subject to public opinion. Some critics have called her “sick and
delusional,” and others refuse to adopt feminine pronouns in reference to her.21
Even if the discrepancy between how you feel on the inside and how others
see you is not as great as Jenner’s, you probably feel the pressure to act in socially
approved ways. For example, you may try to hold back tears in a stressful business
meeting, lower your voice in church, or adopt the latest fashion or hairstyle.
personality The set of enduring
characteristics that define a person’s
temperament, thought processes, and
social behavior.
reflected appraisal The influence of
others on one’s self-concept.
significant other A person whose
opinion is important enough to affect
one’s self-concept strongly.
When Kate Winslet agreed to model for
L’Oréal cosmetics, she insisted on a “no
retouching” clause in her contract. The
actor says she doesn’t want to contribute
to unrealistic standards of attractiveness
that make women feel bad about their
appearance.
How do idealized images in the media
affect your self-esteem?
Communication and the Self 39
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39
Along with messages from others, our own assessments shape our self- concept.
This occurs through the process of social comparison: evaluating ourselves in
terms of how we compare with others.
Are you attractive or ugly? A success or failure? Intelligent or stupid? It depends
on those you measure yourself against. For instance, young women who regu-
larly compare themselves with ultra-thin media models tend to develop negative
appraisals of their own bodies.22 Men, too, who compare themselves to media-
idealized male physiques, evaluate their bodies negatively.23 These patterns
tend to persist even when people know the images they are viewing have been
retouched.24 This has led some models and advertisers to insist on photos that are
realistic rather than computer-enhanced. (See the photo on page 38.)
social comparison Evaluating
ourselves in terms of how we compare
with others.
S E L F A S S E S S M E N T
Communication and Your Self-Esteem
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
Evaluating Your Responses
Give yourself 1 point for every odd-numbered statement you answered Mostly True and 1 point for every even-numbered
question you answered Mostly False. Add them all together and look for your score below. Then ask yourself how your self-
esteem shapes the way you communicate.
Scores
8 to 10 —You have very high self-esteem. This can be a bonus in your personal and professional life. However, be careful not to
present yourself as infallible or superior to others.
5 to 7 —You have moderately high self-esteem. You are mostly self-assured and confident. However, you may feel insecure in
some situations and relationships. When you find your confidence lagging, consider why. Perhaps developing new communication
strategies or changing your internal dialogue will help.
3 to 6 —You have somewhat low self-esteem. Feeling bad about yourself can create a harmful pattern in which you doubt the
positive things people say about you and accept poor treatment. Instead, try to surround yourself with people who value and
honor you.
0 to 2 —You have very low self-esteem. Perhaps the messages you have received from loved ones and the media have caused
you to doubt your self-worth. Look back at the list of characteristics you wrote about yourself (p. 37). Which of these make you
strong and unique? When you start to focus on your positive qualities, others are more likely to take note of them as well.
Mostly True Mostly False
1. People enjoy talking to me.
2. If someone criticizes my work, I feel horrible.
3. When I face a difficult communication challenge, I know I can succeed if I work at it.
4. When people tell me they love me, I have a hard time believing it.
5. I am comfortable admitting when I am wrong.
6. People would like me more if I were better looking or more successful.
7. I feel confident making big decisions about my relationships.
8. I frequently let people down.
9. It is more important that I am comfortable with myself than that others like me.
10. I am frequently afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid.
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Social media are a powerful source of comparison. For example, researchers
in one study found that people who spent significant time viewing photos of Face-
book friends later reported reduced self-esteem.25
As we grow older, we tend to develop a more defined and enduring sense of
who we are, and we are slightly less affected by other people’s opinions of us.26
We might find that constructive criticism no longer damages our self-confidence
very much. Yet if we have negative feelings about ourselves, we may cling to
those. If you see yourself as a terrible student, for example, you might respond
to a high grade by thinking, “I was just lucky” or “The professor must be an easy
grader.”
You might argue that not every part of one’s self-concept is shaped by
others. You are right that some traits are objectively recognizable through self-
observation. Nobody needs to tell you that you are taller than others, speak
with an accent, can run quickly, and so on. However, the significance we attach
to such attributes depends greatly on our social environment. If two friends,
one Jamaican and one American, watch a woman cross the street, they may have
different impressions of her. The American may conclude, “Look how slender
that woman is. She must have a healthy diet.” However, the Jamaican friend
may reflect, “I wonder what sort of stress has caused her to be so thin. She is
clearly unwell.”27
Culture and the Self-Concept
Cultures affect our self-concept in both obvious and subtle ways. As you’ll read in
Chapter 3, most Western cultures are highly individualistic, meaning they value
individuality and independence. By contrast, some cultures—most Asian ones, for
example—are traditionally much more collective, meaning they value group identity
more than personal autonomy. This cultural dynamic has powerful implications for
communication. In job interviews, for example, people from the Americas, Canada,
Australia, and Europe are likely to describe and even exaggerate their accomplish-
ments. However, people in many Asian cultures value modesty instead. In Chinese
written language, for example, the pronoun I looks very similar to the word for
selfish.28 They are likely to downplay their accomplishments, with the shared under-
standing that the interviewer will see that they are both highly accomplished and
admirably humble about it.29
The Self-Concept and Communication with Others
So far we’ve focused on how the self-concept has been shaped by our interpre-
tations of messages from our cultural environment and influential others. Now
we will explore how the self-concept shapes the way we communicate with other
people.
Figure 2-1 illustrates the relationship between the self-concept and behavior.
It illustrates how the self-concept both shapes and is shaped by much of our com-
munication behavior.
We can begin to examine the process by considering the self-concept you bring
to an event. Suppose, for example, that one element of your self-concept is “ner-
vous with authority figures.” That image probably comes from the evaluations of
significant others in the past—perhaps teachers or former employers. If you view
yourself as nervous with authority figures like these, you will probably behave
in nervous ways when you encounter them in the future—in a teacher–student
conference or a job interview. That nervous behavior is likely to influence how
others view your personality, which in turn will shape how they respond to you—
probably in ways that reinforce the self-concept you brought to the event. Finally,
the responses of others will affect the way you interpret future events: other job
interviews, meetings with professors, and so on. This cycle illustrates how the
ETHICAL
CHALLENGE
Is Honesty Always the
Best Policy?
Even with the best of intentions, there
are cases when an honest message is
likely to reduce another person’s self-
esteem. Consider a few examples:
• Your friend, an aspiring artist,
asks, “What do you think of my latest
painting?” You think it’s terrible.
• After a long, hard week, you
are looking forward to spending
the evening at home. A somewhat
insecure friend who just broke off a
long romantic relationship calls to ask
if you want to get together. You don’t.
• A good friend asks to use your
name as a reference for a potential
employer. You can’t honestly tell the
employer that your friend is qualified
for the job.
In situations like these, how do you
avoid diminishing another person’s
self-esteem while being honest?
Based on your conclusions, is it
possible to always be both honest
and supportive?
Communication and the Self 41
9780190297084_ch02_034-065.indd 41 10/04/16 06:47 PM
chicken-and-egg nature of the self-concept, which is shaped by significant others
in the past, helps to govern your present behavior and influences the way others
view you.
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
and Communication
The self-concept is such a powerful force that it can influence our future behavior
and that of others. A self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a person’s expecta-
tion of an outcome and subsequent behavior make the outcome more likely to
occur. This happens all the time. For example, think of the following instances,
which you may have experienced:
• You expected to become nervous during a job interview, and your anxiety
caused you to answer questions poorly.
• You anticipated having a good (or terrible) time at a party, and your expec-
tations led you to act in ways that shaped the outcome to fit your prediction.
• A teacher or boss explained a new task to you, saying that you probably
wouldn’t do well at first. You took these comments to heart, and as a result
you didn’t do well.
• A friend described someone you were about to meet, saying that you
wouldn’t like the person. You then looked for—and found—reasons to dis-
like the new acquaintance.
In each of these cases, the outcome happened at least in part because of the
expectation that it would happen.
There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies. The first type occurs when your
expectations influence your behavior. In sports you have probably psyched your-
self into playing either better or worse than usual. The same principle operates for
public speakers: Those who feel anxious often create self-fulfilling prophecies that
COMMUNICATION
STYLE
BEHAVIOR
OTHERS’
RESPONSES
PERCEPTION
OF EVENTS
Nervous with
authority �gures
Stammer,
blush
Disapproval,
unresponsive
“They didn’t think
much of me.”
COMMUNICATION
STYLE
BEHAVIOR
OTHERS’
RESPONSES
PERCEPTION
OF EVENTS
Comfortable with
authority �gures
Speak calmly
and uently
Approval,
cooperation
“I handled that
situation well.”
FIGURE 2-1 The Relationship Between the Self-Concept and Behavior
self-fulfilling prophecy A prediction
or expectation of an event that makes
the outcome more likely to occur than
would otherwise have been the case.
cultural idiom
psyched yourself: boosted
confidence by thinking positively
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cause them to perform less effectively.30 (Chapter 11 offers advice on
overcoming this kind of communication apprehension.)
Research has demonstrated the power of this first type of self-
fulfilling prophecy. In one study, communicators who predicted
that conflict episodes would be intense were likely to be highly
emotional during them and to engage in personal attacks.31 On
the bright side, people who expect that others will be friendly and
accepting usually act friendlier and more outgoing themselves.32
As you might expect, they find a warmer reception than people
who are fearful of rejection. As the cartoon on this page suggests,
self-fulfilling prophecies can be physiologically induced. Research-
ers have found that putting a smile on your face, even if you’re not
in a good mood, can lead to a more positive disposition.33
A second type of self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when one per-
son’s expectations govern another’s actions.34 This principle was
demonstrated in a classic experiment.35 Researchers told teachers
that 20% of the children in a certain elementary school showed
unusual potential for intellectual growth. The names of the 20%
were drawn randomly. Eight months later these unusual or “magic”
children showed significantly greater gains in IQ than did the
remaining children, who had not been singled out for the teachers’
attention. The change in the teachers’ behavior toward these alleg-
edly “special” children led to changes in the children’s performance.
What the teachers communicated to the students—the message “I
think you’re bright”—affected the students’ self-concepts, which
ultimately affected their outcomes.
This type of self-fulfilling prophecy has been shown to help shape
the self-concept and thus behavior in a wide range of settings. In medi-
cine, for example, patients who unknowingly receive placebos—sub-
stances that have no curative value—may respond favorably, as if they had received
an effective drug. The self-fulfilling prophecy operates in families as well. If par-
ents disparage their children, the children’s self-concepts may soon incorporate this
idea, and they may fail at many of the tasks they attempt. On the other hand, if
children are told they are capable, or lovable, or kind, there is a much greater chance
they will behave in those ways.36
The self-fulfilling prophecy is an important force in communication, but it
doesn’t explain all behavior. There are certainly times when the expectation of
an event’s outcome won’t bring about that outcome. Believing you’ll do well in
a job interview when you’re clearly not qualified for the position is unrealistic.
Similarly, there will probably be people you don’t like and occasions you won’t
enjoy, no matter what your attitude. To connect the self-fulfilling prophecy with
the “power of positive thinking” is an oversimplification.
As we keep these qualifications in mind, it’s important to recognize the tre-
mendous influence that self-fulfilling prophecies play in our lives. To a great extent
we are what we believe we are. In this sense, we and those around us constantly
create our self-concepts and thus ourselves.
Perceiving Others
The first part of this chapter explored how our self-perceptions affect the way we
communicate. The following pages examine how the ways we perceive others shape
our interactions with them.
ASK YOURSELF
What self-fulfilling
prophecies have you
imposed or have
others imposed on
you?
?
Source: Edward Frascino The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
Perceiving Others 43
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Steps in the Perception Process
In 1890 the psychologist William James described an infant’s world as “one great
blooming, buzzing confusion.”37 Babies—all humans, in fact—need some mecha-
nisms to sort out the avalanche of stimuli that bombard us every moment. As you
will read in the following pages, many of these stimuli involve others’ behavior, and
how we deal with those stimuli shapes our communication. We sort out and make
sense of others’ behavior in three steps: selection, organization, and interpretation.
Selection Because we’re exposed to more input than we can possibly manage,
the first step in perception is the selection of which data we will attend to. Some
external factors help shape what we notice about others. For example, stimuli that
are intense often attract our attention. Something that is louder, larger, or brighter
than its surroundings stands out.
We also pay attention to contrasts or changes in stimulation. Put differently,
unchanging people or things become less noticeable. This principle explains why we
take consistently wonderful people for granted when we interact with them frequently.
It’s only when they stop being so wonderful or go away that we appreciate them.
Along with external factors like intensity and contrast, internal factors shape
how we make sense of others. For example, our motives often determine how we
perceive people. Someone on the lookout for a romantic adventure will be espe-
cially aware of attractive potential partners, whereas the same person in an emer-
gency might be oblivious to anyone but police or medical personnel.
Our emotional state also shapes what we select. To some extent, your mood
reflects your self-talk—what you tell yourself when you are sad or upset. People
whose internal dialogue focuses on better days ahead typically experience better
moods and more happiness than people who focus on negative events in the
past.38 Once started, focusing on the positive can create a spiral. If you’re happy
about your relationship, you will be more likely to interpret your partner’s behav-
ior in a charitable way. This, in turn, can lead to greater happiness. Of course, the
same process can work in the opposite direction. One study revealed that, when
spouses who felt uncertain about the status of their marriage saw their partners
conversing with strangers, they were likely to perceive the conversations as rela-
tional threats, even when the conversations seemed quite ordinary to outsiders.39
Organization After selecting information from the environment, we must men-
tally arrange it in some meaningful way to make sense of the world. We call this
stage organization.
The raw sense data we perceive can be organized in more than one way, as the
photo on page 44 illustrates. If you look at it long enough, you’ll realize that it
can be viewed in two ways: as a frontal image or as a profile. The same principle
applies to communication behavior. Is your friend’s “frown” a sign that she is in
unhappy or just confused? Is an apology sincere or phony? In a larger sense, does
an unreturned text message reflect disinterest or distraction?
We organize our perceptions of other people using perceptual schemata, cogni-
tive frameworks that allow us to give order to the information we have selected.40
Four types of schema help us classify others:
1. Physical constructs classify people according to their appearance, such as beau-
tiful or ugly, fat or thin, young or old.
2. Role constructs use social position, such as student, attorney, wife.
3. Interaction constructs focus on social behavior, such as friendly, helpful, aloof,
sarcastic.
4. Psychological constructs refer to internal states of mind and dispositions, such as
confident, insecure, happy, neurotic.
selection The perceptual act of attend-
ing to some stimuli in the environment
and ignoring others.
organization The perceptual process
of organizing stimuli into patterns.
Our perceptions of others are based on a
variety of factors that are usually unconscious.
What stimuli shape the way you perceive
people in your everyday life?
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The kinds of constructs we use strongly
affect the way we perceive others. For exam-
ple, college students who watched advertise-
ments for a violent mixed martial arts event
typically preferred ads that showed men,
rather than women, fighting. This was espe-
cially true among viewers who felt strongly
that women should be protected from harm
and should not engage in combat, even during
sports.41
In online environments in which few
nonverbal cues exist, it’s harder to catego-
rize people we haven’t met in person. In text-
based situations, strangers often rely on words
to form impressions of others. In one study,
for example, students developed opinions
of strangers they couldn’t see based on their
screen names.42 Experimenters asked col-
lege students to form impressions of fictional
characters with names like “packerfan4” and
“stinkybug.” Using just the screen names,
most of the respondents assigned attributes
including biological sex, ethnicity, and age to
the supposed owners of these names.
Once we have an organizing schema to classify people, we use it to make gen-
eralizations about members of the groups who fit our categories. For example,
if religion plays an important part in your life, you might think of members of
your faith differently than you do others. If ethnicity is an important issue for
you, you probably tune in to the differences between members of various ethnic
groups. There’s nothing wrong with generalizations about groups as long as they
are accurate. In fact, it would be impossible to get through life without them. But
faulty overgeneralizations can lead to problems of stereotyping, which we address
on page 49.
Interpretation Once we have selected and organized our perceptions, we inter-
pret them in a way that makes some sort of sense. Interpretation plays a role in
virtually every type of communication. Is the person who smiles at you across a
crowded room interested in romance or simply being polite? Is a friend’s kidding a
sign of affection or irritation? Should you take an invitation to “drop by anytime”
literally or not? Table 2-1 summarizes several factors that cause us to interpret a
person’s behavior in one way or another.
Although we have talked about selection, organization, and interpretation
separately, the three phases of perception can occur in differing sequences. For
example, a parent’s or babysitter’s past interpretation (such as “Jason is a trouble-
maker”) can influence future selections (his behavior becomes especially notice-
able) and the organization of events (when there’s a fight, the assumption is that
Jason started it). As with all communication, perception is an ongoing process in
which it is hard to pin down beginnings and endings.
Influences on Perception
A variety of factors, from physiological to cultural and social, influence how we
select, organize, and interpret data about others.
Physiological Influences Some communication problems come from ignor-
ing physiological (bodily) differences in how each of us experiences the world.43
Profile or frontal view? It depends on how
you look at it.
Can you shift your evaluation of
messages you receive of others? What
does this say about the “truth”?
interpretation The perceptual pro-
cess of attaching meaning to stimuli
that have previously been selected and
organized.
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Factors That Affect Interpretation of Behavior
FACTOR EXAMPLE
Degree of familiarity You may perceive people who are familiar to you as more extraverted, stable, friendly, and
conscientious than people you regard as strangers.44
Relational satisfaction If a friend or romantic partner hurts your feelings, you are more likely to forgive and forget if you
are generally happy in the relationship than if you are dissatisfied with it.45
Personal experience If landlords have unfairly charged you in the past, you might be skeptical about an apartment
manager’s assurances of refunding your cleaning deposit.
Assumptions about
human behavior
A boss who assumes that people are lazy and avoid responsibility may misjudge an employee’s
contributions.
Expectations If you go into a conversation expecting a hostile attitude, you’re likely to hear a negative tone in
the other person’s voice—even if that tone isn’t intended by the speaker.
Knowledge of others If you know a friend has just been rejected by a lover or fired from a job, you’ll interpret his or her
aloof behavior differently than if you were unaware of what happened.
TABLE 2-1
For example, age can shape perceptions. Young children often seem egocentric,
selfish, and uncooperative. A parent’s exasperated “Can’t you see I’m too tired
to play?” might not make sense to a 4-year-old full of energy, who imagines that
everyone else must feel the same.
Health and nutrition also influence the way we interact. When you’re ill or have
been working long hours or studying late for an exam, the world can seem quite
different than when you are well rested. People who are sleep deprived perceive
time intervals as longer than they really are. So the 5 minutes you spend waiting
for a friend to show up may seem longer, leaving you feeling more impatient than
you otherwise would be.46 Your own experience probably confirms that nutrition
also shapes communication. Being hungry (and getting grumpy) or having over-
eaten (and getting tired) affects how we interact with others. One study found that
teenagers who reported that their families did not have enough to eat were almost
twice as likely as other teens to report difficulty getting along with others.47
Biological cycles also affect perception and communication. Each of us has a daily
cycle in which all sorts of changes constantly occur, including variations in body
temperature, sexual drive, alertness, tolerance to stress, and mood.48 These cycles
can affect the way we relate to one another. Researchers in one study found that
men had more negative views of their partners after a night in which they didn’t
sleep well. For women, it was the other way around: Their sleep patterns were dis-
rupted when they perceived problems in the relationship. The researchers observe
that sleep, mood, and interpersonal communication are mutually influential.49
Some differences in perception are rooted in neurology, the functioning of the
nervous system. For instance, people with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder) are easily distracted from tasks and have difficulty delaying gratifica-
tion.50 Those with ADHD might find a long lecture boring and tedious, while
other audience members are fascinated by it.51 In addition, young women with
ADHD are more likely to have conflicts with their mothers and have fewer roman-
tic relationships than those without ADHD.52 People with bipolar disorder experi-
ence significant mood swings in which their perceptions of events, friends, and
even family members shift dramatically. The National Institute of Mental Health
estimates that between 5 million and 7 million Americans are affected by these
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two disorders alone53—and there are many other psychological conditions that
influence people’s perceptions.
Cultural and Social Influences As we will discuss in depth in Chapter 3, culture
provides a perceptual filter that influences the way we interpret even the simplest
events. This filter extends to sex and gender roles, occupational roles, and rela-
tional roles, to name a few.
Sex and Gender Roles Social expectations about masculine and feminine behav-
ior have a powerful influence on our identity and how we communicate. Consider
a few examples:
• A mother says to her daughter, “Don’t act that way. It isn’t ladylike.”
• A same-sex couple is frustrated when people assume that one of them plays
a more masculine role and one a more feminine role in the relationship.
• You overhear a colleague call your female supervisor “a bitch.” You realize
that term is never used to describe men.
For most people, gendered expectations began the moment they were born—
or even before, with the selection of clothing, blankets, toys, and nursery décor.
Yet we don’t often question the assumptions that underlie cultural expectations
about gender.
Let’s start with a few misconceptions. One is that people are either male or
female. Actually, hormone levels and other factors make biological sex a more
complicated formula than you might think. The feelings and actions of both
men and women are shaped by a mixture of estrogen and testosterone, which
influence how the body and mind develop. Because these hormones are pres-
ent in both men and women in varying degrees, the difference between male
and female is more of a continuum than a question of either–or.54 For example,
people who are intersex may have hormonal profiles and physical characteristics
of both sexes.
A second misconception is that “sex” and “gender” are the same. In fact, sex
is a biological category (male, female, intersex, and so on), whereas gender is a
socially constructed set of expectations about what it means to be “masculine”
or “feminine.” A statement about a man’s long hair looking girlish reveals a par-
ticular cultural assumption. In many cultures, long hair is considered masculine.
Thus, it is possible—even necessary—for a woman to embody some attributes
associated with masculine gender, and vice versa for men. Indeed, as you will
soon see, there are advantages to embodying both “masculine” and “feminine”
qualities.
A third misconception is that masculine and feminine behaviors occur at
opposite poles on a single continuum. Early theorizing suggested that stereotypi-
cal masculine and feminine behaviors are not opposites but rather two separate
sets of behavior.55 One alternative to the masculine–feminine dichotomy is the
idea of four basic gender identities, including masculine, feminine, androgynous
(combining masculine and feminine traits), and undifferentiated (neither mascu-
line nor feminine). Even this model barely scratches the surface. As society has
become more accepting of nuanced gender identities, people have begun to iden-
tify themselves using a wide array of terms, such as pansexual, asexual, queer,
and questioning. We’ll talk more about these in Chapter 3.
Although the differences between men’s and women’s behavior are not as
great as many people think, evidence points to some differences at the extremes.
For example, especially masculine males tend to see their interpersonal relation-
ships as opportunities for competitive interaction, as opportunities to win some-
thing. Especially feminine females typically see their interpersonal relationships
Even though they’re not intentionally
malicious, some casual remarks known
as microaggressions can be perceived as
hurtful, especially when they’re directed
at members of marginalized groups. This
comment might have been intended as
a compliment, but it felt like a slight to
some people.
Have you ever experienced or committed
microaggressions?
sex A biological category such as male,
female, or intersex.
gender Socially constructed roles,
behaviors, activities, and attributes that
a society considers appropriate for men
and/or women.
androgynous Combining both mascu-
line and feminine traits.
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as opportunities to be nurturing, to express their feelings and emo-
tions.56 Androgynous individuals tend to see their relationships as
opportunities to behave in a variety of ways, depending on the nature
of the relationship, the context in which it takes place, and the myriad
other variables affecting what might constitute appropriate behavior.
These variables are often ignored by the sex-typed masculine males
and feminine females, who have a smaller repertoire of behaviors.
Women and men often judge the same behaviors quite differ-
ently. Men tend to rate verbal and nonverbal behaviors as more
flirtatious and seductive than do women.57 By contrast, women are
more likely than men to consider sexually suggestive behavior in the
workplace to be destructive, unfair, and illegal.58 Younger women are
more likely to perceive harassment than older ones, who, presum-
ably, have a different set of expectations about what kinds of com-
munication are and aren’t appropriate. Also, attitudes play a role.
People who disapprove of socializing and dating between coworkers
are more likely to perceive harassment than those who accept this
sort of relationship.59
Occupational Roles The kind of work we do also governs our view of
the world.
Perhaps the most dramatic illustration of how occupational roles shape per-
ception is a famous study from the early 1970s. Stanford psychologist Philip Zim-
bardo recruited a group of well-educated middle-class young men.60 He randomly
chose 11 to serve as “guards” in a mock prison set up in the basement of Stanford’s
psychology building. He issued the guards uniforms, handcuffs, whistles, and
billy clubs. The remaining 10 participants became “prisoners” and were placed in
rooms with metal bars, bucket toilets, and cots.
Zimbardo let the “guards” establish their own rules for the experiment. The
rules were tough: no talking during meals and rest periods and after lights-out.
Troublemakers received short rations.
Faced with these conditions, the “prisoners” began to resist. The guards reacted
to the rebellion by punishing protesters, and what had been an experiment sud-
denly became very real. Some guards turned sadistic, physi-
cally and verbally abusing the prisoners. The experiment was
scheduled to go on for 2 weeks, but after 6 days Zimbardo
had to call it off. It seems that society’s designation of our
occupational roles has a profound impact on how we behave.
Relational Roles Think back to the “Who am I?” list you
made earlier in this chapter. It’s likely your list included roles
you play in relation to others: daughter, roommate, spouse,
friend, and so on. Roles like these don’t just define who you
are—they also affect your perception.
Take, for example, the role of parent. As most new
mothers and fathers will attest, having a child alters the
way they see the world. They might perceive their crying
baby as a helpless soul in need of comfort, whereas nearby
strangers have a less charitable appraisal. As the child
grows, parents often pay more attention to the messages in
the child’s environment. One father we know said he never
noticed how much football fans curse and swear until he
took his 6-year-old to a game with him. In other words,
his role as father affected what he heard and how he inter-
preted it.
Sworn to “protect and serve,” some police have been accused of racial
profiling.
Have you ever been unfairly stereotyped by others? Have you ever been
guilty of unfairly stereotyping?
Source: Edward Koren The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
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The roles involved in romantic love can also dramatically affect perception.
These roles have many labels: partner, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, sweetheart,
and so on. There are times when your affinity biases the way you perceive the
object of your affection. You may see your sweetheart as more attractive than
other people do, and you might overlook some faults that others notice.61 Your
romantic role can also change the way you view others. One study found that
when people are in love, they view other romantic candidates as less attractive
than they normally would.62
Perhaps the most telltale sign of the effect of “love goggles” is when they come
off. Many people look at former romantic partners are wonder, “What did I ever
see in that person?” The answer—at least in part—is that you saw what your rela-
tional role led you to see.
Narratives, Perception, and Communication
We all have our own story of the world, and often our story is quite different
from those of others. A family member or roommate might think your sense of
humor is inappropriate, whereas you think you’re quite clever. You might blame
an unsatisfying class on the professor, who you think is a long-winded bore. On
the other hand, the professor might characterize the students as superficial and lazy
and blame the class environment on them. (The discussion of emotive language
in Chapter 4 will touch on the sort of name-calling embedded in the previous
sentences.)
Social scientists call these created personal stories narratives.63 In a few pages
we will look at how a tool called “perception checking” can help bridge the gap
between different narratives. For now, though, the important point is that differ-
ing narratives can lead to problematic communication.
After they take hold, narratives offer a framework for explaining behavior and
shaping future communication. For example, the stories that children in blended
families tell about their stepparents both shape and reflect how they feel about
them.64 Sudden narratives reflect a sense that the adults married quickly and
didn’t communicate effectively with their children before involving them in a rad-
ically new family structure. By contrast, idealized narratives portray stepparents
as heroic figures who help children feel like they are part of “real families.” Once
formed, narratives shape communication. If you view a stepparent as unwanted,
you’ll probably be wary, or even hostile. On the other hand, regarding the steppar-
ent as a welcome addition—or even a savior—will no doubt lead to more positive
behavior.
A classic study on long-term happy marriages demonstrates that shared nar-
ratives don’t have to be accurate to be powerful.65 Couples who report being hap-
pily married after 50 or more years seem to collude in a relational narrative that
doesn’t always reflect the facts. They often say agree that they rarely have con-
flict, although objective analysis reveals that they have had their share of dis-
agreements and challenges. Without overtly agreeing to do so, they choose to
blame outside forces or unusual circumstances for problems instead of attributing
responsibility to each other. They offer the most charitable interpretations of each
other’s behavior, believing that the spouse acts with good intentions when things
don’t go well. They seem willing to forgive, or even forget, transgressions. Exam-
ining this research, one scholar concludes:
Should we conclude that happy couples have a poor grip on reality? Perhaps
they do, but is the reality of one’s marriage better known by outside onlookers
than by the players themselves? The conclusion is evident. One key to a long
happy marriage is to tell yourself and others that you have one and then to
behave as though you do!66
cultural idiom
long-winded: speaking for a long time
narrative The stories people create
and use to make sense of their personal
worlds.
ASK YOURSELF
Describe one narrative
about yourself that
you have constructed
online. How conscious
were you in crafting
this narrative? How
accurate is it?
?
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Research like this demonstrates that the reality of what we experience isn’t
“out there”; rather, we create it with others through intrapersonal and interper-
sonal communication.
Common Perceptual Tendencies
Shared narratives may be desirable, but they can be hard to achieve. Some of the big-
gest obstacles to understanding and agreement arise from errors in interpretation, or
what psychologists call attribution—the process of attaching meaning to behavior.
We attribute meaning to both our own actions and the actions of others, but we often
use different yardsticks. Researchers have identified several perceptual errors that can
lead to inaccurate attributions—and to troublesome communication. By becoming
aware of these errors, we can guard against them and avoid unnecessary conflicts.
We Make Snap Judgments Our ancestors often had to make quick judgments
about whether strangers were likely to be dangerous, and there are still times
when this ability can be a survival skill.67 But there are many cases when judg-
ing others without enough knowledge or information can get us into trouble. If
you’ve ever been written off by a potential employer in the first few minutes of
an interview or have been unfairly rebuffed by someone you just met, then you
know the feeling. Snap judgments become particularly problematic when they
are based on stereotyping—exaggerated beliefs associated with a categorizing
system. Stereotypes based on “primitive categories” such as race, sex, and age may
be founded on a kernel of truth, but they go beyond the facts at hand and make
claims that usually have no valid basis.68
Three characteristics distinguish stereotypes from reasonable generalizations:
1. Categorizing others on the basis of easily recognized but not necessarily significant
characteristics. For example, perhaps the first thing you notice about a person
is his or her skin color—but that may not be nearly as significant as the per-
son’s intelligence or achievements.
2. Ascribing a set of characteristics to most or all members of a group. For example, you
might unfairly assume that all older people are doddering or that all men are
insensitive to women’s concerns.
3. Applying the generalization to a particular person. Once you believe all old people
are geezers and all men are jerks, it’s a short step to considering a particular
senior citizen as senile, or a particular man as a chauvinist pig.
By adulthood, we tend to engage in stereotyping frequently, effortlessly,
and often unconsciously.69 This process saves mental energy, but it can lead to
mistaken assumptions about other people based on limited information. For
example, after researchers gave college students bogus personality test results
indicating that they were either “blue” or” yellow” personality types, they were
more distrustful of people in the other color group.70 If distrust can spring up that
quickly, it’s no surprise that it becomes entrenched in daily life, where a variety
of factors may send the misguided message of “us” versus “them.” For example,
video games disproportionally depict minority male characters as excessively vio-
lent thugs and athletes, suggesting that they are distinctly different and less trust-
worthy than other characters.71
Once we create and hold stereotypes, we tend to seek out isolated behaviors
that support our inaccurate beliefs. Even when the stereotype seems positive, it
can be dehumanizing and unfair. People who frequently see Asian Americans
depicted on television as brainy and polite are more likely than others to think
that they are all alike and that success comes easily to them.72 The reality, of
course, is that Asian Americans are as diverse as any other group, and viewing
them through such a narrow lens diminishes their potential as individuals.
attribution The process of attaching
meaning.
stereotyping The perceptual process
of applying exaggerated beliefs associ-
ated with a categorizing system.
cultural idiom
yardsticks: standards of comparison
Latina Americans have made the Twitter
feed “Hispanic Girls United” a popular
forum for calling out ethnic stereotypes,
such as media photos in which Hispanic
models are either depicted as hypersexual
and wild or are airbrushed to appear
“whiter” than they are.
Do you feel the media misrepresents
social groups with which you identify?
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One way to avoid the kinds of communication problems that come from
excessive stereotyping is to “decategorize” others. Through this practice, you give
yourself a chance to treat people as individuals instead of assuming that they pos-
sess the same characteristics as every other member of the group to which you
assign them. The best antidote to stereotypes is willingness to admit how faulty
they are. Participants in one study initially rated white managers to be more com-
petent, achievement oriented, and manipulative than black managers, and black
managers to be more interpersonally skilled and less polished than their white
counterparts.73 However, those judgments largely disappeared when the partici-
pants were informed that all of the managers were successful.
We Often Judge Ourselves More Charitably Than We Judge Others In an
attempt to convince ourselves and others that the positive face we show to the
world is true, we tend to judge ourselves in the most generous terms possible.
Social scientists call this tendency fundamental attribution error, or simply the
self-serving bias.74 When others suffer, we often blame the problem on their per-
sonal qualities. On the other hand, when we suffer, we find explanations outside
ourselves. Consider a few examples:
• When someone else botches a job, we might think that person wasn’t lis-
tening well or trying hard enough; when we botch a job, the problem was
unclear directions or not enough time.
• When he lashes out angrily, we say he’s being moody or too sensitive; when
we blow off steam, it’s because of the pressure we’ve been under.
• When others don’t reply to your text or email, you might think they are
inconsiderate, disrespectful, and unprofessional. However, when we don’t
reply, we may say we were too busy, we didn’t see the message, or it didn’t
seem necessary to reply.75
Evidence like this suggests how uncharitable attitudes toward others can affect
communication. Your harsh opinions of others can lead to judgmental messages.
At the same time, you may be blind to ways that you can improve and defensive
when people question your behavior.
We Pay More Attention to Negative Impressions Than Positive Ones Research
shows that when people are aware of both the positive and negative traits of
another, they tend to be more influenced by the negative traits. For example,
employers are often turned off when they find negative images of a job candidate
on social media, even if the candidate is otherwise highly qualified.76
Sometimes a negativity bias makes sense. If an unappealing quality clearly
outweighs any positive ones, you’d be foolish to ignore it. A surgeon with shaky
hands and a teacher who hates children, for example, would be unsuitable for
their jobs whatever their other virtues. But much of the time it’s a bad idea to pay
excessive attention to negative qualities and overlook positive ones. This is the
mistake some people make when screening potential friends or dates. Of course,
it’s important to find people you truly enjoy, but expecting perfection can lead to
much unnecessary loneliness.
We Are Influenced by What Is Most Obvious Every time we encounter another
person, we are bombarded with more information than we can possibly manage.
You can appreciate this by spending 2 or 3 minutes just reporting on what you can
observe about another person through your five senses. You will find that every
time you seem to near the end, a new observation presents itself.
To make sense of others, we need to select from within an overwhelming
amount of sense data. Several factors cause us to notice some messages and ignore
others. We pay attention to stimuli that are intense (loud music, brightly dressed
self-serving bias The tendency to
interpret and explain information in a
way that casts the perceiver in the most
favorable manner.
It’s understandable to notice the most
obvious features of others, but those
aren’t necessarily the most important
ones.
What would others miss about you
if they only attended to your most
obvious features? How can you avoid
this perceptual error when encountering
strangers?
cultural idioms
lashes out: attacks verbally
blow off steam: release excess energy
or anger
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people), repetitious (dripping faucets, persistent people), or contrastive (a normally
happy person who acts grumpy or vice versa). Motives also determine what infor-
mation we select from our environment. If you’re anxious about being late for a
date, you’ll notice clocks. If you’re hungry, you’ll become aware of restaurants,
markets, and billboards advertising food. Motives also determine how we per-
ceive people.
If intense, repetitious, or contrastive information were the most important
thing to know about others, there would be no problem. But the most noticeable
behavior of others isn’t always the most important. For example:
• When two children (or adults, for that matter) fight, it may be a mistake
to blame the one who lashes out first. Perhaps the other one was at least
equally responsible, by teasing or refusing to cooperate.
• You might complain about an acquaintance whose malicious gossiping or
arguing has become a bother, forgetting that, by previously tolerating that
kind of behavior, you have been at least partially responsible.
• You might blame an unhappy work situation on the boss, overlooking other
factors beyond her control, such as a change in the economy, the policy of
higher management, or demands of customers or other workers.
We Cling to First Impressions, Even If Wrong Labeling people according to our
first impressions is an inevitable part of the perception process. These labels are a
way of making interpretations. “She seems cheerful.” “He seems sincere.” “They
sound awfully conceited.”
Problems arise when the labels we attach are inaccurate, because after we form
an opinion of someone, we tend to hang on to it and ignore any conflicting infor-
mation. Suppose, for instance, you mention the name of your new neighbor to a
friend. “Oh, I know him,” your friend replies. “He seems nice at first, but it’s all an
act.” Perhaps this appraisal is off base. Whether or not the judgment is accurate,
after you accept your friend’s evaluation, it will probably influence the way you
respond to the neighbor. Your response may in turn influence your neighbor’s
behavior, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The power of first impressions is important in personal relationships. A study
of college roommates found that those who had positive initial impressions of
each other were likely to have positive subsequent interactions, manage their
conflicts constructively, and continue living together.77 The converse was also
true: Roommates who got off to a bad start tended to spiral negatively—hence
the old adage, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Given
the almost unavoidable tendency to form first impressions, the best advice we can
offer is to keep an open mind. Be willing to change your opinion as events prove
that your first impressions were mistaken.
We Tend to Assume That Others Are Similar to Us We commonly imagine that
others possess the same attitudes and motives that we do. This tendency often
leads to mistaken assumptions, as in the following examples:
• You’ve heard an off-color joke that you found funny. You might assume that
it won’t offend a friend. It does.
• You’ve been bothered by an instructor’s digressions during lectures. You
decide that your instructor will probably be grateful for some constructive
criticism, as you would be. Unfortunately, you’re wrong.
• You lost your temper with a friend a week ago and said some things you
regret. In fact, if someone said those things to you, you would consider the
relationship finished. Imagining that your friend feels the same way, you
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avoid making contact. In fact, your friend feels that he was partly respon-
sible and has avoided you because he thinks you’re the one who wants to
end things.
Examples like these show that others don’t always think or feel the way we
do and that an assumption of similarities can lead to problems. For example,
men are more likely than women to think that flirting indicates an interest in
having sex.78
How can you find out the other person’s real position? Sometimes by asking
directly, sometimes by checking with others, and sometimes by making an edu-
cated guess after you’ve thought the matter out. All these alternatives are better
than simply assuming that everyone would react the way you do.
Don’t misunderstand: We don’t always commit the kind of perceptual errors
described in this section. Sometimes, for instance, people are responsible for
their misfortunes, and sometimes our problems are not our fault. Likewise, the
most obvious interpretation of a situation may be the correct one. Nonetheless,
research proves again and again that our perceptions of others are often distorted
in the ways listed here. The moral, then, is clear: Don’t assume that your first judg-
ment of a person is accurate.
Perception in Mediated Communication
Mediated communication offers fewer cues about others than you get in face-to-
face interaction. The ability to edit a message before posting makes it easy to craft
an identity that doesn’t match what you would encounter in person.
Despite the apparent barriers to accurate perception in mediated channels,
people can form accurate impressions of one another in cyberspace—though not
in the same ways as when they communicate in person.79 Early in relationships,
people who meet in person have more accurate impressions of one another than
those who meet online.80 But over time, people can get to know each other well
online and may even share information about themselves that they would be
reluctant to disclose in person.81
In text-based channels, receivers depend more on writing style to get a sense
of the sender. This means that typos and grammatical mistakes can ruin your
reputation on the job. Researchers in one study found that 74% of people notice
spelling and grammar errors on corporate websites, and most of them avoid doing
business with those companies as a result. It follows that employees with poor
writing skills are a liability rather than an asset. One analyst compares sloppy
writing to the unprofessionalism of wearing an egg-stained shirt or pajamas to
work.82
Empathy, Perception, and Communication
By now it’s clear that differing perceptions present a major challenge to communi-
cators. One solution is to increase the ability to empathize. Empathy is the ability
to re-create another person’s perspective, to experience the world from the other’s
point of view.
Dimensions of Empathy As we’ll use the term here, empathy has three
dimensions:83
1. On one level, empathy involves perspective taking—the ability to take on the
viewpoint of another person. This understanding requires you to set aside
your own opinions and see things as another person does.
2. Besides cognitive understanding, empathy also has an emotional dimension
that allows you to experience what others are feeling. You might share their
empathy The ability to project oneself
into another person’s point of view, so
as to experience the other’s thoughts
and feelings.
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fear, joy, sadness, and so on. When you combine the
perspective- taking and emotional dimensions, you may
see that empathizing allows you to experience the other’s
perception—in effect, to become that person temporarily.
3. Empathy requires a genuine concern for the welfare of the
other person. When you empathize with others, you go
beyond just thinking and feeling as they do; you genu-
inely care about their well-being.
It’s easy to confuse empathy with sympathy, compas-
sion for another’s situation, but the concepts are different
in two important ways. First, empathy means you have a
personal sense of another’s experience, whereas if you are
sympathetic you do not necessarily share another person’s
experience. Second, we only sympathize when we accept
the reasons for another’s pain as valid, whereas it’s possible
to empathize without feeling sympathy. Perhaps you have
witnessed a frustrated customer berating a cashier on a busy shopping day.
You have felt similar frustration before, so you empathize. But this customer’s
behavior is so over the top that you have little sympathy for him. In the same
way, you can empathize with a difficult relative or even a criminal without
feeling much sympathy for that person. Empathizing allows you to understand
another person’s motives without requiring you to agree with them. After empa-
thizing, you will almost certainly understand a person better, but sympathy
won’t always follow.
The ability to empathize seems to exist in a rudimentary form in even the
youngest children. Virtually from birth, infants are attentive to the sound of other
babies crying, and they are likely to cry along. Although toddlers are notorious for
wanting toys all to themselves, when a playmate is hurt or upset, their desire to
comfort may win out. Young children often stop playing to offer a hug, soothing
words, or a toy to friends in distress, suggesting that empathy is a strong motivat-
ing force even in early life.84
People vary in their ability to understand how others feel. This is partly
because of the abilities they are born with. Some people seem to have a heredi-
tary capacity for greater empathy than do others.85 But most people can develop
their empathic capacity by being aware and attentive. Parents and teachers can
help by role-modeling empathic behaviors86 and by pointing out to children
how their actions affect others (“Look how sad Jessica is because you took her
toy. Wouldn’t you be sad if someone took away your toys?”). Children who are
encouraged to understand how others feel and who are rewarded for being con-
siderate tend to demonstrate more empathy and prosocial behavior than their
peers do.87
There is no consistent evidence that the ability to empathize is greater for one
sex or another. On average, teenage girls tend to develop adult levels of empa-
thy sooner than boys do, but the boys usually catch up.88 Women are commonly
considered to be more empathic toward children than men are, in part because
of traditional parenting roles. But the latest research shows that people of any
sex who identify with certain characteristics, such as being affectionate, gentle,
and nurturing, are typically more responsive to babies’ nonverbal cues than other
adults are.89
Total empathy is impossible to achieve. Completely understanding another
person’s point of view is simply too difficult a task for humans with different
backgrounds and limited communication skills. Nonetheless, it is possible to
sympathy Compassion for another’s
situation.
Source: William Steig The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
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get a strong sense of what the world looks like through another per-
son’s eyes.
Perception Checking Good intentions and a strong effort to empa-
thize are one way to understand others. Along with a positive atti-
tude, a simple tool can help you interpret the behavior of others more
accurately. To see how this tool operates, consider how often others
jump to mistaken conclusions about your thoughts, feelings, and
motives:
“Why are you mad at me?” (Who said you were?)
“What’s the matter with you?” (Who said anything was the matter?)
“Come on now. Tell the truth.” (Who said you were lying?)
As you’ll learn in Chapter 7, even if your interpretation is cor-
rect, a dogmatic, mind-reading statement is likely to generate defen-
siveness. The skill of perception checking provides a better way to
handle your interpretations. A complete perception check has three
parts:
1. A description of the behavior you noticed
2. At least two possible interpretations of the behavior
3. A request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior
Perception checks for the preceding three examples would look
like this:
“When you stomped out of the room and slammed the door [behav-
ior], I wasn’t sure whether you were mad at me [first interpretation] or
just in a hurry [second interpretation]. How did you feel [request for
clarification]?”
“You haven’t laughed much in the last couple of days [behavior]. I wonder
whether something’s bothering you [first interpretation] or whether
you’re just feeling quiet [second interpretation]. What’s up [request for
clarification]?”
“You said you really liked the job I did [behavior], but there was something
about your voice that made me think you may not like it [first interpreta-
tion]. Maybe it’s just my imagination, though [second interpretation].
How do you really feel [request for clarification]?”
Perception checking is a tool for helping us understand others
accurately instead of assuming that our first interpretation is correct.
Because its goal is mutual understanding, perception checking is a
cooperative approach to communication. Besides leading to more
accurate perceptions, it minimizes defensiveness. Instead of saying
in effect, “I know what you’re thinking . . . ,” a perception check takes
the more respectful approach that states or implies, “I know I’m not
qualified to judge you without some help.”
Sometimes a perception check is effective without all of the parts
listed earlier:
“You haven’t dropped by lately. Is anything the matter [single interpreta-
tion combined with request for clarification]?”
“I can’t tell whether you’re kidding me about being cheap or if you’re serious
[behavior combined with interpretations]. Are you mad at me?”
“Are you sure you don’t mind driving? I can use a ride if it’s no trouble, but
I don’t want to take you out of your way [no need to describe behavior].”
cultural idiom
dropped by: made an unplanned visit
CHECKLIST
Check Your Perceptions
Before Responding
The next time you feel puzzled or upset about
someone’s behavior, don’t jump to conclusions.
Instead, follow these steps to find out more.
Describe the behavior. (“You didn’t say any-
thing in response to my ideas.”)
Suggest at least two interpretations of the
behavior. (“Maybe you needed some time to
think about it. Or perhaps my ideas weren’t
what you had in mind.”)
Request clarification about how to interpret
the behavior. (“I value your opinion. What
are the pros and cons of my ideas, as you see
them?”)
perception checking A three-part method for
verifying the accuracy of interpretations, including
a description of the sense data, two possible inter-
pretations, and a request for confirmation of the
interpretations.
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Of course, a perception check can succeed only if your nonverbal behav-
ior reflects the open-mindedness of your words. An accusing tone of voice or
a hostile glare will contradict the sincerely worded request for clarification,
suggesting that you have already made up your mind about the other person’s
intentions.
Communication and Identity
Management
So far we have described how communication shapes the way communicators view
themselves and others. In the remainder of this chapter we turn the tables and focus
on identity management—the communication strategies people use to influence
how others view them. In the following pages you will see that many of our mes-
sages aim at creating desired impressions.
Public and Private Selves
To understand why identity management exists, we have to discuss the notion of
self in more detail. So far we have referred to the “self” as if each of us had only
one identity. In truth, each of us possesses several selves, some private and others
public. Often these selves are quite different.
The perceived self is a reflection of the self-concept. Your perceived self is
the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination. We
can call the perceived self “private” because you are unlikely to reveal all of it to
another person. You can verify the private nature of the perceived self by review-
ing the self-concept list you developed while reading page 37. You’ll probably find
some elements of yourself there that you would not disclose to many people, and
some that you would not share with anyone. You might, for example, be reluctant
to share some feelings about your appearance (“I think I’m rather unattractive”),
your intelligence (“I’m not as smart as I wish I were”), your goals (“The most
important thing to me is becoming rich”), or your motives (“I care more about
myself than about others”).
In contrast to the perceived self, the presenting self is a public image—the
way we want to appear to others. In most cases the presenting self we seek to
create is a socially approved image: diligent student, loving partner, conscientious
worker, loyal friend, and so on. Social norms often create a gap between the per-
ceived and presenting selves.
Sociologist Erving Goffman used the word face to describe the presenting self,
and he coined the term facework to describe the verbal and nonverbal ways we
act to maintain our own presenting image and the images of others.90 He argued
that each of us can be viewed as a kind of playwright who creates roles that we
want others to believe, as well as the performer who acts out those roles.
Facework involves two tasks: managing our own identity and communicating
in ways that reinforce the identities that others are trying to present.91 You can
see how these two goals operate by recalling a time when you have used self-
deprecating humor to defuse a potentially unpleasant situation. Suppose, for
example, that a friend gave you confusing directions to a party that caused you
to be late. “Sorry I got lost,” you might have said. “I’m a terrible navigator.” This
sort of mild self-put-down accomplishes two things at once. It preserves the other
person’s face by implicitly saying, “It’s not your fault.” At the same time, your mild
self-debasement shows that you’re a nice person who doesn’t find faults in others
or make a big issue out of small problems.92
identity management Strategies
used by communicators to influence the
way others view them.
perceived self The person we believe
ourselves to be in moments of candor. It
may be identical to or different from the
presenting and ideal selves.
presenting self The image a person
presents to others. It may be identical to
or different from the perceived and ideal
selves. See also face.
face The socially approved identity that
a communicator tries to present.
facework Verbal and nonverbal behav-
ior designed to create and maintain a
communicator’s face and the face of
others.
cultural idiom
turn the tables: reverse an existing
situation
In most situations, we have a choice about
how much information to reveal. The
challenge is how to present an accurate
image of our true selves without revealing
information we might later regret.
How congruent are your public
and private selves? Are you over- or
undersharing?
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Characteristics of Identity
Management
Now that you have a sense of what identity
management is, we can look at some character-
istics of this process.
We Have Multiple Identities In the course
of even a single day, most people play a vari-
ety of roles: respectful student, joking friend,
friendly neighbor, and helpful worker, to
suggest just a few. We even play a variety of
roles with the same person. As a teenager,
you almost certainly changed characters as
you interacted with your parents. In one con-
text you acted as the responsible adult (“You
can trust me with the car!”), and in another
context you were the helpless child (“I can’t
find my socks!”). At some times—perhaps on
birthdays or holidays—you were a dedicated
family member, and at other times you may
have played the role of rebel. Likewise, in
romantic relationships we switch among many ways of behaving, depending on
the context: friend, lover, business partner, scolding critic, apologetic child, and
so on.
The ability to construct multiple identities is one element of communication
competence. For example, the style of speaking or even the language itself can
reflect a choice about how to construct one’s identity. We recall an African Ameri-
can colleague who was also minister of a Southern Baptist congregation consist-
ing mostly of black members. On campus his manner of speaking was typically
professorial, but a visit to hear him preach one Sunday revealed a speaker whose
style was much more animated and theatrical, reflecting his identity in that con-
text. Likewise, one scholar pointed out that bilingual Latinos in the United States
often choose whether to use English or Spanish depending on the kind of identity
they are seeking in a given conversation.93
Identity Management Is Collaborative As we perform like actors trying to create
a persona (character), our “audience” is made up of other actors who are trying to
create their own. Identity-related communication is a kind of theater in which we
collaborate with other actors to improvise scenes.
You can appreciate the collaborative nature of identity management by think-
ing about how you might handle a minor complaint about a friend’s behavior:
You: By the way, Jenny said she texted you last week to invite us to her party. If
you let me know, I guess I missed it.
Friend: Oh, sorry. I meant to tell you in person, but our schedules have been so
crazy this week that I haven’t seen you.
You: (in friendly tone of voice) That’s okay. Maybe next time you can just forward
the text to me.
Friend: No problem.
In this upbeat conversation, both you and your friend accept each other’s
bids for identity as basically thoughtful people. As a result, the conversation runs
smoothly. Imagine, though, how different the outcome would be if your friend
didn’t accept your role as “nice person”:
None of us has a single self. We present
ourselves differently, depending on the
circumstances.
What multiple selves do you show the
world? How authentic and appropriate
are each of them?
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You: By the way, Jenny said she texted you last week to invite us to her party. If
you let me know, I guess I missed it.
Friend: (defensively) Okay, so I forgot. It’s not that big a deal. You’re not perfect
either!
At this point you have the choice of persisting in trying to play the original role:
“Hey, I’m not mad at you, and I know I’m not perfect!” Or, you might switch to the
new role of “unjustly accused person,” responding with aggravation, “I never said
I was perfect. But we’re not talking about me here.”
As this example illustrates, collaboration doesn’t mean the same thing as agree-
ment. The small issue of the forgotten text might mushroom into a fight. The point
here is that virtually all conversations provide an arena in which communicators
construct their identities in response to the behavior of others. As you read in
Chapter 1, communication isn’t made up of discrete events that can be separated
from one another. Instead, what happens at one moment is influenced by what
each party brings to the interaction and by what happened in their relationship
up to that point.
Identity Management Can Be Conscious or Unconscious At this point you might
object to the notion of strategic identity management, claiming that most of your
communication is spontaneous and not a deliberate attempt to present yourself
in a certain way. However, you might acknowledge that some of your communica-
tion involves a conscious attempt to manage impressions.
There’s no doubt that sometimes we are highly aware of managing our iden-
tities. You try hard to make a good impression during job interviews and first
dates. You act differently around friends than at work or in the classroom. Frame
switching involves adopting different perspectives based on the cultures and
situations in which we find ourselves.94 You may know people who aren’t very
good at this. They tend to say things that are unfitting for the situation and offend
others by being more aggressive, casual, or standoffish than people expect them
to be. Identity management can be especially hard work for people who operate in
two or more cultures. A Filipino American man describes the duality of his work
and family life this way: “At my first job I learned I had to be very competitive and
fighting with my other coworkers for raises all the time, which I was not ready
for—being brought up as nice and quiet in my family.”95
In other cases, we engage in identity management without thinking much
about it. You probably don’t give a lot of conscious thought to whether you should
smile or laugh, but much of the time this is a decision. Consider the gap between
how we express humor online and in person: People don’t actually LOL as much
as their texts say they do. In reality, people are far less likely to laugh or smile
when alone than with other people. Smiles and laughter are social cues as much
(or more) as they are expressions of emotion. We tend to trust people who smile
(as long as it seems genuine) more than those who don’t,96 and we generally per-
ceive people who smile and laugh to be more attractive than stern people with
similar features.97
We also develop scripts over time—habitual, reflexive ways of behaving.
When you meet a new person or greet a customer at work, for example, you may
say and do fairly consistent things. Public speakers often develop fairly elaborate
scripts to talk about familiar topics. In many cases, scripts are effective and save
us mental energy. They can have downsides, however, when we don’t think clearly
about the demands of the moment or how others may interpret our words and
actions.
People Differ in Their Degree of Identity Management Some people are much
more aware of their identity management behavior than others. These high
frame switching Adopting the per-
spectives of different cultures.
script Habitual, reflexive way of
behaving.
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self-monitors have the ability to pay attention to their own behavior and others’
reactions and adjust their communication to create the desired impression. By
contrast, low self-monitors express what they are thinking and feeling without
much attention to the impression their behavior creates.98
There are advantages to being a high self-monitor. People who pay attention
to themselves are generally good actors who can create the impression they want,
acting interested when bored, or friendly when they really feel quite the opposite.
This allows them to handle social situations smoothly, often putting others at
ease. They are also good “people-readers” who can adjust their behavior to get the
desired reaction from others. Along with these advantages, there are potential dis-
advantages to being an extremely high self-monitor. The analytical nature of high
self-monitors may prevent them from experiencing events completely because a
portion of their attention is devoted to viewing the situation from a detached
position. High self-monitors’ ability to act means that it is difficult to tell how
they are really feeling. In fact, because high self-monitors change roles often, they
may have a hard time knowing themselves how they really feel.
People who score low on the self-monitoring scale live life quite differently
from their more self-conscious counterparts. They have a simpler, more focused
idea of who they are and who they want to be. Low self-monitors are likely to have
a narrower repertoire of behaviors, so that they tend to act in more or less the
same way regardless of the situation. This means that low self-monitors are easy to
read. “What you see is what you get” might be their motto. Although this lack of
flexibility may make their social interaction less smooth in many situations, low
self-monitors can be counted on to be straightforward communicators.
By now it should be clear that neither extremely high nor low self-monitoring
is ideal. In some situations paying attention to yourself and adapting your behav-
ior can be useful, but in other situations reacting without considering the effect
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Managing Identity and Coming Out
I grew up in a mid-size town in Mexico. My siblings and I
were taught to never do anything to “dishonor” the name of
our family.
From a very early age I sensed I was not a boy who liked
girls. My father was very involved in Mexican rodeo, and he
expected me to ride a horse, rope, and deal with cattle. I quit
when I was twelve. My dad never understood why.
Middle school was hard. I coped with bullies by being funny
and making fun of others before they could make fun of me. I
had a girlfriend for a year. It was all pretend, but it helped ease
the harassment. By high school I knew was gay and wanted to
live openly. But my religious upbringing, peer group, and fam-
ily’s reputation were all in the way of me coming out.
I started living a double life during college. Guilt became
the main emotion I felt. I became very cold and distant
with everyone in my family. To cover up my identity, I had a
girlfriend for three years. After college I met the first openly
gay men who were comfortable and happy. I fell in love with
one of them, and he helped me understand that I needed to
have the courage to accept who I am and to stop hiding this
from my family.
It took three more years for me to come out to my siblings.
Those were the hardest conversations I have ever endured.
My siblings urged me to not tell my parents, who they said
would be upset and saddened. Unfortunately I followed their
suggestion, and my mom passed without me ever sharing this
part of myself. Still, I am sure she knew the truth. I have never
told my dad directly that I am gay. When we talk, he always
asks me how I am doing and how John (my partner) is doing.
That is his way of letting me know he knows.
I can sleep much better at night since I came out sixteen
years ago. Since then, I have stopped worrying what others
think about me. There is no guilt and I feel complete. I know
I am happy.
J. C. Rivas
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on others is a better approach. This need for a range of behaviors demonstrates
again the notion of communicative competence outlined in Chapter 1: Flexibility
is the key to successful relationships.
Identity Management in the Workplace
Some advisors encourage workers to “just be yourself” on the job. But there are
times when disclosing certain information about your personal life can damage your
chances for success.99 This is especially true for people with “invisible stigmas”—
traits that, if revealed, may cause them to be viewed unfavorably.100
Many parts of a worker’s identity have the potential to be invisible stigmas:
religion (evangelical Christian, Muslim), sexual orientation (gay, lesbian, bisex-
ual), and health (bipolar, HIV positive). What counts as a stigma to some people
(politically progressive, conservative) might be favored in another organization.101
As you consider how to manage your identity at work, consider the following:
1. Proceed with caution. In an ideal world, everyone would be free to reveal
themselves without hesitation. But in real life, total candor can have conse-
quences, so it is best to move slowly.
2. Assess the organization’s culture. If people in your workplace seem sup-
portive of differences—and especially if they appear to welcome people like
you—then revealing more of yourself may be safe.
3. Consider the consequences of not opening up. Keeping an important part
of your identity secret can also take an emotional toll.102 If keeping quiet is truly
necessary, you may be better off finding a more welcoming place to work.
4. Test the waters. If you have a trusted colleague or manager, think about
revealing yourself to that person and asking advice about whether and how to
go further. But realize that even close secrets can leak, so be sure the person
you approach can keep confidences.
Another aspect of identity management at work involves letting other people
know about your achievements. See the “@Work” box on page 60 for more about
striking a balance between self-promoting and bragging.
Why Manage Identities?
Why bother trying to shape others’ opinions? Sometimes we create and maintain
a front to follow social rules. As children we learn to act polite, even when bored.
Likewise, part of growing up consists of developing a set of manners for various
occasions: meeting strangers, attending school, going to religious services, and so
on. Young children who haven’t learned all the do’s and don’ts of polite society
often embarrass their parents by behaving inappropriately (“Mommy, why is that
man so fat?”). But by the time they enter school, behavior that might have been
excusable or even amusing just isn’t acceptable. Good manners are often aimed
at making others more comfortable. For example, able-bodied people may mask
their discomfort on encountering someone with a disability by acting nonchalant
or stressing similarities between themselves and the other person.
Social rules govern our behavior in a variety of settings. It would be impossi-
ble to keep a job, for example, without meeting certain expectations. Salespeople
are obliged to treat customers with courtesy. Employees should appear reasonably
respectful when talking to the boss. Some forms of clothing would be considered
outrageous at work. By agreeing to take on a job, you sign an unwritten contract
that you will present a certain face at work, whether or not that face reflects the
way you feel at a particular moment.
Even when social roles don’t dictate the proper way to behave, we often
manage identities for a second reason: to accomplish personal goals. You might,
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for example, dress up for a visit to traffic court in the hope that your front (respon-
sible citizen) will convince the judge to treat you sympathetically. You might act
sociable to your neighbors so they will agree to your request that they keep their
dog off your lawn. We also try to create a desired impression to achieve one or
more of the social needs described in Chapter 1: affection, inclusion, control, and
so on. For instance, you might act more friendly and lively than you feel on meet-
ing a new person so that you will appear likable. You could sigh and roll your eyes
when arguing politics with a classmate to gain an advantage in an argument. You
might smile and preen to show the attractive stranger at a party that you would
like to get better acquainted. In situations like these you aren’t being deceptive as
much as putting your best foot forward.
All these examples show that it is difficult—even impossible—not to create
impressions. After all, you have to send some sort of message. If you don’t act
friendly when meeting a stranger, you have to act aloof, indifferent, hostile, or
in some other manner. If you don’t act businesslike, you have to behave in an
cultural idiom
putting your best foot forward:
making the best appearance possible
@WORK
Humblebragging in Job Interviews
Life is hard for humblebraggers. Every golden moment
inspires an ostensibly modest complaint about a daz-
zling accomplishment. Can’t you just feel the envy—and
anguish—of their social media followers?
why does the Mercedes dealership always have fresh baked hot
cookies?! don’t they understand how mean that is?
Why can’t I look cool when I meet @TomHanks & he hands me his
Emmy? Instead I get so excited & look like a goober.
I’m wearing a ponytail, rolled out of bed from a nap, at the bar w/
my guy and guys r still hitting on me. Like really?
After reading even a few humblebrags, you probably
agree that they are . . . well, annoying. A Harvard study
confirms that trying to pass off a brag as a complaint usually
doesn’t fool anyone.103 After reading humblebraggers’ online
posts, participants in the study gave them low marks in
terms of likability, sincerity, and competence.
Despite the blatant faux modesty of humblebrags, some-
times it’s necessary to self-promote, especially in the world
of work. People were humblebragging in job interviews long
before the term was even invented: “My greatest weakness?
It’s probably that I’m a perfectionist.” Self-serving comments
like this sound phony. But are they worse than honest confes-
sions such as, “I’m not very organized” or “I’m not a team
player”? How can you share your accomplishments without
being self-defeating on one hand or boastful on the other?
In the second part of their humblebragging study,
the Harvard team put those questions to the test. The
researchers asked college students to respond in writ-
ing to the classic job interview question: “What is your
biggest weakness?” Trained evaluators then assessed how
likely they would be to hire the students based on their
responses. In the end, humblebraggers (“I find myself doing
a lot of favors for others”) were less likely to be hired than
those who revealed honest weaknesses (“I sometimes tend
to procrastinate”).
Honesty carries the day, say the researchers: “While
people do not love braggers or complainers, they at least
see them as more sincere than humblebraggers.”104
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alternative way: casual, goofy, or whatever. Often the question isn’t
whether or not to present a face to others; the question is only which
face to present.
Identity Management in Mediated
Communication
At first glance, computer-mediated communication (CMC) seems
to have limited potential for identity management. As you read in
Chapter 1, text-based messages lack the “richness” of other channels.
They are less vivid and detailed than, say, face-to-face communica-
tion and video chats. Text messages don’t convey the postures, ges-
tures, or facial expressions that impart important cues about what
people really mean. They even lack the vocal information available
in telephone messages. These limitations might seem to make it
harder to create and manage an identity at a distance.
Recently, though, communication scholars have begun to rec-
ognize that what is missing in CMC can actually be an advantage
for communicators who want to manage the impressions they
make. For example, research shows that teens tend to strategically
post photos that make them appear attractive and socially engaged
with others and omit those that are less flattering.105 Email authors
can edit their messages to include just the right amount of clarity, ambiguity,
humor, or logic to convey the desired impression.106 Unlike face-to-face commu-
nication, electronic correspondence allows a sender to say difficult things without
forcing the receiver to respond immediately, and it permits the receiver to ignore
a message rather than give an unpleasant response. With CMC you don’t have to
worry about stammering or blushing, apparel or appearance, or any other unseen
factor that might detract from the impression you want to create. Options like
these show that CMC can serve as a tool for impression management.
Taking impression management even further, strangers online can change
their age, history, personality, appearance, and other matters that would be
impossible to hide in person.107 A quarter of teens have pretended to be a different
person online, and a third confess to having given false information about them-
selves while emailing and instant messaging. A survey of one online dating site’s
participants found that 86% felt others misrepresented their physical appearance
in their posted descriptions.108 For more about the pros and cons of virtual iden-
tity management, see the “Understanding Communication Technology” box on
the next page.
Identity Management and Honesty
After reading this far, you might think that identity management sounds like an aca-
demic label for manipulation or phoniness. If the perceived self is the “real” you, it
might seem that any behavior that contradicts it would be dishonest.
There certainly are situations in which identity management is dishonest. A
manipulative date who pretends to be affectionate in order to gain sexual favors is
clearly unethical and deceitful. So are job applicants who lie about their academic
records to get hired and salespeople who pretend to be dedicated to customer ser-
vice when their real goal is to make a quick buck. But managing identities doesn’t
necessarily make you a liar. In fact, it is almost impossible to imagine how we
could communicate effectively without making decisions about which front to
present in one situation or another. It would be ludicrous for you to act the same
way with strangers as you do with close friends, and nobody would show the
same face to a 2-year-old as to an adult.
cultural idiom
make a quick buck: earn money
easily
Source: Peter Steiner The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
62 CHAPTER 2 The Self, Perception, and Communication
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Each of us has a repertoire of faces—a cast of characters—and part of being a
competent communicator is choosing the best role for the situation. Consider a
few examples:
• You have been communicating online for several weeks with someone you
just met, and the relationship is starting to turn romantic. You have a physi-
cal trait that you haven’t mentioned yet.
• You offer to teach a friend a new skill: playing the guitar, operating a com-
puter program, or sharpening a tennis backhand. Your friend is making
slow progress with the skill, and you find yourself growing impatient.
• At a party with a companion, you meet someone you find very attractive,
and you are pretty sure the feeling is mutual. You feel an obligation to
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Identity Management in Social Media
Go ahead and roll your eyes. The video-game version of Kim
Kardashian is clearly a “kustomized” (her word) version of
the real woman. Virtual Kim lives in a world filled with parties
and photo shoots where she looks her best 24 hours a day.
No real human could pull this off.
Now turn the lens on yourself. Is your online image an
accurate depiction of who you are in the flesh? The discrep-
ancy may not approach Kardashian proportions, but for
most of us, the answer is no.
Social media is a powerful tool for identity management.
People typically experience a boost in self-esteem when
they believe people they care about are viewing positive
images of them on Facebook.109
There are downsides to online identities, however, as
celebrities have long known. For one, it’s easy to wonder if
people like the real you or only the stylized, online version.
“My ideal self . . . lives in a perpetually clean house and . . .
always takes the time to put on makeup before she leaves
the house,” observes freelance writer Kelsey Sunstrum.110
Online, she largely lives up to that image. But in person, she
doesn’t smile all the time or always look her best. In fact, she
experiences frequent bouts of depression that her online
followers don’t see.
Second, your self-esteem can take a hit if you compare
yourself to other people’s online identities. Young adults
(both male and female) who frequently view and comment
on peers’ Facebook images are more likely than others to
feel dissatisfied with their own appearance.111
Another downside is that online identities are subject
to sabotage. Anyone with a smart phone can snap and post
unflattering photos of you for the world to see. At the same
time, it’s easier than ever for people to publicly comment on
your appearance and behavior.
How can you stay emotionally healthy while managing
your online identity? Experts offer the following advice:
Don’t overdo it. Too much screen time can make the vir-
tual world feel more real than actual face time. Scale back
to keep a healthy perspective.112
Avoid adding to the negativity. As we have seen all
too often (ahem, Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry), one nega-
tive post often leads to others. Resist the impulse to post
something negative, even in response to a critical com-
ment aimed at you. People who know the real you know
won’t be fooled by unfair criticism.
Strive for authenticity. As tempting as it is to post glam-
our shots all the time, the ultimate selfie is one that shows
you as you really are.
As one cultural observer reminds us, even Kim Kardashian
“puts her Spanx on one leg at a time. Being human is, by
definition, ordinary.”113
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CHAPTER 2 Review
spend most of your time with the person with whom you came, but the
opportunity here is very appealing.
• At work you face a belligerent customer. You don’t believe that anyone has
the right to treat you this way.
• A friend or family member makes a joke about your appearance that hurts
your feelings. You aren’t sure whether to make an issue of the remark or
pretend that it doesn’t bother you.
In each of these situations—and in countless others every day—you have a
choice about how to act. It is an oversimplification to say that there is only one
honest way to behave in each circumstance and that every other response would
be insincere and dishonest. Instead, impression management involves decid-
ing which face—which part of yourself—to reveal. For example, when teaching
a new skill, you can choose to display the patient instead of the impatient side
of yourself. In the same way, at work you have the option of acting hostile or
nondefensive in difficult situations. With strangers, friends, or family you can
choose whether or not to disclose your feelings. Which face to show to others is
an important decision, but in any case you are sharing a real part of yourself. You
may not be revealing everything—but, as you will learn in Chapter 7, complete
self-disclosure is rarely appropriate.
It’s also worth noting that not all misrepresentations are intentional. Research-
ers have used the term foggy mirror to describe the gap between participants’ self-
perceptions and a more objective assessment. An online dater who describes
himself or herself as being “average” in weight might be engaging in wishful
thinking rather than telling an outright lie.114
We began the chapter with Caitlyn Jenner, who says that although the gender
transition has been difficult, it feels good that her social identity now matches
her self-perception. As she puts it, there’s “nothing better in life [than] to wake up
in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and feel comfortable with yourself
and who you are.”115
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Identify the communicative influ-
ences that shape the self-concept.
• The self-concept is a set of relatively stable perceptions
that each of us holds about ourselves.
• Although we are born with some innate personality char-
acteristics, communication and cultural/social factors
also help shape our self-concept.
2.1
• Once established, the self-concept can lead us to create
self-fulfilling prophecies that determine how we behave in
response to our own and other people’s perceptions of us.
> Name at least four factors that influence a person’s
self-concept. Explain the role of communication rel-
evant to each of these factors.
> Describe a relationship or event that had a powerful
impact on your self-concept. What role did commun-
ciation play?
> Recognizing the power of self-fullfilling prophecies,
present a scenario in which you might use communi-
cation to help someone believe in him- or herself and
consequently achieve an important goal.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Honesty and Multiple
Identities
Explore the ethics of multiple identities by
identifying two situations from your life:
1. A time when you presented a public
identity that didn’t match your private
self in a manner that wasn’t unethical.
2. A situation (real or hypothetical)
in which you have presented or could
present a dishonest identity.
Based on the situations you and your
classmates present, develop a code
of ethics that identifies the boundary
between ethical and unethical identity
management.
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
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CHAPTER 2 The Self, Perception, and Communication
OBJECTIVE Examine the perceptual tendencies
and situational factors that influence our perceptions of
other people.
• Perception is a multistage process that includes selection,
organization, and interpretation.
• Our perceptions of other people are influenced by a range
of factors including our emotions, how we feel physi-
ologically, cultural expectations, and social roles.
• We often incorporate our perceptions into personal nar-
ratives that not only tell a story but suggest a particular
interpretation that others may accept or challenge.
• Perceptual tendencies and errors can affect the way we
view and communicate with others.
• Empathy is a valuable tool for increasing understanding
of others and hence communicating more effectively
with them, both in person and online.
• Perception checking is one tool for increasing the accu-
racy of perceptions and for increasing empathy.
> List and explain at least five perceptual tendencies
that shape how individuals make judgments about
other people.
> Describe an experience in which you met someone
new. How did your impressions of that person evolve
in the context of the perceptual phases of selection,
organization, and interpretation?
> How could greater empathy have changed an inter-
personal conflict you have experienced?
OBJECTIVE Describe how the process of identity
management operates, in both face-to-face and online
communication.
• Identity management consists of strategic communi-
cation designed to influence others’ perceptions of an
individual.
• Identity management is usually collaborative.
• Identity management occurs for two reasons: (1) to
follow social rules and conventions and (2) to achieve a
variety of content and relational goals.
• Communicators engage in creating impressions by man-
aging their manner, appearance, online posts, and the
settings in which they interact with others.
• Although identity management might seem manipu-
lative, it can be an authentic form of communication.
Because each person has a variety of faces that he or she
can present, choosing which one to present is not neces-
sarily being dishonest.
> Explain how people use facework and frame switch-
ing to manage their private and public identities.
2.2
2.3
> Describe at least three different identities you pres-
ent. Compare and contrast the communication strat-
egies you use to support each.
> Have you ever been judged on the basis of your sex or
gender? In what ways have you judged other people?
What perceptual tendencies contribute to such judg-
ments? What advice do you have for avoiding hurtful
and unfair judgments?
KEY TERMS
androgynous p. 46
attribution p. 49
empathy p. 52
face p. 55
facework p. 55
frame switching p. 57
gender p. 46
identity management p. 55
interpretation p. 44
narrative p. 48
organization p. 43
perceived self p. 55
perception checking p. 54
personality p. 38
presenting self p. 55
reflected appraisal p. 38
script p. 57
selection p. 43
self-concept p. 37
self-esteem p. 37
self-fulfilling prophecy p. 41
self-serving bias p. 50
sex p. 46
significant other p. 38
social comparison p. 39
stereotyping p. 49
sympathy p. 53
ACTIVITIES
1. Exploring Narratives Think of a situation in which you
and others have achieved relational harmony by sharing
a narrative. Then think of a situation in which you and
another person used different narratives to describe a set
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CHAPTER 2 Review
a. Describe the persona you are trying to project (e.g.,
“responsible son or daughter,” “laid-back friend,”
“attentive student”).
b. Explain how you communicate to promote this iden-
tity. What kinds of things do you say (or not say)?
How do you act?
of circumstances. What were the consequences of having
different narratives?
2. Identifying Your Identities Keep a 1-day log listing the
identities you create in different situations: at school and
at work, and with strangers, various family members, and
different friends. For each identity:
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Communication
and Culture
67
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Understanding Cultures and Cocultures 69
Intercultural and Intergroup Communication: A Matter of Salience
Cultural Differences Are Generalizations
Cultural Values and Norms Shape Communication 71
Individualism and Collectivism
High and Low Cultural Context
Uncertainty Avoidance
Power Distance
Beliefs About Talk and Silence
Competitive and Cooperative Cultures
Cocultures and Communication 78
Race and Ethnicity
Regional Differences
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
Religion
Physical Ability/Disability
Age/Generation
Socioeconomic Status
Developing Intercultural Communication Competence 87
Increased Contact
Tolerance for Ambiguity
Open-Mindedness
Knowledge and Skill
Patience and Perseverance
3
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
3.1
Analyze the influence of cultures
and cocultures on intergroup
communication, explaining
the concepts of salience and
generalizations.
3.2
Distinguish among the following
cultural norms and values, and
explain how they influence
communication: individualism
and collectivism, high and low
context, uncertainty avoidance,
power distance, talk and silence,
competition and cooperation.
3.3
Evaluate the influence of factors
such as race and ethnicity,
sexual identity, religion, age,
and socioeconomic status on
communication.
3.4
Use the criteria in this chapter
to assess your intercultural
and cocultural communication
competence, and describe how
you could communicate more
competently.
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“HOW ARE YOU?” The question seems simple, but it can be tricky
to answer, as Bin “Robin” Luo, an exchange student from China, has
learned. Where he grew up, people seldom talk to strangers, says
Luo. But when people do speak, they tend to focus intently on each
other. By contrast, many Americans seem especially outgoing, but
they often ask questions without expecting much of a reply.
“I still consider ‘How are you?’ as more than just a ‘Hello,’” Luo
says, after five months in the United States. “I want to stop and
explain my feelings. But sometimes Americans just ask and then walk
past you without waiting for your answer.”
Luo, an engineering student from Guangdong Province in south-
ern China, says he was eager to study in the United States because
the country and its educational system are highly respected. He
thought it would be fascinating to learn about cultural ways so differ-
ent from his own. Luo’s interest in living abroad isn’t unique: Around
the world, one in seven foreign exchange students is from China, and
about half of Chinese exchange students choose the United States.1
Indeed, the United States hosts more students from China than from
any other country.
Adapting to cultural differences isn’t always easy. Americans may
be surprised to hear that many foreigners find the United States a
hard place to make friends. Luo says this is partly because, without
knowing the culture well, it’s hard to tell when Americans are genu-
inely interested in friendship and when they are just being polite.
“When I have talked to someone more than 15 minutes, I would
think we can go further as friends,” Luo says. “But Americans may
consider it a casual conversation, and they may say, ‘Let’s get
together’ or ‘I’ll call you’ but not follow through.” He says he gen-
erally admires the optimistic attitude and forthrightness he has
encountered, but he is puzzled by some of the communication pat-
terns of his fellow students.
Robin Luo’s
story shows that even a
simple statement such as
“How are you?” can be
interpreted many different
ways. Take a moment
to think about your own
experiences involving culture
and communication.
?
Have you ever interacted
with people from a culture
significantly different from
your own? If so, did they
communicate in ways that
surprised or puzzled you?
How?
?
Have you ever felt like a cul-
tural stranger or minority,
even in your home commu-
nity? If so, how did it affect
your communication with
others?
?
What could you do to com-
municate more successfully
with people from cultural
backgrounds different from
your own?
Understanding Cultures and Cocultures 69
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Robin Luo’s experiences as an exchange stu-
dent shed light on how culture influences com-
munication. But you don’t have to be a world
traveler to encounter people from different
places and cultures in today’s global village.
Without leaving home, we are more connected
with people from different backgrounds than
at any time in history. That’s partly because
travel is easier than ever before, and the Inter-
net makes communicating around the world
as easy as communicating around town. It’s
also because society is more diverse than
ever—in terms of culture, age, race and ethnic-
ity, physical ability, personal identity, family
background, and more.
As you’ll see in this chapter, this diversity
presents both obvious benefits and unique
communication challenges. We will explore
both. The main themes in this chapter include:
• When culture does—and when it
doesn’t—affect communication
• The mostly hidden values and norms
that can shape interaction between
people from different backgrounds
• How diversity within our own culture
shapes communication
• Some ways that culture affects sending and receiving messages
• How to become more competent in communicating with people from dif-
ferent backgrounds
Understanding Cultures
and Cocultures
Defining culture isn’t an easy task. One early survey of scholarly literature revealed
500 definitions, phrasings, and uses of the concept.2 For our purposes, here is a
clear and comprehensive definition of culture: “the language, values, beliefs, tradi-
tions, and customs people share and learn.”3
When you think of cultures, you may think of different nationalities. But
within a society, differences also exist. Social scientists use the term coculture to
describe the perception of membership in a group that is part of an encompassing
culture. The sons and daughters of immigrants, for example, might be immersed
in mainstream American culture while still identifying with the customs of their
parents’ homeland. Members of cocultures often develop unique patterns of com-
munication. The term that describes interaction among members of different
cocultures is intergroup communication.
Cocultures in today’s society include, for example,
• Age (e.g., teen, senior citizen)
• Race/ethnicity (e.g., African American, Latino, white)
culture The language, values, beliefs,
traditions, and customs people share
and learn.
coculture The perception of member-
ship in a group that is part of an encom-
passing culture.
intergroup communication The
interaction between members of
cocultures.
Despite living in Brooklyn, one of the most culturally diverse spots in the United States,
the friends on HBO’s Girls spend much of their time with people who look and speak
like them. Creator and star Lena Dunham has been criticized for the show’s culturally
homogenous characters.
How closely does your circle of acquaintances match the diversity of today’s society?
CHAPTER 3 Communication and Culture70
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• Sexual orientation (e.g., LGBTQ)
• Physical disability (e.g., wheelchair users, Deaf persons)
• Language (e.g., native and nonnative speakers)
• Religion (e.g., Mormon, Muslim)
• Activity (e.g., biker, gamer)
Membership in cocultures can be a source of identity, enrichment, and pride.
But when the group is stigmatized by others, being identified as a member isn’t
always so fulfilling. Some research suggests that recognizable members of under-
represented groups are disadvantaged in employment interviews and social set-
tings, in which the rules are established by the dominant culture.4 Studies of
Jamaican5 and Latino6 children indicate that skin color often influences self-
identification and self-esteem. Other research focuses on reactions to people with
disabilities. Although almost all of U.S. high school students polled in one survey
said they would greet a classmate with a physical disability and would gladly lend
the person a pen or pencil, more than a third were reluctant to spend time with
the same classmate outside of school, mostly because they felt awkward and they
assumed they wouldn’t have much in common.7
The odds of overturning stereotypes may seem insurmountable. But the news
isn’t all bad: People who interact daily with people from different cultural back-
grounds are less likely to be prejudiced than those who do not.8 (We’ll talk more
about this later in the chapter.) Positive media images also have an influence. For
example, the popularity of former U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama has helped
enhance the attitude that dark skin is beautiful, not only in the United States but
around the world.9
Membership in a coculture can shape the nature of communication. Some-
times the influence is obvious. For example, it’s no surprise that members of
the millennial generation rely more on social media to communicate than their
grandparents, or even their parents.10 Children who are native language speakers
probably have a very different experience in school than
nonnative speakers, and gay men and lesbians can find
it awkward to discuss their romantic relationships with
some heterosexual people.
In other cases, though, cocultural communication
practices aren’t so obvious. For example, ethnic back-
ground can influence what people consider to be the
most important qualities in a friendship. One study
found that Latinos were highly likely to value relational
support and bonding with friends. By contrast, Asian
Americans (as a group, of course) placed a greater value
on helping one another achieve personal goals. For Afri-
can Americans in the study, the most important quality
in a friend was respect for and acceptance of the indi-
vidual. European Americans reported that they valued
friends who met their task-related needs, offered advice,
shared information, and had common interests.11
Intercultural and Intergroup
Communication: A Matter of Salience
Intercultural and intergroup communication—at least as
we’ll use the terms here—don’t always occur when people
from different backgrounds interact. Those backgrounds
must have a significant impact on the exchange before we
ASK YOURSELF
Which cocultures are
most fundamental to
your identity?
?
Jane Villanueva (aka Jane the Virgin) struggles to find the right path in her
drama-fraught life. At various times in this telenovela send-up, different
parts of Jane’s identity (smart, middle class, religious, Latina) are more and
less salient.
Does the prominence of cultural and cocultural factors shift in your life, or
do some factors almost always seem most salient?
Cultural Values and Norms Shape Communication
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71
can say that culture has made a difference. Social scientists use the term salience
to describe how much weight we attach to cultural characteristics. Consider a few
examples in which culture has little or no salience:
• A group of preschool children is playing together in a park. These 3-year-
olds don’t recognize that their parents may come from different countries,
or even that they don’t speak the same language. At this point we wouldn’t
say that intercultural or intergroup communication is taking place. Only
when cultural factors (e.g., diet, sharing, or parental discipline) become
salient do the children begin to think of one another as different.
• Members of a school athletic team—some Asian American, some African
American, some Latino, and some white—are intent on winning the league
championship. During a game, cultural distinctions aren’t salient. There’s
plenty of communication, but it isn’t fundamentally intercultural or inter-
group. Away from their games, the players are friendly when they encounter
one another, but they rarely socialize. If they did, they might notice some
fundamental differences in the ways members of each group communicate.
• A husband and wife were raised in different religious traditions. Most of the
time their religious heritage makes little difference and the partners view
themselves as a unified couple. Every so often, however—perhaps during
the holidays or when meeting members of each other’s family—the dif-
ferent backgrounds are more salient. At those times we can imagine the
partners feeling quite different from each other—thinking of themselves as
members of separate cultures.
These examples show that in order to view ourselves as a member of a culture or
coculture, there has to be some distinction between “us” and “them.” Social sci-
entists use the label in-groups to describe groups with which we identify and are
emotionally connected, and out-groups to label those we view as different and
with whom we have no sense of affiliation.12
Cultural Differences Are Generalizations
It’s important not to overstate the influence of culture on communication. There
are sometimes greater differences within cultures than between them. Consider the
matter of formality as an example: By most measures, U.S. culture, broadly, is
far more casual than many others. But Figure 3-1 shows that there may be more
common ground between a formal American and a casual member of a formal cul-
ture than there is between two Americans with vastly differing levels of formality.
Furthermore, within every culture, members display a wide range of com-
munication styles. For instance, although most Asian cultures tend to be collec-
tivistic, many members of those cultures identify themselves as individualists.
It’s important to remember that cultural differences are generalizations—broad
patterns that do not apply to every member of a group.
Cultural Values and Norms Shape
Communication
Some cultural influences on communication are obvious. You don’t have to be a
researcher to appreciate that different languages and customs can make communi-
cation between groups interesting and challenging.
Along with the obvious differences, far less visible values and norms shape how
members of cultures think and act. This section will look at several of the subtle
salience How much weight we attach
to a particular person or phenomenon.
in-groups Groups with which we
identify.
out-groups Groups we view as differ-
ent from us.
CHAPTER 3 Communication and Culture72
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yet vitally important factors that shape the way mem-
bers of a culture communicate. Unless communicators
are aware of these differences, they may see people from
other cultures as unusual—or even offensive—with-
out realizing that their apparently odd behavior comes
from following a different set of beliefs and unwritten
rules about the “proper” way to communicate.
Individualism and Collectivism
Some cultures value the individual more than the group,
whereas others place greater emphasis on the group.
Members of individualistic cultures view their primary
responsibility as helping themselves, whereas communi-
cators in collectivistic cultures feel loyalties and obliga-
tions to one’s extended family, community, or even the
organization one works for.13
The way names are treated offers an insight into the difference between indi-
vidualism and collectivism. When asked to identify themselves, individualistic
Americans, Canadians, Australians, and Europeans usually respond by giving
their first name, surname, street, town, and country. But collectivistic South
Asians do it the other way around. If you ask Hindus for their identity, they will
give you their caste and village and then their family name, and finally their given
name.14 The Chinese student profiled at the beginning of this chapter writes his
name Luo Bin in China, putting his family name first. But in the United States,
where individualism is prized, he follows the convention of putting his surname
last: Bin (Robin) Luo.
The differences between individualist and collectivist orientations extend
beyond naming and are reflected in the very structure of some languages. As
mentioned in Chapter 2, the Chinese pronoun for I looks very similar to the
word for selfish.15 The Japanese language has no equivalent to the English pro-
noun I. Instead, different words are used to refer to one’s self depending on the
social situation, age, gender, and other social characteristics.16 Individualistic
and collectivistic cultures have very different approaches to communication. For
example, individualistic cultures are relatively tolerant of conflicts, using a direct,
solution-oriented approach. By contrast, members of collectivistic cultures are
less direct, often placing a greater emphasis on harmony.17 Individualistic cultures
are also characterized by self-reliance and competition, whereas collectivistic
cultures are more attentive to and concerned with the opinions of significant
others.18 Table 3-1 illustrates some of the main differences between individualistic
and collectivistic cultures.
Collectivistic societies predominantly produce team players, whereas indi-
vidualistic ones are more likely to produce and reward superstars. Some research
suggests that collectivist groups have a higher sense of teamwork and are more
productive than groups made up of individualistic members.19
After growing up in China, Robin Luo says that Americans seem remark-
ably confident in the way they speak and act. As members of an individualistic
culture, they are comfortable talking about their own accomplishments or even
saying they are really good or the best at something. Luo estimates that Americans
are willing to make decisions, even when they know only “about 70 percent” of
the details about a situation. “They are seldom afraid of making mistakes,” he
observes. By contrast, “in China, when we face a problem, we may be quiet and
consider a lot about its consequences before taking actions, even if not much is
likely to happen.”
individualistic culture A culture
in which members focus on the value
and welfare of individual members, as
opposed to a concern for the group as
a whole.
collectivistic culture A culture in
which members focus on the welfare of
the group as a whole, rather than a con-
cern by individuals for their own success.
USA
Low
Formality
More
formal
cultures
Similarities
High
FIGURE 3-1 Formality Differences and Similarities Within and Between Cultures
Cultural Values and Norms Shape Communication 73
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The Self in Individualistic Versus Collectivistic Cultures
INDIVIDUALISTIC CULTURES COLLECTIVISTIC CULTURES
Self is separate, unique, independent; “I” orientation. Identity is interwoven with extended family and other groups;
“we” orientation.
Individual should take care of himself or herself and immediate
family.
Person should take care of extended family before self.
There are many flexible group memberships; friends are based
on shared interests and activities.
Emphasis is on belonging to a few permanent in-groups, which
have a strong influence over the person.
There are rewards for individual achievement and initiative;
individual decision is encouraged; individual credit and blame
are assigned.
There are rewards for contributing to group goals and well-
being; cooperation with in-group members is encouraged; group
decisions are valued; credit and blame are shared.
High value is placed on autonomy, change, youth, individual
security, and equality.
High value is placed on duty, order, tradition, age, group security,
status, and hierarchy.
Source: Adapted by Sandra Sudweeks from H. C. Triandis. (1990). Cross-cultural studies of individualism and collectivism. In J. Berman (Ed.), Nebraska symposium on
motivation (pp. 41–133). Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press; and E. T. Hall. (1976). Beyond culture. New York: Doubleday.
TABLE 3-1
Members of collectivist societies are typically less publicly egotistical because
touting personal accomplishments would put the individual ahead of the group.
“Chinese tend to describe themselves a little bit lower than what they actually
are,” Luo explains. “Chinese will say they are so-so even if they are very good.”
As you might imagine, either of these approaches can be effective, but they may
lead to misunderstandings when people have different assumptions about them.
Americans may mistakenly assume that people who are humble lack confidence
or achievements, whereas people from collectivistic cultures may judge Americans
to be overbearing and self-centered.
Cultural differences can also affect the level of comfort or anxiety that people
feel when communicating. In societies in which the need to conform is great, there
is a higher degree of communication apprehension. For example, South Koreans
exhibit more conflict avoidance and more apprehension about speaking in front
of people than members of individualistic cultures such as the United States.20 It’s
important to realize that different levels of communication apprehension don’t
mean that shyness is a “problem” in some cultures. In fact, just the just the oppo-
site is true: In these cultures, reticence is valued. When the goal is to avoid being
the nail that sticks out, it’s logical to feel nervous when you make yourself appear
different by calling attention to yourself. A self-concept that includes “assertive”
might make a Westerner feel proud, but in much of Asia people may speak forth-
rightly to members of their in-group but consider it inappropriate or shameful to
do so with out-group members.
Culture plays an important role in our ability to understand the perspectives
of others. People raised in individualist cultures, which value independence, are
often less adept at seeing others’ point of view than those from collectivist cul-
tures. In one study, Chinese and American players were paired together in a game
that required them to take on the perspective of their partners.21 By all measures,
the collectivist Chinese had greater success in perspective taking than did their
American counterparts. Of course, it’s important to recall that cultural differences
are generalizations. There are elements of collectivism in Western cultures and of
individualism in Asian ones.22
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The difference between individualism and collectivism shows up in every-
day interactions. Communication researcher Stella Ting-Toomey has developed
a theory that explains cultural differences in important norms, such as honesty
and directness.23 She suggests that in individualistic Western cultures where there
is a strong “I” orientation, the low-context norm of speaking directly is honored,
whereas in collectivistic cultures where the main desire is to build connections
between the self and others, high-context, indirect approaches that maintain har-
mony are considered more desirable. “I gotta be me” could be the motto of a
Westerner, but “If I hurt you, I hurt myself” is closer to the Asian way of thinking.
High and Low Cultural Context
Social scientists have identified two distinct ways that members of various cultures
deliver messages.24 In low-context cultures, members use language primarily to
express thoughts, feelings, and ideas as directly as possible. By contrast, members
of high-context cultures rely heavily on subtle, often nonverbal cues to maintain
social harmony. Rather than upsetting others by speaking directly, communicators
in these societies learn to discover meaning from the context in which a message is
delivered: the nonverbal behaviors of the speaker, the history of the relationship,
and the general social rules that govern interaction between people.
Americans are likely to state their concerns or complaints up front, whereas
people raised in high-context cultures usually hint at them.25 Luo, the Chinese
exchange student profiled on page 68, gives an example:
Suppose a guy feels bad about his roommate eating his snacks. If he is Chinese,
he may try to hide his food secretly or choose a certain time to say, “My snacks
run out so fast, I think I need to buy more next time.” Before this, he also may
think about whether his roommate would hate him if he says something wrong.
But Americans may point out directly that someone has been eating their food.
It’s easy to see the potential for misunderstanding in situations like this. The
roommate from China may feel it is obvious, based on the situation and his
indirect statement, that he is upset about his roommate eating his food. But the
American—who may expect his friend to say outright if he is upset—may miss
the point entirely. Table 3-2 summarizes some key differences in how people from
low- and high-context cultures use language.
Mainstream culture in the United States, Canada, northern Europe, and Israel
falls toward the low-context end of the scale. Longtime residents generally value
straight talk and grow impatient with people who beat around the bush. By con-
trast, most Asian and Middle Eastern cultures fit the high-context pattern. For
them, maintaining harmony is important, so communicators avoid speaking
directly if doing so would threaten another person’s “face,” or dignity.
High- and low-context differences also operate within domestic cocultures. For
example, in a classic study, researcher Laura Leets presented European Americans
and people of color—Asian American, African American, and Latino—with
examples of racist messages.26 Some of these messages were direct and blatantly
offensive, whereas others were indirect and less overtly racist. Leets found that
European American participants judged the directly racist messages as more hurt-
ful, whereas Asian American respondents rated the indirectly racist comments as
more damaging. She concluded that the traditional Asian tendency to favor high-
context messages explains why Asian Americans were more offended by indirectly
racist speech.
It’s easy to see how the clash between directness and indirectness can pres-
ent challenges. To members of high-context cultures, communicators with a low-
context style can appear overly talkative, lacking in subtlety, and redundant. On
cultural idiom
beat around the bush: make indirect
remarks instead of stating a point
clearly and directly.
Singer, songwriter, actress, and model
Demi Lovato has used social media to
share her experiences with mental illness
and addiction.
In what contexts do you consider
it appropriate to share personal
information? What information would
you share only with close friends and
loved ones? How do these choices vary by
culture?
low-context culture A culture that
uses language primarily to express
thoughts, feelings, and ideas as directly
as possible.
high-context culture A culture that
relies heavily on subtle, often nonverbal
cues to maintain social harmony.
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the other hand, to people from low-context backgrounds, high-context commu-
nicators often seem evasive, or even dishonest.
Uncertainty Avoidance
Uncertainty may be universal, but cultures have different ways of coping with
an unpredictable future. The term uncertainty avoidance is used to reflect the
degree to which members of a culture feel threatened by ambiguous situations
and how much they try to avoid them.27 As a group, residents of some coun-
tries (including Singapore, Great Britain, Denmark, Sweden, Hong Kong, and
the United States) are relatively unthreatened by change, whereas others (such
as natives of Belgium, Greece, Japan, and Portugal) find new or ambiguous situ-
ations discomfiting.
A culture’s degree of uncertainty avoidance is reflected in the way its mem-
bers communicate (see Table 3-3). In countries that avoid uncertainty, out-of-
the- ordinary people and ideas are considered dangerous, and intolerance is high.
People in these cultures are especially concerned with security, so they have a
strong need for clearly defined rules and regulations. It’s easy to imagine how most
relationships in cultures with a high degree of uncertainty avoidance are likely to
fit a predictable pattern. By contrast, people in cultures that are less threatened by
the new and unexpected are more likely to tolerate—or even welcome—people
who don’t fit the norm.
uncertainty avoidance The cultural
tendency to seek stability and honor
tradition instead of welcoming risk,
uncertainty, and change.
High- and Low-Context Communication Styles
LOW CONTEXT HIGH CONTEXT
The majority of information is carried in explicit verbal messages,
with less focus on the situational context.
Important information is carried in contextual cues such as time,
place, relationship, and situation. There is less reliance on explicit
verbal messages.
Self-expression is valued. Communicators state opinions and
desires directly and strive to persuade others to accept their
viewpoints.
Relational harmony is valued and maintained by indirect
expression of options. Communicators abstain from saying “no”
directly.
Clear, eloquent speech is considered praiseworthy. Verbal
fluency admired.
Communicators talk “around” the point, allowing others to fill in
the missing pieces. Ambiguity and the use of silence are admired.
TABLE 3-2
Differences Between Low- and High-Uncertainty-Avoidance Societies28
LOW UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE HIGH UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE
Uncertainty inherent in life is accepted. Uncertainty inherent in life is treated as a continuous threat that
must be fought.
Uncertainty is typically not a cause of great anxiety or stress. Uncertainty often causes high stress, anxiety, emotionality.
Deviant personas and ideas are tolerated. Personas and ideas that don’t fit the norm are treated with
intolerance.
Ambiguity and chaos do not cause stress. Clarity and structure are valued and expected.
Teachers may say “I don’t know.” Teachers are supposed to have all the answers.
Rules—written or unwritten—are disliked. Rules are treated as emotionally necessary, even if they are not
obeyed.
TABLE 3-3
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Power Distance
Power distance refers to the extent of the gap between social groups who possess
resources and influence and those who don’t. Cultures with low power distance
believe in minimizing the difference between various social classes. Rich and
poor, educated and uneducated groups may still exist, but there’s a pervasive belief
in low-power-difference cultures that one person is as good as another regardless
of his or her station in life (see Table 3-4).
Austria, Denmark, Israel, and New Zealand are the most egalitarian coun-
tries. At the other end of the spectrum are countries with a high degree of power
distance: the Philippines, Mexico, Venezuela, India, and Singapore.29 Anyone
familiar with communication in the United States and Canada knows that those
cultures value equality, even if it’s not perfectly enacted. For example, they might
call their bosses by their first names and challenge the opinions of people in
higher status positions.
By contrast, in cultures with high power distance it may seem rude to treat
everyone the same way. In the Japanese workplace, for example, new acquain-
tances exchange business cards immediately, which helps establish everyone’s rel-
ative status. The oldest or highest ranking person receives the deepest bows from
others, the best seat, the most deferential treatment, and so on. This treatment is
not regarded as elitist or disrespectful. Indeed, treating a high-status person the
same as everyone else would seem rude.
As an exchange student from China, Robin Luo has observed that Americans
often interact informally with their bosses and professors, even to the extent of
calling them by their first names. That would not happen in China, he says, where
it would be considered disrespectful for an employee or student to omit the title
or to use a first name. The same rule applies to addressing students of higher rank
unless they are very close friends.
Beliefs About Talk and Silence
Beliefs about the very value of talk differ from one culture to another.32 People in
Western cultures tend to view talk as desirable and use it for social purposes as well
as to perform tasks. Silence can feel embarrassing and awkward in these cultures.
It’s likely to be interpreted as lack of interest, unwillingness to communicate, hostil-
ity, anxiety, shyness, or a sign of interpersonal incompatibility.
On the other hand, Asian cultures tend to perceive talk quite differently. For
thousands of years, people in Asian cultures have favored silence over “excessive”
verbal expression of thoughts and feelings. Consider these Taoist sayings: “In
much talk there is great weariness” and “One who speaks does not know; one who
power distance The degree to which
members of a group are willing to
accept a difference in power and status.
Differences Between Low- and High-Power-Distance Societies30
LOW POWER DISTANCE HIGH POWER DISTANCE
Power is usually associated with formal roles; powerful people
may be good or evil.
Power is a basic fact of society to be accepted without question.
Parents treat children as equals. Parents teach children obedience.
Older people are neither respected nor feared. Older people are both respected and feared.
Education is student centered. Education is teacher centered.
Hierarchical roles are established for convenience and do not
reflect the assumption of inherent equality.
The hierarchy reflects the assumption of inherent inequalities.
Subordinates expect to be consulted. Subordinates expect to be told what to do.
TABLE 3-4
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knows does not speak.” Unlike Westerners, who tend to be uncomfortable with
silence, Japanese and Chinese people more often believe that remaining quiet is
the proper state when there is nothing to be said. To Asians, a talkative person is
often considered a show-off or a fake.
Silence is also valued more in some European cultures. For example, Swedes
are more reluctant than Americans to engage in small talk with strangers. With
friends, however, their behavior is much more similar to that of Americans.33
Members of some Native American communities also honor silence. For
example, traditional members of Western Apache tribes maintain silence when
others lose their temper. As one member explained, “When someone gets mad
at you and starts yelling, then just don’t do anything to make him get worse.”34
Apache also consider that silence has a comforting value. The idea is that words
are often unnecessary in periods of grief, and it is comforting to have loved ones
present without the pressure to maintain conversations with them.
It’s easy to see how these different views about speech and silence can
lead to communication problems when people from different cultures meet.
Both the “talkative” Westerner and the “silent” Asian and Native American are
behaving in ways they believe are proper, yet each may view the other with
disapproval and mistrust. Only when they recognize the different standards
of behavior can they adapt to one another, or at least understand and respect
their differences.
Competitive and Cooperative Cultures
Cultures are a bit like people in that they fall somewhere on a spectrum between
competitive and cooperative.35 The cultures of some countries, such as Taiwan, place
relatively equal value on competition and cooperation.36 In other countries, such as
Japan, Italy, Nigeria, and Great Britain, qualities such as competitiveness, indepen-
dence, and assertiveness are highly valued. Gender roles may be clearly differenti-
ated in these more competitive cultures. Women are often expected to take care of
home and family life, whereas men have been traditionally expected to shoulder
most of the financial responsibilities.
@WORK
Power Distance and Culture in the Workplace
On-the-job communication is different in low- and high-
power-distance societies.31 In countries with higher degrees
of power distance, employees have much less input into the
way they perform their work. In fact, workers from these cul-
tures are likely to feel uncomfortable when given freedom
to make their own decisions or when a more egalitarian boss
asks for their opinion. They prefer to view their bosses as
benevolent decision makers.
The reverse is true when managers from a culture with an
egalitarian tradition do business in a country whose workers
are used to high power distance. The managers may be sur-
prised that employees do not expect much say in decisions
and do not feel unappreciated when they aren’t consulted.
They may regard dutiful, submissive, respectful employees
as lacking initiative and creativity—traits that helped people
gain promotions back home.
Given these differences, it’s easy to understand why multina-
tional companies need to consider fundamental differences
in communication values and behavior when they set up
shop in a new country.
Do you work with people from cultures with beliefs about power distance
that differ from yours? How do those differences show up when you work
together? Can you think of ways to manage these differences that will
improve both personal relationships and workplace effectiveness?
cultural idiom
set up shop: establish a business
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Gender roles are less differentiated in more cooperative cultures, which
emphasize equality, relationships, cooperation, and consensus building.37 In Ice-
land, the Netherlands, and Norway, for example, both men and women tend to
consider harmony and cooperation to be more important than competition.
Cultural orientations influence how people communicate with one another
and what motivates them. Male leaders in competitive cultures tend to focus more
on employees’ achievements than on their unique qualities and relationships,
whereas the opposite is true of leaders in cooperative cultures.38
Cocultures and Communication
Much of how we view ourselves and how we relate to others grows from our cultural
and cocultural identity—the groups with which we identify. Where do you come
from? What’s your ethnicity? Your religion? Your sexual orientation? Your age?
In the following pages we will look at some—though by no means all—of
the factors that help shape our cultural identity, and hence the way we perceive
and communicate with others. As you read on, think about other cocultures that
might be added to this list.
Race and Ethnicity
Race is a construct originally created to explain differences between people whose
ancestors originated in different regions of the world—Africa, Asia, Europe, and so
on. Modern scientists acknowledge that although there are some genetic differences
between people with different heritage, they mostly involve superficial qualities
such as hair color and texture, skin color, and the size and shape of facial features.
As one analyst puts it:
There is less to race than meets the eye. . . . The genes influencing skin color
have nothing to do with the genes influencing hair form, eye shape, blood type,
musical talent, athletic ability or forms of intelligence. Knowing someone’s skin
color doesn’t necessarily tell you anything else about him or her.40
There are several reasons why race has little use in explaining individual dif-
ferences. Most obviously, racial features are often misinterpreted. A well-traveled
friend of ours from Latin America says that she is often mistaken as Italian,
Indian, Spanish, or Native American.
More important, there is more genetic variation within races than between
them. For example, some people with Asian ancestry are short, but others are
tall. Some have sunny dispositions, while others are more stern. Some are terrific
athletes, while others were born clumsy. The same applies to people from every
background. Even within a physically recognizable population, personal experi-
ence plays a far greater role than superficial characteristics such as skin color.41 As
you read in Chapter 2, stereotyping is usually a mistake.
Ethnicity is another social construct. Ethnicity refers to the degree to which a
person identifies with a particular group, usually on the basis of nationality, cul-
ture, religion, or some other perspective.42 This goes beyond physical indicators.
For example, a person may have physical characteristics that appear Asian, but
they may identify more strongly as a Mormon or a member of the working class.
It is simplistic to think of people as members of a single category. This is true
for everyone, but consider Barack Obama as an example. He is generally recog-
nized as the first African American president of the United States, despite the fact
that his mother was white. Obama experienced a variety of cultural influences
The election of Sadiq Khan as the
mayor of London was a triumph of
multiculturalism. Khan told a reporter
that he was more than a Muslim: “I’m a
Londoner, I’m a European, I’m British, of
Asian origin, of Pakistani heritage.39
To what cocultures do you belong?
How do these memberships affect your
communication?
race A construct originally created to
explain differences between people
whose ancestors originated in differ-
ent regions of the world—Africa, Asia,
Europe, and so on.
ethnicity A social construct that refers
to the degree to which a person identi-
fies with a particular group, usually on
the basis of nationality, culture, religion,
or some other unifying perspective.
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while living in Indonesia, Hawaii, California, New York, Chicago, and Washing-
ton, DC. Social scientists use the term intersectionality to describe the complex
interplay of people’s multiple identities. The theory proposes that people are not
simply the sum total of the different identities. For example, if you are black, gay,
male, rich, and Methodist, your experiences are not a simply an amalgam of these
as “separate” identities. Living at the intersection of these factors gives rise to a
perspective and collection of experiences all their own.43,44 Intersectionality theo-
rists argue that it’s a mistake to focus on one cultural or cocultural dimension in
isolation because people are shaped by all the elements of their identity.45
Identifying with more than one group can be challenging. Consider someone
like Heather Greenwood, who is biracial. Strangers inquire how her children can
be fair skinned, because she is dark. Others ask if she is the children’s nanny or
joke that the kids must have been “switched in the hospital” when they were born.
The implication, Greenwood says, is that a legitimate family is either one color or
another. She hears comments such as these nearly every day. “Each time is like a
little paper cut, and you think, ‘Well, that’s not a big deal.’ But imagine a lifetime
of that. It hurts,” she says.46
Along with the challenges, multiple-group membership can be a bonus.
Research indicates such people are more comfortable than usual establishing rela-
tionships with a diverse array of people, which increases their options for friend-
ships, romantic partners, and professional colleagues.47
Regional Differences
Where you come from can shape feelings of belonging and how others regard you.
Accent is a case in point. Speakers of standard (“newscaster”) English are typically
viewed as more competent and self-confident than others, and people tend to take
what they say more seriously.48 In one experiment, researchers asked human resource
professionals to rate the intelligence, initiative,
and personality of job applicants after listen-
ing to a brief recording of their voices. The
speakers with recognizable regional accents—
from the southern United States or New Jersey,
for example—were tagged for lower level jobs,
whereas those with less pronounced speech
styles were recommended for higher level jobs
that involved more public contact.49
The effect of nonnative accents is even
stronger. In one study, jurors in the United
States found testimony less believable when
delivered by witnesses speaking with Mexi-
can, German, or Middle Eastern accents.50 Not
surprisingly, other research shows that speak-
ers with nonnative accents feel stigmatized by
the bias against them, often leading to a lower
sense of belonging and more communication
challenges.51
Accents are not the only indicator of
regional differences. Sociolinguist Deborah
Tannen recorded the conversation at a Thanks-
giving Day dinner that included two Chris-
tians who grew up in California, three Jewish
people from New York, and a British woman.52
Tannen found that the Jewish New Yorkers
intersectionality The idea that
people are influenced in unique ways by
the complex overlap and interactions of
multiple identities.
Source: Paul Noth The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
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spoke with what she called a “high-involvement” style that worked well with their
companions from the same background but was regarded differently by the Eng-
lishwoman and the Californians:
At times the Californians felt interrupted when their Jewish friends mistook a
pause for breath as a turn-relinquishing one. At other times, exclamations like
“Wow!” or “That’s impossible!” which were intended to encourage the conversa-
tion, stopped it instead. The New Yorkers in my study assumed that a speaker
who wasn’t finished wouldn’t stop just because someone else started.53
Even facial expressions have a regional basis. In the United States, unwritten
rules about smiling vary from one part of the country to another. People from
southern and border states smile the most, and Midwesterners smile more than
New Englanders.54 Given these differences, it’s easy to imagine how a college
freshman from North Carolina might regard a new roommate from Massachu-
setts as unfriendly, and how the New Englander might view the southerner as
overly expressive.
A fascinating series of studies revealed that climate and geographic latitude
were remarkably accurate predictors of communication predispositions.55 Com-
pared to northerners, people living in southern latitudes of the United States were
less tolerant of ambiguity, higher in self-esteem, more likely to touch others, and
more likely to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. This helps explain why com-
municators who travel from one part of a country to another often find that their
old patterns of communicating do not work as well in their new location. A south-
erner whose relatively talkative, high-touch style seemed completely normal at
home might be viewed as pushy and aggressive in a new northern home.
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
“NOBODY KNOWS I’M GAY.” That witty saying is emblazoned on thousands of
T-shirts sold by former comedian Skyler Thomas, a champion of the LGBTQ move-
ment. LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer—a collec-
tion of adjectives that describes people with diverse sexual orientations and gender
identities.
Not all LGBTQ individuals are gay. Transgender individuals don’t feel that
their biological sex is a good description of who they are. For example, some
people who were born boys identify more with a feminine identity, and vice versa.
And people typically describe themselves as queer if they don’t feel that other
gender adjectives describe them well or if they dislike the idea of gender categori-
zations in general. The Q sometimes stands for “questioning” as well, underlining
the idea that gender is not always a fixed or static construct.56
Of course, the LGBTQ acronym does not exhaust the spectrum of sexual iden-
tities and orientations. Some might add an I for intersex individuals, who have
both male and female genitalia; an A for asexual individuals, who are not inter-
ested in sex; another A for allies, who fit none of the other descriptions but sup-
port the idea of nuanced gender identities; and a P for pansexual, people who are
attracted to others based on qualities that are not gender specific. Whether or not
you think the acronym is getting too long, the point remains: Gender identity is
far more diverse than gay or straight, male or female.
The “NOBODY KNOWS I’M GAY” shirts point to a communication dilemma
facing many individuals with diverse gender identities. On the one hand, being open
about gender identity has advantages—including a sense of being authentic with
others and belonging to a supportive coculture. On the other hand, the disclosure
can be risky. People may be shocked or judgmental. They may ridicule individuals
they consider to be nontraditional, discriminate against them, or even attack them.
Restroom access for transgender people
has become a prominent issue.
How have recent developments shaped
your views on gender roles and sexual
orientation?
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UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Gender Pronouns
We usually don’t think much about gender-related personal
pronouns. But without them, language becomes unwieldy.
Consider an example:
When Mrs. Anne Marie Schreiner came into the room, Mrs. Anne
Marie Schreiner thought to Mrs. Anne Marie Schreiner’s self, “Is
the situation just Mrs. Anne Marie Schreiner, or is the temperature
really hot in here?”61
This sentence demonstrates the value of pronouns. But as
gender identities become more fluid, pronoun choice has
become more complex. For example, what pronouns do
you use to address a biological female who presents as a
man? Most people who fit this description would suggest
that words such as him and his would be most appropri-
ate. Another option is to adopt singular use of the gender-
neutral pronoun they and its counterparts them, their, and
themselves to refer to someone who does not identify as
male or female.62
It may be hard to guess at pronoun preferences, however,
and you may make a mistake. If that happens, simply correct
your mistake and move on.63 Most people who have nontra-
ditional gender identities agree that sincerity and respect
are much more important than being a flawless speaker.
On average, one in five hate crimes in the United States targets people on the basis of
their sexual orientation.57
CNN host Anderson Cooper didn’t tell the public he was gay for years because
he considered it private information, he felt it might put him and others in danger,
and he thought he could do a better job as a journalist if he “blended in.”58 How-
ever, Cooper says his silence sometimes felt disingenuous. “I have given some the
mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something,” he said when he came
out. He also felt that he had been missing opportunities to dispel some of the fear
and prejudice that surround the issue. “The tide of history only advances when
people make themselves fully visible,” Cooper said in a 2012 public statement.
“The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, and I couldn’t be more happy, comfortable
with myself, and proud.”
For people whose coming out announcements make headlines, going public
happens all at once. However, that is not usually the case. “Coming out is a pro-
cess that never ends,” reflects Jennifer Potter, a physician who is lesbian. “Every
time I meet someone new I must decide if, how, and when I will reveal my sexual
orientation.”59 She says it’s often easy to “pass” as heterosexual, but then she expe-
riences the awkwardness of people assuming she has a boyfriend or husband, and
it saddens her when she cannot openly refer to her partner or invite her to take
part in social gatherings.
Lewis Hancox, a filmmaker and comedian who is transgender, reflects that
people who transition to a different gender identity encounter some of the same
ambiguities. Having been through a public transition himself, he recommends
that trans individuals love and accept themselves, connect with people who are
supportive, have patience with those who don’t immediately embrace the change,
and keep in mind all the qualities that make them unique and special as individu-
als. “It took me a long time to realize that being transgender didn’t make me any
less of a guy, or more importantly, any less of a person,” Hancox says. “We’re all
different in our own right and we should embrace those differences.”60
The social climate has become more receptive to LGBTQ individuals than in
the past, at least in most of the developed world. As one report put it,
Most LGBT people who are now adults can recall feeling that they were “the only
one” and fearing complete rejection by their families, friends, and associates
cultural idiom
coming out: declaring one’s non-
traditional sexual orientation clearly
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should their identity become known. Yet today, in this era of GSAs [gay–straight
alliances] . . . openly gay politicians and civil unions; debates about same-sex
marriage, gay adoption, and gays in the military; and a plethora of websites
aimed specifically at LGBT youth, it is hard to imagine many youths who would
believe they are alone in their feelings.64
Among those websites is ItGetsBetter.org, at which people can post messages
to encourage LGBTQ youth that any harassment they may be experiencing is
not their fault and that people care about making it better. Since Dan Savage
and Terry Miller launched the It Gets Better Project in 2010, people have posted
more than 50,000 videos, which have been viewed more than 50 million times.65
Savage says it shows what can happen when communication technology and
good intentions combine.66
Religion
In some cultures, religion is the defining factor in shaping in- and out-groups. As
fears of terrorism have grown, peace-loving Muslims living in the West have often
been singled out and vilified. Yasmin Hussein, who works at the Arab American
Institute, reflects on the prejudice and cruelty:
Many Muslims and individuals of other faiths who were thought to be Muslim
have been attacked physically and verbally. Young children have been bullied at
schools, others told to go back home and social media has become at times (a lot
of the time) an ugly place to be on.67
In an effort to dispel unrealistic stereotypes, tens of thousands of Muslims have
joined the #NotInMyName social media movement in which they denounce terror-
ist groups such as ISIS and condemn violence in the name of the religion.
Intergroup hostility abounds in many areas of the world. Whether you belong
to the Shia or Sunni sects is enormously important to many Muslims. Tribal divi-
sions have been just as powerful in the Christian world. Within recent memory,
Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland have fought to the death to defend
their beliefs.
In less extreme but still profound ways, religion shapes how and with whom
many people communicate. For example, members of the Orthodox Jewish com-
munity consider it important to marry within
the faith. In one study, some of the young
Jewish women interviewed said a man’s reli-
gious preference is as important or more
important than his personality.68 They also
described a cultural gap between dating solely
to find a suitable spouse and the “American
style” of dating, in which couples may spend
time together, and even have sex, although
they don’t plan to marry. Dating within the
Orthodox faith is communication centered
and focused, a bit like a job interview. As
one woman in the study put it: “When you’re
not touching the person . . . you’re more pro-
fessional, you take decisions much more
seriously.”
Other research suggests that, in general,
teens who believe that only one religion has
merit date less frequently than other teens,
ASK YOURSELF
What are some of the
cultural groups you
identify with, and how
have they shaped your
communication style
and expectations? In
what ways is it helpful
or necessary to adapt
your communication to
fit different cocultural
groups?
?
In the independent film Arranged, Rochel and Nasira—an Orthodox Jew and a Muslim,
respectively—meet as new teachers at a Brooklyn school. Colleagues and students
expect friction, but the women become close friends as they discover they have much in
common. Think about others whom you might reflexively regard as different.
What might you discover that you have in common if you learned more about them?
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perhaps because their pool of acceptable partners is smaller.69 However, reli-
gious teens who respect the viewpoints of multiple religions typically date more
frequently than their nonreligious peers.70 And the odds are good for interfaith
relationships. Studies show that, if interfaith couples communicate openly and
respectfully about matters of faith, they are just as likely as other couples to stay
together.71
Religious beliefs affect family life as well. Members of evangelical churches
are likely to view parents as family decision makers and honor children for fol-
lowing their advice without question.72 Religious activities such as reading scrip-
ture at home are most common among Jehovah’s Witnesses and members of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons), evangelical churches,
and historically black churches.73 These congregations are also the most likely to
believe there is only one true religion.
Physical Ability/Disability
Whereas identities related to ethnicity or nationality may require years of immer-
sion, disability is “a club anyone can join, anytime. It’s very easy. Have a stroke and
be paralyzed. . . . Be in a car wreck and never walk again.”74
Although able-bodied people might view disability as an unfortunate condi-
tion, many people with disabilities find that belonging to a community of similar
people can be rewarding. Deaf culture is a good example: The shared experiences
of deafness can create strong bonds. Most notably, distinct languages build a
shared worldview and solidarity. There are Deaf schools, Deaf competitions (e.g.,
Miss Deaf America), Deaf performing arts (including Deaf comedians), and other
organizations that bring Deaf people together.
Actor and model Nyle DiMarco won a
Dancing with the Stars championship,
bringing judges to tears with a dance
to “The Sound of Silence.” Viewers who
missed the backstory would never have
known he has been Deaf since birth.
In what ways do people stereotype
and underestimate you? How can you
respond?
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Communicating with People Who Have Disabilities
Research has revealed some clear guidelines for interacting
with people who have disabilities.76 They include:
1. Speak directly to people with disabilities, rather than looking
at and talking to their companions.
2. If you volunteer assistance, wait until your offer is accepted
before proceeding. Then listen to or ask for instructions.
3. Treat adults as such. For example, don’t address people who
have disabilities by their first names unless you’re doing so
with others.
4. When you’re introduced to a person with a disability, offer to
shake hands. (People with limited hand use or who wear an
artificial limb can usually shake hands.)
5. When meeting a person who is visually impaired, identify
yourself and others who may be with you.
6. When speaking with someone who uses a wheelchair, place
yourself at eye level in front of the person. Remember that a
wheelchair is part of the user’s personal body space, so don’t
touch or lean on it without permission.
7. When you’re talking with a person who has difficulty
speaking, be patient and wait for him or her to finish. Ask
short questions that require a nod, shake of the head, or
brief answers. Never pretend to understand if you are
having difficulty doing so.
8. With a person who is Deaf, speak clearly, slowly, and
expressively to determine whether the person can read your
lips. (Not all people who are Deaf can read lips.)
9. Don’t be embarrassed if you happen to use common
expressions such as “See you later” or “Did you hear about
that?” that seem to relate to a person’s disability.
10. Relax. Don’t be afraid to ask questions when you’re unsure
what to do.
Notice that these recommendations are mostly similar
to the ways we communicate with everyone else. People
with disabilities are people first and should be treated
as such.
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Despite stereotypes, “different than” doesn’t have to mean “less than.” One
former airline pilot who lost his hearing described his trip to China:
Though we used different signed languages, these Chinese Deaf people and I
could make ourselves understood; and though we came from different coun-
tries, our mutual Deaf culture held us together. . . . Who’s disabled then?75
It’s important to treat a disability as one feature of a person, not a defining char-
acteristic. Describing someone as “a person who is blind” is both more accurate
and less constricting than calling her a “blind person.” This difference might seem
subtle—until you imagine which label you would prefer if you lost your sight.
Age/Generation
Imagine how odd it would seem to hear an 8-year-old or a senior citizen talking,
dressing, or otherwise acting like a 20-something. We tend to think of getting older
as a purely biological process. But age-related communication reflects culture at
least as much as biology. In many ways, we learn how to “do” being various ages—
how to dress, how to talk, and what not to say and do—in the same way we learn
how to play other roles in our lives, such as student or employee.
Relationships between older and younger people are shaped by cultural assump-
tions that change over time. At some points in history, older adults have been
regarded as wise, accomplished, and even magical.77 At others, they have been treated
as unwanted surplus and uncomfortable reminders of mortality and decline.78
Today, Western cultures mostly honor youth, and attitudes about aging are more
negative than positive. On balance, people over age 40 are still twice as likely as
younger ones to be depicted in the media as unattractive, bored, and in declining
health.79 And people over age 60 are still underrepresented in the media. Despite
negative stereotypes, the data on personal satisfaction present a different story. Stud-
ies show that, overall, people in their 60s are just as happy as people in their 20s.80
Unfavorable attitudes about aging can show up in interpersonal relation-
ships. Even though gray or thinning hair and wrinkles don’t necessarily sig-
nify diminished capacity, they may be interpreted that way—with powerful
consequences. People who believe older adults have trouble communicating
are less likely to interact with them. When they do, they tend to use the man-
nerisms listed Table 3-5.81 Even when these speech styles are well intentioned,
Patronizing Speech Directed at Older Adults
ELEMENT DEFINITION AND EXAMPLE
Simplified grammar Use of short sentences without multiple clauses. “Here’s your food. You can eat it. It is
good.”
Simplified vocabulary Use of short words rather than longer equivalents. Saying dog instead of Dalmatian,
or big instead of enormous.
Endearing terms Calling someone “sweetie” or “love.”
Increased volume, reduced rate Talking LOUDER and s-l-o-w-e-r!
High and variable pitch Using a slightly squeaky voice style, and exaggerating the pitch variation in speech
(a “singsong”-type speech style).
Use of repetition Saying things over and over again. Repeating. Redundancy. Over and over again. The
same thing. Repeated. Again. And again . . .
Use of baby-ish terms Using words like doggie or choo-choo instead of dog or train: “Oh look at the cute little
doggie, isn’t he a coochie-coochie-coo!”
Source: J. Harwood. (2007). Understanding communication and aging: Developing knowledge and awareness. Newbury Park, CA: Sage, p. 76.
TABLE 3-5
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they can have harmful effects. Older adults who are treated as less
capable than their peers tend to perceive themselves as older and
less capable.82 And challenging ageist treatment presents seniors
with a dilemma: Speaking up can be taken as a sign of being
cranky or bitter, reinforcing the stereotype that older adults are
curmudgeons.83
Youth doesn’t always live up to its glamorous image. Teens and
young adults typically experience intense pressure, both inter-
nally and from people around them, to establish their identity and
prove themselves.84 At the same time, adolescents typically experi-
ence what psychologists call a personal fable (the sense that they
are different from everybody else) and an imaginary audience
(a heightened self-consciousness that makes it seem as if people are
always observing and judging them).85 These characterize a natural
stage of development, but they lead to some classic communication
challenges. For one, teens often feel that their parents and other
people can’t understand them because their situations are differ-
ent and unique. Couple this with the sense that others are being
overly attentive and critical and you have a good recipe for conflict
and frustration. Parents may be baffled that their “extensive experi-
ence” and “good advice” are summarily rejected. And young people
may wonder why people butt into their affairs with “overly critical
judgments” and “irrelevant advice.”
Communication challenges also can arise when members
of different generations work together. For example, millenni-
als (those born between 1980 and 2000) tend to have a much
stronger need for affirming feedback than previous generations.86
Because of their strong desire for achievement, they tend to want
clear guidance on how to do a job correctly—but do not want
to be micromanaged when they do it. After finishing the task,
they have an equally strong desire for praise. To a baby boomer
boss, that type of guidance and feedback may feel more like a
nuisance. In the boss’s experience, “no news is good news,” so the absence of
negative feedback should be praise enough. Neither perspective is wrong. But
when members of these cocultures have different expectations, miscommunica-
tion can occur.
Socioeconomic Status
Social class can have a major impact on how people communicate. People in
the United States typically identify themselves as belonging to the working class,
middle class, or upper class, and feel a sense of solidarity with people in the same
social strata.87 This is especially true for working-class people, who tend to feel that
they are united both by hardship and by their commitment to hard, physical work.
One working-class college student put it this way:
I know that when all is said and done, I’m a stronger and better person than they
[members of the upper class] are. That’s probably a horrible thing to say and it
makes me sound very egotistical, but . . . it makes me more glad that I’ve been
through what I’ve been through, because at the end of the day, I know I had to
bust my a** to be where I want, and that makes me feel really good.88
These communication styles can have consequences later in life. College pro-
fessors often find that working-class and first- generation college students who are
raised not to challenge authority can have a difficult time speaking up, thinking
cultural idiom
butt into: meddle in the affairs of
others
The Johnson family in the TV show black-ish appears to be
living the American dream. They are well off, good looking, and
they love one another. But a question nags at the Johnsons:
Are they losing touch with their heritage?
How attached are you to your cultural heritage, and how much
are you willing to dilute it?
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critically, and arguing persuasively.89 The effects of social class continue into
the workplace, where skills such as assertiveness and persuasiveness are career
enhancers. People who come from working-class families and attain middle- or
upper-class careers face special challenges. New speech and language, clothing,
and nonverbal patterns often are necessary to gain acceptance.90
Many of these individuals also must cope with ambivalent emotions related to
their career success.91 Organizational culture reflects a relatively stable, shared set
of rules about how to behave and a set of values about what is important. In everyday
language, culture is the insiders’ view of “the way things are around here.” See the
“@Work” box below for more about workplace cultures.
Even within the same family, educational level can create intercultural chal-
lenges. First-generation college (FCG) students feel the intercultural strain of
“trying to live simultaneously in two vastly different worlds” of school and home.
Communication researchers Mark Orbe and Christopher Groscurth discovered
organizational culture A relatively
stable, shared set of rules about how to
behave and a set of values about what
is important.
@WORK
Organizations Are Cultures, Too
A man stopped by a Nordstrom department store in Oregon
to buy an Armani tuxedo for his daughter’s wedding. The
next day he received a call saying the tux was ready and
waiting. He picked it up and left a happy customer.
The kicker is that Nordstrom doesn’t sell Armani tuxedos.
The salesperson had one overnighted from another sup-
plier and then altered to fit the customer perfectly.96 It didn’t
matter that Nordstrom didn’t make a penny off the sale.
Doing whatever it takes to please customers is part of the
company’s corporate culture.
As this story illustrates, organizations have cultures that can
be just as distinctive as those of larger societies.
Not all the rules and values of an organization are written
down. And some that are written down aren’t actually fol-
lowed. Perhaps the workday officially ends at 5 P.M., but you
quickly notice that most people stay until at least 6:30. That
says something about the culture. Or, even though it doesn’t
say so in the employee handbook, employees in some com-
panies consider one another as extended family, taking per-
sonal interest in their coworkers’ lives. That’s culture, too.
Because you’re likely to spend as much time at work as you
do in personal relationships, selecting the right organization
is as important as choosing a best friend. Research shows
that we are likely to enjoy our jobs and do them well if we
believe that the organization’s values reflect our own and
that its values are consistently and fairly applied.97 For exam-
ple, Nordstrom rewards team members for offering great
customer service without exception. On the other hand, a
boss who talks about customer service but violates those
principles cultivates a culture of cynicism and dissatisfaction.
Ask yourself these questions when considering whether a
specific organization’s culture is a good fit for you. (Notice
how important communication is in each case.)
• How do people in the organization present themselves in
person and on the telephone? Are they welcoming and
inviting?
• Are customers happy with the service and quality provided?
• Do members of the organization have the resources and
authority to do a good job?
• Do employees have fun? Are they encouraged to be
creative?
• Is there a spirit of cooperation or competition among
team members?
• What criteria are used to evaluate employee
performance?
• What happens during meetings? Is communication open
or highly scripted?
• How often do people leave their jobs to work somewhere
else?
• Do leaders make a point of listening, respecting, and col-
laborating with employees?
• Do people use their time productively or are they bogged
down with inefficient procedures or office politics?
Communication is the vehicle through which we both create
and embody culture. At a personal and organizational level,
effective, consistent, value-based communication is essential
to success.
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that many FGC students alter their communication patterns dramatically between
their two worlds.92
Because no one in their family has attended college, FGC students often cope
with an unfamiliar environment by trying to assimilate—going out of their way to
fit in on campus. Sometimes assimilating requires self-censorship, as FGC students
avoid discussions that might reveal their educational or socioeconomic backgrounds.
In addition, some FGC students say they overcompensate by studying harder and
getting more involved on campus than their non-FGC classmates, just to prove they
belong in the college culture.
At home, FGC students may also engage in self-censorship, but for different
reasons. They might be cautious when talking about college life for fear of threat-
ening and alienating their families. One exception is that some feel a need to
model their new educational status to younger family members so “they can see
that it can be done.”93
At the other end of the socioeconomic spectrum, gangs fit the definition of a
coculture.94 Members have a well-defined identity, both among themselves and
according to the outside world. This sense of belonging is often reflected in dis-
tinctive language and nonverbal markers such as clothing, tattoos, and hand sig-
nals. Gangs provide people who are marginalized by society a sense of identity
and security in an often dangerous and hostile world. But the benefits come at
considerable cost. When compared to similar youths, gang members have higher
rates of delinquency and drug use. They commit more violent offenses and have
higher arrest rates.95
Developing Intercultural
Communication Competence
What distinguishes competent and incompetent intercultural communicators?
Before we answer this question, take a moment to complete the self-assessment on
page 90 to evaluate your intercultural communication sensitivity.
To a great degree, interacting successfully with strangers calls for the same
ingredients of general communicative competence outlined in Chapter 1. It’s
important to have a wide range of behaviors and to be skillful at choosing and
performing the most appropriate ones in a given situation. A genuine concern for
others plays an important role. Cognitive complexity and the ability to empathize
also help. Finally, self-monitoring is important because it is often necessary to
make midcourse corrections in your approach when dealing with strangers.
But beyond these basic qualities, communication researchers have worked
hard to identify qualities that are unique, or at least especially important, ingredi-
ents of intercultural communicative competence.98
Increased Contact
More than a half century of research confirms that, under the right circumstances,
spending time with people from different backgrounds leads to a host of positive
outcomes: reduced prejudice, greater productivity, and better relationships.99 The
link between exposure and positive attitudes, called the contact hypothesis, has been
demonstrated in a wide range of contexts.100
The benefits of communicating with others from different backgrounds are con-
siderable. People who do so report a greater number of diverse friends than those who
are less willing to reach out.101 They also benefit from more positive relationships,
lower stress levels, a more cooperative communication climate, and the chance to
disconfirm stereotypes.
Under the right circumstances, increased
diversity leads to positive outcomes.
How diverse is your network of
relationships? Can you imagine ways to
enhance its diversity?
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It’s encouraging to know that increased
contact with people from stigmatized groups
can transform hostile attitudes. For example,
door-to-door canvassers in Los Angeles were
able to dramatically change attitudes of area
residents by engaging in 10-minute conversa-
tions aimed at breaking down stereotypes.102
By engaging the residents to think more deeply
about the rights of transgender people, these
conversations resulted in increased empathy.
Along with face-to-face contacts, cyber-
space offers a useful way to enhance contact
with people from different backgrounds.103
Online venues make it relatively easy to con-
nect with people you might never meet in
person. The asynchronous nature of these
contacts reduces the potential for stress and
confusion that can easily come in person. It also makes status differences less
important: When you’re online, gaps in material wealth or physical appearance
are much less apparent.
Tolerance for Ambiguity
When we encounter communicators from different cultures, the level of uncertainty
is especially high. Consider the basic challenge of communicating in an unfamiliar
language. Pico Iyer captures the ambiguity that arises from a lack of fluency when he
describes his growing friendship with Sachiko, a Japanese woman he met in Kyoto:
I was also beginning to realize how treacherous it was to venture into a foreign
language if one could not measure the shadows of the words one used. When
I had told her, in Asuka, “Jennifer Beals ga suki-desu. Anata mo” (“I like Jennifer
Beals—and I like you”), I had been pleased to find a way of conveying affection,
and yet, I thought, a perfect distance. But later I looked up suki and found that I
had delivered an almost naked protestation of love. . . .
Meanwhile, of course, nearly all her shadings were lost to me. . . . Once, when
I had to leave her house ten minutes early, she said, “I very sad,” and another
time, when I simply called her up, she said, “I very happy”—and I began to think
her unusually sensitive, or else prone to bold and violent extremes, when really
she was reflecting nothing but the paucity of her English vocabulary. . . . Talking
in a language not one’s own was like walking on one leg; when two people did
it together, it was like a three-legged waltz.104
Competent intercultural communicators accept—even welcome—this kind of
ambiguity. Iyer describes the way the mutual confusion he shared with Sachiko
actually helped their relationship develop:
Yet in the end, the fact that we were both speaking in this pared-down diction
made us both, I felt, somewhat gentler, more courteous, and more vulnerable
than we would have been otherwise, returning us to a state of innocence.105
Without a tolerance for ambiguity, the mass of often confusing and some-
times downright incomprehensible messages that impact intercultural interac-
tions would be impossible to manage. Some people seem to come equipped with
this sort of tolerance, whereas others have to cultivate it. One way or the other,
that ability to live with uncertainty is an essential ingredient of intercultural com-
munication competence.
ASK YOURSELF
What examples
of intercultural or
cocultural incom-
petence you have
witnessed, either in
person or on social
media? How could
the communicator(s)
involved have handled
the situation more
competently?
?
Source: © 2011 Malcolm Evans
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Open-Mindedness
Being comfortable with ambiguity is important, but without an open-minded atti-
tude a communicator will have trouble interacting competently with people from
different backgrounds. To understand open-mindedness, it’s helpful to consider
three traits that are incompatible with it. Ethnocentrism is an attitude that one’s
own culture is superior to others. An ethnocentric person thinks—either privately
or openly—that anyone who does not belong to his or her in-group is somehow
strange, wrong, or even inferior. Travel writer Rick Steves describes how an ethno-
centric point of view can interfere with respect for other cultural practices:
We [Americans] consider ourselves very clean and commonly criticize other cul-
tures as dirty. In the bathtub we soak, clean, and rinse, all in the same water.
(We would never wash our dishes that way.) A Japanese visitor, who uses clean
water for each step, might find our way of bathing strange or even disgusting.
Many cultures spit in public and blow their nose right onto the street. They
couldn’t imagine doing that into a small cloth, called a hanky, and storing that
in their pocket to be used again and again.
Too often we think of the world in terms of a pyramid of “civilized” (us) on the
top and “primitive” groups on the bottom. If we measured things differently
(maybe according to stress, loneliness, heart attacks, hours spent in traffic jams,
or family togetherness) things stack up differently.106
Ethnocentrism leads to an attitude of prejudice—an unfairly biased and intol-
erant attitude toward others who belong to an out-group. (Note that the root term
in prejudice is “pre-judge.”) An important element of prejudice is stereotyping (see
p. 44)—exaggerated generalizations about a group. Familiarity can change attitudes,
however, as American attitudes toward same-sex marriage have shown. As the practice
has become legally sanctioned, there has been a dramatic increase in acceptance of gay
and lesbian couples tying the knot. By 2016, a majority of Americans (55%) supported
same-sex marriage, compared with slightly more than a third who opposed it.107
Another barrier to diversity occurs in the form of hegemony, the dominance of
one culture over another. A common example of this is the impact of Hollywood
around the world. People who are consistently exposed to American images and cul-
tural ideas can begin to regard them as desirable. For example, in South Korea, more
than 100 women a day undergo surgery on their eyelids, cheekbones, or noses in an
effort to look more “Western.”108 The women typically say they will feel “prettier” and
enjoy greater success in life if they look like American women they see in the media.
On a more encouraging note, whereas the mass media tend to perpetuate ste-
reotypes, online communication can sometimes help people understand each
other better. For example, when students studying German at an American uni-
versity connected online with students at a German university, most of them were
successful in establishing ask-and-share conversations. This result was especially
pronounced when they used instant messaging rather than asynchronous posts,
which were typically less conversational and interactive.109
Knowledge and Skill
Attitude alone isn’t enough to guarantee success in intercultural encounters. Com-
municators need enough knowledge of other cultures to have a clear sense of which
approaches are appropriate. The rules and customs that work with one group might
be quite different from those that succeed with another. The ability to shift gears
and adapt one’s style to the norms of another culture or coculture is an essential
ingredient of communication competence.110
One school of thought holds that uncertainty can motivate relationship
development—to a point. For example, you may be interested in a newcomer to
cultural idioms
tying the knot: getting married
shift gears: change what one is doing
ethnocentrism The attitude that one’s
own culture is superior to others’.
prejudice An unfairly biased and
intolerant attitude toward others who
belong to an out-group.
hegemony The dominance of one
culture over another.
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S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
What Is Your Intercultural Sensitivity?
Below is a series of statements concerning intercultural communication. There are no right or wrong answers. Imagine
yourself interacting with people from a wide variety of cultural groups, not just one or two. Record your first impression
at each statement by indicating the degree to which you agree or disagree, using the following scale.
5 = strongly agree 4 = agree 3 = uncertain 2 = disagree 1 = strongly disagree
1. _____ I enjoy interacting with people from different cultures.
2. _____ I think people from other cultures are narrow minded.
3. _____ I am pretty sure of myself in interacting with people from different cultures.
4. _____ I find it very hard to talk in front of people from different cultures.
5. _____ I always know what to say when interacting with people from different cultures.
6. _____ I can be as sociable as I want to be when interacting with people from different cultures.
7. _____ I don’t like to be with people from different cultures.
8. _____ I respect the values of people from different cultures.
9. _____ I get upset easily when interacting with people from different cultures.
10. _____ I feel confident when interacting with people from different cultures.
11. _____ I tend to wait before forming an impression of culturally distinct counterparts.
12. _____ I often get discouraged when I am with people from different cultures.
13. _____ I am open minded to people from different cultures.
14. _____ I am very observant when interacting with people from different cultures.
15. _____ I often feel useless when interacting with people from different cultures.
16. _____ I respect the ways people from different cultures behave.
17. _____ I try to obtain as much information as I can when interacting with people from different cultures.
18. _____ I would not accept the opinions of people from different cultures.
19. _____ I am sensitive to my culturally distinct counterpart’s subtle meanings during our interaction.
20. _____ I think my culture is better than other cultures.
21. _____ I often give positive responses to my culturally different counterpart during our interaction.
22. _____ I avoid those situations in which I will have to deal with culturally distinct persons.
23. _____ I often show my culturally distinct counterpart my understanding through verbal or nonverbal cues.
24. _____ I have a feeling of enjoyment toward differences between my culturally distinct counterpart and me.
To determine your score, begin by reverse-coding (i.e., if you indicated 5, reverse-code to 1; if you indicated 4, reverse-
code to 2; and so on) items 2, 4, 7, 9, 12, 15, 18, 20, and 22. Higher scores on the total instrument and each of the five
subscales indicate a greater probability of intercultural communication competence.
Sum items 1, 11, 13, 21, 22, 23, and 24 ☐ Interaction Engagement (range is 7–35)
Sum items 2, 7, 8, 16, 18, and 20 ☐ Respect for Cultural Differences (6–30)
Sum items 3, 4, 5, 6, and 10 ☐ Interaction Confidence (5–25)
Sum items 9, 12, and 15 ☐ Interaction Enjoyment (3–15)
Sum items 14, 17, and 19 ☐ Interaction Attentiveness (3–15)
Sum of all the items ☐ (24–120, with a midpoint of 48)
Permission to use courtesy of Guo-Ming Chen. Chen, G. M., & Sarosta, W. J. (2000). The development and validation of the Intercultural Sensitivity Scale. Human
Communication, 3, 1–14.
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your class because he is from another country. However, if attempting a conver-
sation with him heightens your sense of uncertainty and discomfort, you may
abandon the idea of making friends. The basic premise of anxiety uncertainty
management theory is that, if uncertainty and anxiety are too low or too high, we
are likely to avoid communicating.111
How can a communicator learn enough about other cultures to feel curious but not
overwhelmed? Scholarship suggests three strategies.112 Passive observation involves
noticing what behaviors members of a different culture use and applying these insights
to communicate in ways that are most effective. Active strategies include reading, watch-
ing films, and asking experts and members of the other culture how to behave, as well
as taking academic courses related to intercultural communication and diversity.113 The
third strategy, self-disclosure, involves volunteering personal information to people from
the other culture with whom you want to communicate. One type of self- disclosure is
to confess your cultural ignorance: “This is very new to me. What’s the right thing to do
in this situation?” This approach is the riskiest of the three described here, because
some cultures may not value candor and self-disclosure as much as others. Neverthe-
less, most people are pleased when strangers attempt to learn the practices of their
culture, and they are usually quite willing to offer information and assistance.
Patience and Perseverance
Becoming comfortable and competent in a new culture or coculture may be ultimately
rewarding, but the process isn’t easy. After a “honeymoon” phase, it’s typical to feel
confused, disenchanted, lonesome, and homesick.114 To top it off, you may feel disap-
pointed in yourself for not adapting as easily as you expected. This stage—which typi-
cally feels like a crisis—has acquired the labels culture shock or adjustment shock.115
You wouldn’t be the first person to be blindsided by culture shock. Barbara
Bruhwiler, who was born in Switzerland and has lived in South Africa for 5 years,
says she loves her new home but still experiences moments of confusion and dis-
tress.116 Likewise, when Lynn Chih-Ning Chang came to the United States from
Taiwan for graduate school, she cried every day on the way home from class.117 All
her life, she had been taught that it was respectful and ladylike to sit quietly and
listen, so she was shocked that American students spoke aloud without raising
their hands, interrupted one another, addressed the teacher by first name, and ate
food in the classroom. What’s more, Chang’s classmates answered so quickly that,
by the time she was ready to say something, they were already on a new topic. The
same behavior that made her “a smart and patient lady in Taiwan,” she says, made
her seem like a “slow learner” in the United States.
Communication theorist Young Yum Kim has studied cultural adaptation
extensively. She says it’s natural to feel a sense of push and pull between the famil-
iar and the novel.118 Kim encourages sojourners to regard stress as a good sign. It
means they have the potential to adapt and grow. With patience, the sense of crisis
begins to wane, and once again, there’s energy and enthusiasm to learn more.
Communication can be a challenge while you’re learning how to operate in
new cultures, but it can also be a solution.119 Chang, the Taiwanese student adapt-
ing to life in America, learned this firsthand. At first, she says, she was reluctant to
approach American students, and they were reluctant to approach her. Gradually,
she got up the courage to initiate conversations, and she found that her classmates
were friendly and receptive. Eventually, she made friends, began to fit in, and suc-
cessfully completed her degree.
The transition from culture shock to adaptation and growth is usually suc-
cessful, but it isn’t a smooth, linear process. Instead, people tend to take two steps
forward and one step back, and to repeat that pattern many times. Kim120 calls
this a “draw back and leap” pattern. Above all, she says, if people are patient and
they keep trying, the rewards are worth it.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Civility When Values Clash
Most people acknowledge the importance
of treating others from different cultural
backgrounds with respect. But what
communication obligations do you have
when another person’s cultural values
are different from yours on fundamental
matters, such as abortion or gender equity?
How should you behave when confronted
with views you find shocking or abhorrent?
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For his part, our profiled student, Robin Luo, says he is learning a lot more
than engineering during his time as an exchange student in the United States.
“Americans are friendly, passionate, and inspiring,” he says. “They teach me to
hold an optimistic attitude against whatever I encounter in life.”
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Analyze the influence of cultures and
cocultures on intergroup communication, explaining the
concepts of salience and generalizations.
• Communicating with people from different backgrounds
is more common today than ever before. Some encoun-
ters involve people from different cultures, whereas
others involve communicating with people from differ-
ent cocultures within a given society.
• Cultural differences are not a salient factor in every inter-
group encounter.
• Although cultural characteristics are real and important,
they are generalizations that do not apply equally to
every member of a group.
> Provide two examples of intercultural communica-
tion from your own experience—one in which your
affiliation with a particular group or culture was
salient, and one in which it was not.
> Think of a cultural group with which you iden-
tify. Now describe a conversation that would be
interpreted one way by members of that group and
another way by out-group members.
> List three common generalizations about college stu-
dents. How well does each of those generalizations
describe you? What can you learn about generaliza-
tions from this exercise?
OBJECTIVE Distinguish among the following cul-
tural norms and values, and explain how they influence
communication: individualism and collectivism, high and
low context, uncertainty avoidance, power distance, talk
and silence, competition and cooperation.
• Some cultures value autonomy and individual expres-
sion, whereas others are more collectivistic.
• Some pay close attention to subtle, contextual cues (high
context), whereas others pay more attention to the words
people use (low context).
• Cultures vary in their acceptance of uncertainty.
3.1
3.2
• Authority figures are treated with more formality and
often greater respect in cultures with high power dis-
tance than in those with low power distance.
• Depending on the cultural context, people may interpret
silence as comforting and meaningful, or conversely, as
an indication of awkwardness or disconnection.
• Some cultures value competition, independence, and
assertiveness, whereas others emphasize equality, rela-
tionships, cooperation, and consensus building.
> Compare and contrast the communication tech-
niques that job applicants from high- and low-power-
distance cultures might use.
> Analyze the assertion that “young people today have
no respect for authority” by applying the notion of
power distance to specific examples.
> Do you identify more with individualism or collec-
tivism? In what ways?
OBJECTIVE Evaluate the influence of factors such
as race and ethnicity, sexual identity, religion, age, and
socioeconomic status on communication.
• People often make assumptions about others based on
their apparent race, but appearance is an unreliable indi-
cator of cultural and personal differences.
• People have multiple cultural identities that intersect.
• Gender diversity goes far beyond the simplistic dichoto-
mies of male-or-female and gay-or-straight.
• People from different regions of the same country may
uphold quite different beliefs about what is valued and
“normal” in terms of communication.
• People may also identify with others of similar religion,
age, physical ability, and socioeconomic status in ways
that define them as members of a culture.
> Explain the difference between race and ethnicity
and defend why one is a more reliable indicator of
cultural identity than the other.
> List three identities that apply to you. How does living
at the intersection of those identities make your life
experience different from that of a person who shares
one or two of those identities, but not all three?
> Transcribe a recent conversation as closely as you
can, and then replace all the gender pronouns (e.g.,
he, she, him, hers) with the hypothetical pronouns
3.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
93
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xe (which can mean either he or she) and xyrs (which
can mean either his or hers).121 Was the meaning still
clear, or did it become confusing? How might our
attitudes toward people be different if their gender
were not evident in the way we talk about them?
OBJECTIVE Use the criteria in this chapter to as-
sess your intercultural and cocultural communication
competence, and describe how you could communicate
more competently.
• Cultural competence is typically enhanced by contact
with people who have different beliefs.
• It’s useful to become comfortable with uncertainty and
open to the idea of different, but equally valid, worldviews.
• It often takes patience and skill to connect with people
who have diverse perspectives, but the benefits are worth
the effort.
> List and explain three communication strategies
people might use to learn about different cultures
and to share their own ideas with others.
> Think of a time when you met someone who seemed
very different from you at first but eventually became
a close friend or colleague. Create a timeline that illus-
trates turning points in your relationship when you
learned more about each other and developed rapport.
> How do you rate yourself in terms of intercultural
sensitivity and open-mindedness? What steps might
you take to keeping growing in this regard?
KEY TERMS
coculture p. 69
collectivistic culture p. 72
3.4
culture p. 69
ethnicity p. 78
ethnocentrism p. 89
hegemony p. 89
high-context culture p. 74
in-groups p. 71
individualistic culture p. 72
intergroup communication p. 69
intersectionality p. 79
low-context culture p. 74
organizational culture p. 86
out-groups p. 71
power distance p. 76
prejudice p. 89
race p. 78
salience p. 71
uncertainty avoidance p. 75
ACTIVITY
1. Recognizing Listening Misconceptions You can see
how listening misconceptions affect your life by identify-
ing important situations when you have fallen for both
of the following assumptions. In each case, describe the
consequences of believing these erroneous assumptions.
a. Thinking that because you were hearing a message,
you were listening to it.
b. Believing that listening effectively is natural and
effortless.
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9780190297084_ch04_094-121.indd 95 10/06/16 12:40 PM
Language
95
CHAPTER OUTLINE
The Nature of Language 96
Language Is Symbolic
Meanings Are in People, Not Words
Language Is Rule Governed
The Power of Language 100
Language Shapes Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
Language Reflects Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
Troublesome Language 107
The Language of Misunderstandings
Disruptive Language
Evasive Language
Gender and Language 116
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
4.1
Describe the symbolic, person-
centered, rule-governed nature
of language.
4.2
Explain how language both
shapes and reflects attitudes.
4.3
Distinguish the main types
of troublesome language and
their effects, described on
pages 107–115.
4.4
Explain how gender and
nongender variables, described
on pages 116–119, affect
communication.
4
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Consider situations in
which language has
either hindered you or
helped you establish a
satisfying connection.
?
Think of a statement that
people may interpret
differently, depending on
the situation and people
involved. What kinds of
misunderstandings arise over
differences such as these?
?
How does the way others
use language shape your
opinion of them? How do
you think your language
mannerisms shape the way
others see you?
?
If you are proficient in
more than one language,
have you noticed that one lan-
guage is more expressive than
another in certain situations?
WHEN FRIENDS SCOTT H. YOUNG and Vat Jaiswal (pictured
here) left their native Canada for a year-long adventure in faraway
places, they said adios to English. The two vowed to speak only the
native languages of the places they would visit—namely Spain (Span-
ish), Brazil (Portuguese), China (Mandarin), and South Korea (Korean).
So began what the two friends call The Year Without English.
Their goal wasn’t simply to learn new languages, but to experience
the cultures they encountered as deeply and authentically as pos-
sible.1 In this chapter, we explore the idea that language is more than
vocabulary words. It is a means of connecting with people and dis-
playing how we feel about and relate to each one another.
Although Young and Jaiswal felt tongue-tied when they first
encountered new languages, they found that they could converse
reasonably well with the locals after about a month. This allowed
them to establish friendships they could not have experienced
otherwise.
Learning different ways of speaking is just as important closer to
home. “Maybe you hang out with more preppy people and there
are some hipsters you see,” Young reflects. Do you make an effort to
understand them and honor the way they express themselves? If so,
Young says, “that is an incredibly powerful skill, perhaps more power-
ful than learning other languages in other cultures because it works
where you live.”2
By the time you finish this chapter, you should better appreci-
ate the complexity of language, its power to shape our perceptions of people
and events, and its potential for incomplete and inaccurate communication.
Perhaps more importantly, you will be better equipped to use the tool of lan-
guage more skillfully to improve your everyday interactions.
The Nature of Language
If a British person has a chinwag (chat) with a person from the United States or
Canada, he or she might feel knackered (exhausted) by how hard it is to share
meaning, even within the same language. Sometimes you probably feel the
same way when you’re speaking with people much closer to home.
To begin understanding what’s going on, let’s first define some basic
terms. A language is a collection of symbols governed by rules and used
to convey messages between individuals. A dialect is a version of the same
language that includes substantially different words and meanings.3 English
The Nature of Language
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97
includes dozens of dialects, as do the other 7,000 or so other
languages of the world. A closer look at the nature of language
reveals why people often hear something different from what
the speaker meant to say. In the end, language is powerful and
indispensable, but it is also imprecise and constantly evolving.
Language Is Symbolic
There’s nothing natural about calling your loyal, four-footed
companion a dog or the object you’re reading right now a book.
These words, like virtually all language, are symbols—arbitrary
constructions that represent a communicator’s thoughts.
Not all linguistic symbols are spoken or written words.
Sign language, as “spoken” by most Deaf people, is symbolic
in nature and not the pantomime it might seem to nonsigners.
There are hundreds of different sign languages spoken around
the world. These distinct languages include American Sign Lan-
guage, British Sign Language, French Sign Language, Danish
Sign Language, Chinese Sign Language—even Australian
Aboriginal and Mayan sign languages. Each has its own way of
representing ideas.4
Symbols are more than just labels: They are the way we
experience the world. You can prove this by trying a simple
experiment.5 Work up some saliva in your mouth, and then
spit it into a glass. Take a good look, and then drink it up. Most people find this
process mildly disgusting. But ask yourself why this is so. After all, we swallow our
own saliva all the time. The answer arises out of the symbolic labels we use. After
the saliva is in the glass, we call it spit and think of it in a different way. In other
words, our reaction is to the name, not the thing.
The naming process operates in virtually every situation. How you react to
a stranger will depend on the symbols you use to categorize him or her: gay (or
straight), religious (or not), attractive (or unattractive), and so on.
Meanings Are in People, Not Words
Ask a dozen people what the same symbol means, and you are likely to get 12 differ-
ent answers. Does an American flag bring up associations of patriots giving their lives
for their country? Fourth of July parades? Cultural imperialism? How about a cross:
What does it represent? The message of Jesus Christ? Fire-lit gatherings of Ku Klux
Klansmen? Your childhood Sunday school? The necklace your sister always wears?
As with physical symbols, the place to look for meaning in language isn’t in
the words themselves but rather in the way people make sense of them. Linguis-
tic theorists C. K. Ogden and I. A. Richards illustrated that meanings are social
constructions in their well-known “triangle of meaning” (Figure 4-1).6 This model
shows that there’s only an indirect relationship—indicated by a broken line—
between a word and what it claims to represent. Some references are fairly clear,
at least to members of the same speech community. In other cases, though, inter-
pretations can be quite different. Consider abstract concepts such as feminism,
environmentalism, and conservatism. Part of the person-centered nature of language
involves the difference between denotative and connotative meanings. Denota-
tive meanings are formally recognized definitions of a term. Most of the time
there’s little confusion about the denotative meaning of a word, such as chair. But
consider terms such as survivor and victim. In reference to violent assaults, these
terms are synonymous—they have the same denotative meaning—but each has
different connotations. Unlike denotation, the connotative meaning involves
language A collection of symbols,
governed by rules and used to convey
messages between individuals.
dialect A version of the same language
that includes substantially different
words and meanings.
denotative meanings Formally
recognized definitions for words, as in
those found in a dictionary.
connotative meanings Informal,
implied interpretations for words and
phrases that reflect the people, culture,
emotions, and situations involved.
Characters in the TV series Game of Thrones may appear to be
speaking nonsense when they communicate in Dothraki, but it’s a
complete language that has its own vocabulary and set of rules.
Can you name some rules that govern speech in your native
language (for example, subject before verb)? What would it sound
like to violate some of those rules?
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the associations, thoughts, and feelings that a statement gener-
ates. Ultimately, the meanings people associate with words have far
more significance than do their dictionary definitions.
Matters can get even more confusing when you’re not fluent in
a language. During their Year Without English, Scott Young and
Vat Jaiswal learned that calling someone a dog or a “son of a dog”
in South Korea is a profane insult. Back home in North America,
of course, close friends might call each other dog or dawg. All in
all, understanding how language is used involves much more than
vocabulary and grammar. Meaning isn’t in words, it’s in people—
and it can vary substantially depending on the people and situa-
tions involved.
Despite the potential for linguistic problems, the situation isn’t
hopeless. We do, after all, communicate with one another reason-
ably well most of the time. And with enough effort, we can clear
up most of the misunderstandings that occur. The key to more accurate use of
language is to avoid assuming that others interpret words the same way we do.
In truth, successful communication occurs when we negotiate the meaning of a
statement. As one French proverb puts it: The spoken word belongs half to the one who
speaks it and half to the one who hears.
Language Is Rule Governed
Languages contain several types of rules. Phonological rules govern how words
sound when pronounced. For instance, the words champagne, double, and occasion
are spelled identically in French and English, but all are pronounced differently.
Nonnative speakers learning English are plagued by inconsistent phonological
rules, as a few examples illustrate:
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The present is a good time to present the present.
I did not object to the object.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
Phonological rules aren’t the only ones that govern the way we use language
to communicate. Syntactic rules govern the structure of language—the way sym-
bols can be arranged. For example, correct English syntax requires that every word
contain at least one vowel and prohibits sentences such as “Have you the cookies
brought?,” which is a perfectly acceptable word order in German. Although most
of us aren’t able to describe the syntactic rules that govern our language, it’s easy to
recognize their existence by noting how odd a statement that violates them appears.
Technology has spawned versions of English with their own syntactic rules.7
For example, people have devised a streamlined version of English for instant
messages, texts, and tweets that speeds up typing in real-time communication
(although it probably makes teachers of composition grind their teeth in anguish):
A: Hey r u @ home?
B: ys
A: y
B: cuz i need to study for finals c u later tho bye
A: TTYL
phonological rules Linguistic rules
governing how sounds are combined to
form words.
syntactic rules Rules that govern the
ways in which symbols can be arranged
as opposed to the meanings of those
symbols.
Ogden and Richard’s Triangle of Meaning
Word
(Symbol)
LOVE
Thing
(Referent)
User
FIGURE 4-1 Ogden and Richards’s
Triangle of Meaning
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Semantic rules deal with the meaning of specific words. They make it pos-
sible for us to agree that bikes are for riding and books are for reading. Without
semantic rules, communication would be impossible, because each of us would
use symbols in unique ways, unintelligible to one another.
Semantic misunderstandings occur when words can be interpreted in more
than one way, as the following humorous church notices demonstrate:
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen
in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Sunday’s sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our
choir practice.
Pragmatic rules govern how people use language in everyday interactions,
which communication theorists have characterized as a series of speech acts.8 You
won’t typically find these rules written down, but people familiar with the lan-
guage and culture rely on them to make sense of what is going on. For example:
Are two people kidding around or being serious? Are they complimenting each other or
trading insults? The challenge is that even the people involved may not answer
these questions the same way. Consider the example of a male boss saying, “You
look very pretty today” to a female employee. He may interpret the statement very
differently than she does based on a number of factors.
EACH PERSON’S SELF-CONCEPT
Boss: Views himself as a nice guy.
Employee: Determined to succeed on merits, not appearance.
THE EPISODE IN WHICH THE COMMENT OCCURS
Boss: Casual remark at the start of the workday.
Employee: A possible come-on?
PERCEIVED RELATIONSHIP
Boss: Views employees like members of the family.
Employee: Depends on boss’s goodwill for advancement.
CULTURAL BACKGROUND
Boss: Member of generation in which comments about appearance were
common.
Employee: Member of generation sensitive to sexual harassment.
As this example shows, pragmatic rules don’t involve semantic issues, because
the words themselves are clear. For example, it’s common for Americans to ask new
acquaintances, “What do you do for a living?” That question might cause offense
in France, however, where it may be considered an indirect way of asking, “How
much money do you make?” Conversely, Americans typically consider it rude to
ask an older person his or her age, but it’s more socially acceptable in Japan, where
the oldest person in a conversation is typically given the most respect.
Pragmatic rules also govern language that some people find offensive but
that others regard positively. For example, consider the word “queer.” In earlier
The n-word: When used as a racial
epithet, no term can be more
inflammatory. But for many black people
it has become a term of affection,
and even empowerment in certain
circumstances. Unless people share the
same pragmatic rules, it’s best to steer
clear.
Is there ever an appropriate time and
place to use the n-word?
semantic rules Rules that govern the
meaning of language as opposed to its
structure.
pragmatic rules Rules that govern
how people use language in everyday
interaction.
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generations, this term was a slur directed against homosexual men. More recently,
however, some gay people have adopted it as a proud expression of their sexual
orientation. This is an example of reappropriation, a term researchers use to
describe how members of marginalized groups sometimes reframe the meaning
of a term that has historically been used in a derogatory way.9 As the photo on the
previous page illustrates, the “n-word” is another example of a term that has been
reappropriated by some—though by no means all—black people.
The use of profanity is another example of how pragmatic rules govern com-
munication. How do you react when someone unexpectedly swears during normal
conversation? Are you offended? Surprised? Intrigued? Like all verbal messages,
swear words speak volumes beyond their literal meaning.
A semantic analysis doesn’t reveal much about the meaning of most swear
words. A closer look at when and how people use them reveals that pragmatic
rules govern the use and interpretation of profanity. People who swear are more
likely to do so in the company of those they know and trust, because doing so
often indicates a level of comfort and acceptance. Swearing can also be a way to
enhance solidarity between people. For example, research suggests that in some
cases the swearing patterns of bosses and coworkers can help people feel con-
nected on the job.10
Of course, swear words may be bad form no matter where they are spoken,
and no one appreciates profanity when children can hear it. But looking at the
pragmatic rules governing profanity helps explain why some people are offended
by language that others consider benign.
The Power of Language
On the most obvious level, language allows us to satisfy basic functions such as
describing ideas, making requests, and solving problems. But beyond these func-
tions, the way we use language also influences others and reflects our views in subtle
ways, which we will examine now.
Language Shapes Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
The power of language to shape ideas has been recognized throughout history. In
the Bible, for example, Adam demonstrates his dominion over animals by naming
them.11 As we will now see, our speech—sometimes consciously and sometimes
not—shapes others’ values, attitudes, and beliefs in a variety of ways.
Naming “What’s in a name?” Juliet asked rhetorically. A lot, it turns out. Research
has demonstrated that names are more than just a simple means of identification:
They shape the way others think of us, the way we view ourselves, and the way
we act.
At the most fundamental level, some research suggests that even the phonetic
sound of a person’s name affects the way we regard him or her, at least when we
don’t have other information available. One study revealed that it’s often possible
to predict who will win an election based on the candidates’ surnames.12 Voters
tend to favor names that are simple, familiar, and easily pronounced. For exam-
ple, in one series of local elections, candidates Sanders, Reilly, Grady, and Combs
attracted more votes than Pekelis, Dellwo, Schumacher, and Bernsdorf. Names
don’t guarantee victory, but in 78 elections, 48 outcomes supported the value of
having a more common name.
Names also play a role in shaping and reinforcing identity. They can create
connections across generations, and they can make a statement about cultural
identity. Some names may suggest a “black” identity, whereas others sound more
reappropriation The process by
which members of a marginalized group
reframe the meaning of a term that has
historically been used in a derogatory
way.
ASK YOURSELF
What pragmatic rules
govern the use of
swear words in the
language communities
you belong to?
?
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“white.”13 The same could be said for Latino, feminine/masculine, Jewish, and
other names.
Although names associated with particular groups may support a sense of
shared identity, they are sometimes the basis for discrimination. In the United
States, job applicants with names such as Mohammed and Lakisha typically
receive fewer callbacks from employers than equally qualified candidates whose
names sound more European.14,15 Because of this potential for discrimination,
some people advocate for name-blind job applications.16 (See the “@Work” box
for more about names in the workplace.)
Credibility Speech style—and the credibility associated with it—also influences
perception. Scholarly speaking is a good example: Even an impostor who sounds
smart and speaks well may impress an audience.
Consider the case of Myron L. Fox, who delivered a talk on “Mathematical
Game Theory as Applied to Physical Education.” Questionnaires collected after
@WORK
What’s in a Name?
When it comes to career success, names matter more than
you might imagine.
Research suggests that many people pass judgment on
prospective workers simply on the basis of their first names.
In one study, prospective employers rated applicants with
common first names more highly than those with unique or
unusual ones.17 This bias presents challenges for people with
unique names and for those from cultures with different
naming practices.
Sometimes naming biases reflect stereotypes about
gender. People predict career success based on how closely
a person’s name matches the gender associated with his or
her job.18 When college students were asked how people
with various names were likely to do in their careers, they
predicted that women with feminine names like Emma
or Marta were more likely to be successful in tradition-
ally female occupations such as nursing. By contrast, they
estimated that men with masculine names like Hank or
Bruno would do better in traditionally male jobs such as
plumbing.
Findings like this are worth noting if you hope to succeed
in a field in which your identity doesn’t match traditional
expectations. For example, in the field of law, research
suggests that your chances of success are greatest if
you have a gender-neutral or traditionally male name.
Researchers examined the relationship between the
perceived masculinity of a person’s name and his or her
success in this field.19 They found that a woman named
“Cameron” is roughly three times more likely to become a
judge than one named “Sue.” A female “Bruce” is five times
more likely.
Most people aren’t willing to change their name to further
career goals. But it’s possible to choose variants of a name
that have a professional advantage. For example, Christina
Jones might use her nickname, Chris, for gender neutrality
on job applications. Someone with a hard-to-pronounce
name might choose a nickname for work purposes. For
example, it’s customary in China for businesspeople and
students of English to choose a Western name that is similar
to theirs: Guanghui may go by Arthur and Junyuan by
Joanna. In a competitive job market, little differences can
mean a great deal.
Based on the research described here, do you think your name
may affect your career? Have others’ names ever shaped your
perceptions?
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the session indicated that the highly educated audience found the lecture clear
and stimulating. 20 Yet Fox was a complete fraud. He was a professional actor
whom researchers had coached to deliver a bogus lecture—a patchwork of infor-
mation from a Scientific American article mixed with jokes, illogical conclusions,
contradictory statements, and meaningless references to unrelated topics. When
wrapped in a linguistic package of high-level professional jargon, however, the
presentation succeeded. In other words, the audience’s reaction was based more
on the credibility that arose from his use of impressive-sounding language than
on the ideas he expressed.
Status In the classic musical My Fair Lady, Professor Henry Higgins transforms
Eliza Doolittle from a lowly flower girl into a high-society woman by helping
her replace her cockney accent with an upper-crust speaking style. Decades of
research have demonstrated the power of speech to influence status. Several fac-
tors combine to create positive or negative impressions: accent, choice of words,
speech rate, and even the apparent age of a speaker. In most cases, speakers of
standard dialect are rated higher than nonstandard speakers in a variety of ways:
They are viewed as more competent and more self-confident, and the content of
their messages is rated more favorably. By contrast, the unwillingness or inability
of a communicator to use the standard dialect fluently can have serious conse-
quences. For instance, African American vernacular English is a distinctive dialect
with its own accent, grammar, syntax, and semantic rules. Unfortunately, people
sometimes assume that people who speak this vernacular are less intelligent,
less professional, less capable, less socially acceptable, and less employable that
people who speak what scholars call “standard English.”21 Speakers with other
nonstandard accents also can be stigmatized.22
Worldview Some scholars and travelers have observed a phenomenon known
as linguistic relativism, which proposes that the language we speak shapes the
way we view the world.23 For an explanation of this phenomenon, see the “Under-
standing Diversity” sidebar on page 103.
Sexism and Racism By now it should be clear that the power of language to
shape attitudes goes beyond individual cases and influences how we perceive
entire groups of people. Children exposed to words such as fireman and business-
man are typically less likely than other children to think that women can pursue
those occupations.24,25 This assumption is far less prevalent among children
exposed to gender-neutral terms such as firefighter and business person. Based on
evidence such as this, many people argue that gender-neutral language is not
merely “politically correct,” but is a powerful force in shaping opportunities and
identities.
Some languages emphasize gender less than others. In Finnish, for example,
the same pronoun hän refers to both males and females. Finnish speakers some-
times puzzle over whether to call individuals he or she in English because they
aren’t accustomed to categorizing people that way.26 The implications of such
language differences are notable. Gender equality is greater in countries such as
Finland, where language is nongendered, than in regions where the predominant
language (such as Spanish, German, or Russian) attributes a gender to nearly
every noun.27 In Spanish, a spoon (la cuchara) is feminine, a fork (el tenedor) is
masculine, a napkin (la servilleta) is feminine, and so on. First names in those lan-
guages also tend to be distinctly masculine or feminine. English falls somewhere
in the middle, in that people and animals are referred to as he and she, but groups
of people and objects are described in gender-neutral terms such as they or it. (See
the Language and Worldview box for more about the link between language and
attitudes.)
linguistic relativism The notion that
language influences the way we experi-
ence the world.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
One of the most treasured civil liberties is
freedom of speech. At the same time, most
people would agree that some forms of
speech are hateful and demeaning.
• Do you think laws and policies can and
should be made that limit certain types of
racist and sexist communication?
• If so, how should those limits be drafted
to protect open debate?
• If not, how would you justify protecting
language that some people find personally
degrading?
ASK YOURSELF
Imagine for a moment
that the words love,
disappointment, and
hate did not exist.
Would you be aware
of those feelings in
the same way? Could
you talk about them as
effectively?
?
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Although English is not entirely gender neutral, it’s fairly easy to use nonsex-
ist language. For example, the term mankind may be replaced by humanity, human
beings, human race, or people; manmade may be replaced by artificial, manufactured,
and synthetic; manpower may be replaced by human power, workers, and workforce;
and manhood may be replaced by adulthood.
The use of labels for racist purposes has a long and ugly past. Names have been
used throughout history to stigmatize groups that other groups have disapproved
of.34 By using derogatory terms to label some people, the out-group is set apart
and pictured in an unfavorable light. Diane Mader provides several examples of
this:
We can see the process of stigmatization in Nazi Germany when Jewish people
became vermin, in the United States when African Americans became “niggers”
and chattel, in the military when the Vietnam-era enemy became “gooks.”35
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Language and Worldview
Mudita: Taking delight in the happiness of others (Sanskrit)
Voorpret: The sense of delightful anticipation before a big event
(Dutch)
Koi No Yokan: The sense upon first meeting a person that the
two of you are going to fall in love (Japanese)
Cavoli Riscaldati: The result of attempting to revive an unwork-
able relationship (Italian); translates to “reheated cabbage”28
Witzelsucht: The tendency to excessively make puns and tell
inappropriate jokes and pointless stories (German)29
If you feel that life would be a little bit different if you had
these phrases in your vocabulary, score one for linguistic
relativism, the notion that words influence the way we expe-
rience the world.30
If not, score one for the opposition.
Whichever team you pick, you’re in good
company. The best-known declaration
of linguistic relativism is the Sapir-Whorf
hypothesis.31 Philosophers and scientists
have been debating it and theories like it
for about 150 years.
In one experiment, researchers asked Eng-
lish speakers and Himba speakers (from a
region of southeast Africa) to distinguish
between colors. The Himba speakers,
whose language includes words for many
shades of green, were able to distinguish
between green hues that English speakers
perceived as being all one color. Conversely,
English speakers were able to distinguish
between blue and green, whereas Himba speakers, who use
the same word for both, often didn’t see a difference.32
People who doubt linguistic relativity argue that, when we
don’t have a specific word for something, we use others in
its place. They also point out that perception is not strictly
in vocabulary’s cage. That is, people often invent things for
which they previously had no words. Think Internet, micro-
wave oven, and telephone.33
Although the debate about language relativity isn’t likely to
be resolved any time soon, it reveals a great deal about the
power and limitations of words. Keep this in mind the next
time words fail you and you think of a witty comeback only
after the moment has passed. The Germans have a word for
that: treppenwitz.
Source: Drew Dernavich The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
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The power of racist language to shape attitudes is difficult to avoid, even
when it’s obviously offensive. In a classic study, even people who disapproved
of a derogatory label used against a member of a minority group tended to think
less of the group members after encountering the term.36 Not only did they rate
the minority individual’s competence lower when that person performed poorly,
but they also found fault with others who associated socially with the minority
person—even members of the participant’s own ethnic group.
Language Reflects Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
Besides shaping the way we view ourselves and others, language reflects our values,
attitudes, and beliefs. Feelings of control, attraction, commitment, responsibility—
all these and more are reflected in the way we use language.
Power Americans typically consider language powerful when it is clear, asser-
tive, and direct. By contrast, language is often labeled powerless when it sug-
gests that a speaker is uncertain, hesitant, intensely emotional, deferential, or
nonassertive.37
“Powerful” speech can be an important tool. In employment interviews, for
example, people who seem confident and assertive usually fare better than those
who stammer and seem unsure of themselves.38
It doesn’t pay to overdo it, however. Just as an extremely “powerless” approach
can feel weak, an overly “powerful” one can come off as presumptuous and bossy.
A lot depends on the context. Consider the following statements a student might
make to a professor:
“Excuse me, sir, I hate to say this, but I won’t be able to turn in the assignment
on time. I had a personal emergency and . . . well . . . it was just impossible to
finish it by today. Would that be okay?”
“I wasn’t able to finish the assignment that was due today. I’ll have it in your
mailbox on Monday.”
If you were the professor in this situation, which approach would you prefer? The
first sounds tentative and not as fluent, which, on the face of it, seems powerless.
In some situations, however, less assertive speakers seem friendlier, more sincere,
and less coercive than more assertive ones.39 You might appreciate the second
approach, which is more direct and “powerful,” or you may find it presumptuous
and disrespectful.
Your reaction to each approach is likely to reflect a number of factors: Do you
know the student well? Is it typical for him or her to miss deadlines? Do you share the same
cultural expectations? People in some cultures admire self-confidence and direct
speech. However, in many cultures, helping others save face is a higher prior-
ity, so communicators tend to speak in ambiguous terms and use hedge words
(e.g., maybe) and disclaimers. This is true in many Japanese and Korean cultures.
Similarly, in traditional Mexican culture, it’s considered polite, rather than pow-
erless, to add “por favor?” (“if you please?”) to the end of requests, such as when
ordering food in a restaurant. By contrast, “powerful” declarative statements, such
as “I’ll have the fish,” are likely to seem bossy, rude, and disrespectful.40
As you have probably gathered, the terms powerful and powerless can be misno-
mers. In the United States, women’s traditional speech patterns have often been
described as less powerful than men’s. However, there is considerable diversity
among men and women. In addition, people who do not seem powerful in tradi-
tional or obvious ways may have a great deal of influence, such as through their
relationships with others. Since we tend to trust and cooperate most with people
who build supportive, friendly relationships with us, sharing power with others
cultural idiom
save face: maintain dignity
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can be more effective than exercising power over them.41 The best communicators,
both male and female, read situations well and combine elements of both “power-
ful” and “powerless” speech.
Table 4-1 provides examples of speech often categorized as powerless. As you
review the list, keep two factors in mind: First, statements may serve several pur-
poses. For example, a phrase may serve as both a hedge and a hesitation. Second,
since meaning is personal and situational, these examples are effective in some
situations but less so in others.
Affiliation Power isn’t the only way language reflects the status of relationships.
Language can also be a way of building and demonstrating solidarity with others.
During their Year Without English, Scott Young and Vat Jaiswal found that shared
language was key to establishing relationships. Young reflects on conversations
and relationships he would not have had otherwise: “Discussing mandatory mili-
tary service over soju and salted fish. Sharing tea and talking politics with a tat-
tooed Buddhist from Tibet.”42
An impressive body of research has demonstrated that communicators who
want to show affiliation with one another adapt their speech in a variety of ways,
including their choice of vocabulary, rate of talking, number and placement of
pauses, and level of politeness.43,44 On an individual level, close friends and
romantic partners often develop special terms that serve as a way of signifying
their relationship. Using the same vocabulary sets these people apart from others,
reminding themselves and the rest of the world of their relationship. The same
process works among members of larger groups, ranging from street gangs to mili-
tary personnel. Communication researchers call this linguistic accommodation
convergence.45
Communicators can experience convergence online as well as in face-to-face
interactions. Members of online communities often develop a shared language
and conversational style, and their affiliation with one another can be seen in
convergence Accommodating one’s
speaking style to another person, usu-
ally a person who is desirable or has
higher status.
“Powerless” Language
TYPE OF USAGE EXAMPLE
Hedges suggest that a speaker is
tentative or unsure.
“I’m kinda disappointed . . .”
“I think maybe we should . . .”
“I guess I’d like to . . .”
Hesitations prolong the length of an
utterance.
“Uh, can I have a minute of your time?”
“Well, let’s see, we could try this idea . . .”
“I wish you would—er—try to be on time.”
Intensifiers indicate powerful emotion. “I really loved the movie . . .”
“You did a fabulous job!!!”
Polite forms display deference or
consideration.
“Excuse me, sir . . .”
“I hope I’m not bothering you . . .”
Tag questions transform statements
into questions.
“It’s about time we got started, isn’t it?”
“We should give it another try, don’t you think?”
Disclaimers display that a statement
is atypical for the speaker or is a
preliminary conclusion open to revision.
“I don’t usually say this, but . . .”
“I’m not really sure, but . . .”
TABLE 4-1
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increased uses of the pronoun we.46 On a larger scale, instant message and email
users create and use shortcuts that mark them as Internet-savvy. If you know
what ILYSM, OOMF, and HMU mean, you’re probably part of that group. (For the
uninitiated, those acronyms mean “I like [or love] you so much,” “one of my fol-
lowers,” and “hit me up” with a picture or message.)
When two or more people feel equally positive about one another, their lin-
guistic convergence is likely to be mutual. But when communicators want or need
the approval of others, they often adapt their speech to suit the others’ style, trying
to say the “right thing” or speak in a way that will help them fit in. For example,
employees who seek advancement tend to speak more like their supervisors. In
turn, supervisors tend to adopt the speech style of their bosses.47
The principle of speech accommodation works in reverse, too. Communica-
tors who want to set themselves apart from others adopt the strategy of diver-
gence, speaking in a way that emphasizes their difference from others. For
example, members of an ethnic group, even though fluent in the dominant
language, might use their own dialect as a way of showing solidarity with one
another—a sort of “us against them” strategy. Divergence also operates in other
settings. A physician or attorney, for example, who wants to establish credibility
with his or her client might speak formally and use professional jargon to create
a sense of distance. The implicit message here is “I’m different from (and more
knowledgeable than) you.”
Convergence and divergence aren’t the only ways to express affiliation. Lin-
guistic intergroup bias reflects whether we regard others as part of our in-group.
A positive bias leads us to describe the personality traits of in-group members in
favorable terms and those of out-group members negatively.48 For example, if an
in-group member gives money to someone in need, we are likely to describe her as
a generous person. If an out-group member (someone with whom we don’t iden-
tify) gives to the same person in need, we are likely to describe the behavior as a
one-time act of giving away money. The same in-group preferences are revealed
when we describe undesirable behaviors. If an in-group member behaves poorly,
we are likely to describe the behavior using a concrete action verb, such as “John
cheated in the game.” In contrast, if the person we are describing is an out-group
member, we are more likely to use general disposition adjectives such as “John is
a cheater.” These selective language choices are so subtle and subconscious that
when asked, people being studied reported that there were no differences in their
descriptions. We tend to believe we are less biased than we are, but our language
reveals the truth about our preferences.
Attraction and Interest Social customs discourage us from expressing like or
dislike in many situations. Only a careless person would respond to the question,
“What do you think of the cake I baked for you?” by saying, “It’s terrible.” Bashful
or cautious suitors might not admit their attraction to a potential partner. Even
when people are reluctant to speak candidly, the language they use can suggest
their degree of interest and attraction toward a person, object, or idea. Morton
Weiner and Albert Mehrabian outline a number of linguistic clues that reveal
these attitudes.49
• Demonstrative pronoun choice. “These people want our help” (positive)
versus “Those people want our help” (less positive).
• Negation. “It’s good” (positive) versus “It’s not bad” (less positive).
• Sequential placement. “Dick and Jane” (Dick is more important) versus
“Jane and Dick” (Jane is more important). However, sequential placement
isn’t always significant. You may put “toilet bowl cleaner” at the top of your
shopping list simply because of its location in the store.
ASK YOURSELF
Recall a time when you
adapted your language
to converge with the
norms of a particular
speech community.
What changes did
you make? How suc-
cessful were you in
converging?
?
divergence A linguistic strategy in
which speakers emphasize differences
between their communicative style and
that of others to create distance.
linguistic intergroup bias The ten-
dency to label people and behaviors in
terms that reflect their in-group or out-
group status.
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Responsibility In addition to suggesting liking and importance, language can
reveal the speaker’s willingness to accept responsibility for a message.
• “It” versus “I” statements. “It’s not finished” (less responsible) versus “I
didn’t finish it” (more responsible).
• “You” versus “I” statements. “Sometimes you make me angry” (less respon-
sible) versus “Sometimes I get angry when you do that” (more responsible).
“I” statements are more likely to generate positive reactions from others as
compared to accusatory ones.50
• “But” statements. “It’s a good idea, but it won’t work.” “You’re really terrific,
but I think we ought to spend less time together.” (But cancels everything
before it.)
• Questions versus statements. “Do you think we ought to do that?” (less
responsible) versus “I don’t think we ought to do that” (more responsible).
Troublesome Language
Besides being a blessing that enables us to live together, language can be something
of a curse. We all have known the frustration of being misunderstood, and most of us
have been baffled by another person’s overreaction to an innocent comment. In the
following pages we will look at several kinds of troublesome language, with the goal
of helping you communicate in a way that makes matters better instead of worse.
A checklist on page 116 provides a handy reminder of tips for using language well.
The Language of Misunderstandings
The most obvious kind of language problems are semantic: We simply don’t under-
stand others completely or accurately. Most misunderstandings arise from some
common problems that are easily remedied—after you recognize them.
Equivocal Language Misunderstandings can occur when words are equivocal,
meaning that they are open to more than one interpretation. For example, a nurse
once told a patient that he “wouldn’t be needing” the materials he requested from
home. He interpreted the statement to mean he was near
death, when the nurse meant he would be going home soon.
Some equivocal misunderstandings can be embarrassing, as
one woman recalls:
In the fourth grade the teacher asked the class what a period
was. I raised my hand and shared everything I had learned
about girls getting their period. But he was talking about the
dot at the end of a sentence. Oops!51
Some words are equivocal as a result of cultural or cocul-
tural differences in language usage. While teaching in Ire-
land, an American friend of ours asked a male colleague if
he would give her a ride to the pub. After a few chuckles, he
said, “You mean a lift.” Our friend was surprised to learn
that the word “ride” has sexual connotations in Ireland.
Equivocal misunderstandings can have serious conse-
quences. Equivocation at least partially explains why men
may sometimes persist in attempts to become physically inti-
mate when women have expressed unwillingness to do so.52
Interviews and focus groups with college students revealed
No doubt this sign draws a laugh from many who see it.
Can you think of other words that have multiple meanings?
equivocal words Words that have
more than one dictionary definition.
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that rather than saying “no” outright to a man’s sexual advances, women often
use ambiguous phrases such as, “I’m confused about this,” “I’m not sure that we’re
ready for this yet,” and “Are you sure you want to do this?” Whereas women viewed
indirect statements as meaning “no,” men were more likely to interpret them as
meaning “maybe.” As the researchers put it, “male/female misunderstandings are
not so much a matter of males hearing resistance messages as ‘go,’ but rather their
not hearing them as ‘stop.’” Under the law, “no” means precisely that, and anyone
who argues otherwise can be in for serious legal problems.
Relative Words Is the school you attend large or small? This depends on
what you compare it to: Alongside a campus like UCLA, with an enrollment of
more than 40,000 students, it probably looks small, but compared to a smaller
institution, it might seem quite large. Relative words gain their meaning by
comparison. Other examples include fast and slow, smart and stupid, and short
and long.
Some relative words are so common that we mistakenly assume that they have
a clear meaning. For instance, if a new acquaintance says, “I’ll call you soon,”
when can you expect to hear from him or her? In the same vein, how much is “a
few,” and how much is “a lot”? An inquisitive blogger received dozens of replies
after posting these questions online. Definitions of “a few” varied from one to
a dozen. Most people said “a lot” is at least 20. One respondent suggested that
people use “a horde” to describe items that are more numerous than “a lot” but
less plentiful than a “swarm” and far less than “zounds.”53
Using relative words without explaining them can lead to communication
problems. Have you been disappointed to learn that classes you’ve heard were
“easy” turned out to be hard, that trips you were told would be “short” were long,
that “hilarious” movies were mediocre? The problem in each case came from fail-
ing to anchor the relative word to more precise measures for comparison.
Slang and Jargon Most slang and jargon are related to specialized interests and
activities. Slang is language used by a group of people whose members belong to
a similar coculture or other group. For instance, cyclists who talk about “bonk-
ing” are referring to running out of energy.
Other slang consists of regionalisms—terms that only people from a relatively
small geographic area use and understand. This sort of use illustrates how slang
defines insiders and outsiders, creating a sense of identity and solidarity.54 Resi-
dents of the largest U.S. state know that when a fellow Alaskan says, “I’m going
outside,” he or she is leaving the state. In the East End of London, cockney dialect
uses rhyming words as substitutes for everyday expressions: “I haven’t a scooby”
means “I haven’t a clue,” derived from the detective canine Scooby Doo, whose
name rhymes with clue. Examples such as these illustrate how slang can be used
to identify insiders and outsiders. Insiders have no trouble making sense of them,
but outsiders are likely to be mystified or to misunderstand.
Slang can also be age related. Your mother might be insulted if you said her
dress was “sick,” but other people you know may interpret this comment as a
compliment.
Almost everyone uses some sort of jargon: the specialized vocabulary that
functions as a kind of shorthand for people with common backgrounds and
experience. Skateboarders and snowboarders have their own language to describe
maneuvers: “ollie,” “grind,” and “shove it.” Some jargon consists of acronyms—
initials of terms that are combined to form a word. Stock traders refer to the
NASDAQ (pronounced “naz-dak”) securities index, and military people label
failure to serve at one’s post as being AWOL (absent without leave). The digital
age has spawned its own vocabulary of jargon. For instance, “UGC” refers to user-
generated content, and “tl;dr” means “too long; didn’t read.”
relative words Words that gain their
meaning by comparison.
slang Language used by a group of
people whose members belong to a
similar coculture or other group.
jargon Specialized vocabulary used
as a kind of shorthand by people with
common backgrounds and experience.
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Jargon can be a valuable kind of shorthand for people who understand its use.
The trauma team in a hospital emergency room can save time, and possibly lives, by
speaking in shorthand, referring to “GSWs” (gunshot wounds), “chem 7” lab tests,
and so on. But the same specialized vocabulary that works so well among insiders
can bewilder and confuse a patient’s family members, who don’t understand the
jargon. The same sort of misunderstandings can arise in less critical settings when
insiders use their own language with people who don’t share the same vocabulary.
Overly Abstract Language Most objects, events, and ideas can be described
with varying degrees of specificity. Consider the material you are reading. You
could call it:
A book
A textbook
A communication textbook
Understanding Human Communication
Chapter 4 of Understanding Human Communication
Page 109 of Chapter 4 of Understanding Human Communication
In each case your description would be more and more specific. Semanticist S.
I. Hayakawa created an abstraction ladder to describe this process.55 This ladder
consists of a number of descriptions of the same thing. Lower items focus spe-
cifically on the person, object, or event, whereas higher terms are generalizations
that include the subject as a member of a larger class. To talk about “college,” for
example, is more abstract than to talk about a particular school. Likewise, refer-
ring to “women” is more abstract than referring to “most of the women I know.”
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Twitter Lingo Incites Controversy
Actor Ralph Fiennes hit on a hot-button issue when he
proclaimed that Twitter is dumbing down the English lan-
guage.56 He wasn’t the first to suggest such a notion. People
have weighed in with millions of online posts, some con-
demning and others applauding the truncated language
some call Twenglish or Twitterspeak.
On one side of the debate are people who argue that English
reduced to abbreviations and acronyms loses its luster and
intelligence. One professor, for example, bemoans the influx
of college admission essays with sentences that lack verbs
and are speckled with shorthand symbols such as 4 and U.57
Proponents of Twitterspeak argue that language is an art
form that is meant to be used creatively. People invent and
repurpose words because it’s fun, because speaking the
same language is a sign of group membership, and because
they want to talk about phenomena that don’t yet have
names.58 Forbes writer Alex Knapp says he was a nonbeliever
until he became an avid tweeter. Now he admires the artistry
and discipline of expressing ideas in under two dozen words
or so. “The 140 character restraint not only forces efficiency,
but it also lends itself to some really, really fun wordplay,” he
says.59 Many people seem to agree. Twitter’s stock dropped
in 2016 when rumors surfaced that it would soon allow
longer tweets.60
Because Twenglish changes so rapidly, using it skillfully is
both interesting and challenging.61 New terms arise and
others disappear. “Totes jellie” (totally jealous) is passé, and
775 (kiss me) and LPC (lesbian power couple) are in—at least
they were 5 minutes ago.
Would Shakespeare be aghast if he knew how drastically lan-
guage has changed? Maybe not. The Bard was fond of word-
play himself. Words such as advertising, gossip, and swagger
(among about 1,700 others) didn’t exist until he invented
them.62
Will formal English morph to be more Twitter-like? As one
blogger puts it, we’ll just have to W8 N C.
abstraction ladder A range of more-
to less-abstract terms describing an
event or object.
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Higher-level abstractions are a useful tool, because without them language
would be too cumbersome to be useful. It’s faster, easier, and more useful to talk
about Europe than to list all of the countries on that continent. In the same way,
using relatively abstract terms like friendly or smart can make it easier to describe
people than listing their specific actions.
Abstract language—speech that refers to events or objects only vaguely—
serves a second, less obvious function. At times it allows us to avoid confronta-
tions by deliberately being unclear. Suppose, for example, your boss is enthusiastic
about a new approach to doing business that you think is a terrible idea. Telling the
truth might seem too risky, but lying—saying, “I think it’s a great idea”—wouldn’t
feel right either. In situations like this an abstract answer can hint at your true
belief without a direct confrontation: “I don’t know. . . . It’s sure unusual. . . . It
might work.” The same sort of abstract language can help you avoid embarrassing
friends who ask for your opinion with questions like, “What do you think of my
new haircut?” An abstract response like, “It’s really different!” may be easier for
you to deliver—and for your friend to receive—than the clear, brutal truth: “It’s
really ugly!” We will have more to say about this linguistic strategy of equivoca-
tion later in this chapter.
Although vagueness does have its uses, highly abstract language can cause
several types of problems. The first is stereotyping. Consider claims such as, “All
whites are bigots,” “Men don’t care about relationships,” “The police are a bunch
of pigs,” or “Professors around here care more about their research than they
do about students.” Each of these claims ignores the very important fact that
abstract descriptions are almost always too general; they say more than we
really mean.
Besides creating stereotypical attitudes, abstract language can lead to the prob-
lem of confusing others. Imagine the lack of understanding that results from impre-
cise language in situations like this:
A: We never do anything that’s fun anymore.
B: What do you mean?
A: We used to do lots of unusual things, but now it’s the same old stuff, over and
over.
B: But last week we went on that camping trip, and tomorrow we’re going to that
party where we’ll meet all sorts of new people. Those are new things.
A: That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about really unusual stuff.
B: (becoming confused and a little impatient) Like what? Taking hard drugs or going
over Niagara Falls in a barrel?
A: Don’t be stupid. All I’m saying is that we’re in a rut. We should be living more
exciting lives.
B: Well, I don’t know what you want.
The best way to avoid this sort of overly abstract language is to use behavioral
descriptions instead. (See Table 4-2.) Behavioral descriptions move down the
abstraction ladder to identify the specific, observable phenomenon being discussed.
A thorough description should answer three questions:
1. Who is involved? Are you speaking for just yourself or for others as well? Are
you talking about a group of people (“the neighbors,” “women”) or specific
individuals (“the people next door with the barking dog,” “Lola and Lizzie”)?
cultural idiom
in a rut: having fixed, unsatisfying
habits
abstract language Language that
lacks specificity or does not refer to
observable behavior or other sensory
data.
behavioral description An
account that refers only to observable
phenomena.
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2. In what circumstances does the behavior occur? Where does it occur:
everywhere or in specific places (at parties, at work, in public)? When does it
occur: when you’re tired or when a certain subject comes up? The behavior
you are describing probably doesn’t occur all the time. In order to be under-
stood, you need to pin down what circumstances set this situation apart from
other ones.
3. What behaviors are involved? Though terms such as more cooperative and
helpful might sound like concrete descriptions of behavior, they are usually
too vague to do a clear job of explaining what’s on your mind. Behaviors must
be observable, ideally both to you and to others. For instance, moving down
the abstraction ladder from the relatively vague term helpful, you might come
to behaviors such as does the dishes every other day, volunteers to help me with my
studies, or fixes dinner once or twice a week without being asked. It’s easy to see
that terms like these are easier for both you and others to understand than are
more vague abstractions.
Behavioral descriptions can improve communication in a wide range of situ-
ations, as Table 4-2 illustrates. Research also supports the value of specific lan-
guage. One study found that well-adjusted couples had just as many conflicts as
poorly adjusted couples, but the way the well-adjusted couples handled their prob-
lems was significantly different. Instead of blaming each other, partners in well-
adjusted couples expressed their complaints in behavioral terms.63 For instance,
instead of saying, “You’re a slob,” an enlightened partner might say, “I wish you
wouldn’t leave your dishes in the sink.”
Abstract Versus Behavioral Descriptions
BEHAVIORAL DESCRIPTION
ABSTRACT
DESCRIPTION
WHO IS
INVOLVED
IN WHAT
CIRCUMSTANCES SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS THE DIFFERENCE
PROBLEM I talk too much . . . . . . around
people I find
intimidating
. . . when I want
them to like me
I talk (mostly about
myself) instead
of giving them a
chance to speak or
asking about their
lives.
Behavioral description more
clearly identifies behaviors to
change.
GOAL I want to be more
constructive . . .
. . . with my
roommate
. . . when we talk
about household
duties
. . . instead of finding
fault with her ideas,
and suggesting
alternatives that
might work.
Behavioral description clearly
outlines how to act; abstract
description doesn’t.
APPRECIATION “You’ve really been
helpful lately.”
Coworkers When I’ve had
to take time off
work for personal
reasons
“You graciously
took on my
workload in my
absence.”
Behavioral descriptions show
gratitude more specifically.
REQUEST “Behave!” Romantic
partner
When we’re
around my family
“Please don’t tell
jokes that involve
sex.”
Behavioral description
specifies desired behavioral
change.
TABLE 4-2
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Disruptive Language
Not all linguistic problems come from misunderstandings. Sometimes people
understand one another perfectly and still end up in conflict. Of course, not all dis-
agreements can, or should, be avoided. But eliminating three bad linguistic habits
from your communication repertoire can minimize the kind of clashes that don’t
need to happen, allowing you to save your energy for the unavoidable and impor-
tant struggles.
Confusing Facts and Opinions Do you ever state an opinion as if it’s a fact? Fac-
tual statements are claims that can be verified as true or false. By contrast, opin-
ion statements are based on the speaker’s beliefs. Unlike matters of fact, they can
never be proved or disproved. Consider a few examples of the difference between
factual statements and opinion statements:
factual statement A statement that
can be verified as being true or false.
opinion statement A statement
based on the speaker’s beliefs.
inferential statement A conclusion
arrived at from an interpretation of
evidence.
FACT OPINION
It rains more in Seattle than in
Portland.
The climate in Portland is better than
in Seattle.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the all-time
leading scorer in the National
Basketball Association.
Kareem is the greatest basketball
player in the history of the game.
Per capita income in the United
States is higher than in many other
countries.
The United States is the best model of
economic success in the world.
When factual statements and opinion statements are set side by side like this,
the difference between them is clear. In everyday conversation, we often present
our opinions as if they were facts, and in doing so we invite an unnecessary argu-
ment. For example:
“That was a dumb thing to say!”
“Spending that much on [ ] is a waste of money!”
“You can’t get a fair shake in this country unless you’re a white male.”
Notice how much less antagonistic each statement would be if it were prefaced by a
qualifier like “In my opinion . . .” or “It seems to me. . . .”
Confusing Facts and Inferences Labeling your opinions can go a long way
toward relational harmony, but developing this habit won’t solve all linguistic
problems. Difficulties also arise when we confuse factual statements with infer-
ential statements—conclusions arrived at from an interpretation of evidence.
Consider a few examples:
cultural idioms
fair shake: equitable treatment
weasel out: unfairly avoid doing
something
ASK YOURSELF
Why do you think we
so often present our
opinions in ways that
make them sound like
facts?
?
FACT INFERENCE
He hit a lamppost while driving down
the street.
He was daydreaming when he hit the
lamppost.
You interrupted me before I finished
what I was saying.
You don’t care about what I have to
say.
You haven’t paid your share of the
rent on time for the past 3 months.
You’re trying to weasel out of your
responsibilities.
I haven’t gotten a raise in almost a
year.
The boss is exploiting me.
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There’s nothing wrong with making inferences as long as you identify them as
such: “She stomped out and slammed the door. It looked to me as if she were furi-
ous.” The danger comes when we confuse inferences with facts and make them
sound like the absolute truth.
One way to avoid fact–inference confusion is to use the perception-checking
skill described in Chapter 2 to test the accuracy of your inferences. Recall that a
perception check has three parts: a description of the behavior being discussed,
your interpretation of that behavior, and a request for verification. For instance,
instead of saying, “Why are you laughing at me?” you could say, “When you laugh
like that [description of behavior], I get the idea you think something I did was stupid
[interpretation]. Are you making fun of me [question]?”
Emotive Language Are the words you use neutral or charged? Emotive language
contains words that sound as if they’re describing something when they are really
announcing the speaker’s attitude toward something. Do you like that old picture
frame? If so, you would probably call it “an antique,” but if you think it’s ugly, you
would likely describe it as “a piece of junk.” Emotive words may sound like state-
ments of fact but are always opinions.
Barbra Streisand pointed out how some people use emotive language to stig-
matize behavior in women that they admire in men:
A man is commanding—a woman is demanding.
A man is forceful—a woman is pushy.
A man is uncompromising—a woman is a ball-breaker.
A man is a perfectionist—a woman’s a pain in the ass.
He’s assertive—she’s aggressive.
He strategizes—she manipulates.
He shows leadership—she’s controlling.
Donald Trump’s unapologetic use of
disruptive language upended notions
of civility in the 2016 U.S. presidential
campaign. Supporters called it candor,
while detractors accused him of being a
hateful demagogue.
Do you ever use emotive language? If so,
what are the consequences?
emotive language Language that
conveys an attitude rather than simply
offering an objective description.
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He’s committed—she’s obsessed.
He’s persevering—she’s relentless.
He sticks to his guns—she’s stubborn.
If a man wants to get it right, he’s looked up to and respected.
If a woman wants to get it right, she’s difficult and impossible.64
When feelings run strong, it’s easy to use emotive language instead of more
objective speech. Recall a time when you used emotive language. What were the
consequences?
Problems occur when people use emotive words without labeling them as
such. You might, for instance, have a long and bitter argument with a friend about
whether a third person was “assertive” or “obnoxious,” when a more accurate
and peaceable way to handle the issue would be to acknowledge that one of you
approves of the behavior and the other doesn’t.
Evasive Language
None of the troublesome language habits we have described so far is a delib-
erate strategy to mislead or antagonize others. Now, however, we’ll consider
euphemisms and equivocations, two types of language that speakers use by
design to avoid communicating clearly. Although both of these have some
very legitimate uses, they also can lead to frustration and confusion.
Euphemisms From the Greek meaning “to use words of good omen,” a
euphemism is a mild or indirect term or expression substituted for a more
direct but potentially less pleasant one. We are using euphemisms when we say
“restroom” instead of “toilet” or “full-figured” instead of “overweight.” There
certainly are cases in which the euphemistic pulling of linguistic punches can
be face saving. It’s probably more constructive to question a possible “statisti-
cal misrepresentation” than to call someone a liar, for example. Likewise, it
may be less disquieting to some to refer to people as “older adults” rather than
as “old.”
Like many businesses, the airline industry often uses euphemisms.65 For
example, rather than saying “turbulence,” pilots and flight attendants use the
less frightening term “bumpy air.” Likewise, they refer to thunderstorms as “rain
showers,” and fog as “mist” or “haze.” And savvy flight personnel never use the
words “your final destination.”
Despite their occasional advantages, many euphemisms are best avoided.
Some are pretentious and confusing, such as a middle school’s labeling of hall-
ways as “behavior transition corridors.” Other euphemisms are downright decep-
tive, such as the U.S. Senate’s labeling of a $23,200 pay raise as a “pay equalization
concept.”
Equivocation It’s 8:15 P.M., and you are already a half-hour late for your dinner
reservation at the fanciest restaurant in town. Your partner has finally finished
dressing and confronts you with the question, “How do I look?” To tell the truth,
you hate your partner’s outfit. You don’t want to lie, but on the other hand you
don’t want to be hurtful. Just as important, you don’t want to lose your table by
waiting around for your date to choose something else to wear. You think for a
moment and then reply, “You look amazing. I’ve never seen an outfit like that
before. Where did you get it?”
Your response in this situation was an equivocation—a deliberately vague
statement that can be interpreted in more than one way. Earlier in this chapter we
euphemism A mild or indirect term or
expression used in place of a more direct
but less pleasant one.
equivocation A deliberately vague
statement that can be interpreted in
more than one way.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Euphemisms and
Equivocations
For most Americans, “telling it like it is” is
generally a virtue, while “beating around
the bush” is a minor sin. You can test the
function of indirect speech by following
these directions:
• Identify five examples of euphemisms
and equivocations in everyday interaction.
• Imagine how matters would have been
different if the speakers or writers had
used direct language in each situation.
• Based on your observations, discuss
whether and when equivocation and
euphemisms have any place in face-to-
face communication.
cultural idiom
beating around the bush: avoiding a
direct expression
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S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
Your Use of Language
Circle the number in each continuum that best represents you.
1. I often pause to think carefully about the words
I use.
↔ I like fast-paced conversations in which I don’t have to weigh every word.
1 2 3 4 5
2. I am precise and factual when I tell a story. ↔ I tend to exaggerate to get a laugh or make a point.
1 2 3 4 5
3. I am careful not to offend anyone when I speak. ↔ I regularly use curse words and like to tell an off-color joke now and then.
1 2 3 4 5
4. When I am upset, I delay talking until I calm down. ↔ I am up front about how I feel, even when I’m upset.
1 2 3 4 5
5. I am careful to use gender-neutral language. ↔ I see no harm in words such as “policeman” and “salesman.”
1 2 3 4 5
6. I pride myself on speaking proper English. ↔ I enjoy using up-to-date slang and jargon.
1 2 3 4 5
7. I’m careful to ask others what they mean rather than
assuming I understand their ideas and motives.
↔ I’m pretty good at understanding what’s on others’ minds without
needing to ask for a lot of clarification.
1 2 3 4 5
8. In sensitive situations I try to use diplomatic language. ↔ I am honest, even when it’s not what people want to hear.
1 2 3 4 5
INTERPRETING YOUR RESPONSES
• If you circled mostly 1s, 2s, and 3s, you tend to be a mindful communicator who regards language as a power-
ful and precise tool.
• Low scores on items 1, 2, and 4 suggest that you typically avoid emotive language and exaggerations.
• Low scores on items 3 and 5 indicate that you are cautious about using language that might be considered
offensive.
• A low score on item 7 shows that you recognize the potential for misunderstandings, even in apparently clear
statements.
• A low score on item 8 suggests that you are tactful, but your language may seem euphemistic or equivocal at
times.
• If you circled mostly 3s, 4s, and 5s, you tend to use language in artistic and spontaneous ways, but you may
sometimes go too far.
• High scores on items 1 and 8 suggest that you value open communication and a good debate, but keep in mind
that your spontaneity may lead you to risky inferences.
• High scores on items 2 and 6 indicate that you value colorful language and are probably an engaging storyteller,
but you may confuse people who aren’t familiar with your style or vocabulary.
• If you scored high on item 4, you probably confront issues head-on, but be careful that your language doesn’t
become overly emotive, which can escalate an argument.
• High scores on items 3 and 5 indicate that you don’t take words too seriously, but bear in mind that others may.
Your statements may cause offense.
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talked about how unintentional equivocation can lead to misunder-
standings. But our discussion here focuses on intentionally ambiguous
speech that is used to avoid lying on one hand and telling a painful
truth on the other. Equivocations have several advantages.66 They
spare the receiver from the embarrassment that might come from
a completely truthful answer, and it can be easier for the sender to
equivocate than to suffer the discomfort of being honest.
As with euphemisms, high-level abstractions, and many other
types of communication, it’s impossible to say that equivocation is
always helpful or harmful. As you learned in Chapter 1, competent
communication behavior is situational. Your success in relating to
others will depend on your ability to analyze yourself, the other
person, and the situation when deciding whether to be equivocal
or direct.
Gender and Language
“Why do women say they’re fine when they’re not?”
“Why do men want to talk about sex so much?”
“Why do women talk on the phone for hours?”
“Why won’t he tell me how he feels?”
These are common questions on websites with titles such as “I Don’t
Understand Women”67 and “8 Things We Don’t Understand About
Men.”68 Gendered perspectives on language fascinate everyday people
as well as researchers. The tricky part can be differentiating between
stereotypes and current realities. This section explores 10 true and false
statements about how men and women use language.
1. Metaphorically speaking, men are from Mars, and women
are from Venus. False. There’s no denying that gender differ-
ences can be perplexing. But the sexes aren’t actually “opposite”
or nearly as different as the Mars–Venus metaphor suggests. As
you read in Chapter 2, gender is a continuum that concludes
a nearly infinite array of identities. Masculine and feminine
people are more alike than they are different, and there is
immense diversity within every identity group. As you read the
following points, keep in mind that generalities don’t describe
every person, and terms such as men and women, although
common in the literature, don’t begin to describe the true diver-
sity among people.
2. Women talk more than men. False. Men and women speak
roughly the same number of words per day, but women generally
speak most freely when talking to other women, whereas men
usually talk more in professional settings.69
3. Men and women talk about different things. True . . .
sometimes. This is most true when women talk to women and
men talk to men. Among themselves, women tend to spend
more time discussing relational issues such as family, friends,
and emotions. Male friends, on the other hand, are more
likely to discuss recreational topics such as sports, technology
CHECKLIST
Choose Your Words
Carefully
It may be tempting sometimes to blurt out
statements without thinking, but impetuous
word choices can be confusing, hurtful, and
downright wrong. Here are some tips to help
clarify your language and avoid mix-ups.
Use idioms, slang, jargon, and abbreviations
with caution. When you use phrases such as
“I’m all in” or “I’m in the weeds,” make sure
others understand what you mean.
Be specific. “It will take me 30 minutes” is
better than “It won’t take long.”
Clarify whom you represent. If you say
“we think . . . ,” be clear about who “we” is.
Otherwise, use “I” statements.
Explain what you mean when you use abstract
words such as good, bad, helpful, and happy.
Focus on specific behaviors. (“It’s important
that you arrive by 9 A.M. every day.”)
Reference specific situations. (“It meant so
much when you texted me before my big
exam.”)
Don’t present opinions as facts. (Instead of
“Online classes are best” say “I prefer online
classes.”)
Don’t jump to conclusions. (“I was disap-
pointed when you missed the deadline” is
better than “You don’t care about the job.”)
Avoid emotive language, such as “He runs
like a girl,” that implies broad or hurtful
value judgments.
Euphemisms, such as “He went to a better
place,” can be gentler than other words, but
avoid them if they may also cause confusion
or seem dishonest.
Equivocations, such as “Your presentation
was unique,” can spare people’s feelings,
but avoid them when you want to convey
specific information.
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use, and nightlife.70 That is not to say that people of dif-
ferent genders always talk about different things. Nearly
everyone reports talking frequently about work, movies,
and television.71
4. Where romance is concerned, it’s complicated. Undeniable.
Although social roles have changed dramatically over the
decades, powerful vestiges of traditional gender roles persist
when it comes to romance. For example, when researchers
recently studied an online chat site for teens, they found that
young men were more likely than young women to post flirta-
tious comments and bold sexual invitations, and females were
more likely to post friendly comments and to ask about and
share their feelings. 72
Research about first dates and speed dating shows that men
are more inclined than women to bring up the topic of sex,
and women are more likely than men to think that a date is successful if
conversation flows smoothly and the tone is friendly.73,74 Take heart: These
differences between gender roles tend to moderate as dating partners get
to know each other better.
5. Men and women communicate for different reasons. Often true.
People of all genders share a desire to build and maintain social rela-
tionships through communication. Their ways of accomplishing this are
often different, however. In general, men are more likely than women to
emphasize making conversation fun. Their discussions involve a greater
amount of joking and good-natured teasing. By contrast, women’s con-
versations focus more frequently on feelings, relationships, and personal
problems.75 Consequently, women may wonder why men “aren’t taking
them seriously,” and men may wonder why women are so “emotionally
intense.”
6. Women are emotionally expressive. Often true. Because women fre-
quently use conversation to pursue social needs, they are often said to
have an affective (emotionally based) style. Female speech typically con-
tains statements showing support for the other person, demonstrations
of equality, and efforts to keep the conversation going. Because of these
goals, traditionally female speech often contains statements of sympathy
and empathy: “I’ve felt just like that myself,” “The same thing happened to
me!” Instant messages written by women tend to be more expressive than
ones composed by men.76 They are more likely to contain laughter (“hehe”),
emoticons (smiley faces), emphasis (italics, boldface, repeated letters), and
adjectives. Women are also inclined to ask lots of questions that invite the
other person to share information: “How did you feel about that?” “What
did you do next?”
However, women—like men—are typically hesitant to share their feelings
when they think others will consider them weak or moody.77 This is par-
ticularly true in professional settings, where women often perceive that
they will be judged more harshly than men if they express emotions. This
is one rationale behind saying “Nothing’s wrong” when something actu-
ally is.
7. Men don’t show their feelings. Partly true, partly false. In contrast to women,
men have traditionally been socialized to use language instrumentally—that is,
to accomplish tasks. This is one reason that, when someone shares a problem,
“Be honest with me Roger. By ‘mid-course correction’
you mean divorce, don’t you.”
Source: Leo Cullum The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
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instead of empathizing, men are prone to offer advice: “That’s nothing to
worry about . . .” or “Here’s what you need to do . . . .”
To compound the issue, men in many cultures are discouraged from crying
or showing feelings of sadness. Consequently, they often cope with difficult
situations by using humor or distractions to avoid showing grief or sorrow,
especially in public.78
That’s not to say that men never express emotions. They are often demon-
strative when they consider it socially acceptable, such as at a sporting
event.79 In their private lives, men typically do express emotion, but often
by their actions (such as physical affection and favors) rather than in
words.80
8. Women’s speech is typically powerless, and men’s is more powerful.
False. As you may remember from the earlier discussion, power is a nebulous
term. While it is true that traditionally feminine speech typically includes
more hedges and hesitations than traditionally male speech, those less asser-
tive speech patterns can be powerful means of building relationships and
collaborating with others.
Moreover, in certain contexts, gender’s influence on language is nearly
undetectable. For example, researchers asked men and women to describe a
health-related episode in their lives.81 They then created written transcripts
of their responses. Detailed analysis revealed that the women used slightly
more intense adverbs and personal pronouns than men did. However,
everyday people who read the transcripts were largely unable to identify
the speaker’s gender. The same researchers then asked men, women, and
transgender women to describe a painting. Studied closely, the transgender
women’s word choices were slightly more similar to men’s than to women’s,
but again, most people could not distinguish between them on the basis of
word choice.
9. Men and women are hardwired to communicate differently. Partly
true, but less than many people assume. Research shows that men with
high testosterone levels are more competitive than those with lower levels of
the hormone, and they respond with more emotional language than other
men when faced with setbacks.82,83 Estrogen is associated with heightened
emotional experiences and expression of emotion.84 However, hormones
do not correlate perfectly with biological sex. While men typically have
more testosterone and women estrogen, these hormones are present in both
men and women, and their presence varies by individual. Moreover, hor-
mones’ influence is less intense than most people think. For example, only
3% to 8% of women experience hormonal mood swings beyond the range
of everyday emotions.85
10. Men and women are socialized to communicate differently. True. One
of the main reasons men and women communicate differently is that society
expects them to. When researchers asked people to pretend they were either
male or female while describing a painting, the differences were pronounced,
reflecting the way people think men and women communicate, even more
than the way they actually do.86
Because of preconceived notions, men and women encounter different con-
versational climates. People in one study interrupted female speakers more
than male speakers, even though all the speakers were trained to say much
the same thing.87 Similar effects are notable in the written word. Health news
Research shows that male and female
speech is different in some respects and
similar in others.
How would you characterize your use
of language on a stereotypically male–
female spectrum?
119
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CHAPTER 4 Review
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
OBJECTIVE Describe the symbolic, person-
centered, rule-governed nature of language.
• A language is a collection of symbols governed by a vari-
ety of rules and used to convey messages between people.
• Because of its symbolic nature, language is not a precise
tool. Meanings rest in people, not in words themselves.
• In order for effective communication to occur, it is nec-
essary to negotiate meanings for ambiguous statements.
> Test your understanding by explaining the symbolic,
rule-governed nature of language to someone unfa-
miliar with the concepts in this chapter.
> How has the principle that meanings are in people,
not words, created challenges in your life?
4.1
> How can you do a better job expressing yourself and
understanding the other person in an important
relationship?
OBJECTIVE Explain how language both shapes
and reflects attitudes.
• Language not only describes people, ideas, processes,
and events; it also shapes people’s perceptions of them
in areas such as status, credibility, and attitudes about
gender and ethnicity.
• Along with influencing people’s attitudes, language
reflects them.
• The words we use and our manner of speech reflect
power, responsibility, affiliation, attraction, and interest.
> How might the language a person uses influence his
or her social status and credibility? Give examples
of statements often categorized as “powerless” and
statements considered to be “powerful.”
4.2
aimed at female audiences typically includes more hedges, hesitations, and
tag questions than articles in men’s magazines.88
By now it’s probably clear that neither characteristically male or female
styles of speech meet all communication needs. You can improve your
linguistic competence by switching and combining styles. If you reflex-
ively take an instrumental approach that focuses on the content of others’
remarks, consider paying more attention to the unstated relational mes-
sages behind their words. If you generally focus on the feelings part of
a message, consider being more task oriented. If your first instinct is to
be supportive, consider the value of offering advice; and if advice is your
reflexive way of responding, think about whether offering support and
understanding might sometimes be more helpful. Research confirms
what common sense suggests: Balancing a task-oriented approach with
a relationship-oriented approach is usually the most effective strategy.
Choosing the approach that is right for the other communicator and the
situation can create satisfaction far greater than that which comes from
using a single stereotypical style.
This chapter began with Scott Young and Vat Jaiswal’s plan to travel the
world, adapting to the language of each culture they visited. In the end, they
were not able to forsake English entirely. The two friends say they consider the
adventure a success, however, in that it made them more appreciative of the
diversity that surrounds them every day and more skillful at adapting to it.
“A lot of people get souvenirs or they’ll get a tattoo or something,” Young says,
“but having a skill, having this connection to a culture afterwards, I think is so
much more rewarding.”89
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 4 Language120
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KEY TERMS
abstraction ladder p. 109
abstract language p. 110
behavioral description p. 110
connotative meanings p. 97
convergence p. 105
denotative meanings p. 97
dialect p. 97
divergence p. 106
emotive language p. 113
equivocal words p. 107
equivocation p. 114
euphemism p. 114
factual statement p. 112
inferential statement p. 112
jargon p. 108
language p. 97
linguistic intergroup bias p. 106
linguistic relativism p. 102
opinion statement p. 112
phonological rules p. 98
pragmatic rules p. 99
reappropriation p. 100
relative words p. 108
semantic rules p. 99
slang p. 108
syntactic rules p. 98
ACTIVITIES
1. Powerful Speech and Polite Speech Increase your ability
to achieve an optimal balance between powerful speech
and polite speech by rehearsing one of the following
scenarios:
a. Describing your qualifications to a potential employer
for a job that interests you
b. Requesting an extension on a deadline from one of
your professors
c. Explaining to a merchant why you want a cash refund
on an unsatisfactory piece of merchandise when the
store’s policy is to issue credit vouchers
d. Asking your boss for three days off so you can attend
a friend’s out-of-town wedding
e. Approaching your neighbors whose dog barks while
they are away from home
> Record or transcribe from memory a recent conversa-
tion in which you were involved. Identify statements
that illustrate concepts described on pages 100–107.
> How might you use language more mindfully to
impress a prospective employer during a job inter-
view? To show support for a friend?
OBJECTIVE Distinguish the main types of
troublesome language and their effects, as described
on pages 107–115.
• Many types of language have the potential to create
misunderstandings.
• Other types of language can result in unnecessary con-
flicts. In other cases, speech and writing can be evasive,
avoiding expression of unwelcome messages.
> Compare and contrast equivocal language, relative
words, and abstract language.
> When do you consider it acceptable to use euphe-
misms and equivocal language? When do you think
such language is confusing or unfair?
> Identify examples of troublesome language in a
movie or television show. How could you become
more mindful of similar patterns in your own
communication?
OBJECTIVE Explain how gender and
nongender variables, described on pages 116–119,
affect communication.
• The relationship between gender and language is
complex.
• Although there are differences in the ways men and
women speak, not all differences in language use can be
accounted for by the speaker’s gender.
• Occupation, social philosophy, and orientation toward
problem solving also influence the use of language, and
psychological sex role can be more of an influence than
biological sex.
> In your own words, describe the similarities and dif-
ferences between characteristically male and female
language as outlined on pages 116–119.
> How do these similarities and differences compare to
your use of language? To the linguistic style of people
you know well?
> If the language you use is closest to the “masculine”
styles described, when and how might you use “femi-
nine” strategies to expand your repertoire? If your
style is more “feminine,” when and how might you
use “masculine” styles effectively?
4.3
4.4
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CHAPTER 4 Review
Your statement should gain its power by avoiding the
types of powerless language listed in Table 4-1 on
page 105. You should not become abusive or threatening,
and your statement should be completely honest.
2. Gender and Language Note differences in the language
use of three men and three women you know. Include
yourself in the analysis. Your analysis will be most accu-
rate if you record the speech of each person you analyze.
Consider the following categories:
> Conversational content
> Conversational style
> Reasons for communicating
> Use of powerful/powerless speech
Based on your observations, answer the following
questions:
> How much does gender influence speech?
> What role do other variables play? Consider occupa-
tional or social status, cultural background, social
philosophy, competitive-cooperative orientation,
and other factors in your analysis.
9780190297084_ch05_122-151.indd 122 10/06/16 01:29 PM
Listening
123
CHAPTER OUTLINE
The Value of Listening 125
Misconceptions About Listening 126
Myth 1: Listening and Hearing Are the Same Thing
Myth 2: Listening Is a Natural Process
Myth 3: All Listeners Receive the Same Message
Overcoming Challenges to Effective Listening 129
Reasons for Poor Listening
Faulty Listening Habits
Types of Listening 134
Task-Oriented Listening
Relational Listening
Analytical Listening
Critical Listening
Listening and Social Support 142
Online Social Support
Gender and Social Support
Types of Supportive Responses
When and How to Help
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
5.1
Describe the benefits that follow
from being an effective listener.
5.2
Outline the most common
misconceptions about listening,
and assess how successfully you
avoid them.
5.3
Identify and manage the faulty
habits and challenges that make
effective listening difficult.
5.4
Know when and how to listen
to accomplish a task, enhance
relationships, analyze a message,
and critically evaluate another’s
remarks.
5.5
Use the skills introduced on
pages 142–149 to offer social
support to a friend, partner, or
family member.
5
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IF THE MILLENNIALS HAVE A MUSE, she might just be Erica
Nicole. The social media aficionado launched her first company
at age 25 and quickly became a straight-talking guru for up-and-
coming professionals who don’t play by the old rules.
Nicole is founder and CEO of a social media and marketing com-
pany and the online magazine YFS, which stands for “young, fabu-
lous, and self-employed.” The magazine provides what one observer
calls “fresh, provocative and insanely addictive” advice for young
professionals.1 A common element of that advice is the importance of
being a good listener.
In this chapter, we expose some common misconceptions about
listening and show what really happens when listening takes place.
We’ll discuss some poor listening habits, explain why they occur, and
suggest better alternatives.
“When you’re listening, it shows,” declares Nicole.2 Good listen-
ers have two main advantages, she says: Because they are observant,
they can learn how successful people communicate; and because
they are tuned in, they are often the first to identify emerging needs
and opportunities in the marketplace.
Although Nicole loves social media, she’s quick to point out that
there is no substitute for face-to-face listening. As Nicole puts it,
successful people don’t just hear what others say; they “really, really
listen.”3 That is to say, they refrain from interrupting, and they pay
attention to people’s tone of voice, body language, and other cues as
well as to their words. In an age dominated by social media, listening
is as important as ever.
Really, really listening involves a level of discipline and skill few
people stop to consider and even fewer master. Yet the payoffs are
enormous, as you will see. Masterful listening can help you make
wise decisions, make a positive impression on others, and enrich your
relationships.
Erica Nicole
proposes that one key to
success is to listen well. As
we begin to explore this
topic, ask yourself these
questions:
?
How do you rate yourself as
a listener? How do you think
others rate you?
?
What makes it difficult for
you to listen effectively?
?
How could you use listen-
ing skills to improve your
career success?
The Value of Listening
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125
The Value of
Listening
Imagine you are at a career fair where you have
access to talent scouts and employers who can
help you land the job of your dreams. You
might approach these people with a mental list
of everything you want to say—a description of
your talents, experience, goals, and so on. Or
you might take a different approach and listen.
If you chose the listen-more-than-you
talk option, give yourself a pat on the back.
“Listening is more important than speaking,”
advises a spokesperson for one of the largest
career networks in the United States. In fact
she ranks the importance of listening among
the “top 5 things recruiters wish you knew.”4
(The other four involve dressing appropri-
ately, handling rejection well, being proactive,
and being polite and considerate.)
The need for good listening skills cannot be
overemphasized. In his best-selling book, The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey observes that most people only
pretend to listen while they actually rehearse what they want to say themselves.5
Rare (and highly effective) is the person who listens with the sincere desire to
understand, observes Covey. An impressive body of evidence backs up this claim,
as you will see in the following list of reasons to become a better listener:
1. People with good listening skills are more likely than others to
be hired and promoted.6 As you have already read, experts have found
that job candidates who listen well have an edge over those who talk
most of the time. Listening skills are also important once you get the job.
Because good listeners are typically judged to be appealing and trustwor-
thy,7 they are especially popular with employers and with customers and
clients.8,9
2. Listening is a leadership skill. Leaders who are good listeners typically
have more influence and stronger relationships with team members than less
attentive leaders do.10 In fact, leaders’ listening skills are even more influential
than their talking skills.11
3. Good listeners are not easily fooled. People who listen carefully and weigh
the merits of what they hear are more likely than others to spot what some
researchers call “pseudo-profound bullshit”— statements that sound smart
but are actually misleading or nonsensical.12 Mindful listening (a topic we’ll
discuss more in a moment) is your best defense.
4. Asking for and listening to advice makes you look good. “Many people
are reluctant to seek advice for fear of appearing incompetent,” observes a
research team who studied the issue.13 What they found was the opposite—
that people think more highly of people who ask them for guidance about chal-
lenging issues than those who muddle through on their own. Of course, that’s
just the first step. Making the most of that advice requires good listening skills
and follow-through.
Whether in personal or professional settings, listening is a powerful communication tool.
How would others rate you as a listener? What could you do to improve your rating?
cultural idiom
tuned in: focused, paying attention
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5. Listening makes you a better friend and romantic partner. While you
are getting dressed for an evening out, make sure to clean out your ears, meta-
phorically speaking. Friends and partners who listen well are considered to
be more supportive than those who don’t.14 That probably doesn’t surprise
you, but this may: Listening well on a date can significantly increase your
attractiveness rating.15,16 The caveat is that you can’t pretend to listen. Effective
listeners are sincerely interested and engaged.
Despite the importance of listening, experience shows that much of the lis-
tening we (and others) do is not very effective. We misunderstand others and are
misunderstood in return. We become bored and feign attention while our minds
wander. We engage in a battle of interruptions in which each person fights to
speak without hearing the other’s ideas. Some of this poor listening is inevitable,
perhaps even justified. But in other cases we can be better receivers by learning a
few basic listening skills.
Misconceptions About Listening
In spite of its importance, listening is misunderstood by most people. Because these
misunderstandings so greatly affect our communication, let’s take a look at three
common misconceptions that many communicators hold.
Myth 1: Listening and Hearing Are the Same Thing
Hearing is the process in which sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibra-
tions that are transmitted to the brain. By contrast, listening occurs only when
the brain reconstructs these electrochemical impulses into a representation of the
original sound and then gives them meaning.
We begin hearing sounds around us even before we’re born.17 Barring illness,
injury, or earplugs, hearing can’t be stopped. As one neuroscientist put it,
hearing . . . is easy. You and every other vertebrate that hasn’t suffered some
genetic, developmental or environmental accident have been doing it for hun-
dreds of millions of years. It’s your life line, your alarm system, your way to
escape danger and pass on your genes.18
Although hearing is automatic, listening is another matter. Many times we
hear but do not listen. Sometimes we deliberately tune out unwanted signals—
everything from a neighbor’s lawn mower or the roar of nearby traffic to a friend’s
boring remarks or a boss’s unwanted criticism.
hearing The process wherein sound
waves strike the eardrum and cause
vibrations that are transmitted to the
brain.
listening The process wherein the
brain reconstructs electrochemical
impulses generated by hearing into rep-
resentations of the original sound and
gives them meaning.
Source: © 2003 Zits Partnership Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.
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A closer look at listening, at least the successful variety, shows that it con-
sists of several stages. After hearing, the next stage is attending—the act of
paying attention to a signal. An individual’s needs, wants, desires, and inter-
ests determine what is attended to, or selected, to use the term introduced in
Chapter 2.
The next step in listening is understanding—the process of making sense of a
message. Communication researchers use the term listening fidelity to describe
the degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the mes-
sage sender was attempting to communicate.19 Chapter 4 discussed many of the
ingredients that combine to make understanding possible: a grasp of the syntax of
the language being spoken, semantic decoding, and knowledge of the pragmatic
rules that help you figure out a speaker’s meaning from the context. In addition to
these steps, understanding often depends on the ability and effort people put into
cognitively organizing the information they hear.20 An article in Erica Nicole’s
YFS magazine advises managers to “understand you don’t have all the answers.
The best entrepreneurs know when it is time to shut up and listen to the people
around them.”21
Responding to a message consists of giving observable feedback to the
speaker. Offering feedback serves two important functions: It helps you clarify
your understanding of a speaker’s message, and it shows that you care about what
that speaker is saying.
Listeners don’t always respond visibly to a speaker—but research suggests
that they should. When people are asked to evaluate the listening skills of people
around them, the number-one trait they consider is whether the listener offers
feedback.22 Feedback includes eye contact, appropriate facial expressions, asking
questions and exchanging relevant ideas, sitting up straight, and facing the
speaker. Conversely, it’s easy to see how discouraging it is when audience mem-
bers yawn, slump, or make bored expressions. Adding responsiveness to the lis-
tening model demonstrates the fact, discussed in Chapter 1, that communication
is transactional in nature. Listening isn’t just a passive activity. As listeners, we are
active participants in a communication transaction. While we receive messages,
we also send them. For example, although some people insist they are listening
even when they seem distracted and unresponsive, their demeanor probably puts
a damper on the conversation.
The final step in the listening process is remembering.23 It has
long fascinated scientists that people remember every detail of some
messages but very little of others. For example, you may remember
many specifics about gossip you heard, but you may forget what your
roommate asked you to buy at the store today. By some accounts, on
average, people forget about half of what they hear immediately after
hearing it, suggesting that they did not truly listen to and store the
information.24
Given the amount of information we process every day—from
instructors, friends, social media, TV, and other sources—it’s no
wonder that the residual message (what we remember) is a small frac-
tion of what we hear. However, with effort, we can increase our ability
to remember what is important to us. We’ll explore ways of doing that
later in the chapter.
Myth 2: Listening Is a Natural Process
Another common myth is that listening is like breathing—a natural activ-
ity that people usually do well. The truth is that listening is a skill much
like speaking: Everybody does it, though few people do it well.
attending The process of focusing on
certain stimuli from the environment.
understanding The act of interpret-
ing a message by following syntactic,
semantic, and pragmatic rules.
listening fidelity The degree of con-
gruence between what a listener under-
stands and what the message sender
was attempting to communicate.
responding Providing observable
feedback to another person’s behavior
or speech.
remembering The act of recalling pre-
viously introduced information. Recall
drops off in two phases: short term and
long term.
residual message The part of a mes-
sage a receiver can recall after short- and
long-term memory loss.
The Chinese word ting refers to deep, mindful listening. In its
written form, the word combines the symbols for ears, eyes,
heart, and mind.
Have you ever felt that someone listened to you with an open
mind and heart, attentive to your words and your feelings? How
did you respond?
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In a classic study, 144 managers were asked to rate their listening
skills. Astonishingly, not one of the managers described himself or
herself as a “poor” or “very poor” listener. In fact, 94% rated them-
selves as “good” or “very good.”25 The favorable self-ratings contrasted
sharply with the perceptions of the managers’ subordinates, many of
whom said their boss’s listening skills were weak.
Sometimes it’s okay to be mindless about what we hear. Paying
attention to every song on the radio or commercial on TV would
distract us from more important matters. The problem is being lazy
about listening to things that really matter. For example, a college
student hurt by his girlfriend’s poor listening skills wrote in an
online forum, “I have opened up to her about really, really personal
things and then two weeks later or within the week . . . she’s like,
‘oh, you never mentioned it to me.’ I just find this really really rude
and insulting.”26
Mindful listening involves being fully present with others—
paying close attention to their gestures, manner, and silences, as
well as to what they say.27 It requires a commitment to understand-
ing the other’s perspectives without being judgmental or defensive.
Consistent with the idea of mindful listening, the Chinese concept
of ting describes listening with open ears and eyes as well as an open
mind and open heart.28 This type of listening can be difficult, espe-
cially when we are busy or when we feel vulnerable ourselves, yet the
investment is worthwhile. For more tips on mindful listening, see the
checklist at left.
Myth 3: All Listeners Receive
the Same Message
When two or more people are listening to a speaker, we tend to
assume they all are hearing and understanding the same message. In
fact, such uniform comprehension isn’t the case. Recall the discus-
sion of perception in Chapter 3, in which we pointed out the many
factors that cause each of us to perceive an event differently. Physi-
ological factors, social roles, cultural background, personal interests,
and needs all shape and distort the raw data we hear into uniquely
different messages.
As we have discussed, some poor listening is inevitable. The
good news is that listening can be improved through instruction
and training.29 Despite this fact, the amount of time devoted to
teaching listening is far less than that devoted to other types of com-
munication. Table 5-1 reflects this upside-down arrangement.
TABLE 5-1
Comparison of Communication Activities
LISTENING SPEAKING READING WRITING
LEARNED First Second Third Fourth
USED Most Next to most Next to least Least
TAUGHT Least Next to least Next to most Most
CHECKLIST
Tips for More Mindful
Listening
Mindful listening takes effort, but it pays off
in terms of self-awareness and stronger con-
nections with others. Here are some tips for
becoming a more mindful listener.30,31,32
Commit to being fully present.
Minimize distractions, including extraneous
thoughts and worries.
Listen for underlying messages as well as
surface meanings.
Pay attention to cues about how the speaker
feels.
Mentally acknowledge your own feelings.
(“I’m feeling defensive. I’ll set that aside for
now and try to understand more fully what
this person is sharing with me.”)
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings.
(“Are you feeling discouraged?”)
Ask questions and check your understand-
ing. (“I heard you say that you’re confused. Is
that a good reflection of how you feel? What
are the pros and cons of the situation as you
see them?”)
Be patient. Don’t interrupt.
Become comfortable with silence.
Don’t rush the speaker. The goal is to
understand.
mindful listening Being fully present
with people—paying close attention to
their gestures, manner, and silences, as
well as to what they say.
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Overcoming Challenges
to Effective Listening
Listening well isn’t easy. We’ve all had challenges like these:
• You are binge-watching the long-awaited new season of your favorite TV
drama. A neighbor drops by to warn you about some car break-ins nearby.
You know that the issue is important, but find yourself becoming irritated
at the interruption.
• Over coffee, a friend complains about having a bad day. You want to be sup-
portive, but you are preoccupied with problems of your own, and you need to
get back to work soon to meet a deadline.
• Your boss critiques your work. You think the objections are unfair, and you
feel the need to defend yourself.
• A family member tells the same story you’ve heard dozens of times before.
You feel obliged to act interested, but your mind is far away.
Situations like these reflect the kinds of challenges we face every day, and your
imagined responses probably illustrate some less-than-perfect listening behaviors.
Reasons for Poor Listening
What causes people to listen poorly? There are several reasons, some of which can
be avoided or overcome and others that are sad but inescapable facts of life.
Message Overload The amount of information we hear every day makes care-
ful listening to everything impossible. Along with the deluge of face-to-face
messages, we are bombarded by phone calls, emails, tweets, texts, and instant
messages. Besides those personal messages, we’re awash in programming from
the mass media. This deluge of communication has made the challenge of attend-
ing tougher than at any time in human history.33 Background noise typically
reduces our ability to listen and to concentrate on cognitive tasks.34 The “@Work”
box on page 130 highlights the dangers of multitasking and argues that managing
information overload can lead to better results.
Rapid Thought Listening carefully is also difficult for a physiological reason.
Although we are capable of understanding speech at rates up to 600 words per
minute, the average person speaks between 100 and 140 words per minute.35
Thus, we have a great deal of mental “spare time” to spend while someone is talk-
ing. And the temptation is to use this time in ways that don’t relate to the speaker’s
ideas, such as thinking about personal interests, daydreaming, planning a rebut-
tal, and so on. The trick is to use this spare time to understand the speaker’s ideas
better rather than to let your attention wander. Try to rephrase the speaker’s ideas
in your own words. Ask yourself how the ideas might be useful to you. Consider
other angles that the speaker might not have mentioned.
Psychological Noise Another reason why we don’t always listen carefully is that
we’re often wrapped up in personal concerns that are of more immediate impor-
tance to us than the messages others are sending. It’s hard to pay attention to
someone else when you’re anticipating an upcoming test or thinking about the
wonderful time you had last night with good friends. Yet we still feel we have to
“listen” politely to others, and so we continue with our charade. It usually takes
a conscious effort to set aside your personal concerns if you expect to give others’
messages the attention they deserve.
ASK YOURSELF
Which challenges
to effective listening
affect you the most?
?
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Figure 5-1 illustrates four ways in which preoccupied listeners lose focus when
distracted by psychological noise. Everyone’s mind wanders at one time or another,
but excessive preoccupation is both a reason for and a sign of poor listening.
Physical Noise The world in which we live often presents distractions that make
it hard to pay attention to others. The sound of traffic, music, others’ speech, and
the like interfere with our ability to hear well. Also, fatigue or other forms of dis-
comfort can distract us from paying attention to a speaker’s remarks. Consider, for
example, how the efficiency of your listening decreases when you are seated in a
crowded, hot, stuffy room that is surrounded by traffic and other noises. In such
circumstances even the best intentions aren’t enough to ensure clear understand-
ing. You can often listen better by insulating yourself from outside distractions.
This may involve removing the sources of noise: turning off the television, shut-
ting the book you were reading, closing the window, and so on. In some cases,
you and the speaker may need to find a more hospitable place to speak in order to
make listening work.
Hearing Problems Sometimes a person’s listening ability suffers from a hearing
problem—the most obvious sort of physiological noise, as defined in Chapter 1.
@WORK
Multitasking Can Make You Stupid
Multitasking may be a fact of life on the job, but research
suggests that dividing your attention has its costs. In one
widely reported study, volunteers tried to carry out various
problem-solving tasks while being deluged with phone calls
and emails.36 Even though experimenters told the subjects
to ignore these distractions, the average performance drop
was equivalent to a 10-point decline in IQ. In other words,
trying to work on a task while receiving messages about
another matter can make you stupid.
You might expect that greater exposure to multiple mes-
sages would improve multitasking performance, but just the
opposite seems to be the case. Heavy media multitaskers
perform worse on task switching than light media multitask-
ers.37 Although chronic multitaskers believe they are com-
petent at processing information, in fact they’re worse than
those who focus more on a single medium.38
You may not be able to escape multiple demands at work,
but don’t hold any illusions about the cost of information
overload. When the matter at hand is truly important, the
most effective approach may be to turn off the phone, close
down the email program or browser, and devote your atten-
tion to the single task before you.
Source: DILBERT © 2009 Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.
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ASK YOURSELF
In one of your most
important relation-
ships, which bad listen-
ing habits do you find
most annoying? What
would the other person
say were your most
annoying listening
faults?
?
Listener’s small departures
Tangent
Private argument
Large departures
(Usually most productive)
Line of communication
Line of communication
Line of communication
Line of communication
FIGURE 5-1 Four thought patterns. It’s common for attention to stray when listening. Serious
problems arise when we begin thinking about unrelated topics or constructing rebuttals.
One survey explored the feelings of adults who have spouses with hearing
loss. Nearly two thirds of the respondents said they feel annoyed when their
partner can’t hear them clearly. Almost a quarter said that beyond just being
annoyed, they felt ignored, hurt, or sad. Many of the respondents believe their
spouses are in denial about their condition, which makes the problem even more
frustrating.39
Older people aren’t the only ones affected. The number of young people with
hearing loss is on the rise, in part because of earbuds and similar technology that
make it possible to blast our eardrums with dangerously loud noise.40 Medical
experts have found that 1 in 8 children and teens and almost 1 in 5 adults have
suffered permanent damage to their hearing from excessive exposure to noise.41
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Cultural Differences The behaviors that define a good listener
vary by culture. Americans are most impressed by listeners who ask
questions and make supportive statements.42 By contrast, Iranians
tend to judge people’s listening skills based on more subtle indica-
tors such as their posture and eye contact. This is probably because
the Iranian culture relies more on context.43 (As you may remember
from Chapter 3, members of high-context cultures are particularly
attentive and sensitive to nonverbal cues.) Germans are most likely
to think someone a good listener if he or she shows continuous atten-
tion to the speaker.44 One lesson is that, whereas people in some cul-
tures may overlook a quick glance at a cell phone or TV screen, others
may interpret that behavior as rudely inattentive.
Media Influences A final challenge to serious listening is the influ-
ence of contemporary mass media, especially television and radio.
Programming often consists of short segments: news items, commer-
cials, music videos, and so on. This discourages the kind of focused
attention that is necessary for careful listening, especially to compli-
cated ideas and feelings.
Faulty Listening Habits
Compounding these barriers to listening, we may have faulty listen-
ing habits. Although we can’t listen effectively all the time, most of
us possess one or more habits that keep us from understanding truly
important messages.
1. We pretend to listen. Pseudolistening is an imitation of the
real thing. When people pseudolisten, they give the appear-
ance of being attentive: They look you in the eye, nod and
smile at the right times, and may even answer occasionally.
That appearance of interest, however, is a polite facade to mask
thoughts that have nothing to do with what the speaker is
saying.
2. We tune in and out. Selective listeners respond only to the
parts of a speaker’s remarks that interest them. All of us are selec-
tive listeners from time to time, but it’s a habit that can lead to
confusion, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.
3. We defend ourselves. Defensive listeners perceive that they
are being attacked even when they aren’t. As a result, they are
more interested in justifying themselves than in understand-
ing how the other person feels. Feelings of guilt or insecurity
are often at the root of defensive listening, with the effect that
casual remarks may be taken as insults (“How dare you ask me
if I enjoyed lunch? It’s my business and no one else’s if I cheat on my
diet!”).
A common defensive response is counterattacking, or even
ambushing the perceived critic by listening to find faults for
later reference. This approach comes in handy for attorneys
who are cross-examining witnesses, but in everyday life, it’s
not likely to make you a lot of friends. Instead of proving your
point, you will probably cause the other person to feel defensive
and angry.
At the other end of the spectrum, nondefensive listeners
are sincerely interested in understanding the other person’s
CHECKLIST
Techniques for Listening
Nondefensively
It’s natural to feel uncomfortable when the
boss wants to talk about the deadline you
missed or when your roommate is upset
because you left a mess. However, nondefen-
sive listeners resist the impulse to fight back.
Here are some tips for listening nondefensively,
even when the heat is on.45,46
Take a deep breath and remind yourself that
you are a likable person.
Avoid berating yourself with negative self-
talk such as “That was such a dumb mistake”
and “This person will never forgive me.”
Let go of the idea that you (or anyone) can
be perfect.
Listen with an open mind.
Thank the speaker for sharing his or her con-
cerns with you.
Accept that the other person’s feelings are
real, even if his or her interpretation is differ-
ent from yours.
Ask questions. (“Did you feel that I was taking
you for granted when you saw my dishes in the
sink?”)
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. (“I
can understand why you were disappointed.”)
Avoid displaying nonverbal cues—such as
eye rolls and heavy sighs—that seem defen-
sive or dismissive.
Use “I” language to express your feelings.
(“I wanted to edit the report one more time. I
didn’t realize the delay would be so costly.”)
If warranted, apologize for your behavior.
Learn from the encounter and move on. And
at the very least, congratulate yourself for
handling a difficult situation with sincerity
and openness.
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perspective, even when the topic makes them uncomfortable. See the check-
list on the previous page for tips on listening nondefensively.
4. We avoid the issue. Insulated listeners tend to avoid difficult subjects. If
you find yourself tuning out when a subject arises that you’d rather not deal
with, you might be guilty of this habit.
5. We miss the underlying point. Insensitive listeners tend to take remarks
at face value rather than looking below the surface. An insensitive listener
might miss the warble in a friend’s voice that suggests she is more upset than
her words let on. Or when her partner complains, “I always take out the trash,”
she might miss that what’s wanted is a thank-you.
6. We tend to be self-centered. The next time you’re engaged in conversa-
tion, consider who has control. Conversational narcissists focus on
themselves and their interests instead of listening to and encouraging
others.47 One type of conversational narcissist is the stage hog, who
actively claims more than his or her fair share of the spotlight. Stage
hogs tend to interrupt a lot and switch topics to suit their interests. They
may assume that their ideas are better or more important than others’ or
that they can guess what other people are going to say.48 Other conversa-
tional narcissists are more passive. They may not interrupt, but neither
do they encourage others. A passive narcissist is unlikely to make sup-
portive comments such as “Uh-huh,” “That’s funny,” and “What happened
next?”49 Whatever their approach, conversational narcissists tend to dis-
courage the equal give-and-take that is the hallmark of mutually satisfy-
ing conversation.
7. We assume that talking is more impressive than listening. The key to
success sometimes seems to be speaking well, but good listening skills are
just as important. There is no calculating the esteem and wisdom people
earn by listening well rather than talking all the time. As the playwright
Wilson Mizner once observed, “a good listener is not only popular every-
where, but after a while he [or she] gets to know something.”50
You may feel stunned by the egotism behind many of these bad habits but still
feel tempted to engage in them sometimes. Focusing on oneself and dismissing
others’ ideas outright may be justified in rare situations, but it’s usually a mistake
to rule out what others say. Next, we explore some of the main types of listening,
discussing contexts when each is most appropriate.
pseudolistening An imitation of true
listening.
selective listening A listening style
in which the receiver responds only to
messages that interest him or her.
defensive listening A response style
in which the receiver perceives a speak-
er’s comments as an attack.
ambushing A style in which the
receiver listens carefully to gather infor-
mation to use in an attack on the speaker.
insulated listening A style in which
the receiver ignores undesirable
information.
insensitive listening The failure to
recognize the thoughts or feelings that
are not directly expressed by a speaker,
and instead accepting the speaker’s
words at face value.
conversational narcissists People
who focus on themselves and their inter-
ests instead of listening to and encour-
aging others.
stage hogs People who are overly
invested in being the center of attention.
cultural idioms
at face value: literally
rule out: fail to considerSource: CALVIN and HOBBES © 1995 Watterson. Reprinted by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.
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Types of Listening
By now you can see that listening well isn’t easy. As you’ll read
in the following pages, listening serves a number of goals. To
see which of these are generally most important to you, take the
Self-Assessment above before reading further. Each category in
the instrument reflects a distinct reason for listening. What did
you learn about your own goals for listening from your scores?
Task-Oriented Listening
The goal of task-oriented listening is to secure information
necessary to get a job done. The situations that call for task-ori-
ented listening are endless and varied: following an instructor’s
comments in class, hearing a description of a new piece of mer-
chandise or software that you’re thinking about buying, getting
tips from a coach on how to improve your athletic skill, taking
directions from your boss—the list goes on and on.
Task-oriented listening is most concerned with efficiency.
Task-oriented listeners view time as a scarce and valuable com-
modity, and they can grow impatient when they think others
are wasting it.
A task orientation can be an asset when deadlines and
other pressures demand fast action. It’s most appropriate when
taking care of business is the primary concern: Such listeners keep a focus on the
job at hand and encourage others to be organized and concise.
Despite its advantages, a task orientation can put off others when it seems
to disregard their feelings. A no-nonsense task-oriented approach isn’t always
cultural idiom
put off: displease
What Is Your Listening Style?
To discover your listening tendencies, fill in the survey below. Use 1 as “strongly disagree” and 7 as “strongly agree.” The
section(s) where you marked higher numbers (5, 6, or 7) suggest types of listening that you value. For tips on listening effec-
tively within each of these styles, see pages 134–141.
Task-Oriented Listening
I am impatient with people who ramble on and on during
conversations. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I get frustrated when people get off topic during a
conversation. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I prefer speakers who quickly get to the point. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Relational Listening
I listen to understand the emotions and mood of the speaker. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I listen primarily to build and maintain relationships with others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I enjoy listening to others because it allows me to connect with
them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
Listening is arguably the most underappreciated tool for career
success.
How could you enhance your career by listening better?
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appreciated by speakers who—by virtue of culture or temperament—lack the skill
or inclination to be clear and direct. Also, an excessive focus on getting things
done quickly can hamper the kind of thoughtful deliberation that some jobs
require. Finally, task-oriented listeners seem to minimize emotional issues and
concerns, which may be an important part of business and personal transactions.
You can become more effective as an informational listener by approaching
others with a constructive attitude and by using some simple but effective skills.
When task-oriented listening is appropriate, the following guidelines will help
you be more effective.
Look for Key Ideas It’s easy to lose patience with long-winded speakers who never
seem to get to the point—or to have a point, for that matter. Nonetheless, most
people do have a central idea in what they say, or what we will call a thesis in Chapter
11. By using your ability to think more quickly than the speaker can talk, you may
be able to extract the thesis from the surrounding mass of words you’re hearing. If
you can’t figure out what the speaker is driving at, you can always ask in a tactful
way by using the skills of questioning and paraphrasing, which we examine now.
Ask Questions If you are heading to a friend’s house for the first time, typical
questions might be, “How is the traffic between here and there?” or “Is there any-
thing you’d like me to bring?” In more emotional situations, questions could include,
“Why do you think that bothers you so much?” or “You sound upset—is there something
wrong?” Questioning involves asking for additional information to clarify your
idea of the sender’s message. One key element of these types of questions is that
they ask the speaker to elaborate.
Not all questions are equally helpful, however. Whereas sincere questions
are aimed at understanding others, counterfeit questions are not; they are often
disguised attempts to send a message.
cultural idiom
long-winded: speaking for a long
time
task-oriented listening A listening
style that is primarily concerned with
accomplishing the task at hand.
questioning An approach in which the
receiver overtly seeks additional infor-
mation from the sender.
sincere question A question posed
with the genuine desire to learn from
another person.
counterfeit question A question
that is not truly a request for new
information.
Analytical Listening
I tend to withhold judgment about another’s ideas until I have
heard everything he or she has to say. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
When listening to others, I consider all sides of the issue before
responding. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I fully listen to what a person has to say before forming any
opinions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Critical Listening
I often catch errors in other speakers’ logic. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
I tend to naturally notice errors in what other speakers say. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
When listening to others, I notice contradictions in what they
say. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Adapted with the authors’ permission from Bodie, G. D., Worthington, D. L., & Gearhart, C. G. (2013). The Revised
Listening Styles Profile (LSP–R): Development and validation. Communication Quarterly, 61, 72–90.
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Counterfeit questions come in several varieties:
• Questions that make statements. “Are you finally
ready to go now?” “You can’t be serious about
that, right?” Comments like these are cer-
tainly not genuine requests for information.
Emphasizing certain words can also turn a
question into a statement: “You lent money to
Tony?” We also use questions to offer advice.
The person who responds with “Are you going
to stand up to him and give him what he
deserves?” clearly has stated an opinion about
what should be done.
• Questions that carry hidden agendas. “Are you
busy Friday night?” is a dangerous question to
answer. If you say, “No,” thinking the person
has something fun in mind, you won’t like
hearing, “Good, because I need some help
moving my piano.”
• Questions that seek “correct” answers. Most of us have been victims of
question-askers who only want to hear a particular response. “Which shoes
do you think I should wear?”
can be a sincere question—unless the asker has a predetermined prefer-
ence. When this happens, the asker isn’t interested in listening to contrary
opinions, and “incorrect” responses get shot down. Some of these ques-
tions may venture into delicate territory. “Honey, do you think I look ugly?”
is probably a request for a “correct” answer.
• Questions that are based on unchecked assumptions. “Why aren’t you listening to
me?” assumes the other person isn’t paying attention. “What’s the matter?”
assumes that something is wrong. As Chapter 2 explains, perception checking
is a much better strategy: “When you kept looking over at the TV, I thought you
weren’t listening to me, but maybe I was wrong. Were you paying attention?”
Paraphrase Sincere questioning is often a valuable tool for increasing under-
standing. Sometimes, however, you need to take another step. Now consider
another type of feedback—one that would help you confirm your understand-
ing. This sort of feedback, termed paraphrasing, involves restating in your
own words the message you thought the speaker had just sent. For example:
(To a direction giver) “You’re telling me to drive down to the traffic light by the
high school and turn toward the mountains, is that it?”
(To the boss) “So you need me both this Saturday and next Saturday—right?”
(To a professor) “When you said, ‘Don’t worry about the low grade on the quiz,’
did you mean it won’t count against my grade?”
In other cases, a paraphrase will reflect your understanding of the speaker’s feelings:
“You said, ‘I’ve had it with this relationship!’ Are you angry or relieved that
it’s over?”
“You said you’ve got a minute to talk, but I’m not sure whether it’s a good time
for you.”
“You said, ‘Forget it,’ but it sounds like you’re mad. Are you?”
In each case, the key to success is to restate the other person’s comments in
your own words as a way of cross-checking the information. If you simply repeat
the speaker’s comments verbatim, you will sound foolish—and you still might be
paraphrasing Feedback in which the
receiver rewords the speaker’s thoughts
and feelings.
cultural idioms
stand up to: to confront courageously
shot down: rejected or defeated
Source: Courtesy of Ted Goff
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misunderstanding what has been said and why. Notice the difference
between simply parroting (repeating without understanding) a state-
ment and really paraphrasing:
Speaker: I’d like to go, but I can’t afford it.
Parroting: You’d like to go, but you can’t afford it.
Paraphrasing: So if we could find a way to pay for you, you’d be willing
to come. Is that right?
Speaker: What’s the matter with you?
Parroting: You think there’s something wrong with me?
Paraphrasing: You think I’m mad at you?
As these examples suggest, effective paraphrasing is a skill that
takes time to develop. (See the checklist at right for paraphrasing
approaches.) It can be worth the effort, however, because it offers two
very real advantages:
• First, it boosts the odds that you’ll accurately and fully under-
stand what others are saying. We’ve already seen that using one-
way listening or even asking questions may lead you to think
that you’ve understood a speaker when, in fact, you haven’t.
Paraphrasing, on the other hand, serves as a way of double-
checking your interpretation for accuracy.
• Second, paraphrasing guides you toward sincerely trying to
understand another person instead of using nonlistening styles
such as stage hogging, selective listening, and so on. Listeners
who paraphrase to check their understanding are judged to be
more socially attractive than listeners who do not.51
Take Notes Understanding others is crucial, of course, but it doesn’t
guarantee remembering. As you read earlier in this chapter, listeners
usually forget about half of what they hear immediately afterward.
Sometimes recall isn’t especially important. You don’t need to
retain many details of the vacation adventures recounted by a neigh-
bor or the childhood stories told by a relative. At other times, though,
remembering a message—even minute details—is important. The
lectures you hear in class are an obvious example. Likewise, it can be
important to remember the details of plans that involve you: the time
of a future appointment, the name of a phone caller whose message
you took, or the orders given by your boss at work.
At times like these it’s smart to take notes instead of relying on
your memory. Sometimes these notes may be simple and brief: a
name and phone number jotted on a scrap of paper, or a list of things
to pick up at the market. In other cases—a lecture, for example—your
notes need to be much longer. See the checklist on the next page for
note-taking strategies when the details are essential.
Relational Listening
The goal of relational listening is to emotionally connect with others.
Relationally oriented listeners are typically perceived to be extroverted,
attentive, and friendly. They are more focused on understanding people
than on trying to control them.52
A relational orientation has obvious strengths. But it has some less
obvious drawbacks. It’s easy to become overly involved with others’
feelings. Relational listeners may lose their detachment and ability
CHECKLIST
Three Ways to
Paraphrase
You can make your paraphrasing sound more
natural by taking any of three approaches,
depending on the situation:
Change the speaker’s wording.
Speaker: Bilingual education is just another
failed idea.
Paraphrase: You’re mad because you think
bilingual ed sounds good, but it doesn’t
work? (Reflects both the speaker’s feeling and
the reason for it.)
Offer an example of what you think
the speaker is talking about. When the
speaker makes an abstract statement, you
may suggest a specific example or two to
see if your understanding is accurate.
Speaker: Lee is such a jerk. I can’t believe
the way he acted last night.
Paraphrase: You think those jokes were
pretty offensive, huh? (Reflects the listener’s
guess about the speaker’s reason for objecting
to the behavior.)
Reflect on the underlying theme of the
speaker’s remarks. When you want to
summarize the theme that seems to have
run through another person’s conversation,
a complete or partial perception check is
appropriate.
Speaker: Remember to lock the door.
Paraphrase: You keep reminding me to be
careful. It sounds like you’re worried that
something bad might happen. Am I right?
(Reflects the speaker’s thoughts and feelings
and explicitly seeks clarification.)
relational listening A listening style that is driven
primarily by the concern to build emotional close-
ness with the speaker.
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to assess the quality of information others are giving in an effort to
be congenial and supportive.53 Less relationally oriented communica-
tors can view them as overly expressive, and even intrusive. Here are
some strategies for being an effective relational listener.
Take Time The goal of task-oriented listening is efficiency, but rela-
tional listening couldn’t be more different. Encouraging others to
share their thoughts and feelings can take time. If you’re in a hurry,
it may be best to reschedule relationally focused conversations for a
better time. The gift of attention often speaks for itself, even when
you don’t know what to say. Medical studies show that, even when
doctors cannot cure patients, patients’ coping skills are positively
linked to the amount of time their doctors spend listening to them.54
In some situations, even brief interactions may have relational
dimensions. To a harassed customer service rep you might sympa-
thetically say, “Busy day, huh?” Or, you might thank an especially
patient salesperson by saying, “I really appreciate you taking time to
explain this so patiently.”
Listen for Unexpressed Thoughts and Feelings People often don’t
say what’s on their minds or in their hearts. There are lots of reasons
why: Tact, confusion, lack of awareness, fear of being judged nega-
tively . . . the list is a long one.
When relationship building is the goal, it can be valuable to listen
for unexpressed messages. Consider a few examples:
STATEMENT POSSIBLE UNEXPRESSED MESSAGE
“Don’t apologize. It’s not a big
deal.”
“I’m angry (or hurt, disap-
pointed) by what you did.”
“You’re going clubbing tonight?
That sounds like fun!
“I’d like to come along.”
“Check out this news story.
That’s my little sister!”
“I’m proud of what she did.”
“That was quite a party you
[neighbors] had last night. You
were going strong at 2 A.M.”
“The noise bothered me.”
“You like gaming? I do too!” “Perhaps we can be friends.”
There are several ways to explore unexpressed messages. You can
ask questions using the guidelines described on pages 135–136: “How
did you feel when he said that?” “Is there something I can do to help?” You
can paraphrase, as described on pages 136–137: “Sounds like that really
surprised you,” or “So you aren’t sure what to do next, right?” Or, as you’ll
read in a few pages, you can prompt the speaker to volunteer more
information: “Really?” “Is that right?” You’ll read more about listening
as a form of social support later in this chapter.
When you consider exploring unexpressed feelings and thoughts,
be careful not to pry. Proceed carefully, and phrase your hunches ten-
tatively. For more advice, review the description of perception check-
ing on pages 54 and 55 in Chapter 2.
Encourage Further Comments Even if you don’t explore unex-
pressed messages, you can strengthen relationships simply by encour-
aging others to say more. Even if you’re not a stage hog, it’s easy to
CHECKLIST
Taking Detailed Notes
When the details are crucial, a few simple
points will help make your note-taking efforts
more effective:
Don’t wait too long before beginning
to jot down ideas. If you don’t realize that
you need to take notes until 5 minutes into
a conversation, you’re likely to forget much
of what has been said and miss out on other
information as you scramble to catch up.
Record only key ideas. Don’t try to capture
every word of long messages. If you can pin
down the most important points, your notes
will be easier to follow and much more useful.
Develop a note-taking format. The exact
form you choose isn’t important. Some
people use a formal outlining scheme with
headings designated by roman numer-
als, letters, and numbers, whereas others
use simple lists. You might come up with
useful symbols: boxes around key names
and numbers or asterisks next to especially
important information. After you develop a
consistent format, your notes will help you
not only remember information but struc-
ture ideas in a way that’s useful to you.
cultural idioms
scramble to catch up: work hard to
reach a goal, especially after a period
of delay
pin down: identify specifically
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redirect a conversation back to yourself. Instead, try a simple
experiment to prove the value of focusing on the speaker. In
your next conversation, focus on drawing out the other person.
If you express a sincere desire to learn more, you’re likely to
be surprised by the positive results. The speaker may be grate-
ful that you have helped him or her work through a problem,
when all you have really done is listen and ask questions. Great
teachers harness this power regularly. They know that students
often learn more when they are asked questions and encour-
aged to work through problems than when they are given the
answers up front.55
Analytical Listening
Whereas relational listening may enhance relationships, the
goal of analytical listening is to understand the message. Ana-
lytical listeners explore an issue from a variety of perspectives in
order to understand it as fully as possible.
Analytical listening is a good approach when your goal is to
assess the quality of ideas, and when there is value in looking at
issues from a wide range of perspectives. It’s especially valuable
when the issues at hand are complicated. On the other hand,
a thorough analytical approach can be time consuming. So when a deadline is
approaching, you may not respond as quickly as the other person would like.
When you want to listen analytically, follow these steps.
Listen for Information Before Evaluating The principle of listening for infor-
mation before evaluating seems almost too obvious to mention, yet all of us are
guilty of judging a speaker’s ideas before we completely understand them. The
tendency to make premature judgments is especially strong when the idea you are
hearing conflicts with your own beliefs. As one writer put it,
the right to speak is meaningless if no one will listen. . . . It is simply not enough
that we reject censorship . . . we have an affirmative responsibility to hear the
argument before we disagree with it.56
You can avoid the tendency to judge before understanding by following the
simple rule of paraphrasing a speaker’s ideas before responding to them. The
effort required to translate the other person’s ideas into your own words will
keep you from arguing, and if your interpretation is mistaken, you’ll know
immediately.
Separate the Message from the Speaker The first recorded cases of blaming
the messenger for an unpleasant message occurred in ancient Greece. When
messengers reported losses in battles, their generals sometimes responded to
the bad news by having the messengers put to death. This sort of irrational
reaction is still common (though fortunately less violent) today. Consider a
few situations in which there is a tendency to get angry with a communicator
bearing unpleasant news: An instructor tries to explain why you did poorly
on a major paper; a friend explains what you did to make a fool of yourself
at the party last Saturday night; the boss points out how you could do your
job better. At times like this, becoming irritated with the bearer of unpleasant
information may not only cause you to miss important information but also
harm your relationships.
There’s a second way that confusing the message and the messenger can pre-
vent you from understanding important ideas. At times you may mistakenly
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
How Carefully Should You
Listen?
How much adaptation is ethical? How
far would you go to be effective with an
audience?
• What responsibility do communicators
have to listen as carefully and thoughtfully
as possible?
• Are there ever cases in which we are
justified in our faulty listening habits?
• Is it dishonest to fake careful listening?
Comforting is one response to another’s pain, but it isn’t always the
best way to help.
What are your common styles of relational listening? How successful
are they? What other styles could you use for better results?
analytical listening Listening in
which the primary goal is to fully
understand the message, prior to any
evaluation.
news:An
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discount the value of a message because of the person who is present-
ing it. Even the most boring instructors, the most idiotic relatives, and
the most demanding bosses occasionally make good points. If you
write off everything a person says before you consider it, you may be
cheating yourself out of some valuable information.
Search for Value Even if you listen with an open mind, sooner or
later you will end up hearing information that is either so unim-
portant or so badly delivered that you’re tempted to tune out.
Although making a quick escape from such tedious situations is
sometimes the best thing to do, there are times when you can profit
from paying close attention to apparently worthless communica-
tion. This is especially true when you’re trapped in a situation in
which the only alternatives to attentiveness are pseudolistening or
downright rudeness.
Once you try, you probably can find some value in even the worst
situations. Consider how you might listen opportunistically when
you find yourself locked in a boring conversation with someone
whose ideas are worthless. Rather than torture yourself until escape is
possible, you could keep yourself amused—and perhaps learn some-
thing useful—by listening carefully until you can answer the follow-
ing (unspoken) questions:
“Is there anything useful in what this person is saying?”
“What led the speaker to come up with ideas like these?”
“What lessons can I learn from this person that will keep me from
sounding the same way in other situations?”
Listening with a constructive attitude is important, but even the
best intentions won’t always help you understand others. The follow-
ing skills can help you figure out messages that otherwise might be
confusing, as well as help you see how those messages can make a
difference in your life.
Critical Listening
The goal of critical listening is to go beyond trying to understand
and analyze the topic at hand, and instead, to assess its quality. At
their best, critical listeners apply the tools of analytical listening to see
whether an idea holds up under careful scrutiny.
Critical listening can be especially helpful when the goal is
to investigate a problem. But people who are critical listeners can
also frustrate others, who may think that they nitpick everything
people say.
When critical listening is appropriate, follow these guidelines.
Examine the Speaker’s Evidence and Reasoning Speakers usually
offer some kind of support to back up their statements. A car dealer
who argues that domestic cars are just as reliable as imports might
cite frequency-of-repair statistics from Consumer Reports or refer you
to satisfied customers, for example; and a professor arguing that stu-
dents don’t work as hard as they used to might tell stories about then
and now to back up the thesis.
Chapter 12 describes several types of supporting material that
can be used to prove a point: definitions, descriptions, analogies,
critical listening Listening in which the goal is
to evaluate the quality or accuracy of the speaker’s
remarks.
CHECKLIST
Evaluating a Speaker’s
Message
Whatever form of support a speaker uses, you
can ask several questions to determine the
quality of the evidence and reasoning:57
Is the evidence recent enough? In many
cases, old evidence is worthless. Before you
accept even the most credible evidence, be
sure it isn’t obsolete.
Is enough evidence presented? One or
two pieces of support may be exceptions
and not conclusive evidence. Be careful not
to generalize from limited evidence.
Is the evidence from a reliable source?
Even a large amount of recent evidence may
be worthless if the source is weak.
Can the evidence be interpreted in more
than one way? Evidence that supports one
claim might also support others. Alternative
explanations don’t necessarily mean that the
one being argued is wrong, but they do raise
questions that need to be answered before
you accept an argument.
cultural idioms
write off: dismiss as worthless or
unimportant
tune out: not listen
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statistics, and so on. See the checklist on page 140 for ques-
tions to consider when evaluating a speaker’s message.
Besides taking a close look at the evidence a speaker
presents, a critical listener will also look at how that evi-
dence is put together to prove a point. Logicians have iden-
tified a number of logical fallacies—errors in reasoning
that can lead to false conclusions. In fact, logicians have
identified more than 200 fallacies.58 Chapter 14 identifies
some of the most common ones.
Evaluate the Speaker’s Credibility The acceptability
of an idea often depends on its source. If your longtime
family friend, the self-made millionaire, invited you to
invest your life savings in jojoba fruit futures, you might
be grateful for the tip. If your deadbeat brother-in-law
made the same offer, you would probably laugh off the
suggestion.
Chapter 14 discusses credibility in detail, but two questions provide a quick
guideline for deciding whether or not to accept a speaker as an authority:
• Is the speaker competent? Does the speaker have the experience or the exper-
tise to qualify as an authority on this subject? Note that someone who
is knowledgeable in one area may not be well qualified to comment in
another area. For instance, your friend who can answer any question about
computer programming might be a terrible advisor when the subject turns
to romance.
• Is the speaker impartial? Knowledge alone isn’t enough to certify a speaker’s
ideas as acceptable. People who have a personal stake in the outcome of a
topic are more likely to be biased. The unqualified praise a commission-
earning salesperson gives a product may be more suspect than the mixed
review you get from a user. This doesn’t mean you should disregard any
comments you hear from an involved party—only that you should con-
sider the possibility of intentional or unintentional bias.
Examine Emotional Appeals Sometimes emotion alone may be enough
reason to persuade you. You might lend your friend $20 just for old times’ sake
even though you don’t expect to see the money again soon. In other cases, it’s
a mistake to let yourself be swayed by emotion when the logic of a point isn’t
sound. The excitement or fun in an ad or the lure of low monthly payments
probably isn’t good enough reason to buy a product you can’t afford. Again,
the fallacies described in Chapter 14 will help you recognize flaws in emo-
tional appeals.
As you read about task-oriented, relational, analytical, and critical
approaches to listening, you may have noted that you habitually use some more
than others. Researchers are still trying to determine how much we rely on dif-
ferent approaches—and how much we should.59 There’s no question that you
can control the way you listen to and use the styles that best suit the situa-
tion at hand. When your relationship with the speaker needs attention, adopt
a relational approach. When clarity is the issue, be an action-oriented listener.
If analysis is called for, put on that style. And when efficiency is what matters
most, become a model of task-oriented orientation. You can also boost your
effectiveness by assessing the listening preferences of your conversational part-
ners and adapting your style to them.
Audiences may be enthralled by the
rhetoric in political campaigns. But
careful listening is essential to sorting out
truths and evaluating candidates’ logic.
How can you apply critical thinking to
political discourse?
cultural idiom
laugh off: dismiss with a laugh
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Listening and Social Support
There’s another type of listening and responding that might involve any of the
approaches just described. In supportive listening, the primary aim is to help the
speaker deal with personal dilemmas. Sometimes the problem is a big one: “I’m not
sure this marriage is going to work” or “I can’t decide whether to drop out of school.” At
other times the problem is more modest. A friend might be trying to decide what
birthday gift to buy or where to spend a vacation. Supportive listeners are typically
judged to be optimistic, honest, understanding, and encouraging.60
Blogger Sarah Q remembers an unexpected source of support when she was being
bullied in high school. “There were rumors and awful things said about me,” she
recalls. Her English teacher, Ms. Hodge, noticed Sarah’s distress and began spend-
ing lunch periods with her. “I told her everything,” Sarah says. “She knew what
was going on, and she helped me through it all. . . . She sat there and listened. And
I needed that.” Sarah has since transferred to a different school where she has good
friends, but she says she will always be grateful to the teacher who truly listened.61
There’s no question about the value of receiving support when faced with
personal problems. Research shows that supportive communication can reduce
loneliness and stress and build self-esteem.62 There is even evidence that people
with good support networks tend to live longer than others.63 And the benefits
go both ways. People who provide social support often feel an enhanced sense of
well-being themselves.64
Online Social Support
Traditionally, most social support came from personal acquaintances: friends,
family, coworkers, neighbors, and so on. However, in online communities, strang-
ers can share interests and concerns and potentially gain support from one another.
People who read Sarah Q’s online tribute to Ms. Hodge posted comments such
as “Thanks for sharing,” “I love you Sarah!,” and “Awesome article! We’re so glad
you’re at our school now.”65
Some online groups offer specialized support. Areas of focus include addic-
tion, Asperger’s syndrome, codependency, debt problems, domestic violence,
eating disorders, gambling, infertility, miscarriage, sexual abuse, and suicide, to
name just a few.66
In some aspects, online help is similar to the face-to-face variety. The goals are
to gain information and emotional support. In other ways, it differs.67 The most
obvious difference is that many members of online communities have not met in
person and may not even know each other’s real names. This anonymity may be
a plus in that it enables people to feel comfortable opening up, but it can also be
a drawback, particularly if people are not supportive. The social networking site
Reddit has been criticized for allowing users to post racist, sexist, and homopho-
bic jokes and comments anonymously. Because they cannot be identified, some
people may be more likely to say things online that they wouldn’t say in person.
One difference between in-person and virtual support groups is that online
groups often focus specifically on a single issue, whereas in traditional relation-
ships, people are likely to cover a wide range of topics. Another difference involves
the rate and amount of self-disclosure: In traditional relationships, people usu-
ally reveal personal information slowly and carefully, but with the anonymity of
online support groups, they typically open up almost immediately.
Gender and Social Support
Men and women have traditionally defined supportive communication somewhat
differently. Linguist Deborah Tannen, who is famous for her research about gender
and communication, offers the example of telling one’s troubles to another person.
supportive listening The reception
approach to use when others seek help
for personal dilemmas.
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When women share their troubles with other women, Tannen says, the response
is often a matching “me too” disclosure. For example, a woman might say, “I under-
stand. My partner never remembers my birthday!” Such a response is usually under-
stood between women as a sign of their connectedness and solidarity. Indeed,
women may even dig deep to find a matching experience or emotion to share,71
which is one reason that happiness (as well as dissatisfaction) often feels contagious.
Men have traditionally been socialized to focus less on emotional connec-
tion and more on competition and emotional control. Consequently, if a woman
responds to a man’s troubles talk with a matching experience, it may feel to him
like a one-up, as if she is implying “your problems are not so remarkable” or “mine
are even worse.” In short, what feels like empathy to her may feel like a put-down
to him. And because men are often discouraged from expressing intense emo-
tions, they may consider it supportive to offer a solution or a distraction such as
“Don’t worry about it” or “Here’s what you should do . . .” As you might predict, women
who are accustomed to a different style of social support may feel that men who
respond this way are brushing off their concerns or belittling their problems.
The result of these different perspectives, Tannen observes, is often a mutual
sense of frustration:
She blames him for telling her what to do and failing to provide the expected
comfort, whereas he thinks he did exactly what she requested and cannot
fathom why she would keep talking about a problem if she does not want to do
anything about it.72
Of course, we must be careful not to overgeneralize. Gender roles continually evolve,
and a number of factors interact with gender to shape how people provide social
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Who Is Listening to You Online?
During a lecture, Australian university student Jonathan
Pease tweeted the following message: “Sitting in the back
row at syndey uni carving ‘Rooney eats it’ on the desk . . .
feels good to be a rebel:).” He soon discovered that his online
audience included Sydney University officials, who soon
posted a tweet of their own: “Defacing our desks Jonathan?;)
Hope you enjoyed your course.”68 Luckily for Pease, the
authorities had a sense of humor. Their response also rein-
forced an important point: When you go online, your audi-
ence may include more viewers than you imagine.
University officials aren’t the only ones who track people
online. The practice known as “social media listening” has
become a sensation among marketing professionals who
want to understand consumers’ preferences better and
develop relationships with them. Robert Caruso realized this
when he saw a commercial for Total Bib on TV and tweeted
to his friends that it reminded him of a Saturday Night Live
sketch. “A few hours later, I received a reply tweet from Total
Bib thanking me for the mention and engaging me in con-
versation,” Caruso says. “I was pretty amazed since I was not
following them previously, they were simply monitoring the
stream.” Not only that, but Total Bib representatives looked
up Caruso online and learned that he was a single father
with a toddler, so they sent him a complimentary bib. Caruso
said he was touched by the personal attention.69
So-called listening software can monitor websites, Face-
book, Google searches, blogs, Twitter, and more. That means
that marketing professionals monitor people’s online search
terms and the websites they visit, in addition to the mes-
sages and photos they post.
At its best, monitoring technology allows marketers to listen
avidly to consumers. At its worst, it can be “unethical and
creepy,” in the words of Tom Petrocelli, a technology blogger
and marketing specialist.70 Petrocelli is a fan of media listen-
ing when it’s done well, but he counts the following actions
in the creepy column: spying on employees, requiring them
to share their “friends” list with the marketing team, and
sending out mass emails or tweets uninvited.
One thing is for sure: Whether you consider online monitor-
ing to be an invasion of privacy or marketing genius, the
odds are that you are subject to this type of listening.
cultural idioms
one-up: outdoing someone
put-down: an insulting or degrading
remark
brushing off: dismissing or ignoring
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support—including cultural background, personal goals, expressive style,
and cognitive complexity. All the same, understanding traditional pat-
terns and social mores may help us avoid the assumption that our way is
the only way or the right way to offer comfort.
Types of Supportive Responses
Whatever the relationship and topic, you can choose from several
styles to respond supportively to another person’s remarks.73 Each of
these styles has advantages and disadvantages. As you read them, con-
sider the best style for a particular situation.
Advising When someone shares a concern with you, you might offer
a solution, which scholars call an advising response. Although advice
is sometimes valuable, often it isn’t as helpful as you might think.
There are two main reasons why offering advice doesn’t work espe-
cially well in general. First, it can be hard to tell when someone actually
wants your opinion. Sometimes the request is clear: “What do you think
I should do?” At other times, though, the speaker’s intent isn’t as clear.
Statements such as “What do you think of Jeff?,” “Would that be an example
of sexual harassment?,” and “I’m really confused” may be designed more
to solicit information or announce a problem. People often don’t want
advice, even if they indicate they do. They may not be ready to accept
it, needing instead simply to talk out their thoughts and feelings.
Even when someone with a problem asks for advice, offering it
may not be helpful. Your suggestion may not offer the best course to
follow, in which case it can even be harmful. There’s often a temptation
to tell others how we would behave in their place, but it’s important to
realize that what’s right for one person may not be right for another. A
related consequence of advising is that it often allows others to avoid
responsibility for their decisions. A partner who follows a suggestion
of yours that doesn’t work out can always pin the blame on you.
Advice is most welcome when it has been clearly requested and
when the advisor seems concerned with respecting the face needs of the
recipient.74 Before offering advice, consider the checklist on this page.
Judging A judging response evaluates the sender’s thoughts or
behaviors in some way. The judgment may be favorable (“That’s a good
idea” or “You’re on the right track now”) or unfavorable (“An attitude
like that won’t get you anywhere”). But in either case it implies that the
person doing the judging is in some way qualified to pass judgment
on the speaker’s thoughts or behaviors.
Sometimes negative judgments are purely critical. How many
times have you heard such responses as “Well, you asked for it!” or
“I told you so!” or “You’re just feeling sorry for yourself”? Although com-
ments like these can sometimes serve as a verbal wake-up call, they
usually make matters worse.
At other times negative judgments are less critical. These involve
what we usually call constructive criticism, which is intended to help
a person improve in the future. This is the sort of response given by
friends about everything from the choice of clothing to jobs and to
friends. Another common setting for constructive criticism occurs
in school, where instructors evaluate students’ work to help them
master concepts and skills. But whether or not it’s justified, even con-
structive criticism runs the risk of arousing defensiveness because it
may threaten the self-concept of the person at whom it is directed.
cultural idioms
face-saving: protecting one’s dignity
pin the blame on: claim the fault lies
with
wake-up call: a warning or caution to
pay attention
CHECKLIST
Factors to Consider
Before Offering Advice
Before offering advice, make sure the following
four conditions are present:75
Be confident that the advice is correct.
Resist the temptation to act like an authority
on matters you know little about. Further-
more, it is both unfair and risky to make sug-
gestions when you aren’t positive that they
are the best choice. Realize that just because
a course of action worked for you doesn’t
guarantee that it will work for everybody.
Ask yourself whether the person seeking
your advice seems willing to accept it.
In this way you can avoid the frustration of
making good suggestions, only to find that
the person with the problem had another
solution in mind all the time.
Be certain that the receiver won’t blame
you if the advice doesn’t work out. You
may be offering the suggestions, but the
choice and responsibility for accepting them
are up to the recipient of your advice.
Deliver your advice supportively, in a
face-saving manner. Advice that is per-
ceived as being offered constructively, in
the context of a solid relationship, is much
better than critical comments offered in
a way that signals a lack of respect for the
receiver.
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Judgments have the best chance of being received when two conditions exist:
• The person with the problem has requested an evaluation from you. Occasionally
an unsolicited judgment may bring someone to his or her senses, but more
often this sort of uninvited evaluation will trigger a defensive response.
• Your judgment is genuinely constructive and not designed as a put-down. If you
are tempted to use judgments as a weapon, don’t fool yourself into thinking
that you are being helpful. Often the statement “I’m telling you this for your
own good” simply isn’t true.
If you can remember to follow these two guidelines, your judgments will probably
be less frequent and better received.
Analyzing In an analyzing statement, the listener tries to help by offering an
interpretation of a speaker’s message. The motive here is different from the kind
of analysis described on pages 139–140, in which the goal was to benefit you, the
listener. In this case, the analysis is aimed at helping the other person.
Analyses like these are probably familiar to you:
“I think what’s really bothering you is . . .”
“She’s doing it because . . .”
“I don’t think you really meant that.”
“Maybe the problem started when she . . .”
Interpretations are often effective ways to help people with problems con-
sider alternative meanings they would not have thought of without your help.
Sometimes a clear analysis will make a confusing problem suddenly clear, either
suggesting a solution or at least providing an understanding of what is occurring.
At other times, an analysis can create more problems than it solves. There are
two problems with analyzing. First, your interpretation may not be correct, in
which case the speaker may become even more confused by accepting it. Second,
even if your interpretation is correct, saying it aloud might not be useful. There’s
a chance that it will arouse defensiveness (because analysis can imply superiority
and judgment), and even if it doesn’t, the person may not be able to understand
your view of the problem without working it out personally.
How can you know when it’s helpful to offer an analysis? The checklist on this
page suggests several guidelines to follow.
Questioning A few pages ago we talked about questioning as one way to under-
stand others better. A questioning response can also be a way to help others think
about their problems and understand them more clearly. For example, question-
ing can help a conversational partner define vague ideas more precisely. You might
respond to a friend with a line of questioning: “You said Greg has been acting ‘differ-
ently’ toward you lately. What has he been doing?” Another example of a question that
helps clarify is as follows: “You told your roommates that you wanted them to be more
helpful in keeping the place clean. What would you like them to do?”
Questions can also encourage people to examine situations in more detail by
talking either about what happened or about personal feelings—for example, “How
did you feel when they turned you down? What did you do then?” This type of question-
ing is particularly helpful when you are dealing with someone who is quiet or is
unwilling under the circumstances to talk about the problem very much.
Although questions have the potential to be helpful, they also risk confusing
or distracting the person with the problem. The best questioning follows these
principles:
• Don’t ask questions just to satisfy your own curiosity. You might become
so interested in the other person’s story that you will want to hear more.
“What did he say then?” you might be tempted to ask. “What happened next?”
advising response Helping response
in which the receiver offers suggestions
about how the speaker should deal with
a problem.
judging response A reaction in which
the receiver evaluates the sender’s mes-
sage either favorably or unfavorably.
analyzing statement A helping style
in which the listener offers an interpreta-
tion of a speaker’s message.
cultural idiom
turned you down: rejected your
request or offer
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Responding to questions like these might confuse the person
with the problem, or even leave him or her more agitated than
before.
• Be sure your questions won’t confuse or distract the person you’re
trying to help. For instance, asking someone, “When did the
problem begin?” might provide some clue about how to solve
it—but it could also lead to a long digression that would only
confuse matters. As with advice, it’s important to be sure you’re
on the right track before asking questions.
• Don’t use questions to disguise your suggestions or criticism.
We’ve all been questioned by parents, teachers, or other figures
who seemed to be trying to trap us or indirectly to guide us. In
this way, questioning becomes a strategy that can imply that
the questioner already has some idea of what direction the dis-
cussion should take but isn’t willing to tell you directly.
Comforting A comforting response can take several forms:
Agreement “You’re right—the landlord is being unfair.”
“Yeah, that class was tough for me, too.”
Offers to help “I’m here if you need me.”
“Let me try to explain it to him.”
Praise “I don’t care what the boss said: I think you did
a great job!”
“You’re a terrific person! If she doesn’t recognize
it, that’s her problem.”
Reassurance “The worst part is over. It will probably get
easier from here.”
“I know you’ll do a great job.”
Diversion “Let’s catch a movie and get your mind off this.”
“That reminds me of the time we . . .”
Acknowledgment “I can see that really hurts.”
“I know how important that was to you.”
“It’s no fun to feel unappreciated.”
Sometimes comforting words often can be just what the other
person needs. In other instances, though, this kind of comment isn’t
helpful at all; in fact, it can even make things worse. Telling a person
who is obviously upset that everything is all right, or joking about
a serious matter, can trivialize the problem. People might see your
comments as a put-down, leaving them feeling worse than before.
As with the other styles we’ll discuss, comforting can be helpful,
but only in certain circumstances.76 For the occasions when comfort-
ing is an appropriate response, follow these guidelines:
• Make sure your comforting remarks are sincere. Phony agree-
ment or encouragement is probably worse than no support at
all, because it adds the insult of your dishonesty to the pain the
other person is already feeling.
• Be sure the other person can accept your support. Sometimes we
become so upset that we aren’t ready or able to hear anything
positive.
comforting A response style in which a listener
reassures, supports, or distracts the person seeking help.
CHECKLIST
When and How to Offer
an Analysis
Offer your interpretation in a tentative
way rather than as absolute fact. There’s a
big difference between saying, “Maybe the
reason is . . .” or “The way it looks to me . . .”
and insisting, “This is the truth.”
Make sure you have a reasonable
chance of being correct. An inaccurate
interpretation—especially one that sounds
plausible—can leave a person more
confused than before.
Be sure the other person will be receptive
to your analysis. Even if you’re completely
accurate, your thoughts won’t help if the
other person isn’t ready to consider them.
Be sure your motive for offering an analysis
is truly to help the other person. It can be
tempting to offer an analysis to show how
brilliant you are or even to make the other
person feel bad for not having thought
of the right answer. Needless to say, an
analysis offered under such conditions
isn’t helpful.
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Even if your advice, judgments, and analysis are correct and your ques-
tions are sincere, and even if your support comes from the best motives, these
responses often fail to help. For example, it’s typically hurtful rather than
helpful to say, “There are people worse off than you are” or “No one ever said life
was fair.”77 It may also be frustrating to hear “I understand how you feel” from
people who can’t really know what the person is going through.78 It is usually
far more helpful to listen without judgment, acknowledge the person’s feel-
ings, and say that you care and will stand by the distressed individual through
hard times.79
One American Red Cross grief counselor explained to survivors of the Sep-
tember 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States that simply being present
can be more helpful than trying to reassure grief-stricken family members who
lost loved ones in the tragedy:
Listen. Don’t say anything. Saying “it’ll be okay,” or “I know how you feel” can back-
fire. Right now that’s not what a victim wants to hear. They want to know people
are there and care about them. Be there, be present, listen. The clergy refer to it
as a “ministry of presence.” You don’t need to do anything, just be there or have
them know you’re available.80
Prompting Advising, judging, analyzing, questioning, and comforting are all
active approaches to helping that call for a great deal of input from the respon-
dent. Another approach to problem solving is more passive. Prompting involves
using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out, and in
so doing to help them solve their own problems. Consider this example:
Pablo: Julie’s dad is selling a complete computer system for only $1,200, but if I
want it I have to buy it now. He’s got another interested buyer. It’s a great
deal. But buying it would wipe out my savings. At the rate I spend money,
it would take me a year to save up this much again.
Tim: Uh huh.
Pablo: I wouldn’t be able to take that ski trip over winter break . . . but I sure
could save time with my schoolwork . . . and do a better job, too.
Tim: That’s for sure.
Pablo: Do you think I should buy it?
Tim: I don’t know. What do you think?
Pablo: I just can’t decide.
Tim: (silence)
Pablo: I’m going to do it. I’ll never get a deal like this again.
Prompting works especially well when you can’t help others make a decision.
At times like this your presence can act like a catalyst to help others find their
own answers. Prompting will work best when it’s done sincerely. Your nonver-
bal behaviors—eye contact, posture, facial expression, tone of voice—must show
that you are concerned with the other person’s problem. Mechanical prompting is
likely to irritate instead of help.
Reflecting A few pages ago you read about the value of paraphrasing to under-
stand others. The same approach can be used as a supportive response. We use the
term reflecting to describe it here, to emphasize that the goal is not as much to
clarify your understanding as to help the other person hear and think about the
words he or she has just spoken. When you use this approach, be sure to reflect
both the thoughts and the feelings you hear being expressed. This conversation
prompting Using silence and brief
statements of encouragement to draw
out a speaker.
reflecting Listening that helps the
person speaking hear and think about
the words just spoken.
cultural idiom
wipe out: deplete
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between two friends shows how reflecting can offer support and help a person
find the answer to her own problem:
Jill: I’ve had the strangest feeling about my boss lately.
Mark: What’s that? (A simple question invites Jill to go on.)
Jill: I’m starting to think maybe he has this thing about women—or maybe
it’s just about me.
Mark: You mean he’s coming on to you? (Mark paraphrases what he thinks Jill has said.)
Jill: Oh no, not at all! But it seems like he doesn’t take women—or at least
me—seriously. (Jill corrects Mark’s misunderstanding and explains herself.)
Mark: What do you mean? (Mark asks another simple question to get more information.)
Jill: Well, whenever we’re in a meeting or just talking around the office and he
asks for ideas, he always seems to pick men. He gives orders to women—
men, too—but he never asks the women to say what they think. But I
know he counts on and acknowledges some women in the office.
Mark: Now you sound confused. (Reflects her apparent feeling.)
Jill: I am confused. I don’t think it’s just my imagination. I mean I’m a good
producer, but he has never—not once—asked me for my ideas about how
to improve sales or anything. And I can’t remember a time when he’s
asked any other women. But maybe I’m overreacting.
Mark: You’re not positive whether you’re right, but I can tell that this has you
concerned. (Mark paraphrases both Jill’s central theme and her feeling.)
Jill: Yes. But I don’t know what to do about it.
Mark: Maybe you should . . . (Starts to offer advice but catches himself and decides
to ask a sincere question instead.) So what are your choices?
Jill: Well, I could just ask him if he’s aware that he never asks women’s opin-
ions. But that might sound too aggressive and angry.
Mark: And you’re not angry? (Tries to clarify how Jill is feeling.)
Jill: Not really. I don’t know whether I should be angry because he’s not
taking women’s ideas seriously, or whether he just doesn’t take my ideas
seriously, or whether it’s nothing at all.
Mark: So you’re mostly confused. (Reflects Jill’s apparent feeling again.)
Jill: Yes! I don’t know where I stand with my boss, and not being sure is start-
ing to get to me. I wish I knew what he thinks of me. Maybe I could just
tell him I’m confused about what is going on here and ask him to clear it
up. But what if it’s nothing? Then I’ll look insecure.
Mark: (Mark thinks Jill should confront her boss, but he isn’t positive that this is the
best approach, so he paraphrases what Jill seems to be saying.) And that would
make you look bad.
Jill: I’m afraid maybe it would. I wonder if I could talk it over with anybody
else in the office and get their ideas . . .
Mark: . . . see what they think . . .
Jill: Yeah. Maybe I could ask Brenda. She’s easy to talk to, and I do respect
her judgment. Maybe she could give me some ideas about how to handle
this.
Mark: Sounds like you’re comfortable with talking to Brenda first.
Jill: (Warming to the idea.) Yes! Then if it’s nothing, I can calm down. But if I
do need to talk to the boss, I’ll know I’m doing the right thing.
Mark: Great. Let me know how it goes.
cultural idioms
coming on to: making a sexual
advance toward
where I stand with: how I am
perceived by
ASK YOURSELF
How can you use
supportive listening
to help someone work
through a problem?
?
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Reflecting a speaker’s ideas and feelings can be surprisingly help-
ful. First, reflecting helps the other person sort out the problem. In
the dialogue you just read, Mark’s paraphrasing helped Jill consider
carefully what bothered her about her boss’s behavior. The clarity that
comes from this sort of perspective can make it possible to find solu-
tions that weren’t apparent before. Reflecting also helps the person
to unload more of the concerns he or she has been carrying around,
often leading to the relief that comes from catharsis. Finally, listeners
who reflect the speaker’s thoughts and feelings (instead of judging
or analyzing, for example) show their involvement and concern. The
checklist on this page suggests factors you should consider before you
paraphrase while offering support.
When and How to Help
Before committing yourself to helping another person—even someone
in obvious distress—make sure your support is welcome. Sometimes,
people prefer to handle difficult situations on their own. The presence
of a relational partner may make them even more nervous or anxious.81
And timing is everything. Sometimes the most supportive thing we can
do is give someone peace and quiet. Other times, running an errand or
offering to help with a task may more helpful than listening.82
When help is welcome, there is no single best way to provide it.
There is enormous variability in which style will work with a given
person in a given situation. This explains why communicators who
are able to use a wide variety of helping styles are usually more effec-
tive than those who rely on just one or two styles.83
You can boost the odds of choosing the best helping style in each
situation by considering three factors.
• The situation: Sometimes people need your advice. At other
times your encouragement and comforting will be most help-
ful, and at still other times your analysis or judgment may be
truly useful. And, as you have seen, there are times when your
prompting and reflecting can help others find their own answer.
• The other person: Some people are able to consider advice thought-
fully, whereas others use suggestions to avoid making their own
decisions. Many communicators are extremely defensive and
aren’t capable of receiving analysis or judgments without lashing
out. Still others aren’t equipped to think through problems clearly.
• Your own strengths and weaknesses: You may be best at listening
quietly, offering a prompt from time to time. Or perhaps you are
especially insightful and can offer a truly useful analysis of the
problem. Of course, it’s also possible to rely on a response style
that is unhelpful. You may be overly judgmental or too eager to
advise, even when your suggestions aren’t invited or productive.
In most cases, the best way to help is to use a combination of responses
in a way that meets the needs of the occasion and suits your personal
communication style.84
In this chapter, we have considered the importance of listening as
a means of connecting with others, learning, leading, and developing
fulfilling relationships. Erica Nicole and many other successful people
operate on a principle stated by the science educator Bill Nye: “Every-
one you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”85 About life. About
love. About career success. About themselves. And maybe about you.
CHECKLIST
Conditions That Make
Paraphrasing a Good
Option
Reflecting can be helpful, but it is no panacea.
A classic study by noted researcher John Gottman
revealed that this approach is not an end in itself;
rather, it is one way to help others by understand-
ing them better.86 There are several factors to
consider before you decide to paraphrase.
Is the problem complex? Sometimes people
are simply looking for information and not
trying to work out their feelings. At times like
this, paraphrasing would be out of place.
Do you have the necessary time and con-
cern? The kind of paraphrasing we’ve been
discussing here takes a good deal of time
and can be stressful.87 Therefore, if you’re in a
hurry to do something besides listen, it’s wise
to avoid starting a conversation you won’t be
able to finish. It’s far better to state honestly
that you’re unable or unwilling to help than
to pretend to care when you really don’t.
Are you willing to listen rather than share
your own experiences? It isn’t always
necessary to reciprocate the other person’s
self-disclosure with information of your
own. Sometimes keeping the focus on the
other person is the most supportive thing
you can do.
Can you withhold judgment? Use para-
phrasing only if you can comfortably
paraphrase without injecting your own
judgments.
Is your paraphrasing in proportion to
other responses? Although reflecting
can be a very helpful way of responding to
others’ problems, it can become artificial
and annoying when it’s overused.
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MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Describe the benefits that follow from
being an effective listener.
• Listening—the process of giving meaning to an oral
message—is a vitally important part of the communica-
tion process.
• There are many advantages to being a good listener.
People with good listening skills are more likely than
others to be hired, promoted, and regarded as leaders. In
addition, listening improves relationships.
• Identify people from your own experience whose listening
ability illustrates the advantages outlined on pages 125–126.
• Listen, really listen, to someone important in your life.
Note how that person responds and how you feel about
the experience.
• How could better listening benefit your life?
OBJECTIVE Outline the most common misconcep-
tions about listening, and assess how successfully you
avoid them.
• Listening and hearing are not the same thing. Hearing is
only the first step in the process of listening. Beyond that,
listening involves attending, understanding, responding,
and remembering.
• Listening is not a natural process. It takes both time
and effort. Mindful listening requires a commitment to
understand others’ perspectives without being judgmen-
tal or defensive.
• It’s a mistake to assume that all receivers will hear and
understand a message identically. Recognizing the poten-
tial for multiple interpretations and misunderstanding
can prevent problems.
> Give examples of how the misconceptions about
listening described in this section create problems.
> Which factors described on pages 129–133 contribute
most to your ineffective listening?
> How can you use the information in this section to
improve your own listening?
OBJECTIVE Identify and manage the faulty habits
and challenges that make effective listening difficult.
• Faulty listening habits include pseudolistening, selec-
tive listening, defensiveness, avoiding difficult issues,
5.1
5.2
5.3
insensitivity, conversational narcissism, and the assump-
tion that talking is more impressive than listening.
• A variety of factors contribute to ineffective listening,
including message overload, rapid thought, psychologi-
cal noise, physical noise, hearing problems, cultural dif-
ferences, and media influences.
> From recent experience, identify examples of each
type of ineffective listening described in this section.
> Which of the listening misconceptions listed on
pages 126–128 characterize your attitudes about
listening?
> Develop an action plan to overcome your barriers to
effective listening and to correct the faulty listening
habits you have identified.
OBJECTIVE Know when and how to listen to ac-
complish a task, enhance relationships, analyze a mes-
sage, and critically evaluate another’s remarks.
• Task-oriented listening helps people accomplish mutual
goals. It involves an active approach in which people
often identify key ideas, ask questions, paraphrase, and
take notes.
• Relational listening involves the willingness to spend
time with people to better understand their feelings
and perspectives. It’s most effective when the listener is
patient, encourages the speaker to continue, and is sensi-
tive to underlying meanings.
• Analytic listening involves the willingness to suspend
judgment and consider a variety of perspectives to
achieve a clear understanding. This type of listening
requires people to discern between what is true and what
is not.
• Critical listening is appropriate when the goal is to
judge the quality of an idea. A critical analysis is most
successful when the listener ensures correct under-
standing of a message before passing judgment, when
the speaker’s credibility is taken into account, when
the quality of supporting evidence is examined, and
when the logic of the speaker’s arguments is examined
carefully.
> Identify situations in which each type of listening
described in this section is most appropriate.
> On your own or with feedback from others who
know you well, assess your ability to listen for each
of the following goals: to accomplish a task, enhance
relationships, analyze ideas, and critically evaluate
messages. Which types of listening are your strongest
and weakest?
> Develop an action plan to improve your skills in the
most critical areas identified above.
5.4
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CHAPTER 5 Review
stage hog p. 133
supportive listening p. 142
task-oriented listening p. 135
understanding p. 127
ACTIVITIES
1. Recognizing Listening Misconceptions You can see how
listening misconceptions affect your life by identifying
important situations when you have fallen for each of the
following assumptions. In each case, describe the conse-
quences of believing these erroneous assumptions.
a. Thinking that because you were hearing a message
you were listening to it.
b. Believing that listening effectively is natural and
effortless.
c. Assuming that other listeners were understanding a
message in the same way as you.
2. Supportive Response Styles This exercise will help
improve your ability to listen empathically in the most
successful manner. For each of the following statements:
a. Write separate responses, using each of the following
styles:
> Advising
> Judging
> Analyzing
> Questioning
> Comforting
> Prompting
> Reflecting
b. Discuss the pros and cons of using each response style.
c. Identify which response seems most effective and
explain your decision.
> At a party, a guest you have just met for the first
time says, “Everybody seems like they’ve been
friends for years. I don’t know anybody here.
How about you?”
> Your best friend has been quiet lately. When you
ask if anything is wrong, she snaps, “No!” in an
irritated tone of voice.
> A fellow worker says, “The boss keeps making
sexual remarks to me. I think it’s a come-on, and
I don’t know what to do.”
> It’s registration time at college. One of your
friends asks if you think he should enroll in the
communication class you’ve taken.
> Someone with whom you live remarks, “It seems
like this place is always a mess. We get it cleaned
up, and then an hour later it’s trashed.”
OBJECTIVE Use the skills introduced on
pages 137–139 to offer social support to a friend,
partner, or family member.
• The aim of supportive listening is to help the speaker, not
the receiver.
• Various helping responses include advising, judging,
analyzing, questioning, comforting, prompting, and
reflecting the speaker’s thoughts and feelings.
• Listeners can be most helpful when they use a variety of
styles, focus on the emotional dimensions of a message,
and avoid being too judgmental.
> Give examples of each type of social support
described on pages 142–149.
> Which types of social support do you find most
helpful? When are certain types of social support not
helpful to you?
> Identify how you can use the information in this
section to offer more helpful social support.
KEY TERMS
advising response p. 145
ambushing p. 133
analytical listening p. 139
analyzing statement p. 145
attending p. 127
comforting p. 146
conversational narcissism p. 133
counterfeit question p. 135
critical listening p. 140
defensive listening p. 133
hearing p. 126
insensitive listening p. 133
insulated listening p. 133
judging response p. 145
listening p. 126
listening fidelity p. 127
mindful listening p. 128
paraphrasing p. 136
prompting p. 147
pseudolistening p. 133
questioning p. 135
reflecting p. 147
relational listening p. 137
remembering p. 127
residual message p. 127
responding p. 127
selective listening p. 133
sincere question p. 135
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Nonverbal
Communication
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 155
Nonverbal Behavior Has Communicative Value
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous
Nonverbal Communication Differs from Verbal Communication
Nonverbal Skills Are Important
Influences on Nonverbal Communication 159
Culture
Gender
Functions of Nonverbal Communication 162
Repeating
Substituting
Complementing
Accenting
Regulating
Contradicting
Deceiving
Types of Nonverbal Communication 166
Body Movements
Voice
Appearance
Touch
Space
Environment
Time
Building Competence in Nonverbal Communication 176
Tune Out Words
Use Perception Checking
Pay Attention to Your Own Nonverbal Behavior
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
6.1
Explain the characteristics of
nonverbal communication and
the social goals it serves.
6.2
Explain the ways in which
nonverbal communication
reflects culture and gender
differences.
6.3
Describe the functions served by
nonverbal communication.
6.4
List the types of nonverbal
communication, and explain
how each operates in everyday
interaction.
6.5
Demonstrate competence
in assessing the nonverbal
communication of others and
managing your own nonverbal
messages.
6
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WONDER WOMAN AND SUPERMAN might be on to something.
Their feet-apart, hands-on-hips stance is a testament to the power of
nonverbal communication. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy calls it a
power pose. According to her research, it can change the way people
think about you and can improve your performance at school and work.
Cuddy became interested in body language as a business profes-
sor at Harvard University. She noticed that some students engage in
highly assertive nonverbal behaviors. “They get right into the middle
of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy
space. When they sit down, they’re sort of spread out,” she says.1
Those are the students, she soon realized, who are most likely to get
noticed. They raise their hands high and take part in discussions. By
contrast, other students “are virtually collapsing as they come in.
They sit in their chairs and they make themselves tiny, and they go
like this,” Cuddy says, raising her hand no higher than her head, with
her arm close to her face.
Cuddy has also noticed that women in her classes are more likely
than men to demonstrate low-power behaviors. Slight-built herself,
she began to apply the idea to her own behavior and found that
people took her more seriously when she demonstrated a confident
presence.
Cuddy’s research has shown how nonverbal communication
affects not just how others perceive us but how we feel about our-
selves. Try this quick exercise to see for yourself. The next time you
anticipate a stressful situation, adopt a power pose for 2 minutes to
warm up. Even if no one sees you, “it’s going to make you feel more
powerful,” Cuddy predicts.
Of course, nonverbal communication involves more than body
language; some of the things we do vocally are nonverbal. Tone,
rate, and volume are nonverbal cues. So are laughter and sighs, since
neither of these are words. Likewise, although many verbal messages
are vocal, some aren’t (e.g., written words). Table 6-1 illustrates these
differences.
Amy Cuddy’s
research highlights the
power of nonverbal
communication. As you
read this chapter, consider
these questions:
?
What do your nonverbal
cues suggest to other
people?
?
How might you alter your
nonverbal behavior to
feel and appear more
confident and powerful?
?
What nonverbal cues
catch your attention
most? What do you tend
to overlook?
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155
You’ve probably noticed that there’s often a gap between what people say and how
they actually feel. An acquaintance says, “I’d like to get together again” in a way that
leaves you suspecting the opposite. A speaker tries to appear confident but acts in a
way that almost screams out, “I’m nervous!” You ask a friend what’s wrong, and the
“Nothing” you get in response rings hollow.
Then there are other times when a message comes through even though there
are no words at all. A look of irritation, a smile, a sigh—signs like these can say
more than a torrent of words.
All situations like these have one element in common: Messages were sent
nonverbally. The goal of this chapter is to introduce you to this world of nonver-
bal communication. Although you have certainly recognized nonverbal messages
before, the following pages should introduce you to a richness of information you
have never noticed. The experience won’t transform you into a mind reader, but it
will make you a far more accurate observer of others—and yourself.
Characteristics of Nonverbal
Communication
Our working definition of nonverbal communication is “messages expressed
through nonlinguistic means.” But this brief definition only hints at the richness
of these messages. You can begin to understand their prevalence by trying a simple
experiment. Spend time around a group of people who are speaking a language you
don’t understand. Your goal is to see how much information you can learn about
the people you’re observing from means other than the verbal messages they trans-
mit. This experiment will reveal several characteristics of nonverbal communication.
What about languages that don’t involve spoken words? For example, is Ameri-
can Sign Language considered verbal or nonverbal communication? Most scholars
would say sign language is verbal because it largely uses gestures to express partic-
ular words.2 This means that sign language and written words are verbal, but mes-
sages transmitted by vocal means that don’t involve language—sighs, laughs, and
other utterances—are nonverbal. We will discuss this more later in the chapter.
Nonverbal Behavior Has Communicative Value
It’s virtually impossible not to communicate nonverbally.3 Suppose you were
instructed to avoid communicating any messages at all. What would you do? Close
your eyes? Withdraw into a ball? Leave the room? As the photo of a minion on this
page illustrates, the meaning of some nonverbal behavior can be ambiguous. You
may not be able to tell exactly what is going on, but the nonverbal cues certainly
have communicative value.
nonverbal communication Messages
expressed by other than linguistic
means.
Types of Communication
VOCAL COMMUNICATION NONVOCAL COMMUNICATION
VERBAL COMMUNICATION Spoken words Written words
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Tone of voice, sighs, screams, vocal
qualities (loudness, pitch, and so on)
Gestures, movement, appearance,
facial expression, and so on
Source: Adapted from John Stewart, J., & D’Angelo, G. (1980). Together: Communicating interpersonally (2nd ed.). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, p. 22. Copyright ©
1993 by McGraw-Hill. Reprinted/adapted by permission.
TABLE 6-1
cultural idiom
rings hollow: sounds insincere
Minions speak a language that’s
incomprehensible to humans. Nonetheless,
their voices, facial expressions, and
movements offer plenty of cues about
what they are thinking and feeling.
What nonverbal cues do you typically
broadcast when your friends are talking
to you?
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Of course, we don’t always intend to send nonverbal messages. Unintentional
nonverbal behaviors differ from intentional ones. For example, we often stam-
mer, blush, frown, and sweat without meaning to do so. Some theorists argue
that unintentional behavior may provide information, but it shouldn’t count as
communication. Others draw the boundaries of nonverbal communication more
broadly, suggesting that even unconscious and unintentional behavior conveys
messages and thus is worth studying as communication.4 We take the broad view
here because, whether or not nonverbal behavior is intentional, we use it to form
impressions about one another.
Even when we intend to communicate nonverbally, we aren’t always aware of
the cues we are sending. In one study, less than a quarter of experimental subjects
who had been instructed to show increased or decreased liking of a partner could
describe the nonverbal behaviors they used.5 Scientists think this is possible
because our limbic brain, which encodes and decodes nonverbal cues, also trig-
gers automatic responses to our environment—as when we jump at loud noises or
our hearts beat quickly in fear.6 As a result of this, we can control our nonverbal
displays to an extent, but they sometimes occur spontaneously or with minimal
conscious thought.
Furthermore, just because communicators are nonverbally expressive doesn’t
mean that others will tune in to the abundance of unspoken messages that are
available. One study comparing the richness of email to in-person communica-
tion confirmed the greater amount of information available in face-to-face con-
versations, but it also showed that some communicators (primarily men) failed to
recognize these messages.7
The fact that you and everyone around you are constantly sending nonverbal
clues is important because it means that you have a constant source of informa-
tion available about yourself and others. If you can tune in to these signals, you
will be more aware of how those around you are feeling and thinking, and you
will be better able to respond to their behavior.
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational
Some nonverbal messages serve utilitarian goals. For example, a police officer uses
gestures to direct the flow of traffic, and a conductor leads members of a symphony.
But nonverbal communication also serves a far more common (and more interest-
ing) series of social goals.8
1. Nonverbal cues help us manage our identities. In Chapter 2 we explored
the notion that people strive to create images of themselves as they want
others to view them. Nonverbal communication plays an important role in
this process—in many cases it is more important than verbal communica-
tion. Consider, for example, what happens when you attend a party where
you are likely to meet strangers you would like to get to know better. Instead
of projecting your image verbally (“Hi! I’m attractive, friendly, and easygoing”),
you behave in ways that will present this identity. You might smile a lot and
try to strike a relaxed pose. It’s also likely that you will dress carefully—even
if the image involves looking as if you hadn’t given a lot of attention to your
appearance.
2. Nonverbal cues help define our relationships. You can appreciate this fact
by thinking about the wide range of ways you could behave when greeting
another person. Depending on the nature of your relationship (or what you
want it to be) you could wave, shake hands, nod, smile, pat the other person
on the back, give a hug, or avoid all contact. Even trying to not communicate
can send a message, as when you avoid talking to someone.
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3. Nonverbal cues convey emotion. We can convey emo-
tions nonverbally that we may be unwilling or unable to
express in words. For example, people who know you well
might recognize that you are shocked, happy, stressed,
or sad, even when you are trying to hide those feelings
or when you haven’t fully acknowledged them within
yourself.
One reason nonverbal cues are so powerful is that they convey
some meanings better than words can. You can prove this for
yourself by imagining how you could express each item on the
following list nonverbally:
• You’re bored.
• You are opposed to capital punishment.
• You are attracted to another person in the group.
• You want to know if you will be tested on this material.
• You are nervous about trying this experiment.
The first, third, and fifth items in this list all involve attitudes;
you could probably imagine how each could be expressed nonverbally through
what social scientists call affect displays—facial expressions, body movements,
and vocal traits described in this chapter. By contrast, the second and fourth items
involve ideas, and they would be quite difficult to convey without using words. The
same principle holds in everyday life: Nonverbal behavior offers many cues about
the way people feel—often more than we get from their words alone.
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous
It is important to realize that nonverbal communication is often difficult to inter-
pret accurately. To appreciate the ambiguous nature of nonverbal communication,
study the photo on this page. What emotions do you imagine the couple is feeling:
Grief? Anguish? Agony? In fact, none of these is even close. They just learned that
they won $1 million in the New Jersey state lottery!
Nonverbal communication can be just as ambiguous in everyday life. For exam-
ple, relying on nonverbal cues in romantic situations can lead to inaccurate guesses
about a partner’s interest in a sexual relationship.9 Workers of the Safeway super-
market chain discovered firsthand the problems with nonverbal ambiguity when
they tried to follow the company’s new “superior customer service” policy that
required them to smile and make eye contact with customers. Twelve employees
filed grievances over the policy, reporting that several customers had propositioned
them, misinterpreting their actions as come-ons.10
Although all nonverbal behavior is ambiguous, some emotions are easier to
decode accurately than others. In laboratory experiments, subjects are better at
identifying positive facial expressions such as happiness, love, surprise, and inter-
est than negative ones such as fear, sadness, anger, and disgust.11 In real life, how-
ever, spontaneous nonverbal expressions are so ambiguous that observers are able
to identify the emotions they convey no more accurately than by blind guessing.12
Some people are more skillful than others at accurately decoding nonverbal
behavior.13 For example, those who are better senders of nonverbal messages
also are better receivers. Decoding ability also increases with age and training,
although there are still differences in ability owing to personality and occupa-
tion. For instance, extroverts are more accurate judges of nonverbal behavior than
introverts are.14 Interestingly, in general, women seem to be better than men at
affect displays Facial expressions,
body movements, and vocal traits that
reveal emotional states.
What emotions do you imagine this couple is
feeling?
cultural idioms
come-ons: sexual advances
blind guessing: coming to a
conclusion without any factual basis
for judgment
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decoding nonverbal messages.15 Despite these differences, even the best nonver-
bal decoders do not approach 100% accuracy.
When you try to make sense out of ambiguous nonverbal behavior, you should
consider several factors: the context in which the behaviors occur (e.g., smiling at
a joke suggests a different feeling from what is suggested by smiling at another’s
misfortune); the history of your relationship with the sender (e.g., friendly, hos-
tile); the other’s mood at the time; and your feelings (when you’re feeling insecure,
almost anything can seem like a threat). The important idea is that when you
become aware of nonverbal messages, you should think of them not as facts but
rather as clues that need to be checked out.
Nonverbal Communication Differs from Verbal
Communication
As Table 6-2 shows, nonverbal communication differs in several important ways
from spoken and written language. These differences suggest some reasons why it
is valuable to focus on nonverbal behavior. For example, whereas verbal messages
are almost always intentional, nonverbal cues are often unintended, and sometimes
unconscious.
Nonverbal Skills Are Important
It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of effective nonverbal expression and
the ability to read and respond to others’ nonverbal behavior. Nonverbal encoding
and decoding skills are strong predictors of popularity, attractiveness, and socio-
emotional well-being.16 In general, good nonverbal communicators are more per-
suasive than people who are less skilled, and they have a greater chance of success
in settings ranging from careers to poker to romance. Nonverbal sensitivity is a
major part of what some social scientists have called “emotional intelligence,” and
researchers have come to recognize that it is impossible to study spoken language
without paying attention to its nonverbal dimensions.17
One way to appreciate the importance of nonverbal skills is to see the chal-
lenges faced by people who lack them. Due to a processing deficit in the right
hemisphere of the brain, people born with a syndrome called nonverbal learn-
ing disorder (NVLD) have trouble making sense of nonverbal cues.18 People with
NVLD often misinterpret humorous or sarcastic messages literally, because those
cues are based heavily on nonverbal signals.
Some Differences Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
VERBAL COMMUNICATION NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
COMPLEXITY One dimension (words only) Multiple dimensions (voice, posture, gestures,
distance, etc.)
FLOW Intermittent (speaking and silence alternate) Continuous (it’s impossible not to communicate
nonverbally)
CLARITY Less subject to misinterpretation More ambiguous
IMPACT Has less impact when verbal and nonverbal cues
are contradictory
Has stronger impact when verbal and nonverbal
cues are contradictory
INTENTIONALITY Usually deliberate Often unintentional
TABLE 6-2
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People with NVLD also have trouble figuring out how to behave appropriately
in new social situations, so they rely on rote formulas that often don’t work. For
example, a child who has learned the formal way of meeting an adult for the first
time by shaking hands and saying, “Pleased to meet you” might try this approach
with a group of peers. The result, of course, is typically regarded as odd or nerdy.
And their disability may lead them to miss nonverbal cues sent by the other chil-
dren that this isn’t the right approach.19
Even for those of us who don’t live with NVLD, the nuances of nonverbal
behavior can be confusing.
Influences on Nonverbal
Communication
Much nonverbal communication is universal. For example, researchers have found
at least six facial expressions that humans everywhere use and understand: hap-
piness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise.20 Even children who have been
blind since birth reveal their feelings using these expressions. Despite these simi-
larities, there are some important differences in the way people use and understand
nonverbal behavior. We’ll look at some of these differences now.
Culture
Cultures have different nonverbal languages as well as verbal ones. Fiorello La
Guardia, the legendary mayor of New York from 1934 to 1945, was fluent in Eng-
lish, Italian, and Yiddish. Researchers who watched films of his campaign speeches
with the sound turned off found that they could tell which language he was speak-
ing by the changes in his nonverbal behavior.21
The meaning of some gestures varies from one culture to another. The “okay”
gesture made by joining thumb and forefinger to form a circle is a cheery affirma-
tion to most Americans, but it has less positive meanings in other parts of the
world. In France and Belgium it means, “You’re worth zero.” In Greece and Turkey it
is a vulgar sexual invitation, usually meant as an insult. Given this sort of cross-
cultural ambiguity, an innocent tourist might easily wind up in serious trouble.
Less obvious cross-cultural differences can damage relationships without
the parties ever recognizing exactly what has gone wrong. Edward Hall points
out that, whereas Americans are comfortable conducting business at a distance
of roughly 4 feet, people from the Middle East stand much closer.22 It is easy to
cultural idiom
wind up in: end up being in
Source: DILBERT © 1991 Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.
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visualize the awkward advance-and-retreat pattern that might
occur when two diplomats or businesspeople from these cul-
tures meet. The Middle Easterner would probably keep moving
forward to close a gap that feels wide to him or her, whereas the
American would probably continually back away. Both would
feel uncomfortable, although they may not know why.
Like distance, patterns of eye contact vary around the world.23
A direct gaze is considered appropriate for speakers in Latin
America, the Arab world, and southern Europe. On the other
hand, Asians, Indians, Pakistanis, and northern Europeans gaze
at a listener peripherally or not at all. In either case, deviations
from the norm are likely to make a listener uncomfortable.
Culture also affects how nonverbal cues are monitored. In
Japan, for instance, people tend to look to the eyes for emo-
tional cues, whereas Americans and Europeans focus on the
mouth. 24 These differences can often be seen in the text-based
emoticons commonly used in these cultures. (Search for “West-
ern and Eastern emoticons” in your browser for examples.)
Even within a culture, various groups can have different nonverbal rules. For
example, many white teachers in the United States use quasi-questions that hint
at the information they are seeking. An elementary teacher might encourage the
class to speak up by making an incorrect statement that demands refutation: “So
twelve divided by four is six, right?” Most white students would recognize this behav-
ior as a way of testing their understanding. But this style of questioning is unfa-
miliar to many students raised in traditional black cultures, who aren’t likely to
respond until they are directly questioned by the teacher.25 Given this difference,
it is easy to imagine how some teachers might view some children as unresponsive
or slow, when in fact they are simply playing by a different set of rules.
Vocal patterns are another nonverbal way to build and demonstrate cocul-
tural solidarity. For instance, younger Americans often use “uptalk” (statements
ending with a rise in pitch) and “vocal fry” (words ending with a low guttural
rumble). Celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and Zooey Deschanel popularized
these vocalic styles. It’s therefore not surprising that females use them more than
males do,26 although age of the speaker (i.e., millennial or younger) has more
of an impact than gender. There is some debate whether vocal fry diminishes
one’s credibility27 or enhances it.28 Either way, vocal mannerisms are one way that
speakers affiliate with their communities.
Communicators become more tolerant of others after they understand that
many nonverbal behaviors that seem unusual are the result of cultural differ-
ences. In one study, American adults were presented with videotaped scenes of
speakers from the United States, France, and Germany.29 When the sound was cut
off, viewers judged foreigners more negatively than their fellow citizens. But when
the speakers’ voices were added (allowing viewers to recognize that they were
from a different country), participants were less critical of the foreign speakers.
Despite differences like these, many nonverbal behaviors have the same mean-
ings around the world. Smiles and laughter are a universal signal of positive emo-
tions, for example, whereas the same sour expressions convey displeasure in every
culture.30 Charles Darwin believed that expressions such as these are the result
of evolution, functioning as survival mechanisms that allowed early humans to
convey emotional states before the development of language.
Although nonverbal expressions like these may be universal, the way they are
used varies widely around the world. In some cultures, display rules discourage
the overt demonstration of feelings such as happiness or anger. In other cultures,
displaying the same feelings is perfectly appropriate. Thus, a person from Japan
It has become fashionable in some circles
to imitate the throaty rumble known as
vocal fry, made popular by Katy Perry and
other celebrities.
Do you ever change the sound of your
voice to make a particular impression on
people? If so, how?
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might appear much more controlled and placid than an Arab, when in fact their
feelings might be identical.
The same principle operates closer to home among cocultures. For example,
observational studies have shown that, in general, black women in all-black
groups are more nonverbally expressive and interrupt one another more than do
white women in all-white groups.31 This doesn’t mean that black women always
feel more intensely than their white counterparts. A more likely explanation is
that the two groups follow different cultural rules. The researchers found that, in
racially mixed groups, both black and white women moved closer to the others’
style. This nonverbal convergence shows that skilled communicators can adapt
their behavior when interacting with members of other cultures or cocultures to
make the exchange smoother and more effective.
Gender
Media depictions often exaggerate stereotypical differences in masculine and femi-
nine styles of nonverbal communication. Think about exaggerated caricatures in
animated film classics such as Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid. Many
humorous films and plays have been created around the results that arise when
characters try to act like members of another sex.
Although few of us behave like stereotypically masculine or feminine movie
characters, there are often recognizable differences in the way men and women
look and act. In general, women are more nonverbally expressive than men, and
women are typically better at recognizing others’ nonverbal behavior. More spe-
cifically, research shows that, compared with men, women
• smile more;
• use more facial expressions;
• use more head, hand, and arm gestures (but less expansive gestures);
• touch others more;
• stand closer to others;
• are more vocally expressive; and
• make more eye contact.32
Despite these differences, men’s and women’s nonverbal communication pat-
terns have a good deal in common.33 Differences such as the ones noted above are
noticeable, but they are outweighed by the similar rules we follow in most dimen-
sions of nonverbal behavior. You can prove this by imagining what it would be
like to use radically different nonverbal rules: standing only an inch away from
others, sniffing strangers, or tapping people’s foreheads to get their attention.
Those behaviors would mark you as bizarre no matter your gender. Moreover,
male–female nonverbal differences are usually less pronounced in conversations
involving gay and lesbian participants.34 Gender and culture certainly have an
influence on nonverbal style, but the differences are often a matter of degree
rather than kind.
Most communication scholars agree that social factors have more influence
than biology does in shaping how men and women behave. For example, the
ability to read nonverbal cues may have more to do with women’s historically
less powerful social status. People in subordinate work positions also have better
decoding skills, probably because it’s important to be able to read the boss’s non-
verbal cues.35
All in all, although biological sex and cultural norms have an influence on
nonverbal style, as we mentioned in Chapter 4, they aren’t as dramatic as the
“men are from Mars and women are from Venus” thesis suggests.
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Functions of Nonverbal
Communication
Although verbal and nonverbal messages differ in many ways, the two forms of
communication operate together on most occasions. The following discussion
explains the many functions of nonverbal communication and shows how nonver-
bal messages relate to verbal ones.
Repeating
If someone asked you for directions to the nearest drugstore, you could say, “North
of here about two blocks,” repeating your instructions nonverbally by pointing north.
This sort of repetition isn’t just decorative: People remember comments accompa-
nied by gestures more than those made with words alone.36
Substituting
When a friend asks you what’s new, you might shrug your shoulders instead of
answering in words. Social scientists use the term emblems to describe deliber-
ate nonverbal behaviors that have precise meanings known to everyone within a
cultural group. For example, most Americans know that a head nod means “yes,”
a head shake means “no,” a wave means “hello” or “good-bye,” and a hand to the
ear means “I can’t hear you.” (These same gestures mean different things in other
cultures, which can cause a great deal of intercultural confusion, as you might
imagine.)
Not all substituting consists of emblems, however. Sometimes substituting
responses are more ambiguous and less intentional. A sigh, smile, or frown may
substitute for a verbal answer to your question, “How’s it going?” As this example
suggests, nonverbal substituting is especially important when people are reluc-
tant to express their feelings in words.
Complementing
Sometimes nonverbal behaviors match the content of a verbal message. Consider,
for example, a friend apologizing for forgetting an appointment with you. Your
friend’s sincerity will be reinforced if the verbal apology is accompanied by the
appropriate nonverbal behaviors: the right tone of voice, facial expression, and
so on. We often recognize the significance of complementary nonverbal behavior
when it is missing. If your friend’s apology is delivered with a shrug, a smirk, and
a light tone of voice, you will probably doubt its sincerity, no matter how profuse
the verbal explanation is.
Much complementing behavior consists of illustrators—nonverbal behaviors
that accompany and support spoken words. Scratching the head when searching
for an idea and snapping your fingers when it occurs are examples of illustra-
tors that complement verbal messages. Research shows that North Americans use
illustrators most often when they are emotionally aroused—when they are furi-
ous, horrified, very agitated, distressed, or excited, and when trying to explain
ideas that are difficult to put into words.37
Accenting
Just as we use italics to emphasize an idea in print, we use nonverbal devices to
emphasize oral messages. Pointing an accusing finger adds emphasis to criticism (as
well as probably creating defensiveness in the receiver). Stressing certain words with
the voice (“It was your idea!”) is another way to add nonverbal accents.
emblems Deliberate nonverbal behav-
iors with precise meanings, known to
virtually all members of a cultural group.
illustrators Nonverbal behaviors
that accompany and support verbal
messages.
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UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Nonverbal Expressiveness Online
Asterisks Enclosing a statement in asterisks can add the same sort of light emphasis. Instead of saying
I really want to hear from you,
you can say
I *really* want to hear from you.
Notice how changing the placement of asterisks produces a different message:
I really want to hear from *you*.
Capitalization Capitalizing a word or phrase can also emphasize the point:
I hate to be a pest, but I need the $20 you owe me TODAY.
Overuse of capitals can be offensive. Be sure to avoid typing messages in all uppercase letters, which creates the impression
of shouting:
HOW ARE YOU DOING? WE ARE HAVING A GREAT TIME HERE. BE SURE TO COME SEE US SOON.
Multiple Methods of Emphasis When you want to emphasize a point, you can use multiple methods:
I can’t believe you told the boss that I sleep with a teddy bear! I wanted to *die* of embarrassment. Please don’t *EVER*
**EVER** do that kind of thing again.
Communication scholars have characterized face-to-face
interaction as “rich” in nonverbal cues that convey feelings
and attitudes. Even telephone conversations carry a fair
amount of emotional information via the speakers’ vocal
qualities. By comparison, most text-based communication
online is relatively lean in relational information. With only
words, subtlety is lost. This is why hints and jokes that might
work well in person or on the phone often fail when commu-
nicated online.
Ever since the early days of email, online correspondents
have devised emoticons, using keystrokes to create sad
expressions :-(, surprised looks :-0, and more. Even now,
when graphic emojis are readily available, it’s difficult to
keep up with society’s craving for more nonverbal cues.
Recognizing the need for more than a thumbs-up or
thumbs-down image, in 2016 Facebook added a series
of new graphics to expand on the familiar but overused
“Like” button.
Regulating
Nonverbal behaviors can control the flow of verbal communication. For example,
parties in a conversation often unconsciously send and receive turn-taking cues.38
When you are ready to yield the floor, the unstated rule is as follows: Create a rising
vocal intonation pattern, then use a falling intonation pattern, or draw out the final
cultural idiom
the floor: the right or privilege to
speak
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syllable of the clause at the end of your statement. Finally, stop speaking. If you
want to maintain your turn when another speaker seems ready to cut you off, you
can suppress the attempt by taking an audible breath, using a sustained intonation
pattern (because rising and falling patterns suggest the end of a statement), and
avoiding any pauses in your speech. Other nonverbal cues exist for gaining the floor
and for signaling that you do not want to speak.
Contradicting
People often simultaneously express different and even contradictory messages in
their verbal and nonverbal behaviors. A common example of this sort of mixed
message is the experience we’ve all had of hearing someone with a red face and
bulging veins yelling, “Angry? No, I’m not angry!”
Even though some of the ways in which people contradict themselves are
subtle, mixed messages have a strong impact. Studies suggest that when a receiver
perceives an inconsistency between verbal and nonverbal messages, the nonverbal
one carries more weight—more than 12.5% more, according to some research.39
Many contradictions between verbal and nonverbal messages are uninten-
tional, revealing feelings that the person exhibiting them would rather keep
under cover. But there are other times when contradicting can be strategic. One
deliberate use of mixed messages is to save face by sending a nonverbal message
that might be awkward if expressed verbally. For example, think of a time when
you became bored with a conversation while your companion kept rambling on.
At such a time the most straightforward statement would be, “I’m tired of talking
to you and want you to stop talking.” Although it might feel good to be so direct, this
kind of honesty is impolite for anyone over 5 years of age. Instead of being blunt
in situations like this, a face-saving alternative is to express your interest nonver-
bally. While nodding politely and murmuring “uh-huh” and “no kidding?” at the
appropriate times, you can signal a desire to leave by looking around the room,
turning slightly away from the speaker, or even making a point of yawning. In
most cases such clues are enough to end the conversation without the awkward-
ness of expressing outright what’s going on.
Deceiving
Some people are better at hiding deceit than others. For example, most people
become more successful liars as they grow older. Research shows that this is espe-
cially true for women.40 High self-monitors (those who readily adapt their behavior
to suit the circumstances) are usually better at hiding their deception than com-
municators who are less self-aware, and raters typically judge highly expressive
liars as more honest than those who are more subdued.41 Not surprisingly, people
whose jobs require them to act differently than they feel—such as actors, lawyers,
diplomats, and salespeople—are more successful at deception than the general
population.42
Decades of research have revealed that there are no sure-fire nonverbal cues
that indicate deception.43 This fact helps explain why most people have only a
coin flip’s chance—50%—of accurately identifying a liar.44 We seem to be worse
at catching deceivers when we participate actively in conversations than when
we observe from the sidelines.45 It’s easiest to catch liars when they haven’t had a
chance to rehearse, when they feel strongly about the information being hidden,
or when they feel anxious or guilty about their lies.46 Trust (or lack of it) also plays
a role in which deceptive messages are successful: People who are suspicious that
a speaker may be lying pay closer attention to the speaker’s nonverbal behavior
(e.g., talking faster than normal, shifting posture) than do people who are not
suspicious.47 Table 6-3 lists situations in which deceptive messages are most likely
to be obvious.
cultural idioms
cut you off: to interrupt you
sure-fire: certain to succeed
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Some people are better than others at uncovering deception. For example,
women are consistently more accurate than men at detecting lying and what the
underlying truth is.48 The same research showed that, as people become more
intimate, their accuracy in detecting lies actually declines. This is a surprising
fact. Intuition suggests that we ought to be better at judging honesty as we become
more familiar with others. Perhaps an element of wishful thinking interferes with
our accurate decoding of these messages. After all, we would hate to think that a
lover would lie to us. When intimates do become suspicious, however, their ability
to recognize deception increases.49 Despite their overall accuracy at detecting lies,
women are more inclined to fall for the deception of intimate partners than men
are. No matter how skillful or inept we may be at interpreting nonverbal behavior,
training can make us better.
Communication scholars have studied deception detection for years. One
review of decades of research on the subject revealed three findings that have been
supported time and again in studies:
• We are accurate in detecting deception only slightly more than half the
time.
• We overestimate our abilities to detect others’ lies.
Leakage of Nonverbal Clues to Deception
DECEPTION CLUES ARE MOST LIKELY WHEN THE DECEIVER . . . DECEPTION CLUES ARE LEAST LIKELY WHEN THE DECEIVER . . .
Wants to hide emotions being experienced at the moment. Wants to hide information unrelated to his or her emotions.
Feels strongly about the information being hidden. Has no strong feelings about the information being hidden.
Feels apprehensive about the deception. Feels confident about the deception.
Feels guilty about being deceptive. Experiences little guilt about the deception.
Gets little enjoyment from being deceptive. Enjoys the deception.
Needs to construct the message carefully while delivering it. Knows the deceptive message well and has rehearsed it.
Source: Based on material from Ekman, P. (1981). Mistakes when deceiving. In T. A. Sebok & R. Rosenthal (Eds.), The Clever Hans phenomenon: Communication with horses,
whales, apes and people (pp. 269–278). New York: New York Academy of Sciences. See also Samhita, L., & Gross, H. J. (2013). The “Clever Hans phenomenon” revisited.
Communicative & Integrative Biology, 6(6), e27122. doi:10.4161/cib.27122
TABLE 6-3
Source: DILBERT © 2006 Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.
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• We have a strong tendency to judge others’ messages as truthful—in other
words, we want to believe people wouldn’t lie to us (which biases our abil-
ity to detect deceit).50
As one writer put it, “there is no unique telltale signal for a fib. Pinocchio’s
nose just doesn’t exist, and that makes liars difficult to spot.” Moreover, some
popular prescriptions about liars’ nonverbal behaviors simply aren’t accurate.51
For instance, conventional wisdom suggests that liars avert their gaze and fidget
more than nonliars. Research, however, shows just the opposite: Liars often sus-
tain more eye contact and fidget less, in part because they believe that to do other-
wise might look deceitful. Popular characterizations of “scientific” lie detection
aren’t helpful, either. One experiment found that viewers who watched the tele-
vision show Lie to Me (in which the lead character attempts to catch liars) were
actually worse at detecting lies than nonviewers, in part because the show focused
on nonverbal cues and ignored important verbal content.52
Before we finish considering how nonverbal behaviors can deceive, it’s impor-
tant to realize that not all deceptive communication is meant to take advantage
of the recipient. Sometimes we use nonverbal messages as a polite way to express
an idea that would be difficult to handle if expressed in words. In this sense, the
ability to deliberately send nonverbal messages that contradict your words can be
a kind of communication competence.
Types of Nonverbal
Communication
Now that you understand how nonverbal messages operate as a form of communi-
cation, we can look at the various forms of nonverbal behavior. The following pages
explain how our bodies, artifacts (such as clothing), environments, and the way we
use time all send messages.
Body Movements
For many people, the most noticeable elements of nonverbal communication
involve visible body movements. In the following pages, we will examine some of
the ways both the body and face can convey meanings.
Posture and Gesture Stop reading for a moment and notice how you are sitting.
What does your position say nonverbally about how you feel? Are there other
people near you now? What messages do you get from their posture and move-
ments? Tune your television to any program or watch a randomly selected clip
on YouTube, and without turning up the sound, see what messages are commu-
nicated by the movements and body position of the people on the screen. These
simple experiments illustrate the communicative power of kinesics, the study of
body movement, gesture, and posture.
Posture is a rich channel for conveying nonverbal information. From time
to time postural messages are obvious. If you see a person drag him- or her-
self through the door or slump over while sitting in a chair, it’s apparent that
something significant is going on. But most postural cues are more subtle. For
instance, the act of mirroring the posture of another person can have positive
consequences. One experiment showed that career counselors who used “posture
echoes” to copy the postures of clients were rated as more empathic than those
who did not reflect the clients’ postures.53 Researchers have also found that part-
ners in romantic relationships mirror each other’s behaviors.54
kinesics The study of body movement,
gesture, and posture.
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Posture can communicate vulnerability in situations far more serious than mere
social or business settings. One study revealed that rapists sometimes use postural
clues to select victims that they believe will be easy to intimidate.55 Easy targets are
more likely to walk slowly and tentatively, stare at the ground, and move their arms
and legs in short, jerky motions.
Amy Cuddy, whose work on power poses begins this chapter, has found that
people who act confident for 2 minutes tend to feel more confident as a result.
They even experience physical changes in the way their bodies cope with stress.56
Consequently, they often perform better during job interviews and other stress-
ful situations.57 Although you probably wouldn’t adopt a Wonder Woman stance
during a job interview, it’s a good idea to demonstrate in other ways that you
are confident and attentive. Over time, by adopting confident body language in
public and in private, people tend to become more confident in general. As Cuddy
puts it, it’s a process of “faking it ‘til you become it.”58
Gestures are a fundamental element of communication—so fundamental,
in fact, that people who have been blind from birth use them.59 One group of
ambiguous gestures consists of what we usually call fidgeting—movements in
which one part of the body grooms, massages, rubs, holds, pinches, picks, or
otherwise manipulates another body part. Social scientists call these behaviors
manipulators.60 Social rules may discourage us from performing most manipu-
lators in public, but people still do so without noticing. For example, one study
revealed that deceivers bob their heads more often than truth tellers.61 Research
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal Communication Skills?
How well can you match the following nonverbal behaviors to their meanings in
different cultures? (Note that the same behavior has multiple meanings in differ-
ent cultures, so you can use it more than once.) _ We’re a couple. (United States)_ This is worthless. [vulgar] (France)_ Hook ’em horns. (United States)_ Please give me money. (Japan)_ I defy or reject you. [vulgar] (Australia, Greece, the Middle East)_ We respect each other. (Arab countries)_ OK. (United States)_ Come here. (United States)_ I’ve got your nose! (United States)_ You are as lowly as a dog. [vulgar] (Asia)_ I’d like to smear excrement on your face. (Greece)_ A sign of the devil. (Italy)_ You’re an a**hole. [vulgar] (Latin America)_ Please stop, or tell it to the hand. (United States)_ I agree. (United States)_ I cannot do what you have asked. (Turkey)
1. Thumb and forefinger form a circle,
while the other three fingers are spread
out.
2. Two men hold hands in public.
3. Pinkie and pointer finger point straight
up, while thumb holds the two middle
fingers down.
4. Palm is held flat up toward another
person.
5. Hand is in fist with thumb poking out
between the forefinger and middle
finger.
6. Palm up, thumb holding all fingers
except the pointer, which alternately
straightens and curls.
7. Hand is in a fist with thumb pointing up.
The answers
appear at the end of
the chapter, on p. 179.
manipulators Movements in which
one part of the body grooms, massages,
rubs, holds, pinches, picks, or otherwise
manipulates another part.
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confirms what common sense suggests—that increased use of manipulators is
often a sign of discomfort.62 But not all fidgeting signals uneasiness. People also
are likely to use manipulators when relaxed. When they let their guard down
(either alone or with friends), they will be more likely to fiddle with an earlobe,
twirl a strand of hair, or clean their fingernails. Whether or not the fidgeter is
hiding something, observers are likely to interpret manipulators as a signal of
dishonesty. Because not all fidgeters are liars, it’s important not to jump to conclu-
sions about the meaning of manipulators.
Face and Eyes How important is eye contact? A look at the cereal aisle in the
grocery store will suggest an answer. Check out the old favorites—the Quaker
Oats man, the Trix rabbit, the Sun-Maid girl, and Aunt Jemima. All of them will
be looking back at you. Researchers at Cornell University found that subjects were
more likely to choose Trix over competing brands if the rabbit was looking at
them rather than away.63 “Making eye contact even with a character on a cereal
box inspires powerful feelings of connection,” said Brian Wansink, one of the
study’s authors.64
Our need for eye contact begins at birth. Newborns instinctively lock eyes with
their caregivers,65 and lack of early eye contact can be an early sign of autism.66
Researchers have also found that children and infants who avoid eye contact are
more likely to exhibit antisocial behaviors.67
The face and eyes are probably the most noticed parts of the body, and their
impact is powerful. For example, looking at a conversational partner enhances
evaluations of intelligence.68 Smiling cocktail waitresses earn larger tips than
unsmiling ones, and smiling nuns collect larger donations than ones with glum
expressions.69 The influence of facial expressions and eye contact doesn’t mean
that their nonverbal messages are always easy to read. The face is a complicated
channel of expression for several reasons. One reason is the number of expres-
sions people can produce. Another is the speed with which they can change. For
example, slow-motion films have been taken that show expressions fleeting across
a subject’s face in as short a time as a fifth of a second. Finally, it seems that differ-
ent emotions show most clearly in different parts of the face: happiness and sur-
prise in the eyes and lower face, anger in the lower face and brows and forehead,
fear and sadness in the eyes, and disgust in the lower face.
Expressions reflecting many emotions seem to be recognizable in and between
members of all cultures.70 Of course, affect blends—the combination of two or
more expressions showing different emotions—are possible. For instance, it’s easy
to imagine how someone would look who is fearful and surprised or disgusted
and angry.
Research indicates that people are quite accurate at judging facial expressions
of these emotions.71 Accuracy increases when judges know the “target” or have
knowledge of the context in which the expression occurs, or when they have seen
several samples of the target’s expressions.
In mainstream Euro-American culture, meeting someone’s glance with your
eyes is usually a sign of involvement or interest, whereas looking away signals a
desire to avoid contact. Prolonged eye contact has been identified by researchers
as one of the main ways people indicate attraction.72
Solicitors on the street—panhandlers, salespeople, petitioners—try to catch
our eye because after they’ve managed to establish contact with a glance, it
becomes harder for the approached person to draw away.
Voice
The voice is another form of nonverbal communication. Social scientists use the
term paralanguage to describe nonverbal, vocal messages. You can begin to
Despite our best efforts to conceal
emotions, the face can offer revealing
clues about how others feel.
What can you learn by paying more
attention to facial expressions?
cultural idiom
let their guard down: act or speak
naturally without worrying how others
will react
affect blend The combination of two
or more expressions, each showing a dif-
ferent emotion.
paralanguage Nonlinguistic means of
vocal expression: rate, pitch, tone, and
so on.
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understand the power of vocal cues by considering how the meaning of a simple
sentence can change just by shifting the emphasis from word to word:
• This is a fantastic communication book.
(Not just any book, but this one in particular.)
• This is a fantastic communication book.
(This book is superior, exciting.)
• This is a fantastic communication book.
(The book is good as far as communication goes; it may not be so good as
literature or drama.)
• This is a fantastic communication book.
(It’s not a play or movie; it’s a book.)
“Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences.”
@WORK
Vocal Cues and Career Success
Vocal cues “show that we are alive inside—thoughtful,
active . . . Text strips that out,” said Nicholas Epley, a professor
of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School
of Business and one of two co authors of the paper “The Sound
of Intellect,” recently published in Psychological Science.
In an experiment presented in the paper, MBA candidates
were asked to prepare a 2-minute pitch to a prospective
employer. The researchers recorded these pitches and
recruited 162 people to evaluate them. Some of the evalu-
ators watched the video; a second group listened to the
audio only; a third group read a transcript of the pitch. The
evaluators who heard the pitch—via audio or video—rated
the candidates’ intellect higher than those who read the
transcript. In a second experiment, evaluators read a pitch
specifically drafted by candidates to be read, rather than
spoken. The result was the same.
One implication is that, whenever possible, it’s a good idea
to meet with prospective employers in person. Résumés and
cover letters, although indispensable, probably don’t have
the impact of a nonverbally rich interaction.
Source: Alex Gregory The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
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The impact of paralinguistic cues is strong. In fact, research
shows that listeners pay more attention to the vocal messages
than to the words that are spoken when asked to determine a
speaker’s attitudes.73 Furthermore, when vocal factors contra-
dict a verbal message, listeners judge the speaker’s intention
from the paralanguage, not from the words themselves.74
There are many other ways the voice communicates—
through tone, speed, pitch, volume, number and length of
pauses, and disfluencies (such as stammering and use of “uh,”
“um,” “er,” and so on). All these factors can do a great deal to
reinforce or contradict the message our words convey.
Sarcasm is one instance in which both emphasis and tone
of voice help change a statement’s meaning to the opposite of
its verbal message. Experience this yourself with the following
three statements. The first time through, say them literally, and
then say them sarcastically.
• Thanks for waking me up.
• I really had a wonderful time on my blind date.
• There’s nothing I like better than waking up before sunrise.
Researchers have identified the communicative value of paralanguage through
the use of content-free speech—ordinary speech that has been electronically
manipulated so that the words are unintelligible, but the paralanguage remains
unaffected. (Hearing a foreign language that you do not understand has the same
effect.) Subjects who hear content-free speech can consistently recognize the emo-
tion being expressed, as well as identifying its strength.75
Paralanguage can affect behavior in many ways, some of which are rather
surprising. Researchers have discovered that communicators are most likely to
comply with requests delivered by speakers whose speaking rates are similar to
their own.76 Besides complying with same-rate speakers, listeners also feel more
positively about people who seem to talk at their own rate.
Some vocal factors influence the way a speaker is perceived by others. For
example, communicators who speak loudly and without hesitations are viewed
as more confident than those who pause and speak quietly.77 People who speak
more slowly are judged as having greater conversational control than fast talkers.78
Research has also demonstrated that people with more attractive voices are rated
more highly than those whose voices sound less attractive.79 Along with vocal
qualities, accent can shape perceptions. For example, the accents of some nonna-
tive English-speaking job seekers (e.g., those with a pronounced French accent)
created favorable impressions with employers, whereas other strong accents (e.g.,
Japanese) had the opposite effect.80
Appearance
How we appear can be just as revealing as how we sound and move. For that reason,
let’s explore the communicative power of physical attractiveness and clothing.
Physical Attractiveness Most people claim that looks aren’t the best measure of
desirability or character, but they typically prefer others whom they find attrac-
tive.81 For example, women who are perceived as attractive have more dates,
receive higher grades in college, persuade males with greater ease, and receive
shorter court sentences. Both men and women whom others view as attractive are
rated as being more sensitive, kind, strong, sociable, and interesting than their
less attractive brothers and sisters.
What counts as attractive varies by
geography and coculture. The eclectic
look satirized in the TV comedy
Portlandia (top) is quite different from the
New York high fashion styles featured in
Project Runway.
What qualities are considered attractive
in your social circles?
disfluencies Vocal interruptions such
as stammering and use of “uh,” “um,”
and “er.”
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Who is most likely to succeed in business? Place your bet on the attractive job
applicant. More than 200 managers in one survey admitted that attractive people
get preferential treatment both in hiring decisions and on the job.82 Height is also
a factor. Shorter men have more difficulty finding jobs in the first place, and men
over 6 feet 2 inches receive starting salaries that average 12.4% higher than com-
parable applicants under 6 feet.83 Based on one study of male earnings, the salary
differential is about 2% per inch, which means that a man who is 5 feet 8 inches
will earn about $300 a year more (at U.S. minimum wage) than a man who is 5
feet 7 inches, and so on.84 Consistent with that, tall presidential candidates are
historically more likely to win than short ones.
This attractiveness bias has been referred to as “lookism” and can lead to the
same kinds of prejudice as racism and sexism.85 For instance, research shows that
women gain an 8% wage bonus for above-average looks and they pay a 4% wage
penalty for below-average appearance. For men, the attractiveness wage bonus is
only 4%; however, the penalty for below-average looks is a full 13%. Occasionally
physical attractiveness has a negative effect: Interviewers may turn down good-
looking candidates because they are perceived as threats.86 While attractiveness
generally gets rewarded, glamorous beauty can be intimidating.87
Fortunately, attractiveness is something we can control without having to call
a plastic surgeon. If you aren’t totally gorgeous or handsome, don’t despair. Evi-
dence suggests that, as we get to know more about people and like them, we start
to regard them as better looking.88 Moreover, we view others as beautiful or ugly
on the basis of not just their “original equipment” but also how they use that
equipment. Posture, gestures, facial expressions, and other behaviors can increase
the attractiveness of an otherwise unremarkable person. Finally, the way we dress
can make a significant difference in the way others perceive us, as you’ll now see.
Clothing Besides protecting us from the elements, clothing is a means of non-
verbal communication, providing a relatively straightforward (if sometimes
expensive) method of impression management. Clothing can be used to convey,
for example, economic status, educational level, social status, moral standards,
athletic ability and/or interests, belief system (political, philosophical, religious),
and level of sophistication.
Research shows that we make assumptions about people based on their cloth-
ing. Communicators who wear special clothing often gain persuasiveness. For
example, experimenters dressed in uniforms resembling police officers were more
successful than those dressed in civilian clothing in requesting pedestrians to
pick up litter and in persuading them to lend a dime for a parking meter to a
motorist.89 Likewise, solicitors wearing a sheriff ’s or nurse’s uniform increased the
level of contributions to law enforcement and health care campaigns.90
The effects of clothing operate in other contexts as well. Medical patients are
significantly more willing to share their social, sexual, and psychological prob-
lems with doctors wearing white coats or surgical scrubs than those wearing busi-
ness dress or casual attire.91 Along with uniforms, clothing style can shape others’
reactions. Pedestrians are more likely to return lost coins to well-dressed people
than to those dressed in low-status clothing.92 Women who are wearing a jacket
are rated as being more powerful than those wearing only a dress or skirt and
blouse.93
As we get to know others better, the importance of clothing shrinks.94 This
fact suggests that clothing is especially important in the early stages of a relation-
ship, when making a positive first impression encourages others to get to know us
better. This advice is equally important in personal situations and in employment
interviews. In both cases, your style of dress (and personal grooming) can make
the difference between the chance to progress further and outright rejection.
cultural idiom
place your bet: predict with
confidence
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Clothing and Impression
Management
Identify three occasions in which you
successfully used clothing to create a
favorable but inaccurate impression. What
were the consequences of this deception
for others? Based on your conclusions,
define any situations when clothing may be
used as an unethical means of impression
management. List both “misdemeanors,”
in which the consequences are not likely to
cause serious harm, and “felonies,” in which
the deception has the potential to cause
serious harm.
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Touch
Physical touch can “speak” volumes. A supportive pat on the back, a high five, or
even an inappropriate graze can be more powerful than words, eliciting a strong
emotional reaction in the receiver. Social scientists use the term haptics when they
refer to the study of touch in human behavior.
Experts argue that one reason actions speak louder than words is because touch
is the first language we learn as infants.95 Besides being the earliest means we have
of making contact with others, touching is essential to healthy development.96
During the 19th and early 20th centuries many babies died from a disease then
called marasmus, which, translated from Greek, means “wasting away.” In some
orphanages the mortality rate was quite high, but even children in “progressive”
homes, hospitals, and other institutions died regularly from the ailment. When
researchers finally tracked down the causes of this disease, they found that many
infants suffered from lack of physical contact with parents or nurses rather than
poor nutrition, medical care, or other factors. They hadn’t been touched enough,
and as a result they died. From this knowledge came the practice of “mothering”
children in institutions—picking babies up, carrying them around, and handling
them several times each day. At one hospital that began this practice, the death
rate for infants fell from between 30% and 35% to below 10%.97
Touch seems to increase a child’s mental functioning as well as physical
health. Babies who have been given plenty of physical stimulation by their moth-
ers develop significantly higher IQs than those receiving less contact. By contrast,
insufficient physical contact correlates with social problems including communi-
cation apprehension and low self-disclosure.98
Touch also increases compliance.99 In one study, people were asked by a male
or female confederate to sign a petition or complete a rating scale. People were
more likely to cooperate when they were touched lightly on the arm. In one varia-
tion of the study, 70% of those who were touched complied, whereas only 40% of
the untouched people complied.100 An additional power of touch is its on-the-job
utility. One study showed that fleeting touches on the hand and shoulder resulted
in larger tips for restaurant servers.101
@WORK
Touch and Career Success
The old phrase “keeping in touch” takes on new meaning
once you understand the relationship between haptics and
career effectiveness.
Some of the most pronounced benefits of touching occur in
medicine and the health and helping professions. For exam-
ple, patients are more likely to take their medicines when
physicians give a slight touch while prescribing them.102 In
counseling, touch often increases self-disclosure and verbal-
ization of psychiatric patients.103
Touch can also enhance success in sales and marketing.
Touching customers in a store increases their shopping
time, their evaluation of the store, and also the amount of
shopping.104 When an offer to try samples of a product is
accompanied by a touch, customers are more likely to try the
sample and buy the product.105
Touch also has an impact in school. Students are twice
as likely to volunteer and speak up in class if they have
received a supportive touch on the back or arm from their
teacher.106
Even athletes benefit from touch. One study of the National
Basketball Association revealed that the touchiest teams
had the most successful records, whereas in the lowest
scoring teams, the team members touched one another the
least.107
Of course, touch has to be culturally appropriate. Further-
more, touching by itself is no guarantee of success, and too
much contact can be bothersome, annoying, or even down-
right creepy. But research confirms that appropriate contact
can enhance your success.
haptics The study of touch.
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Space
There are two ways that the use of space can create nonverbal messages: the distance
we put between ourselves and the territory we consider our own. We’ll now look at
each of these dimensions.
Distance The study of the way people and animals use space has been termed
proxemics. Preferred spaces are largely a matter of cultural norms. For example,
people living in hyperdense Hong Kong manage to live in crowded residential
quarters that most North Americans would find intolerable.108 Anthropologist
Edward T. Hall has defined four distances used in mainstream North American
culture.109 He says that we choose a particular distance depending on how we feel
toward the other person at a given time, the context of the conversation, and our
personal goals.
Intimate distance begins with skin contact and ranges to about 18 inches.
The most obvious context for intimate distance involves interaction with people
to whom we’re emotionally close—and then mostly in private situations. Inti-
mate distance between individuals also occurs in less intimate circumstances:
visiting the doctor or dentist, at the hairdresser’s, and during some athletic
contests. Allowing someone to move into the intimate zone usually is a sign
of trust.
Personal distance ranges from 18 inches at its closest point to 4 feet at its
farthest. The closer range is the distance at which most relational partners stand
in public. We are uncomfortable if someone else “moves
in” to this area without invitation. The far range of per-
sonal distance runs from about 2.5 to 4 feet. This is the
zone just beyond the other person’s reach—the distance
at which we can keep someone “at arm’s length.” This
term suggests the type of communication that goes on
at this range: Interaction is still reasonably personal,
but less so than communication that occurs a foot or
so closer.
Social distance ranges from 4 to about 12 feet.
Within it are the kinds of communication that usually
occur in business situations. Its closer range, from 4 to
7 feet, is the distance at which conversations usually
occur between salespeople and customers and between
people who work together. We use the far range of social
distance—7 to 12 feet—for more formal and impersonal
situations. This is the distance apart we generally sit from
the boss.
Public distance is Hall’s term for the farthest
zone, running outward from 12 feet. The closer range
of public distance is the one most teachers use in the
classroom. In the farther range of public space—25 feet
and beyond—two-way communication becomes dif-
ficult. In some cases, it’s necessary for speakers to use
public distance owing to the size of their audience, but
we can assume that anyone who voluntarily chooses to
use it when he or she could be closer is not interested in
having a dialogue.
Choosing the optimal distance can have a powerful
effect on how others respond to us. For example, students
are more satisfied with teachers who reduce the distance
between themselves and their classes. They also are more
The rules of personal space are revealed most powerfully when they’re
broken.
Have you ever invaded someone’s personal space? Have you ever been
unexpectedly standoffish? What were the consequences?
proxemics The study of how people
and animals use space.
intimate distance One of Hall’s four
distance zones, ranging from skin con-
tact to 18 inches.
personal distance One of Hall’s four
distance zones, ranging from 18 inches
to 4 feet.
social distance One of Hall’s four dis-
tance zones, ranging from 4 to 12 feet.
public distance One of Hall’s four
distance zones, extending outward from
12 feet.
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satisfied with the course itself, and they are more likely to follow the teacher’s
instructions.110 Likewise, medical patients are more satisfied with physicians who
don’t “keep their distance.”111
Territoriality Whereas personal space is the invisible bubble we carry around
as an extension of our physical being, territory is fixed space. Any area, such
as a room, house, neighborhood, or country, to which we assume some kind of
“rights” is our territory. Not all territory is permanent. We often stake out space
for ourselves in the library, at the beach, and so on by using markers such as
books, clothing, or other personal possessions.
The way people use space can communicate a good deal about power and
status relationships. Generally, we grant people with higher status more per-
sonal territory and greater privacy.112 We knock before entering the boss’s office,
whereas a boss can usually walk into our work area without hesitating. In tradi-
tional schools, professors have offices, dining rooms, and even restrooms that
are private, whereas the students, who are treated as less important, have no such
sanctuaries. In the military, greater space and privacy usually come with rank: Pri-
vates sleep 40 to a barracks, sergeants have their own private rooms, and generals
have government-provided houses.
Environment
The physical environment people create can both reflect and shape interac-
tion. This principle is illustrated right at home. Researchers showed 99 stu-
dents slides of the insides or outsides of 12 upper-middle-class homes and then
asked them to infer the personality of the owners from their impressions.113 The
students were especially accurate after glancing at interior photos. The deco-
rating schemes communicated accurate information about the homeowners’
intellectualism, politeness, maturity, optimism, tenseness, willingness to take
adventures, family orientations, and reservedness. The home exteriors also gave
viewers accurate perceptions of the owners’ artistic interests, graciousness, pri-
vacy, and quietness.
Besides communicating information about the designer, an environment
can shape the kind of interaction that takes place in it. In a classic experiment,
researchers found that the attractiveness of a room influenced the happiness
and energy of the people working in it.114 The experimenters set up three
rooms: an “ugly” one, which resembled a janitor’s closet in the basement of
a campus building; an “average” room, which was a professor’s office; and a
“beautiful” room, which was furnished with stylish and comfortable furnish-
ings. The subjects in the experiment were asked to rate a series of pictures
as a way of measuring their energy and feelings of well-being while at work.
Results of the experiment showed that while in the ugly room the subjects
became tired and bored more quickly and took longer to complete their task.
When they moved to the beautiful room, however, they rated the faces they
were judging higher, showed a greater desire to work, and expressed feelings
of importance, comfort, and enjoyment. The results teach a lesson that isn’t
surprising: Workers generally feel better and do a better job when they’re in an
attractive environment.
The design of an entire building can shape communication among its users.
Architects have learned that the way housing projects are designed controls to
a great extent the contact neighbors have with one another. People who live in
apartments near stairways and mailboxes have many more neighbor contacts
than do those living in less heavily traveled parts of the building, and tenants
generally have more contacts with immediate neighbors than with people even a
few doors away.115
The environment people inhabit makes
a statement about the kind of people
they are.
What messages does the environment
you create say about you?
territory Fixed space that an individual
assumes some right to occupy.
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So far we have talked about how designing an environment can shape commu-
nication, but there is another side to consider. Watching how people use an already
existing environment can be a way of telling what kind of relationships they want.
For example, Robert Sommer watched students in a college library and found that
there’s a definite pattern for people who want to study alone. While the library was
uncrowded, students almost always chose corner seats at one of the empty rectan-
gular tables.116 At that point, new readers choose seats on the opposite side of occu-
pied tables, thus keeping the maximum distance between themselves and the other
readers. One of Sommer’s associates tried violating these “rules” by sitting next to,
and across from, other female readers when more distant seats were available. She
found that the approached women reacted defensively, either by signaling their
discomfort through shifts in posture or gesturing or by eventually moving away.
Time
Social scientists use the term chronemics for the study of how human beings use
and structure time.117 The way we handle time can express both intentional and
unintentional messages.118 Social psychologist Robert Levine describes several ways
that time can communicate.119 For instance, in a culture that values time highly, like
the United States, waiting can be an indicator of status. “Important” people (whose
time is supposedly more valuable than that of others) may be seen by appointment
only, whereas it is acceptable to intrude without notice on lesser beings. To see how
this rule operates, consider how natural it is for a boss to drop in to a subordinate’s
office unannounced, whereas some employees would never intrude into the boss’s
office without an appointment. A related rule is that low-status people must never
make more important people wait. It would be a serious mistake to show up late
for a job interview, although the interviewer might keep you cooling your heels in
the lobby. Important people are often whisked to the head of a restaurant or airport
line, whereas the presumably less exalted are forced to wait their turn.
Similar principles apply beyond work. For example, when singer Justin Bieber
took the stage almost 2 hours late at a sold-out concert in London, his fans were
outraged and took to Twitter and other social media to complain. Bieber’s man-
agement of time sent an unspoken message to many fans: “My life is more impor-
tant than yours.”
The use of time depends greatly on culture.120 Some cultures (e.g., North Amer-
ican, German, and Swiss) tend to be monochronic, emphasizing punctuality,
schedules, and completing one task at a time. Other cultures (e.g., South Ameri-
can, Mediterranean, and Arab) are more polychronic, with flexible schedules in
which multiple tasks are pursued at the same time. One psychologist discovered
the difference between North and South American attitudes when teaching at a
university in Brazil.121 He found that some students arrived halfway through a
2-hour class and that most of them stayed put and kept asking questions when
the class was scheduled to end. A half hour after the official end of the class, the
professor finally closed off discussion, because there was no indication that the
students intended to leave. This flexibility of time is quite different from what is
common in most North American colleges!
Even within a culture, rules of time vary. Sometimes the differences are geo-
graphic. In New York City, the party invitation may say “9 P.M.,” but nobody would
think of showing up before 9:30. In Salt Lake City, guests are expected to show up
on time, or perhaps even a bit early.122 Even within the same geographic area, dif-
ferent groups establish their own rules about the use of time. Consider your own
experience. In school, some instructors begin and end class punctually, whereas
others are more casual. With some people you feel comfortable talking for hours
in person or on the phone, whereas with others time seems to be precious and not
meant to be “wasted.”
cultural idioms
cooling your heels: waiting
impatiently
stayed put: remained in place
chronemics The study of how
humans use and structure time.
monochronic The use of time that
emphasizes punctuality, schedules, and
completing one task at a time.
polychronic The use of time that
emphasizes flexible schedules in which
multiple tasks are pursued at the same
time.
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Building Competence in Nonverbal
Communication
By now you should appreciate the wealth of messages expressed nonverbally. You
can use this information to develop your communication skills in two respects—by
being more attuned to others and by becoming more aware of your own nonverbal
messages.
Tune Out Words
It’s easy to overlook important nonverbal cues when you’re only listening to the
words being spoken. As you’ve already read, words sometimes hide, or even con-
tradict, a speaker’s true feelings (e.g., “I see your point,” spoken with a frown). Even
when spoken words accurately reflect the speaker’s thoughts, nonverbal cues can
reveal important information about feelings and attitudes.
You can develop skill in recognizing nonverbal cues by tuning out the con-
tent of a speaker’s language. Because ignoring what your conversational partner is
saying can be antagonizing, try focusing on a video or TV program in a language
you don’t understand. That way you can attend to vocal qualities as well as pos-
tures, gestures, facial expressions, and other cues. Once recognizing nonverbal
cues has become second nature, you’ll find it easier to tune in to them in your
everyday conversations
Use Perception Checking
Because nonverbal behaviors are ambiguous, it’s important to consider your inter-
pretations as educated guesses, not absolute translations. The yawn that interrupts a
story you’re telling may signal boredom, but it might also be a sign that the listener
is recovering from a sleepless night. Likewise, the impatient tone that greets your
suggestion may be aimed at you, or it could mean that your conversational partner
is having a bad day.
Perception checking (Chapter 2, pages 54–55) is one way to explore the sig-
nificance of nonverbal cues. Instead of reading the other person’s mind, describe
the behavior you’ve noted, share at least two possible interpretations, and ask
for clarification about how to interpret the behavior. With practice, perception
checks can sound natural and reflect your genuine desire to understand:
To a friend: At the party last night you said you were tired and left early
(behavior). I wasn’t sure whether you were bored (first interpretation) or
whether something else was bothering you (second interpretation). Or
maybe you were just tired (third interpretation). What was going on?
At work: I need to ask you about something that happened at the end of
yesterday’s meeting. When I started to ask about the vacation schedule,
you interrupted me and said we were running over time and you had to
make an important phone call. I’m wondering whether the phone call
was the only reason you cut me off, or whether you think I said some-
thing wrong. Can you fill me in?
Not every situation is important enough to call for a perception check, and
sometimes the meaning of nonverbal cues may seem so clear that you don’t need
to investigate. But there will certainly be times when exploring alternate interpre-
tations is better than jumping to conclusions.
Melissa McCarthy is known for playing
characters who are comically awkward
in terms of body movements and facial
expressions. The paradox is that playing
those roles effectively requires that she
have a keen sense for nonverbal cues.
How might you use nonverbal cues to
enhance the impact of a joke or a story?
177
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CHAPTER 6 Review
Pay Attention to Your Own Nonverbal Behavior
Along with attending more carefully to the unspoken messages of others, there’s
value in monitoring your own nonverbal behavior.
You can gain appreciation for this by asking someone to record a video of
you when you aren’t aware and self-conscious about them doing it. If you’re like
most people, you’re likely to be surprised by at least some of what you see. Most
of us have blind spots when it comes to our own communication.123 For exam-
ple, we sometimes overestimate how well we are hiding our anxiety, boredom,
or eagerness from others. With this in mind, consider the following questions
honestly: How does your voice sound? How closely does your appearance match
what you’ve imagined? What messages do your posture, gestures, and face convey?
Once you have a sense of your most notable nonverbal behaviors, you can
monitor them without the need for technology.
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Explain the characteristics of nonver-
bal communication and the social goals it serves.
• Nonverbal communication helps us manage our identi-
ties, define relationships, and convey emotions.
• It is impossible not to communicate nonverbally.
Humans constantly send messages about themselves that
are available for others to receive.
• Nonverbal communication is ambiguous. There are
many possible interpretations for any behavior. This
ambiguity makes it important for the receiver to verify
any interpretation before jumping to conclusions about
the meaning of a nonverbal message.
• Nonverbal communication is different from verbal com-
munication in complexity, flow, clarity, impact, and
intentionality.
> Describe three messages that qualify as nonverbal
communication and one message that is verbal.
Explain the difference between the two types.
> Considering that people cannot not communicate,
what messages do you think you send nonverbally to
strangers who observe you in public?
> If a friend were preparing for a job interview and
asked your advice about appearing and feeling con-
fident, what advice would you give about managing
his or her nonverbal communication?
6.1
OBJECTIVE Explain the ways in which nonverbal
communication reflects culture and gender differences.
• Gestures may be interpreted entirely differently by mem-
bers of different cultures.
• In some cultures, eye contact is interpreted as a sign of
attentiveness, in others as a challenge or indication of
disrespect.
• In general, women are socialized to be more attentive to
nonverbal cues than are men.
> How would you explain the reasons that men and
women may use and interpret nonverbal cues
differently?
> Name three rules of appropriateness for making or
avoiding eye contact that are familiar to you, but may
be unfamiliar to someone from a different culture.
> What advice would you offer someone who is pack-
ing clothing for a trip during which she will encoun-
ter people from many different cultures?
OBJECTIVE Describe the functions served by non-
verbal communication.
• Nonverbal communication serves many functions: repeat-
ing, substituting, complementing, accenting, regulating,
and contradicting verbal behavior, as well as deceiving.
• Emblems describe deliberate nonverbal behaviors that
have precise meanings known to everyone within a cul-
tural group.
• Illustrators are nonverbal behaviors that accompany and
support spoken words.
6.2
6.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 6 Nonverbal Communication178
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KEY TERMS
affect blend p. 168
affect displays p. 157
chronemics p. 175
disfluencies p. 170
emblems p. 162
haptics p. 172
illustrators p. 162
intimate distance p. 173
kinesics p. 166
manipulators p. 167
monochronic p. 175
nonverbal communication p. 155
paralanguage p. 168
personal distance p. 173
polychronic p. 175
proxemics p. 173
public distance p. 173
social distance p. 173
territory p. 174
ACTIVITIES
1. Culture and Nonverbal Communication
a. Identify at least three significant differences between non-
verbal practices in two cultures or cocultures (e.g., ethnic,
age, or socioeconomic groups) within your own society.
b. Describe the potential difficulties that could arise out
of the differing nonverbal practices when members
from the cultural groups interact. Are there any ways
of avoiding these difficulties?
c. Now describe the advantages that might come from
differing cultural nonverbal practices. How might
people from diverse backgrounds profit by encounter-
ing one another’s customs and norms?
2. Building Vocal Fluency You can become more adept at
both conveying and interpreting vocal messages by fol-
lowing these directions.
a. Join with a partner and designate one person A and
the other B.
b. Partner A should choose a passage of 25 to 50 words
from a newspaper or magazine, using his or her voice
to convey one of the following attitudes:
> Egotism
> Friendliness
> Insecurity
> Irritation
> Confidence
• High self-monitors are usually better at hiding their
deception than communicators who are less self-aware.
> Give an example of each of the following nonverbal
behaviors: repeating, substituting for, complementing,
accenting, regulating, and contradicting verbal messages.
> Observe a conversation for at least 10 minutes, noting as
many examples as you can of emblems and illustrators.
> Try interacting with people for an hour without using
words, then reflect on the experience. What were
you able to convey easily through nonverbal means?
What was most difficult?
OBJECTIVE List the types of nonverbal communi-
cation, and explain how each operates in everyday inter-
action.
• We communicate nonverbally in many ways: through
posture, gesture, use of the face and eyes, voice, physical
attractiveness and clothing, touch, distance and territori-
ality, environment, and time.
• Kinesics is the study of body movement, gesture, and posture.
• Disfluencies are vocal interruptions such as stammering
and using “uh,” “um,” “er,” and so on.
• Affect blends are combinations of two or more expres-
sions showing different emotions.
• Members of some cultures tend to be monochronic,
whereas others are more polychronic.
> Describe the difference between a monochromic
time orientation and a polychromic orientation.
> Pause to look at your surroundings. How conducive
are they to a positive state of mind? To social interac-
tion or contemplation? How does your environment
influence the way you feel right now?
> Keep a tally of how many disfluencies you utter in
one day. Consider whether you are happy with the
results. If not, what would you like to change?
OBJECTIVE Demonstrate competence in assessing
the nonverbal communication of others and managing
your own nonverbal messages.
• You can practice by tuning out the content of others’
speech and focusing on their behavior, using perception
checking, and attending to your own nonverbal cues.
> Describe the steps in perception checking, and give
an example of each.
> Try this experiment: Turn down the sound on a
movie or TV show you have never seen. Invite a
group of friends to guess what the characters are feel-
ing. See how your interpretations compare.
> Notice the nonverbal cues of someone around you
right now. Write down two or three interpretations
of how that person is feeling. Ask if any of them are
accurate.
6.4
6.5
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CHAPTER 6 Review
> Were some emotions easier to guess than others?
> Given the accuracy of your guesses, how would
you assess your ability to interpret vocal cues?
> How can you use your increased sensitivity to
vocal cues to improve your everyday communi-
cation competence?
c. Partner B should try to detect the emotion being
conveyed.
d. Switch roles and repeat the process. Continue alter-
nating roles until each of you has both conveyed and
tried to interpret at least four emotions.
e. After completing the preceding steps, discuss the fol-
lowing questions:
> What vocal cues did you use to make your
guesses?
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
ANSWERS to “How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal Communication Skills?”
from p. 167.
_2 We’re a couple. (United States)_1 This is worthless. [vulgar] (France)_3 Hook ’em horns. (United States, made popular by University of Texas
Longhorns fans)_1 Please give me money. (Japan)_7 I defy or reject you. [vulgar] (Australia, Greece, the Middle East)_2 We respect each other. (Arab countries)_1,7 OK. (United States)_6 Come here. (United States)_5 I’ve got your nose! (often said playfully to children in the United States)_6 You are as lowly as a dog. [vulgar] (Asia)_4 I’d like to smear excrement over your face. [vulgar] (Greece)_3 A sign of the devil. (Italy)_1 You’re an a**hole. [vulgar] (Latin America)_4 Please stop, or tell it to the hand. (United States)_7 I agree. (United States)_5 I cannot do what you have asked. (known as the fig sign in Turkey and some
other cultures)
1. Thumb and forefinger form a circle,
while the other three fingers are spread
out.
2. Two men hold hands in public.
3. Pinkie and pointer finger point straight
up, while thumb holds the two middle
fingers down.
4. Palm is held flat out toward another
person.
5. Hand is in fist with thumb poking out
between the forefinger and middle
finger.
6. Palm up, thumb holding all fingers
except the pointer, which alternately
straightens and curls
7. Hand is in a fist with thumb pointing up.
The gestures above match up to the
meanings listed to the right.
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9780190297084_ch07_180-211.indd 181 10/05/16 03:32 PM
Understanding
Interpersonal
Communication
181
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication 183
What Makes Communication Interpersonal?
Mediated Interpersonal Communication
How We Choose Relational Partners 185
Evaluating Relationship Potential
Relationship Reality Check
Types of Interpersonal Relationships 188
Friendship
Family Relationships
Romantic Partners
Communication Patterns in Relationships 198
Content and Relational Messages
Metacommunication
Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships
Dialectical Perspective of Interpersonal Relationships
Lies and Evasions
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
7.1
Describe characteristics that
distinguish interpersonal
relationships from impersonal
ones and online communication
from face-to-face interactions.
7.2
Identify the factors that shape
interpersonal attraction.
7.3
Describe the different types of
communication dynamics in
friendships, family relationships,
and romantic relationships.
7.4
Explain the relevance of content
and relational meaning,
metacommunication, self-
disclosure, dialectical tensions,
and deception to interpersonal
communication.
7
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“WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS ROSE?” This line from The Bachelor and
The Bachelorette invites a contestant to be part of another round in
the reality television game of love. To date, viewers have watched
23 couples say “I will” in marriage proposals at the shows’ conclu-
sions. However, only four of those couples have stayed together long
enough to actually say “I do.”1 What happens after the show to turn
“I love you forever” into “Leave me alone”?
This chapter explores the role of communication in close relation-
ships. As you surely know from experience, these relationships some-
times seem easy and rewarding. At other times, they are challenging
and downright confusing.
Sean Lowe, one of the few who found lasting love on The Bach-
elor, describes his wake-up moment: “You leave the show, then you
get into the real world and find out like, ‘Oh crap! Being in a relation-
ship isn’t always easy and it actually takes work.”2 The TV couples
who called it quits often say that hurt feelings and unresolved con-
flicts did them in.3,4
Communicating effectively when powerful emotions are involved
requires know-how and awareness. This chapter begins by consider-
ing what makes some relationships closer than others. It explores
how we choose relational partners and the different ways we com-
municate with friends, family members, and romantic partners. The
rest of the chapter is about communication phenomena that affect
all of our close relationships. We close with one of the most challeng-
ing aspects of interpersonal communication—lies and evasions—
which segues into Chapter 8’s coverage of effective conflict
management.
Reality television may not
be real, but it reminds
us that interpersonal
relationships aren’t always
easy. As you read this
chapter, consider the
following questions in light
of your own relationships:
?
When has communication
felt most personal and most
impersonal? What was the
difference?
?
When has what wasn’t said
been more important than
the topic under discussion?
?
Recall times when you tried
to talk about an important
relationship with someone.
What happened?
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Characteristics of Interpersonal
Communication
If you had to guess, which one of the following five scenarios would you say exem-
plifies interpersonal communication?
1. Eduardo doesn’t know Martina well yet, but he strikes up a conversation so
he can learn more about her.
2. Two computer programmers engage in such lively brainstorming that it’s dif-
ficult to remember later whose idea was whose.
3. Filip smiles at the cashier in the grocery store and says thank you as he leaves
with his purchase.
4. After a hard day, Megan looks forward to a conversation with her roommate,
whose concern and similar experiences always make her feel better.
5. Aya and Ying established a connection via Aya’s blog posts about her experi-
ences in China. Now they text each other nearly every day.
If you picked the scenario with Megan, you’re right. If you also selected the online
example, score that one as a maybe for now. We’ll come back to it as we consider
what distinguishes interpersonal communication from other types of interactions.
What Makes Communication Interpersonal?
As these examples show, not all dyadic relationships are interpersonal. Several fac-
tors make interpersonal communication unique and precious. Theorist John Stewart
defines it as “communication that happens when the people involved talk and listen
in ways that maximize the presence of the personal.”5 In other words, interpersonal
communication involves two-way interactions between people who are part of a close
and irreplaceable relationship in which they treat each other as unique individuals. Let’s
consider the implications of that definition by returning to the examples you just read:
1. Eduardo and Martina may eventually develop a close relationship, but at
this point they can’t yet appreciate one another’s unique qualities. The emo-
tional intimacy that characterizes interpersonal relationships doesn’t occur
instantly. Rather, it evolves over time.
2. The computer programmers’ brainstorming session is a good example of
effective task-related communication. But there’s no evidence that the col-
leagues have a close personal attachment.
3. Although interactions with strangers and casual acquaintances serve an
important role in our lives, Filip’s exchange with the cashier is not interper-
sonal. There is no exchange of personal information, and Filip will probably
not mind if a different cashier helps him tomorrow. By contrast, Filip’s rela-
tionship with his best friend is unique and irreplaceable. Part of the sadness
when an interpersonal relationship ends is that, even if the relationship had
its faults, we will never have another one exactly like it.
4. Megan’s conversation with her roommate is sure to be interpersonal in that
they are invested in listening to and sharing personal information with each
other as unique individuals. By contrast, a therapist may be eager to help a
client, but the relationship is based on roles that involve a degree of emotional
distance and mostly a one-way flow of personal information. The distinction
is so important that therapists typically uphold a code of ethics that prohibits
them from developing personal (interpersonal) relationships with their clients.
5. The final example (Aya and Ying) isn’t so easy to categorize. In the next sec-
tion, we explore the nature of online interactions.
interpersonal communication
Two-way interactions between people
who are part of a close and irreplaceable
relationship in which they treat each
other as unique individuals.
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Mediated Interpersonal Communication
Aya and Ying, who connected online, have a cyber relationship in that they know
each other only in the virtual world. Can two people who have never met in person
engage in interpersonal communication? One the one hand, they are strangers in
many ways. On the other, their emotional connection may feel even more real and
powerful than it does with people they see every day.
Early definitions of interpersonal communication specified that it had to take
place in person.6 That was presumably because theorists considered face-to-face
interactions to have a richness lacking in other available channels.
Times have changed. Today, few scholars dispute the idea that interpersonal
communication can occur via texts, emails, calls, video chats, and other technical
channels.7 Yet online interpersonal communication is different from face-to-face
exchanges. In this section, we consider why people use technology to communi-
cate interpersonally and how that influences their relationships, sometimes for
the better and sometimes not.
All in all, it’s impossible to say without more information whether Aya and
Ying from our example engage in interpersonal communication online. Perhaps
their texts are simply about interesting things to do in China, without what Stew-
art calls “the presence of the personal.”8 On the other hand, they may have a close
and personal connection. If that is true, it’s a safe assumption that they would like
to meet in person one day. The most highly rated friendships are those in which
people have both in-person and electronic contact with each other.9
Why People Use Communication Technology Here are four of the most common
reasons people communicate via mediated channels with others they care about:
1. Mediated channels enable communication that would not happen
otherwise. When people are far away from each other or have different rou-
tines, technology can help them stay connected. Perhaps for these reasons,
adolescents who use online communication in moderation typically have
more cohesive friendships than those who do not,10 and couples who talk
frequently via mobile phone feel more loving, committed, and confident
about their relationship than couples who don’t.11
2. Mediated communication can feel nonthreatening. For some people, par-
ticularly those who are introverted, mediated channels make it easier to build
close relationships.12 Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen remembers when online
communication enhanced her relationship with a bashful colleague: “Face
to face he mumbled so I could barely tell he was speaking. But when we both
got on e-mail, I started receiving long, self-revealing messages; we poured our
hearts out to each other.”13 Even if you’re not shy, you may find some messages
easier to send than to say aloud.
3. Online communication can be validating. One appealing quality of
online communication is its potential to convey social support. Posting
news of the “A” you earned in English may be rewarded almost instantly
with “likes” and congratulations. University students who use Facebook
typically experience less stress than their peers, especially when they con-
sider their online friends to be supportive, interpersonally attractive, and
trustworthy.14
4. Electronic communication often has a pause option. Many forms of
mediated communication are asynchronous, meaning that they allow you to
think about messages before sending them. This is a plus when you can catch
mistakes or avoid blurting out something you would regret later.15
cyber relationship An affiliation
between people who know each other
only in the virtual world.
cultural idiom
on the other hand: from the opposite
point of view
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Given all these advantages, what are the drawbacks of online com-
munication? There are a few, as we discuss next.
Drawbacks of Online Communication Whether people who com-
municate online already know one another or not, the virtual world
presents challenges in terms of interpersonal communication. For
one thing, excessive use of online communication can diminish
relationships, as happens when we are more tuned in to texts and
tweets than to humans in the same room.16
Phubbing refers to episodes in which people snub those around
them by paying attention to their phones instead.17 Researchers in
one study found that the mere presence of mobile devices can have
a negative effect on closeness, connection, and conversation qual-
ity during face-to-face discussions of personal topics.18
Another downside is that online communication can encour-
age quantity over quality. Mobile devices provide a steady stream of
information that begs to be read, even though much of it is trivial.
And a person can have thousands of online “friends” and follow-
ers but few people he or she can count on during hard times. As
a result, there is a point of diminishing rewards. In moderation,
social media can boost our sense of connection and identity. How-
ever, people who take it to extremes tend to be lonelier than their
peers.19 Teen model and social media celebrity Essena O’Neill is one
of those people. She minimized her online presence, she says, when
she began to feel consumed and isolated by it.20
How We Choose Relational Partners
Considering the number of people with whom we communicate every day, truly
interpersonal interaction is rather scarce. That isn’t necessarily unfortunate: Most of
us don’t have the time or energy to create personal relationships with everyone we
encounter—or even to act in a personal way all the time with the people we know
and love best. In fact, the scarcity of qualitatively interpersonal communication
contributes to its value. Like precious jewels and one-of-a-kind artwork, interper-
sonal relationships are special because of their scarcity.
Sometimes we don’t have a choice about our relationships: Children can’t select
their parents, and most workers aren’t able to choose their bosses or colleagues. In
many other cases, though, we seek out some people and actively avoid others. The
next section considers the factors behind selecting friends and romantic partners.
Evaluating Relationship Potential
Following are eight common explanations people offer for why they chose to form
a close relationship with someone in particular. As you will see, some factors are
more salient to friendships and others to romantic relationships, but they all may
figure in both types.
1. The person is physically attractive.
Most people claim that we should judge others on the basis of character, not
appearance. The reality, however, is quite the opposite—particularly in the
early stages of romantic relationships. People are more likely to show interest
in others they consider physically attractive, both in person22 and online.23
This may be why physically unattractive people (based on reviewer rankings)
Teen model Essena O’Neill shocked her 612,000 Instagram
followers in 2015 when she closed her account, removed
thousands of online photos of herself, and vowed to break her
social media addiction. “It consumed me,” she said. “I wasn’t
living in a 3D world.”21
Have you ever felt that online interactions have negatively
affected your interpersonal relationships?
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Is It Cheating?
If someone in a committed relationship
engages in romantic talk online with
someone he or she will never meet in
person, do you think that counts as
cheating? Why or why not?
phubbing A mixture of the words
phone and snubbing, used to describe
episodes in which people pay more
attention to their devices than they do
to the people around them.
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are more likely than others to enhance the
photos they post on online dating sites,
although they usually report truthfully
about other details of their lives.24
2. We have a lot in common.
In most cases, we like people whose tem-
perament, values, and life goals are simi-
lar to our own. For example, the more
alike a married couple’s personalities are,
the more likely they are to report being
happy and satisfied in their marriage.25
Similarity is a factor in the early stages of
friendship as well, when all we have go
by is appearance. When given a choice of
where to sit, we tend to gravitate toward
people whose features are similar to our
own—those who also wear glasses or have
the same color hair we do.26 Researchers Similarities may attract us to other
people, but there is no evidence that
look-alike couples such as Leonardo
DiCaprio and Margot Robbie have
an advantage in the long run. Long-
term relationship success depends far
more on compatible personalities and
communication styles.
Have you ever been attracted to someone
based on looks and then found out you
were incompatible in other ways?
suggest that similarities are comfortable, and they may reduce our fear that
the other person will reject us.
3. We balance each other out.
The folk wisdom that “opposites attract” seems to contradict the similarity
principle just described. In truth, both are valid. Differences strengthen a
relationship when they are complementary—when each partner’s character-
istics satisfy the other’s needs. Individuals, for instance, are often likely to
be attracted to each other when one partner is dominant and the other pas-
sive.27 Relationships also work well when the partners agree that one will
exercise control in certain areas (“You make the final decisions about money”),
and the other will exercise control in different areas (“I’ll decide how we ought
to decorate the place”). Strains occur when control issues are disputed.
4. The person likes and appreciates me.
It’s no mystery why reciprocal liking is appealing. People who approve of
us bolster our feelings of self-esteem. Attraction has to be mutual to spark
and maintain a relationship, though. And of course, we aren’t drawn toward
everyone who seems to like us. If we don’t find the other person’s attributes
attractive, their interest can be a turn-off.
5. I admire the person’s abilities.
It’s natural to admire people who are highly competent in something we
care about. Forming relationships with talented and accomplished people
can inspire us and provide flattering validation.28
6. The person opens up to me.
People who reveal important information about themselves often seem
more likable, provided of course that what they share is appropriate to
the setting and the stage of the relationship.29 Self-disclosure is appealing
partly because people enjoy a sense of similarity, either in experiences
(“I broke off an engagement, myself”) or in attitudes (“I feel nervous with strang-
ers, too”). And when people share private information, it suggests that they
respect and trust us—a kind of liking that we’ve already seen increases
attractiveness. Disclosure plays an even more important role as relation-
ships develop beyond their earliest stages. (We’ll talk more about that later
in the chapter.)
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7. I see the person frequently.
In many cases, proximity leads to liking.30 For instance, we’re more likely
to develop friendships with close neighbors than with distant ones, and
the chances are good that we’ll choose a mate with whom we cross paths
often. Proximity allows us to get more information about people and to
engage in more relationship-building behaviors together. Also, people
in close proximity may be more similar to us than those who live, work,
and play in different places. The Internet provides a new means for cre-
ating closeness, as users are able to experience “virtual proximity” in
cyberspace.31
8. The relationship is rewarding.
Some social scientists argue that all relationships—both impersonal and
personal—are based on a semi-economic model called social exchange
theory.32 This model suggests that we seek out people who can give us
rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing
with them. Rewards may be tangible (a nice place to live, a high-paying
job) or intangible (prestige, emotional support, companionship). Costs are
undesirable outcomes, such as a sense of obligation, emotional pain, and
so on. According to social exchange theorists, we use this formula (usually
unconsciously) to decide whether dealing with another person is a “good
deal” or “not worth the effort.”
Relationship Reality Check
Having just pointed out common considerations when choosing relational part-
ners, a few caveats are in order. Read the following before you fall into the trap of
thinking you must be supermodel stunning, Mensa smart, or Olympic-level tal-
ented for people to find you appealing.
• First impressions can mislead. Evidence shows that we befriend people
whose interests and attitudes seem similar to our own. This is partly an illu-
sion, however. We tend to overestimate how similar we are to our friends
and underestimate how similar we are to people we don’t know well.33 In
reality, there is strong evidence that superficial similarities such as appear-
ance do not predict long-term happiness with a relationship,34 and when we
are willing to communicate with a range of people, our differences are not
usually as great as we thought.35
• Our priorities change. For example, physical factors that catch our eye
at first glance aren’t necessarily what we want in the long run. Although
women in one study preferred to date muscular men, they considered men
with average body shapes to be more appealing candidates for marriage.36
As one social scientist put it, “attractive features may open doors, but appar-
ently, it takes more than physical beauty to keep them open.”37
• Perfection can be a turn-off. We like people who are attractive and tal-
ented, but we are uncomfortable around those who are too perfect. Let’s face
it: No one wants to look bad by comparison. And it’s more important to be
nice than to be flawless. College students in one study were twice as likely
to choose a very nice stranger over a very smart one. The researchers con-
cluded that, if people had to choose, most would rather spend time with a
“lovable fool” than a “competent jerk.”38
• It’s not all about communication, but it’s a lot about communication.
The online dating service eHarmony matches couples based on “29 dimen-
sions of compatibility,” and other online dating sites make similar promises.
social exchange theory The idea
that we seek out people who can give us
rewards that are greater than or equal to
the costs we encounter in dealing with
them.
ASK YOURSELF
Make a list of the
qualities that first
attracted you to a
special person in your
life. Did the importance
you placed on those
characteristics change
as the relationship
developed? If so, how?
?
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We can imagine such compatibility algorithms for finding friends as well.
However, the long-term success of people matched by computer algorithms
is no greater than that of people who meet on their own.39 That’s because
long-term compatibility relies less on superficial similarities and more on
how people interact with each other once they start a relationship and
encounter stressful issues.
A few lessons emerge from these observations. One is to break free of your com-
fort zone and give new people a chance. Another is that when you are the person
who seems different from others, you can help reduce the stranger barrier by being
friendly and approachable and letting people get to know the real you. Finally,
don’t be discouraged if you aren’t “perfect” by society’s standards. Being perfect is
overrated. Being nice matters more.
Types of Interpersonal
Relationships
A fiendishly cynical Tumblr post defines what happens when one is friendzoned:
“a person decide[s] that you’re just a friend and no longer a dating option. You
become this complete non-sexual entity in their eyes, like a sibling or a lamp.”40
Wait a minute, Tumblr sage! It’s natural to be discouraged by flagging roman-
tic interest, but platonic relationships can also be immensely rewarding. In fact
the Greek philosopher Plato, whose work (and name) inspired the term platonic,
would be shocked to hear people use the term “ just friends.” He considered friend-
ship to occupy a higher plane than sexual attraction.41 Furthermore, the most last-
ing relationships you are likely to have will be with family members.
In this section, we consider what the Tumblr satirist got right: The commu-
nication patterns that define relationships of various types are different in many
ways. We’ll take a closer look at communication with friends, family members,
and romantic partners.
Friendship
Good friends keep us healthy, boost our self-esteem, and make us feel loved and
supported.42 They also help us adjust to new challenges and uncertainty.43 It’s not
surprising, then, that people with strong and lasting friendships are happier than
those without them.44
Friendships are special for a number of reasons. First, unlike a parent–child,
teacher–student, or doctor–patient relationship, in which one partner has more
authority or higher status than the other, friends typically treat each other as
equals.45 Second, unlike family and romantic relationships that may be limited in
number, we can have as many friends as we want or have time for. Finally, we are
relatively free to design friendships that suit our needs. We may have close friends
we talk to every day and others we see only once in a while.
Types of Friendships A quick survey of your social network will confirm that
friendships come in many forms. Think of several friends in your life—perhaps
a new friend, a longstanding friend, and a colleague at work. Then see how they
compare on the dimensions described in this section.
Youthful Versus Mature Some elements of friendship hold true across the life
span. For instance, self-disclosure is typical in close relationships from childhood
to old age.46 But in other ways, the nature of friendships varies as the participants
mature.47
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Preschoolers rarely have enduring friendships. Instead, they enjoy time with
temporary playmates. As they grow older, children usually form more stable
friendships, but primarily to meet their own needs and with little sense of empa-
thy. During adolescence, friendships become a central feature of social life—often
more important than family. In these teen years, friends begin to be valued for
their personal qualities, not just as playmates or activity companions.
As they move away from familiar environments, young adults expand their
circle of friends in ways that often prove highly satisfying.52 By this point in life,
the qualities that are important in a friend become stable and mature: helpfulness,
support, trust, commitment, and self-disclosure. As the responsibilities of mar-
riage and family grow, the desire to have strong friendships may stay the same, but
the time available to support them can decline.53 In older adulthood, friendships
become especially valuable as a means of social support. Having strong relation-
ships contributes to both satisfaction and health.54
Short-Term Versus Long-Term Short-term friends tend to change as our lives do.
We say goodbye because we move, graduate, switch jobs, or change lifestyles. Per-
haps we party less or spend more time off the ball field than we used to. Our social
networks are likely to change, too. On the other hand, long-term friends are with
us even when they aren’t. These friendships tend to survive changes and distance.55
Particularly today, with so many different ways to stay in touch, people report
that—as long as the trust and a sense of connection are there—they feel as close to
their long-term friends who live far away as to those who are nearby.56
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?
It’s an age-old question. And the answer depends on whom
you ask. Women typically say yes. But men give a decidedly
iffy answer. In a study of 88 pairs of heterosexual, college-
age opposite-sex friends, most women said the friendship
is purely platonic, with no romantic interest on either side.48
The men were more likely to say that they secretly harbor
romantic fantasies about their gal pals and they suspect
(often wrongly, it seems) that the feeling is mutual.
Researchers speculate that men and women get their wires
crossed partly because they communicate differently. Because
women usually expect friends to be emotionally supportive
and understanding, they engage in self-disclosure and empa-
thy behaviors.49 From the male perspective, this may feel like
the trappings of romance rather than friendship. Men’s same-
sex friendships typically involve more independence, more
friendly competition, and fewer intimate disclosures than wom-
en’s do.50 Those behaviors may not strike women as romantic.
So far, it seems there’s still a gender gap where friendship is
involved. But scientists encourage people to take heart. In
the history of human development, male–female friendship
is a recent development.51 It may take a little practice.
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Low Disclosure Versus High Disclosure Some of your friends know
more about you than others. Self-disclosure is associated with greater
levels of intimacy such that only a few confidants are likely to know
your deepest secrets. But when it comes to even slightly less personal
news, we are experiencing a revolution in terms of self-disclosure.
Today, it’s quite common for someone to announce personal news to
hundreds of friends and acquaintances with a single post or tweet.
Doing-Oriented Versus Being-Oriented Some friends experience
closeness “in the doing.” That is, they enjoy performing tasks or
attending events together and feel closer because of those shared
experiences.57 In these cases, different friends are likely to be tied to
particular interests—a golfing buddy or shopping partner, for exam-
ple. Other friendships are “being-oriented.” For these friends, the
main focus is on being together, and they might get together just to
talk or hang out.58
Low Obligation Versus High Obligation There are some friends for
whom we would do just about anything. For others, we may feel a
lower sense of obligation, both in terms of what we would do for them
and how quickly we would do it. Cultural elements may affect this
sense. For example, friends raised in a low-context culture such as the
United States are more likely than those raised in a high-context cul-
ture such as China to express their appreciation for a friend out loud
(see Chapter 3). The Chinese are more likely to express themselves
indirectly—mostly often by doing favors for friends and by showing
gratitude and reciprocity when friends do favors for them.59 It’s easy to
imagine the misunderstandings that might occur when one friend puts
a high value on words and the other on actions.
Frequent Contact Versus Occasional Contact You probably keep in
close touch with some friends. Perhaps you work out, travel, social-
ize, or Skype daily with them. Other friendships have less frequent
contact—maybe an occasional phone call or text message. Of course,
infrequent contact doesn’t always correlate with levels of disclosure or
obligation. Many close friends may see each other only once a year,
but they pick right back up in terms of the breadth and depth of their
shared information.
Same Sex Versus Other Sex Friendship varies, to some extent, by
sex. Same-sex friendships between men typically involve good-natured
competition and a focus on tasks and events, whereas female friends
tend to treat each other more as equals and to engage in emotional
support and self-disclosure.60 It can work out well when we bring these
expectations to our other-sex friendships. Men often say that they find
it validating when female friends encourage them to be more emo-
tionally expressive than usual, and women say they appreciate the
opportunity to be concrete and direct with their guy friends.61 Different
expectations can lead to misunderstandings, however. See the Under-
standing Diversity box on this page to explore whether heterosexual
men and women can be “just” friends.
Sexual orientation is another factor in friendship. Friendships
between people who are gay and those who are straight can lead
to feelings of belonging and acceptance. Gay men who have close
friends that are straight are less likely than their peers to perceive
that society judges them harshly for being gay.62 And there seems to
be some truth to the idea that straight women and gay men make
CHECKLIST
Being a Better Friend
Experts suggest the following communication
strategies to keep your friendships strong.
Be a good listener. Listen not only to what
is said but to what isn’t said; pay close atten-
tion to your friend’s nonverbal cues. Put aside
distractions to show how much you care.
Give advice sparingly. A better option is to
listen attentively and, if appropriate, ask your
friend what options he or she imagines and
what the pros and cons might be of each.
Share feelings respectfully. Although it
may be tempting to make a snide remark or
say “it’s nothing” when you feel upset, those
strategies are likely to damage friendships.63
Apologize and forgive. If you slip up,
such as by forgetting an important date
or saying something that embarrasses the
other person, admit the mistake, apologize
sincerely, and promise to do better in the
future.64 By the same token, be aware that
you are likely to make such mistakes yourself,
which may inspire you to offer forgiveness.65
Be validating and appreciative. Find ways
to let your friend know that he or she mat-
ters to you.66
Stay true through hard times. People who
believe their friends will be there for them
typically experience less everyday stress and
more physical and emotional resilience than
other people.67
Be trustworthy and loyal. Two of the
most dreaded violations of trust are sharing
private information with others and saying
unkind things about a friend behind his or
her back.68 Be a good friend by maintain-
ing confidences and standing up for others,
even when they aren’t around.
Give and take equally. We are happi-
est when there is equal give and take in a
friendship. One benefit is the sense that we
make a difference in someone’s life, not just
that someone makes a difference in ours.69
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great friends. Gay men are nearly twice as likely as lesbian women to have
opposite-sex friendships.70 This may be because gay men and straight women
trust each other’s advice about love and romance. Both sides say they enjoy
getting an opposite-sex perspective without the complications of a hidden
sexual agenda.71
In-Person Versus Mediated The average person has many more online friends
than physical ones—double the amount, according to one report.72 Quantity isn’t
the only difference between mediated and offline friendships, however. It turns out
that online-only friendships may carry a greater risk of deception or hostility.73
Research also suggests that face-to-face friends are typically more interdepen-
dent than online friends, especially during the early stages of their relationships.
In-person friends are more likely to talk about topics in depth, and they typi-
cally share a deeper level of understanding and commitment than online friends
do. And, not surprisingly, in-person friends tend to have more similar social net-
works. However, as online friendships develop, the difference in quality when
compared with in-person friendships tends to diminish.74 There is also some evi-
dence that online relationships can become even more personal, as time goes on,
than the in-person variety.75
To enhance your communication skills, no matter what type of friends you have,
see the checklist about being a good friend.
Family Relationships
What makes a family? As your own experiences probably show, a family might
encompass bloodline relatives, adopted family members, stepparents and stepsib-
lings, honorary aunts and uncles, and others. This makes it easy to understand why
people can be hurt by questions such as, “Is he your natural son?” and “Is she your real
mother?” Calling some family members “real” implies that others are fake or that they
don’t belong.76
In light of the wide range of possibilities, theorist Martha Minnow argues that
people who share affection and resources as a family and who think of themselves
and present themselves as a family are a family.77
Parents and Children We learn how to behave largely from our parents. At a
more subtle level, we also learn from them how to think about the world around
us and how to manage our emotions. If you grew up in a family that empha-
sized the role of conversation in problem-solving, evidence suggests that you are
most likely to engage in that strategy with others as an adult.78 By contrast, if
the emphasis was on conformity (“a rule is a rule”), you are more likely to think
people should follow the rules without questioning them.
Siblings Sibling relationships involve an interwoven, and often paradoxical,
collection of emotions. Children are likely to feel both intense loyalty and fierce
competition with their brothers and sisters and to be both loving and antagonis-
tic toward them. In the midst of this complexity—what some theorists call the
“playing and arguing, joking and bickering, caring and fighting” of sibling life—
children learn a great deal about themselves and how to relate to others.79
Even in adulthood, sibling relationships vary widely. Supportive brothers and
sisters talk regularly and consider themselves to be accessible and emotionally
close to one another.80 On the other end of the spectrum are competitive and
even hostile siblings, who never outgrow the rivalry common in childhood and
adolescence.
Grandparents and Grandchildren Less than 100 years ago, adults seldom lived
long enough to know their grandchildren. Today, children more often reach adult-
hood knowing not only their grandparents but their great-grandparents.
family A collection of people who
share affection and resources and who
think of themselves and present them-
selves as a family
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Grandparents often have the time and inclination to interact
with younger members of the family. They can provide loving atten-
tion and fun without having to scold or punish, and they can be
caring and supportive listeners. It’s a positive dynamic both sides
can appreciate.81 Children who interact frequently with their grand-
parents are more likely than others to remain in close contact with
them later in life.82
The trick for grandparents, say many theorists, is to manage the
balance between “being there” and “interfering.”83 It may be difficult
to know when or whether they should serve as disciplinarians or par-
enting advisors. Bruce Feiler, who researches and writes about family
dynamics, and his wife Linda have an understanding with their par-
ents when it comes to the grandkids: Our house, our rules; your house,
your rules. He says that communicating about expectations openly has
strengthened family ties.84
See the checklist on this page for tips on communicating well
with the people you call family, in all their many roles.
Romantic Partners
Romantic love is the stuff of songs, fairytales, and happy endings. So
it might surprise you that the butterflies-in-your-belly sense of roman-
tic bliss isn’t a great predictor of happiness. A much better indicator
is the effort that couples put into their communication. Factors such
as trust, agreeableness, and emotional expressiveness are primarily
responsible for long-term relationship success.85,86 In this section, we
explore the role of communication in forming and sustaining romantic
relationships.
Male and Female Intimacy Styles By definition, romantic intimacy
requires that we express ourselves personally through physical con-
tact, shared experiences, intellectual sharing, and emotional dis-
closures.87 Being open with another person in this manner involves
vulnerability. But intimacy also yields some of life’s greatest rewards,
including a sense of being understood, accepted, and supported.88 As
you will see, romantic intimacy may mean different things to differ-
ent people, and communication can be a tool for both enhancing and
diminishing it.
Until recently, most social scientists believed that women were
better at developing and maintaining intimate relationships than
men. This belief grew from the assumption that the most important
ingredients of intimacy are sharing personal information and show-
ing emotions. Most research does show that women (taken as a group,
of course) are more willing than men to share their thoughts and
feelings.89 However, male–female differences aren’t as great as they
seem,90 and emotional expression isn’t the only way to develop close
relationships.
Whereas women typically value personal talk, men often dem-
onstrate caring by doing things for their partners and spending time
with them. It’s easy to imagine the misunderstandings that result
from this difference. Indeed, women’s most frequent complaint is
that men don’t stop to focus on “the relationship” enough.91 Men,
however, are more likely to complain about what women do or don’t
do in an instrumental sense. For example, they may consider it highly
significant if a woman doesn’t call when she says she will.
CHECKLIST
Being a Better Family
Member
Communicating with family members can be
a challenge, but it’s vital. Following are some
strategies for successful communication based
on experts’ advice.
Share family stories. Family stories con-
tribute to a shared sense of identity. They
also convey that adversity is an inevitable
part of life, and they can suggest strategies
for overcoming it.92
Listen to each other. People who are
involved in reflection and conversation learn
how to manage and express their feelings
better than people who don’t. They tend to
have better relationships as a result.93,94
Negotiate privacy rules. Privacy
violations among family members can have
serious consequences.95 At the same time,
too much privacy can mean overlooking
dangerous behavior and avoiding
distressing but important topics. Experts
suggest that families talk about and agree
on privacy expectations and rules.
Coach conflict management. Effective
conflict management doesn’t just happen
spontaneously.96 It‘s a sophisticated process
that often goes against our fight-or-flight
instincts. Families can help by creating safe
environments for discussing issues and striv-
ing for mutually agreeable solutions.
Go heavy on confirming messages. Sup-
portive messages from family members can
give us the confidence to believe in ourselves.
For example, teens whose parents frequently
compliment and encourage them are less
likely than others to drop out of high school.97
Have fun. Happy families make it a point
to minimize distractions and spend time
together on a regular basis. They establish
togetherness rituals that suit their busy lives,
such as sharing dessert even when they
can’t eat dinner together,98 and they engage
in adventures, both large and small.
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Men and women may view sex differently as well. Whereas many women
think of sex as a way to express intimacy that has already developed, men are
more likely to see it as a way to create that intimacy.99 In this sense, the man
who encourages sex early in a relationship or after a fight may view the shared
activity as a way to build closeness. By contrast, the woman who views per-
sonal talk as the pathway to intimacy may resist the idea of physical closeness
before the emotional side of the relationship has been discussed.
What happens when both partners are of the same sex? Research is limited so
far, but much of it suggests that, on average, same-sex couples are more satisfied
with their relationships than are heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples typi-
cally report greater harmony, less emotional distance, and more shared activities
than male–female romantic partners.100 Researchers speculate that this may be
because same-sex couples have been socialized to communicate in similar ways
and to have similar expectations. And, because they are likely to treat each other
as equals, same-sex couples tend to seek common ground when faced with deci-
sions and conflict.101
Love Languages Some intimacy styles have less to do with sex or gender
than with personal preferences. Relationship counselor Gary Chapman102
observes that people typically orient to one of five love languages. You can
learn more about love languages in your life by completing the self-assessment
on the next page.
Affirming Words This language includes compliments, thanks, and statements
that express love and commitment. Even when you know someone loves and values
you, it’s often nice to hear it in words. The happiest couples continue to flirt with
each other, even after they have been together for many years.103
Quality Time Some people show love by completing tasks together, talking, or
engaging in some other mutually enjoyable activity. The good news is that, even
when people can’t be together physically, talking about quality time can be an
important means of expressing love. For example, partners separated by military
deployments often say they feel closer to each other just talking about everyday
activities and future plans.104
Acts of Service People may show love by performing favors such as caring for
each other when they are sick, doing the dishes, making meals, and so on. Commit-
ted couples report that sharing daily tasks is the most frequent way they show their
love and commitment.105 Although each person need not contribute in exactly the
same ways, an overall sense that they are putting forth equal effort is essential to
long-term happiness.106
Gifts It’s no coincidence that we buy gifts for loved ones on Valentine’s Day and
other occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries. For some people, receiving a
gift—even an inexpensive or free one such as a flower from the garden or a hand-
made card—adds to their sense of being loved and valued.107
Physical Touch Loving touch may involve a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, or
having sex. For some people, touch is such a powerful indicator of intimacy
that even an incidental touch can spur interest. In one study, a woman asked
men in a bar for assistance adding a key to her key ring.108 She lightly touched
some of the men but not others. Afterward, the men who had been touched were
more romantically interested in the woman than the other men were. Touch is
potent even in long-term relationships. Researchers in one study asked couples to
increase the number of times they kissed each other. Six weeks later, the couples’
stress levels and relational satisfaction, and even their cholesterol levels, had sig-
nificantly improved.109
intimacy A state of closeness between
two (or sometimes more) people. Inti-
macy can be manifested in several ways:
physically, intellectually, emotionally,
and via shared activities.
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The odds are that you value all of these ways to express love, but you prob-
ably give some greater weight than others. Good intentions lead you astray,
however, if you assume that your partner feels the same way you do. The golden
rule—that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us—can
lead to misunderstandings when our partner’s primary love language differs
from ours.110
So far, we have been speaking about intimacy and love languages in estab-
lished relationships, but more than most relationships, romantic love tends to
develop (and sometimes to decline) in phases.
Stages of Romantic Relationships Some romances ignite quickly, whereas
others grow gradually. Either way, couples are likely to progress through a series of
stages as they define what they mean to each other and what they should expect in
terms of shared activities, exclusivity, commitment, and their public identity. All
the while, they are involved in a balancing act as they negotiate between auton-
omy and togetherness, openness and privacy, and other factors.
One of the best-known explanations of how communication operates in dif-
ferent phases of a relationship was developed by communication scholar Mark
Knapp. His developmental model depicts five stages of intimacy development
(coming together) and five stages in which people distance themselves from
each other (coming apart).111 Other researchers have suggested that the middle
phases of the model can also be understood in terms of keeping stable relation-
ships operating smoothly and satisfactorily (relational maintenance).112 Figure 7-1
shows how Knapp’s 10 stages fit into this three-part view of communication in
What Is Your Love Language?
Answer these questions to learn more about the love lan-
guages you prefer:
1. You have had a stressful time working on a team project. The
best thing your romantic partner can do for you is:
a. Set aside distractions to spend some time
with you
b. Do your chores so you can relax
c. Give you a big hug
d. Pamper you with a dessert you love
e. Tell you the team is lucky to have someone as talented
as you
2. What is your favorite way to show that you care?
a. Go somewhere special together
b. Do a favor without being asked
c. Hold hands and sit close together
d. Surprise your romantic partner with a little treat
e. Tell your loved one how you feel in writing
3. With which of the following do you most agree?
a. The most lovable thing someone can do is give you his
or her undivided attention.
b. Actions speak louder than words.
c. A loving touch says more than words can express.
d. Your dearest possessions are things your loved one has
given you.
e. People don’t say “I love you” nearly enough.
4. Your anniversary is coming up. Which of the following appeals
to you most?
a. An afternoon together, just the two of you
b. A romantic, home-cooked dinner (you don’t have to lift
a finger)
c. A relaxing massage by candlelight
d. A photo album of good times you have shared
e. A homemade card that lists the qualities your romantic
partner loves about you
For the meaning of your scores, see page 211.
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
developmental models (of relational
maintenance) Theoretical frameworks
based on the idea that communication
patterns are different in various stages
of interpersonal relationships.
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Relational maintenance
Coming
apart
Coming
together
Bonding
Integrating
Experimenting
Initiating
“Hi. Are you
new here too?”
“You like Steampunk?
What do you think of
Doctor Steel?”
“I’ve never met anybody like you.”
“I’m changing my Facebook relationship
status to ‘In a Relationship.’”
“Let’s make it official
and get married.”
“Go shopping? I want to
hang out with my friends.”
“Go ahead and take that vacation.
We could use some time apart.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why pretend? This
relationship isn’t
working anymore.”
Differentiating
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
Intensifying
FIGURE 7-1 Knapp’s Stages of Relational Development
relationships. As you read on, consider how well these stages reflect communica-
tion in the close relationships you have experienced.
Initiating The initiating stage occurs when people first encounter each other.
Knapp restricts this stage to conversation openers, such as, “It’s nice to meet you”
and “How’s it going?” During this stage, people form first impressions and have the
opportunity to present themselves in an appealing manner.
Experimenting People enter the experimental stage when they begin to get
acquainted through “small talk.” They may ask, “Where are you from?” and “What do
you do?” or “Do you know Josephine Mandoza? She goes to the same university you do.”
Comments during this stage are generally pleasant and uncritical, and commitment
is minimal. Though small talk might seem meaningless, Knapp points out that it
cultural idiom
small talk: idle, trivial conversation
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presents a valuable opportunity: Small talk allows us to interact with a
wide range of people to determine who is worth getting to know better.
For couples who meet online, experimentation may involve meeting in
person for the first time. See the checklist on this page for experts’ tips
on making that transition.
Intensifying In this stage, truly interpersonal relationships develop
as people begin to express how they feel about each other. It’s often a
time of strong emotions and optimism that may lead either to a higher
level of intimacy or to the end of the relationship if, for example, one
partner feels pressured and the other rejected. Dating couples often
navigate this uncertainty by flirting, hinting around, asking hypotheti-
cal questions, giving compliments, and being more affectionate than
before. They become bolder and more direct only if their partners seem
receptive to these gestures.118 At this point, couples begin to see them-
selves as “we” instead of as separate individuals.
Integrating In the integration stage, couples begin to take on an
identity as a social unit. Invitations come addressed to the couple.
Social circles merge. Couples begin to share possessions and memo-
ries—our apartment, our car, our song.119 The term “Facebook official”
applies to this stage. Couples are likely to change their relationship
status online, announcing to their friends that they are in a commit-
ted, exclusive relationship.120 As it becomes a given that they will share
resources and help each other, partners become comfortable making
relatively straightforward requests of each other. Gone are the elabo-
rate explanations, inducements, and apologies. In short, partners in an
integrated relationship expect more from each other than they do in
less intimate associations.
Bonding The bonding stage is likely to involve a wedding, a commit-
ment ceremony, or some other public means of communicating to the
world that this is a relationship meant to last. Bonding generates social
support for the relationship and demonstrates a strong sense of com-
mitment and exclusivity.
Differentiating Not all relationships last forever. Even when the
bonds between partners are strong and enduring, it is sometimes desir-
able to create some distance. In the differentiating stage, the emphasis
shifts from “how we are alike” to “how we are different.” For exam-
ple, a couple who moves in together may find that they have different
expectations about doing chores, sleeping late, what to watch on TV,
and so on. This doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed.
Differences remind partners that they are distinct individuals. To main-
tain this balance, couples in this stage may demonstrate verbally and
nonverbally that they wish to have space. They may claim different
areas of the home for their private use and reduce their use of nick-
names, gestures, and words that distinguish the relationship as inti-
mate and unique.121
Circumscribing In the circumscribing stage, communication decreases
significantly in quantity and quality. Rather than discuss a disagree-
ment, which requires some degree of energy on both parts, partners
may withdraw mentally by using silence, daydreaming, or fantasizing.
They may also withdraw physically by spending less time together. Cir-
cumscribing entails a shrinking of interest and commitment.
CHECKLIST
Meeting an Online Date
for the First Time
Researchers call the transition from online-
only chatting to a real-time meetup modality
switching. Daters often use a different term:
awkward.113 Expectations may be especially
high, and there is a “shopping mentality” about
online dating that can turn a first meeting into
a sweaty-palms audition.
Following are some tips from communica-
tion researchers and dating experts to dial
down the awkward and help put you and the
other person at ease.
Be genuine from the beginning. The
computer-enhanced selfie that looks great
on screen may cause an online admirer to be
disappointed in person. Ultimately, relation-
ships fare best when mediated selves are a
close reflection of in-person selves.114
Talk on the phone first. If your online con-
nection shows promise, see how a phone
call goes before meeting in person.
Be safe. Arrange to meet in a public setting
rather than a private home, and provide
your own transportation. (Avoid your favor-
ite hangouts just in case you’d rather not run
into each other again in the future.115)
Put romantic thoughts aside for now. It
may sound counterintuitive, but as dating
advice columnist Jonathan Aslay observes,
“most successful long-term relationships are
built on a solid friendship.”116 Approaching
the encounter as a new friendship can be
less anxiety provoking and more realistic
than expecting fireworks with someone you
barely know.
Begin with a quick and easy meetup.
“Don’t meet for a meal on your first date,”
recommends Jennifer Flaa, who met her
future husband (plus a host of Mr. Wrongs)
online.117 She suggests meeting for coffee or
a drink instead. You can schedule a longer
date later, if you like.
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Stagnating If circumscribing continues, the relationship begins to
stagnate. Partners behave toward each other in old, familiar ways with-
out much feeling. Like workers who have lost interest in their jobs yet
continue to go through the motions, sadly, some couples unenthusias-
tically repeat the same conversations, see the same people, and follow
the same routines without any sense of joy or novelty.
Avoiding When stagnation becomes too unpleasant, partners dis-
tance themselves in more overt ways. They might use excuses, such as
“I’ve been busy lately,” or direct requests, such as “Please don’t call. I don’t
want to see you now.” In either case, the writing about the relationship’s
future is clearly on the wall.
Terminating Characteristics of this final stage include summary
dialogues about where the relationship has gone and the desire to
break up. The relationship may end with a cordial dinner, a note left
on the kitchen table, a phone call, or a legal document stating the
dissolution. Depending on each person’s feelings, this stage can be
quite short, or it may be drawn out over time. (See the Understanding
Communication Technology box on the next page for a discussion of
breaking up online.)
One key difference between couples who get together again after
a breakup and those who go their separate ways is how well they
communicate about their dissatisfaction and negotiate for a mutu-
ally appealing fresh start. Unsuccessful couples deal with their prob-
lems by avoidance, indirectness, and reduced involvement with each
other. By contrast, couples who repair their relationships more often
air their concerns and spend time and effort negotiating solutions to
their problems.
A number of practical lessons emerge from the developmental
perspective:
1. Each stage requires different types of communication.
Partners may find that talking about highly personal
issues deepens their bond in the intensifying stage but is
overwhelming sooner than that. Likewise, the polite behavior
of the first two stages may seem cool and distant as intimacy
increases.
2. Relational development involves risk and vulnerability.
At any stage—even those associated with coming together—
the relationship may falter. Intimacy only evolves if people
are willing to take a chance of becoming gradually more
self-disclosive.124
3. Partners can change the direction a relationship is headed.
The direction a relationship takes isn’t inevitable. Partners may
recognize the early signs of “coming apart” in time to reverse the
trend. For example, partners who realize they are differentiating
or stagnating can refresh their relationship by focusing energy
on the intimacy-enhancing communication of experimenting,
intensifying, and integrating. As Knapp puts it, movement is
always to a new place.125
Having considered the differences between friendship, romance, and
family relationships, let’s focus on communication patterns common
to all types of interpersonal communication.
CHECKLIST Continued
Keep the tone light. This isn’t the time to
make an over-the-top clothing selection,
share your deepest secrets, or interrogate
your date with highly personal questions.
Instead, encourage conversation with casual
questions, and share something (but not
everything) about yourself.
Be playful. Psychologist Seth Meyers sug-
gests the following techniques to break the
ice:122 Pay your date a sincere compliment,
pose fun questions, share a light-hearted
story about yourself, and don’t forget to
smile and laugh. “Let yourself enjoy your
first dates,”123 he suggests.
cultural idiom
on the wall: clear evidence of future
problems
ASK YOURSELF
In what ways have
you established an
integrated identity
with the people who
are close to you? How
does that enhance your
relationships? Does it
ever go too far?
?
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UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
To End This Romance, Just Press “Send”
It was the middle of a workday two weeks ago, and Larry was
deep into a meeting when a text message began scrolling
across his cell phone screen. He glanced at it and thought:
“You can’t be serious.”
It was no joke. His girlfriend was breaking up with
him . . . again. And she was doing it by email . . . again.
For the sixth time in eight months, she had ended their rela-
tionship electronically rather than face-to-face. He had sensed
trouble—he had been opening his email with trepidation
for weeks—so the previous day he had suggested that they
meet in person to talk things over. But she nixed that, instead
choosing to send the latest in what Larry had begun to con-
sider part of a virtual genre: “the goodbye email.”
Understandably, he’d like to say his own goodbye to that
genre. “Email is horrible,” says Larry, 36, a U.S. Air Force ser-
geant from New Hampshire who asked that his last name
not be used. “You just get to the point where you hate it. You
can’t have dialogue. You don’t have that person in front of
you. You just have that black-and-white text. It’s a very cold
way of communicating.”
Cold, maybe. Popular, though. The use of email and instant
messaging to end intimate relationships is gaining popularity
because instantaneous communication makes it easy—some
say too easy—to just call the whole thing off. Want to avoid
one of those squirmy, awkward breakup scenes? Want to
control the dialogue while removing facial expressions, vocal
inflections, and body language from the equation? A solu-
tion is as near as your keyboard or cell phone.
Sometimes there is a legitimate reason for wanting to avoid
personal contact. Tara, a 32-year-old woman who lives near
Boston, says her ex-husband was intimidating and emotion-
ally abusive during their marriage. So when she wanted to
end the marriage several years ago, she felt more comfort-
able doing so by sending a text message.
Tara says that since then she has ended several other rela-
tionships by email. “I’m a softie, and I hate hurting people’s
feelings,” she says. Recently she laid the groundwork for
breaking her engagement with a series of emails to her
fiancé. After ending the engagement last week, she reached
a moment of truth, she says, and has decided that from now
on, if she wants to call it quits, “the email option is out.”
Do you ever use online communication to say things you would
be uncomfortable saying in person? When do you think this
strategy is effective? When might it be unfair to the relationship
or the other person?
Communication Patterns in
Relationships
As you read in Chapter 4, pragmatic rules are often more important in conveying
meanings than are formal definitions. Is teasing a form of aggression or a way to
express affection? It depends. The same applies to rules of conversation and non-
verbal communication. In this section, we consider how a sense of shared meaning
unfolds.
Content and Relational Messages
Virtually every verbal statement contains both a content message, which focuses
on the subject being discussed, and a relational message, which makes a state-
ment about how the parties feel toward one another. Following are some of the
dimensions communicated on a relational level.
Affinity The degree to which people like or appreciate others is called affinity.
Sometimes we indicate feelings of affinity explicitly, but more often the clues are
nonverbal, such as a pat on the back or a friendly smile.
content message A message that
communicates information about the
subject being discussed.
relational message A message
that expresses the social relationship
between two or more individuals.
affinity The degree to which people
like or appreciate one another. As with
all relational messages, affinity is usually
expressed nonverbally.
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Respect The degree to which we admire others and hold
them in esteem is known as respect. Respect and affinity
might seem identical, but they are actually different dimen-
sions of a relationship.126 For example, you might like a 3-year-
old child tremendously without respecting her. Likewise, you
could respect a boss or teacher’s talents without liking him or
her. Respect is a tremendously important and often overlooked
ingredient in satisfying relationships. It is a better predictor of
relational satisfaction than liking, or even loving.127
Immediacy Communication scholars use the term immediacy
to describe the degree of interest and attraction we feel toward
and communicate to others. Immediacy is different than affin-
ity. You may like someone, but if you don’t communicate or
demonstrate that feeling toward the other person, immediacy
will be low.
Control In every conversation and every relationship there is
some distribution of control—the amount of influence com-
municators seek. Control can be distributed evenly among
relational partners, or one person can have more and the
other(s) less. An uneven distribution of control won’t neces-
sarily cause problems unless people disagree on how control
should be distributed.
You can get a feeling for how relational messages operate in
everyday life by imagining two ways of saying, “It’s your turn to do the dishes”—one
in a tone that sounds demanding and another that is matter of fact. The demand-
ing tone says, in effect, “I have a right to tell you what to do around the house,” whereas
the matter-of-fact one suggests, “I’m just reminding you of something you might have
overlooked.”
Most of the time we aren’t conscious of the relational messages that bom-
bard us every day, particularly when the messages match our belief about the
amount of respect, immediacy, control, and affinity that is appropriate. For
example, you probably won’t be offended if your boss tells you to do a certain
job, because you agree that supervisors have the right to direct employees. How-
ever, if your boss delivers the order in a condescending, sarcastic, or abusive
tone of voice, you probably will be offended. Your complaint wouldn’t be with
the order itself but rather would be with the way it was delivered. “I may work
for this company,” you might think, “but I’m not a slave or an idiot. I deserve to be
treated like a human being.”
As the boss–employee example suggests, relational message are usually
expressed nonverbally. To test this fact for yourself, imagine how you could act
while saying, “Can you help me for a minute?” in a way that communicates each of
the following attitudes:
superiority aloofness friendliness
helplessness sexual desire irritation
Remember, however, that although nonverbal behaviors are a good source of rela-
tional messages, they are ambiguous. The sharp tone you take as a personal insult
might be due to fatigue, and the interruption you take as an attempt to ignore your
ideas might be a sign of pressure that has nothing to do with you.
respect The degree to which we hold
others in esteem.
immediacy The degree of interest and
attraction we feel toward and communi-
cate to others. As with all relational mes-
sages, immediacy is usually expressed
nonverbally.
control The social need to influence
others.
In addition to the things we say, our actions, expressions, and
tone of voice send relational messages about how we feel about
relational partners.
Think of a time you said one thing at a content level but sent a
different message with the way you acted. Which message do you
think the people around you trusted more?
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Metacommunication
Social scientists use the term metacommunication to
describe messages that refer to other messages.128 In
other words, metacommunication is communication
about communication. Whenever we discuss a rela-
tionship with others, we are metacommunicating: “It
sounds like you’re angry at me” or “I appreciate how honest
you’ve been.” As the cartoon at left shows, even text
messages can contain subtexts, otherwise known as
metacommunicative dimensions. Given the fact that
nonverbal cues are limited in online communication,
it’s often important to supplement them with meta-
communication (such as “just kidding”).
Tuning in to metacommunication allows us to
look below the surface of a message for underlying
meanings where the issue often lies. For example,
consider friends bickering because one wants to watch
television, while the other wants to talk. Imagine how
much better the chances of a positive outcome would
be if they used metacommunication: “Look, it’s not the
TV watching itself that bothers me. It’s that I think you’re
watching because you’re mad at me. Am I right?”
Metacommunication isn’t just a tool for handling problems. It’s also a way to
reinforce the good aspects of a relationship: “Thank you for praising my work in front
of the boss.” Comments such as this let others know that you value their behavior
and boost the odds that the other people will continue the behavior in the future.
Bringing relational issues out in the open does have its risks. Discussing prob-
lems can be interpreted as a sign of trouble (“Our relationship isn’t working if we
have to keep talking about it”). Furthermore, metacommunication involves a certain
degree of analysis (“It seems like you’re angry at me”), which can lead to resentment
(“Don’t presume to know how I feel”). This doesn’t mean verbal metacommunication
is a bad idea, just that it should be used carefully.
Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships
“We don’t have any secrets,” some people proudly claim. Opening up certainly is
important. Earlier in this chapter you learned that one ingredient in qualitatively
interpersonal relationships is disclosure. You’ve also read that we find others more
attractive when they share certain private information with us. Given the obvious
importance of self-disclosure, we need to consider the subject carefully. Just what is
it? When is it desirable? How can it best be done?
The best place to begin is with a definition. Self-disclosure is the process of
deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would
not normally be known by others. Let’s take a closer look at some parts of this
definition. Self-disclosure must be deliberate. If you accidentally mentioned to a
friend that you were thinking about quitting a job or proposing marriage, that
information would not fit into the category we are examining here. Self-disclosure
must also be significant. Revealing relatively trivial information—the fact that you
like fudge, for example—does not qualify as self-disclosure. The third require-
ment is that the information being revealed would not be known by others. There’s
nothing noteworthy about telling others that you are depressed or elated if they
already know how you’re feeling.
Under the right conditions, self-disclosure is rewarding.129 Talking about
your feelings and experiences can yield a greater sense of clarity. It’s validating
metacommunication Messages
(usually relational) that refer to other
messages; communication about
communication.
self-disclosure The process of delib-
erately revealing information about one-
self that is significant and that would not
normally be known by others.
Source: Leo Cullum The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
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to feel that others know and like the real you, and
self-disclosure often inspires a give and take between
people that can foster emotional closeness.
Models of Self-Disclosure Over several decades, social
scientists have created various models to represent and
understand how self-disclosure operates in relationships.
We will look at two of the best-known models here.
Social Penetration Model Social psychologists Irwin
Altman and Dalmas Taylor describe two ways in which
communication can be more or less disclosive.130 Their
social penetration model (pictured in Figure 7-2)
proposes that communication occurs within two
dimensions: (a) breadth, which represents the range
of subjects being discussed; and (b) depth, how in-
depth and personal the information is.
For example, as you start to reveal to cowork-
ers information about your personal life—perhaps
what you did over the weekend or stories about your
family—the breadth of disclosure in your relation-
ship will expand. The depth may also expand if you
shift from relatively nonrevealing messages (“I went
out with friends”) to more personal ones (“I went on this awful blind date set up by my
mom’s friend . . .”).
What makes the disclosure in some messages deeper than others? Some revela-
tions are certainly more significant than others. Consider the difference between
saying “I love my family” and “I love you.” Other statements qualify as deep dis-
closure because they are private. Sharing a secret you’ve told to only a few close
friends is certainly an act of self-disclosure, but it’s even more revealing to divulge
information that you’ve never told anyone.
Depending on the breadth and depth of information shared, a relationship
can be defined as casual or intimate. The most intimate relationships are those in
which disclosure is great in both breadth and depth. Altman and Taylor see the
development of a relationship as a progression from the periphery of their model
to its center, a process that typically occurs over time.
The Johari Window Another model that helps represent how self-disclosure operates
is the Johari Window.131 Imagine a frame inside which is everything there is to know
about you: your likes and dislikes, your goals, your secrets, your needs—everything.
Of course, you aren’t aware of everything about yourself. Like most people,
you’re probably discovering new things about yourself all the time. To represent
this, we can divide the frame containing everything about you into two parts:
the part you know about (the left quadrants in Figure 7-3) and the part you don’t
know about (the right quadrants). We can also divide this frame in another way.
In this division the first part contains the things about you that others know
(the top two quadrants in the diagram), and the second part contains the things
about you that you keep to yourself (the bottom quadrants).
When we put this all together we have a Johari Window (Figure 7-3) that pres-
ents everything about you as a window divided into four parts. One quadrant rep-
resents the information of which both you and the other person are aware. This
part is your open area. Another represents the blind area: information of which
you are unaware but that the other person knows. You learn about information
in the blind area primarily through feedback. A third represents your hidden
area: information that you know but aren’t willing to reveal to others. Items in
this hidden area become public primarily through self-disclosure. The fourth
Depth
Breadth
FIGURE 7-2 Social Penetration Model
social penetration model A theory that
describes how intimacy can be achieved via
the breadth and depth of self-disclosure.
breadth (of self-disclosure) The
range of topics about which an individual
discloses.
depth (of self-disclosure) The level
of personal information a person reveals
on a particular topic.
Johari Window A model that
describes the relationship between self-
disclosure and self-awareness.
Source: Leo Cullum The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank
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represents information that is unknown to both you and others. At
first, the unknown area seems impossible to verify. After all, if neither
you nor others know what it contains, how can you be sure it exists?
We can deduce its existence because we are constantly discovering
new things about ourselves. It is not unusual to discover, for example,
that you have an unrecognized talent, strength, or weakness. Items
move from the unknown area into the open area either directly when
you disclose your insight or through one of the other areas first.
Interpersonal relationships of any depth are virtually impossible
if the individuals involved have little open area. Going a step further,
you can see that a relationship is limited by the individual who is less
open—that is, who possesses the smaller open area. You have probably
found yourself in situations in which you felt the frustration of not
being able to get to know someone who was very reserved. Perhaps you
have blocked another person’s attempts to build a relationship with
you in the same way. The fact is that self-disclosure on both sides is
necessary for the development of any interpersonal relationship.
Characteristics of Effective Self-Disclosure If you are a Bachelor or
Bachelorette fan, you know the cringeworthy sensation of s elf-disclosure
pushed to its limits. Reality TV manufactures such moments by pres-
suring strangers to develop intimate relationships very quickly with
almost no privacy. But you needn’t fall prey to the same traps in real
life. As you can imagine, publicly sharing every personal detail of your
life with people you barely know usually isn’t effective. Here are seven
questions you can ask yourself to determine when and how self-dis-
closing may be beneficial to you and others.
1. Is the other person important to you?
Disclosure may be the path toward developing a more personal
relationship with someone. If you value the relationship, shar-
ing more about yourself might bring you closer. However, it can
be a mistake to share personal information with people you
don’t trust or know very well.
2. Is the disclosure appropriate?
This is tricky to answer because appropriateness relies on personal
preference and culture. North Americans, with their individualis-
tic orientation, are often comfortable saying things about them-
selves that people from more collectivistic cultures, such as Japan’s,
would never dream of blurting out.132 As a result, North Americans
Known
to self
Not known
to self
Known
to others
1
OPEN
3
HIDDEN
4
UNKNOWN
2
BLIND
Not known
to others
FIGURE 7-3 The Johari Window: Open; Blind; Hidden; Unknown
In her 2016 album Lemonade, superstar
Beyoncé disclosed feelings of betrayal,
jealousy, revenge, and rage surrounding
her troubled marriage to rapper Jay Z.
You may not have millions of followers like
Beyoncé, but do you ever reveal personal
information via social media? If so, what
are your motives? What are the results?
CHECKLIST
When and How Much to
Self-Disclose
Before sharing very important information with
someone who does matter to you, you might
consider what message is likely to be received.
Here are some considerations offered in a study
about sharing family secrets. If you can check
off many of these, it may be worthwhile to self-
disclose a bit and see what happens.
Intimate Exchange
Does the other person have a similar problem?
Would knowing the secret help the other
person feel better?
Would knowing the secret help the other
person manage his or her problem?
Exposure
Will the other person find out this informa-
tion, even if I don’t tell him or her? Is the
other person asking me directly to reveal
this information?
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may come off as exhibitionists who spew personal information to
anyone within earshot, and they may assume that people who do
not disclose as easily are standoffish or uninterested.
3. Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?
Take a realistic look at the potential risks of self-disclosure. You’re
asking for trouble when you open up to someone you know is
likely to betray your confidences or make fun of you. On the
other hand, knowing that your relational partner is trustworthy
and supportive makes it more reasonable to speak out.
4. Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?
Even in personal relationships—with close friends or family
members—constant disclosure isn’t a useful goal. Instead,
the level of sharing in successful relationships rises and falls
in cycles.
5. Is the disclosure reciprocated?
There’s nothing quite like sharing vulnerable information about
yourself only to discover that the other person is unwilling to do the
same. Unequal self-disclosure creates an unbalanced relationship.
6. Will the effect be constructive?
Self-disclosure can be a vicious tool if it’s not used carefully.
Psychologist George Bach suggests that every person has a psy-
chological “belt line.” Below that belt line are areas about which
the person is extremely sensitive. Bach says that jabbing “below
the belt” is a surefire way to disable another person, although
usually at great cost to the relationship. It’s important to con-
sider the effects of your candor before opening up to others.
Comments such as “I’ve always thought you were stupid” may
be devastating—to the listener and to the relationship.
7. Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?
When you express yourself to others, it’s important that you
do so intelligibly by clearly describing the sources of your mes-
sage. For instance, it’s far better to describe another’s behavior
by saying, “When you don’t text me back . . .” than to complain
vaguely, “When you avoid me . . . .” It’s also vital to express your
thoughts and feelings explicitly. “I feel like you no longer want to
spend time with me” is more understandable than “I don’t like
the way things have been going.”
These questions can be useful, but of course every situation and rela-
tionship is unique. Effective self-disclosure is a balancing act, defined
and managed by people within a relationship. The same concept
applies in a larger sense to many aspects of interpersonal communica-
tion, a topic we will discuss next.
Dialectical Perspective of Interpersonal
Relationships
Consider the following blog posts about friendship:
“I’m an ‘all or nothing’ type of person on friendships, and I see
hanging out as a waste of time if you’re not really close friends or if
I don’t see us turning into close friends.”133
“[My best friend] is always asking me to Google hangout her to
chat but I don’t always have the time. I love her and she is is a great
friend, I really need to stop giving all my time to her.”134
CHECKLIST Continued
Urgency
Is it important that the other person know
this information? Will revealing this informa-
tion make matters better?
Acceptance
Will the other person still accept me if I
reveal this information?
Conversational Appropriateness
Will my disclosure fit into the conversation?
Has the topic of my disclosure come up in
this conversation?
Relational Security
Do I trust the other person with this
information?
Do I feel close enough to this person to
reveal the secret?
Important Reason
Is there a pressing reason to reveal this
information?
Permission
Have other people involved in the secret
given their permission for me to reveal it?
Would I feel okay telling the people involved
that I have revealed the secret?
Source: Adapted from Vangelisti, A. L., Caughlin,
J. P., & Timmerman, L. (2001). Criteria for
revealing family secrets. Communication
Monographs, 68, 1–27.
cultural idioms
within earshot: close enough to be
easily overheard
standoffish: aloof, unfriendly
open up: disclose about personal,
private subjects
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As different as these posts seem to be, the odds are that you have felt both ways
before, at least to some degree. The dialectical model suggests that relational part-
ners continually must negotiate to satisfy opposing or incompatible forces, both
within themselves and with one another.135 The way we manage these challenges
defines the nature of relationships and our communication within them.
Partners face three main types of dialectical tensions throughout the life of
their relationship. As you read about each set of opposing needs, consider how
they operate in your life.
Connection Versus Autonomy The conflicting desires for connection and inde-
pendence are embodied in the connection–autonomy dialectic. One of the most
common reasons for breaking up is that one partner doesn’t satisfy the other’s
need for connection:136
“We barely spent any time together.”
“She/he wasn’t committed to the relationship.”
“We had different needs.”
But couples split up for the opposite reason as well:137
“I felt trapped.”
“I needed freedom.”
Even within ourselves, we are faced with the same sort of contradiction. On
one hand we desire intimacy, but we often feel the need to maintain some dis-
tance as well. Linguist Deborah Tannen explains the tension between connection
and autonomy with an analogy from the animal world:
[Porcupines] huddle together for warmth, but their sharp quills prick each
other, so they pull away. But then they get cold. They have to keep adjusting
their closeness and distance to keep from freezing and from getting pricked by
their fellow porcupines—the source of both comfort and pain.
We need to get close to each other to have a sense of community, to feel we’re
not alone in the world. But we need to keep our distance from each other to
preserve our independence, so others don’t impose on or engulf us. This duality
reflects the human condition. We are individual and social creatures. We need
other people to survive, but we want to survive as individuals.138
Managing dialectical tensions is tricky, because our needs change over time.
Author Desmond Morris suggests that each of us repeatedly goes through three
stages: “Hold me tight,” “Put me down,” and “Leave me alone.”139 In marriages
and other committed relationships, for example, the “Hold me tight” bonds of
the first year are often followed by a desire for independence. This need for auton-
omy can manifest itself in a number of ways, such as the desire to make friends
or engage in activities that don’t include the spouse, or making a career move
that might disrupt the relationship. Movement toward autonomy may lead to a
breakup, but it can also be part of a cycle that redefines the relationship in ways
that allow partners to recapture or even surpass the closeness that existed previ-
ously. For example, you might find that spending some time apart makes you miss
and appreciate your partner more than ever.
Openness Versus Privacy Disclosure is one characteristic of interpersonal
relationships. Yet, along with the need for intimacy, your experience probably
shows an equally important need for you to maintain some space between your-
self and others. These sometimes-conflicting drives create the openness–privacy
dialectic.
dialectical model The perspective
that people in virtually all interpersonal
relationships must deal with equally
important, simultaneous, and opposing
forces such as connection and auton-
omy, predictability and novelty, and
openness versus privacy.
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Even the strongest interpersonal relationships require some distance. Roman-
tic partners may go through periods of sharing and times of relative withdrawal.
Likewise, they may experience periods of passion and then periods of little physi-
cal contact.
Predictability Versus Novelty Stability is an important need in relationships,
but too much predictability can lead to feelings of staleness and boredom. People
differ in their own desire for stability and surprises from one time to another. The
classic example is becoming engaged just before graduation or military deploy-
ment, when life may seem particularly novel and uncertain. Commitment may
balance some of the uncertainty people feel in that situation. However, it may feel
too predictable once life settles into a routine. There are a number of strategies
people can use to manage contradictory drives such as these.
Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions Dialectical tensions are a fact of
life in intimate relationships. But there are a number of ways people can deal with
these. Some of these strategies are more productive than others.140 As you read
about them, consider which ones you use and how well they meet your relational
needs.
Denial One of the least functional responses to dialectical tensions is to deny
that they exist. People in denial insist that “everything is fine.” For example, family
members might refuse to deal with conflict, ignoring problems or pretending that
they agree about everything.
Disorientation When communicators feel so overwhelmed and helpless that they
are unable to confront their problems they are said to be disoriented. In the face of
dialectical tensions they might fight, freeze, or even leave the relationship. A couple
who discovers soon after the honeymoon that living a “happily ever after” conflict-
free life is impossible might view their marriage as a mistake and seek a divorce.
Selection When partners employ the strategy of selection, they respond to one end
of the dialectical spectrum and ignore the other. For example, relational partners
caught between the conflicting desires for stability and novelty may decide that
predictability is the “right” or “responsible” choice and put aside their longing for
excitement.
Alternation Communicators sometimes alternate between one end of the dialec-
tical spectrum and the other. Friends may spend time apart during the week, but
reserve weekends for couple time.
Source: ©2006 Zits Partnership Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.
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Polarization In some cases, people find a balance of sorts by each staking a claim
at opposite ends of a dialectic continuum. One partner might give up nearly all
personal interests in the name of togetherness, while the other maintains an equally
extreme commitment to being independent. In the classic demand–withdraw pat-
tern,141 the more one partner insists on closeness, the more the other feels suffo-
cated and craves distance.
Segmentation In segmentation, people compartmentalize different areas of the
relationship. For example, a couple might manage the openness–privacy dialectic
by sharing almost all their feelings about mutual friends with each other but keep-
ing certain parts of their past romantic histories private.
Moderation The moderation strategy is characterized by compromises in which
people back off from expressing either end of the dialectical spectrum. A couple
might decide that taking separate vacations is too extreme for them, but they will
make room for some alone time while they are traveling together.
Reframing Communicators can also respond to dialectical challenges by refram-
ing them in terms that redefine the situation so that the apparent contradiction
disappears. Consider relational partners who regard the inevitable challenges of
managing dialectical tensions as exciting opportunities to grow instead of as rela-
tional problems.
Reaffirmation A final strategy for handling dialectical tensions is reaffirmation—
acknowledging that dialectical tensions will never disappear and accepting or even
embracing the challenges they present. Communicators who use reaffirmation view
dialectical tensions as part of the ride of life.
People who understand the dialectical perspective can better appreciate several
facets of relationship maintenance:
1. Relationships involve continual change and negotiation. Relational
partners who understand dialectical tensions can give up the unrealistic
notion that they will always be in sync or that negotiating relationship
options should be effortless.
2. Partners can be in sync in some ways, but not in others. Recognizing
different dialectical tensions may help people identify the critical issue when
things feel out of balance between them.
3. Some approaches are more conducive to relational satisfaction. It
may be tempting to deny opposing tensions, to polarize, or to exit the
relationship altogether. However, other options are usually more effective
in satisfying each individual’s needs and strengthening the relationship.
Lies and Evasions
People are likely to experience deceit, even in their closest, most intimate relation-
ships. In fact, people lie more than they realize. Research shows that most people
lie, on average, once or twice per day142 and even more when they meet someone
new. Upon first meeting, the average is about three lies in the first 10 minutes, espe-
cially when romantic attraction is a factor.143
Not all lies are equally devastating. As Table 7-1 shows, at least some of the lies
we tell are indeed intended to be helpful, or at least relatively benign. The greatest
damage occurs when the relationship is most intense, when the importance of the
subject is high, and when there have been previous doubts about the deceiver’s
honesty. Of these three factors, the one most likely to cause a relational crisis is
the sense that one’s partner lied about something important.144
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
The Ethics of Lying and
Evading
For a 2-day period, keep track of your hints,
lies, and equivocations and your reasons
for taking one of these approaches in each
situation. What were the positive and
negative consequences (for you and the
other person)?
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Altruistic lies are meant to spare people’s
feelings, but self-serving lies are often
hurtful and manipulative.
Have you ever been caught telling a self-
serving lie to a loved one or been hurt by
a lie told by a someone else? How did it
affect your relationship?
Some Reasons for Lying
REASON EXAMPLE
Acquire resources “Oh, please let me add this class. If I don’t get
in, I’ll never graduate on time!”
Protect resources “I’d like to lend you the money, but I’m short
myself.”
Initiate and continue interaction “Excuse me, I’m lost. Do you live around here?”
Avoid conflict “It’s not a big deal. We can do it your way.
Really.”
Avoid interaction or take leave “That sounds like fun, but I’m busy Saturday
night.” “Oh, look what time it is! I’ve got to run!”
Present a competent image “Sure, I understand. No problem.”
Increase social desirability “Yeah, I’ve done a fair amount of skiing.”
TABLE 7-1
altruistic lies Deception intended to
be unmalicious, or even helpful, to the
person to whom it is told.
Experts suggest that, if you are considering a deception, you consider how
others would respond if they knew about it.145 Would they accept your reasons for
being untruthful, or would they be hurt by them? In light of that, we explore three
types of lies here: altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.
Altruistic Lies You might tell the host of a dinner party that the food was deli-
cious even if it wasn’t. Or you might compliment your boyfriend or girlfriend’s
new haircut to avoid hurting his or her feelings. Altruistic lies are defined, at least
by the people who tell them, as being harmless, or even helpful, to the person to
whom they are told.146 For the most part, white lies such as these
fall in the category of being polite, and effective communicators
know how and when to use them without causing offense.
Evasions Evasions aren’t outright mistruths. Rather, they evade
full disclosure by being deliberately vague. Often motivated by
good intentions, evasions are based on the belief that less clarity
can be beneficial for the sender, the receiver, or sometimes both.147
One type of evasion is equivocation—making deliberately
ambiguous statements with two or more equally plausible mean-
ings.148 As you read in Chapter 4, people sometimes send equivo-
cal messages without meaning to, resulting in confusion. But other
times we are deliberately vague. For instance, when your partner
asks what you think of an awful outfit, you could say, “It’s really
unusual—one of a kind!”
Hinting is a second type of evasion. People hint to bring about a desired
response without asking for it directly. Some hints are designed to save the
receiver from embarrassment. For example, a face-saving guest might hint to
her host by saying, “It’s getting late,” rather than, “I’m bored and want to leave
now.” Other hints are strategies for saving the sender from embarrassment, as
Source: Adapted from categories originally presented in Camden, C., Motley, M. T., & Wilson, A. White lies
in interpersonal communication: A taxonomy and preliminary investigation of social motivations. Western
Journal of Speech Communication, 48, 315.
208
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CHAPTER 7 Understanding Interpersonal Communication
when someone says, “I’m pretty sure smoking isn’t allowed here” instead of the
blunter “Your smoking bothers me.” Clearly, hints only work if people pick up
on them.
Another type of evasion is concealment—failing to reveal information that is
pertinent to the conversation at hand. Concealing an important fact or feeling
isn’t a lie, but it doesn’t reveal the full truth either. You might test whether con-
cealment is ethically justified by asking yourself whether the other person would
find the information you’re not sharing important.
Equivocations, concealments, and hints can be offered in a spirit meant to avoid
hurting people’s feelings. If your friend hits on you and you are not romantically
interested, you might be evasive with an equivocal statement such as, “Your friend-
ship means a lot to me, and I wouldn’t want anything to ruin that.”
Self-Serving Lies Self-serving lies are attempts to manipulate the listener into
believing something that is untrue—not primarily to protect the listener, but to
advance the deceiver’s agenda. For example, people might lie on their income tax
returns or deny that they have been drinking if a cop pulls them over.
Self-serving lies involve an omission or a fabrication—withholding informa-
tion that another person deserves to know or deliberately misleading another
person for one’s own benefit. For example, a romantic partner may keep a love
affair secret or claim to be somewhere that she or he wasn’t.
It’s no surprise that such lies can destroy trust. For one thing, they lead the
deceived person to wonder if anything the other person says is true and what
else might be a lie. However, some couples rebound from serious deceptions,
particularly if the lie involves an isolated incident and the wrongdoer’s apol-
ogy seems sincere.149 The most reliable predictor of what will happen after a
deception is whether romantic partners communicate openly about it. Those
who avoid the issue typically lose the chance to work through it, even if they
want to.150
Although few of us will end up on a reality TV show, perhaps we can learn a
few lessons from them about relationships: (1) very often, it’s not what you say but
how you say it; (2) sharing either too much too soon or nothing about yourself
can derail a relationship; and (3) the lies you tell today may be publicly revealed
tomorrow. Former Bachelorette star Jillian Harris adds one more to the list: “It
sounds cliché, but be yourself.”151
cultural idiom
pick up on: recognize
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CHAPTER 7 Review
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Describe characteristics that distin-
guish interpersonal relationships from impersonal ones
and online communication from face-to-face interactions.
• Interpersonal communication involves two-way commu-
nication that “mazimizes the personal” and respects the
the uniqueness of the people involved.
• Online communication can facilitate connections and
social support that might otherwise be difficult or intim-
idating. However, people who overuse technology may
find that it detracts from their in-person relationships
and can lead them to feel lonely and isolated.
> What does it mean to say that interpersonal relation-
ships are close and irreplaceable?
> List the people you communicate with in one day.
How many of these encounters are relatively imper-
sonal? How many are interpersonal? What functions
do both types of relationships serve in your life?
> How might you maximize the benefits of online
communication in relationships that are important
to you? How might you minimize the potential
drawbacks?
OBJECTIVE Identify the factors that shape inter-
personal attraction.
• We typically gravitate toward people who have a good
deal in common with us, have characteristics that
complement our own, who like us back, and who offer
rewards that are worth the costs required to maintain the
relationship.
> Compare the factors people consider when selecting
relational partners with the caveats presented in the
“Relationship Reality Check” section (p. 187).
> Think of your closest friend. Are you mostly similar
to each other, or are your characteristics complemen-
tary? What is most rewarding about the friendship?
> How might you use the information in this chapter
to help people feel comfortable approaching you and
getting to know you?
7.1
7.2
Objective Describe the different types of com-
munication dynamics in friendships, family relationships,
and romantic relationships.
• Friendships vary in terms of how long they last, how
much the friends share with each other, what they do
together, how obligated they feel toward one another,
and how they communicate.
• Parents have an influence on whether children grow up
to value conversation or conformity as a means of solving
problems.
• Sibling relationships often involve a complex mixture of
camaraderie and competition.
• While it can be challenging to define grandparents’
role, they often share a unique and special bond with
grandchildren.
• Romantic intimacy can be expressed physically, emo-
tionally, intellectually, and through shared activities.
• Some communication theorists suggest that romantic
relationships pass through stages of coming together
(initiating, experimenting, intensifying), sustaining the
relationship (integrating, bonding, differentiating, and
circumscribing), and sometimes, of coming apart (stag-
nating, avoiding, and terminating).
> Describe at least three tips for communicating more
effectively as a friend and at least three ways to
enhance family communication.
> Which of the love languages (affirming words, qual-
ity time, acts of service, gifts, or physical touch) are
most meaningful to you? Which are most meaning-
ful to the significant people in your life?
> Evaluate communication practices used in your own
family. In what ways have they made you a better
communicator? What do you wish had been different
and why?
Objective 7. 4 Explain the relevance of content and
relational meaning, metacommunication, self-disclosure,
dialectical tensions, and deception to interpersonal com-
munication.
• Interpersonal communication consists of both content
(literal) messages and relational messages that suggest
how we feel about the other person in terms of affinity,
respect, immediacy, and control.
7.3
7.4
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
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CHAPTER 7 Understanding Interpersonal Communication
• Metacommunication involves interpersonal exchanges
in which the parties talk about the nature of their
interaction.
• Self-disclosure is the process of deliberately revealing
information about oneself that is significant and that
would not normally be known by others.
> The social penetration model describes how inti-
macy can be achieved via the breadth and depth of
self-disclosure.
> The Johari Window describes the relationship
between self-disclosure and self-awareness.
• The dialectical perspective calls attention to the way rela-
tional partners negotiate a balance between opposing
desires such as autonomy and connection, openness and
privacy, and predictability and novelty.
• People are likely to experience deceit even in their closest
and most intimate relationships.
> Altruistic lies fall in the category of being polite,
and effective communicators know how to use them
without causing offense.
> Evasions are deliberately vague and include equivoca-
tion and hinting. They are generally offered in a spirit
meant to avoid hurting people’s feelings.
> Self-serving lies are attempts to manipulate the lis-
tener into believing something that is untrue. They
involve omission or fabrication.
> Envision and describe a hypothetical encounter that
illustrates the role of nonverbal communication in
relational-level meaning and metacommunication.
> Explain the dialectical tensions you have experienced
in a close relationship and the strategies you have
used to manage them. How successful were those
strategies? Would others have been more effective?
> Create or transcribe a recent conversation, including
as much detail as you can about what people said
and how they said it. See if you can identify examples
of content and relational meaning, metacommunica-
tion, dialectical tension, and deception or omission.
KEY TERMS
affinity p. 198
altruistic lies p. 207
breadth (of self-disclosure) p. 201
content message p. 198
control p. 199
cyber relationship p. 184
depth (of self-disclosure) p. 201
developmental models of relational maintenance p. 194
dialectical model p. 204
family p. 191
immediacy p. 199
interpersonal communication p. 183
intimacy p. 193
Johari Window p. 201
metacommunication p. 200
phubbing p. 185
relational message p. 198
respect p. 199
self-disclosure p. 200
social exchange theory p. 187
social penetration model p. 201
ACTIVITIES
1. Interpersonal Communication: Context and Quality
a. Examine your interpersonal relationships in a contex-
tual sense by making two lists. The first should contain
all the two-person relationships in which you have
participated during the past week. The second should
contain all your relationships that have occurred in
small group and public contexts. Are there any impor-
tant differences that distinguish dyadic interaction
from communication with a larger number of people?
b. Now make a second set of two lists. The first one should
describe all of your relationships that are interpersonal
in a qualitative sense, and the second should describe
all the two-person relationships that are more imper-
sonal. Are you satisfied with the number of qualita-
tively interpersonal relationships you have identified?
c. Compare the lists you developed in Steps a and b.
See what useful information each one contains. What
do your conclusions tell you about the difference
between contextual and qualitative definitions of
interpersonal communication?
2. Your I.Q. (Intimacy Quotient) Answer the following
questions as you think about your relationship with a
person important in your life.
a. What is the level of physical intimacy in your
relationship?
b. What intellectual intimacy do you share?
c. How emotionally intimate are you? Is your emotional
intimacy deeper in some ways than in others?
d. Has your intimacy level changed over time? If so, in
what ways?
After answering these questions, ask yourself how satis-
fied you are with the amount of intimacy in this relation-
ship. Identify any changes you would like to occur, and
describe the steps you could take to make them happen.
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CHAPTER 7 Review
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
ANSWERS to “What Is Your Love Language?” from p. 194.
INTERPRETING YOUR RESPONSES
For insight about your primary love
languages, see which of the following
best describes your answers.
Quality Time
If you answered “a” to one or more
questions, you probably feel loved
when people set aside life’s distrac-
tions to spend time with you. Keep in
mind that everyone defines quality
time a bit differently. It may mean a
thoughtful phone call during a busy
day, a picnic in the park, or a few
minutes every evening to share news
about the day. Consider what “quality
time” means to you and to the special
people in your life.
Acts of Service
Answering “b” means you feel loved
when people do thoughtful things for
you such as washing your car, help-
ing you with a repair job, bringing
you breakfast in bed, or bathing the
children so you can put your feet up.
Even small gestures say “I love you” to
people whose love language involves
acts of service.
Physical Touch
Options labeled “c” are associated
with the comfort and pleasure we
get from physical affection. If your
sweetheart texts to say, “Wish we were
snuggled up together!” he or she is
speaking the love language of touch.
Physical touch includes sex but also
friendly gestures such as a hug or a pat
on the back.
Gifts
If you chose “d,” chances are you
treasure thoughtful gifts from loved
ones. If you get a tear in your eye over
things like a necktie, a finger puppet,
a crayon drawing bestowed by a child,
or a homemade ornament, gifts are
probably an important love language
to you.
Words of Affirmation
Options labeled “e” refer to words
that make us feel loved and valued.
These may be conveyed in a note from
home, a homemade card or poem, a
romantic letter, a song, or an unex-
pected text that simply says, “I love
you.” To people who speak this love
language, hearing that they are loved
(and why) is the sweetest message
imaginable.
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Managing Conflict
in Interpersonal
Relationships
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Understanding Interpersonal Conflict 215
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationships 216
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages
How Communication Climates Develop
Approaches to Conflict 222
Styles of Expressing Conflict
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Gender and Conflict Style
Cultural Influences on Conflict
Conflict in Online Communication
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts 234
Methods for Conflict Resolution
Steps in Win–Win Problem Solving
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
8.1
Explain the unavoidable but
potentially problematic role
of conflict in interpersonal
relationships.
8.2
Describe the role of
communication climate and
relational spirals in interpersonal
relationships, and practice
communication strategies for
keeping relationships healthy.
8.3
Identify characteristics of
nonassertive, indirect,
passive-aggressive, directly
aggressive, and assertive
communication, and explain
how conflict approaches vary.
8.4
Explain the differences
among win–lose, lose–lose,
compromising, and win–win
approaches to conflict resolution,
and apply the steps involved in
achieving win–win solutions.
8
213
IT WAS A MAGIC MOMENT—a couple who met as lifeguards 25
years before, now happily married with children, sharing a nostalgic
swim in a beautiful lake. As the couple paused to tread water, “our
eyes met,” remembers the wife. “I let my sentiments roam freely,
tenderly telling Steve, ‘I’m so glad we decided to do this together.’”
She luxuriated in the moment, expecting “an equally gushing
response.” Instead, Steve said, “Yeah. Water’s good,” and starting
paddling again.1
As quickly and unexpectedly as that, the seeds of conflict can
emerge. It’s no one’s fault, necessarily. Goals and expectations differ.
When they do, hurt feelings and frustration can quickly escalate into
resentment or arguments.
The woman sharing a nostalgic swim with her husband was
Brené Brown, a social work scholar and author of numerous books
about embracing one’s imperfections and daring to be vulnerable.
That doesn’t make her impervious to hurt feelings, of course. “Didn’t
he hear me?” she remembers thinking, as her husband swam away.
“My emotional reaction was embarrassment, with shame rising.”2
You’ve probably found yourself at odds with someone who
is important to you. Conflict management is one of the biggest
challenges we face in close relationships—whether with romantic
partners, friends, coworkers, or family members.
This chapter will help you understand what kinds of communica-
tion create a supportive relational environment. It will also give you a
toolkit for managing disagreements effectively. You might discover a
new appreciation for conflict as a means to transform and strengthen
relationships.
Consider the relevance
of relational climate and
conflict to your own life:
?
Is the emotional tone of your
most important relationships
warm and welcoming,
stagnant, or chilly and
unsatisfying? How so?
?
Recall a recent verbal or non-
verbal message that made
you feel good about yourself.
Now think of one that made
you feel frustrated or unap-
preciated. What was different
about these episodes?
?
What happened the last time
you openly disagreed with
someone? Was your relation-
ship with that person better
or worse afterward?
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Understanding Interpersonal Conflict
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215
Understanding Interpersonal
Conflict
Hurt but not defeated, Brené Brown decided to try again when she and
her husband reached the opposite shore of the lake. “I flashed a smile in
hopes of softening him up and doubled down on my bid for connection,”
she recalls. She again looked him in the eyes, and this time said, “This is
so great. I love that we’re doing this. I feel so close to you.” Her husband
replied, “Yep. Good swim,” and swam away toward the original shore.
After being twice disappointed, Brené remembers thinking indignantly,
“This is total horseshit.”3
You might like to think that such an experience would never happen in
your relationships. But regardless of what we may wish for or dream about,
a conflict-free world just doesn’t exist. Even the best communicators, the
luckiest people, are bound to find themselves in situations in which their
needs don’t match the needs of others. Money, time, power, sex, humor,
and aesthetic taste, as well as a thousand other issues, arise and keep us
from living in a state of perpetual agreement.
Many people think that the existence of conflict means that there’s
little chance for happy relationships with others. Effective communica-
tors know differently, however. They realize that although it’s impossible
to eliminate conflict, there are ways to manage it effectively. And those
effective communicators know the main point of this chapter—that
managing conflict skillfully can lead to healthier, stronger, and more satisfying
relationships.
Whatever form it may take, every interpersonal conflict involves an expressed
struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompat-
ible goals, scarce resources, and interference from one another in achieving their
goals.4
A closer look at four parts of this definition helps illustrate the conditions that
give rise to interpersonal conflict:
1. Expressed struggle. Granted, there are times when we fume to ourselves
rather than expressing our frustration. You may be upset for months because
a friendly neighbor’s loud music keeps you from getting to sleep at night.
That’s most accurately described as internal conflict. Actual interpersonal
conflict requires that both parties know a disagreement exists, such as when
you let the neighbor know that you don’t appreciate the decibel level. You
might say this in words. Or you might use nonverbal cues, as in giving the
neighbor a mean look, avoiding him, or slamming your windows shut. One
way or another, once both parties know that a problem exists, it’s an inter-
personal conflict. In Brené Brown’s swimming story, the conflict has yet to
be expressed, but it will be.
2. Interdependence. However antagonistic they might feel toward each other,
the parties in a conflict are usually dependent on each other. The welfare
and satisfaction of one depend on the actions of another. After all, if they
didn’t need each other to solve the problem, they could solve it themselves
or go their separate ways. Although this seems obvious from a distance,
many people don’t realize it in the midst of a disagreement. One of the first
steps toward resolving a conflict is to take the attitude that “we’re in this
together.”
conflict An expressed struggle
between at least two interdependent
parties who perceive incompatible goals,
scarce rewards, and interference from
the other party in achieving their goals.
No matter how satisfying your
relationships, some degree of conflict is
inevitable.
When do you find yourself most at odds
with the people who matter most? How
do you handle conflicts when they arise?
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3. Perceived incompatible goals. Conflicts often look as if one party’s
gain will be another’s loss. If your neighbor turns down his loud music,
he loses the enjoyment of hearing it the way he wants, but if he keeps the
volume up, then you’re still awake and unhappy. It helps to realize that
goals often are not as oppositional as they seem. Solutions may exist that
allow both parties to get what they want. For instance, you could achieve
peace and quiet by closing your windows and getting the neighbor to do
the same. You might use earplugs. Or perhaps the neighbor could get a
set of headphones and listen to the music at full volume without bother-
ing anyone. If any of these solutions proves workable, then the conflict
disappears.
Unfortunately, people often fail to see mutually satisfying answers to
their problems. And as long as they perceive their goals to be mutually
exclusive, they may create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which the conflict
is very real.
4. Perceived scarce resources. In a conflict, people often believe that there
isn’t enough of the desired resource to go around. That’s one reason conflict
so often involves money.
If a person asks for a pay raise and the boss would rather keep the money or
use it to expand the business, then the two parties are in conflict.
Time is another scarce commodity. As authors, we constantly struggle
about how to use the limited time we have to spend. Should we work on
this book? Visit with our partners? Spend time with our kids? Enjoy the
luxury of being alone? With only 24 hours in a day, we’re bound to end up
in conflicts with our families, editors, students, and friends—all of whom
want more of our time than we have available to give. You probably know
the feeling well.
Having laid out the ingredients for conflict and acknowledged that it’s a fact of
life, let’s turn our attention to ways that we can manage conflict effectively and
even use it to strength our relationships. Creating a healthy relational climate is
a good first step.
Communication Climates in
Interpersonal Relationships
As Brené and Steve swam back across the lake, she envisioned the day unfolding
in a pattern they had enacted many times before when they were frustrated with
each other. She predicted that Steve would say, “What’s for breakfast, babe?” and
she would roll her eyes and say: “Gee, Steve. I forgot how vacation works. I forgot
that I’m in charge of breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. And laundry. And pack-
ing and goggles. And . . .”5
You get the point. Every relationship has a communication climate—an emotional
tone. It’s a lot like the weather. Some communication climates are fair and warm,
whereas others are stormy and cold. Some are polluted and others healthy. Some
relationships have stable climates, whereas others change dramatically—calm one
moment and turbulent the next. Although the sun was shining, Brené predicted that
a metaphorical dark cloud was brewing for her and her husband.
A communication climate doesn’t involve specific activities as much as the
way people feel about one another as they carry out those activities. Consider two
communication classes, for example. Both meet for the same length of time and
communication climate The
emotional tone of a relationship as it
is expressed in the messages that the
partners send and receive.
ASK YOURSELF
Think of a time in
which you and a rela-
tional partner experi-
enced conflict. What
goals and resources
were involved? Were
you able to express
your feelings to each
other and reach a
mutually satisfying
conclusion? Why or
why not?
?
How Sunny Is Your Communication Climate?
Think of an important person in your life—perhaps a friend, a roommate, a family member, or a romantic partner.
Choose the option in each group in the following list that best describes how you communicate with each other, then
see what your answers suggest about your relational climate.
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
1. When I am upset about something, my relational partner is most likely to:
a. ignore how I feel
b. say I should have tried harder to fix or avoid the problem
c. listen to me and provide emotional support
2. When we are planning a weekend activity and I want to do something my partner doesn’t want to do, I tend to:
a. suggest another option we will both enjoy
b. beg until I get my way
c. cancel our plans and engage in the activity with someone else
3. When my partner and I disagree about a controversial subject, we usually:
a. accuse the other person of using poor judgment or ignoring the facts
b. ask questions and listen to the other person’s viewpoint
c. avoid the subject
4. If I didn’t hear from my partner for a while, I would probably:
a. call or text to make sure everything was okay
b. not notice
c. feel angry about being ignored
5. The statement we are most likely to make during a typical conversation sounds something like this:
a. “Were you saying something?”
b. “I appreciate the way you . . .”
c. “You always forget to . . .”
Evaluating Your Responses
Circle your answers to this self-assessment on the grid below. (Note that they do not appear in alphabetical order.) Then
read the forecast on the row where most of your answers appear.
Grouping 1 Grouping 2 Grouping 3 Grouping 4 Grouping 5 Relationship Forecast
c a b a b Indications are that your relational climate is
warm and sunny, with a high probability of
descriptive and supportive communication.
b b a c c Your relationship tends to be turbulent,
with frequent outbreaks of controlling
or defensive behavior. Storm warning:
Escalatory conflict spirals can cause serious
damage.
a c c b a Beware of falling temperatures. It’s natural
for people to drift apart to some degree,
but your relationship shows signs of chilly
indifference and neutrality.
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follow the same syllabus. It’s easy to imagine how one of these classes might be a
friendly, comfortable place to learn, whereas the other might be cold and tense—
even hostile. The same principle holds for families, coworkers, and other relation-
ships. Communication climates are a function more of the way people feel about
one another than of the tasks they perform.
Communication climate influences how people respond when conflict emerges
in a relationship. As you will see in the following section, some relationships involve
trust and respect, whereas others are steeped in criticism and defensiveness.
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages
What makes some climates positive and others negative? A short but accurate
answer is that the communication climate is determined by the degree to which
people see themselves as valued. When we believe others view us as important, we
are likely to feel good about our relationships with them. By contrast, the relational
climate suffers when we think others don’t appreciate or care about us.
As you read in Chapter 7, every message has relational dimensions. This means
that, whether or not we are aware of the fact, we send and receive confirming and
disconfirming messages virtually whenever we communicate. In other words, it
isn’t what we communicate about that shapes a relational climate so much as how
we speak and act toward one another.
Confirming Messages Messages that show you are valued are called confirming.6
Brené was trying to engage Steve in a confirming exchange when she told him she
was glad to be there with him. She remembers how she felt when she didn’t receive
the validation she had expected in return:
“I thought What’s going on? I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel humiliated
or hostile. I wanted to cry and I wanted to scream.”7
When we feel hurt, it may be difficult to articulate exactly what we want. And when
we’re in Steve’s shoes, we may be at a loss for how to respond. We can learn some
valuable tools from scholars, who have identified three main categories of confirm-
ing communication.8 Here are those categories, in order from the most basic to the
most powerful.
1. Show recognition. The most fundamental act of confirmation is to recog-
nize the other person. Recognition seems easy and obvious, and yet there
are many times when we don’t respond to others on this basic level. Brené
remembers that when Steve tossed off his “Yep. Good swim” response, “he
seemed to be looking through me rather than at me.”9
Your friends may feel a similar sense of being invisible or ignored if you
don’t return phone messages or if you avoid eye contact with them or fail to
say hi when you encounter each other at a party or on the street. Of course,
this lack of recognition may simply be an oversight. You might not notice
your friend, or the pressures of work and school might prevent you from
staying in touch. Nonetheless, if the other person perceives you as avoiding
contact, the message has the effect of being disconfirming.
2. Acknowledge the person’s thoughts and feelings. Acknowledging the
ideas and emotions of others is an even stronger form of confirmation than
simply recognizing them. Listening is probably the most common form of
acknowledgment. Of course, as we discussed in Chapter 5, pretending to
listen when you are actually thinking about something else or gathering
ammunition for a rebuttal has the opposite effect of acknowledgment. It’s
confirming messages Actions and
words that express respect and show
that we value the other person.
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more confirming to ask questions, paraphrase, and reflect on what people
are sharing with you. Not surprisingly, leaders who are supportive of others
and their ideas are more successful than leaders who are more concerned
with promoting their own image and ideas.10
3. Show that you agree. Whereas acknowledgment means you are interested
in other people’s ideas, endorsement means that you agree with them. It’s
easy to see why endorsement is the strongest type of confirming message: It
communicates that we have a lot in common and that we are in sync. Not
surprisingly, we tend to be attracted to people who agree with us.11 Fortu-
nately, it isn’t necessary to agree completely with another person in order to
endorse her or his message. You can probably find something in the mes-
sage that you endorse. “I can see why you were so angry,” you might say to a
friend, even if you don’t approve of his or her outburst. Of course, outright
praise is a strong form of endorsement and one you can use surprisingly
often if you look for opportunities to compliment others.
It’s hard to overstate the importance of confirming messages. For example,
people who offer confirmation generously are usually considered to be more
appealing candidates for marriage than their less appreciative peers.12 This prefer-
ence is well founded. One of the most accurate ways to predict whether a marriage
will last is to consider how positive a couple’s communication is while they are
dating.13 This applies to both spoken words such as “thank you” and “I love you”
and to nonverbal cues such as smiles and signs of affection.14
Positive, confirming messages are just as important in other relationships. For
example, family members are most satisfied when they regularly encourage each
other, joke around, and share news about their day.15 And in the classroom, moti-
vation and learning increase when teachers demonstrate a genuine interest and
concern for students.16
Of course, confirming messages are only credible if the person delivering
them seems sincere.17 If a parent or teacher says, “You are incredibly smart” with a
frustrated look on her face, it may be received as veiled criticism (“So why are you
acting this way?”) rather than a compliment.
Disconfirming Messages In contrast to confirming communication, disconfirm-
ing messages deny the value of other people.18 Disagreement can be disconfirming,
especially if it goes beyond disputing the other person’s ideas and attacks the speaker
personally. However, disagreement is not the most damaging kind of disconfirma-
tion. Personal attacks such as “You’re crazy” are even tougher to hear.
disconfirming messages Words and
actions that express a lack of caring or
respect for another person.
Source: Ted Goff, North America Syndicate, 1994
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Can You Hear Me Now?
Thanks to technology, people have never been more
connected—or more alienated.
I have traveled 36 hours to a conference on robotic technol-
ogy in central Japan. The grand ballroom is Wi-Fi enabled,
and the speaker is using the Web for his presentation. Lap-
tops are open, fingers are flying. But the audience is not
listening. Most seem to be doing their email, downloading
files, surfing the Web, or looking for a cartoon to illustrate
an upcoming presentation. Every once in a while audience
members give the speaker some attention, lowering their
laptop screens in a kind of digital curtsy.
In the hallway outside the plenary session, attendees are on
their phones or using laptops and PDAs to check their email.
Clusters of people chat with one another, making dinner
plans, “networking” in that old sense of the term—the
sense that implies sharing a meal. But at this conference it
is clear that what people mostly want from public space is
to be alone with their personal networks. It is good to come
together physically, but it is more important to stay tethered
to the people who define one’s virtual identity, the identity
that counts.
We live in techno-enthusiastic times, and we are most likely
to celebrate our gadgets. Certainly the advertising that sells
us our devices has us working from beautiful, remote loca-
tions that signal our status. We are connected, tethered, so
important that our physical presence is no longer required.
There is much talk of new efficiencies; we can work from
anywhere and all the time. But tethered life is complex; it is
helpful to measure our thrilling new networks against what
they may be doing to us as people.19
Sherry Turkle
criticism A message that is personal,
all-encompassing, and accusatory.
contempt Verbal and nonverbal
messages that ridicule or belittle the
other person.
defensiveness Protecting oneself by
counterattacking the other person.
stonewalling Refusing to engage with
the other person.
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John Gottman, who has spent more than four decades studying how couples
communicate, can predict with a rate of accuracy approaching 90% whether or not
a married couple is headed toward divorce, mostly on the basis of their discon-
firming behaviors.20 Gottman calls the most hurtful of these the “Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse” because, when they are present on a regular basis, a relation-
ship is usually is serious trouble and unlikely to survive.21 Here they are:
1. Partners criticize each other. In contrast to complaints, which may focus
on specific behaviors, criticism is personal, all-encompassing, and accusa-
tory (“You’re lazy.” or “The only person you think about is yourself.”).
2. Partners show contempt. Contempt takes criticism to an ever more
hurtful level by mocking, belittling, or ridiculing the other person (“You’re
pathetic. You disgust me.”). Whereas criticism implies “You are flawed,” con-
tempt implies “I hate you.”22 Expressions of contempt may be explicit, but
they are more often expressed nonverbally—by sneering, eye rolling, and a
condescending tone of voice. Gottman flatly states that the single best single
predictor of divorce is contempt.23
3. Partners are defensive. When faced with criticism and contempt, it’s not
surprising that partners react with defensiveness—protecting their self-
worth by counterattacking (“You’re calling me a careless driver? You’re the one
who got a speeding ticket last month.”). Once an attack-and-defend pattern
develops, conflict usually escalates or partners start to avoid each other.
4. One or both partners engage in stonewalling. One of the most harm-
ful disconfirming messages is stonewalling—a form of avoidance in which
one person refuses to engage with the other. Walking away or giving one’s
partner the silent treatment conveys the message “You aren’t even worth my
attention.”
cultural idiom
what goes around comes around:
Expect to be treated the way you have
treated others.
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These are the big offenders on Gottman’s list, but people may engage in a
number of other disconfirming messages as well. Table 8-1 lists a variety of tactics
people use to create distance between themselves and others. It’s easy to see how
each of them is inherently disconfirming.
It’s important to note that disconfirming messages, like virtually every other
kind of communication, are a matter of perception. That’s why it can be a good
idea to perception check before jumping to conclusions: “Were you laughing at my
joke because you think I look stupid, or was it something else?”
How Communication Climates Develop
When we left Brené and Steve on their swim across the lake, she was feeling
hurt and was already imagining the bickering that might lay ahead for them.
One challenge of conflict management is that we tend to feel defensive and
angry when our expectations are thwarted or we don’t agree with our relational
partners. That’s natural. But acting defensively can make a difficult situation
even worse. One comment can escalate into hours of snide comments or tense
silence.
A relational spiral is a reciprocal communication pattern in which each per-
son’s message reinforces the other’s.24 This affect is captured in the old saying
“what goes around comes around.” In positive spirals, one partner’s confirming
message leads to a positive response from the other person. This positive reaction,
in turn, leads the first person to be even more reinforcing, and so on.
Distancing Tactics
TACTIC DESCRIPTION
Avoidance Evading the other person.
Deception Lying to or misleading the other person.
Degrading Treating the other person with disrespect.
Detachment Acting emotionally uninterested in the other person.
Discounting Disregarding or minimizing the importance of what the other person says.
Humoring Not taking the other person seriously.
Impersonality Treating the other person like a stranger; interacting with her or him as a role rather than a unique
individual.
Inattention Not paying attention to the other person.
Nonimmediacy Displaying verbal or nonverbal clues that minimize interest, closeness, or availability.
Reserve Being unusually quiet and uncommunicative.
Restraint Curtailing normal social behaviors.
Restriction of topics Limiting conversation to less personal topics.
Shortening of interaction Ending conversations as quickly as possible.
Source: Adapted from Hess, J. A. (2002). Distance regulation in personal relationships: The development of a conceptual model and a test of representational validity.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 663–683.
TABLE 8-1
relational spiral A reciprocal commu-
nication pattern in which each person’s
message reinforces the other’s.
escalatory spiral A reciprocal pattern of com-
munication in which messages, either confirming or
disconfirming, between two or more communicators
reinforce one another.
avoidance spiral A communication spiral in which the
parties slowly reduce their dependence on one another,
withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship.
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Negative spirals are just as powerful, although they leave the part-
ners feeling worse about themselves and each other. For example,
when one partner refuses to talk about a sensitive issue, the other
partner is likely to become frustrated and distant as well,25 and when
one person criticizes another, a tit-for-tat pattern of destructive criti-
cism often emerges.26 Conversely, when one partner shows empathy,
the other is more likely to show empathy in return, and conflicts are
more likely to be resolved to both people’s satisfaction.27
Escalatory spirals are the most visible way that disconfirming
messages reinforce one another.28 One attack leads to another until
a skirmish escalates into a full-fledged battle. Although they are less
obvious, avoidance spirals can also be destructive.29 Rather than
fighting, the parties slowly lessen their dependence on one another,
withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship.
Spirals rarely go on indefinitely. Even the best relationships can
go through periods of conflict and withdrawal. If the spiral is nega-
tive, partners may find the exchange growing so unpleasant that
they switch from negative to positive messages without discussing
the matter. In other cases, they may engage in metacommunication.
“Hold on,” one might say. “This is getting us nowhere.” In still other
cases, however, partners may pass the “point of no return,” leading to
the breakup of a relationship.
It often feels that relational spirals have a life of their own.
People may be inclined, even without thinking about it, to mirror
and escalate their partners’ behaviors, even if they are harmful to the
relationship. The best communicators recognize this tendency and
make mindful choices instead. To illustrate, let’s return to Steve and
Brené Brown’s experience on the lake.
When the couple reached the dock where their swim had started, Brené
decided to talk about her problem. Rather than blaming Steve for her
hurt feelings, which was likely to escalate a conflict spiral, she said to him
instead, “I’ve been trying to connect with you and you keep blowing me
off. I don’t get it.”30
Keep reading to see what happened next. In the meantime, take
the “How Sunny Is Your Communication Climate?” self-assessment
quiz on page 217 and follow along as we take a closer look at differ-
ent approaches and techniques for managing interpersonal conflict.
Approaches to Conflict
A popular school of thought suggests that conflict involves the dual
concerns of (1) pursuing our own goals and agendas and (2) empa-
thizing with other people.31,32 You might assume that the most effec-
tive conflict managers tip the scales in favor of empathy. As you will
see, there are situations in which that is a good strategy, just as there
are times when pushing for a particular outcome outweighs other
concerns. Most of the time, however, effective conflict management
involves balancing these dual concerns. In this section, we explore five
conflict styles and then consider the influence of gender, culture, and
online communication on conflict communication. As you read, ask
yourself which of these factors best reflect your conflict approach.
CHECKLIST
Creating Positive
Communication Climates
Here are some ways to initiate positive spirals
and avoid negative ones, based on the work of
Jack Gibb.33
Avoid judgmental statements. Don’t
make “you” statements, such as “You don’t
know what you’re talking about” and “You
smoke too much,” which are likely to cause
defensiveness and escalate conflict.
Use “I” language. Statements such as “I get
frustrated when you interrupt me” focus on
the speaker’s thoughts and feelings instead
of judging the listener. The best “I” state-
ments are specific.
Avoid attempts to control or manipulate
the other person. Be careful not to impose
your preferences without regard for the
other’s needs or interests.
cultural idioms
hold on: wait
face the problem head-on: confront
directly
nonassertion The inability or unwillingness to
express one’s thoughts or feelings.
indirect communication Hinting at a message
instead of expressing thoughts and feelings directly.
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Styles of Expressing Conflict
This section describes five ways people can act when their needs are not
met (summarized in Table 8-2). As you will see, some approaches are
more productive than others. As you read on, ask yourself which styles
you use most often and how these styles affect the quality of your close
relationships.
Nonassertion The inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or
feelings in a conflict is known as nonassertion. Sometimes nonas-
sertion comes from a lack of confidence. At other times, people lack
the awareness or skill to use a more direct means of expression.
Sometimes people know how to communicate in a straightfor-
ward way but choose to behave nonassertively. For example, women
are less likely to clearly refuse an unwanted request for physical inti-
macy from a dating partner they would like to see in the future than
from one they don’t want to see again.34
Nonassertion can take a variety of forms. One is avoidance—either
physically (putting distance between yourself and a friend after an
argument) or conversational (changing the topic, joking, or denying
that a problem exists). People who avoid conflicts usually believe it’s
easier to put up with the status quo than to face the problem head-
on and try to solve it. Accommodation is another type of nonassertive
response. Accommodators deal with conflict by giving in, thus put-
ting the other’s needs ahead of their own.
Despite the obvious drawbacks of nonassertion, there are situ-
ations when accommodating or avoiding is a sensible approach.
Avoidance may be the best course if a conflict is minor and short
lived. For example, you might let a friend’s annoying grumpiness
pass without saying anything, knowing that he is having one of
his rare bad days. Likewise, you might not complain to a neighbor
whose loud music only rarely disturbs you. You may also reasonably
choose to say nothing if the conflict occurs in an unimportant rela-
tionship, as with an acquaintance whose language you find offensive
but whom you don’t see often. Finally, you might choose to keep
quiet if the risk of speaking up is too great: getting fired from a job
you can’t afford to lose, being humiliated in public, or even risking
physical harm.
Assertiveness is most important when the issue and relationship
matter a great deal. In one study, couples volunteered to be video-
taped while they talked about sources of conflict in their marriages.35
Researchers compared the couple’s communication techniques to
their marital satisfaction scores. They found that when the issue was
a relatively minor one, the happiest couples used indirect behaviors
such as hinting. However, when the issue was of great concern, rela-
tionship satisfaction increased among the couples who addressed the
issue assertively rather than indirectly. This was true even when the
couples used communication techniques that are typically considered
negative, such as blaming each other, making demands, or rejecting
their partners’ explanations. The researchers concluded that strong
words should be used sparingly, but that overreacting is sometimes
preferable to downplaying a serious concern.
Indirect Communication The clearest communication is not neces-
sarily the best approach. Indirect communication conveys a message
Focus on mutually beneficial problem
solving. You can help build a healthy rela-
tional climate by seeking solutions that
satisfy both your needs and other people’s
(see p. 236).
Be honest. Think about what you want to
say, and plan the wording of your message
carefully so that you can express yourself
clearly.
Show empathy. Empathic messages show
that you accept another person’s feelings
and can put yourself in his or her place.
Treat others as your equal. People who
convey an attitude of equality communicate
that, although they may have greater talent
than others in certain areas, other people
have just as much worth as they do.
Be open to others’ viewpoints. Dog-
matic and unyielding people stimulate feel-
ings of defensiveness in others. Even when
you have strong opinions about a topic, it’s
important to acknowledge that you don’t
have a corner on the truth.
CHECKLIST Continued
cultural idioms
test the waters: try before committing
softening the blow: easing the effect
punch: force or effectiveness
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in a roundabout manner in order to save face for the recipient.36 Although indirect
communication lacks the clarity of an aggressive or assertive message, it involves
more initiative than nonassertion. It also has none of the hostility of passive-
aggressive “crazymaking.” The goal is to get what you want without arousing the
hostility of the other person. Consider the case of the neighbor’s loud music. One
indirect approach would be to strike up a friendly conversation with the neighbor
and ask if anything you are doing is too noisy for him, hoping he will get the hint.
Because it saves face for the other party, indirect communication is often
kinder than blunt honesty. If your guests are staying too long, it’s probably kinder
to yawn and hint about your big day tomorrow than to bluntly ask them to leave.
Likewise, if you’re not interested in going out with someone who has asked you for
a date, it may be more compassionate to claim that you’re busy than to say, “I’m
not interested in seeing you.”
At other times we communicate indirectly in order to protect ourselves. You
might, for example, test the waters by hinting instead of directly asking the boss
for a raise, or by letting your partner know indirectly that you could use some
affection, instead of asking outright. At times like these, an oblique approach may
get the message across while softening the blow of a negative response.
The advantages of protecting oneself and saving face for others help explain
why indirect communication is the most common way people make requests,
especially if we don’t know the person well or if we feel intimidated about
asking.37 The risk of an indirect message, of course, is that the other party will
misunderstand you or fail to get the message at all. There are also times when the
importance of an idea is so great that hinting lacks the necessary punch. When
clarity and directness are your goals, an assertive approach is in order.
Individual Styles of Conflict
NONASSERTIVE INDIRECT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE DIRECTLY AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
APPROACH TO OTHERS I’m not okay,
you’re okay.
I’m okay, you’re
not okay. (But
I’ll let you think
you are.)
I’m okay, you’re not
okay.
I’m okay, you’re not
okay.
I’m okay, you’re
okay.
DECISION MAKING Lets others
choose.
Chooses for
others. They
don’t know it.
Chooses for others.
They don’t know it.
Chooses for others.
They know it.
Chooses for self.
SELF-SUFFICIENCY Low. High or low. Looks high but
usually low.
High or low. Usually high.
BEHAVIOR IN PROB-
LEM SITUATIONS
Flees, gives in. Strategic,
oblique
behavior.
Concealed attack. Outright attack. Direct
confrontation.
RESPONSE OF OTHERS Disrespect,
guilt, anger,
frustration.
Unknowing
compliance or
resistance.
Confusion,
frustration, feelings of
manipulation.
Hurt, defensiveness,
humiliation.
Mutual respect.
SUCCESS PATTERN Succeeds by
luck or charity
of others.
Gains unwitting
compliance of
others.
Wins by manipulation. Beats out others. Attempts “win–
win” solutions.
TABLE 8-2
passive aggression An indirect
expression of aggression, delivered in a
way that allows the sender to maintain a
facade of kindness.
direct aggression A message that
attacks the position and perhaps the
dignity of the receiver.
assertive communication A style of
communicating that directly expresses
the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feel-
ings, delivered in a way that does not
attack the receiver.
cultural idiom
in the short run: for a short period
of time
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Passive Aggression Passive aggression occurs when a com-
municator expresses hostility in an obscure way. Psychologist
George Bach identified the following varieties of crazymak-
ing38 behavior:
1. Pseudoaccommodators pretend to agree with you.
A passively aggressive person might commit to some-
thing (“I’ll be on time from now on”) but not actually do it.
2. Guiltmakers try to make you feel bad.
A guiltmaker will agree to something and then make you
feel responsible for the hardship it causes him or her (“I
really should be studying, but I’ll give you a ride”).
3. Jokers use humor as a weapon.
An underhanded joker uses humor as an excuse to say
unkind things and then claim innocence (“Where’s your
sense of humor?”).
4. Trivial tyrannizers do small things to drive you crazy.
Rather than express his or her feelings outright, the
trivial tyrannizer does annoying things such as “forget-
ting” to clean the kitchen or pass along a message as
promised.
5. Withholders keep back something valuable.
A withholder punishes others by refusing to provide
thoughtful gestures such as courtesy, affection, or humor.
It’s easy to understand the destructive effects of passive aggression, which can
be as hurtful as direct aggression, discussed next.
Direct Aggression Whereas nonasserters avoid conflicts, communicators who
use direct aggression embrace them. A directly aggressive message confronts the
other person in a way that attacks his or her position—and even the dignity of the
receiver. Many directly aggressive responses are easy to spot:
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“That was a stupid thing to do.”
“What’s the matter with you?”
Other forms of direct aggression come more from nonverbal messages than
from words. It’s easy to imagine a hostile way of expressing statements such as:
“What is it now?”
“I need some peace and quiet.”
Verbal aggressiveness may get you what you want in the short run. Yelling
“Shut up” might stop the other person from talking, and saying “Get it yourself”
may save you from some exertion, but the relational damage of this approach
probably isn’t worth the cost. Direct aggression can be hurtful, and the conse-
quences for the relationship can be long lasting.39
Assertion Assertiveness represents a balance between self-interest and empathy.
Assertive people handle conflicts by expressing their needs, thoughts, and feel-
ings clearly and directly but without judging others or dictating to them. They
have the attitude that most of the time it is possible to resolve problems to every-
one’s satisfaction.
The introverted scientist Raj Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar) on The Big
Bang Theory is comfortable managing disagreements with most of
his best friends. When strangers or women (such as Penny, played by
Kaley Cuoco) are involved, however, he often resorts to whispering
or going silent.
In what situations do you feel confident engaging in conflict
management? When do you feel intimidated?
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Possessing this attitude and the skills to bring it about doesn’t guarantee that
assertive communicators will always get what they want, but it does give them
the best chance of doing so. An additional benefit of such an approach is that
whether or not it satisfies a particular need, it maintains the self-respect of both
the assertors and those with whom they interact. As a result, although people who
manage their conflicts assertively may experience feelings of discomfort while
they are working through the problem, they usually feel better about themselves
and one another afterward—quite a change from the outcomes of nonassertive-
ness or aggression.
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Knowing about assertive messages isn’t the same as being able to express them.
The next few pages describe a method for communicating assertively. It works
for a variety of messages: your hopes, problems, complaints, and expressions of
appreciation. Besides giving you a way to express yourself directly, this format
@WORK
Dealing with Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment takes many forms. It may arise between
members of the same sex or between men and women. It
can be a blatant sexual overture, or any verbal or nonver-
bal behavior that creates a hostile work environment. The
harasser can be a supervisor, peer, subordinate, or even
someone outside the organization.
Thanks to enlightened company policies and government
legislation, targets of sexual harassment have legal rem-
edies. Although formal complaints are an assertive and
powerful way to protect a target’s rights, they can be time
consuming, and those lodging the complaints sometimes
experience depression, ridicule, isolation, and reprisal.40
As Chapter 1 explained, competent communication involves
picking the most effective approach. Here are several
options to consider if you or someone you care about
experience harassment:41
1. Consider dismissing the incident.
This nonassertive approach is only appropriate if you truly
believe that the remark or behavior is trivial. Dismissing
incidents that you believe are important can result in self-
blame and diminished self-esteem. Even worse, it can lead to
repetition of the offensive behavior.
2. Tell the harasser to stop.
Assertively tell the harasser early that the behavior is
unwelcome, and insist that it stop immediately. Your statement
should be firm, but it doesn’t have to be angry. Remember that
many words or deeds that make you uncomfortable may not be
deliberately hostile.
3. Write a personal letter to the harasser.
A written statement may help the harasser to understand what
behavior you find offensive. Just as important, it can show that
you take the problem seriously. Detail specifics about what
happened, what behavior you want stopped, and how you felt.
You may want to include a copy of your organization’s sexual
harassment policy. Keep a record of when you delivered your
message.
4. Ask a trusted third party to intervene.
This indirect approach can sometimes persuade the harasser
to stop. The person you choose should be someone who you
are convinced understands your discomfort and supports your
opinion. Also, be sure this intermediary is someone the harasser
respects and trusts.
5. Use company channels.
Report the situation to your supervisor, personnel office, or
a committee that has been set up to consider harassment
complaints.
6. File a legal complaint.
If all else fails or the incident is egregious, you may file a
complaint with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity
Commission or with your state agency. You have the right to
obtain the services of an attorney regarding your legal options.42
cultural idiom
touchy: easily offended
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
It’s Nothing!
Is it ever justifiable to behave as if you are
angry with someone but refuse to share
your feelings with that person? If so,
when? How would you describe this style
of conflict management?
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also makes it easier for others to understand you. A complete assertive message
has five parts:
1. Describe the behavior in question. An assertive description is specific
without being evaluative or judgmental.
Behavioral description: “You asked me to tell you what I really thought about
your idea, and then when I gave it to you, you told me I was too critical.”
Evaluative judgment: “Don’t be so touchy! It’s hypocritical to ask for my opin-
ion and then get mad when I give it to you.”
Judgmental words such as touchy and hypocritical invite a defensive reaction.
The target of your accusation can reply, “I’m not touchy or hypocritical!” It’s
harder to argue with the facts stated in an objective, behavioral description.
Furthermore, the neutral language reduces the chances of a defensive reaction.
2. Share your interpretation of the other person’s behavior. This part
is where you can use the perception-checking skill outlined in Chapter 2
(pp. 53–54). Remember that a complete perception check includes two pos-
sible interpretations of the behavior:
“Maybe you think I don’t care because it took me two days to call you back. Is that
it, or is there something else?”
The key is to label your hunches as such instead of suggesting that you are
positive about what the other person’s behavior means.
3. Describe your feelings. Expressing your feelings adds a new dimension to a
message. For example, consider the difference between these two responses:
“When you kiss me and nibble on my ear while we’re watching television [behav-
ior], I think you probably want to make love [interpretation], and I feel excited.”
“When you kiss me and nibble on my ear while we’re watching television [behav-
ior], I think you probably want to make love [interpretation], and I feel disgusted.”
Likewise, adding feelings to the situation we have been examining makes
the assertive message clearer:
“When you said I was too critical after you asked me for my honest opinion
[behavior], it seemed to me that you really didn’t want to hear a critical remark
[interpretation], and I felt stupid for being honest [feeling].”
4. Describe the consequences. A consequence statement explains what hap-
pens as a result of the behavior you have described, your interpretation,
and the ensuing feeling. There are three kinds of consequences: (1) What
happens to you, the speaker (“When you tease me, I avoid you”), (2) what hap-
pens to the target of the message (“When you drink too much, you start to drive
dangerously”), or (3) what happens to others (“When you play the radio so loud,
it wakes up the baby”).
5. State your intentions. Intention statements are the final element in the
assertive format. They can communicate three kinds of messages:
• Where you stand on an issue: “I want you to know how much this bothers
me” or “I want you to know how much I appreciate your support.”
• Requests of others: “I’d like to know whether you are angry” or “I hope you’ll
come again.”
• Descriptions of how you plan to act in the future: “Don’t expect me ever
to lend you anything again.”
How Assertive Are You?
Circle your answer to each question using the grid below. Note that the answers do not appear in alphabetical order.
1. You feel you deserve the new corner office that has just become available. What would you do?
a. Hint around that you have outgrown your cubicle.
b. Tell your coworkers, “You deserve it more than I do,” but secretly ask the boss if you can have it.
c. Meet with your supervisor and lay out the reasons you think you deserve the office.
d. Threaten to quit if you aren’t assigned to the office.
e. Stay quiet and hope the boss realizes that you deserve the office.
2. Your best friend just called to cancel your weekend trip together at the last minute. This isn’t the first time your friend has done this,
and you are very disappointed. What do you do?
a. Announce that the friendship is over. That’s no way to treat someone you care about.
b. Reassure your friend that it’s okay and there are no hard feelings.
c. Resolve to cancel the next trip yourself to teach your friend a lesson.
d. Declare, “But I’ve already packed,” hoping your friend will take the hint and decide to go after all.
e. Say, “I feel disappointed, because I enjoy my time with you and because we have made nonrefundable deposits. Can we work
this out?”
3. During a classroom discussion, a fellow student makes a comment that you find offensive. What do you do?
a. Tell the instructor after class that the comment made you uncomfortable.
b. Ignore it.
c. Announce that the statement is the stupidest thing you have ever heard.
d. Say nothing, but tell other people how much you dislike that person.
e. Join the discussion, mention that you see the issue differently, and invite your classmate to explain why he or she feels that
way.
4. You are on a first date when the other person suggests seeing a movie you are sure you will hate. What do you do?
a. Lie and say you’ve already seen it.
b. Say, “Sure!” How bad can it be?
c. Say, “Okaaay,” and raise your eyebrows in a way that suggests your date must be either stupid or kidding.
d. Suggest that you engage in another activity instead.
e. Proclaim that you’d rather stay home and watch old reruns than see that movie.
EVALUATING YOUR RESPONSES
Question 1 Question 2 Question 3 Question 4
ROW 1 e b b b
ROW 2 a d a b
ROW 3 b c d c
ROW 4 c e e d
ROW 5 d a c e
SELF-ASSESSMENT
Nonassertive
If the majority of your answers appear
on row 1, you rank low on the asser-
tiveness scale. The people around you
may be unable to guess when you
have a preference or hurt feelings. It
may seem that “going with the flow”
is the way to go, but research sug-
gests that relationships flounder when
people don’t share their likes and
dislikes with one another. Try voicing
your feelings more clearly. People may
like you more for it.
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Indirect
If the majority of your answers appear
on row 2, you tend to know what
you want, but you rely on subtlety to
convey your preferences. This can be
a strength, because you aren’t likely
to offend people. However, don’t be
surprised if people sometimes fail to
notice when you are upset. Research
suggests that indirect communication
works well for small concerns, but not
for big ones. When the issue is impor-
tant to you, step up to say so.
Passively Aggressive
If the majority of your answers appear
on row 3, you tend to be passive-
aggressive. Rather than taking the
bull by the horns, you are more likely
to seek revenge, complain to people
around you, or use snide humor to
make your point. These techniques
can make the people around you feel
belittled and frustrated. Plus, you are
more likely to alienate people than to
get your way in the long run. Try to
break this habit by saying what you
feel in a clear, calm way.
Assertive
If the majority of your answers appear
on row 4, you have hit the bulls-eye
in terms of healthy assertiveness. You
tend to say what you feel without
infringing on other people’s right
to do the same. Your combination
of respectfulness and self-confi-
dence is likely to serve you well in
relationships.
Aggressive
If the majority of your answers appear
on row 5, you tend to overshoot
assertive and land in the aggressive
category instead. Although you may
mean well, your comments are likely
to offend and intimidate others. Try
tuning it back a little by stating your
opinions (gently) and encouraging
others to do the same. If you refrain
from name-calling and accusations,
people are likely to take what you say
more seriously.
cultural idiom
in the long run: Over an extended
period of time
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In our ongoing example, adding an intention statement would complete the
assertive message:
“When you said I was too critical after you asked me for my honest opinion
[behavior], it seemed to me that you really didn’t want to hear a critical remark
[interpretation]. That made me feel stupid for being honest [feeling]. Now I’m
not sure whether I should tell you what I’m really thinking the next time you ask
[consequence]. I’d like to get it clear right now: Do you really want me to tell you
what I think or not [intention]?”
Before you try to deliver messages using the assertive format outlined here,
there are a few points to remember. First, it isn’t necessary or even wise always to
put the elements in the order described here. As you can see from reviewing the
examples on the preceding pages, it’s sometimes best to begin by stating your feel-
ings. In other cases, you can start by sharing your intentions or interpretations or
by describing consequences.
You also ought to word your message in a way that suits your style of speak-
ing. Instead of saying “I interpret your behavior to mean,” you might choose to say,
“I think . . .” or, “It seems to me . . .” or perhaps, “I get the idea. . . .” In the same way,
you can express your intentions by saying, “I hope you’ll understand (or do) . . .” or
perhaps, “I wish you would. . . .” It’s important that you get your message across, but
you should do it in a way that sounds and feels genuine to you.
Realize that there are some cases in which you can combine two elements in a
single phrase. For instance, the statement “ . . . and ever since then I’ve been wanting
to talk to you” expresses both a consequence and an intention. In the same way,
saying, “ . . . and after you said that, I felt confused” expresses a consequence and a
feeling. Whether you combine elements or state them separately, the important
point is to be sure that each one is present in your statement.
Finally, realize that it isn’t always possible to deliver messages such as the ones
here all at one time, wrapped up in neat paragraphs. It will often be necessary to
repeat or restate one part many times before your receiver truly understands what
cultural idiom
on the other hand: from the opposite
point of view
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you’re saying. As you’ve already read, there are many types of psychological and
physical noise that make it difficult for us to understand one another. Just remem-
ber: You haven’t communicated successfully until the receiver of your message
understands everything you’ve said. In communication, as in many other activi-
ties, patience and persistence are essential.
So far, we have been talking about the dual concerns of conflict management
(self and other) as if they are of equal merit. But as you will see in the next sec-
tions, gender and cultural expectations sometimes privilege one over the other,
and conflict often manifests differently in cyberspace than it does in person.
Gender and Conflict Style
The “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” theory of conflict has strong
intuitive appeal. A body of research seems to support the notion that, in general,
men and women typically do approach conflict somewhat differently.
Some differences are evident early on. By the time boys are 6 years old, they
tend to gravitate toward large groups in which there is a clear understanding of
who outranks whom.43 In this context, competition is often considered a way to
earn respect and status. It’s also common for boys to engage in physical tussles with
each other, both as a form of play and as a means of settling disputes. Girls, on the
other hand, tend to gravitate to one-on-one relationships. The emphasis is less on
who outranks whom and more on who is closest to whom. Even in a group, girls
typically know who has best friend status. As a result, girls typically engage in more
prosocial behaviors (offering compliments, showing empathy, providing emotional
support) than boys do and more often shy away from direct confrontations.
Especially because children tend to have mostly same-sex friends, it’s easy to
imagine the misunderstandings that occur when they form other-sex relation-
ships in their teen years and beyond. Girls may feel that boys are insensitive,
boisterous, and emotionally distant, whereas boys may feel that girls are quick to
get their feelings hurt but are reluctant to say outright what is bothering them. On
the bright side, males typically appreciate the emotional support of their female
friends. And women say they enjoy the freedom to be more frank and assertive
with their male friends than they usually are with their female friends.44
Origins of Gender Differences Biology explains some of the difference between
the way males and females deal with conflict. During disagreements, men tend to
experience greater physiological arousal than women, which comes in the form of
increased heart rate and blood pressure. This may be why boys exhibit more aggres-
sive behaviors than girls do, even when they are very young. About 1 in 20 male
toddlers is frequently aggressive, compared with 1 in 100 female toddlers.45
Evolution may play a role as well. Because women are able to bear only a
limited number of children, procreation has favored men who can successfully
compete for their attention and demonstrate their superiority to other males.
Moreover, in their traditional role as hunters and providers, men were challenged
to be bold, physical risk takers.46 It may be that men have evolved to be more phys-
ical and competitive than women because—at least in years gone by—that was an
advantage. By contrast, women have traditionally nurtured children. In that role,
there is an advantage to creating safe environments, working cooperatively with
others, and understanding the nuances of nonverbal communication.47 This may
explain why women are often more sensitive to subtle cues and are more aligned
to harmony and cooperation than to competition.
Although biology and evolution have some influence, as we grow up we learn
to handle our emotions and to mimic our role models. This means that culture
plays an important role as well.48 We all know that there are powerful rewards for
“acting like a lady” or “being a real man” and there are serious consequences for
defying those expectations. In Western cultures, females are typically expected to
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be accommodating and males to be competitive. But these expectations can lead
to frustrating double binds, as we will discuss next.
Conflict Dilemmas Women face a double standard: They may be judged more
harshly than men if they are assertive, but they may be overlooked if they aren’t.
Typically, women are more likely than men to use indirect strategies instead of con-
fronting conflict head-on. They are also more likely to compromise and to give in
to maintain relational harmony. This style works well in some situations, but not in
others. In one study, men and women scored equally well on a set of mathematical
challenges, but the men were twice as likely as the women to enter a tournament
in which they could compete for cash prizes or raises based on their performance.49
As a result of their reluctance to compete, women may be overlooked for raises,
promotions, and other forms of recognition, even though they are highly qualified.
Cultural norms present a dilemma for men as well. Men are typically rewarded
for being competitive and assertive. But those behaviors can seem overly aggres-
sive in close relationships. For example, when conflict arises with coworkers,
friends, and loved ones, a competitive stance can make the situation worse.50
That, coupled with men’s high level of physical arousal in conflict conditions, can
make interpersonal conflict particularly frustrating for them. They are more likely
than women to withdraw if they become uncomfortable or fail to get their way.51
Women may interpret this as indifference, but men often say they detach to avoid
overreacting, physically and verbally, in the heat of the moment.
Gender differences that appear in face-to-face communication also persist
online. When researchers compared messages posted by male and female teen-
agers, they found that the boys typically used assertive language, such as boasts
and sexual invitations, whereas the girls used mostly cooperative language, such
as compliments and questions.52 The teens’ adherence to traditional gender roles
was also evident nonverbally. The girls tended to post photos of themselves in
seductive, receptive poses, and the boys in more rugged, dominant poses. These
personae are likely to influence how they behave when conflict arises.
Commonalities General differences aside, it bears emphasizing that social expec-
tations change over time and stereotypes do not always apply. The qualities men
and women have in common far outnumber their differences. Put another way,
although men and women differ on average, most of us live somewhere in the
middle, where masculine and feminine styles frequently overlap.53 For example,
men and women are roughly the same in terms of how much closeness they desire
in relationships and the value they place on sharing ideas and feelings.54
One danger is that we may stereotype others and even ourselves, based on
differences that are fairly small or don’t actually exist. People who assume that
men are aggressive and women are accommodating may notice behavior that fits
these stereotypes (“See how much he bosses her around? A typical man!”). On the
other hand, behavior that doesn’t fit these preconceived ideas (accommodating
men, pushy women) goes unnoticed or is criticized as “unladylike” or “unmanly.”
What, then, can we conclude about the influence of gender on conflict?
Research has demonstrated that there are, indeed, some small but measurable
differences in the two sexes. But, although men and women may have charac-
teristically different conflict styles, the individual style of each communicator is
more important than a person’s sex in shaping the way he or she handles conflict.
Cultural Influences on Conflict
The ways in which people communicate during conflicts vary widely from one
culture to another. The kind of rational, calm, yet assertive approach that is the
ideal for European American disagreements is not the norm in some other cultures.
For example, in traditional African American culture, conflict is characterized by a
In the TV series Modern Family, Sofia
Vergara plays the highly expressive Gloria
Pritchett, who has a dramatic flair for
conflict. Gloria once warned her husband,
“When you’re married to me, you’re going
to get yelled at many times.”57 In real
life, cultural expectations influence how
people behave in conflict situations.
Are you more inclined to seek out a
passionate argument or to avoid one?
Why?
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
They Seem to Be Arguing
“The Italian language brings out the passion in me,” declares
Ewa Niemiec, who is fluent in Italian, English, and Polish.55
Like many people who are multilingual, she feels that each
language evokes a different feeling. Speaking English makes
her feel polite, but Italian makes her “mouthy and loud.”
That’s not necessarily bad, she says, unless people mistake
the passion for conflict or aggression.
Once, when Niemiec interviewed for a job in Italian, she
found herself “bickering” with her would-be boss. She’s not
unusual in finding that experience enjoyable. Members of
many cultures consider verbal disputes to be a form of inti-
macy and even a game.
Misunderstandings may arise, however, when people from
emotionally reserved cultures observe or interact with
people from emotionally expressive ones. Americans visit-
ing Greece, for example, often think they are witnessing an
argument when they are overhearing a friendly conversa-
tion.56 A comparative study of American and Italian nursery
school children showed that one of the Italian children’s
favorite pastimes was a kind of heated debating that Ital-
ians call discussione, which Americans would regard as
arguing.
Niemiec encourages people to overcome the idea that
emotional language is confrontational. “If you’re plan-
ning to travel or live in Italy,” she says, “be prepared for a
land of strong feelings, loud voices, and even bigger hand
gestures.”
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greater tolerance for expressions of intense emotions.58 And ethnicity isn’t the only
factor that shapes a communicator’s preferred conflict style; the degree of assimila-
tion also plays an important role. For example, Latinos with strong cultural identi-
ties tend to seek accommodation and compromise more than those with weaker
cultural ties.59
In individualistic cultures like that of the United States, the goals, rights, and
needs of each person are considered important, and most people would agree that
it is an individual’s right to stand up for himself or herself. People in such cultures
typically value direct communication in which you say outright what is bothering
you.60 By contrast, people in collectivist cultures (more common in Latin America
and Asia) usually consider the concerns of the group to be more important than
those of any individual. Preserving and honoring the face of the other person are
prime goals, and communicators go to great lengths to avoid any communica-
tion that might embarrass a conversational partner. In these cultures, the kind
of assertive behavior that might seem perfectly appropriate to an American or
Canadian would seem rude and insensitive.
As you might imagine, low-context cultures like that of the United States place
a premium on being direct and literal. By contrast, high-context cultures like that
of Japan value self-restraint and avoid confrontation. Communicators in these
cultures derive meaning from a variety of unspoken cues, such as context, social
conventions, and hints. For this reason, what seems like “beating around the
bush” to an American would be polite to an Asian. In Japan, for example, even a
simple request like “close the door” may seem too straightforward. A more indi-
rect statement such as “it is somewhat cold today” would be more appropriate. Or
a Japanese person may glance at the door or tell a story about someone who got
sick in a drafty room.61 To take a more important example, Japanese are reluctant
to simply say “no” to a request. A more likely answer would be, “Let me think about
it for a while,” which anyone familiar with Japanese culture would recognize as a
refusal. When indirect communication is a cultural norm, it is unreasonable to
expect more straightforward approaches to succeed.
ASK YOURSELF
Choose a conflict style
that is different from
yours, and identify the
assumptions on which
it is based. Next, sug-
gest how people with
different styles can
adapt their assump-
tions and behaviors
to communicate more
effectively with others.
?
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From the examples so far, you might expect the United States to top the charts
in terms of directness when it comes to conflict management. However, a mediat-
ing factor is at play—emotional expressiveness. In this regard, the United States
has a great deal in common with Asian cultures, namely, a preference for calm
communication rather than heated displays of emotion.62 From this perspective,
it may seem rude, frightening, or incompetent to show intense emotion during
conflict. Indeed, people who become passionate are warned about the danger of
saying things they don’t mean.
By contrast, in cultures that value emotional expressiveness, people who do
not show passion are regarded as hiding their true feelings. African Americans,
Arabs, Greeks, Italians, Cubans, and Russians are typically considered highly
expressive.63 To them, behaving calmly in a conflict episode may be a sign that a
person is unconcerned, insincere, or untrustworthy.
With differences like these, it’s easy to imagine how two friends, lovers, or
fellow workers from different cultural backgrounds might have trouble finding a
conflict style that is comfortable for them both. Sometimes we don’t even under-
stand our own reactions to conflict. Many Americans find that, although they
usually consider themselves to be direct and individualistic, they are fairly accom-
modating when it comes to conflict management.64 This may surprise them as
much as it surprises other people.
Conflict in Online Communication
Online communication has changed the nature of interpersonal conflict. Disagree-
ments handled via texting, chatting, email, and blogging can unfold differently
from those that play out in person. Some of the characteristics of mediated com-
munication described in Chapter 1 are especially important during conflicts.
Delay The asynchronous nature of most mediated channels means that com-
municators aren’t obliged to respond immediately to one another.
The inherent delays in mediated conflicts present both benefits and risks. On
the upside, the chance to cool down and think carefully before replying can pre-
vent aggressive blowups.65 This is true on a personal and a global level. Researcher
Donald Ellis commends inclusive chat rooms and discussion boards, calling them
a “new public sphere” and a “deliberative democracy” in which people can share
ideas and take their time considering a wide range of viewpoints.66 On the other
hand, participation requires active involvement. People can just as easily ignore
online posts and fail to respond to emails, texts, and IMs. When they do reply,
there’s the temptation to craft insults and jabs that can make matters worse.
Disinhibition The absence of face-to-face contact can make it easy to respond
aggressively, without considering the consequences until it’s too late. This is espe-
cially likely when people don’t know one another well and when tensions are high.
Researchers describe what they call a “flame war” (based on the term for inflam-
matory or blunt remarks online) that erupted in an online cancer support group.67
A flame war erupted when the mother of a cancer patient posted her opinion that
hospital beds needed by cancer patients were being taken up by “anorexic girls.”
Others weighed in to say she should be more compassionate and less judgmental.
Eventually, the episode erupted into an online feud comprising nearly 100 posts
by 30 of the 42 people in the support group. Capitalized words such as PISSED
OFF, ATTACKING, and VULTURES screamed the participants’ frustration. The
researchers speculate that online communication can facilitate close ties, but at the
same time, people may post comments they wouldn’t say to one another in person.
Although it’s easier to overlook the impact of a hostile approach at a virtual dis-
tance, remember that communication is irreversible: It’s no more possible to retract
a message that’s been delivered than it is to “unsqueeze” a tube of toothpaste.
Musical star Chris Brown has a long
record of airing his disagreements in
Twitter feuds with other celebrities. This
has earned him the reputation of being
an out-of-control hothead.
Have you ever used social media to make
your conflicts public? If so, what were the
consequences?
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Permanence Because emails and text messages come in written form, there’s a
permanent “transcript” that doesn’t exist when communicators deal with conflict
face to face. This record can help clarify misperceptions and faulty memories. On
the other hand, the permanent documents that chronicle a conflict can stir up
emotions that make it hard to forgive and forget.
If online communication seems to be making a conflict worse, you may want
to consider shifting to a face-to-face approach. Although mediated conflict may
feel easier at the time, it may create more lasting damage to the relationship.
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
It’s helpful to understand how conflicts operate, but awareness alone isn’t enough.
The following pages describe several ways to communicate in the face of disagree-
ment. As you read about them, consider which ones you use now, and whether
others might serve you better.
Methods for Conflict Resolution
Regardless of the relational style, gender, or culture of the participants, every con-
flict is a struggle to have one’s goals met. Sometimes that struggle succeeds, and at
other times it fails. In the remainder of this chapter we’ll look at various approaches
to resolving conflicts and see which ones are most promising.
Win–Lose Win–lose conflicts are ones in which one party achieves his or her
goal at the expense of the other. People resort to this method of resolving dis-
putes when they perceive a situation as being an “either–or” one: Either I get what
I want, or you get your way. The most clear-cut examples of win–lose situations
are certain games, such as baseball or poker, in which the rules require a winner
and a loser. Some interpersonal issues seem to fit into this win–lose framework:
two coworkers seeking a promotion to the same job, for instance, or a couple who
disagree on how to spend their limited money.
Power is the distinguishing characteristic in win–lose problem solving,
because it is necessary to defeat an opponent to get what you want. The most obvi-
ous kind of power is physical. Some parents threaten their children with warnings
such as “Stop misbehaving, or I’ll send you to your room.” Adults who
use physical power to deal with one another usually aren’t so blunt,
but the legal system is the implied threat: “Follow the rules, or we’ll
lock you up.”
Real or implied force isn’t the only kind of power used in con-
flicts. People who rely on authority of many types engage in win–
lose methods without ever threatening physical coercion. In most
jobs, supervisors have the potential to use authority in the assign-
ment of working hours, job promotions, and desirable or undesir-
able tasks, and, of course, in the power to fire an unsatisfactory
employee. Teachers can use the power of grades to coerce students
to act in desired ways.
Even the usually admired democratic principle of majority rule
is a win–lose method of resolving conflicts. However fair it may be,
this system results in one group getting its way and another group
being unsatisfied.
There are some circumstances when win–lose problem solving
may be necessary, such as when there are truly scarce resources and
when only one party can achieve satisfaction. For instance, if two
win–lose problem solving An
approach to conflict resolution in which
one party reaches his or her goal at the
expense of the other.
Source: Leo Cullum The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank
cultural idiom
two to tango: both parties affect the
outcome
lose–lose problem solving An
approach to conflict resolution in which
neither party achieves its goals.
compromise An approach to conflict
resolution in which both parties attain
at least part of what they seek by giving
something up.
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suitors want to marry the same person, only one can succeed. And, to return to
an earlier example, it’s often true that only one applicant can be hired for a job.
But don’t be too willing to assume that your conflicts are necessarily win–lose: As
you’ll soon read, many situations that seem to require a loser can be resolved to
everyone’s satisfaction.
There is a second kind of situation in which win–lose is the best method. Even
when cooperation is possible, if the other person insists on trying to defeat you,
then the most logical response might be to defend yourself by fighting back. “It
takes two to tango,” the old cliché goes, and it also often takes two to cooperate.
A final and much less frequent justification for trying to defeat another person
occurs when the other person is clearly behaving in a wrong manner and when
defeating that person is the only way to stop the wrongful behavior. Few people
would deny the importance of restraining a person who is deliberately harming
others, even if the aggressor’s freedom is sacrificed in the process. Forcing wrong-
doers to behave themselves is dangerous because of the wide difference in opin-
ion between people about who is wrong and who is right. Given this difference,
it would seem justifiable only in the most extreme circumstances to coerce others
into behaving as we think they should.
Lose–Lose In lose–lose problem solving, neither side is satisfied with the out-
come. Although the name of this approach is so discouraging that it’s hard to
imagine how anyone could willingly use it, in truth, lose–lose is a fairly common
way to handle conflicts. In many instances both parties strive to be winners, but
as a result of the struggle, both end up losers. On the international scene, many
wars illustrate this sad point. A nation that gains military victory at the cost of
thousands of lives, large amounts of resources, and a damaged national con-
sciousness hasn’t truly won much. On an interpersonal level the same principle
holds true. Most of us have seen battles of pride in which both parties strike out
and both suffer.
Compromise Unlike lose–lose outcomes, a compromise gives both parties at
least some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals. People
usually settle for compromises when they see partial satisfaction as the best they
can hope for. Although a compromise may be better than losing everything, this
approach hardly seems to deserve the positive image it has with some people. In
his valuable book on conflict resolution, management consultant Albert Filley
makes an interesting observation about our attitudes toward this approach.68 Why
is it, he asks, that if someone says, “I will compromise my values,” we view the action
unfavorably, yet we talk admiringly about parties in a conflict who compromise
to reach a solution? Although compromises may be the best obtainable result in
some conflicts, it’s important to realize that both people in a dispute can often
work together to find much better solutions. In such cases compromise is a negative
word.
Most of us are surrounded by the results of bad compromises. Consider the
conflict between one person’s desire to smoke cigarettes and another’s need to
breathe clean air. The win–lose outcomes of this conflict are obvious: Either the
smoker abstains, or the nonsmoker gets polluted lungs—neither very satisfying.
But a compromise in which the smoker gets to enjoy only a rare cigarette or must
retreat outdoors and in which the nonsmoker still must inhale some fumes or feel
like an ogre is hardly better. Both sides have lost a considerable amount of com-
fort and goodwill. Of course, the costs involved in other compromises are even
greater. For example, if a divorced couple compromises on child care by fighting
over custody and then finally, grudgingly agrees to split the time with their chil-
dren, it’s hard to say that anybody has won.
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Win–Win A fourth option, win–win problem solving, is typically the most sat-
isfying and relationship-friendly. In win–win problem solving, the goal is to
find a solution that satisfies both people’s needs. Neither tries to win at the other’s
expense. Instead, both parties believe that, by working together, it’s possible to
find a solution that reaches all their goals.
Finding a win–win situation usually involves looking below the surface at
what both parties are trying to achieve. Suppose you want a quiet evening at home
tonight and your partner wants to go to a party. On the surface, only one of you
can win. However, by listening carefully to each other, you realize you can both
get your way. You don’t feel like getting dressed up and talking to a room full of
people. Your partner isn’t crazy about that part of it either but would like to con-
nect with two old friends who are going to be at the party. Once you understand
the underlying goals, a solution presents itself: Invite those two friends over for a
casual dinner at your place before they head off to the party. In this way, neither
you nor your partner compromises on what you want to achieve. Indeed, the eve-
ning may be more enjoyable than either of you expected.
Although a win–win approach sounds ideal, it is not always possible, or even
appropriate. Table 8-3 suggests some factors to consider when deciding which
approach to take when facing a conflict. There will certainly be times when com-
promising is the most sensible approach. You will even encounter instances when
pushing for your own solution is reasonable. Even more surprisingly, you will
probably discover that there are times when it makes sense to willingly accept the
loser’s role. All the same, there are so many advantages to win–win problem solv-
ing that we devote the remainder of the chapter to the communication strategies
involved in achieving it.
Steps in Win–Win Problem Solving
Although win–win problem solving is often the most desirable approach to man-
aging conflicts, it is also one of the hardest to achieve. In spite of the challenge,
it’s definitely possible to become better at resolving conflicts. The following pages
Choosing the Most Appropriate Method of Conflict
Resolution
1. Consider deferring to the other person:
• When you discover you are wrong
• When the issue is more important to the other person than it is to you
• To let others learn by making their own mistakes
• When the long-term cost of winning may not be worth the short-term gains
2. Consider compromising:
• When there is not enough time to seek a win–win outcome
• When the issue is not important enough to negotiate at length
• When the other person is not willing to seek a win–win outcome
3. Consider competing:
• When the issue is important and the other person will take advantage of your
noncompetitive approach
4. Consider cooperating:
• When the issue is too important for a compromise
• When a long-term relationship between you and the other person is important
• When the other person is willing to cooperate
TABLE 8-3
win–win problem solving An
approach to conflict resolution in which
the parties work together to satisfy all
their goals.
cultural idioms
second nature: easy and natural
rolling in money: extremely wealthy
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outline a method to increase your chances of being able to handle your conflicts
in a win–win manner, so that both you and others have your needs met. As you
learn to use this approach, you should find that more and more of your conflicts
end up with win–win solutions. And even when total satisfaction isn’t possible, this
approach can preserve a positive relational climate.69
As it is presented here, win–win problem solving is a highly structured activity.
After you have practiced the approach a number of times, this style of managing
conflict will become almost second nature to you. You’ll then be able to approach
your conflicts without the need to follow the step-by-step approach. But for the
time being, try to be patient, and trust the value of the following pattern. As you
read on, imagine yourself applying it to a problem that’s bothering you now.
Step 1: Identify your problem Before you speak out, it’s important to realize
that the problem that is causing conflict is yours. Whether you want to return an
unsatisfactory piece of merchandise, complain to noisy neighbors because your
sleep is being disturbed, or request a change in working conditions from your
employer, the problem is yours. Why? Because in each case you are the person
who is dissatisfied. You are the one who has paid for the defective article; the
merchant who sold it to you has the use of your good money. You are the one who
is losing sleep as a result of your neighbors’ activities; they are probably content
to go on as before. You, not your boss, are the one who is unhappy with your
working conditions.
Realizing that the problem is yours will make a big difference when the time
comes to approach your partner. Instead of feeling and acting in a judgmental
way, you’ll be more likely to share your problem in a descriptive way, which will
not only be more accurate but also will reduce the chance of a defensive reaction.
Step 2: Explore your unmet needs After you realize that the problem is yours,
the next step is to consider what unmet needs have you feeling dissatisfied. Brené
Brown calls this process reckoning with emotion. At one level, she says, conflict itself
can stir up deep-seated fears. “We don’t know what to do with the discomfort and
vulnerability,” Brown says, adding that, “emotion can feel terrible, even physi-
cally overwhelming. We can feel exposed, at risk, and uncertain.”70 Considering
this, it’s no wonder that many people avoid conflict, accommodate other’s wishes,
or disguise their vulnerability with aggression.
The irony, points out Brown, is that avoiding conflict and handling it badly
usually make us feel worse and more disconnected from people, when what we
really want is to be understood and accepted. The good news, she says, is that
we don’t have to be experts at understanding emotions—ours or other people’s.
We need only to be curious about them in an open and nonjudgmental way. This
might involve saying, “I’m having an emotional reaction to what’s happened and I want
to understand.”71
Sometimes a relational need underlies the content of the issue at hand. Con-
sider these cases:
• A friend hasn’t returned some money you lent long ago. Your apparent need
in this situation might be to get the cash back. But a little thought will prob-
ably show that this isn’t the only, or even the main, thing you want. Even
if you were rolling in money, you’d probably want the loan repaid because
of your most important need: to avoid feeling victimized by your friend’s taking
advantage of you.
• Someone you care about who lives in a distant city has failed to respond to
several letters. Your apparent need may be to get answers to the questions
you’ve written about, but it’s likely that there’s another, more fundamental
need: the reassurance that you’re still important enough to deserve a response.
cultural idiom
frame of mind: mental state
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As you’ll soon see, the ability to identify your real needs plays a key role in
solving interpersonal problems. For now, the point to remember is that before you
voice your problem to your partner, you ought to be clear about which of your
needs aren’t being met.
Step 3: Make a date Unconstructive fights often start because the initiator con-
fronts a partner who isn’t ready. There are many times when a person isn’t in the
right frame of mind to face a conflict, perhaps owing to fatigue, being in a hurry,
being upset over another problem, or not feeling well. At times like these, it’s
unfair to insist on an immediate discussion and expect to get full attention for
your problem. If you do persist, you’ll probably have an ugly fight on your hands.
After you have a clear idea of the problem, approach your partner with a
request to try to solve it. For example: “Something’s been bothering me. Can we talk
about it?” If the answer is “yes,” then you’re ready to go further. If it isn’t the right
time to confront your partner, find a time that’s agreeable to both of you.
Step 4: Describe your problem and needs Your partner can’t possibly meet your
needs without knowing why you’re upset and what you want. Therefore, it’s up
to you to describe your problem as specifically as possible. When you do so, it’s
important to use terms that aren’t overly vague or abstract. Recall our discussion
of behavioral descriptions in Chapter 4 when clarifying your problem and needs.
As we have already discussed, it’s also essential that you express yourself in ways
that don’t cause the other person to feel judged and defensive.
When Brown and her husband reached the dock, she told him her feelings had
been hurt by his brief responses and she explained her feelings this way:
I feel like you’re blowing me off, and the story I’m making up is either that you looked
over at me while I was swimming and thought, Man, she’s getting old. She can’t even
swim freestyle anymore. Or you saw me and thought She sure as hell doesn’t rock
a Speedo like she did twenty-five years ago.72
With this statement, Brown showed the self-awareness and courage to say outright
why Steve’s half-hearted responses were so painful to her. She recommends the
phrase “the story I’m making up” as a way to express oneself without blaming the
other person.
Step 5: Check your partner’s understanding After you’ve shared your problem
and described what you need, it’s important to make sure that your partner has
understood what you’ve said. As you may remember from the discussion of listen-
ing in Chapter 5, there’s a good chance—especially in a stressful conflict situa-
tion—of your words being misinterpreted.
Step 6: Solicit your partner’s needs After you’ve made your position clear, it’s
time to find out what your partner needs in order to feel satisfied about this issue.
There are two reasons why it’s important to discover your partner’s needs. First,
it’s fair. After all, the other person has just as much right as you to feel satisfied,
and if you expect help in meeting your needs, then it’s reasonable that you behave
in the same way. Second, just as an unhappy partner will make it hard for you
to become satisfied, a happy one will be more likely to cooperate in letting you
reach your goals. Thus, it is in your own self-interest to discover and meet your
partner’s needs.
You can learn about your partner’s needs simply by asking about them: “Now
I’ve told you what I want and why. Tell me what you need to feel okay about this.” After
your partner begins to talk, your job is to use the listening skills discussed earlier
in this book to make sure you understand.
cultural idiom
keep on top of: stay in control
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Back at the lake, Brené Brown was surprised to find that her husband was deal-
ing with his own fears. He had suffered a vivid nightmare the previous night in
which he had tried desperately to save all five of their children when a boat had
come at them suddenly in the water. He told her:
I don’t know what you were saying to me today. I have no idea. I was fighting off a total
panic attack during that entire swim. I was just trying to stay focused by counting my
strokes.73
Brené understood. As a lifelong swimmer, she and Steve were aware of the
dangers posed by sharing the waterway with motorboats. Such a nightmare would
have unnerved her, too.
Step 7: Check your understanding of your partner’s needs Paraphrase or ask
questions about your partner’s needs until you’re certain you understand them.
The surest way to accomplish this is to use the paraphrasing skills you learned in
Chapter 5.
Step 8: Discuss ways to meet your common goals Sometimes, sharing your feel-
ings and receiving the comfort you both crave is enough to resolve a conflict. At
other times, it’s useful also to borrow some tips from skilled negotiators:
• Identify and define the conflict. We’ve discussed this process in the pre-
ceding pages. It consists of discovering each person’s problem and needs,
setting the stage for meeting all of them.
• Generate a number of possible solutions. In this step the partners work
together to think of as many means as possible to reach their stated ends.
The key word here is quantity: It’s important to generate as many ideas as
you can think of without worrying about which ones are good or bad. Write
down every thought that comes up, no matter how unworkable; sometimes
a far-fetched idea will lead to a more workable one.
• Evaluate the alternative solutions. This is the time to talk about which
solutions will work and which ones won’t. It’s important for all concerned
to be honest about their willingness to accept an idea. If a solution is going
to work, everyone involved has to support it.
• Decide on the best solution. Now that you’ve looked at all the alternatives,
pick the one that looks best to everyone. It’s important to be sure everybody
understands the solution and is willing to try it out. Remember: Your deci-
sion doesn’t have to be final, but it should look potentially successful.
Step 9: Follow up on the solution Conflict management is an ongoing process.
You can’t be sure the solution will work until you try it out. After you’ve tested
it for a while, it’s a good idea to set aside some time to talk over how things are
going. You may find that you need to make some changes or even rethink the
whole problem. The idea is to keep on top of the problem, to keep using creativity
to solve it.
Win–win solutions aren’t always possible. There will be times when even the
best-intentioned people simply won’t be able to find a way of meeting all their
needs. In cases like this, the process of negotiation has to include some compro-
mise. But even then the preceding steps haven’t been wasted. The genuine desire
to learn what the other person wants and to try to satisfy those desires will build
a climate of goodwill that can help you find the best solution to the present prob-
lem and also improve your relationship in the future.
ASK YOURSELF
Think of a conflict in
your life. What are
your needs and fears
regarding the conflict?
What might your part-
ner’s be? How might
your relational climate
be different if you
strived to meet both of
your needs?
?
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As for Brené Brown, she reflects that the conversation in the lake, which might have
ended in bickering and withheld affection, instead resulted in a renewed sense of love
and commitment. Expressing their fears and listening to each other brought them closer.
Afterward, as the couple walked back up to the lake house, Steve popped her playfully
with his wet towel and said, “Just so you know: You still rock a Speedo.”74
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Explain the unavoidable but poten-
tially problematic role of conflict in interpersonal rela-
tionships.
• Conflict is a fact of life in every relationship, and the way
people manage conflict plays a major role in the quality
of their relationships.
• Interpersonal conflict is an acknowledged struggle
between at least two interdependent people who perceive
that they have incompatible goals, scarce resources, and
interference from one another in achieving their goals.
> What distinguishes interpersonal conflict from
the frustration you may feel with the behavior of a
stranger you will never see again?
> Think of a significant interpersonal conflict in your
own life. What goals and resources were involved?
> Imagine that someone you care about has begun to
say, “You’re right. I’m wrong” any time conflict between
the two of you emerges. Do you think this is a good
or a bad sign for your relationship? Why?
OBJECTIVE Describe the role of communication
climate and relational spirals in interpersonal relation-
ships, and practice communication strategies for keeping
relationships healthy.
• Communication climate refers to the emotional tone of
a relationship.
• Confirming communication occurs on three increas-
ingly positive levels: recognition, acknowledgment, and
endorsement.
• By contrast, disconfirming responses deny the value
of others and show a lack of respect. Four particularly
8.1
8.2
damaging forms of disconfirming messages are criticism,
contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
• Relational spirals are reciprocal communication patterns
that escalate in positive or negative ways.
• Communication strategies that enhance relational cli-
mates include using “I” language, striving for mutually
satisfying options, being honest, showing empathy, and
respecting other people’s viewpoints.
> Contrast confirming and disconfirming messages,
and give an example of each.
> Describe a time when you and a relational partner
were involved in an increasingly negative spiral.
What did you do (or what might you have done) to
help stop the downward spiral?
> Identify several disconfirming messages from your
own experience, and rewrite them as confirming
ones using the tips for creating positive communica-
tion climates in this chapter (pp. 216–219).
OBJECTIVE Identify characteristics of nonassert-
ive, indirect, passive-aggressive, directly aggressive, and
assertive communication, and explain how conflict ap-
proaches vary.
• Nonassertive behavior reflects a person’s inability or
unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a con-
flict. It may manifest as avoidance or accommodation.
• Indirect communication involves hinting about a con-
flict rather than discussing it directly.
• Passive aggressive behavior is somewhat indirect, but it
has a hostile tone meant to make the recipient feel bad.
• Directly aggressive communicators attack the problem
and sometimes also the individuals involved.
• Assertive communciators share their feelings and goals
and encourage others to do the same.
• Although individuals differ greatly, in broad terms, men
are typically socialized to approach conflict in a competi-
tive way and women in a cooperative way.
8.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
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CHAPTER 8 Review
confirming messages p. 218
conflict p. 215
contempt p. 220
criticism p. 220
defensiveness p. 220
direct aggression p. 225
disconfirming message p. 219
escalatory spiral p. 222
indirect communication p. 223
lose–lose problem solving p. 235
nonassertion p. 223
passive aggression p. 225
relational spiral p. 221
stonewalling p. 220
win–lose problem solving p. 234
win–win problem solving p. 236
ACTIVITIES
1. Your Confirming and Disconfirming Messages You can
gain an understanding of how confirming and discon-
firming messages create communication spirals by trying
the following exercise.
a. Think of an interpersonal relationship. Describe sev-
eral confirming or disconfirming messages that have
helped create and maintain the relational climate. Be
sure to identify both verbal and nonverbal messages.
b. Show how the messages you have identified have cre-
ated either escalatory or de-escalatory conflict spirals.
Describe how these spirals reach limits and what
events cause them to stabilize or reverse.
2. Constructing Assertive Messages Develop your skill at
expressing assertive messages by composing responses for
each of the following situations:
a. A neighbor’s barking dog is keeping you awake at
night.
b. A friend hasn’t repaid the $20 she borrowed 2 weeks
ago.
c. Your boss made what sounded like a sarcastic remark
about the way you put school before work.
d. An out-of-town friend phones at the last minute to
cancel the weekend you planned to spend together.
e. Now develop two assertive messages you could send
to a real person in your life. Discuss how you could
express these messages in a way that is appropriate for
the situation and that fits your personal style.
• In different cultures, it may be expected that people will
approach conflict indirectly or that they will be expres-
sive and direct about it.
• Online communication offers people an opportunity to
consider carefully before responding, but the relatively
anonymous and permanent nature of online messages
may escalate a conflict’s intensity.
> Describe the pros and cons of each of the following
conflict styles: nonassertive, indirect, passive aggres-
sive, directly aggressive, and assertive.
> Think of a behavior that bothers you. Write out what
you might say to the person involved, including the
components of assertive messages described on pages
225–230.
> Scan several Twitter feeds or the comments senctions
on a blog or YouTube video. Identify examples in
which people said things they might have felt inhib-
ited from saying in person.
OBJECTIVE Explain the differences among win–
lose, lose–lose, compromising, and win–win approaches
to conflict resolution, and apply the steps involved in
achieving win-win solutions.
• Although win–lose and lose–lose conflicts do not sound
appealing, in rare occasions they are the best option.
• Compromise is often heralded in terms of effective
conflict management, but it may not always be the best
option, considering that it involves less-than-optimal
results for everyone involved.
• Win–win outcomes involve goal fullfilment for every-
one. This is often possible if the parties involved have the
proper attitudes and skills.
> List and describe the nine steps for win–win conflict
management described in the final section of this
chapter.
> Think of a time when you compromised to resolve a
conflict. Were you satisfied with the result? Can you
think of a way in which both of you might have met
your goals completely?
> Imagine that you and a friend have just signed the
lease on an apartment with one regular bedroom and
one master suite. Using the principles of win–win
conflict management, how might you work together
to decide who gets which bedroom?
KEY TERMS
assertive communication p. 225
avoidance spiral p. 222
communication climate p. 216
compromise p. 235
8.4
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Communicating in
Groups and Teams
CHAPTER OUTLINE
The Nature of Groups and Teams 245
What Is a Group?
What Makes a Group a Team?
Virtual Groups
Goals of Groups and Their Members 249
Group Goals
Individual Goals
Characteristics of Groups and Teams 250
Rules and Norms
Patterns of Interaction
Roles
Leadership and Communication 256
Understanding Leadership
Becoming a Leader
Followership and Communication 263
Types of Followers
The Power of Followers
9
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
9.1
Identify the characteristics that
distinguish groups and teams
from other collections of people.
9.2
Distinguish between group and
individual goals.
9.3
Explain how groups are affected
by rules, norms, roles, and
patterns of interaction.
9.4
Compare and contrast different
leadership styles and approaches.
9.5
Evaluate the roles that followers
play and the sources of their
power.
243
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THE NEXT TIME you’re in a team meeting, imagine what it would
be like to work with cows. It sounds far-fetched, but one of the most
influential leaders in the modern world made the connection. Nelson
Mandela spent his boyhood days tending cattle in the rolling pas-
ture land of South Africa. He quickly learned that it wasn’t effective
to stand in front of the herd and proclaim, “Follow me!”1 It was more
effective to walk behind and offer encouragement. Mandela explains:
When you want to get the cattle to move in a certain direction, you
stand at the back . . . and then you get a few of the cleverer cattle to go
to the front and move in the direction. . . . The rest of the cattle follow
the few more-energetic cattle in the front, but you are really guiding
them from the back.2
As Mandela grew up, he used his boyhood experiences to help
him understand people. That’s not to say that he considered people
to be as slow-witted as cows. He simply understood that that no one
is likely to be inspired by leaders who simply issue orders. A more
important factor is teamwork. Mandela was fond of saying, “When
people are determined, they can overcome anything.”3
No one could have predicted the degree to which Mandela’s early
leadership lessons would be put to the test. By the time he was a
young man, South Africa was being torn apart by racist policies and
poverty.4 Under apartheid, the country’s system of racial segregation
and discrimination, white South Africans claimed almost 90% of the
land and the vast majority of the country’s wealth.
Mandela challenged the apartheid policies of the white South
African government and spent 27 years in prison as a result. Yet he
persevered, ultimately uniting the country and becoming one of the
greatest civil rights leaders in history.5 Throughout this chapter, we
use Mandela’s legendary approach to teamwork and leadership as a
model to help us succeed in our own endeavors.
Nelson Mandela
recognized the importance
of encouraging team
members by “leading
from behind.” Your own
experience probably
demonstrates this
principle’s importance
even in everyday life.
?
Have you worked with a
leader who appreciates and
supports the contributions of
team members? What kinds
of communication conveyed
the message that followers
are important?
?
How has confirmation of
your value as a team member
shaped your contributions to
a group?
In this chapter, we first explore the importance of group and team work, cov-
ering communication strategies to maximize the rewards of working closely
with others. We then focus on two roles within every team—those of leader
and follower. Chapter 10 continues the exploration of teamwork by focusing
on shared decision making.
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The Nature of Groups
and Teams
Although it may seem that leaders are the ones who
make things happen, change occurs only when people
work together. Mandela saw this dynamic firsthand
as a boy, when people would travel many miles on
foot or horseback to meet with his guardian, a tribal
leader named Jongintaba. The members of the tribe
understood the power of coming together to discuss
issues, rather than working only as individuals.
Your experiences may be closer to home, but
you are probably involved in groups and teams
every day. Some groups, such as those made up of
friends and family, are informal. Others are part of
work and school. Project groups, work teams, and
learning groups are common types. You may belong
to some groups for fun (a band or athletic team)
and others for profit (an investment group). Others
center on personal growth (religious study, exercise)
or advocacy (Save the Whales or Habitat for Human-
ity). You can probably think of more examples that
illustrate how groups are a central part of life.
Of course, not every group experience is a good
one. Group work can be immensely gratifying, but
it can also be only vaguely rewarding or even down-
right miserable. Effective teamwork requires effort,
patience, and communication skill.
Mandela remembered that when people assem-
bled at Jongintaba’s home, they would sit in a circle
and engage in heated debates that often lasted for
hours.6 For some people, one of the most stress-
ful aspects of group work is reconciling different
and sometimes highly emotional perspectives. However, Mandela learned from
Jongintaba to become comfortable with that process and to respect it. During those
debates, the leader usually sat quietly and listened. Only when everyone’s voice had
been heard and all angles considered did he offer comment, in a calm, measured
voice.7 From this experience, Mandela learned to encourage open discussion and
collaboration, even among people who might seem, on the surface, to be enemies.
What Is a Group?
Imagine that you’re taking a test on group communication. Which of the following
would you identify as groups?
• A crowd of onlookers looking at a burning building
• Several passengers at an airline ticket counter discussing their need to find
space on a crowded flight
• An army battalion
Because all these situations seem to involve groups, your experience as a canny test
taker probably tells you that a commonsense answer will get you in trouble here,
and you’re right. When social scientists talk about groups, they use the word in a
special way that excludes each of the preceding examples.
Source: THE FAR SIDE ©1987 FARWORKS, INC. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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For our purposes, a group consists of a small collection of people who interact
with one another, usually face-to-face, over time in order to reach goals. This was true of
the people who met regularly at Jongintaba’s home to talk about tribal issues. But
a closer examination of the definition will show why none of the collections of
people described in the previous bulleted list qualifies as a group.
Interaction Without interaction, a collection of people isn’t a group. Con-
sider, for example, the onlookers at a fire. Though they all occupy the same
area at a given time, they have virtually nothing to do with one another. Of
course, if they should begin interacting—working together to give first aid to
or rescue victims, for example—the situation would change. This requirement
of interaction highlights the difference between true groups and collections of
individuals who merely co-act, simultaneously engaging in a similar activity
without communicating with one another. Students who passively listen to a
lecture don’t technically constitute a group until they begin to exchange mes-
sages verbally and nonverbally with one another and their instructor. (This
explains why some students feel isolated even though they spend so much time
on a crowded campus. Despite being surrounded by others, they really don’t
belong to any groups.)
Interdependence In groups, people don’t just interact: Group members are
interdependent.8 By contrast, when people don’t need one another, they are a col-
lection of individuals and not a group. Author John Krakauer captures this dis-
tinction in his account of climbers seeking to reach the peak of Mount Everest:
[An] odd feeling of isolation hung in the air. We were a team in name only, I’d
sadly come to realize. Although in a few hours we would leave camp as a group,
we would ascend as individuals, linked to one another by neither rope nor any
deep sense of loyalty. Each client was in it for himself or herself, pretty much.
And I was no different: I sincerely hoped Doug got to the top, for instance, yet
I would do everything in my power to keep pushing on if he turned around.9
In a true group, the behavior of one person affects all the others in what can be
called a “ripple effect.”10 Consider your own experience in family and work groups.
When one member behaves poorly, his or her actions shape the way the entire
group functions. The ripple effect can be positive as well as negative. Beneficial
actions by some members help everyone.
Time A collection of people who interact for a short while doesn’t qualify as a
group. As you’ll soon read, groups who work together for any length of time begin
to take on characteristics that aren’t present in temporary aggregations. There are
some occasions when a collection of individuals pulls together to tackle a goal
quite quickly. A stirring example of this phenomenon occurred on September 11,
2001, when a group of passengers on United Airlines flight 93 banded together in
a matter of minutes to thwart the efforts of hijackers who were attempting to crash
the plane into a Washington, DC, landmark. Despite examples of ad hoc groups
like this, most groups work together long enough to develop a sense of identity
and history that shapes their ongoing effectiveness.
Size Our definition of groups includes the word small. Most experts in the field
set the lower limit of group size at three members.11 This decision isn’t arbitrary,
because there are some significant differences between two- and three-person
communication. For example, the only ways two people can resolve a conflict are
to change each other’s minds, give in, or compromise. In a larger group, however,
there’s a possibility of members forming alliances either to put increased pressure
on dissenting members or to outvote them.
group A small collection of people
whose members interact with one
another, usually face-to-face, over time
in order to reach goals.
ASK YOURSELF
Think of a team you
have known. Which
of the characteristics
listed here did it exhibit?
Which did it not, and
what were the results?
?
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There is less agreement about the maxi-
mum number of people in a group.12 Though
no expert would call a 500-member army
battalion a group in our sense of the word
(it would be labeled an organization), most
experts are reluctant to set an arbitrary upper
limit. Probably the best description of small-
ness is the ability for each member to be able
to know and react to every other member. It’s
sufficient to say that our focus in these pages
will be on collections of people ranging in
size from 3 to around 20.
Research suggests that the optimal
size for a group is the smallest number of
people capable of performing the task at
hand effectively.13 Generally speaking, as a
group becomes larger, it is harder to schedule
meetings, the members have less access to
important information, and they have fewer
chances to participate—three ingredients in
a recipe for dissatisfaction.
What Makes a Group a Team?
Teams share the same qualities as groups, but they take group work to a higher
level. You probably know a team when you see it: Members are proud of their
identity. They trust and value one another and cooperate. They seek, and often
achieve, excellence. Teamwork doesn’t come from what the group is doing, but how
they do it.
Communication researchers Carl Larson and Frank LaFasto have spent their
careers interviewing members of more than 6,000 teams that were clearly win-
ners.14 The groups came from a wide range of enterprises, including a successful
mountaineering expedition, a top cardiac surgery team, the developers of ground-
breaking computer technology, and championship athletic teams. Although the
goals of these high-achieving teams were varied, they shared several important
characteristics.
• Clear and inspiring shared goals. Members of a winning team know why their
group exists, and they believe that purpose is important and worthwhile.
Ineffective groups have either lost sight of their purpose or do not believe
that the goal is truly important.
• A results-driven structure. Members of winning teams focus on getting the job
done in the most effective manner. They do whatever is necessary to accom-
plish the task. Less effective groups either are not organized at all or are
structured in an inefficient manner, and their members don’t care enough
about the results to do what is necessary to get the job done.
• Competent team members. Members of winning teams have the skills neces-
sary to accomplish their goals. Less effective groups lack people possessing
one or more key skills.
• Unified commitment. People in successful teams put the group’s goals above
their personal interests. Although this commitment might seem like a sac-
rifice to others, for members of winning teams the personal rewards are
worth the effort.
• Collaborative climate. Another word for collaboration is teamwork. People in
successful groups trust and support one another.
Not every group is an effective team. Identify a team you know that best exhibits the
characteristics listed on this page.
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• Standards of excellence. In winning teams, doing outstanding
work is an important norm. Each member is expected to do his
or her personal best. In less successful groups, people try to get
by with a minimum amount of effort.
• External support and recognition. Successful teams need an appre-
ciative audience that recognizes their effort and provides the
resources necessary to get the job done. The audience may be a
boss, or it may be the public the group is created to serve.
• Principled leadership. Winning teams usually have leaders who
can create a vision of the group’s purpose and challenge mem-
bers to finish the job.
• Despite these virtues, not all groups need to function as teams.
If the goal is fairly simple, routine, or quickly accomplished, a
group may accomplish it quite adequately. For example, you
may be effective working alone to solve a math problem or
write a press release. But when the job requires a great deal
of thought, collaboration, and creativity, nothing beats team-
work. This is because we literally have greater brainpower
when we work together and because most people feel more
confident tackling complex issues when they share the chal-
lenge as a team.15
Virtual Groups
Imagine convening a panel of remote peers who help each other reach
important goals. That’s the goal of Working Out Loud (WOL) circles,
an online movement championed by John Stepper, former managing
director of Deutsche Bank.16
A WOL circle involves four to five peers with similar interests who
agree to interact online 1 hour a week for 12 weeks. Some circles are
made up entirely of coworkers, while others are broader. Topics for dis-
cussion may include effective interviewing, asking for a raise, open-
ing a new company, and many more. Stepper offers free step-by-step
guidelines at his Working Out Loud website. As of this writing, there
were more than 1,000 WOL circles involving people in 16 countries.17
As the WOL movement illustrates, communication technology
has led to new networking opportunities in the form of virtual
groups, whose members interact with one another through medi-
ated channels, without meeting face-to-face.
Virtual communication has clear advantages. Most obviously,
a virtual team can meet even if the members are widely separated.
This ease of assembly isn’t just useful in the business world. For most
groups of students working on class projects, finding a convenient
time to meet can be a major headache. Virtual groups don’t face this
challenge to the same degree. A second advantage of virtual teams
is that they may partially level status differences, helping promote
effective group functioning. This “leveling” effect can also reduce the
effects of gender differences, to the benefit of the group.18
Yet virtual teams face particular communication challenges. Most
of these involve building strong relationships. If part of the team is in
one location and others are far away, the more distant members may
feel left out and disconnected.19 It can take a while for virtual groups
to work out means of relating to one another. Another danger is that
people will feel less committed to the group or less accountable for
their actions if they don’t know their teammates well. Students who
CHECKLIST
Building an Effective
Team Online
Experts offer the following communication tips
to make the most of virtual interactions:20
Encourage socializing. Building relation-
ships is especially important when members
don’t have the chance to socialize in person.
Make time for members to get acquainted
and enjoy one another’s company.
Strive for face time. The richness of non-
verbal cues and face-to-face communication
is valuable in building a cohesive team. If
possible, create opportunities for members
to meet in one place, especially when the
group is first formed.
Allow and encourage side channels. As
in face-to-face groups, members need a
chance to work together one on one. Phone
calls, emails, and texting can be an efficient
way to speed up the group’s work.
Make expectations clear. Are deadlines firm
or negotiable? How much detail should a job
contain? What does excellent work look like?
Setting clear expectations will help mem-
bers know what is acceptable and what isn’t.
Provide training as necessary. Not every-
body joins a group with the same level of
savvy. Make it easy for members to master
the communication tools they need to make
the team function effectively.
virtual groups People who interact with one
another via mediated channels, without meeting
face-to-face.
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are part of group work in online classes sometimes find that team
members are more likely than usual to shirk their responsibilities and
to avoid communication attempts.21 Although virtual teamwork can
be challenging, the initial problems can usually be resolved.22 See the
checklist on page 248 for some tips.
Goals of Groups and
Their Members
Mandela once said, “If one or two animals stray, you go out and draw
them back to the flock. That’s an important lesson in politics.”23 Part
of his genius was understanding that two forces drive group commu-
nication. The first type involves group goals, the outcomes you seek
to accomplish together. The second involves individual goals, the
personal motives of each member. He took on one of the most daunt-
ing goals imaginable—restoring democracy to a country torn apart
by prejudice and brutal oppression. At the same time, he knew that
an equally important goal was establishing and nurturing relation-
ships between individuals on all sides of the issue. Even as Mandela
vehemently opposed racist policies, he was willing to interact calmly
with members of the white establishment, aware that they would all
have to work together to make needed changes. In prison, he encour-
aged teamwork among fellow warders, and he even befriended white
prison guards.
Group Goals
Clearly, not all groups have the enormous responsibility that Mandela
took on. But the same dynamics of group work apply. Most groups
exist to achieve a collective task: win a contest, create a product, provide
a service, and so on. Along with task goals like these, social goals can be
equally important reasons for a group’s existence: to meet other people
and have fun together. Task and social goals aren’t mutually exclusive:
A working group will probably be more productive when members
enjoy one another’s company.
Individual Goals
Some individual goals are related to the group’s official reason for exist-
ing. For example, your primary motive for joining a class study group
would probably be to master the course material, and you’d volunteer
to help in a local health clinic to make a difference in your community.
Other personal goals might be just about you: Your main reason for
joining an exercise class or investment group might be to make new
friends and have an enjoyable time with them.
Individual goals aren’t necessarily harmful. In fact, they can help
the larger group. A student seeking a top grade on a team project will
probably help the team excel, and an employee aiming for a produc-
tion bonus is likely to boost the performance of her work team.
Problems arise when individual motives conflict with the group’s
goal. You’ve probably experienced this situation. It is especially dif-
ficult when the individual goal is a hidden agenda. Consider an ego-
centric group member whose primary goal, which he would never
admit, seems to be to hog the discussion. Or visualize an athlete
CHECKLIST
Getting Slackers to Do
Their Share
Experts offer the following suggestions to make
sure everyone on your team does his or her fair
share of the work.24,25,26
Focus on the endgame. True motivation
arises from a sense of working together
toward an important goal.
Match the goal to the group size. Make
sure the size and nature of the task match
the size and talents of the team.
Establish clear goals and responsibilities.
Draft a clear action plan to make sure that
group members truly know what is expected
of them.
Provide training. Make sure everyone has
the training and tools to deliver.
Hold people accountable. Ask team
members to regularly share their
accomplishments.
Focus on quality. Agree on clear guidelines
for high-quality work, and offer feedback at
every step.
Ask why. If team members fall behind, ask
them why.
Don’t overlook poor performance. All
team members need to pull their weight, or
others may begin to slack off as well.
Guard against burnout. Pay attention to
members’ emotional states and energy
levels to make sure that unrealistic demands
aren’t sapping their strength.
Celebrate successes. Make sure that even
low-visibility tasks are rewarded with praise
and recognition.
group goals Goals that a group collectively seeks
to accomplish.
individual goals Individual motives for joining a
group.
hidden agendas Individual goals that group
members are unwilling to reveal.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Rules for Hidden Agendas
Some hidden agendas are obviously
harmful. Perhaps others are not. Give
examples to illustrate the difference
between harmful and benign hidden
agendas. Next, develop a set of ethical
guidelines that describes when you
believe it is and is not ethical to
participate in groups without stating
any hidden agendas.
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whose goal of achieving personal glory might damage the team’s overall effective-
ness, or the effect of a member who engages in social loafing—lazy behavior that
some members use to avoid doing their share of the work. (See the checklist on
page 249 for suggestions on how to discourage social loafing.)
Characteristics of Groups and Teams
Whatever their goals, all groups have certain characteristics in common. Understand-
ing these characteristics is a first step to behaving more effectively in your own groups.
Rules and Norms
Whether or not members know it, groups and teams have guidelines that govern
members’ behavior. You can appreciate this fact by comparing the ways you act in
class or at work with the way you behave with your friends. The differences show
that guidelines about how to communicate do exist.
Rules are official guidelines that govern what the group is supposed to do and
how the members should behave. They are usually stated outright. In a classroom,
rules include how absences will be treated, the firmness of deadlines, and so on.
Alongside the official rules is an equally powerful set of unspoken standards
called norms. Social norms govern how we interact with one another (e.g., what
kinds of humor are/aren’t appropriate, how much socializing is acceptable on the
job). Procedural norms guide operations and decision making (e.g., “We always
start on time” or “When there’s a disagreement, we try to reach consensus before
forcing a vote”). Task norms govern how members get the job done (e.g., “Does
the job have to be done perfectly, or is an adequate, if imperfect, solution good
enough?”).
Table 9-1 lists some typical rules and norms that operate in familiar groups. It
is important to realize that our norms don’t always match ideals. Consider punc-
tuality, for example. A cultural norm in our society is that meetings should begin
at the scheduled time, yet the norm in some groups is to delay talking about real
business until 10 or so minutes into the meeting. On a more serious level, one
cultural norm is that other people should be treated politely and with respect, but
in some groups, members’ failure to listen, sarcasm, and even outright hostility
make the principle of civility a sham.
It’s also important to realize that group norms don’t emerge immediately or
automatically. Groups typically experience a stage of forming (coming together)
and storming (experiencing conflict) before they enter a norming phase in which
they find a comfortable rhythm together, and ideally, progress to a performing
stage in which they function cohesively.27
It’s important to understand a group’s norms. On the one hand, following
them helps us fit in. On the other hand, we can sometimes help the group oper-
ate more effectively by recognizing norms that cause problems. For instance, in
some groups a norm is to do things the way they have always been done. Pointing
this out to members might be a way to change the unwritten rules and thereby
improve the group’s work.
Patterns of Interaction
In interpersonal and public speaking settings, two-way information exchange is
relatively uncomplicated. But in a group, the possibilities of complications increase
exponentially. If there are five members in a group, there are 10 possible combina-
tions for two-person conversations and 75 combinations involving more than two
people. Besides the sheer quantity of information exchanged, the more complex
structure of groups affects the flow of information in other ways, too.
social loafing The tendency of some
people to do less work as group members
than they would as individuals.
rule An explicit, officially stated guide-
line that governs group functions and
member behavior.
norms Shared values, beliefs, behav-
iors, and procedures that govern a
group’s operation.
social norms Group norms that
govern the way members relate to one
another.
procedural norms Norms that
describe rules for the group’s operation.
task norms Group norms that govern
the way members handle the job at hand.
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A look at Figure 9-1 (which features a type of diagram usually called a
sociogram) will suggest the number and complexity of interactions that can
occur in a group. Arrows connecting members indicate remarks shared between
them. Two-headed arrows represent two-way conversations, whereas one-headed
arrows represent remarks that did not arouse a response. Arrows directed to the
center of the circle indicate remarks made to the group as a whole. A network
analysis of this sort can reveal both the amount of participation by each member
and the recipients of every member’s remarks.
sociogram A graphic representation of
the interaction patterns in a group.
FAMILY RULES (EXPLICIT) ON-THE-JOB RULES (EXPLICIT)
• If you don’t do the chores, you don’t get your allowance. • Attendance is required at meetings held every Monday
morning at 9 A.M.
• If you’re going to be more than a half hour late, call so the
others don’t worry about you.
• The job of keeping minutes rotates from person to person.
• If the gas gauge reads “empty,” fill up the tank before bringing
the car home.
• Meetings last no more than an hour.
• Don’t make plans for Sunday nights. That’s time for the family
to spend together.
• Don’t leave the meetings to take phone calls except in
emergencies.
• Daniel gets to watch Sesame Street from 5 to 6 P.M.
FAMILY NORMS (UNSTATED) ON-THE-JOB NORMS (UNSTATED)
• When Dad is in a bad mood, don’t bring up problems. • Use first names.
• Don’t talk about Sheila’s divorce. • It’s okay to question the boss’s ideas, but if she doesn’t concede
after the first remark, don’t continue to object.
• It’s okay to tease Lupe about being short, but don’t make
comments about Shana’s complexion.
• It’s okay to chat at the beginning of the meeting, but avoid
sexual or ethnic topics.
• As long as the kids don’t get in trouble, the parents won’t ask
detailed questions about what they do with their friends.
• It’s okay to talk about “gut feelings,” but back them up with
hard facts.
• At family gatherings, try to change the subject when Uncle Max
brings up politics.
• Don’t act upset when your ideas aren’t accepted, even if you’re
unhappy.
Typical Rules and Norms in Two Types of Groups
TABLE 9-1
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In the group pictured in Figure 9-1, person E appears to be connected to the
group only through a relationship with person A; E never addressed any other
members, nor did they address E. Also notice that person A is the most active
and best connected member. A addressed remarks to the group as a whole and to
every other member and was the object of remarks from three individuals as well.
Sociograms don’t tell the whole story, because they do not indicate the
quality of the messages being exchanged. Nonetheless, they are a useful tool
in diagnosing group communication.
Physical arrangement influences communication in groups. It’s obviously
easier to interact with someone you can see well. Lack of visibility isn’t a seri-
ous problem in dyadic settings, but it can be troublesome in groups.
Figure 9-2 shows an all-channel network in which group members share
the same information with everyone on the team. Emails are a handy way to
accomplish this. As you probably know from experience, it’s nice to be in the
loop, but too much sharing can lead to information overload.
Another option is a chain network (also in Figure 9-2), in which informa-
tion moves sequentially from one member to another. Chains are an efficient
way to deliver simple verbal messages or to circulate written
information when members can’t manage to attend a meeting
at one time, but they are not very reliable for lengthy or complex
verbal messages, because the content of the message can change
as it passes from one person to another.
Another communication pattern is the wheel network,
in which one person acts as a clearinghouse, receiving and
relaying messages to all other members. Like chains, wheel
networks are sometimes a practical choice, especially if one
member is available to communicate with others all or most of
the time. This person, called the gatekeeper, can become the
informational hub who keeps track of messages and people.
Groups sometimes use wheel networks when relationships
are strained between two or more members. In such cases,
the central member can serve as a mediator or facilitator who
manages messages as they flow among others. The success of a
wheel network depends heavily on the skill of the gatekeeper.
If he or she is a skilled communicator, these mediated mes-
sages may help the group function effectively. But if the gatekeeper consciously
or unconsciously distorts messages to suit personal goals or plays members off
against one another, the group is likely to suffer.
Our communication patterns are shaped partly by the roles we play. You can
probably think of people who always have the latest news, people who can be
counted on to offer advice and sympathy, people who stay mostly to themselves,
and so on. Next, we will look at the roles typically enacted by group and team
members.
Roles
Roles define patterns of behavior expected of members. Just like norms, some
roles are officially recognized. These formal roles are assigned by an organization
or group partly to establish order. Formal roles usually come with a label, such
as assistant coach, treasurer, or customer service representative. By contrast, informal
roles (sometimes called functional roles) are rarely acknowledged by the group in
words.28
It’s important that task-oriented groups include people who suggest ideas, seek
and share information, keep the group on task, and encourage others. These are
just a few of the task-specific roles that people play. Table 9-2 lists more of them.
A
B
C
D
E
FIGURE 9-1 Patterns of Interaction in a Five-
Person Group
FIGURE 9-2 Small-Group Communication Networks
All-Channel Network
Chain Network
Wheel
Network
all-channel network A communica-
tion network pattern in which group
members are frequently together and
share all information with one another.
chain network A communication net-
work in which information passes sequen-
tially from one member to another.
wheel network A communication net-
work in which a gatekeeper regulates the
flow of information from all other members.
gatekeeper Person in a small group
through whom communication among
other members flows.
roles The patterns of behavior
expected of group members.
formal role A role assigned to a person
by group members or an organization,
usually to establish order.
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Functional Roles of Group Members
TABLE 9-2
TYPICAL BEHAVIORS EXAMPLES
1. Initiator/contributor Contributes ideas and suggestions; proposes
solutions and decisions; proposes new ideas or
states old ones in a novel fashion.
“How about taking a different approach to this chore?
Suppose we . . .”
2. Information seeker Asks for clarification of comments in terms of
their factual adequacy; asks for information
or facts relevant to the problem; suggests
information is needed before making decisions.
“Do you think the others will go for this?” “How much
would the plan cost us?” “Does anybody know if those
dates are available?”
3. Information giver Offers facts or generalizations that may relate to
the group’s task.
“I bet Chris would know the answer to that.” “Newsweek
ran an article on that a couple of months ago. It said . . .”
4. Opinion seeker Asks for clarification of opinions made by other
members of the group and asks how people in
the group feel.
“Does anyone else have an idea about this?” “That’s an
interesting idea, Ruth. How long would it take to get
started?”
5. Opinion giver States beliefs or opinions having to do with
suggestions made; indicates what the group’s
attitude should be.
“I think we ought to go with the second plan. It fits the
conditions we face in the Concord plant best. . . .”
6. Elaborator/clarifier Elaborates ideas and other contributions; offers
rationales for suggestions; tries to deduce how
an idea or suggestion would work if adopted by
the group.
“If we followed Lee’s suggestion, each of us would
need to make three calls.” “Let’s see . . . at 35 cents per
brochure, the total cost would be $525.”
7. Coordinator Clarifies the relationships among information,
opinions, and ideas or suggests an integration
of the information, opinions, and ideas of
subgroups.
“John, you seem most concerned with potential
problems. Mary sounds confident that they can all be
solved. Why don’t you list the problems one at a time,
John, and Mary can respond to each one.”
8. Diagnostician Indicates what the problems are. “But you’re missing the main thing, I think. The problem
is that we can’t afford . . .”
9. Orienter/summarizer Summarizes what has taken place; points out
departures from agreed-on goals; tries to bring
the group back to the central issues; raises
questions about the direction in which the
group is heading.
“Let’s take stock of where we are. Helen and John take
the position that we should act now. Bill says, ‘Wait.’
Rusty isn’t sure. Can we set that aside for a moment and
come back to it after we . . .”
10. Energizer Prods the group to action. “Come on, guys. We’ve been wasting time. Let’s get
down to business.”
11. Procedure developer Handles routine tasks such as seating
arrangements, obtaining equipment, and
handing out pertinent papers.
“I’ll volunteer to see that the forms are printed and
distributed.” “I’d be happy to check on which of those
dates are free.”
12. Secretary Keeps notes on the group’s progress. “Just for the record, I’ll put these decisions in the memo
and get copies to everyone in the group.”
13. Evaluator/critic Constructively analyzes group’s
accomplishments according to some set of
standards; checks to see that consensus has
been reached.
“Look, we said we only had two weeks, and this
proposal will take at least three. Does that mean that
it’s out of the running, or do we need to change our
original guidelines?”
(Continued)
TASK ROLES
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As the list shows, informal roles describe the functions members can fill rather
than their formal positions. Many unofficial roles may be filled by more than one
member, and some of them may be filled by different people at different times.
The important fact is that, at crucial times, the necessary informal roles must be
filled by someone.
Notice that the informal roles listed in Table 9-2 fall into two categories: task
and maintenance. Task roles help the group accomplish its goals, and social
roles (also called maintenance roles) help the relationships among the mem-
bers run smoothly. Not all roles are constructive. Table 9-3 lists some of the
dysfunctional roles that prevent a group from working effectively. As you might
expect, research suggests that groups are most effective when people fulfill posi-
tive social roles and no one fulfills the dysfunctional ones.29
What is the optimal balance between task and social functions? According to
Robert Bales, one of the earliest and most influential researchers in the area, the
ideal ratio is 2:1, with task-related behavior dominating.30 This ratio allows the
group to get its work done while taking care of the personal needs and concerns
of the members.
Groups can suffer from at least three role-related problems. The first occurs
when one or more important informal roles (either task or social) go unfilled.
informal role A role usually not
explicitly recognized by a group that
describes functions of group members,
rather than their positions. These are
sometimes called “functional roles.”
task roles Roles group members take
on in order to help solve a problem.
social roles Emotional roles con-
cerned with maintaining smooth
personal relationships among group
members. Also termed “maintenance
functions.”
dysfunctional roles Individual roles
played by group members that inhibit
the group’s effective operation.
TYPICAL BEHAVIORS EXAMPLES
1. Supporter/encourager Praises, agrees with, and accepts the
contributions of others; offers warmth,
solidarity, and recognition.
“I really like that idea, John.” “Priscilla’s suggestion
sounds good to me. Could we discuss it further?”
2. Harmonizer Reconciles disagreements; mediates differences;
reduces tensions by giving group members a
chance to explore their differences.
“I don’t think you two are as far apart as you think.
Henry, are you saying ______? Benson, you seem to be
saying ______. Is that what you mean?”
3. Tension reliever Jokes or in some other way reduces the
formality of the situation; relaxes the group
members.
“Let’s take a break . . . maybe have a drink.” “You’re a
tough cookie, Bob. I’m glad you’re on our side!”
4. Conciliator Offers new options when his or her own ideas
are involved in a conflict; is willing to admit
errors so as to maintain group cohesion.
“Looks like our solution is halfway between you and
me, John. Can we look at the middle ground?”
5. Gatekeeper Keeps communication channels open;
encourages and facilitates interaction from
those members who are usually silent.
“Susan, you haven’t said anything about this yet. I know
you’ve been studying the problem. What do you think
about ______?”
6. Feeling expresser Makes explicit the feelings, moods, and
relationships in the group; shares his or her own
feelings with others.
“I’m really glad we cleared things up today.” “I’m just
about worn out. Could we call it a day and start fresh
tomorrow?”
7. Follower Goes along with the movement of the group
passively, accepting the ideas of others,
sometimes serving as an audience.
“I agree. Yes, I see what you mean. If that’s what the
group wants to do, I’ll go along.”
TABLE 9-2 (Continued)
SOCIAL/MAINTENANCE ROLES
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TYPICAL BEHAVIORS EXAMPLES
1. Blocker Interferes with progress by rejecting ideas or taking
a negative stand on any and all issues; refuses to
cooperate.
“Wait a minute! That’s not right! That idea is absurd.”
“You can talk all day, but my mind is made up.”
2. Aggressor Struggles for status by deflating the status of others;
boasts, criticizes.
“Wow, that’s really swell! You turkeys have botched
things again.” “Your constant bickering is responsible
for this mess. Let me tell you how you ought to do it.”
3. Deserter Withdraws in some way; remains indifferent, aloof,
sometimes formal; daydreams; wanders from the
subject, engages in irrelevant side conversations.
“I suppose that’s right. . . . I really don’t care.”
4. Dominator Interrupts and embarks on long monologues; is
authoritative; tries to monopolize the group’s time.
“Bill, you’re just off base. What we should do is this.
First . . .”
5. Recognition seeker Attempts to gain attention in an exaggerated
manner; usually boasts about past
accomplishments; relates irrelevant personal
experiences, usually in an attempt to gain sympathy.
“That reminds me of a guy I used to know . . .” “Let me
tell you how I handled old Marris . . .”
6. Joker Displays a lack of involvement in the group through
inappropriate humor, horseplay, or cynicism.
“Why try to convince these guys? Let’s just get the
mob to snuff them out.” “Hey, Carla, wanna be my
roommate at the sales conference?”
7. Cynic Discounts chances for the group’s success. “Sure, we could try that idea, but it probably won’t solve
the problem. Nothing we’ve tried so far has worked.”
Source: “Functional Roles of Group Members” and “Dysfunctional Roles of Group Members,” adapted from Wilson, G., & Hanna, M. (1986). Groups in context: Leadership
and participation in decision-making groups, pp. 144–146. Reprinted by permission of McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
Dysfunctional Roles of Group Members
TABLE 9-3
DYSFUNCTIONAL ROLES
For instance, there may be no information giver to provide vital knowledge or no
harmonizer to smooth things over when members disagree.
Secondly, there are other cases in which the problem isn’t an absence of can-
didates to fill certain roles, but rather an overabundance of them. This situation
can lead to unstated competition between members that gets in the way of group
effectiveness. You have probably seen groups in which two people both want to be
the tension-relieving comedian. Sometimes, members become more concerned
with occupying a favorite position than with getting the group’s job done.
Finally, even when there is no competition over roles, a group’s effectiveness
can be threatened when one or more members suffer from “role fixation,” acting
out a specific role whether or not the situation requires it.31 As you learned
in Chapter 1, a key ingredient of communication competence is flexibility—
the ability to choose the right behavior for a given situation. Members who
always take the same role (even a constructive one) lack competence, and they
hinder the group. As in other areas of life, too much of a good thing can be a
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problem. You can overcome the potential role-related problems by following
these guidelines:
• Look for unfilled roles. When a group seems to be experiencing problems, use
the list in Table 9-2 to diagnose what roles might be unfilled.
• Make sure unfilled roles are filled. After you have identified unfilled roles, you
may be able to help the group by filling them yourself. If key facts are miss-
ing, take the role of information seeker and try to dig them out. If nobody
is keeping track of the group’s work, offer to play secretary and take notes.
Even if you are not suited by skill or temperament to a job, you can often
encourage others to fill it.
• Avoid role fixation. Don’t fall into familiar roles if they aren’t needed. You
may be a world-class coordinator or critic, but these talents will only annoy
others if you use them when they aren’t needed. In most cases your natural
inclination to be a supporter might help a group succeed, but if you find
yourself in a group in which the members don’t need or want this sort of
support, your encouragement might become a nuisance.
• Avoid dysfunctional roles. Some of these roles can be personally gratifying, espe-
cially when you are frustrated with a group, but they do nothing to help the
group succeed, and they can damage your reputation as a team player. Nobody
needs a blocker, a joker, or any other of the dysfunctional roles listed in
Table 9-3. Resist the temptation to indulge yourself by taking on any of them.
Two of the main roles people play are leader and follower. As you will see in the
following section, both of them are integral to a team’s success.
Leadership and Communication
It may seem that the best leaders are people brimming with charisma and self-
importance. Actually, successful leaders are not usually like that. When James Col-
lins32 and colleagues analyzed the top-performing companies in the United States,
they found that none of them were led by charismatic leaders. To the contrary, the
leaders they studied were remarkably humble. They were content to let others take
the spotlight and quick to say that they were still learning and growing. The same is
true of civil rights leaders such as Gandhi and Mandela. In this section, we consider
what it takes to be a good leader and explore communication styles and approaches
leaders might adopt to help teams succeed.
Understanding Leadership
The question of what gives rise to an effective leader has occupied philosophers,
rulers, and, more recently, social scientists, for centuries. The lessons learned by
those who came before us can help you become more effective today.
Trait Theories More than 2,000 years ago, Aristotle proclaimed, “From the hour
of their birth some are marked out for subjugation, and others for command.”33
This is a radical expression of trait theories of leadership, which are sometimes
labeled the “great man” or “great woman” approach because they suggest that some
people are born to be leaders and others are not. Social scientists began their stud-
ies of leader effectiveness by conducting literally hundreds of studies that compared
leaders to nonleaders. The results were mixed. As Figure 9-3 shows, a variety of dis-
tinguishing characteristics emerged. However, except for intelligence, these mostly
reflect skills and awareness that people can build, rather than innate qualities with
which they are born. Later research has shown that many other factors are impor-
tant in determining leader success and that not everyone who possesses these traits
becomes a leader. For these reasons, trait theories have limited practical value.
trait theories of leadership A school
of thought based on the belief that
some people are born to be leaders and
others are not.
FREQUENCY
General impression
Ascendance, dominance, decisiveness
Intellectual skills
2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 200
Social and interpersonal skills
Emotional balance and control
Leadership effectiveness and achievement
Administrative skills
Social nearness, friendliness
Technical skills
Task motivation and application
Group task supportiveness
FIGURE 9-3 Some Traits Associated with
Leaders
ASK YOURSELF
What unofficial role
do you usually play?
Does it suit your per-
sonality? What would
happen in the group if
you stopped fulfilling
that role?
?
situational leadership A theory that
argues that the most effective leader-
ship style varies according to leader–
member relations, the nominal leader’s
power, and the task structure.
authoritarian leadership A style in
which the designated leader uses coer-
cive and reward power to dictate the
group’s actions.
democratic leadership A style in
which the leader invites the group’s par-
ticipation in decision making.
laissez-faire leadership A style in
which the designated leader gives up
his or her formal role, transforming
the group into a loose collection of
individuals.
servant leadership A style based on
the idea that a leader’s job is mostly to
recruit outstanding team members and
provide the support they need to do a
good job.
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Situational Approach It’s more likely that Mandela was right when he said, “The
mark of great leaders is the ability to understand the context in which they are
operating and act accordingly.”34 In contrast to trait theories of leadership, the
principle of situational leadership holds that a leader’s style should change with
the circumstances.
Some circumstances are situation specific. As we will discuss in a moment,
inexperienced teams require a different type of leadership than experienced ones
do. And in a larger sense, teams and leaders are influenced by factors such as the
economy and culture surrounding them. After reviewing current literature about
leadership, theorist Montgomery Van Wart proposed that to succeed in today’s
environment, leaders must be
• good listeners,
• open to innovation,
• able to work well with teams,
• good at facilitating change,
• appreciative of diversity, and
• honest and ethical.35
As you might have noticed, the first qualities are accomplished by communicating
effectively, and the last two are conveyed through communication. This list reflects
overwhelming evidence that change happens too quickly in today’s environment
for leaders to make most of the decisions themselves. They are more effective when
they minimize status differences and encourage open and respectful collaboration
among all team members, themselves included.36
Leadership Styles Consistent with the idea of leadership as a situational accom-
plishment, early scholars in the field identified three basic approaches. The first, an
authoritarian leadership style, relies on a leader’s position and his or her ability
to offer rewards or punishment. The second approach, a democratic leadership
style, encourages members to share in decision making. The third approach, a
laissez-faire leadership style, reflects a leader’s willingness to allow team mem-
bers to function independently and to make decisions on their own. Some theo-
rists now add a fourth style—servant leadership, based on the idea that a leader’s
job is mostly to recruit outstanding team members and provide the support they
need to do a good job.37 Unlike laissez-faire leaders, who tend to have a hands-
off approach, servant leaders are often highly involved with team members and
processes.
Each of these styles is effective in some situations. As you might expect, morale
tends to be higher in teams with servant leaders than in those with authoritar-
ian leaders.38 However, an authoritarian approach can sometimes produce faster
results. Satisfaction is typically high in teams led by democratic leaders, but inclu-
sive decision making can be time consuming.39 Highly experienced teams may
appreciate the hands-off approach of a laissez-faire leader, but for many teams, the
ambiguity involved creates added stress.40 A Gallup survey of millions of Ameri-
can workers revealed that nearly half of them don’t have a clear sense of what their
bosses expect of them.41 Servant leadership has been shown to enhance team
members’ satisfaction and lead them to feel more self-confident and optimistic.42
Although leaders tend to have one or two main styles, they may exhibit a mix,
depending on the situation. The next section describes leadership approaches that
may involve aspects of all these styles.
Dimensions of Leadership When Forbes writer Travis Bradberry asked people to
describe the best and worst bosses they had ever had, he was surprised by what
qualities did not make the list. “People inevitably ignore innate characteristics
(intelligence, extraversion, attractiveness, and so on),” he says. Instead, people
Jack Ma, executive director of the
multibillion-dollar international online
marketing firm Alibaba, achieved success
by recruiting great team members and
coaching them to be collaborative, have
fun, and let their imaginations guide
them.
Have you ever worked with a leader who
acted more like a coach than a command-
and-control authority figure? If so, how
did that influence you as a team member?
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focused on “qualities that are completely under the boss’s control, such as passion,
insight and honesty.”43 In this section, we consider various leadership approaches.
As you read, consider which of these best describes you and what qualities you
would like to cultivate more as a leader.
Balancing Task and Relational Goals: The Leadership Grid As you read ear-
lier, teamwork involves the dual goals of accomplishing a task and maintain-
ing relationships. Robert R. Blake and Jane S. Mouton developed a now-famous
Leadership Grid (Figure 9-4) to explain how leaders manage this balance.44 The
horizontal axis measures a leader’s concern for production. This involves a focus
on accomplishing the organizational task, with efficiency being the main con-
cern. The vertical axis measures a leader’s concern for people’s feelings and ideas.
Here is an explanation of the five main types of leadership depicted on the grid,
roughly in order from least to most effective.
Impoverished Management Managers who don’t display interest in either tasks
or relationships exhibit an “impoverished” style. If you have worked with a leader
who overlooked poor performance and seemed oblivious to team members’ needs,
you know how frustrating it can be.
There are a number of reasons leaders may take this approach. Leaders who
lack confidence and assertive communication skills may come off as disinterested
and aloof. Another cause is burnout. Once-concerned leaders who feel depleted or
discouraged may largely give up. Third, some leaders are so concerned with look-
ing good personally that they try do nearly everything themselves.45 This gives the
FIGURE 9-4 The Leadership Grid
1,9
Country Club Management
Thoughtful attention to the needs of
people for satisfying relationships
leads to a comfortable, friendly
organization atmosphere and
work tempo.
9,9
Team Management
Work accomplishment is from
committed people; interdependence
through a “common stake” in
organization purpose leads to
relationships of trust and respect.
Middle-of-the-Road Management
5,5
Adequate organization performance
is possible through balancing the
necessity to be productive with
maintaining morale of people
at a satisfactory level.
Authority Obedience
Efficiency in operations results
from arranging conditions of
work in such a way that human
elements interfere to a minimum
degree. 9,1
Impoverished Management
Exertion of minimum effort to
get required work done is
appropriate to sustain
organization membership.
1,1
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Low
Low
High
High
Concern for Production
C
on
ce
rn
fo
r
P
eo
p
le
Leadership Grid A two-dimensional
model that identifies leadership styles as
a combination of concern for people and
for the task at hand.
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@WORK
“I’ll Do It Myself”—Or Should I?
It’s a rookie mistake some leaders never outgrow—the
tendency to tackle a job instead of delegating. The reasons
for doing it yourself seem appealing:
1. It’s faster to do it myself.
2. Someone else might mess it up.
3. I don’t want to ask others to do an unpleasant chore.
4. Other people are busy.
5. No one else knows how to do this.
6. It would take too long to train someone.
7. I like doing this task.
8. I wouldn’t ask the team to do something I’m not willing
to do myself.
9. If I’m not completing specific tasks, I might seem
unnecessary.
The reasons to delegate aren’t as numerous, but they are
powerful:
1. As a leader, your most important job is to build high-
performance, high-capacity teams,50 and that doesn’t happen
when you do everything yourself.
2. Trying to do everything yourself slows down the process.
3. Leaders involved in tasks aren’t available to lead.
4. Most team members, when asked, say they would gladly
perform tasks on the boss’s to-do list, if only he or she would
listen to them more.
5. Leaders who try to do everything become tired, discouraged,
and burned out.
The next time you’re tempted to tackle the whole job
yourself, ask whether delegating may be better for the
team, yourself, and the task at hand.
impression that they don’t care much about the team or how it functions. In turn,
team members tend to feel resentful and unappreciated, a negative spiral that
usually gets worse. Before you write off this approach as something you would
never do, consider that inexperienced leaders often behave this way because they
haven’t learned to trust team members and they are eager to prove themselves to
their bosses. To avoid the pitfalls of trying to do everything yourself, see the “@
Work” box on delegation on this page.
It’s easy to see that that impoverished leadership isn’t ideal. Some people equate it
with laissez-faire leadership. Indeed, some laissez-faire leaders truly don’t care about
task fulfillment or relationships. However, other laissez-faire leaders care a great deal
about both, but they take a hands-off approach for another reason, such as that they
trust the team, or they want them to develop confidence and independence. If that
is their motivation, it’s important that teams know it. Impoverished leaders take
heed: Even when leaders take a hands-off approach, teams perform best when they
perceive that leaders are invested in them personally and in their success.46
Country Club Management So-called country club managers exhibit high regard for
relationships but give little or no attention to task fulfillment. This style can be effec-
tive if team members are highly motivated, experienced, and willing to take responsi-
bility.47 However, in many cases, country club management fosters an unproductive
environment, as you know if you have been part of a project team in which meetings
feel like social hours during which little or no actual work gets done.
Country club leaders’ primary goal is to keep members happy and maintain
harmony. They tend to smile a lot, listen, and offer lots of praise and encourage-
ment. However, they may let misbehavior slide because they dread confronta-
tions, and they typically have a hard time making difficult decisions. In many
cases, people led by country club leaders like them personally but feel frustrated
because their teams stagnate and underperform.48
Authority Obedience At the other extreme are managers who focus almost entirely
on tasks and very little on relationships. This can be useful in small doses, as in
emergencies and when inexperienced team members need task-related direction.49
transformational leaders Defined by their devo-
tion to help a team fulfill an important mission.
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The dark side of this approach is that authoritarian leaders often
issue commands and quotas rather than investing in people. Leader-
ship coach Bob Weinstein describes two types of bosses in this cate-
gory.51 “The first is the hard-nosed, tough, demanding perfectionist,”
he says. These bosses can be infuriating, but they are usually open
to ideas because they truly care about results. The second type are
“unyielding control freaks” who want to micromanage purely for the
sense of being in control. Don’t leap to conclusions about your boss,
or how you should respond, before you read the checklist on this page
for tips on managing difficult bosses.
Middle-of-the-Road Management In the center of Blake and Mou-
ton’s grid is an approach characterized by moderate interest in both
tasks and relationships. If you have worked with a leader you consider
not horrible or great, but simply “okay,” you have probably experi-
enced this approach firsthand.
Team Management Team managers exhibit high regard for both
tasks and relationships. Blake and Mouton suggested that this is the
most effective leadership approach. It has a great deal in common with
the highly revered model of transformational leadership, which we dis-
cuss next.
Transformational Leadership Transformational leaders respect the
power of teamwork and positive morale, but they avoid the pitfalls of
striving for harmony at all costs. That’s because their primary moti-
vation isn’t personal glory and it isn’t harmony. It’s something larger
than either of these. Transformational leaders are defined by their
devotion to help a team fulfill an important mission.52
Transformational leadership is based on the conviction that
people want to accomplish goals with lasting value. Such leaders
know that success begins with recruiting great people and supporting
them. It also involves a dual focus on relationships and tasks. Trans-
formational leaders listen to team members, authentically care about
their feelings, and honor their contributions. They also expect 100%
effort from everyone on the team, because otherwise teams cannot
live up to their full potential.
Transformational leaders empower teams to make decisions for
themselves as much as possible. But when a tough decision by the
leader is needed, they aren’t afraid to make it.53 In those circumstances,
transformational leaders typically listen to people first, weigh all the
factors, and when they announce a decision they explain why they
made it.54 The motto of transactional leaders could be, “It’s about the
team and what we accomplish. It’s not about me.”
Nelson Mandela exhibited the qualities of a transformational leader.
For one, he was deeply committed to a noble vision. He willingly risked
his life to advocate for a free and democratic South Africa. He was so
committed to that ideal that, even after decades of atrocities against
black South Africans and being imprisoned for his beliefs, Mandela did
not call for revenge. Instead, his goal was even more transformational—
forgiveness and harmony. He reflected in his autobiography that “to be
free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in way that respects
and enhances the freedom of others.”55 Second, Mandela believed in
empowering and supporting others. The style of “leading from behind”
that he learned as a boy stayed with him always. Third, despite Mande-
la’s extraordinary achievements, he exhibited humility and gave credit
Melinda and Bill Gates are transformational
leaders. They empower followers to
achieve an inspiring and impactful goal—
improving the lives of people in poverty.
Have you ever worked with a leader
whose goal was to help make an
important difference in the world? How
did their messages motivate others?
CHECKLIST
Working with a Difficult
Boss
Following are some tips from the pros on keep-
ing a cool head when your boss behaves badly.
Rise to the challenge. Meeting your boss’s
expectations can make your life easier. If
your boss is a micromanager, invite her or
his input. If your boss is a stickler for detail,
invest extra effort into providing more infor-
mation than you would otherwise do.
Make up for the boss’s shortcomings. If
she’s forgetful, diplomatically remind her of
important details. If he’s disorganized, provide
the necessary information before he even asks.
emergent leader A member who assumes leader-
ship roles without being appointed by higher-ups.
Seek advice. Gratuitous complaining about
your boss is a bad idea. Instead, if other
people in your organization have encoun-
tered the same problems, you might discover
useful information by seeking their advice.
Have a heart-to-heart with your boss. If
your best efforts don’t solve the problem,
consider requesting a meeting to discuss the
situation. Rather than blaming, use “I” lan-
guage, such as “I’m feel confused when two
managers give me different instructions.”
Solicit your boss’s point of view, and listen
nondefensively to what he or she has to say.
Paraphrase and use perception checking as
necessary to clarify your understanding. As
much as possible, seek a win–win outcome.
Adjust your expectations. You may not be
able to change your boss’s behavior, but you
can control your attitude about the situation.
Sometimes you may need to accept that there
are things over which you have little control.
Maintain a professional demeanor. Even
if your boss has awful interpersonal skills,
you will gain nothing by sinking to the same
level. It’s best to take the high road, practic-
ing the professional communication skills
described elsewhere in this chapter.
If necessary, make a gracious exit. If
you can’t fix an intolerable situation, the
smartest option may be to look for more
rewarding employment. Graciously and
diplomatically deliver the news to your boss
(e.g., you may be seeking “new opportuni-
ties for growth”), and state your appreciation
for what you have learned on the job. Help
during the transition, and resist the urge to
badmouth your boss or the company. Leave
on the most positive note you can. 59
CHECKLIST Continued
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to others. Mandela ultimately served nearly three decades as a political
prisoner. Upon his release from prison, he told a crowd of supporters:
I stand here before you not as a prophet but as a humble servant
of you, the people. Your tireless and heroic sacrifices have made it
possible for me to be here today. I therefore place the remaining
years of my life in your hands.56
In 1990, white South African president F. W. de Klerk released Mandela
from prison, the two worked together to help the nation heal from
more than 50 years of bloodshed, cruelty, and injustice. They were
jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993. The following year,
Mandela was elected as the first black president of South Africa. He
won hundreds of leadership awards and has been lauded as one of the
greatest leaders in history.
Becoming a Leader
Even in groups that begin with no official leader, members can take on
that role. Emergent leaders gain influence without being appointed
by higher-ups. Juries elect forepersons, and committees elect chairper-
sons. Teams choose a captain. Negotiating groups elect spokespeople.
The subject of leadership emergence has been studied extensively.
Emergent leaders don’t always have official titles. A group of
unhappy employees might urge one person to approach the boss
and ask for a change. A team of students working on a class project
might agree that one person is best suited to take the lead in organiz-
ing and presenting their work. Whether or not the role comes with
a title, emergent leaders can gain influence in a variety of ways.57
Communication researchers have learned that emergent lead-
ers gain influence, especially in newly formed groups, through a
process of elimination in which potential candidates are gradually
rejected for one reason or another until only one remains.58 This
process occurs in two phases. In the first, members who are clearly
unsuitable are rejected. Along with obvious incompetence, lack of
involvement and dogmatism are causes for early disqualification.
Once clearly unsuitable members have been eliminated, roughly
half of the group’s members may still be candidates for leadership.
During this phase, the following kinds of behavior boost the odds
of emerging as the formal or informal leader:
• Frequent participation. Talking won’t guarantee that you will be
recognized as a leader, but failing to speak up will almost cer-
tainly knock you out of the running.
• Demonstrated competence. Make sure your comments identify
you as someone who can help the team succeed. Demonstrate
the kinds of power described later in this chapter.
• Assertion, not aggression. It’s fine to be assertive, but don’t try to
overpower other members. Even if you are right, your dogma-
tism is likely to alienate others.
• Support of other members. The endorsement of other members
(some researchers have called them “lieutenants”) increases
your credibility and influence.
• Provide a solution in a time of crisis. How can the team get the
necessary resources? Resolve a disagreement? Meet a dead-
line? Members who find answers to problems like these are
likely to rise to a position of authority.
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Your Leadership Approach
Check the item in each grouping below that best characterizes your beliefs as a leader.
1. I believe a leader’s most important job is to:_ a. Make sure people stay focused on the task at hand._ b. Help team members build strong relationships._ c. Make sure the workplace is an enjoyable environment.
2. When it comes to team members, I believe:_ a. People have a natural inclination to work hard and do
good work._ b. People work best when there are clear expectations
and oversight._ c. People are most productive when they are happy and
enjoying themselves.
3. When a problem arises, I am mostly likely to:_ a. Solve it myself or smooth things over._ b. Ask team members’ input on how to solve it._ c. Implement a new policy or procedure to avoid the
same problem in the future.
4. If team members had to describe me in a few words, I would
like them to be:_ a. Competent and in control._ b. Pleasant and friendly._ c. Attentive and trustworthy.
5. When I see team members talking and laughing in the hallway,
I am most likely to:_ a. Feel frustrated that they are goofing off._ b. Share my latest joke with them._ c. Feel encouraged that they get along so well.
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
EVALUATING YOUR RESPONSES
Circle your answers on the grid below. Note that they do not appear in alphabetical order.
GROUPING 1 GROUPING 2 GROUPING 3 GROUPING 4 GROUPING 5
b a b c c
a b c a a
c c a b b
Relationship Orientation
If the majority of your answers
appear in the yellow row, you are a
relationship-oriented leader (upper
half in the Blake and Mouton Leader-
ship Grid; see Figure 9-4). You are
likely to show team members a great
deal of respect and attention, which
often brings out the best in people.
Most people consider this to be the
ideal leadership style as long as your
focus on relationships does not mean
that you neglect task concerns.
Task Orientation
If your answers appear mostly in the
green row, you are a task-oriented
leader (lower half of the Leadership
Grid). You tend to emphasize produc-
tivity and may be frustrated by inef-
ficiency. The danger is that you will
overlook relationships in your zeal to
get the job done, which can be coun-
terproductive in the long run.
Country Club Orientation
If most of your answers are in the
blue row, you most closely resemble a
country club leader (upper left in the
Leadership Grid). Your focus on strong
relationships and a pleasant work
environment is likely to be appreci-
ated by team members. However, you
have a tendency to take that too far.
A more moderate focus, in which you
emphasize both relationships and
tasks, may ultimately be more reward-
ing for everyone involved.
Mixed Orientation
If your answers are mostly spread
all over the grid, you don’t show a
clear priority for either relationship
or task goals. Perhaps you focus on
both of them equally (as either a
team or middle-of-the-road leader),
or you may neglect both of them (an
impoverished leader). It’s important
to consider that both relationships
and tasks are highly important. If
you pour your energy into both, pat
yourself on the back. If you neglect
one or both, reconsider your leader-
ship approach.
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Followership and Communication
“What are you, a leader or a follower?” we’re asked, and we know which position is
generally considered the better one. One reason is a fundamental misunderstand-
ing about what it means to be a follower.
Despite the common belief that leaders are the most important group mem-
bers, good followers are indispensable. Completing the self-assessment on the
next page will help you appreciate why and will also help you gain a sense of the
role you can play as a follower.
The self-assessment makes it clear that good followers aren’t sheep who blindly
follow the herd. According to management consultant Robert Kelley, effective fol-
lowers “think for themselves, are very active, and have very positive energy.”60 He
points out that many leaders have a special term for followers such as these. They
call them “my right-hand person” or my “go-to person.”
Successful executives agree. In a study of more than 300 senior-level leaders,
94% said that followers help shape leaders, not just the other way around.61 In their
view, effective followers and leaders share many of the same qualities, including
honesty, competence, intelligence, and character. The executives also appreciated
followers who were loyal, dependable, and cooperative. But they didn’t define
those qualities in terms of blind obedience. Indeed, almost all of the executives
disagreed with the statement that good followers “simply do what they are told.”
Overall, the lesson seems to be that followership involves a sophisticated array of
skills, a good measure of self-confidence, and a strong commitment to teamwork.
As an illustration of this, many people consider that Nelson Mandela’s ability
to empower followers is his most important quality as a leader. This was demon-
strated most dramatically when he was in prison, where he was only allowed one
30-minute visit a year.62 The civil rights movement might have withered without
Mandela, but it didn’t. (As a more ordinary test of leadership, consider how well a
workplace functions when the boss is away on vacation.) Even in Mandela’s absence,
people continued to be inspired by his wisdom and vision.
Types of Followers
All followers don’t communicate or contribute equally. Barbara Kellerman, a theo-
rist who writes about both leaders and followers, proposes that followers fall into
five categories.63 Which one best describes you?
Isolates Isolates are indifferent to the overall goals of the organization and com-
municate very little with people outside their immediate environment.
Bystanders Bystanders are aware of what’s going on around them, but they tend
to hang back and watch rather than play an active role. You may find yourself in a
bystander role occasionally, especially when you are in a new situation. Because
bystanders are usually not as emotionally involved as others, they can some-
times provide an objective, fresh perspective if you encourage them to share their
thoughts.
Participants Participants attempt to have an impact. Some participants support
leaders’ efforts, whereas others work in opposition. (Opposition isn’t necessarily a
bad quality in followers. Good followers should object when leaders are unethical
or ineffective.)
Activists Activists are more energetically and passionately engaged than par-
ticipants. They, too, may act either in accordance with, or in opposition to, lead-
ers’ efforts. Their commitment is a plus in many ways. At the same time, activists
sometimes have difficulty compromising and getting along with others.
ASK YOURSELF
Think about the last
time you took on a
new leadership role.
Which of the factors
described here played
a role in that process?
?
power The ability to influence others’
thoughts and/or actions.
legitimate power The ability to influ-
ence a group owing to one’s position in
a group.
nominal leader The person who
is identified by title as the leader of a
group.
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S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
How Good a Follower Are You?
Check all of the following
that apply to you in your
role as a follower.
_ I think for myself._ I go above and beyond job requirements._ I am supportive of others._ I am goal oriented._ I focus on the end goal and help others stay focused as well._ I take the initiative to make improvements._ I realize that my ideas and experiences are essential to the success of the group._ I take the initiative to manage my time._ I frequently reflect on the job I am doing and how I can improve._ I keep learning._ I am a champion for new ideas.
If the majority of these statements describe you, pat yourself on the back. These are the qualities
of an outstanding follower, according to Robert Kelley, author of The Power of Followership.64
ASK YOURSELF
Think of a group you
have been part of.
What type of leader or
follower are or were
you? What types of
power did you use
most effectively?
? Diehards Diehards will, sometimes literally, sacrifice themselves for the cause.
“Being a Diehard is all consuming. It is who you are. It determines what you
do,” Kellerman says.65 Soldiers are a classic example, as are people who protest
against oppressive rulers or fight for civil rights. Diehards may also work tirelessly
in nonprofits or other organizations if they believe the services they provide are
essential. Their commitment is unrivaled, but sometimes it’s difficult to contain
their enthusiasm, even when it runs counter to other peoples’ goals.
The Power of Followers
How influential and important are followers? The answer is “More than you might have
imagined.” To understand why, it’s important to understand the nature of power.
Simply put, power is the ability to influence others. A few examples show that
influence isn’t just the domain of leaders:66
• In a tense meeting, apartment dwellers are arguing about overcrowded park-
ing and late-night noise. One tenant cracks a joke and lightens up the tense
atmosphere.
• A project team at work is trying to come up with a new way to attract cus-
tomers. The youngest member, fresh from a college advertising class, sug-
gests a winning idea.
• Workers are upset after the boss passes over a popular colleague and hires a
newcomer for a management position. Despite their anger, they accept the
decision after the colleague persuades them that she is not interested in a
career move anyhow.
These examples suggest that power comes in a variety of forms. (See Table 9-4 for
a summary.) The most obvious is legitimate power (sometimes called “position
power”)—influence that arises from the title one holds. Jobs like “supervisor,” “profes-
sor,” and “coach” all come with position power. Social scientists use the term nominal
leader to label the person who is officially designated as being in charge of a group.
expert power The ability to influ-
ence others by virtue of one’s perceived
expertise on the subject in question.
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Expert Power Expert power comes from what team members know or can
do. If you’re lost in the woods, it makes sense to follow the advice of a group
member who has wilderness experience. If your computer crashes at a critical
time, you turn to the team member with IT expertise. In groups it isn’t sufficient
to be an expert; the other members have to view you as one, too. This means it
Power isn’t the only goal to seek in a group. Sometimes being a follower is a comfortable and legitimate role to play. But when you do seek
power, the following methods outline specific ways to shape the way others behave and the decisions they make.
LEGITIMATE AUTHORITY
1. Become an authority figure. If possible, get yourself appointed or elected to a position of leadership. Do so by following steps 2–5.
2. Speak up without dominating others. Power comes from visibility, but don’t antagonize others by shutting them out.
3. Demonstrate competence on the subject. Enhance legitimate authority by demonstrating information and expertise power.
4. Follow group norms. Show that you respect the group’s customs.
5. Gain the support of other members. Don’t try to carve out authority on your own. Gain the visible support of other influential members.
INFORMATION POWER
1. Provide useful but scarce or restricted information. Show others that you possess information that isn’t available elsewhere.
2. Be certain the information is accurate. One piece of mistaken information can waste the group’s time, lead to bad decisions, and
destroy your credibility. Check your facts before speaking up.
EXPERT POWER
1. Make sure members are aware of your qualifications. Let others know that you have expertise in the area being discussed.
2. Don’t act superior. You will squander your authority if you imply that your expertise makes you superior to others. Use your knowledge
for the good of the group, not ego building.
REWARD AND COERCIVE POWER
1. Try to use rewards as a first resort and punishment as a last resort. People respond better to pleasant consequences than unpleasant
ones, so take a positive approach first.
2. Make rewards and punishments clear in advance. Let people know your expectations and their consequences. Don’t surprise them.
3. Be generous with praise. Let others know that you recognize their desirable behavior.
REFERENT POWER
1. Enhance your attractiveness to group members. Do whatever you can to gain the liking and respect of other members without
compromising your principles.
2. Learn effective presentation skills. Present your ideas clearly and effectively in order to boost your credibility.
Source: Adapted from Rothwell, J. D. (1998). In mixed company: Small group communication (3rd ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace, pp. 252–272. Reprinted with
permission of Wadsworth, an imprint of the Wadsworth Group, a division of Thomson Learning. Fax 800-730-2215.
Methods for Acquiring Power in Small Groups
TABLE 9-4
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is important to make your qualifications known if you want others to give your
opinions weight.
Connection Power As its name implies, connection power comes from a
member’s ability to develop relationships that help the group reach its goal. For
instance, a fundraising group seeking donations from local businesses might
profit from the knowledge that one member has about which merchants are hos-
pitable to the group’s cause, and a team seeking guest speakers at a seminar might
rely on a well-connected member to line up candidates.
Reward Power Reward power exists when others are influenced by the granting
or promise of desirable consequences. Rewards come in a variety of forms. Rewards
don’t come only from the official leader of a group. The goodwill of other mem-
bers can sometimes be even more valuable. In a class group, for example, having
your fellow students think highly of you might be a more powerful reward than
the grade you could receive from the instructor. In fact, subordinates sometimes
can reward nominal leaders just as much as the other way around. A boss might
work hard to accommodate employees in order to keep them happy, for example.
Coercive Power Coercive power comes from the threat or actual imposition
of unpleasant consequences. Nominal leaders certainly can coerce members via
compensation, assignments, and even termination from the group. But members
also possess coercive power. Working with an unhappy, unmotivated teammate
can be punishing. For this reason, it’s important to keep members feeling satis-
fied . . . as long as you don’t compromise the team’s goals.
Referent Power Referent power comes from the respect, liking, and trust
others have for a member. If you have high referent power, you may be able to
persuade others to follow your lead because they believe in you or because they
are willing to do you a favor. Members acquire referent power by behaving in ways
others in the group admire and by being genuinely likable. The kinds of confirm-
ing communication behaviors described in Chapter 8 can go a long way toward
boosting referent power. Listening to others’ ideas, honoring their contributions,
and taking a win–win approach to meeting their needs lead to liking and respect.
After our look at various ways members can influence one another, three
important characteristics of power in groups become clearer.67
• Power is group centered. Power isn’t something an individual possesses.
Instead, it is conferred by the group. You may be an expert on the subject
being considered, but if the other members don’t think you are qualified to
talk, you won’t have expert power. You might try to reward other people by
praising their contributions, but if they don’t value your compliments, then
all the praise in the world won’t influence them.
• Power is distributed among group members. Power rarely belongs to
just one person. Even when a group has an official leader, other members
usually have the power to affect what happens. This influence can be posi-
tive, coming from information, expertise, or social reinforcement. It can
also be negative, coming from punishing behaviors such as criticizing or
withholding the contributions that the group needs to succeed. You can
appreciate how power is distributed among members by considering the
effect just one member can have by not showing up for meetings or failing
to carry out his or her part of the job.
• Power isn’t an either–or concept. It’s incorrect to assume that power
is something that members either possess or lack. Rather, it is a matter of
degree. Instead of talking about someone as “powerful” or “powerless,” it’s
more accurate to talk about how much influence he or she exerts.
connection power The influence
granted by virtue of a member’s ability
to develop relationships that help the
group reach its goal.
reward power The ability to influence
others by the granting or promising of
desirable consequences.
coercive power The power to influ-
ence others by the threat or imposition
of unpleasant consequences.
referent power The ability to influ-
ence others by virtue of the degree to
which one is liked or respected.
267
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CHAPTER 9 Review
It’s fitting that we end the chapter where we began, with Nelson Mandela.
Like all good followers, Mandela didn’t simply do whatever leaders told him to
do. He stood his ground when he believed their policies were unjust. Like all
good leaders, he understood that true power lies in uniting and empowering
people.
Mandela died in 2013 at age 95. As one biographer puts it, “Mandela brought
together bitter enemies and unified a nation.”68 Reflecting on his remarkable jour-
ney, Mandela told an interviewer:
Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be
his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made
that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity.69
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Identify the characteristics that distin-
guish groups and teams from other collections of people.
• Group work involves interaction and interdependence
over time among a small number of participants with the
purpose of achieving one or more goals.
• Some groups achieve the status of teams, which embody
a high level of shared goals and identity, commitment to
a common cause, and high ideals.
• The status of “team” may be challenging to achieve, espe-
cially when group members are separated geographi-
cally, but even virtual teams can excel if they focus on
developing strong relationships with one another.
> Name at least three similarities and three differences
between groups and teams.
> Describe the best and worst groups you have ever
been part of, and then describe how communication
differed in those groups.
> Imagine you have to lead a new committee respon-
sible for redesigning your school’s grading policy.
What will you do to help ensure that the committee
functions to its highest potential?
OBJECTIVE Distinguish between group and indi-
vidual goals.
• Groups have their own goals, as do individual members.
• Individual goals that are not known to the group are
called hidden agendas.
9.1
9.2
• Social loafing is a common frustration in group work,
but there are ways to help ensure that all group members
feel accountable.
> Describe at least six ways that group members can
guard against social loafing.
> Think of a group you belong to, then make three
lists: (1) your individual goals as a group member, (2)
the individual goals of another group member, and
(3) the group goals. How do the three lists compare?
Are any of the individual goals you listed at odds
with the team goals? If so, how?
> Think of a time you were tempted to do less than
your share as a member of a group. What factors
made that choice appealing? What factors motivated
(or might have motivated) you do as much as every-
one else?
OBJECTIVE Explain how groups are affected by
rules, norms, roles, and patterns of interaction.
• All groups share the following characteristics: the exis-
tence of group norms, individual roles for members, and
patterns of interaction that are shaped by the group’s
structure.
• Members’ goals fall into two main categories: task related
and social.
• Norms suggest how members should interact with one
another, how the group will do business, and who will
carry out particular tasks.
• Communication networks reflect who usually communi-
cates with whom and who governs the flow of informa-
tion among group members.
• Group members play task roles (such as coordinator and
diagnostician) and social roles (such as harmonizer and
tension reliever).
9.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 9 Communicating in Groups and Teams268
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• Other followers take an active role—sometimes to the
extent of putting their lives on the line for a cause.
• Followers embody many forms of power. They may be
respected as experts, or good relationship builders, or
able to reward or coerce others.
> Choose three of the follower types described by Bar-
bara Kellerman (pp. 263–264). For each one, describe
an episode in your life when you embodied that
approach. Which did you find most rewarding, and
why?
> Organize the five types of power described in this
chapter (pp. 264–266) in order of their importance to
you. Give a #1 ranking to the type of power you most
want to achieve and a #5 to the type you least want to
achieve. Explain why you have rank-ordered them as
you have.
> Why do you think followership often gets less atten-
tion than leadership? Present an argument giving
three compelling reasons for paying more attention
to the roles that followers play.
KEY TERMS
all-channel network p. 252
authoritarian leadership style p. 257
chain network p. 252
coercive power p. 266
connection power p. 266
democratic leadership style p. 257
dysfunctional roles p. 254
emergent leader p. 261
expert power p. 265
formal role p. 252
gatekeepers p. 252
group p. 246
group goals p. 249
hidden agendas p. 249
individual goals p. 249
informal role p. 254
laissez-faire leadership style p. 257
Leadership Grid p. 259
legitimate power p. 264
nominal leader p. 264
norms p. 250
power p. 264
procedural norms p. 250
referent power p. 266
reward power p. 266
roles p. 252
rule p. 250
• Some roles are helpful to the group, whereas others (such
as dominator and deserter) can damage performance
and member relationships.
> List the three types of group norms, and give an
example of each.
> Which roles do you most commonly play in groups
you belong to? Are these roles mostly conducive or
harmful to group performance?
> Create a sociogram (graphic representation of pat-
terns) to illustrate communication in a group you
know well. Does it mostly reflect an all-channel,
chain, or network configuration? What are the impli-
cations of who communicates with whom most
often?
OBJECTIVE Compare and contrast different lead-
ership styles and approaches.
• Most research suggests that people can learn the skills
that contribute to effective leadership.
• No one leadership approach works well in all circum-
stances. Instead, leaders who understand the relative
strengths of various styles are most likely to succeed.
• For the most part, leaders who focus on the overall mis-
sion, relationships, and task fulfillment accomplish more
than those who are motivated by the desire to achieve
personal glory or maintain harmony at all costs.
• Leaders often emerge through a process of elimination,
which suggests that, whether or not we know it, we begin
“auditioning” for leadership roles as soon as we join a
group.
> Compare the priorities of the five leadership
approaches included in Blake and Mouton’s Leader-
ship Grid (p. 258).
> Think of leaders (people you know or public figures)
who embody each of the following leadership styles:
autocratic, democratic, laissez-faire, and servant lead-
ership. In your opinion, which of these leaders has
been most effective, and why?
> Transformational leaders help people make a signifi-
cant and valuable contribution in business, science,
civil rights, or another arena. Describe a goal that
is important to you, and explain how you might
embody the qualities of a transformational leader to
help people achieve it.
OBJECTIVE Evaluate the roles that followers play
and the sources of their power.
• People often overlook the powerful roles that followers
play in shaping innovations, challenging leaders, and
pursuing important goals.
• Some followers tend to hang back, either because they
are indifferent or because they prefer to watch and learn.
9.4
9.5
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CHAPTER 9 Review
c. Are your personal goals compatible or incompatible
with those of other members?
d. Are they compatible or incompatible with the group
goals?
e. What effect does the compatibility or incompatibility
of goals have on the effectiveness of the group?
2. Norms and Rules in Action Describe the desirable norms
and explicit rules you would like to see established in the
following new groups, and describe the steps you could
take to see that they are established.
a. A group of classmates formed to develop and present
a class research project
b. A group of neighbors that is meeting for the first time
to persuade the city to install a stop sign at a danger-
ous intersection
c. A group of 8-year-olds you will be coaching in a team
sport
d. A group of fellow employees who will be sharing new
office space
servant leadership p. 257
situational leadership p. 257
social loafing p. 250
social norms p. 250
social roles p. 254
sociogram p. 251
task norms p. 250
task roles p. 254
trait theories of leadership p. 256
transformational leaders p. 260
virtual groups p. 248
wheel network p. 252
ACTIVITIES
1. Group and Individual Goals Think about two groups to
which you belong.
a. What are your task-related goals in each?
b. What are your social goals?
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Solving Problems in
Groups and Teams
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Problem Solving in Groups: When and Why 273
Advantages of Group Problem Solving
When to Use Groups for Problem Solving
Setting the Stage for Problem Solving 276
Maintain Positive Relationships
Recognize Stages of Team Development
Group Problem-Solving Strategies and Formats 280
Group Discussion Formats
Solving Problems in Virtual Groups
Approaches and Strategies in Problem Solving 284
A Structured Problem-Solving Approach
Decision-Making Methods
Overcoming Dangers in Group Discussion 291
Information Underload and Overload
Unequal Participation
Pressure to Conform
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
10.1
Weigh the pros and cons of using
a group to solve a problem.
10.2
Identify ways that teams can
build strong foundations.
10.3
Compare group discussion
formats (e.g., breakout groups,
focus groups, symposia, reflective
thinking, and dialogue), and
recommend when to use each.
10.4
Describe elements of Dewey’s
group problem-solving model,
and apply communication
strategies to make the most of
each stage.
10.5
Identify common obstacles to
effective group functioning (e.g.,
information under- and overload,
groupthink), and suggest more
effective ways of communicating.
10
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IMAGINE IT’S YOUR FIRST DAY on the job at Automattic, the
billion-dollar web development company that created WordPress
and other online platforms. What should you wear? Where will you
sit? Where is the staff meeting? The answers are: Wear anything you
like. Sit anywhere you like, as long as you have Wi-Fi. Your living room
is fine. So is your deck chair. And the staff meeting? Let’s see, is it in
Athens or Amsterdam this time?
Automattic is a distributed company. Employees work from
different locations—at last count, nearly 400 of them in 60 countries.1
The company provides all the technology they need and $2,000 each
to create their own work environments. Teams work in cyberspace
most of the time, but a generous travel budget allows them to sched-
ule face-to-face meetings several times a year anywhere they like
(Rome, Hawaii, New Zealand, you name it).
The company’s online team approach is the brainchild of Matt
Mullenweg, who launched Automattic at age 19. He quickly realized
that having a diverse, international workforce was ideal, but that
teamwork was essential. Automatticians, as they like to be called,
thrive on the stimulation that comes from combining forces to tackle
problems.
We revisit Automattic throughout the chapter to consider the
communication challenges the company has faced and why its team
approach has been so successful. Along the way, we’ll consider the
advantages and challenges of group problem solving, as well as
communication techniques integral to effective teamwork, both in
person and in mediated environments.
Think about
the importance of teams
in your life.
?
What task-oriented groups
have you belonged to—in
school, in athletics, or at
work?
?
What kinds of
communication distinguished
the effective teams from the
ineffective ones?
?
How would others rate you
as a team player?
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273
Problem Solving in Groups:
When and Why
Perhaps because most people aren’t aware of the problem-solving techniques avail-
able to them, groups sometimes get a bad name. You have probably heard the snide
remark that “a camel is a horse designed by a committee.” This unflattering reputa-
tion is at least partly justified. Most of us would wind up with a handsome sum if
we had a dollar for every hour wasted in problem-solving groups.
On the other hand, teamwork has brought us computers, cars, space travel,
the Internet, and many other innovations. As these examples illustrate, solving
problems, as we define it here, doesn’t refer only to situations in which something
is wrong. Perhaps meeting challenges and performing tasks are better terms. After
you recognize this, you can see that problem solving occupies a major part of life.
Employers rank teamwork skills among the 10 most desired traits of people
they hire.2 Employees give teamwork high priority as well. They typically say that
effective teamwork makes them feel more powerful and empowered than before,
more appreciated, more successful, closer to their colleagues, and more confident
that team members will support and encourage them in the future.3
Away from work, groups also meet to solve problems. Volunteer groups plan
fundraisers, athletic teams work to improve their collective performance, educa-
tors and parents work together to improve schools—the list is almost endless.
All in all, groups do have their shortcomings, which we will discuss in a few
pages. But extensive research has shown that, when these shortcomings can be
avoided, groups are clearly the most effective way to handle many tasks.
Advantages of Group Problem Solving
Years of research show that, in most cases, groups can produce more solutions to
a problem than individuals working alone, and the solutions are of higher quality.
Groups have proved superior at everything from assembling jigsaw puzzles to solv-
ing complex reasoning problems. There are several reasons why groups are effective.4
Resources For many tasks, groups have access to a greater collection of resources
than do most individuals. Sometimes the resources involve physical effort. For
example, three or four people can put up a tent or dig a ditch better than a lone
Superheroes such as the Avengers come
together when civilization is threatened.
Each team member has special skills
necessary to help solve the problem, and
they work together to succeed.
What factors can help you decide when
a problem would be more effectively
addressed by a group rather than by an
individual?
participative decision making
A process in which people contribute to
the decisions that will affect them.
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person. Pooled resources can also lead to qualitatively better solutions. Think,
for instance, about times when you have studied with other students for a test
and you discussed and learned material you might have overlooked if not for the
group. Groups not only have more resources than individuals, but, through inter-
action among the members, they are better able to mobilize them.
Accuracy Another benefit of group work is the increased likelihood of catching
errors. At one time or another, we all make stupid mistakes, like the man who
built a boat in his basement and then wasn’t able to get it out the door. Working in
a group can help prevent foolish errors like this. Sometimes, of course, mistakes
aren’t so obvious, which makes groups even more valuable as an error-checking
mechanism. Another side to the error-detecting story is the risk that group mem-
bers will support one another in a bad idea. We’ll discuss this problem later in this
chapter when we focus on conformity.
Commitment Besides coming up with superior solutions, groups also generate a
higher commitment to carrying them out. Members are most likely to accept solu-
tions they have helped create and to work harder to carry out those solutions. This
fact has led to the principle of participative decision making, in which people
contribute to the decisions that will affect them. This is an especially important
principle for those in authority, such as supervisors, teachers, and parents. As pro-
fessors, we have seen that students cooperate much more willingly when they help
develop a policy for themselves, rather than having it imposed.
Diversity Working with others allows us to consider approaches and solutions
we might not think of otherwise. Although we tend to think in terms of “lone
geniuses” who make discoveries and solve the world’s problems, most break-
throughs are actually the result of collective creativity—people working together
to create options no one would have thought of alone.5
Although diversity is a benefit of teamwork, it requires special effort, espe-
cially when members come from different cultural backgrounds. For example,
in teams that consist of both Asian-born and American-born members, Ameri-
cans do most of the talking and are more likely than their Asian teammates to
interrupt.6 And women may be dismayed to find that members of some cultures,
including their own, tend to dismiss their comments out of gender bias.7 To make
the most of multiculturalism and avoid some of the common pitfalls, see the
“Understanding Diversity” box on page 275.
When to Use Groups for Problem Solving
Despite their advantages, groups aren’t always the best way to solve a problem.
Many jobs can be tackled more quickly, easily, and even more efficiently by one or
more people working independently. The information that follows and the check-
list on page 276 will help you decide when to solve a problem using a group and
when to tackle it alone.8
Is the Job Beyond the Capacity of One Person? Some jobs are simply too big for
one person to manage. They may call for more information than a single person
possesses or can gather. For example, a group of friends planning a large New
Year’s party will probably have a better event if they pool their ideas than if one
person tries to think of everything. Some jobs also require more time and energy
than one person can spare. Putting on the New Year’s party could involve a variety
of tasks: inviting the guests, hiring a band, finding a place large enough to hold
the party, buying food and drinks, and so on. It’s both unrealistic and unfair to
expect one or two people to do all this work.
ASK YOURSELF
Think of a difficult task
that could not have
been accomplished
by a person acting
alone. Then reflect on
the problems you face,
and decide which ones
could be best tackled
by a group.
?
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Are Individuals’ Tasks Interdependent? Remember that a group is more than a
collection of individuals working side by side. The best tasks for groups are ones in
which members can help one another in some way. Think of a group of disgrun-
tled renters considering how to protest unfair landlords. In order to get anywhere,
they realize that they have to assign areas of responsibility to each member, such
as researching the law, getting new members, and publicizing their complaints.
It’s easy to see that these jobs are all interdependent. Getting new members, for
example, will require publicity, and publicizing complaints will involve showing
how the renters’ legal rights are being violated.
Even when everyone is working on the same job, they can be interdependent
if different members fulfill the various functional roles described in Chapter 9.
Some people might be better at task-related roles such as information giving, diag-
nosing, and summarizing. Others might contribute by filling social roles such
as harmonizing, supporting, or relieving tension. People working independently
simply don’t have the breadth of resources to perform all these functions.
Is There More Than One Decision or Solution? Groups are best suited to tackling
problems that have no single, straightforward answer. What’s the best way to boost
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Maximizing the Effectiveness of Multicultural Teams
In an era of increasing diversity and global commerce,
multinational and multicultural teams are more common
than ever. Design, engineering, manufacturing, sales, and
support teams now span the globe. Work groups include
experienced veterans and newcomers with cutting-edge
knowledge. In the process, former power structures are
being transformed.
Evidence shows that multicultural teams are typically more
creative than homogenous groups or individuals.9 But they
also present unique challenges. Communication research-
ers10 offer the following tips to maximize the benefits and
minimize the pitfalls of multicultural teams:
1. Allow more time than usual for group development and
discussions.
2. Agree on clear guidelines for discussions, participation,
and decision making.
3. Use a variety of communication formats.
Based on cultural preferences, people may be more or less
comfortable speaking to the entire group, putting their thoughts
in writing, speaking one on one, and so on.
4. If possible, achieve an even distribution of people from
various cultures.
Research shows that being a “minority member” is especially
challenging and not conducive to open communication.11
5. Educate team members about the cultures
represented.
We are less likely to make unwarranted assumptions (e.g., that a
person is lazy, disinterested, or overbearing) if we understand the
cultural patterns at play.
6. Open your mind to new possibilities.
Assumptions and too-quick solutions short-circuit the advantage
of diverse perspectives.
The results of multicultural teams are usually worth
the effort. As one analyst puts it, “diversity makes us
smarter.”12
CHECKLIST
Is This a Good
Opportunity for
Teamwork?
A team approach has many advantages, but
sometimes a lone effort is equally or more effec-
tive. Which should you use? If you check “yes” to
the following conditions, collaborative problem
solving will probably yield the best results.
Is there more than one decision or solution?
Is it important to consider a range of
perspectives?
Is there the potential for disagreement?
Will a good solution require more resources
(e.g., time, money, supplies) than one person
can provide?
Would it be costly to make an error in judgment?
Is buy-in by multiple people important to
success?
Mixing some social time into group work
can help the team stick together and
maintain positive relationships.
How cohesive are the groups you belong
to? If the level of cohesiveness is not
optimal, how can you increase it?
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membership in a campus organization? How can funds be raised for a
charity? What topic should the group choose for a class project? Gain-
ing the perspectives of every member increases the chances of finding
high-quality answers to questions like these.
By contrast, a problem with only one solution won’t take full
advantage of a group’s talents. For example, phoning merchants to
get price quotes and looking up a series of books in the library don’t
require much creative thinking. Jobs like these can be handled by one
or two people working alone. Of course, it may take a group meeting
to decide how to divide the work to get the job done most efficiently.
Is There Potential for Disagreement? Tackling a problem as a group
is essential if you need the support of everyone involved. Consider
a group of friends planning a vacation. Letting one or two people
choose the destination, schedule, and budget would be asking for
trouble because their decisions would almost certainly disappoint
at least some of the people who weren’t consulted. It would be far
smarter to involve everyone in the most important decisions, even
if doing so took more time. After the key decisions were settled, it
might be fine to delegate relatively minor issues to one or two people.
Setting the Stage for Problem
Solving
Just as a poor blueprint or shaky foundation can lead to a weak house,
all the problem-solving tips in the world won’t mean much if you
don’t have a strong team. Every team has its own context and culture.
But outstanding teams have one thing in common: the need for tal-
ented and committed people to solve problems exceptionally well.
Scott Berkun, a former manager at WordPress, proposes that “if you
can build trust, provide clarity, and hire well, every other obstacle can
be conquered.”13
Take the “How Effective Is Your Team?” quiz on page 277 to assess
the status of your past and present teams. Then read on for guidelines
to build relationships and understand the process teams go through
as they work on a task.
Maintain Positive Relationships
It’s a natural tendency to assume that you understand other members’
positions and to interrupt or ignore them. Even if you are right, however,
this assumption can lead to ill feelings. On the other hand, careful listening
can improve the communication climate, and you may even learn some-
thing from your group mates. Following are some strategies for develop-
ing strong, mutually respectful relationships among team members.
Build Cohesiveness The degree to which members feel connected
with and committed to their group is known as cohesiveness.
You might think of cohesiveness as the glue that bonds individuals
together, giving them a collective sense of identity.
Highly cohesive groups communicate differently than less cohe-
sive ones. Members spend more time interacting, and there are more
expressions of positive feelings for one another. They report more
How Effective Is Your Team?
Think of a team you belong to (or were part of in the past) with the goal of solving a problem or making the most of an
opportunity. Select the number on each row that best describes your response.
Disagree Agree
1. Team members know and like one another. 1 2 3 4 5
2. We tend to shy away from issues about which we don’t
agree.
1 2 3 4 5
3. We enjoy tackling challenging situations together. 1 2 3 4 5
4. We enjoy one another’s company so much that we often
lose focus on what we are trying to achieve.
1 2 3 4 5
5. We trust one another to be responsible and respectful. 1 2 3 4 5
6. Members spend more energy competing with one
another than cooperating.
1 2 3 4 5
7. We encourage everyone on the team to have input. 1 2 3 4 5
8. We tend to spend more time complaining about issues
than solving them.
1 2 3 4 5
9. We approach challenges in a systematic and creative
manner.
1 2 3 4 5
10. Members aren’t highly committed to the group or its
purpose.
1 2 3 4 5
SELF-ASSESSMENT
ANALYZING YOUR RESULTS
Add up the scores you indicated on the
odd-numbered questions. Then reverse
the scores on the even-numbered ques-
tions (5 = 1, 4 = 2, 3 = 3, 2 = 4, 1 = 5)
and add them up. Add both totals
together and see how you did below.
40–50 points
Congratulations! You have created
a team that is cohesive and goal ori-
ented. Although there are likely to be
ups and downs, if you maintain your
focus on great results and effective
teamwork, you are likely to be highly
successful together.
30–39 points
You have potential, but this team isn’t
ready for the big leagues yet. The prob-
lem may be that you haven’t taken the
time to build strong relationships or that
not everyone is inspired by the chal-
lenge before you. Teams who have high
trust and high motivation are typically
eager to focus on the issue, and they
welcome diverse ideas. You’ll find many
tips in this chapter for strengthening
your team’s problem-solving potential.
Less than 30 points
Either your team is very new or
you are stuck in an unproductive
groove. Over time, the less you
accomplish, the less excited and
confident members become, which
means that commitment and cohe-
sion suffer. Consider how you might
turn things around. Perhaps you can
host a dialogue session about the
group process itself. When you better
understand what is holding members
back, you may be able to take posi-
tive steps to build a more cohesive
and productive team. For more about
the factors that enhance productivity,
see Table 10-1.
cohesiveness The totality of forces
that causes members to feel themselves
part of a group and makes them want to
remain in that group.
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satisfaction with the group and its work. In addition, people are more loyal to
highly cohesive teams than to other ones. Cohesion keeps people coming back,
even when the going is tough.
With characteristics like these, it’s no surprise that highly cohesive groups have
the potential to be productive. In fact, group cohesion is one of the strongest pre-
dictors of innovation, along with effective communication and encouragement.14
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Despite its advantages, cohesiveness is no guarantee of success. If the group is
united in supporting unproductive norms, members will feel close but won’t get
the job done. For example, consider a group of employees who have a boss they
think is incompetent and unfair. They might grow quite cohesive in their opposi-
tion to the perceived tyranny, spending hours after (or during) work swapping
complaints. They might even organize protests, work slowdowns, grievances to
their union, or mass resignations. All these responses would boost cohesiveness,
but they may not be productive in the long run.
There is a curvilinear relationship between cohesiveness and productivity. Up
to a certain point, productivity increases as group members become a unified
team. Beyond this point, however, the mutual attraction members feel for one
another begins to interfere with the group’s efficient functioning. Members may
enjoy one another’s company, but this enjoyment can keep them from focusing
on the job at hand. A study group might become less about studying and more
about hanging out as friends.
The goal should be to boost cohesiveness in a way that also helps get the job
done. Eight factors can bring about these goals.
1. Focus on shared or compatible goals. People draw closer when they share
a similar aim or when their goals can be mutually satisfied. For example,
members of a conservation group might have little in common until a part
of the countryside they all value is threatened by development. Some mem-
bers might value the land because of its beauty, others because it provides a
place to hunt or fish, and still others because the nearby scenery increases
the value of their property. As long as their goals are compatible, this collec-
tion of individuals will find that a bond exists that draws them together.
2. Recognize progress toward goals. While a group is making progress,
members feel highly cohesive; when progress stops, cohesiveness decreases.
All else being equal, players on an athletic team feel closest when the team
is winning. During extended losing streaks, it is likely that players will feel
less positive about the team and less willing to identify themselves as mem-
bers of the group.
TABLE 10-1
Communication Factors Associated with Group Productivity
The group contains the smallest number of members necessary to accomplish its goals.
Members care about and agree with the group’s goals.
Members are clear about and accept their roles, which match the abilities of each member.
Group norms encourage high performance, quality, success, and innovation.
The group members have sufficient time together to develop a mature working unit and accomplish its goals.
The group is highly cohesive and cooperative.
The group spends time defining and discussing problems it must solve and decisions it must make.
Periods of conflict are frequent but brief, and the group has effective strategies for dealing with conflict.
The group has an open communication structure in which all members may participate.
Source: Adapted from research summarized in S. A. Wheelan, D. Murphy, E. Tsumaura, & S. F. Kline. (1998). Member perceptions of internal group dynamics and
productivity. Small Group Research, 29, 371–393.
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3. Establish shared norms and values. Although successful
groups will tolerate and even thrive on some differences in
members’ attitudes and behavior, wide variation in the group’s
definition of what actions or beliefs are proper will reduce
cohesiveness. If enough members hold different ideas of what
behavior is acceptable, the group is likely to break up. Disagree-
ments over values or norms can fall into many areas, such as
humor use, finance, degree of candor, and proportion of time
allotted to work and play.
4. Minimize perceived threats between members. Cohesive
group members see no threat to their status, dignity, and mate-
rial or emotional well-being. When such interpersonal threats
do occur, they can be very destructive. Often competition arises
within groups, and as a result members feel threatened. Some-
times there is a struggle over who will be the nominal leader.
At other times, members view others as wanting to take over a
functional role (problem solver, information giver, and so on),
through either competition or criticism. Sometimes the threat
is real, and sometimes it’s only imagined, but in either case the
group must neutralize it or face the consequences of reduced
cohesiveness.
5. Emphasize members’ interdependence. Groups become
cohesive when their needs can be satisfied only with the help
of other members. When a job can be done just as well by one
person alone, the need for membership decreases. This factor
explains the reason for food cooperatives, neighborhood yard
sales, and community political campaigns. All these activities
enable the participants to reach their goal more successfully
than if they acted alone.
6. Recognize threats from outside the group. Don’t create imag-
inary threats if none exist, but recognize those that do. When
members perceive a threat to the group’s existence or image
(groups have self-concepts, just as individuals do), they grow
closer together. Almost everyone knows of a family whose mem-
bers seem to fight constantly among themselves until an outsider
criticizes one of them. At this point, the internal bickering stops,
and for the moment the group unites against its common enemy.
The same principle often works on a larger scale when nations
unite in the face of external aggression.
7. Develop mutual liking and friendship. This factor is some-
what circular, because friendship and mutual affinity often are a
result of the points just listed, yet groups often do become close
simply because the members like one another. Social groups are
a good example of a type of group that stays together because its
members enjoy one another’s company.
8. Share group experiences. When members have been through
an unusual or trying experience, they draw together. This
explains why soldiers who have been in combat together often
feel close and stay in touch for years after. Many effective groups
devote time to team-building activities, retreats, and social events
that involve them in shared experiences before they focus on the
main challenge before them.
CHECKLIST
Dealing with Difficult
Team Members
Every now and then you are likely to run across
a team member who consistently tests your
patience. Perhaps he or she is whiny, bossy,
aloof, aggressive, overly ingratiating, or a know-
it-all. Here are some tips from the experts on
coping effectively.15,16
Keep calm. Some people thrive on goading
others and creating drama. Don’t play their
game.
Look for underlying reasons. Consider
what factors might have led the person to
feel hurt or disrespected.
Surface the issue. You might say, “I noticed
that you have interrupted me several times. Do
you feel that you didn’t get a chance to explain
your position?”
Lay ground rules. Agreeing on specific
expectations (e.g., no yelling, interrupting,
or maintaining side conversations) will make
it easier to identify and address issues.
Write down ideas. People may be difficult
because they don’t feel they are being heard
or respected. Writing down everyone’s
ideas on a board or flipchart captures what
people are saying and prevents a potential
source of team dysfunction.
Make repercussions clear. When you
are coping with a difficult person whose
behavior doesn’t improve, it’s important to
be clear about the consequences. This may
involve sharing the problem with a boss
or instructor, or if you have the authority,
making the repercussions clear yourself.
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These suggestions work well on most teams. For tips on dealing with espe-
cially difficult team members, see page 279.
Recognize Stages of Team Development
When it comes to solving problems in groups, the shortest distance to a solution
isn’t always a straight line. Communication scholar Aubrey Fisher analyzed tape
recordings of problem-solving groups and discovered that many successful groups
follow a four-stage process when arriving at decisions.17 As you read about his find-
ings, visualize how they have applied to problem-solving groups in your experience.
Orientation Stage In the orientation stage, members approach the problem
and one another tentatively. Rather than state their own positions clearly and
unambiguously, they test possible ideas cautiously and rather politely. This cau-
tiousness doesn’t mean that members agree with one another. Rather, they are
assessing the situation before asserting themselves. There is little outward dis-
agreement at this stage, but it can be viewed as a calm before the storm.
Conflict Stage After members understand the problem and become acquainted,
a successful group enters the conflict stage. Members take strong positions and
defend them against those who oppose their viewpoints. Coalitions are likely to
form, and the discussion may become polarized. The conflict needn’t be personal.
It can focus on the issues at hand while preserving the members’ respect for one
another. Even when the climate does grow contentious, conflict seems to be a
necessary stage in group development. The give and take of discussion tests the
quality of ideas, and weaker ones may suffer a well-deserved death here.
Emergence Stage After a period of conflict, effective groups move to an emergence
stage. One idea might emerge as the best one, or the group might combine the best
parts of several plans into a new solution. As they approach consensus, members
back off from their dogmatic positions. Statements become more tentative again:
“I guess that’s a pretty good idea,” “I can see why you think that way.”
Reinforcement Stage Finally, an effective group reaches the reinforcement
stage. At this point not only do members accept the group’s decision, they also
endorse it. Even if members disagree with the outcome, they do not voice their
concerns. There is an unspoken drive toward consensus and harmony.
This isn’t a one-time process. Ongoing groups can expect to move through
these stages with each new issue, such that their interactions take on a cyclic pat-
tern. They begin discussion of a new issue tentatively, then experience conflict,
emergent solutions, and reinforcement. In fact, a group that deals with several
issues at once might find itself in a different stage for each problem.
Knowing that these phases are natural and predictable can be reassuring.
It can help curb your impatience when the group is feeling its way through an
orientation stage. It can also help you feel less threatened when inevitable and
necessary conflicts take place. Understanding the nature of emergence and rein-
forcement can help you know when it is time to stop arguing and seek consensus.
Group Problem-Solving Strategies
and Formats
Groups meet to solve problems in a variety of settings and for a wide range of
reasons. The formats they use are also varied. Some groups meet before an audi-
ence to address a problem. The onlookers may be involved in, and affected by, the
topic under discussion, like the citizens who attend a typical city council meeting or
orientation stage When group members
become familiar with one another’s posi-
tions and tentatively volunteer their own.
conflict stage When group members
openly defend their positions and
question those of others.
emergence stage When a group
moves from conflict toward a single
solution.
reinforcement stage When group
members endorse the decision they
have made.
ASK YOURSELF
What factors influence
whether you feel highly
committed to a team
project? How does
communication among
team players influence
your attitude?
?
Some meetings are brief and casual. At other times, formal structure
can help a group tackle challenges in a systematic manner.
When would each problem-solving format in this section be most
helpful to you?
definitions at left
breakout groups
problem census
focus group
parliamentary procedure
panel discussion
symposium
forum
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voters who attend a candidates’ debate. In other cases, the audi-
ence members are simply interested spectators, as occurs when
people watch C-SPAN or The People’s Court on TV.
Group Discussion Formats
This list of group discussion formats and approaches is not
exhaustive, but it provides a sense of how a group’s structure can
shape its ability to come up with high-quality solutions.
Breakout Group When the number of members is too large
for effective discussion, breakout groups can be used to
maximize effective participation. In this approach, subgroups
(usually consisting of five to seven members) simultaneously
address an issue and then report back to the group at large. The
best ideas of each breakout group are then assembled to form
a high-quality decision.
Problem Census When some members are more vocal than
others, problem census can help equalize participation. Mem-
bers use a separate card to list each of their ideas. The leader col-
lects all cards and reads them to the group one by one, posting
each idea on a board visible to everyone. Because the name of
the person who contributed each item isn’t listed, issues are sep-
arated from personalities. As similar items are read, the leader posts and arranges
them in clusters. After all items are read and posted, the leader and members con-
solidate similar items into a number of ideas that the group needs to address.
Focus Group Sponsoring organizations often use focus groups to learn how
potential users or the public at large regards a new product or idea. Unlike some
of the other groups discussed here, focus groups don’t include decision makers or
other members who claim any expertise on a subject. Instead, their comments are
used by decision makers to figure out how people in the wider world might react
to ideas.
Parliamentary Procedure Problem-solving meetings can follow a variety of for-
mats. A session that uses parliamentary procedure observes specific rules about
how topics may be discussed and decisions made. The standard reference book for
parliamentary procedure is the revised edition of Robert’s Rules of Order. Although
the parliamentary rules may seem stilted and cumbersome, when well used, they
do keep a discussion on track and protect the rights of the minority against domi-
nation by the majority.
Panel Discussion Another common problem-solving format is the panel
discussion, in which the participants discuss the topic informally, much as they
would in an ordinary conversation. A leader (called a “moderator” in public dis-
cussions) may help the discussion along by encouraging the comments of some
members, cutting off overly talkative ones, and seeking consensus when the time
comes for making a decision.
Symposium In a symposium the participants divide the topic in a manner
that allows each member to deliver in-depth information without interruption.
Although this format lends itself to good explanations of each person’s decision, the
one-person-at-a-time nature of a symposium won’t lead to a group decision. The contri-
butions of the members must be followed by the give-and-take of an open discussion.
Forum A forum allows nonmembers to add their opinions to the group’s delibera-
tions before the group makes a decision. This approach is commonly used by public
agencies to encourage the participation of citizens in the decisions that affect them.
@WORK
The Power of Constructive Dialogue
In a dialogue session, about 20 members of a large corpora-
tion explored ways to boost the effectiveness of their work
team. One participant shared his belief that “people who
come to work late are lazy and rude.” Even members who
thought the complaint was harsh listened respectfully as the
speaker explained his ideas about what team members owe
one another and the organization.
Another group member acknowledged that she had been
arriving late recently and described a series of issues involv-
ing child care and transportation. She shared her frustration
over the apparently impossible conflict between work obli-
gations and family challenges, and her regret over letting
down her colleagues. There was silence as the group pon-
dered the dilemma she described.
Another member spoke out: “I don’t have kids. You chose
to have them. So your situation is not my problem.” The
emotional shockwaves in the room were evident on people’s
faces. The facilitator asked everyone to sit quietly for a few
moments before responding.
One man in the group presented a different perspective:
“Imagine we are a football team and we have just gotten
new uniforms. We look great. We feel great. But the kicker
says his feet hurt—his shoes are too small. Would we say,
‘That’s not our problem’?”
The session adjourned, as dialogues do, without any deci-
sions being made, but leaving members with a good deal
to think about. In the days that followed, many people
approached the team member with child care problems
to express their sympathy for her dilemma. Several said
they had the opposite problem: They could come early,
but they needed to leave a few minutes before the work-
day ended. They were able to make a time trade to suit
the needs of everyone involved, without compromising
the team’s mission or inconveniencing the rest of the
group.
In a follow-up dialogue, members of the team commented
on how easily the situation was resolved once everyone
understood one another. “Under different circumstances,
we might have created a new policy we didn’t need, which
wouldn’t have helped,” said one team member. “Now we say,
‘the kicker’s feet hurt’ any time we are tempted to jump to
conclusions without listening first.”
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Dialogue Sometimes the best way to tackle a problem is to stop trying to find a
solution and listen. Dialogue is a process in which people let go of the notion that
their ideas are superior to others’ and instead try to understand the issue from many
perspectives.18 For example, if the problem is that some children in your community
are not being immunized, you might invite a collection of diverse people together to
talk about the issue. Perhaps you had assumed that parents were being irresponsible,
but you learn by listening that some of them don’t have transportation, can’t afford
the cost, or don’t understand medical information very well. You will probably pro-
ceed very differently once you realize the complexities of the issue for some people.
In a genuine dialogue, members acknowledge that everything they “know” and
believe is an assumption based on their own, unavoidably limited experiences.
People engage in curious and open-minded discussion about that assumption.
People may ask questions and suspend their own assumptions, but participants
guard against either–or thinking. The goal is to understand one another better,
not to reach a decision or debate an issue.
Through dialogue, observes theorist David Isaacs, problems are often not so
much solved as dissolved.19 The issue may cease to be a problem, or it may be so
transformed that the solution is obvious or occurs without a formal decision. (For
an example of an actual dialogue, see the “@Work” box on this page.)
Solving Problems in Virtual Groups
One advantage of virtual teamwork is autonomy. The company Automattic holds
few formal meetings. There are few rules and no set working hours. “I don’t care if
dialogue A process in which people
let go of the notion that their ideas are
more correct or superior to others’ and
instead seek to understand an issue
from many different perspectives.
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Developing Trust Long Distance
Trust is a feeling. We may not be able to say clearly why
one person strikes us as trustworthy and another triggers
our defenses. But if we could observe trust building in slow
motion, we’d find that it’s based on a collection of signals,
some of them very subtle.
Nonverbal cues are usually the first evidence we consider.
Does this person smile, make eye contact, show evidence
of being friendly and interested in what we have to say,
exhibit appropriate use of space and touch? Over time, we
take into account patterns of behavior that suggest the per-
son’s underlying character and commitment. Is this person
dependable, consistent in his or her actions, committed to
the team, honest, and so on?20
Some of these factors are difficult to judge at a distance. But
emerging research suggests that, with a little effort, trust can
flourish among virtual team members. Experts’ tips include
the following:21
1. Use video technology as often as possible.
This provides members with valuable visual and nonver-
bal cues about one another.
2. Pay particular attention to your nonverbal communi-
cation while you are on camera.
Although it is tempting to check your phone or leaf through
papers, it may send the signal that you are uninterested.
3. Show enthusiasm for the group’s mission and tasks.
4. Encourage members to share information about
themselves.
As you learned in Chapter 7, self-disclosure is an impor-
tant way to demonstrate trust in others and to allow
them to get to know you.
Trust typically rises in virtual teams who practice these
simple principles, and as result, their performance
improves as well.22
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you spend the afternoon on the golf course and then work from 2 to 5 A.M.,” CEO
Matt Mullenweg says. His only question is: “What do you actually produce?”23
Even the company-wide annual retreat is treated as an occasion for socializing and
working on team projects rather than the typical sit-down-and-listen approach.
The lack of meetings doesn’t mean communication is limited. Although
Automatticians are spread all over the globe, communication among them
flows more freely than it might if they shared a roof. They communicate more
or less continually in real time through P2, a company-wide blog system simi-
lar to Yammer. Anyone can review the posts, comment on them, and use them
as an archive of information. “Everyone, from intern to CEO, can weigh in on
anything,”24 observes an industry analyst. The system supports transparency,
frequent interaction, open debates, and shared learning—in short, dynamic com-
munication 24 hours a day.
Whether it’s a group of students in different locations working on a class proj-
ect, a sales team sharing ideas and leads from the road, or a military group devis-
ing plans from across the globe, technology makes it possible to collaborate from
virtually anywhere, either in real time or asynchronously.
Chapter 9 described some benefits of online collaboration. Members who
might have kept quiet in face-to-face sessions may be more comfortable “speak-
ing out” online. Also, online meetings often generate a permanent record of the
proceedings, which can be convenient.
But where problem solving is concerned, virtual interaction presents some unique
challenges as well as benefits. For one thing, if members can’t see one another clearly,
it may be difficult to convey and understand one another’s emotions and attitudes.
For another, it may take virtual teams longer to reach decisions than those who meet
face-to-face.25 And whereas high-tech videoconferencing may make it feel that people
are in the same room, other forms of interaction (such as typing messages) can be
ASK YOURSELF
Have your team efforts
been enhanced by
the ability to commu-
nicate online? Have
you encountered any
difficulties or draw-
backs? What lessons
about virtual teamwork
emerge from your
experiences?
?
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laborious. Because typing sometimes takes more time and effort than speaking,
messages conveyed via computer can lack the detail of spoken ones. In some cases,
members may not bother to type out a message online that they would have shared
in person. Finally, the string of separate messages that is generated in a computerized
medium can be hard to track, sort out, and synthesize in a meaningful way.
Research comparing the quality of decisions made by face-to-face and online
groups is mixed. Evidence suggests that virtual teams can be as effective as others, but
only if the members have cultivated trusting relationships with one another.26 Cer-
tain types of mediated communication generally work better than others. For exam-
ple, asynchronous groups often make better decisions than those functioning in a
“chat” mode, perhaps because members have time to digest and synthesize informa-
tion.27 Groups who have special decision-support software typically perform better
than ones operating without this advantage.28 Having a moderator also improves the
effectiveness of many online groups.29 (For more on trust building in virtual teams,
see the “Understanding Communication Technology” box on page 283.)
Perhaps the most valuable lesson is that online meetings should not entirely
replace face-to-face ones, but they can supplement in-person sessions. Combining the
two forms of interaction can help groups operate both efficiently and effectively.30
Approaches and Stages
in Problem Solving
Groups may have the potential to solve problems effectively, but they don’t always
live up to this potential. What makes some groups succeed and others fail? Research-
ers have spent decades asking this question. To discover their findings, read on.
A Structured Problem-Solving Approach
Although we often pride ourselves on facing problems rationally, intense emotions
often hamper our problem-solving ability. This is especially true when frustration or
anger leads us to lash out at others31 or when we don’t think things through clearly
because we are overly optimistic that we know the right response.32 Most theorists
agree that problem-solving teams benefit from a healthy combination of rationality
and creativity. Here, we discuss problem-solving models that incorporate both.
As early as 1910, John Dewey introduced his famous “reflective thinking”
method as a systematic approach to solving problems.33 Since then, other experts
have suggested modifications of Dewey’s approach. Some emphasize answering
key questions, whereas others seek “ideal solutions” that meet the needs of all
members. Research comparing various methods has clearly shown that, although
no single approach is best for all situations, a structured procedure produces better
results than “no pattern” discussions.34
The following problem-solving model contains the elements common to most
structured approaches developed in the last century:
1. Identify the problem.
a. Determine the group’s goals.
b. Determine individual members’ goals.
2. Analyze the problem.
a. Word the problem as a broad, open question.
b. Identify criteria for success.
c. Gather relevant information.
d. Identify supporting and restraining forces.
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3. Develop creative solutions through brainstorming or the nominal group
technique.
a. Avoid criticism at this stage.
b. Encourage an unrestricted exchange of ideas.
c. Develop a large number of ideas.
d. Combine two or more individual ideas.
4. Evaluate the solutions by asking the following:
a. Which solution will best produce the desired changes?
b. Which solution is most achievable?
c. Which solution contains the fewest serious disadvantages?
5. Implement the plan.
a. Identify specific tasks.
b. Determine necessary resources.
c. Define individual responsibilities.
d. Provide for emergencies.
6. Follow up on the solution.
a. Meet to evaluate progress.
b. Revise the approach as necessary.
Let’s consider each step in more detail.
Identify the Problem Sometimes a group’s problem is easy to identify. The crew
of a sinking ship, for example, doesn’t need to conduct a discussion to understand
that its goal is to avoid drowning or being eaten by a large fish.
There are many times, however, when the problems facing a group aren’t so
clear. As an example, think of an athletic team stuck deep in last place well into
the season. At first the problem seems obvious: an inability to win any games.
But a closer look at the situation might show that there are unmet goals and thus
other problems. For instance, individual members may have goals that aren’t tied
directly to winning: making friends, being recognized as good athletes, or having
fun. You can probably see that if the coach or team members took a simplistic
view of the situation, looking only at the team’s win–loss record, player errors,
training methods, and so on, some important problems would probably go over-
looked. In this situation, the team’s performance could probably be best improved
by working on the basic problems of the players’ frustration at having their per-
sonal needs unmet. The moral is clear: To understand a group’s problem, start by
identifying the concerns of each member.
What about groups that don’t have problems? Several friends planning a sur-
prise birthday party and a family deciding where to go for its vacation don’t seem
to be in the difficult situation of a losing athletic team—they simply want to have
fun. In cases like these, it may be helpful to substitute the word challenge for the
more gloomy word problem. However we express it, members of these teams are
also influenced by what each member seeks as a result of belonging to the group.
Analyze the Problem After you have identified the general nature of the prob-
lem facing the group, you are ready to look at the problem in more detail. There
are several steps you can follow to accomplish this important job.
Word the Problem as a Broad, Open Question If you have ever seen a formal
debate, you know that the issue under discussion is worded as a proposition:
“The United States should reduce its foreign aid expenditures,” for example. Many
problem-solving groups define their task in much the same way. “We ought to
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spend our vacation in the mountains,” suggests one family member. The problem
with phrasing problems as propositions (positions) is that such wording invites
people to take sides. Though this approach is fine for formal debates (which are
contests rather like football or card games), taking sides prematurely creates unnec-
essary conflict in most problem-solving groups.
A far better approach is to state the problem as an open question that encour-
ages exploratory thinking. Asking, “Should we vacation in the mountains or at
the beach?” still forces members to choose sides. A far better approach involves
asking a question to help define the general goals (interests) that came out during
the problem-identification stage: “What do we want our vacation to accomplish?”
(perhaps relaxation, adventure, or low cost).
Notice that this question is truly exploratory. It encourages the family members
to work cooperatively, not forcing them to make a choice and then defend it. This
absence of an either–or situation boosts the odds that members will listen openly
to one another rather than listening selectively in defense of their own positions.
There is even a chance that the cooperative, exploratory climate that comes from
wording the question most broadly will help the family arrive at a consensus about
where to vacation, eliminating the need to discuss the matter further.
Identify Criteria for Success Phrasing the challenge as an open-ended question
will help the group identify the criteria for a successful solution. Imagine that a
neighborhood task force asks the question, “How can we create a safer environ-
ment?” Developing an answer calls for clarifying what would count as the desired
outcome. Fewer incidents reported to police? Less graffiti? More people on the street at
night? Knowing what members want puts a group on the road to achieving its goal.
It may even affect the way you engage in problem-solving. Table 10-2 presents some
ways to adapt the process to a team’s unique circumstances.
Gather Relevant Information Groups often need to know important facts before
they can make decisions or even understand the problem. We remember one group
of students who were determined to do well on a class presentation. One of their
goals, then, was “to get an A grade.” They knew that, to do so, they would have to
present a topic that interested both the instructor and the students in the audience.
Their first job, then, was to do a bit of background research to find out what subjects
would be well received. They interviewed the instructor, asking what topics had been
successes and failures in previous semesters. They tested some possible subjects on a
few classmates and noted their reactions. From this research they were able to modify
their original question, “How can we choose and develop a topic that will earn us
TABLE 10-2
Adapting Problem-Solving Methods to Special Circumstances
CIRCUMSTANCES METHOD
Members have strong feelings about the problem. Consider allowing a period of emotional ventilation before systematic
problem solving.
Task difficulty is high. Follow the structure of the problem-solving method carefully.
There are many possible solutions. Emphasize brainstorming.
A high level of member acceptance is required. Carefully define the needs of all members, and seek solutions that satisfy all
needs.
A high level of technical quality is required. Emphasize evaluation of ideas; consider inviting outside experts.
Source: Adapted from J. Brilhart & G. Galanes. (2001). Adapting problem-solving methods. In Effective group discussion (10th ed.), p. 291. Copyright © 2001. Reprinted by
permission of McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
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an A grade?” into a more specific one, “How can we choose and develop a topic that
contains humor, action, and lots of information (to demonstrate our research skills
to the instructor) and that contains practical information that will improve the audi-
ence’s social life, academic standing, or financial condition?”
Identify Supporting and Restraining Forces After members understand what
they are seeking, the next step is to see what forces stand between the group and
its goals. It might be useful to conduct a force field analysis: that is, to list all of
the forces that hinder (restrain) the group and all of those that help (impel) it.35 By
returning to our earlier example of the troubled sports team, we can see how the
force field operates. Suppose the team defined its problem-question as “How can
we (1) have more fun and (2) grow closer as friends?”
One restraining force in Area 1 (having more fun) was clearly the team’s losing
record. But, more interestingly, discussion revealed that their enjoyment was also
diminished by the coach’s obsession with winning and his infectiously glum
behavior when the team failed. The main restraining force in Area 2 (growing
closer as friends) proved to be the lack of socializing among team members in
nongame situations. The helping forces in Area 1 included the sense of humor
possessed by several members and the confession by most players that winning
wasn’t nearly as important to them as everyone had suspected. The helping force
in Area 2 was the desire of all team members to become better friends. In addi-
tion, the fact that members shared many interests was an important plus.
It’s important to realize that most problems have many impelling and restrain-
ing forces, all of which should be identified during this stage. This may call for
another round of research. After the force field is laid out, the group is ready to
move on to the next step: deciding how to strengthen the impelling forces and
weaken the restraining ones.
Develop Creative Solutions After the group has established a list of criteria for
success, the next job is to develop a number of ways to reach its goal. Consider-
ing more than one solution is important, because the first solution may not be
the best one. During this development stage, creativity is essential. The biggest
danger is the tendency of members to defend their own ideas and criticize others’.
This kind of behavior leads to two problems. First, evaluative criticism almost
guarantees a defensive reaction from members whose ideas have been attacked.
Second, evaluative criticism stifles creativity. People who have just heard an idea
rebuked, however politely, will find it hard even to think of more alternatives, let
alone share them openly and risk possible criticism. The following strategies can
keep groups creative and maintain a positive climate.
Brainstorm Probably the best known strategy for encouraging creativity and
avoiding the dangers just described is brainstorming.36 There are four important
rules connected with this strategy:
• Criticism is forbidden. As we have said, nothing will stop the flow of ideas
more quickly than negative evaluation.
• Share whatever comes to mind. Sometimes even the most outlandish
ideas prove workable, and even an impractical suggestion might trigger a
workable idea.
• Share a lot of ideas. The more ideas generated, the better the chance of
coming up with a good one.
• Combine and build upon ideas. Members are encouraged to “piggyback”
by modifying ideas already suggested and to combine previous suggestions.
Use the Nominal Group Technique Because people in groups often can’t resist the
tendency to criticize one another’s ideas, the nominal group technique was developed
force field analysis A method of
problem analysis that identifies the
forces contributing to resolution of the
problem and the forces that inhibit its
resolution.
brainstorming A method for cre-
atively generating ideas in groups by
minimizing criticism and encouraging a
large quantity of ideas without regard to
their workability or ownership by indi-
vidual members.
nominal group technique A method
for including the ideas of all group mem-
bers in a problem-solving session.
cultural idiom
round-robin fashion: allowing
members to express themselves one
at a time
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to let members brainstorm ideas without being attacked. As the following steps show,
the pattern involves alternating cycles of individual work followed by discussion.
• Each member works alone to develop a list of possible solutions.
• In round-robin fashion, each member in turn offers one item from his or her
list. The item is listed on a chart visible to everyone. Other members may ask
questions to clarify an idea, but no evaluation is allowed during this step.
• Each member privately ranks his or her choice of the ideas in order, from
most preferable (5 points) to least preferable (1 point). The rankings are
collected, and the top ideas are retained as the most promising solutions.
• A free discussion of the top ideas is held. At this point critical thinking
(though not personal criticism) is encouraged. The group continues to dis-
cuss until a decision is reached, either by majority vote or by consensus.
Evaluate Possible Solutions After it has listed possible solutions, the group can
evaluate the usefulness of each. One good way of identifying the most workable
solutions is to ask three questions.
• Will this proposal produce the desired changes? One way to find out is to see
whether it successfully overcomes the restraining forces in your force field
analysis.
• Can the proposal be implemented by the group? Can the members make the
most of forces working in their favor and overcome factors that stand in
their way? If not, the plan isn’t a good one.
• Does the proposal contain any serious disadvantages? Sometimes the cost
of achieving a goal is too great. For example, one way to raise money for
a group is to rob a bank. Although this plan might be workable, it causes
more problems than it solves.
Implement the Plan Everyone who makes New Year’s resolutions knows the dif-
ference between making a decision and carrying it out. There are several impor-
tant steps in developing and implementing a plan of action.
• Identify specific tasks to be accomplished. What must be done? Even
a relatively simple job usually involves several steps. Now is the time to
anticipate all the tasks facing the group. Remember everything now, and
you will avoid a last-minute rush later.
• Determine necessary resources. Identify the equipment, material, and
other resources the group will need to get the job done.
• Define individual responsibilities. Who will do what? Do all the mem-
bers know their jobs? The safest plan here is to put everyone’s duties in writ-
ing, including the due date. This might sound compulsive, but experience
shows that it increases the chance of having jobs done on time.
• Plan ahead for emergencies. Murphy’s Law states that “whatever can
go wrong will go wrong.” Anyone experienced in group work knows the
truth of this. People forget their obligations, get sick, or quit. Machinery
breaks down. (One corollary of Murphy’s Law is, “The Internet connection
will be down whenever it’s most needed.”) Whenever possible, you ought
to develop contingency plans to cover foreseeable problems. Probably the
single best suggestion we can give here is to plan on having all work done
well ahead of the deadline, knowing that, even with last-minute problems,
you can still finish on time.
Follow Up on the Solution Even the best plans usually require some modifica-
tions after they’re put into practice. You can improve the group’s effectiveness and
minimize disappointment by following two steps.
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• Meet periodically to evaluate progress. Follow-up meetings are part of
every good plan. The best time to schedule these meetings is as you put the
group’s plan to work. At that time, a good leader or member will suggest, “Let’s
get together in a week (or a few days or a month, depending on the nature of
the task). We can see how things are going and take care of any problems.”
• Revise the group’s approach as necessary. These follow-up meetings
will often go beyond simply congratulating everyone for coming up with a
good solution. Problems are bound to arise, and these periodic meetings,
in which the key players are present, are the place to solve them.
Although these steps provide a useful outline for solving problems, they are
most valuable as a general set of guidelines and not as a precise formula that every
group should follow. Certain parts of the model may need emphasis depending
on the nature of the specific problem. The general approach will give virtually
any group a useful way to consider and solve a problem.
Despite its advantages, the rational, systematic problem-solving approach
isn’t perfect. The old computer saying, “Garbage in, garbage out” applies here. If
the group doesn’t possess creative talent, a rational and systematic approach to
solving problems won’t do much good. Despite this, the rational approach does
increase the odds that a group can solve problems successfully. Following the
guidelines even imperfectly will help members analyze the problem, come up
with solutions, and carry them out better than they could without a plan.
Decision-Making Methods
There are several approaches a group can use to make decisions. We’ll look at each
of them now, examining their advantages and disadvantages.
Consensus When all members of a group support a decision we say they have
achieved consensus. The advantages of consensus are obvious. Full participation
can increase the quality of the decision as well as the commitment of the members
to support it. Consensus is especially important in decisions on critical or complex
matters. In such cases, methods involving less input can diminish the quality of or
enthusiasm for a decision. Despite its advantages, consensus
also has its disadvantages. It can take a great deal of time, which
makes it unsuitable for emergencies. In addition, it is often very
frustrating. Emotions can run high on important matters, and
patience in the face of such pressures is difficult. Because of the
need to deal with these emotional pressures, consensus calls
for more communication skill than do other decision-making
approaches. As with many things in life, consensus has high
rewards, which come at a proportionately high cost.
Majority Control A naive belief of many people (perhaps
coming from overzealous high school civics teachers) is that
the democratic method of majority rule is always superior.
This method does have its advantages in matters in which the
support of all members isn’t necessary, but in more important
matters it is risky. Remember that even if a 51% majority of
the members favors a plan, 49% might still oppose it—hardly
sweeping support for any decision that needs the support of all
members in order to work.
Besides producing unhappy members, decisions made under majority rule are
often inferior to decisions hashed out by a group until the members reach consen-
sus.37 Under majority rule, members who recognize that they are outvoted often
participate less, and the deliberations usually end after a majority opinion has
formed, even though minority viewpoints might be worthwhile.
Some contestants on the reality TV show
Survivor must work together to provide for
themselves as they compete with other teams.
In what circumstances might contestants
best use each of the decision-making
methods described in these pages? When is
each method most appropriate in your life?
consensus Agreement among group
members about a decision.
ASK YOURSELF
What decision-making
method (consensus,
majority control, expert
decision, minority con-
trol, or authority rule)
are you most comfort-
able with? When might
other methods be
more productive?
?
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Expert Opinion Sometimes one group member is defined as an expert and, as such,
is given the power to make decisions. This method can work well when that person’s
judgment is truly superior. For example, if a group of friends is backpacking in the
wilderness and one becomes injured, it would probably be foolish to argue with the
advice of a doctor in the group. In most cases, however, matters aren’t so simple. Who
is the expert? There is often disagreement on this question. Sometimes a member
thinks he or she is the best qualified to make a decision, but others disagree. In a case
like this, the group probably won’t support that person’s advice, even if it is sound.
Minority Control Sometimes a few members of a group decide matters. This
approach works well with noncritical questions that would waste the whole
group’s time. In the form of a committee, a minority of members also can study
an issue in greater detail than can the entire group. When an issue is so important
that it needs the support of everyone, it’s best at least to have the committee report
its findings for the approval of all members.
Authority Rule Autocratic leaders most often use authority rule. Though it
sounds dictatorial, there are times when such an approach has advantages. This
method is quick, so it comes into play when there simply isn’t time for a group
to decide what to do. The approach is also acceptable with routine matters that
don’t require discussion in order to gain approval. When overused, however, this
approach causes problems. Much of the time, group decisions are of higher qual-
ity and gain more support from members than those made by an individual.
Thus, failure to consult with members can lead to a decline in effectiveness, even
when the leader’s decision is a reasonable one.
Which of these decision-making approaches is best? The answer can vary from
one culture to another. People in more countries than ever before prefer a dem-
ocratic style to an authoritarian style, in which leaders make decisions on their
own.38 This is probably because global communication has made human rights a
high-priority issue. However, cultural differences still exist. For example, compared
to Great Britain and the United States, people in Taiwan,39 Greece, and Cyprus40 are
more accepting of leaders who make decisions on their own. As you may recall from
Chapter 3, people in high-power-distance cultures such as these are more likely than
others to revere authority figures and to accept their decisions without question.
When choosing a decision-making approach, weigh the pros and cons of each
before you decide which one has the best chance of success in the situation your
group is facing. Table 10-3 provides handy reminders.
Choosing an Optimal Decision-Making Method41
CIRCUMSTANCES METHOD
It is important to have everyone’s support.
The issue is critical or complex.
There is adequate time to involve everyone.
Consensus
It isn’t necessary to have everyone’s buy-in.
People are well informed about the issue.
Time is of the essence.
Majority control
One person’s judgment is truly superior. Expert opinion
There isn’t time or need for everyone to study the issue.
It isn’t necessary that everyone agree.
Minority control
Time is limited.
The issue is a routine matter.
Authority rule
TABLE 10-3
CHECKLIST
Coping with Information
Overload
When you’re drowning in data and can’t decide
what’s most important, group expert J. Dan
Rothwell offers several tips.44
Specialize whenever possible. Try to
parcel out areas of responsibility instead of
expecting each member to explore every
angle of the topic.
Be selective. Take a quick look at each piece
of information to see whether it has real
value for your task. If it doesn’t, move on to
examine more promising material.
Limit your search. Information specialists
have discovered that there is often a curvilin-
ear relationship between the amount of infor-
mation a group possesses and the quality of its
decision. After a certain point, gathering more
material can slow you down without contrib-
uting to the quality of your group’s decisions.
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Overcoming Dangers
in Group Discussion
Even groups with the best of intentions often find themselves unable to
reach satisfying decisions. At other times, they make decisions that later
prove to be wrong. Reflecting on Automattic’s success, Matt Mullenweg
says, “We don’t expect perfection—we care more about how quickly they
[team members] identify an error, how they communicate about it, and
what they learn from it.”42 As CEO, Mullenweg spends about one-third of
his time recruiting top-quality team members, which he describes as being
self-motivated people with great communication skills and the ability to
learn from mistakes.43 Though there’s no foolproof method of guarantee-
ing high-quality group work, here are several dangers to avoid and some
warning signs of danger ahead.
Information Underload and Overload
Information underload occurs when a group lacks information
necessary to operate effectively. Sometimes the underload results
from overlooking parts of a problem. We know of one group who
scheduled a fundraising auction without considering what other
events might attract potential donors. They later found that their
event was scheduled opposite an important football game, resulting
in a loss of sorely needed funds. In other cases, groups suffer from
underload because they simply don’t conduct enough research. For
example, a group of partners starting a new business has to be aware
of all the startup costs to avoid going bankrupt in the first months
of operation. Overlooking one or two important items can make the
difference between success and failure.
Sometimes groups suffer from too much information. Information
overload occurs when the rate or complexity of material is too great to
manage. Having an abundance of information might seem like a bless-
ing, but anyone who has tried to do conscientious library research has
become aware of the paralysis that can result from being overwhelmed
by an avalanche of books, magazine and newspaper articles, reviews,
films, and research studies. When confronted with too much informa-
tion, it is hard to sort out the essential from the unessential informa-
tion. See the checklist on this page for useful tips.
Unequal Participation
The value of involving group members in making decisions, especially
decisions that affect them, is great.45 When people participate, their
loyalty to the group increases. (Your own experience will probably
show that most group dropouts were quiet and withdrawn.) Broad-
based participation has a second advantage: It increases the amount of
resources focused on the problem. As a result, the quality of the group’s
decisions goes up. Finally, participation increases members’ loyalty to
the decisions that they played a part in making.
The key to effective participation is balance. Domination by a few
vocal or high-status members can reduce a group’s ability to solve a
problem effectively. One benefit of group decision making online is
that participants tend to be blind to status differences that might sway
them in person.46 The moral to this story? Don’t assume that quantity
information underload The decline in efficiency
that occurs when there is a shortage of the informa-
tion necessary to operate effectively.
information overload The decline in efficiency that
occurs when the rate or complexity of material is too
great to manage.
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of speech or the status of the speaker automatically defines the quality of an idea.
Instead, seek out and seriously consider the ideas of all members.
Not all participation is helpful, of course. It’s better to remain quiet than to act
out the dysfunctional roles described in Chapter 9—cynic, aggressor, dominator,
and so on. Likewise, the comments of a member who is uninformed can waste
time. Finally, downright ignorant or mistaken input can distract a group.
You can encourage the useful contributions of quiet members in a variety of ways:
• Keep the group small. In groups with three or four members, participation
is roughly equal, but after the size increases to between five and eight, there
is a dramatic gap between the contributions of members.47
• Even in a large group, you can increase the contributions of quiet members
by soliciting their opinions. This approach may seem obvious, but in their
enthusiasm to speak out, more verbal communicators can overlook the
people who don’t speak up.
• When normally reticent members do offer information, reinforce their con-
tributions. It isn’t necessary to excessively praise a quiet person’s brilliant
remark, but a word of thanks and an acknowledgment of the value of an
idea increase the odds that the contributor will speak up again in the future.
• Another strategy is to assign specific tasks to normally quiet members. The
need to report on these tasks guarantees that they will speak up.
• Use the nominal group technique described earlier in this chapter to guar-
antee that the ideas of all members are heard.
• Consider offering communication-friendly gathering areas. Some compa-
nies, such as Google, encourage people to move the furniture so that team
members can sit work near each other. As you might expect, employees in
close proximity engage in more face-to-face communication than they would
otherwise. They also email each other more than people who sit farther
away.48 This finding suggests that regular contact is a key factor in stimulating
communication at many levels.
Different strategies can help when the problem is one or more members talking
too much, especially when their remarks aren’t helpful. If the talkative member is at
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Overly Talkative and Quiet
Group Members
Balancing participation in group
discussions can involve reining in some
members and urging others to speak up
when they would prefer to be silent.
1. Are there any circumstances in which it
is legitimate to place quiet group members
in the position of speaking up when they
would rather remain quiet? When does
it become unreasonable to urge quiet
members to participate?
2. Does discouraging talkative members
ever violate the principles of free speech
and tolerance for others’ opinions?
Describe when it is and is not appropriate
to limit a member’s contributions.
After developing your ethical guidelines,
consider how you would feel if they were
applied to you.
Source: © Original Artist. Reproduction rights obtainable from www.CartoonStock.com
http://www.CartoonStock.com
cultural idioms
rock the boat: disturb a stable
condition
devil’s advocate: one who argues
against a widely held view in order to
clarify issues
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all sensitive, withholding reinforcement can deliver a diplomatic hint
that it may be time to listen more and speak less. A lack of response to
an idea or suggestion can work as a hint to cut back on speaking. Don’t
confuse lack of reinforcement with punishment, however. Attacking a
member for dominating the group is likely to trigger a defensive reac-
tion and cause more harm than good. If the talkative member doesn’t
respond to subtle hints, politely expressing a desire to hear from other
members can be effective. The next stage in this series of escalating
strategies for dealing with dominating members is to question the rel-
evance of remarks that are apparently off topic or unproductive: “I’m
confused about what last Saturday’s party has to do with the job we
have to do today. Am I missing something?”
Pressure to Conform
There’s a strong tendency for group members to go along with the crowd,
which often results in bad decisions. A classic study by Solomon Asch
illustrated this point. College students were shown three lines of differ-
ent lengths and asked to identify which of them matched a fourth line.
Although the correct answer was obvious, the experiment was a setup:
Asch had instructed all but one member of the experimental groups to
vote for the wrong line. As a result, fully one-third of the uninformed
subjects ignored their own good judgment and voted with the majority.
If simple tasks like this one generate such conformity, it is easy to see
that following the (sometimes mistaken) crowd is even more likely in
the much more complex and ambiguous tasks that most groups face.
Even when there’s no overt pressure to follow the majority, more
subtle influences motivate members, especially in highly cohesive
groups, to keep quiet rather than voice any thoughts that deviate
from what appears to be the consensus. “Why rock the boat if I’m
the only dissenter?” members think. “And if everybody else feels the
same way, they’re probably right.”
With no dissent, the group begins to take on a feeling of invul-
nerability: an unquestioning belief that its ideas are correct and even
morally right. As its position solidifies, outsiders who disagree can be
viewed as the enemy, disloyal to what is obviously the only legitimate
viewpoint. Social scientists use the term groupthink to describe a
group’s collective striving for unanimity that discourages realistic
appraisals of alternatives to its chosen decision.49 Groupthink has led
to a number of disasters, including the United States’s botched Bay
of Pigs invasion of Cuba in the 1960s, the Challenger Space Shuttle
disaster in 1986, and the corporate culture that led to the downfall
of energy giant Enron in 2001. A more recent example is the Penn-
sylvania State University sex abuse scandal. For more than 14 years,
numerous people who knew about the abuse didn’t report it because
they feared they would lose their jobs or damage the institution’s rep-
utation if they went public.50 To avoid groupthink disasters yourself,
see the checklist on this page.
We opened this chapter by describing Matt Mullenweg’s phenom-
enal success building high-tech teams. In the end, he says, it doesn’t
matter whether teams meet in person or cyberspace. Either way,
excellent results come from having the right people on board and
great communication. As Mullenweg puts it, “. . . if you give people
autonomy to execute on something meaningful, and bias the envi-
ronment to moving quickly, amazing things can happen.”51
CHECKLIST
Avoiding Groupthink
Several group practices can discourage the
troublesome force of groupthink.52
Recognize early warning signs of group-
think. It may seem like a good sign if agree-
ment comes quickly and easily, but under
the surface, the group may be avoiding the
tough but necessary search for alternatives.
Considering all the options now may save
time and hardship later.
Minimize status differences. Group mem-
bers sometimes fall into the trap of agreeing
with anything the leader says. To minimize
this tendency, leaders should make it clear
that they encourage open debate rather than
blind obedience. They might also encourage
members to conduct initial brainstorming
sessions on their own, among peers.
Make respectful disagreement the norm.
After members recognize that questioning
one another’s positions doesn’t signal per-
sonal animosity or disloyalty, a constructive
exchange of ideas can lead to top-quality
solutions. Sometimes it can be helpful to
designate a person or subgroup as a “devil’s
advocate” who reminds the others about
the dangers of groupthink and challenges
the trend toward consensus.
groupthink A group’s collective striving for una-
nimity that discourages realistic appraisals of alter-
natives to its chosen decision.
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MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Weigh the pros and cons of using a
group to solve a problem.
• Despite the bad reputation of groups, research shows that
they are often the most effective setting for problem solving.
• Groups possess greater resources, both quantitatively
and qualitatively, than do either individuals or collec-
tions of people working in isolation.
• Teamwork can result in greater accuracy than individual
efforts, and people may feel more committed to solu-
tions they have helped to produce.
• Groups are probably the best option if (1) the problem is
beyond the capacity of one person to solve, (2) tasks are
interdependent, (3) there is more than one desired solu-
tion or decision, and (4) the agreement of all members
is essential.
> Name six conditions in which it is usually more
effective to address a problem as a group rather than
as an individual.
> Describe a group experience in which you felt it
would have been more productive to work alone.
What factors caused you to feel that way?
> Think of a challenge you have faced while belonging
to a group (e.g., at work, with roommates or family,
on a team). Evaluate whether it would be better to
tackle the problem collectively or to let members deal
with it individually.
OBJECTIVE Identify ways that teams can build
strong foundations.
• Effective groups strive to build a sense of cohesiveness
among members.
• Strong teams move through the following stages as they
solve a problem: orientation, conflict, emergence, and
reinforcement. Describe at least five methods of building
team cohesiveness.
> Summarize the development of a team that is famil-
iar to you, from orientation through reinforcement,
giving an example of communication in each stage.
> Assess the level of cohesiveness on a 1 (low) to 10
(high) scale in a group to which you currently belong
or have belonged in the past. Using the factors in this
chapter, describe the reasons for the cohesiveness
10.1
10.2
level you identified, and develop recommendations
for moving the group’s cohesiveness toward the opti-
mal level.
OBJECTIVE Compare group discussion formats
(e.g., breakout groups, focus groups, symposia, reflective
thinking, and dialogue), and recommend when to use each.
• Groups use a variety of discussion formats when solv-
ing problems, and each format has advantages and
disadvantages depending on the size of the group, the
behavior of members, and the nature of the problem.
Breakout groups, focus groups, symposia, forums, and
panel discussions are well suited to large gatherings,
whereas dialogue and problem consensus are well suited
to medium-sized and small groups.
• Because face-to-face meetings can be time consuming
and difficult to arrange, virtual teamwork is a good alter-
native for some group tasks. Mediated meetings provide a
record of discussion, and they can make it easier for nor-
mally quiet members to participate. They can take more
time, however, and they lack the nonverbal richness of
face-to-face conversation.
> Describe at least five problem-solving formats, and
give an example of each.
> Pretend that you are advising a newly formed team
whose members will interact with each other online.
What advice from this chapter would you share with
them for developing trust at a distance?
> Imagine that you and five other students have been
asked to engage in a team project to benefit a nonprofit
organization of the team’s choice. What problem-
solving formats would you be most likely to use
while deciding what your project might involve? If we
expanded the project to include the entire class (let’s say
30 people), would your choice of formats change? Why
or why not? How might your communication strategies
differ if members met virtually rather than in person?
OBJECTIVE Describe elements of Dewey’s group
problem-solving model, and apply communication strat-
egies to make the most of each stage.
• Problem-solving groups should begin by identifying the
problem and recognizing the unexpressed needs of indi-
vidual members.
• The next step is to analyze the problem, including iden-
tification of forces both favoring and blocking progress.
Only at this point should the group begin to develop
possible solutions, taking care not to stifle creativity by
evaluating any of them prematurely.
10.3
10.4
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
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CHAPTER 10 Review
dialogue p. 282
emergence stage p. 280
focus group p. 281
force field analysis p. 287
forum p. 281
groupthink p. 293
information overload p. 291
information underload p. 291
nominal group technique p. 287
orientation stage p. 280
panel discussion p. 281
parliamentary procedure p. 281
participative decision making p. 274
problem census p. 281
reinforcement stage p. 280
symposium p. 281
ACTIVITIES
1. When to Use Group Problem Solving Explain which of
the following tasks would best be managed by a group:
a. Collecting and editing a list of films illustrating com-
munication principles.
b. Deciding what the group will eat for lunch at a one-
day meeting.
c. Choosing the topic for a class project.
d. Finding which of six companies had the lowest auto
insurance rates.
e. Designing a survey to measure community attitudes
toward a subsidy for local artists.
2. The Pros and Cons of Cohesiveness Based on the infor-
mation on pages 276–279 and your own experiences,
give examples of groups who meet each of the following
descriptions:
a. A level of cohesiveness so low that it interferes with
productivity
b. An optimal level of cohesiveness
c. A level of cohesiveness so high that it interferes with
productivity
d. For your answers to a and c, offer advice on how the
level of cohesiveness could be adjusted to improve
productivity.
e. Are there ever situations in which maximizing cohesive-
ness is more important than maximizing productivity?
Explain your answer, supporting it with examples.
• During the implementation phase of the solution, the
group should monitor the situation carefully and make
any necessary changes to its plan.
> List and explain the six main components of the struc-
tured problem-solving format described in this chapter.
> Describe a tough challenge faced by a team to which
you have belonged. Construct a force field diagram
(see p. 287) that lists factors that acted in the team’s
favor and factors that made it more difficult to suc-
ceed. Explain what your group did (or could have
done) to maximize the beneficial forces and mini-
mize the blocking ones.
> What decision-making methods would you be most
likely to use when working on a team project to ben-
efit a nonprofit organization of the team’s choice?
Explain how you would take into account factors
such as the size of the team, the expertise of mem-
bers, and the time available to make the decision.
OBJECTIVE Identify common obstacles to ef-
fective group functioning (e.g., information under- and
overload, groupthink), and suggest more effective ways
of communicating.
• Groups function best when they get the information they
need without feeling overloaded.
• Members of effective teams make sure that they partici-
pate equally by encouraging the contributions of quiet
members and by keeping more talkative people on topic.
• Effective team members also guard against groupthink
by minimizing pressure on members to conform for the
sake of harmony or approval.
> Describe three strategies for avoiding groupthink.
> Recall a group in which one or more members talked
too much and others said very little. Describe an
approach you might take to ensure more equal par-
ticipation in the future.
> Teamwork involves some inherent risks. Explain what
strategies you would adopt in a new team to make
sure that (1) members get the right amount of infor-
mation, (2) everyone participates equally, and (3) the
team avoids groupthink.
KEY TERMS
brainstorming p. 287
breakout groups p. 281
cohesiveness p. 277
conflict stage p. 280
consensus p. 289
10.5
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Preparing and Presenting
Your Speech
297
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Getting Started 299
Choosing Your Topic
Defining Your Purpose
Writing a Purpose Statement
Stating Your Thesis
Analyzing the Speaking Situation 301
The Listeners
The Occasion
Gathering Information 304
Online Research
Library Research
Interviewing
Survey Research
Managing Communication Apprehension 307
Facilitative and Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Sources of Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Overcoming Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Presenting Your Speech 311
Choosing an Effective Type of Delivery
Practicing Your Speech
Guidelines for Delivery 311
Visual Aspects of Delivery
Auditory Aspects of Delivery
Sample Speech 315
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
11.1
Describe the importance of topic,
purpose, and thesis in effective
speech preparation.
11.2
Analyze both the audience
and occasion in any speaking
situation.
11.3
Gather information on your
chosen topic from a variety of
sources.
11.4
Assess and manage debilitative
speaking apprehension.
11.5
Make effective choices in the
delivery of your speech.
11
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MALALA YOUSAFZAI has been called “the most famous teenager
in the world.”1 She doesn’t have a hit song or a gig on reality televi-
sion. Rather, she has become famous for speaking out on behalf of
human rights, even when her opponents have tried to kill her.
Malala grew up in Pakistan, where the Taliban, an extremist
militant group, opposes education for girls. The group has gone so
far as to bomb schools and to kill and kidnap children. To date, at
least 838 school bombings in Pakistan are attributed to Taliban mem-
bers and sympathizers,2 which points to the danger of speaking out
against them.
Even as a young girl, Malala was courageous in declaring publicly
that girls should be educated. At age 11, she presented a speech
called “How Dare the Taliban Take Away My Basic Right to Educa-
tion?” before media professionals in Pakistan. “I speak not for myself,
but so those without a voice can be heard,” she has said.3
Malala’s commitment to public speaking has not wavered, even
through very difficult times. When she was 15, Taliban representa-
tives intending to silence her boarded her school bus and shot her in
the head. She was hospitalized for 4 months and underwent numer-
ous surgeries, but she lived, and as soon as she could, she resumed
advocating for public education. At age 17, she became the youngest
person ever to receive a Nobel Peace Prize. Her acceptance speech for
that honor serves as the extended example at the end of this chapter.
Malala chose to speak in
favor of education for girls
because she feels strongly
about the issue. Imagine
a topic that you feel so
strongly about that you
would present it in public,
even if it endangered you.
Now think about these
three questions:
?
What would be your main
objective in speaking about
this topic?
?
What type of speech delivery
would you choose, and why?
?
What information would you
need to gather to support
your ideas?
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In this chapter, we explore the process of creating and delivering an effective speech.
The consequences of your speech may not be dire, as they were for Malala, but
speaking in front of an audience can still be nerve racking. By using some of the
techniques she uses, you can develop the habits and skills to become a confident
speaker. You might be advocating for social change, making a job-related presen-
tation, or speaking on something more personal, such as at a wedding toast or a
eulogy. You might find yourself speaking in favor of a civic-improvement project in
your hometown or trying to persuade members of your club to work toward solving
global problems such as war, religious strife, or environmental threats.
Despite the potential benefits of effective speeches, the prospect of standing
before an audience terrifies many people. In fact, giving a speech seems to be one
of the most anxiety-producing things we can do: When asked to list their common
fears, research subjects mention public speaking more often than they do insects,
heights, accidents, and even death.4
There’s no guarantee that the following chapters will make you love the idea of
giving speeches, but we can promise that the information these chapters contain will
give you the tools to design and deliver remarks that will be clear, interesting, and
effective. And it’s very likely that, as your skill grows, your confidence will too. This
chapter will deal with your first steps in that process, through careful speech planning.
Getting Started
Your first tasks are generally choosing a topic, determining your purpose, and find-
ing information.
Choosing Your Topic
The first question many student speakers face is, “What should I talk about?” When
you need to choose a topic, you should try to pick one that is right for you, your
audience, and the situation. You should try to choose a topic that interests you and
that your audience will care about. Decide on your topic as early as possible. Those
who wait until the last possible moment usually find that they don’t have enough
time to research, outline, and practice their speech.
Defining Your Purpose
No one gives a speech—or expresses any kind of message—without having a reason
to do so. Your first step in focusing your speech is to formulate a clear and precise
statement of that purpose.
Writing a Purpose Statement
Your purpose statement should be expressed in the form of a complete sentence
that describes your specific purpose—exactly what you want your speech to
accomplish. It should stem from your general purpose, which might be to inform,
persuade, or entertain. Beyond that, though, there are three criteria for an effective
purpose statement:
1. A purpose statement should be result oriented. Having a result orientation
means that your purpose is focused on the outcome you want to accomplish
with your audience members. For example, if you were giving an informative
talk on the high cost of college, this would be an inadequate purpose statement:
My purpose is to tell my audience about high college costs.
As that statement is worded, your purpose is “to tell” an audience some-
thing, which suggests that the speech could be successful even if no one
purpose statement A complete sen-
tence that describes precisely what a
speaker wants to accomplish.
specific purpose The precise effect
that the speaker wants to have on an
audience. It is expressed in the form of a
purpose statement.
general purpose One of three basic
ways a speaker seeks to affect an audi-
ence: to entertain, inform, or persuade.
When accepting his 2016 Oscar for
Best Actor, Leonardo DiCaprio tried
to persuade his audience that climate
change is an urgent matter.
What goal would you have pursued in this
situation?
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listened! A result-oriented purpose statement should refer to the response
you want from your audience: It should tell what the audience members will
know or be able to do after listening to your speech.
2. A purpose statement should be specific. To be effective, a purpose state-
ment should be worded specifically, with enough details so that you would
be able to measure or test your audience, after your speech, to see if you had
achieved your purpose. In the example given earlier, simply “knowing about
high college costs” is too vague; you need something more specific, such as:
After listening to my speech, my audience will be able to reduce college costs.
This is an improvement, but it can be made still better by applying a third
criterion:
3. A purpose statement should be realistic. It’s fine to be ambitious, but you
need to design a purpose that has a reasonable chance of success. You can
appreciate the importance of having a realistic goal by looking at some unre-
alistic ones, such as “My purpose is to convince my audience to make federal
budget deficits illegal.” Unless your audience happens to be a joint session of
Congress, it won’t have the power to change U.S. fiscal policy. But any audi-
ence can write its congressional representatives or sign a petition. In your
speech on college costs, it would be impossible for your audience members to
change the entire structure of college financing. So a better purpose statement
for this speech might sound something like this:
After listening to my speech, my audience will be able to list four simple steps to
lower their college expenses.
Consider the following sets of purpose statements:
LESS EFFECTIVE MORE EFFECTIVE
To talk about professional wrestling After listening to my speech, my audi-
(not receiver oriented) ence will understand that kids who
imitate professional wrestlers can be
seriously hurt.
To tell my audience about gun After my speech, the audience will sign
control (not specific) my petition calling for universal
background checks.
You probably won’t include your purpose statement word-for-word in your actual
speech. Rather than being aimed at your listeners, a specific purpose statement usu-
ally is a tool to keep you focused on your goal as you plan your speech.
Stating Your Thesis
After you have defined your purpose, you are ready to start planning what is argu-
ably the most important sentence in your entire speech. The thesis statement tells
your listeners the central idea of your speech. It is the one idea that you want your
audience to remember after it has forgotten everything else you had to say. The
thesis statement for a speech about winning in small claims court might be worded
like this:
Arguing a case on your own in small claims court is a simple, five-step process that
can give you the same results you would achieve with a lawyer.
Unlike your purpose statement, your thesis statement is almost always deliv-
ered directly to your audience. The thesis statement is usually formulated later in
the speech-making process, after you have done some research on your topic. The
progression from topic to purpose to thesis is, therefore, another focusing process,
as you can see in the following example:
ASK YOURSELF
Think of someone
who is an effective
public speaker. What
makes this person so
effective?
?
thesis statement A complete
sentence describing the central idea of
a speech.
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Topic: Organ donation
Specific Purpose: After listening to my speech, audience members will recognize the
importance of organ donation and will sign an organ donor’s card for themselves.
Thesis: Because not enough of us choose to become organ donors, thousands of us
needlessly die every year. You can help prevent this needless dying.
Analyzing the Speaking Situation
There are two components to analyze in any speaking situation: the audience and
the occasion. To be successful, every choice you make in putting together your
speech—your purpose, topic, and all the material you use to develop your speech—
must be appropriate to both of these components.
The Listeners
Audience analysis involves identifying and adapting your remarks to the most
pertinent characteristics of your listeners.
Audience Purpose Just as you have a purpose for speaking, audience members
have a reason for gathering. Sometimes virtually all the members of your audi-
ence will have the same, obvious goal. Expectant parents at a natural childbirth
class are all seeking a healthy delivery, and people attending an investment semi-
nar are looking for ways to increase their net worth.
There are other times, however, when audience purpose can’t be so easily
defined. In some instances, different listeners will have different goals, some
of which might not be apparent to the speaker. Consider a church congrega-
tion, for example. Whereas most members might listen to a sermon with the
hope of applying religious principles to their lives, a few might be interested
in being entertained or in merely appearing pious. In the same way, the lis-
teners in your speech class probably have a variety of motives for attending.
Becoming aware of as many of these motives as possible will help you predict
what will interest them. Observing audience demographics helps you make
that prediction.
Demographics Your audience has a number of characteristics that you may be
able to learn about in advance. These factors, known as demographics, include
cultural differences, age, gender, group membership, number of people, and so
on. Demographic characteristics might affect your speech planning in a number
of ways.5 For example:
• Cultural diversity. Do audience members differ in terms of race, religion,
or national origin? The guideline here might be, Do not exclude or offend
any portion of your audience on the basis of cultural differences. If there is a
dominant cultural group represented, you might decide to speak to it, but
remember that the point is to analyze, not stereotype, your audience. If
you talk down to any segment of your listeners, you have probably stereo-
typed them.
• Gender. Although masculine and feminine stereotypes are declining, it is
still important to think about how gender can affect the way you choose
and approach a topic. Every speech teacher has a horror story about a stu-
dent getting up in front of a class composed primarily, but not entirely, of
men and speaking on a subject such as “Picking Up Babes.”
• Age. Our interests vary and change with our age. These differences may
run relatively deep; our approach to literature, films, finance, health, and
audience analysis A consideration of
characteristics, including the type, goals,
demographics, beliefs, attitudes, and
values of listeners.
demographics Audience character-
istics that can be analyzed statistically,
such as age, gender, education, and
group membership.
cultural idioms
talk down to: speak to in a
condescending way
picking up babes: offensive term for
making the acquaintance of women or
girls with sexual purposes in mind
It’s essential to tailor your remarks to the
audience you will be addressing.
What demographic characteristics do
you recognize in this audience? How does
this group differ from the ones you will be
addressing?
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long-term success may change dramatically over just a few years, perhaps
from graphic novels to serious literature, from punk to classical music, or
from hip-hop to epic poetry.
• Group membership. Groups generally form around shared interests. By
examining the groups to which your audience members belong, you can
potentially surmise their political leanings, religious beliefs, or occupation.
Group membership is often an important consideration in college classes.
Consider the difference between a daytime class and one that meets in the
evening. At many colleges the evening students are generally older and tend
to belong to civic groups, church clubs, and the local chamber of com-
merce. Daytime students are more likely to belong to sororities and frater-
nities, sports clubs, and social action groups.6
• Number of people. Topic appropriateness varies with the size of an audi-
ence. With a small audience you can be less formal and more intimate;
you can, for example, talk more about your feelings and personal experi-
ences. If you gave a speech before 5 people as impersonally as if they were a
standing-room-only crowd in a lecture hall, they would probably find you
stuffy. On the other hand, if you talked to 300 people about your unhappy
childhood, you’d probably make them uncomfortable.
You have to decide which demographics of your audience are important for a
particular speech. For example, when Sneha Polisetti, a student at James Madison
University in Virginia, gave a speech on the loss of Native American culture, she
knew she had to broaden the appeal of her topic beyond the small demographic
referred to in her speech. She adapted to her broader audience this way:
When the Native American cultures that are tied closely to America’s story are lost,
we all lose a part of our identity and history, whether we’re Native Americans or not.7
These five demographic characteristics are important examples, but the list
goes on. Other demographic characteristics that might be important in a college
classroom include the following:
• Educational level
• Economic status
• Hometown
• Year in school
• Major subject
• Ethnic background
A final factor to consider in audience analysis concerns members’ attitudes,
beliefs, and values.
Attitudes, Beliefs, and Values Audience members’ feelings about you, your
subject, and your intentions are central issues in audience analysis. One way
to approach these issues is through a consideration of attitudes, beliefs, and
values.8 Attitudes, beliefs, and values reside in human consciousness like layers
of an onion (see Figure 11-1). Attitudes, which are closest to the surface, reflect
a predisposition to view you or your topic in a favorable or unfavorable way.
Beliefs lie a little deeper and deal with the truth of something. Values are
deeply rooted feelings about a concept’s inherent worth or worthiness. You can
begin to appreciate the usefulness of these concepts by considering an example.
Suppose you were a dentist trying to persuade a group of patients to floss their
teeth more often. Consider how audience analysis would help you design the
most promising approach:
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Adapting to Speaking
Situations
How much adaptation is ethical? How
far would you go to be effective with an
audience? Try the following exercise with
your classmates.
1. Prepare, in advance, three index cards:
one with a possible topic for a speech, one
with a possible audience, and one with a
possible occasion.
2. Form groups of four members each.
Mark the back of each card with “A” for
“audience,” “T” for “topic,” or “O” for
“occasion,” and turn the cards face down.
3. Take one card from each of the other
members.
4. Turn the cards over. For each set,
decide which characteristics of the
audience, topic, and occasion would
most likely affect the way the speech was
developed.
5. Discuss the adaptation that would be
necessary in each situation and the role
ethics would play in determining how far
you would go.
attitude The predisposition to respond
to an idea, person, or thing favorably or
unfavorably.
belief An underlying conviction about
the truth of an idea, often based on cul-
tural training.
value A deeply rooted belief about a
concept’s inherent worth.
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Attitudes. How do your listeners feel about the importance of dental hygiene?
If they recognize its importance, you can proceed confidently, knowing they’ll
probably want to hear what you have to say. On the other hand, if they are
vaguely disgusted by even thinking about the topic, you will need to begin by
making them want to listen.
Beliefs. Does your audience accept the relationship between regular flossing
and dental health? Or do you need to inform them about the consequences of
neglecting this daily ritual?
Values. Which underlying values matter most to your listeners: Health? Attrac-
tiveness? Career success? The approach you’ll use will depend on the answer
to these questions.
Experts in audience analysis, such as professional speechwriters, often try to con-
centrate on values. As one team of researchers pointed out, “values have the advan-
tage of being comparatively small in number, and owing to their abstract nature,
are more likely to be shared by large numbers of people.”9 Stable American values
include the ideas of good citizenship, a strong work ethic, tolerance of differing
political views, individualism, and justice for all. Brianna Mahoney, a student at the
University of Florida, appealed to her audience’s values when she wanted to make
the point that anti-homelessness laws were inhumane:
Extreme poverty in the United States is a shockingly overlooked issue, making
the homeless one of our most vulnerable populations. Recent legislation has
worsened this by denying the homeless the ability to help themselves. People
experiencing homelessness exist in every community; it’s time to stop accusing
them of becoming a burden when they are already struggling to carry their own.10
Mahoney pointed out that discriminating against homeless people was unfair and
impractical; her analysis had suggested that the value of fairness would be impor-
tant to this audience. She also surmised that they would be offended by unfairness
combined with impracticality, as in this piece of evidence she used:
Ninety-year-old Arnold Abbott made international headlines when he was
arrested in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and faced 60 days in prison for feeding hot
meals to people who were homeless. When police arrived they grabbed trays of
food and shoved them into the trash, while lines of hungry people were forced
to just look on.11
You can often make an inference about audience members’ attitudes
by recognizing the beliefs and values they are likely to hold. In this
example, Brianna knew that her audience, made up mostly of idealis-
tic college students and professors, would dislike the idea of unfair and
impractical discrimination.
The analysis of hidden psychological states can be extremely help-
ful in audience analysis. For example, a religious group might hold the
value of “obeying God’s word.” For some fundamentalists this might
lead to the belief, based on their religious training, that women are not
meant to perform the same functions in society as men. This, in turn,
might lead to the attitude that women ought not to pursue careers as
firefighters, police officers, or construction workers.
You can also make a judgment about one attitude your audience
members hold based on your knowledge of other attitudes they hold. If
your audience is made up of undergraduates who have a positive attitude
toward liberation movements, it is a good bet they also have a positive
attitude toward civil rights and ecology. If they have a negative attitude
ASK YOURSELF
How might your own
attitudes, beliefs, and
values affect how you
react to a speech?
?
Values
Beliefs
Attitudes
FIGURE 11-1 Structure of Attitudes, Beliefs, and Values
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toward collegiate sports, they may also have a negative attitude
toward fraternities and sororities. This should suggest not only some
appropriate topics for each audience but also ways that those topics
could be developed.
The Occasion
The second phase in analyzing a speaking situation focuses on the
occasion. The occasion of a speech is determined by the circum-
stances surrounding it. Three of these circumstances are time, place,
and audience expectations.
Time Your speech occupies an interval of time that is sur-
rounded by other events. For example, other speeches might be
presented before or after yours, or comments might be made that
set a certain tone or mood. In the sample speech at the end of this
chapter, Malala talks about a speech that occurred before hers.
External events such as elections, the start of a new semester, or
even the weather can color the occasion in one way or another.
The date on which you give your speech might have some histori-
cal significance. If that historical significance relates in some way
to your topic, you can use it to help build audience interest.
The time available for your speech is also an essential consider-
ation. You should choose a topic that is broad enough to say something
worthwhile but brief enough to fit your limits. “Wealth,” for example,
might be an inherently interesting topic to some college students, but it would be
difficult to cover such a broad topic in a 10-minute speech and still say anything sig-
nificant. However, a topic like “The problem of income inequality in America today”
could conceivably be covered in 10 minutes in enough depth to make it worthwhile.
All speeches have limits, whether or not they are explicitly stated. If you are invited
to say a few words, and you present a few volumes, you might not be invited back.
Place Your speech also occupies a physical space. The beauty or squalor of your
surroundings and the noise or stuffiness of the room should all be taken into con-
sideration. These physical surroundings can be referred to in your speech if appro-
priate. If you were talking about world poverty, for example, you could compare
your surroundings to those that might be found in a poorer country.
Audience Expectations Finally, your speech is surrounded by audience expec-
tations. A speech presented in a college class, or a TED Talk such as the one that
appears at the end of Chapter 13, is usually expected to reflect a high level of
thought and intelligence. This doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be boring
or humorless; wit and humor are, after all, indicative of intelligence. But it does
mean that you have to put a little more effort into your presentation than if you
were discussing the same subject with friends over coffee.
When you are considering the occasion of your speech, it pays to remember
that every occasion is unique. Although there are obvious differences among the
occasions of a college class, a church sermon, and a bachelor party “roast,” there
are also many subtle differences that will apply only to the circumstances of each
unique event. In the sample speech at the end of this chapter, Malala recognized
several unique aspects of the occasion of her speech.
Gathering Information
This discussion about planning a speech purpose and analyzing the speech situa-
tion makes it apparent that it takes time, interest, and knowledge to develop a topic
cultural idiom
bachelor party: a men-only gathering
of the groom and his friends just prior
to his wedding
It can be fun to go for a quick laugh when
making a speech. But keep in mind the
impression that will linger.
Have you ever made remarks
inappropriate for the occasion? What can
you do to avoid this kind of mistake in the
future?
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@WORK
Sample Analysis of a Speaking Situation
Audience: Employees in the Production Department of
my company
Situation: Management has realized that our company is
at risk of being involved in a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Purpose: I want audience members to view sexual harass-
ment as a legitimate concern and to avoid communicating in
a way that might be perceived as harassing.
Analysis: This is a tricky situation for me: First of all, this is
a captive audience, forced to listen to talk on an uncomfort-
able subject. In addition, I am younger than anyone in my
audience, and I’m a woman. In fact, I’ve been the target of
some of the behavior I’m being asked to discourage. There’s
a strong risk that the men who are the primary target of my
remarks won’t take me seriously, so I have to change their
attitude about the subject and me.
I know that scolding and threatening would be a big mis-
take. Even if the men involved didn’t object out loud, they
would probably dismiss my stance as “politically correct” and
out of touch with the way the real world operates.
To avoid this sort of negative reaction, I need to separate
myself from the law that they dislike, instead taking the posi-
tion of sharing with them: “Here’s what I’ve learned about
how it works.” I might even give them a few examples of
harassment suits that I think were frivolous, so we can agree
that some people are much too sensitive. That common
ground will help put us on the same side. Then I can empha-
size that they don’t have to agree with the law to follow it.
I’ll tell stories of people like them who suffered as targets of
harassment suits, pointing out that even an unfair accusation
of harassment could make all of our lives miserable. My basic
argument will be that potentially harassing behavior “isn’t
worth it.”
I also hope to use my age and gender as advantages. A
couple of the men have told me that they have daughters
my age. I could ask the group to imagine how they would
feel if their daughters were the targets of suggestive com-
ments and sexual jokes. I’ll tell them that I know how angry
and protective my dad would feel, and I’ll tell them that I
know that, as good fathers, they’d feel the same way. I could
also ask them to think about how they would feel if their
wives, sisters, or mothers were the targets of jokes that made
those women feel uncomfortable.
I don’t think any speech will totally reverse attitudes that
were built over these men’s lifetimes, but I do think that get-
ting on their side will be much more effective than labeling
them as insensitive sexist pigs and threatening them with
lawsuits.
well. Setting aside a block of time to reflect on your own ideas is essential. However,
you will also need to gather information from outside sources.
By this time you are probably familiar with both web searches and library
research as forms of gathering information. Sometimes, however, speakers over-
look interviewing, personal observation, and survey research as equally effective
methods of gathering information. Let’s review all these methods here and per-
haps provide a new perspective on one or more of them.
Online Research
The ease of using search engines like Google has made them the popular favorite
for speech research. But students are sometimes so grateful to have found a website
dealing with their topic that they forget to evaluate it. Like any other written sources
you would use, websites should be accurate and rational. Beyond that, there are
four specific criteria that you can use to evaluate the quality of a website. They are
listed in the checklist on page 306.
In the case of some special search engines, like Google Scholar, the crite-
ria of credibility, objectivity, and currency will be practically guaranteed. How-
ever, these guidelines are especially important when accessing information
from Wikipedia, the popular online encyclopedia. Because anyone can edit a
ASK YOURSELF
Why is effective
research so impor-
tant to a college-level
audience?
?
database A computerized collection of informa-
tion that can be searched in a variety of ways to
locate information that the user is seeking.
survey research Information gathering in which
the responses of a population sample are collected
to disclose information about the larger group.
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Wikipedia article at any time, many professors forbid the use of it as
a primary resource. Others allow Wikipedia to be used for general
information and inspiration. Most will allow its use when articles
have references to external sources (whether online or not) and the
student reads the references and checks whether they really do sup-
port what the article says.
Library experts help you make sense of and determine the validity
of the information you find, whether online or in print. And a library
can be a great environment for concentration, a rare quiet place with
minimal distractions.
Library Research
Libraries, like people, tend to be unique. Although many of your
library’s resources will be available online through your school’s
website, it can be extremely rewarding to get to know your library in
person, to see what kind of special collections and services it offers, and
just to find out where everything is. A few resources are common to
most libraries, including the library catalog, reference works, periodi-
cals, nonprint materials, and databases.
Databases, which can be particularly useful, are computerized
collections of highly credible information from a wide variety of
sources. One popular collection of databases is LexisNexis, which
contains millions of articles from news services, magazines, schol-
arly journals, conference papers, books, law journals, and other
sources. Other popular databases include ProQuest, Factiva, and
Academic Search Premier, and there are dozens of specialized
databases, such as Communication and Mass Media Complete.
Database searches are slightly different from web searches; they
generally don’t respond well to long strings of terms or searches
worded as questions. With databases it is best to use one or two
key terms with a connector such as AND, OR, or NOT.12 Once you
learn this technique and a few other rules (perhaps with a librar-
ian’s help), you will be able to locate dozens of articles on your topic
in just a few minutes.
Interviewing
An information-gathering interview allows you to view your topic
from an expert’s perspective, to take advantage of that expert’s experi-
ence, research, and thought. You can also use an interview to stimulate
your own thinking. Often the interview will save you hours of Internet
or library research and allow you to present ideas that you could not
have uncovered any other way. And because an interview is an interac-
tion with an expert, many ideas that otherwise might be unclear can
become more understandable through questions and answers. Inter-
views can be conducted face-to-face, by telephone, or by email. If you
do use an interview for research, you might want to read the section on
that type of interview in the appendix.
Survey Research
One advantage of survey research—the distribution of questionnaires
for people to respond to—is that it can give you up-to-date answers
concerning “the way things are” for a specific audience. For example, if
you handed out questionnaires a week or so before presenting a speech
CHECKLIST
Evaluating Websites
Consider the following four criteria when
choosing a website for online research:
Credibility. Anyone can establish a website,
so it is important to evaluate where your
information is coming from. Who wrote the
page? Are their names and contact infor-
mation listed? Anonymous sources should
not be used. If the sources are listed, are
their credentials listed? What institution
publishes the document? Remember that
although an attractive site design doesn’t
guarantee high-quality information, obvious
mistakes such as misspellings are clear signs
of low quality.
Objectivity. What opinions (if any) does the
site express? Are these opinions backed up
with facts, or are they purely based on infer-
ences? Is the site trying to sell something,
including a candidate or a political idea?
Currency. When was the page produced?
When was it updated? Are the links work-
ing? If any of the links are dead, the informa-
tion might not be current.
Functionality. Is the site easy to use, so
you can locate information you are look-
ing for? Are options to return to the home
page and tops of pages provided? Is the site
searchable?
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on the possible dangers of body piercing, you could present information like this
in your speech:
According to a survey I conducted last week, 90 percent of the students in this
class believe that body piercing is basically safe. Only 10 percent are familiar
with the scarring and injury that can result from this practice. Two of you, in
fact, have experienced serious infections from body piercing: one from a pierced
tongue and one from a simple pierced ear.
That statement would be of immediate interest to your audience members
because they were the ones who were surveyed. Another advantage of conducting
your own survey is that it is one of the best ways to find out about your audience: It is,
in fact, the best way to collect the demographic data mentioned earlier. The one dis-
advantage of conducting your own survey is that, if it is used as evidence, it might not
have as much credibility as published evidence found in the library. But the advan-
tages seem to outweigh the disadvantages of survey research in public speaking.
No matter how you gather your information, remember that it is the qual-
ity rather than the quantity of the research that is most important. The key is to
determine carefully what type of research will answer the questions you need to
have answered. Sometimes only one type of research will be necessary; at other
times every type mentioned here will have to be used. Generally, you will collect
far more information than you’ll use in your speech, but the winnowing process
will ensure that the research you do use is of high quality.
Along with improving the quality of what you say, effective research will also
minimize the anxiety of actually giving a speech. Let’s take a close look at that
form of anxiety.
Managing Communication
Apprehension
The terror that strikes the hearts of so many beginning speakers is commonly
known as stage fright or speech anxiety and is called communication apprehension by
communication scholars.13 Whatever term you choose, the important point to real-
ize is that fear about speaking can be managed in a way that works for you rather
than against you.
Facilitative and Debilitative Communication
Apprehension
Although communication apprehension is a very real problem for many speakers,
it can be overcome. The first step in feeling less apprehensive about speaking is to
realize that a certain amount of nervousness is not only natural but also facilita-
tive. That is, facilitative communication apprehension is a factor that can help
improve your performance. Just as totally relaxed actors or musicians aren’t likely
to perform at the top of their potential, speakers think more rapidly and express
themselves more energetically when their level of tension is moderate.
By contrast, debilitative communication apprehension inhibits effective
self-expression. Intense fear causes trouble in two ways. First, the strong emotion
keeps you from thinking clearly.14 This has been shown to be a problem even in
the preparation process: Students who are highly anxious about giving a speech
will find the preliminary steps, including research and organization, to be more
difficult.15 Second, intense fear leads to an urge to do something, anything, to
make the problem go away. This urge to escape often causes a speaker to speed up
facilitative communication appre-
hension A moderate level of anxiety
about speaking before an audience
that helps improve the speaker’s
performance.
debilitative communication appre-
hension An intense level of anxiety
about speaking before an audience,
resulting in poor performance.
Online and library research are essential
to speech preparation. In addition,
talking to credible sources can provide
information that makes a speech more
interesting and compelling.
Who can you interview to enrich the
content of your speech?
irrational thinking Beliefs that
have no basis in reality or logic; one
source of debilitative communication
apprehension.
fallacy of catastrophic failure The
irrational belief that the worst possible
outcome will probably occur.
fallacy of perfection The irrational
belief that a worthwhile communicator
should be able to handle every situation
with complete confidence and skill.
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delivery, which results in a rapid, almost machine-gun style.
As you can imagine, this boost in speaking rate leads to even
more mistakes, which only add to the speaker’s anxiety. Thus,
a relatively small amount of nervousness can begin to feed on
itself until it grows into a serious problem.
Sources of Debilitative Communication
Apprehension
Before we describe how to manage debilitative communication
apprehension, let’s consider why people are afflicted with the
problem in the first place.16
Previous Negative Experience People often feel apprehensive
about speech giving because of unpleasant past experiences.
Most of us are uncomfortable doing anything in public, espe-
cially if it is a form of performance in which our talents and
abilities are being evaluated. An unpleasant experience in one
type of performance can cause you to expect that a future similar situation will
also be unpleasant.17 These expectations can be realized through the self-fulfilling
prophecies discussed in Chapter 3. A traumatic failure at an earlier speech and low
self-esteem from critical parents during childhood are common examples of expe-
riences that can cause later communication apprehension.
You might object to the idea that past experiences cause communication
apprehension. After all, not everyone who has bungled a speech or had critical
parents is debilitated in the future. To understand why some people are affected
more strongly than others by past experiences, we need to consider another cause
of communication apprehension.
Irrational Thinking Cognitive psychologists argue that it is not events that cause
people to feel nervous but rather the beliefs they have about those events. Certain
irrational beliefs leave people feeling unnecessarily apprehensive. Psychologist
Albert Ellis lists several such beliefs, or examples of irrational thinking, which
we will call “fallacies” because of their illogical nature.18
• Catastrophic failure. People who succumb to the fallacy of catastrophic
failure operate on the assumption that if something bad can happen, it
probably will. Their thoughts before a speech resemble these:
“As soon as I stand up to speak, I’ll forget everything I wanted to say.”
“Everyone will think my ideas are stupid.”
“Somebody will probably laugh at me.”
Although it is naive to imagine that all your speeches will be totally suc-
cessful, it is equally naive to assume they will all fail miserably. One way to
escape the fallacy of catastrophic failure is to take a more realistic look at the
situation. Would your audience members really hoot you off the stage? Will
they really think your ideas are stupid? Even if you did forget your remarks
for a moment, would the results be a genuine disaster? It helps to remember
that nervousness is more apparent to the speaker than to the audience.19
Beginning public speakers, when congratulated for their poise during a
speech, are apt to say, “Are you kidding? I was dying up there.”
• Perfection. Speakers who succumb to the fallacy of perfection expect
themselves to behave flawlessly. Whereas such a standard of perfection
might serve as a target and a source of inspiration (like the desire to make a
hole in one while golfing), it is totally unrealistic to expect that you will write
cultural idiom
hole in one: hitting the golf ball in
the hole with one swing of the club; a
perfect shot
Even a flamboyant star like Rihanna
can experience communication
apprehension. She has confessed that she
gets nervous and nauseous before live
performances. The lesson is that anxiety
does not necessarily keep you from
performing well.
How can you apply the information in this
chapter to manage—and benefit from—
your natural apprehension?
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and deliver a perfect speech, especially as a beginner. It helps to remember
that audiences don’t expect you to be perfect.
• Approval. The mistaken belief called the fallacy of approval is based on
the idea that it is vital—not just desirable—to gain the approval of every-
one in the audience. It is rare that even the best speakers please everyone,
especially on topics that are at all controversial. To paraphrase Abraham
Lincoln, you can’t please all the people all the time, and it is irrational to
expect you will.
• Overgeneralization. The fallacy of overgeneralization might also be
labeled the fallacy of exaggeration, because it occurs when a person blows
one experience out of proportion. Consider these examples:
“I’m so stupid! I mispronounced that word.”
“I completely blew it—I forgot one of my supporting points.”
“My hands were shaking. The audience must have thought I was crazy.”
A second type of exaggeration occurs when a speaker treats occasional lapses
as if they were the rule rather than the exception. This sort of mistake usually
involves extreme labels, such as “always” or “never.”
“I always forget what I want to say.”
“I can never come up with a good topic.”
“I can’t do anything right.”
Overcoming Debilitative Communication
Apprehension
There are five strategies that can help you manage debilitative communication
apprehension:
• Use nervousness to your advantage. Paralyzing fear is obviously a prob-
lem, but a little nervousness can actually help you deliver a successful
speech. Being completely calm can take away the passion that is one ele-
ment of a good speech. Use the strategies below to control your anxiety, but
don’t try to completely eliminate it.
• Understand the difference between rational and irrational fears.
Some fears about speaking are rational. For example, you ought to be wor-
ried if you haven’t properly prepared for your speech. But fears based on the
fallacies you just read about aren’t constructive. It’s not realistic to expect
that you’ll deliver a perfect speech, and it’s not rational to indulge in cata-
strophic fantasies about what might go wrong.
• Maintain a receiver orientation. Paying too much attention to your own
feelings—even when you’re feeling good about yourself—will take energy
away from communicating with your listeners. Concentrate on your audi-
ence members rather than on yourself. Focus your energy on keeping them
interested, and on making sure they understand you.
• Keep a positive attitude. Build and maintain a positive attitude toward
your audience, your speech, and yourself as a speaker. Some communication
consultants suggest that public speakers should concentrate on three state-
ments immediately before speaking. The three statements are as follows:
I’m glad I have the chance to talk about this topic.
I know what I’m talking about.
I care about my audience.
fallacy of approval The irrational
belief that it is vital to win the approval
of virtually every person a communica-
tor deals with.
fallacy of overgeneralization Irra-
tional beliefs in which (1) conclusions
(usually negative) are based on limited
evidence or (2) communicators exagger-
ate their shortcomings.
cultural idiom
blows . . . out of proportion:
exaggerates
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Speech Anxiety Symptoms
To what degree do you experience the following anxiety symptoms while
speaking?
1. Sweating
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
2. Rapid breathing
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
3. Difficulty catching your breath
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
4. Rapid heartbeat
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
Evaluating Your Responses
Give yourself one point for every “a,”
two points for every “b,” and three
points for every “c.” If your score is:
6 to 9 You have nerves of steel. You’re
probably a natural public speaker, but
you can always improve.
10 to 13 You are the typical public
speaker. Practice the strategies discussed
in this chapter to improve your skills.
14 to 18 You tend to have significant
apprehension about public speaking.
You need to consider each strategy in
this chapter carefully. Although you
will benefit from the tips provided, you
should keep in mind that some of the
greatest speakers of all time have consid-
ered themselves highly anxious.
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
5. Restless energy
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
6. Forgetting what you wanted to say
a. Nonexistent
b. Moderate
c. Severe
Repeating these statements (until you believe them) can help you maintain
a positive attitude.
Another technique for building a positive attitude is known as
visualization.20 This technique has been used successfully with athletes. It
requires you to use your imagination to visualize the successful completion
of your speech. Visualization can help make the self-fulfilling prophecy
discussed in Chapter 3 work in your favor.
• Be prepared! Preparation is the most important key to controlling com-
munication apprehension. You can feel confident if you know from practice
that your remarks are well organized and supported and your delivery is
smooth. Researchers have determined that the highest level of communica-
tion apprehension occurs just before speaking, the second highest level at
the time the assignment is announced and explained, and the lowest level
during the time you spend preparing your speech.21 You should take advan-
tage of this relatively low-stress time to work through the problems that
would tend to make you nervous during the actual speech. For example, if
your anxiety is based on a fear of forgetting what you are going to say, make
sure that your note cards are complete and effective, and that you have prac-
ticed your speech thoroughly (we’ll go into speech practice in more detail in
a moment). If, on the other hand, your great fear is “sounding stupid,” then
getting started early with lots of research and advance thinking is the key to
relieving your communication apprehension.
visualization A technique for
rehearsal that involves the successful
completion of a speech.
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Presenting Your Speech
Once you have done all the planning and analysis that precedes
speechmaking, you can prepare for your actual presentation. Your
tasks at this point include choosing an effective type of delivery, for-
mulating a plan for practicing your speech, and thinking carefully
about the visual and auditory choices you will make.
Choosing an Effective Type of Delivery
There are four basic types of delivery: extemporaneous, impromptu,
manuscript, and memorized. Each type creates a different impression
and is appropriate under different conditions. Any speech may incor-
porate more than one of these types of delivery. For purposes of discus-
sion, however, it is best to consider them separately.
1. An extemporaneous speech is planned in advance but pre-
sented in a direct, spontaneous manner. Extemporaneous speeches are con-
versational in tone, which means that they give the audience members the
impression that you are talking to them, directly and honestly. Extempora-
neous speaking is the most common type of delivery in both the classroom
and the “outside” world.
2. An impromptu speech is given off the top of one’s head, without prepara-
tion. This type of speech is spontaneous by definition, but it is a delivery
style that is necessary for informal talks, group discussions, and comments
on others’ speeches. It is also a highly effective training aid that teaches you
to think on your feet and to organize your thoughts quickly.
3. Manuscript speeches are read word for word from a prepared text. They are
necessary when you are speaking for the record, such as at legal proceedings
or when presenting scientific findings. The greatest disadvantage of a manu-
script speech is, of course, the lack of spontaneity.
4. Memorized speeches—those learned by heart—are the most difficult and
often the least effective. They often seem excessively formal. However, like
manuscript speeches, they may be necessary on special occasions. They are
used in oratory contests and as training devices for memory.
One guideline holds for each type of speech: Practice.
Practicing Your Speech
A smooth and natural delivery is the result of extensive practice. Get to know your
material until you feel comfortable with your presentation. One way to do that is
to go through some or all of the steps listed in the checklist on page 312. In each of
these steps, critique your speech according to the guidelines that follow.
Guidelines for Delivery
Let’s examine some nonverbal aspects of presenting a speech. As you read in Chap-
ter 6, nonverbal behavior can change, or even contradict, the meaning of the words
a speaker utters. If audience members want to interpret how you feel about some-
thing, they are likely to trust your nonverbal communication more than the words
you speak. If you tell them, “It’s great to be here today,” but you stand before them
slouched over with your hands in your pockets and an expression on your face
like you’re about to be shot, they are likely to discount what you say. This might
cause your audience members to react negatively to your speech, and their negative
extemporaneous speech A speech
that is planned in advance but presented
in a direct, conversational manner.
impromptu speech A speech given
“off the top of one’s head,” without
preparation.
manuscript speech A speech that is
read word for word from a prepared text.
memorized speech A speech learned
and delivered by rote without a written
text.
cultural idioms
off the top of one’s head: with little
time to plan or think about
for the record: word-for-word
documentation
The best type of speech delivery depends
on the situation.
What styles are most appropriate in
the situations where you might deliver
remarks?
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reaction might make you even more nervous. This cycle of speaker and
audience reinforcing each other’s feelings can work for you, though,
if you approach a subject with genuine enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is
shown through both the visual and auditory aspects of your delivery.
Visual Aspects of Delivery
Visual aspects of delivery include appearance, movement, posture,
facial expression, and eye contact.
Appearance This is not a presentation variable as much as a prep-
aration variable. Some communication consultants suggest new
clothes, new glasses, and new hairstyles for their clients. In case you
consider any of these, be forewarned that you should be attractive to
your audience but not flashy. Research suggests that audiences like
speakers who are similar to them, but they prefer the similarity to be
shown conservatively.24 Speakers, it seems, are perceived to be more
credible when they look businesslike. Part of looking businesslike, of
course, is looking like you took care in the preparation of your ward-
robe and appearance.
Movement The way you walk to the front of your audience will
express your confidence and enthusiasm. And after you begin speak-
ing, nervous energy can cause your body to shake and twitch, and
that can be distressing both to you and to your audience. One way to
control involuntary movement is to move voluntarily when you feel
the need to move. Don’t feel that you have to stand in one spot or that
all your gestures need to be carefully planned. Simply get involved
in your message, and let your involvement create the motivation for
your movement. That way, when you move, you will emphasize what
you are saying in the same way you would emphasize it if you were
talking to a group of friends.
Movement can also help you maintain contact with all members
of your audience. Those closest to you will feel the greatest contact.
This creates what is known as the “action zone” in the typical class-
room, within the area of the front and center of the room. Movement
enables you to extend this action zone, to include in it people who
would otherwise remain uninvolved. Without overdoing it, you should
feel free to move toward, away from, or from side to side in front of
your audience.
Remember: Move with the understanding that it will add to the
meaning of the words you use. It is difficult to bang your fist on a
podium or take a step without conveying emphasis. Make the emphasis
natural by allowing your message to create your motivation to move.
Posture Generally speaking, good posture means standing with
your spine relatively straight, your shoulders relatively squared off,
and your feet angled out to keep your body from falling over side-
ways. In other words, rather than standing at military attention, you
should be comfortably erect.
Good posture can help you control nervousness by allowing
your breathing apparatus to work properly; when your brain receives
enough oxygen, it’s easier for you to think clearly. Good posture also
increases your audience contact because the audience members will
feel that you are interested enough in them to stand formally, yet
relaxed enough to be at ease with them.
CHECKLIST
Practicing Your
Presentation
Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to prac-
tice. Here are a few suggestions.
First, present the speech to yourself. Talk
through the entire speech, including your
examples and forms of support. Don’t skip
parts by using placeholders. Make sure you
have a clear plan for presenting your statis-
tics and explanations.
Record the speech on your phone, and listen
to it. Because we are sometimes surprised
at what we sound like and how we appear,
video recording has been shown to be an
especially effective tool for rehearsals.22
Present the speech in front of a small group
of friends or relatives.23
Present the speech to at least one listener
in the room where you will present the final
speech (or, if that room is not available, a
similar room).
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Facial Expression The expression on your face can be more meaningful to an
audience than the words you say. Try it yourself with a mirror. Say, “You’re a ter-
rific audience,” for example, with a smirk, with a warm smile, with a deadpan
expression, and then with a scowl. It just doesn’t mean the same thing. But don’t
try to fake it. Like your movement, your facial expressions will reflect your genu-
ine involvement with your message.
Eye Contact Eye contact is perhaps the most important nonverbal facet of deliv-
ery. Eye contact not only increases your direct contact with your audience but also
can be used to help you control your nervousness. Direct eye contact is a form of
reality testing. The most frightening aspect of speaking is the unknown. How will
the audience react? What will it think? Direct eye contact allows you to test your
perception of your audience as you speak. Usually, especially in a college class,
you will find that your audience is more “with” you than you think. By delib-
erately establishing contact with any apparently bored audience members, you
might find that they are interested, they just aren’t showing that interest because
they don’t think anyone is looking.
To maintain eye contact, you could try to meet the eyes of each member of
your audience squarely at least once during any given presentation. After you have
made definite eye contact, move on to another audience member. You can learn
to do this quickly, so you can visually latch on to every member of a good-sized
class in a relatively short time.
The characteristics of appearance, movement, posture, facial expression, and eye
contact are visual, nonverbal facets of delivery. Now consider the auditory nonverbal
messages that you might send during a presentation.
Auditory Aspects of Delivery
As you read in Chapter 6, your paralanguage—the way you use your voice—says a
good deal about you, especially about your sincerity and enthusiasm. In addition,
using your voice well can help you control your nervousness. It’s another cycle:
Controlling your vocal characteristics will decrease your nervousness, which will
enable you to control your voice even more. But this cycle can also work in the
opposite direction. If your voice is out of control, your nerves will probably be in
the same state. Controlling your voice is mostly a matter of recognizing and using
appropriate volume, rate, pitch, and articulation.
Volume The loudness of your voice is determined by the amount of air you
push past the vocal folds in your throat. The key to controlling volume, then, is
controlling the amount of air you use. The key to determining the right volume
is audience contact. Your delivery should be loud enough so that your audience
members can hear everything you say but not so loud that they feel you are talk-
ing to someone in the next room. Too much volume is seldom the problem for
beginning speakers. Usually they either are not loud enough or have a tendency
to fade off at the end of a thought. Sometimes, when they lose faith in an idea in
midsentence, they compromise by mumbling the end of the sentence so that it
isn’t quite coherent.
Rate There is a range of personal differences in speaking speed, or rate. Daniel
Webster, for example, is said to have spoken at around 90 words per minute,
whereas one actor who is known for his fast-talking commercials speaks at about
250. Normal speaking speed, however, is between 120 and 150 words per minute.
If you talk much more slowly than that, you may tend to lull your audience to
sleep. Faster speaking rates are stereotypically associated with speaker compe-
tence,25 but if you speak too rapidly, you will tend to be unintelligible. Once again,
your involvement in your message is the key to achieving an effective rate.
rate The speed at which a speaker
utters words.
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Pitch The highness or lowness of your voice—pitch—is controlled by the fre-
quency at which your vocal folds vibrate as you push air through them. Because
taut vocal folds vibrate at a greater frequency, pitch is influenced by muscular
tension. This explains why nervous speakers have a tendency occasionally to
“squeak,” whereas relaxed speakers seem to be more in control. Pitch will tend
to follow rate and volume. As you speed up or become louder, your pitch will
have a tendency to rise. If your range in pitch is too narrow, your voice will have
a singsong quality. If it is too wide, you may sound overly dramatic. You should
control your pitch so that your listeners believe you are talking with them rather
than performing in front of them. Once again, your involvement in your message
should take care of this naturally for you.
When considering volume, rate, and pitch, keep emphasis in mind. Remem-
ber that a change in volume, pitch, or rate will result in emphasis. If you pause or
speed up, your rate will suggest emphasis. Words you whisper or scream will be
emphasized by their volume.
Articulation The final auditory nonverbal behavior, articulation, is perhaps the
most important. For our purposes here, articulation means pronouncing all the
parts of all the necessary words and nothing else.
It is not our purpose to condemn regional or ethnic dialects within this dis-
cussion. It is true that a considerable amount of research suggests that regional
dialects can cause negative impressions,26 but our purpose here is to suggest care-
ful, not standardized, articulation. Incorrect articulation is usually nothing more
than careless articulation. It is caused by (1) leaving off parts of words (deletion),
(2) replacing parts of words (substitution), (3) adding parts to words (addition), or
(4) overlapping two or more words (slurring).
Deletion The most common mistake in articulation is deletion, or leaving off
part of a word. As you are thinking the complete word, it is often difficult to rec-
ognize that you are saying only part of it. The most common deletions occur at
the ends of words, especially -ing words. Going, doing, and stopping become goin’,
doin’, and stoppin’. Parts of words can be left off in the middle, too, as in terr’iss for
terrorist, Innernet for Internet, and asst for asked.
Substitution Substitution takes place when you replace part of a word with an
incorrect sound. The ending -th is often replaced at the end of a word with a single t,
as when with becomes wit. The th- sound is also a problem at the beginning of
words, as this, that, and those have a tendency to become dis, dat, and dose. (This
tendency is especially prevalent in many parts of the northeastern United States.)
Addition The articulation problem of addition is caused by adding extra parts
to words, such as incentative instead of incentive, athalete instead of athlete, and ori-
entated instead of oriented. Sometimes this type of addition is caused by incorrect
word choice, as when irregardless is used for regardless.
Another type of addition is the use of “tag questions,” such as you know? or you
see? or right? at the end of sentences. To have every other sentence punctuated with
one of these barely audible superfluous phrases can be annoying.
Probably the worst type of addition, or at least the most common, is the use
of uh and anda between words. Anda is often stuck between two words when and
isn’t even needed. If you find yourself doing that, you might want just to pause or
swallow instead.27
Slurring This is caused by trying to say two or more words at once—or at least
overlapping the end of one word with the beginning of the next. Word pairs
ending with of are the worst offenders in this category. Sort of becomes sorta, kind
of becomes kinda, and because of becomes becausa. Word combinations ending with
pitch The highness or lowness of one’s
voice.
articulation The process of pronounc-
ing all the necessary parts of a word.
deletion An articulation error that
involves leaving off parts of words.
substitution The articulation error
that involves replacing part of a word
with an incorrect sound.
addition The articulation error that
involves adding extra parts to words.
slurring The articulation error that
involves overlapping the end of one
word with the beginning of the next.
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UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
A Compendium of American Dialects
The following is a short glossary of examples of regionalized
pronunciation (with apologies to all residents who find them
exaggerated).
Appalachian Hill Country
Bile To bring water to 212 degrees
Cowcumber A vittle you make pickles out of
Hern Not his’n
Tard Exhausted
Bawlamerese (Spoken around Baltimore)
Arn What you do with an arnin board
Blow The opposite of above
Pleece Two or more po-leece
Torst Tourist
Boston
Back The outer covering of a tree trunk
Had licka Hard liquor
Moa The opposite of less
Pahk To leave your car somewhere, as in, “Pahk the cah in
Haavaad Yahd”
NooYorkese
Huh The opposite of him
Mel pew? May I help you?
Reg you la caw fee Coffee with milk and sugar
Pock A place with trees and muggers
Philadelphia
Fluffya The name of the city
Mayan The opposite of yours
Pork A wooded recreational area
Tail What you use to dry off with after a shower
Southern
Abode A plank of wood
Bidness Such as, “Mistah Cottah’s paynut bidness”
Shurf A local law enforcement officer
Watt The color of the Watt House in Wushinton
Texas
Ah stay Iced tea
Bayer A beverage made from hops
Pars A town in Texas. Also, the capital of France
Awful Tar The famous tall structure in Pars, France
Other interesting regionalisms can be found at the
Slanguistics website, www.slanguage.com.
to are often slurred, as when want to becomes wanna. Sometimes even more than
two words are blended together, as when that is the way becomes thatsaway. Careful
articulation means using your lips, teeth, tongue, and jaw to bite off your words,
cleanly and separately, one at a time.
Sample Speech
Malala Yousafzai, whose profile began this chapter, was born in the Swat Valley of
Pakistan in 1997. She began blogging about her life under the Taliban at the age of
11. That blog made her famous and publicized her cause, leading to a documentary
film and many other opportunities to speak out. Unfortunately, that publicity also
led to the nearly successful attempt on her life when she was 15.
In 2014, Malala was named as the co-recipient of that year’s Nobel Peace Prize,
for her struggle for the right of all children to an education. Aged 17 at the time,
Yousafzai became the youngest-ever Nobel Prize laureate. Part of receiving the
Nobel Prize is the presentation of a lecture.
As Malala analyzed her audience, she had to contend with the idea that she
was speaking not just for the people who were sitting in front of her, but also for
a much wider global audience who would view her on television and online, and
hear her on podcasts.
http://www.slanguage.com
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Therefore, she had at least four purposes for speaking, which might be worded
as follows:
After listening to my speech, my audience members will:
1. Understand that I am grateful for the honor that has been bestowed.
2. Be able to visualize the plight of girls who are denied an education.
3. Consider joining and/or supporting my cause.
4. Understand that the Taliban do not represent the majority of Muslims.
Her audience analysis, in fact, would have to be profound. In-person attendees
included the king and queen of Norway, members of the Norwegian parliament,
members of the Nobel jury, and a number of international artists and celebrities,
such as Steven Tyler from the rock group Aerosmith.
It was a distinguished audience, and not a homogeneous one. For example,
there were those before her who might be considered dissenters. One Nobel Prize
jurist, in fact, had publicly declared that he disagreed with the decision to give
Malala the award. “This is not for fine people who have done nice things and are
glad to receive it,” he said. “All of that is irrelevant. What Nobel wanted was a
prize that promoted global disarmament.”28
Malala’s award also drew some skeptical responses from members of her
global audience. One conservative Pakistani politician had stated, “There are lots
of girls in Pakistan who have been martyred in terrorist attacks, women who have
been widowed, but no one gives them an award. So these out of the box activities
are suspicious.”29 There was even a private school organization that declared that
Malala’s activism was “anti-Pakistan and anti-Islam.”30
Malala also had to consider her occasion carefully. For example, the day that
she was to give her speech was also the anniversary of Alfred Nobel’s death, as well
as International Human Rights Day. In the final analysis, she chose not to refer to
those aspects of the occasion in her speech, but she would refer to speeches that
came before her and to relevant members of her audience.
One can only imagine the communication apprehension Malala faced. Yet she
practiced until she only needed to glance down at her manuscript occasionally.
She knew the speech well enough that she could speak partially extemporane-
ously by repeating key phrases.
Malala also had to consider the visual and auditory aspects of delivery. She
decided to speak slowly and carefully, given the formal occasion, and to use only
simple, natural gestures, such as pointing out guests she referred to in her speech,
or adjusting her traditional headscarf.
The following is her speech.
Malala received a standing ovation as
she got up to give her speech, which she
begins with a traditional blessing from the
Quran. It is important that her worldwide
audience realize that she is religious,
because her enemies will claim otherwise.
1 Bismillah hir rahman ir rahim. In the name of God, the most merciful, the most beneficent.
SAMPLE SPEECH Malala Yousafzai
Nobel Lecture31
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She then proceeds to give the thanks that
are expected for this special occasion.
She establishes her credentials but also
uses humor to relax her audience and
establish a personal connection with them.
She acknowledges her co-recipient, Kailash
Satyarthi, 60, the Indian activist who is
credited with saving 80,000 children from
slave labor. Malala includes a message of
peace between their two nations, which
are often in conflict.
She again uses a personal touch to
introduce her thesis statement, one that
deals with the importance of her cause.
She includes everyone in her audience as
an active participant in that cause.
She repeats the phrases “It is not time to
pity them” and “the last time” for emphasis.
She repeats the phrase “We had a thirst for
education.”
She does not use statistics or expert
testimony to prove her points, relying
instead on her personal credibility.
2 Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses, distinguished members of the Norwe-
gian Nobel Committee, dear sisters and brothers, today is a day of great happi-
ness for me. I am humbled that the Nobel Committee has selected me for this
precious award. Thank you to everyone for your continued support and love.
Thank you for the letters and cards that I still receive from all around the world.
Your kind and encouraging words strengthen and inspire me. I would like to
thank my parents for their unconditional love. Thank you to my father for not
clipping my wings and for letting me fly. Thank you to my mother for inspiring
me to be patient and to always speak the truth—which we strongly believe is the
true message of Islam. And also thank you to all my wonderful teachers, who
inspired me to believe in myself and be brave.
3 I am proud to be the first Pashtun, the first Pakistani, and the youngest person
to receive this award. Along with that, I am pretty certain that I am also the first
recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize who still fights with her younger brothers. I want
there to be peace everywhere, but my brothers and I are still working on that.
4 I am also honoured to receive this award together with Kailash Satyarthi, who has
been a champion for children’s rights for a long time. Twice as long, in fact, than I
have been alive. I am proud that we can work together and show the world that an
Indian and a Pakistani can work together and achieve their goals of children’s rights.
5 Dear brothers and sisters, I was named after the inspirational Malalai of Maiwand
who is the Pashtun Joan of Arc. The word Malala means “grief stricken, sad”
but in order to lend some happiness to it, my grandfather would always call me
Malala—“The happiest girl in the world”—and today I am very happy that we are
together fighting for an important cause.
6 This award is not just for me. It is for those forgotten children who want educa-
tion. It is for those frightened children who want peace. It is for those voiceless
children who want change.
I am here to stand up for their rights, to raise their voice. It is not time to pity
them. It is time to take action so it becomes the last time that we see a child
deprived of education.
7 I have found that people describe me in many different ways. Some people call me
the girl who was shot by the Taliban. And some, the girl who fought for her rights.
Some people, call me a “Nobel Laureate” now. However, my brothers still call me
that annoying bossy sister. As far as I know, I am just a committed and even stub-
born person who wants to see every child getting quality education, who wants to
see women having equal rights and who wants peace in every corner of the world.
8 Education is one of the blessings of life—and one of its necessities. That has been my
experience during the 17 years of my life. In my paradise home, Swat, I always loved
learning and discovering new things. I remember when my friends and I would dec-
orate our hands with henna on special occasions. And instead of drawing flowers
and patterns we would paint our hands with mathematical formulas and equations.
9 We had a thirst for education because our future was right there in that class-
room. We would sit and learn and read together. We loved to wear neat and tidy
school uniforms and we would sit there with big dreams in our eyes. We wanted
to make our parents proud and prove that we could also excel in our studies and
achieve those goals, which some people think only boys can.
10 But things did not remain the same. When I was in Swat, which was a place of
tourism and beauty, it suddenly changed into a place of terrorism. I was just ten
when more than 400 schools were destroyed. Women were flogged. People were
killed. And our beautiful dreams turned into nightmares.
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One of her purposes is to show that the
Taliban who terrorize her people are not
the true interpreters of Islam. She makes
that point directly here. For emphasis, she
repeats the phrase “have you not learnt.”
She points to her friends who are in the
audience.
She points out her guests, who represent
the worldwide struggle against terrorism
and for human rights, with specific
examples of their deeds.
She repeats the phrases, “Though I appear
as one girl,” and “I am not a lone voice.”
She jokes about her height, and then
follows up with a dramatic statement of
purpose, raising her voice for emphasis.
Enthusiastic applause follows.
She refers to the earlier speech by her
co-recipient. This reference shows how
she is adapting to the circumstances of her
occasion.
She reveals here that she will donate her
half of the Nobel Prize money (around
$500,000) to the foundation that supports
her cause. Applause follows, and she
calmly waits for it to die down so her next
remarks can be heard.
11 Education went from being a right to being a crime. Girls were stopped from
going to school. When my world suddenly changed, my priorities changed too. I
had two options. One was to remain silent and wait to be killed. And the second
was to speak up and then be killed. I chose the second one. I decided to speak up.
12 We could not just stand by and see those injustices of the terrorists denying our
rights, ruthlessly killing people and misusing the name of Islam. We decided to
raise our voice and tell them: Have you not learnt that in the Holy Quran Allah
says: if you kill one person it is as if you kill the whole of humanity? Do you not
know that Mohammad, peace be upon him, the prophet of mercy, says, “do not
harm yourself or others.” And do you not know that the very first word of the
Holy Quran is the word “Iqra,” which means “read”?
13 The terrorists tried to stop us and attacked me and my friends who are here today,
on our school bus in 2012, but neither their ideas nor their bullets could win. We
survived. And since that day, our voices have grown louder and louder. I tell my
story, not because it is unique, but because it is not. It is the story of many girls.
Today, I tell their stories too. I have brought with me some of my sisters from Paki-
stan, from Nigeria and from Syria, who share this story. My brave sisters Shazia and
Kainat who were also shot that day on our school bus. But they have not stopped
learning. And my brave sister Kainat Soomro who went through severe abuse and
extreme violence, even her brother was killed, but she did not succumb.
14 Also my sisters here, whom I have met during my Malala Fund campaign. My
16-year-old courageous sister, Mezon from Syria, who now lives in Jordan as a
refugee and goes from tent to tent encouraging girls and boys to learn. And my
sister Amina, from the North of Nigeria, where Boko Haram threatens, and stops
girls and even kidnaps girls, just for wanting to go to school.
15 Though I appear as one girl, one person, who is 5 foot 2 inches tall, if you include
my high heels. (This means I am 5 foot only.) I am not a lone voice. I am many. I
am Malala. But I am also Shazia. I am Kainat. I am Kainat Soomro. I am Mezon. I
am Amina. I am those 66 million girls who are deprived of education. And today
I am not raising my voice, it is the voice of those 66 million girls.
16 Sometimes people like to ask me, Why should girls go to school, why is it impor-
tant for them? But I think the more important question is, Why shouldn’t they,
why shouldn’t they have this right to go to school?
17 Dear sisters and brothers, today, in half of the world, we see rapid progress and
development. However, there are many countries where millions still suffer
from the very old problems of war, poverty, and injustice. We still see conflicts
in which innocent people lose their lives and children become orphans. We see
many people becoming refugees in Syria, Gaza and Iraq. In Afghanistan, we see
families being killed in suicide attacks and bomb blasts.
18 Many children in Africa do not have access to education because of poverty. And
as I said, we still see girls who have no freedom to go to school in the north of
Nigeria. Many children in countries like Pakistan and India, as Kailash Saty-
arthi mentioned, many children, especially in India and Pakistan, are deprived
of their right to education because of social taboos, or they have been forced into
child marriage or into child labor.
19 One of my very good school friends, the same age as me, who had always been a
bold and confident girl, dreamed of becoming a doctor. But her dream remained
a dream. At the age of 12, she was forced to get married. And then soon she had a
son, she had a child when she herself was still a child—only 14. I know that she
could have been a very good doctor. But she couldn’t . . . because she was a girl.
Her story is why I dedicate the Nobel Peace Prize money to the Malala Fund, to
Sample Speech 319
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She repeats “every child.”
She recognizes former Nobelists, including
Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese activist
who had spent more than 15 of the
previous 21 years under house arrest in
Myanmar. Applause follows.
She refers again to the earlier speech.
She repeats the phrase, “The world can no
longer accept.” The audience applauds
here.
She repeats the phrase “Why is it.” More
applause here.
She repeats the phrase “Let us become the
first generation to decide to be the last,”
and ends her conclusion with a powerful
exhortation.
help give girls quality education, everywhere, anywhere in the world and to raise
their voices. The first place this funding will go to is where my heart is, to build
schools in Pakistan—especially in my home of Swat and Shangla.
20 In my own village, there is still no secondary school for girls. And it is my wish
and my commitment, and now my challenge, to build one so that my friends and
my sisters can go there to school and get quality education and to get this oppor-
tunity to fulfill their dreams. This is where I will begin, but it is not where I will
stop. I will continue this fight until I see every child in school.
21 Dear brothers and sisters, great people, who brought change, like Martin Luther
King and Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and Aung San Suu Kyi, once stood here
on this stage. I hope the steps that Kailash Satyarthi and I have taken so far and
will take on this journey will also bring change—lasting change. [Applause]
22 My great hope is that this will be the last time we must fight for education. Let’s
solve this once and for all. We have already taken many steps. Now it is time to
take a leap. It is not time to tell world leaders to realize how important education
is—they already know it—their own children are in good schools. Now it is time
to call them to take action for the rest of the world’s children. We ask the world
leaders to unite and make education their top priority.
23 Fifteen years ago, world leaders decided on a set of global goals, the Millennium
Development Goals. In the years that have followed, we have seen some progress.
The number of children out of school has been halved, as Kailash Satyarthi said.
However, the world focused only on primary education, and progress did not
reach everyone. In year 2015, representatives from all around the world will meet
in the United Nations to set the next set of goals, the Sustainable Development
Goals. This will set the world’s ambition for the next generations.
24 The world can no longer accept that basic education is enough. Why do leaders
accept that for children in developing countries, only basic literacy is sufficient,
when their own children do homework in Algebra, Mathematics, Science and Phys-
ics? Leaders must seize this opportunity to guarantee a free, quality, primary and
secondary education for every child. Some will say this is impractical, or too expen-
sive, or too hard. Or maybe even impossible. But it is time the world thinks bigger.
25 Dear sisters and brothers, the so-called world of adults may understand it, but
we children don’t. Why is it that countries which we call “strong” are so powerful
in creating wars but are so weak in bringing peace? Why is it that giving guns is
so easy but giving books is so hard? Why is it that making tanks is so easy, but
building schools is so hard? We are living in the modern age and we believe that
nothing is impossible. We have reached the moon 45 years ago and maybe we’ll
soon land on Mars. Then, in this 21st century, we must be able to give every child
quality education.
26 Dear sisters and brothers, dear fellow children, we must work . . . not wait. Not
just the politicians and the world leaders, we all need to contribute. Me. You. We.
It is our duty. Let us become the first generation to decide to be the last that sees
empty classrooms, lost childhoods, and wasted potentials. Let this be the last
time that a girl or a boy spends their childhood in a factory. Let this be the last
time that a girl is forced into early child marriage. Let this be the last time that a
child loses life in war. Let this be the last time that we see a child out of school.
Let this end with us. Let’s begin this ending . . . together . . . today . . . right here,
right now. Let’s begin this ending now.
27 Thank you so much.
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MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
OBJECTIVE Describe the importance of topic,
purpose, and thesis in effective speech preparation.
• Choose a topic that is right for you, your audience, and
the situation.
• Formulating a clear purpose statement serves to keep you
focused while preparing your speech.
• A straightforward thesis statement helps the audience
understand your intent.
> Why is a carefully worded purpose statement essen-
tial for speech success?
> Why do you believe your topic has the potential to be
effective for you as a speaker?
> How would you word your thesis statement for your
next speech?
OBJECTIVE Analyze both the audience and
occasion in any speaking situation.
• When analyzing your audience, you should consider the
audience’s purpose, demographics, attitudes, beliefs, and
values.
• When analyzing the occasion, you should consider the
time (and date) when your speech will take place, the
location, and audience expectations given the occasion.
> What are the most important aspects of analyzing
your audience?
> What are the most important aspects of analyzing the
occasion for your next speech?
> How will you adapt your next speech to both your
audience and occasion?
OBJECTIVE Gather information on your chosen
topic from a variety of sources.
• When researching a speech, students usually think first
of online searches.
• Also consider searching the collections or databases at a
library, interviewing, making personal observations, and
conducting survey research.
> Why are multiple forms of research important in
speech preparation?
11.1
11.2
11.3
> How do you analyze the reliability of information
you find online?
> What is the most important piece of research you
need for your next speech?
OBJECTIVE Assess and manage debilitative
speaking apprehension.
• Sources of debilitative communication apprehension
often include irrational thinking, such as a belief in one
or more fallacies.
• To help overcome communication apprehension,
remember that nervousness is natural, and use it to your
advantage.
• Other methods of overcoming communication appre-
hension involve being rational, receiver oriented, posi-
tive, and prepared.
> What is the relationship between self-talk and com-
munication apprehension?
> Which types of self-defeating thoughts create the
greatest challenge for you?
> What forms of rational self-talk can you use to over-
come self-defeating thoughts?
OBJECTIVE Make effective choices in the delivery
of your speech.
• Choose an effective type of delivery, or combinations of
extemporaneous, impromptu, manuscript, and memo-
rized speeches.
• Practice your speech thoroughly.
• Consider both visual and auditory aspects of delivery.
> What are the primary differences among the main
types of speeches?
> In your last speech, why did you make the delivery
choices that you did? Were they as effective as they
could have been?
> What visual and auditory aspects of delivery will be
most important in the next speech you present.
KEY TERMS
addition p. 314
articulation p. 314
attitude p. 302
audience analysis p. 301
belief p. 302
11.4
11.5
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
321
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CHAPTER 11 Review
database p. 306
debilitative communication apprehension p. 307
deletion p. 314
demographics p. 301
extemporaneous speech p. 311
facilitative communication apprehension p. 307
fallacy of approval p. 309
fallacy of catastrophic failure p. 308
fallacy of overgeneralization p. 309
fallacy of perfection p. 308
general purpose p. 299
impromptu speech p. 311
irrational thinking p. 308
manuscript speech p. 311
memorized speech p. 311
pitch p. 314
purpose statement p. 299
rate p. 313
slurring p. 314
specific purpose p. 299
substitution p. 314
survey research p. 306
thesis statement p. 300
value p. 302
visualization p. 310
ACTIVITIES
1. Formulating Purpose Statements Write a specific pur-
pose statement for each of the following speeches:
a. An after-dinner speech at an awards banquet in which
you will honor a team who has a winning, but not
championship, record. (You pick the team. For exam-
ple: “After listening to my speech, my audience mem-
bers will appreciate the individual sacrifices made by
the members of the chess team.”)
b. A classroom speech in which you explain how to do
something. (Again, you choose the topic: “After listen-
ing to my speech, my audience members will know at
least three ways to maximize their comfort and conve-
nience on an economy class flight.”)
c. A campaign speech in which you support the candidate of
your choice. (For example: “After listening to my speech,
my audience members will consider voting for Alexan-
dra Rodman in order to clean up student government.”)
Answer the following questions about each of the pur-
pose statements you make up: Is it result oriented? Is it
precise? Is it attainable?
2. Formulating Thesis Statements Turn each of the follow-
ing purpose statements into a statement that expresses a
possible thesis. For example, if you had a purpose state-
ment such as this:
After listening to my speech, my audience will rec-
ognize the primary advantages and disadvantages of
home teeth bleaching.
you might turn it into a thesis statement such as this:
Home bleaching your teeth can significantly improve
your appearance, but watch out for injury to the gums
and damaged teeth.
a. At the end of my speech, the audience members will
be willing to sign my petition supporting the local
needle exchange program for drug addicts.
b. After listening to my speech, the audience members
will be able to list five disadvantages of tattoos.
c. During my speech on the trials and tribulations of
writing a research paper, the audience members will
show their interest by paying attention and their
amusement by occasionally laughing.
3. Communication Apprehension: A Personal Analysis
To analyze your own reaction to communication appre-
hension, think back to your last public speech, and rate
yourself on how rational, receiver oriented, positive, and
prepared you were. How did these attributes affect your
anxiety level?
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Organization
and Support
323
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Structuring Your Speech 324
Your Working Outline
Your Formal Outline
Your Speaking Notes
Principles of Outlining 327
Standard Symbols
Standard Format
The Rule of Division
The Rule of Parallel Wording
Organizing Your Outline into a Logical Pattern 328
Time Patterns
Space Patterns
Topic Patterns
Problem-Solution Patterns
Cause-Effect Patterns
Monroe’s Motivated Sequence
Beginnings, Endings, and Transitions 332
The Introduction
The Conclusion
Transitions
Supporting Material 335
Functions of Supporting Material
Types of Supporting Material
Styles of Support: Narration and Citation
Sample Speech 341
Speech Outline
Bibliography
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
12.1
Describe different types of speech
outlines and their functions.
12.2
Construct an effective speech
outline using the organizing
principles described in this
chapter.
12.3
Choose an appropriate
organizational pattern for your
speech.
12.4
Develop a compelling
introduction and conclusion, and
use transitions at key points in
your speech.
12.5
Choose supporting material that
will help make your points clear,
interesting, memorable, and
convincing.
12
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FOR SOME PEOPLE, competing on a speech team can be a truly
transformative experience. Just ask Andrew Neylon.
Neylon didn’t have an easy time as a child. He grew up in an
abusive household, and because his parents moved around a lot, he
was constantly “the new kid” at school. In addition, he was visually
impaired and color blind.
But after one of his high school teachers asked him to write
a speech about his color blindness, he ended up joining the
school’s speech team. He continued competing at Ball State Uni-
versity, where he eventually reached 11 national finals and won
4 national championships. In his senior year of college, he was
named overall best speaker in the country by the National Foren-
sics Association.
With regard to the impact of public speaking, Neylon says, “In my
life, and in my speech career, I didn’t necessarily have a lot of things
handed to me. I’m grateful that speech remains a place where indi-
viduals can craft their own legacies and find fulfillment, growth, and
acknowledgment where other communities often leave those same
people voiceless.”1
His two biggest lessons as a public speaker have been to find
strong supporting material and to organize that information in a way
that makes sense to a specific audience. As you’ll see in the sample
speech at the end of this chapter, Neylon gives special attention to
both of those factors while preparing a speech.
Public speaking skills
helped Andrew Neylon
find his voice and address
issues that are important
to him and to society.
Consider the following
questions as you read this
chapter:
?
In what ways could public
speaking skills potentially
improve your life?
?
How important is the abil-
ity to organize information
effectively?
?
How important is it to back
up what you say and support
your ideas? As Andrew Neylon learned in his study of public speaking, knowing what you
are talking about and communicating that knowledge aren’t the same thing.
It’s frustrating to realize you aren’t expressing your thoughts clearly, and it’s
equally unpleasant to be unable to follow what a speaker is saying because
the material is too jumbled. In the following pages, you will learn methods of
organizing and supporting your thoughts effectively.
Structuring Your Speech
As discussed in Chapter 2, people tend to arrange their perceptions in some
meaningful way in order to make sense of the world. Being clear to your
audience, however, isn’t the only benefit of good organization; structuring a
message effectively will help you refine your own ideas and construct more
persuasive messages.
Structuring Your Speech 325
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A good speech is like a good building: Both grow from a careful plan.
Chapter 11 showed you how to begin this planning by formulating a purpose,
analyzing your audience, and conducting research. You apply that informa-
tion to the structure of the speech through outlining. Like any other plan, a
speech outline is the framework on which your message is built. It contains
your main ideas and shows how they relate to one another and to your thesis.
Virtually every speech outline ought to follow the basic structure outlined in
Figure 12-1.
This basic speech structure demonstrates the old aphorism for speakers:
“Tell what you’re going to say, say it, and then tell what you said.” Although
this structure sounds redundant, the research on listening cited in Chapter 5
demonstrates that receivers forget much of what they hear. The clear, repet-
itive nature of the basic speech structure reduces the potential for memory
loss, because audiences have a tendency to listen more carefully during the
beginning and ending of a speech.2 Your outline will reflect this basic speech
structure.
Outlines come in all shapes and sizes, but the three types that are most impor-
tant to us here are working outlines, formal outlines, and speaking notes.
Your Working Outline
A working outline is a construction tool used to map out your speech. The work-
ing outline will probably follow the basic speech structure, but only in rough form.
It is for your eyes only, and you’ll probably create several drafts as you refine your
ideas. As your ideas solidify, your outline will change accordingly, becoming more
polished as you go along.
Your Formal Outline
A formal outline, such as the ones shown on pages 326 and 342, uses a consistent
format and set of symbols to identify the structure of ideas.
A formal outline serves several purposes. In simplified form, it can be dis-
played as a visual aid or distributed as a handout. It can also serve as a record
of a speech that was delivered; many organizations send outlines to members
who miss meetings at which presentations were given. Finally, in speech classes,
instructors often use speech outlines to analyze student speeches. When one is
used for that purpose, it is usually a full-sentence outline and includes the pur-
pose, thesis, and topic or title. Most instructors also require a bibliography of
sources at the end of the outline. The bibliography should include full research
citations, the correct form for which can be found in any style guide, such as
The Craft of Research, by Wayne Booth et al.3 There are at least six standard bib-
liographic styles. Whichever style you use, you should be consistent in form and
remember the two primary functions of a bibliographic citation: to demonstrate
the credibility of your source and to enable the readers—in this case, your profes-
sor or your fellow students—to find the source if they want to check its accuracy
or explore your topic in more detail.
Another person should be able to understand the basic ideas included in your
speech by reading the formal outline. In fact, that’s one test of the effectiveness of
your outline. See if the outline on pages 341–342 passes this test for you.
Your Speaking Notes
Like your working outline, your speaking notes are for your use only, so the format
is up to you. Many teachers suggest that speaking notes should be in the form of a
brief keyword outline, with just enough information listed to jog your memory but
not enough to get lost in.
basic speech structure The division
of a speech into introduction, body, and
conclusion.
working outline A constantly chang-
ing organizational aid used in planning
a speech.
formal outline A consistent format
and set of symbols used to identify the
structure of ideas.
Three to �ve
main points}
Introduction
I. Attention-getter
II. Preview
Body
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
Conclusion
I. Review
II. Final remarks
FIGURE 12-1 Basic Speech Structure
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Many teachers suggest that you fit your notes on one side of one 3- by 5-inch
note card. Other teachers recommend that you also have your introduction and
conclusion on note cards, and still others recommend that your longer quota-
tions be written out on note cards. Andrew Neylon’s notes for his speech on color
blindness (see the sample outlines, above and on pages 341–342) might look like
the ones in Figure 12-2.
Speech Outline
The following is a basic outline for the sample speech at the end
of this chapter. It shows how ideas are divided and arranged
with standard symbols. An expanded outline and bibliography
for this speech can be found on pages 341–342.
The Amazing Eyeborg
INTRODUCTION
I. Attention-getter
II. Preview main points
BODY
I. The eyeborg opens up a new world for the color blind.
A. The eye functions via rods and cones.
B. The eyeborg functions by changing color to sound.
II. The eyeborg has amazing applications.
A. The eyeborg has amazing applications for the color blind.
B. The eyeborg has amazing applications for all human
beings.
III. The eyeborg also has amazing cultural implications.
A. The eyeborg augments a physical sense.
B. The eyeborg suggests that other physical senses can be
augmented.
C. The eyeborg allows humans to become cyborgs.
Conclusion
I. Review
II. Final Remarks
Intro: World is black and white. Neil Harbisson. Show slide.
Eye Contact!
Slow down!
I. A new world for the color blind.
A. Rods and cones. Show slide.
B. Changing color to sound.
Achromatopsia
Play audio
II. Amazing applications.
A. For the color blind.
B. For all human beings—Art, Supermarket, Celebrities.
Transition: The eyeborg may be Harbisson’s pet
project, but it suggests a wealth of opportunities…
y g y p
PRI: “the next update for Harbisson’s electronic eye will let
him hear colors invisible to the human eye—those in the
ultraviolet range. He said he’ll be able to detect which days
will be dangerous for sunbathing.”
Scan audience—make contact!
FIGURE 12-2 Speaking Notes These note cards are based on the outlines above and on pages
341–342. Speaking notes are unique to the speaker; yours could be completely different for the
same speech.
Principles of Outlining
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327
Principles of Outlining
Over the years, a series of rules or principles for the construction of outlines has
evolved. These rules are based on the use of the standard symbols and format dis-
cussed next.
Standard Symbols
A speech outline generally uses the following symbols:
I. Main point (roman numeral)
A. Subpoint (capital letter)
1. Sub-subpoint (standard number)
a. Sub-subsubpoint (lowercase letter)
In the examples in this chapter, the major divisions of the speech—
introduction, body, and conclusion—are not given in symbols. They are listed by
name, and the roman numerals for their main points begin anew in each division.
An alternative form is to list these major divisions with roman numerals, main
points with capital letters, and so on.
Standard Format
In the sample outlines in this chapter, notice that each symbol is indented a number
of spaces from the symbol above it. Besides keeping the outline neat, the indenta-
tion of different-order ideas is actually the key to the technique of outlining; it
enables you to coordinate and order ideas in the form in which they are most com-
prehensible to the human mind. If the standard format is used in your working out-
line, it will help you create a well-organized speech. If it is used in speaking notes,
it will help you remember everything you want to say.
Proper outline form is based on a few rules and guidelines, the first of which
is the rule of division.
The Rule of Division
In formal outlines, main points and subpoints always represent a division of a whole.
Because it is impossible to divide something into fewer than two parts, you always
have at least two main points for every topic. Then, if your main points are divided,
you will always have at least two subpoints, and so on. Thus, the rule for formal out-
lines is as follows: Never a “I” without a “II,” never an “A” without a “B,” and so on.
Three to five is considered to be the ideal number of main points. It is also
considered best to divide those main points into three to five subpoints, when
necessary and possible. Notice how Andrew Neylon divided the body of his topic
as shown in the sample outline on page 326.
The Rule of Parallel Wording
Your main points should be worded in a similar, or “parallel,” manner. For exam-
ple, if you are developing a speech against capital punishment, your main points
might look like this:
I. Capital punishment is not effective: It is not a deterrent to crime.
II. Capital punishment is not constitutional: It does not comply with the
Eighth Amendment.
III. Capital punishment is not civilized: It does not allow for a reverence for life.
Whenever possible, subpoints should also be worded in a parallel manner. For
your points to be worded in a parallel manner, they should each contain one, and
only one, idea. (After all, they can’t really be parallel if one is longer or contains more
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ideas than the others.) This will enable you to completely develop one idea before
moving on to another one in your speech. If you were discussing cures for indiges-
tion, your topic might be divided incorrectly if your main points looked like this:
I. “Preventive cures” help you before eating.
II. “Participation cures” help you during and after eating.
You might actually have three ideas there and thus three main points:
I. Prevention cures (before eating)
II. Participation cures (during eating)
III. Postparticipation cures (after eating)
Organizing Your Outline
into a Logical Pattern
An outline should reflect a logical order for your points. You might arrange them
from newest to oldest, largest to smallest, best to worst, or in a number of other
ways that follow. The organizing pattern you choose ought to be the one that best
develops your thesis.
Main Points and Subpoints
To get an idea of your ability to distinguish main points from subpoints, set the “timer” function on your mobile phone
and see how long it takes you to fit the following concepts for a speech entitled “The College Application Process” into
outline form:
SELF-ASSESSMENT
CONCEPTS
Participation in extracurricular activities
Visit and evaluate college websites
Prepare application materials
Career ambitions
Choose desired college
Letters of recommendation
Write personal statement
Visit and evaluate college campuses
Choose interesting topic
Test scores
Include important personal details
Volunteer work
Transcripts
RECOMMENDED OUTLINE FORM
I.
A.
B.
II.
A.
B.
C.
III.
A.
B.
1.
2.
3.
You can score yourself as follows:
A minute or less: Congratulations, organization comes naturally to you.
61–90 seconds: You have typical skills in this area.
More than 90 seconds: Give yourself extra time while building your speech outline.
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Time Patterns
Arrangement according to time patterns, or chronology, is one
of the most common patterns of organization. The period of
time could be anything from centuries to seconds. In a speech
on airline food, a time pattern might look like this:
I. Early airline food: a gourmet treat
II. The middle period: institutional food at 30,000 feet
III. Today’s airline food: the passenger starves
Arranging points according to the steps that make up a pro-
cess is another form of time patterning. The topic “Recording a
Hit Song” might use this type of patterning:
I. Record the demo.
II. Post a YouTube video.
III. Get a recording company to listen and view.
Time patterns are also the basis of climax patterns,
which are used to create suspense. For example, if you wanted
to create suspense in a speech about military intervention,
you could chronologically trace the steps that eventually led
us into Afghanistan or Iraq in such a way that you build up
your audience’s curiosity. If you told of these steps through
the eyes of a soldier who entered military service right before one of those wars,
you would be building suspense as your audience wonders what will become of
that soldier.
The climax pattern can also be reversed. When it is, it is called anticlimactic
organization. If you started your military intervention speech by telling the audi-
ence that you were going to explain why a specific soldier was killed in a specific
war, and then you went on to explain the things that caused that soldier to become
involved in that war, you would be using anticlimactic organization. This pattern
is helpful when you have an essentially uninterested audience, and you need to
build interest early in your speech to get the audience to listen to the rest of it.
Space Patterns
Speech organization by physical area is known as a space pattern. The area could
be stated in terms of continents or centimeters or anything in between. If you were
discussing the Great Lakes, for example, you could arrange them from west to east:
I. Superior
II. Michigan
III. Huron
IV. Erie
V. Ontario
Topic Patterns
A topical arrangement or topic pattern is based on types or categories. These cat-
egories could be either well known or original; both have their advantages. For
example, a division of college students according to well-known categories might
look like this:
I. Freshmen
II. Sophomores
III. Juniors
IV. Seniors
time pattern An organizing plan for a
speech based on chronology.
climax pattern An organizing plan for
a speech that builds ideas to the point of
maximum interest or tension.
space pattern An organizing plan in a
speech that arranges points according
to their physical location.
topic pattern An organizing plan for
a speech that arranges points according
to logical types or categories.
One of the greatest speakers of the 20th century, Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr., knew well how to construct a speech and how to conclude
with passion.
What best practices can you use to boost the impact when
organizing your speeches?
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Well-known categories are advantageous because audiences quickly under-
stand them. But familiarity also has its disadvantages. One disadvantage is the
“Oh, this again” syndrome. If the members of an audience feel they have nothing
new to learn about the components of your topic, they might not listen to you.
To avoid this, you could invent original categories that freshen up your topic by
suggesting an original analysis. For example, original categories for “college stu-
dents” might look like this:
I. Grinds: Students who go to every class and read every assignment before it
is due.
II. Renaissance students: Students who find a satisfying balance of scholarly
and social pursuits.
III. Burnouts: Students who have a difficult time finding the classroom, let
alone doing the work.
Sometimes topics are arranged in the order that will be easiest for your audience
to remember. To return to our Great Lakes example, the names of the lakes could be
arranged so their first letters spell the word “HOMES.” Words used in this way are
known as mnemonics. Carol Koehler, a professor of communication and medicine,
uses the mnemonic “CARE” to describe the characteristics of a caring doctor:
C stands for concentrate. Physicians should pay attention with their eyes
and ears . . .
A stands for acknowledge. Show them that you are listening . . .
R stands for response. Clarify issues by asking questions, providing periodic
recaps . . .
E stands for exercise emotional control. When your “hot buttons” are pushed . . .4
One of the greatest speakers of the 20th century, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr., knew well how to construct a speech and how to conclude with passion.
What best practices can you use to boost the impact when organizing your speeches?
Problem-Solution Patterns
Describing what’s wrong and proposing a way to make things better is known as a
problem-solution pattern. It is usually (but not always) divisible into two distinct
parts, as in this example:
I. The Problem: Addiction (which could then be broken down into addiction
to cigarettes, alcohol, prescribed drugs, and street drugs)
II. The Solution: A national addiction institute (which would study the root
causes of addiction in the same way that the National Cancer Institute stud-
ies the root causes of cancer)
We will discuss this pattern in more detail in Chapter 14.
Cause-Effect Patterns
Cause-effect patterns are similar to problem-solution patterns in that they are
basically two-part patterns: First you discuss something that happened, and then
you discuss its effects.
A variation of this pattern reverses the order and presents the effects first and
then the causes. Persuasive speeches often have effect-cause or cause-effect as the
first two main points. Elizabeth Hallum, a student at Arizona State University,
organized the first two points of a speech on “workplace revenge”5 like this:
I. The effects of the problem
A. Lost productivity
B. Costs of sabotage
problem-solution pattern An
organizing pattern for a speech that
describes an unsatisfactory state of
affairs and then proposes a plan to
remedy the problem.
cause-effect pattern An organizing
plan for a speech that demonstrates how
one or more events result in another
event or events.
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II. The causes of the problem
A. Employees feeling alienated
B. Employers’ light treatment of incidents of revenge
The third main point in this type of persuasive speech is often “solutions,”
and the fourth main point is often “the desired audience behavior.” Hallum’s final
points were as follows:
III. Solutions: Support the National Employee Rights Institute.
IV. Desired Audience Response: Log on to www.disgruntled.com.
Cause-effect and problem-solution patterns are often combined in various
arrangements. One extension of the problem-solution organizational pattern is
Monroe’s Motivated Sequence.
Monroe’s Motivated Sequence
The Motivated Sequence was proposed by a scholar named Alan Monroe in the
1930s.6 In this persuasive pattern, the problem is broken down into an attention
step and a need step, and the solution is broken down into a satisfaction step, a
visualization step, and an action step. In a speech on “random acts of kindness,”7
the Motivated Sequence might break down like this:
I. The attention step draws attention to your subject. (“Just the other day Ron
saved George’s life with a small, random, seemingly unimportant act of
kindness.”)
ASK YOURSELF
Think of an idea that
you could present
to your class. Which
pattern of organiza-
tion would be most
effective for that
presentation?
?
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Nontraditional Patterns of Organization
In addition to the traditional patterns usually taught in
public speaking classes, researchers are looking at the use of
less linear forms.
One of these is the wave pattern, in which the speaker uses
repetitions and variations of themes and ideas. The major
points of the speech come at the crest of the wave. The
speaker follows these with a variety of examples leading
up to another crest, where she repeats the theme or makes
another major point.
Perhaps the most famous speech that illustrates this pat-
tern is the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have
a Dream.” King used this memorable line as the crest of
a wave that he followed with examples of what he saw
in his dream; then he repeated the line. He ended with a
“peak” conclusion that emerged from the final wave in the
speech—repetition and variation on the phrase “Let free-
dom ring.”
An excerpt from Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I a Woman?” speech
also illustrates this pattern:
That man over there says that women need to be
helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to
have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me
into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any
best place!
And ain’t I a woman?
Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted,
and gathered into barns, and no man could head me!
And ain’t I a woman?
I could work as much and eat as much as a man—when I
could get it—and bear the lash as well!
And ain’t I a woman?
I have borne thirteen children and seen them most all
sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s
grief, none but Jesus heard me!
And ain’t I a woman?
Jaffe, C. (2007). Public speaking: Concepts and skills for a diverse society (5th
ed.). Boston: Wadsworth, © 2007. Reprinted with permission of Wadsworth, an
imprint of the Wadsworth Group, a division of Thomson Learning.
Why is diversity important in the messages you send and receive?
Why is message organization such an important factor?
http://www.disgruntled.com
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II. The need step establishes the problem. (“Millions of Americans suffer from
depression, a life-threatening disease.”)
III. The satisfaction step proposes a solution. (“One random act of kindness can
lift a person from depression.”)
IV. The visualization step describes the results of the solution. (“Imagine your-
self having that kind of effect on another person.”)
V. The action step is a direct appeal for the audience to do something. (“Try a
random act of kindness today!”)
Chapter 14 has more to say about the organization of persuasive speeches.
Beginnings, Endings,
and Transitions
The introduction and conclusion of a speech are vitally important, although they
usually will occupy less than 20% of your speaking time. Listeners form their
impression of a speaker early, and they remember what they hear last; it is, there-
fore, vital to make those few moments at the beginning and end of your speech
work to your advantage. It is also essential that you connect sections within your
speech using effective transitions.
The Introduction
A speech introduction has four functions: to capture the audience’s attention, pre-
view the main points, set the mood and tone of the speech, and demonstrate the
importance of the topic.
Capturing Attention There are several ways to capture an audience’s attention.
The checklist on page 333 summarizes some of them.
Previewing Main Points After you capture the attention of the audience, an effec-
tive introduction will almost always state the speaker’s thesis and give the listen-
ers an idea of the upcoming main points. Katharine Graham,
the former publisher of the Washington Post, addressed a group
of businessmen and their wives in this way:
I am delighted to be here. It is a privilege to address you. And I
am especially glad the rules have been bent for tonight, allow-
ing so many of you to bring along your husbands. I think it’s
nice for them to get out once in a while and see how the other
half lives. Gentlemen, we welcome you.
Actually, I have other reasons for appreciating this chance
to talk with you tonight. It gives me an opportunity to address
some current questions about the press and its responsibilities—
whom we are responsible to, what we are responsible for, and
generally how responsible our performance has been.8
Thus, Graham previewed her main points:
1. To explain who the press is responsible to
2. To explain what the press is responsible for
3. To explain how responsible the press has been
Sometimes your preview of main points will be even more
straightforward:
introduction (of a speech) The first
structural unit of a speech, in which the
speaker captures the audience’s atten-
tion and previews the main points to be
covered.
In the Anchorman comedies, newscaster Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)
reads the same opening and closing statements every night. Even
if you haven’t seen the films, it’s easy to imagine the effect of his
approach.
How can you make your delivery most authentic?
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“I have three points to discuss: They are _________________ ,
_________________ , and _________________ .
Sometimes you will not want to refer directly to your main points
in your introduction. Your reasons for not doing so might be based
on a plan calling for suspense, humorous effect, or stalling for time
to win over a hostile audience. In that case, you might preview only
your thesis:
“I am going to say a few words about _________________ .”
“Did you ever wonder about _________________ ?”
“_________________ is one of the most important issues facing us
today.”
Setting the Mood and Tone of Your Speech Notice, in the example
just given, how Katharine Graham began her speech by joking with
her audience. She was a powerful woman speaking before an all-male
organization; the only women in the audience were the members’
wives. That is why Ms. Graham felt it necessary to put her audience
members at ease by joking with them about women’s traditional role
in society. By beginning in this manner, she assured the men that she
would not berate them for the sexist bylaws of their organization.
She also showed them that she was going to approach her topic with
wit and intelligence. Thus, she set the mood and tone for her entire
speech. Imagine how different that mood and tone would have been
if she had begun this way:
Before I start today, I would just like to say that I would never have
accepted your invitation to speak here had I known that your orga-
nization does not accept women as members. Just where do you
Cro-Magnons get off, excluding more than half the human race
from your little club?
Demonstrating the Importance of Your Topic to Your Audience
Your audience members will listen to you more carefully if your
speech relates to them as individuals. Based on your audience analy-
sis, you should state directly why your topic is of importance to your
audience members. This importance should be related as closely as
possible to their specific needs at that specific time. For example,
Emily Meyer, a student at Gustavus Adolphus College, presented a
speech about trucking safety. She established the importance of her
topic this way:
Each weekend and every day, all of us, our families and friends,
are confronted by a danger we know nothing about. It happens 11
times a day. Last year, it killed 800 times more people than terrorist
attacks in the U.S. Despite all this, people continue to believe this
isn’t terrifying. NBC News of July 30, 2014 proclaims, “In any other
industry, thousands of deaths would generate a national outcry.”
But we pass by trucking accidents every day without batting an eye.9
Establishing Credibility One final consideration for your introduc-
tion is to establish your credibility to speak on your topic. One way to
do this is to be well prepared. Another is to appear confident as soon as
you face your audience. A third technique is to tell your audience about
CHECKLIST
Capturing Audience
Attention
Refer to the audience. This technique is
especially effective if it is complimentary:
“Julio’s speech about how animals commu-
nicate was so interesting that I decided to
explore a related topic.”
Refer to the occasion. “Given our assign-
ment, it seems appropriate to talk about
something you might have wondered.”
Refer to the relationship between the
audience and the subject. “It’s fair to say
that all of us here believe it’s important to
care for our environment. What you’ll learn
today will make you care about that envi-
ronment in a whole new way.”
Refer to something familiar to the audi-
ence. “Most of us have talked to our pets.
Today, you’ll learn that there are other con-
versational partners around the house.”
Cite a startling fact or opinion. “New sci-
entific evidence suggests that plants appre-
ciate human company, kind words, and
classical music.”
Ask a question. “Have you ever wondered
why some people have a green thumb,
whereas others couldn’t make a weed grow?”
Tell an anecdote. “The other day, while
taking a walk near campus, I saw a man talk-
ing quite animatedly to a sunflower.”
Use a quotation. “The naturalist Max Thorn-
ton recently said, ‘Psychobiology has proven
that plants can communicate. Now humans
need to learn how to listen to them.’”
Tell an (appropriate) joke. “We once wor-
ried about people who talked to plants,
but that’s no longer the case. Now we only
worry if the plants talk back.”
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your personal experience with the topic, in order to establish why it is
important to you. Andrew Neylon, in the sample speech found at the
end of this chapter, uses all three of these techniques.
The Conclusion
Like the introduction, the conclusion is an especially important part
of your speech. It has three essential functions: to restate the thesis, to
review your main points, and to provide a memorable final remark.
You can review your thesis either by repeating it or by paraphras-
ing it. Or you might devise a striking summary statement for your
conclusion to help your audience remember your thesis. Grant Ander-
son, a student at Minnesota State University, gave a speech against the
policy of rejecting blood donations from homosexuals. He ended his
conclusion with this statement: “The gay community still has a whole
host of issues to contend with, but together all of us can all take a step
forward by recognizing this unjust and discriminatory measure. So
stand up and raise whatever arm they poke you in to draw blood and
say ‘Blood is Blood’ no matter who you are.”10 Grant’s statement was
concise but memorable.
Your main points can also be reviewed artistically. For example,
first look back at that example introduction by Katharine Graham,
and then read her conclusion to that speech:
So instead of seeking flat and absolute answers to the kinds of
problems I have discussed tonight, what we should be trying to
foster is respect for one another’s conception of where duty lies,
and understanding of the real worlds in which we try to do our
best. And we should be hoping for the energy and sense to keep on
arguing and questioning, because there is no better sign that our
society is healthy and strong.
Let’s take a closer look at how and why this conclusion was effec-
tive. Graham posed three questions in her introduction. She dealt
with those questions in her speech and reminded her audience, in her
conclusion, that she had answered the questions.
PREVIEW (FROM INTRODUCTION REVIEW (FROM CONCLUSION)
OF SPEECH)
1. To whom is the press 1. To its own conception
responsible? of where its duty lies
2. What is the press 2. For doing its best in the
responsible for? “real world”
3. How responsible has the 3. It has done its best
press been?
Transitions
Transitions keep your message moving forward. They perform the
following functions:
They tell how the introduction relates to the body of the speech.
They tell how one main point relates to the next main point.
They tell how your subpoints relate to the points they are part of.
They tell how your supporting points relate to the points they
support.
CHECKLIST
Effective Conclusions
You can make your final remarks most effective
by avoiding the following mistakes:
Don’t end abruptly. Make sure that your
conclusion accomplishes everything it is
supposed to accomplish. Develop it fully.
You might want to use signposts such as,
“Finally . . . ,” “In conclusion . . . ,” or “To sum
up what I’ve been talking about here . . .”
to let your audience know that you have
reached the conclusion of the speech.
Don’t ramble, either. Prepare a definite
conclusion, and never, ever end by mum-
bling something like, “Well, I guess that’s
about all I wanted to say. . . .”
Don’t introduce new points. The worst
kind of rambling is, “Oh, yes, and something
I forgot to mention is. . . .”
Don’t apologize. Don’t make statements
such as “I’m sorry I didn’t have more time to
research this subject.” You will only highlight
the possible weaknesses of your speech,
which may have been far more apparent to
you than to your audience. It’s best to end
strong. You can use any of the attention-
getters suggested for the introduction to
make the conclusion memorable, or you can
revisit your attention-getting introduction.
conclusion (of a speech) The final part of a
speech, in which the main points are reviewed and
final remarks are made to motivate the audience or
help listeners remember key ideas.
transition A phrase that connects ideas in a
speech by showing how one relates to the other.
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To be effective, transitions should refer to the previous point and to the
upcoming point, showing how they relate to each other and to the thesis. They
usually sound something like this:
“Like [previous point], another important consideration in [topic] is [upcom-
ing point].”
“But _________________ isn’t the only thing we have to worry about.
_________________ is even more potentially dangerous.”
“Yes, the problem is obvious. But what are the solutions? Well, one possible
solution is . . .”
Sometimes a transition includes an internal review (a restatement of preced-
ing points), an internal preview (a look ahead to upcoming points), or both:
“So far we’ve discussed _______________ , _______________ , and _______________ .
Our next points are _______________ , _______________ , and _______________ .”
It isn’t always necessary to provide a transition between every set of points.
You have to choose when one is necessary for your given audience to follow the
progression of your ideas. You can find several examples of transitions in the
sample speech at the end of this chapter.
Supporting Material
It is important to organize ideas clearly and logically. But clarity and logic by them-
selves won’t guarantee that you’ll interest, enlighten, or persuade others; these
results call for the use of supporting materials. These materials—the facts and infor-
mation that back up and prove your ideas and opinions—are the flesh that fills out
the skeleton of your speech.
Functions of Supporting Material
There are four functions of supporting material.
To Clarify As explained in Chapter 4, people of different backgrounds tend to
attach different meanings to words. Supporting material can help you overcome
this potential source of confusion by helping you clarify key terms and ideas.
For example, when Jacoby Cochran, a student at Bradley University in Illinois,
spoke on the dangers of “special administrative measures,” or SAMs, he needed to
clarify what he meant by his key term. He used supporting material in this way:
AlterNet explains that SAMs are measures including limited communication,
solitary confinement, the withholding of evidence and enhanced interroga-
tion, enacted against individuals convicted or suspected of mob or terrorist ties.
In the most extreme circumstances, such as keeping a known mob boss from
running an organization from inside prison, SAMs have proven beneficial, but
their recent expansions have elevated them from a rarely used, extreme holding
measure to a legal basis for torture, detentions without charge or trial, and the
shredding of constitutional rights.11
To Prove A second function of support is to be used as evidence, to prove the
truth of what you are saying. If you were giving a speech on what is known as the
immigration crisis, you might want to point out that concerns about immigration
are nothing new. The following could be used to prove that point:
A prominent American once said about immigrants, “Few of their children
in the country learn English. . . . The signs in our streets have inscriptions in
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both languages. . . . Unless the stream of their importation could be turned
they will soon so outnumber us that all the advantages we have will not be
able to preserve our language, and even our government will become pre-
carious.” This sentiment did not emerge from the rancorous debate over the
immigration bill defeated not long ago in the Senate. It was not the lament
of some . . . candidate intent on wooing bedrock conservative votes. Guess
again. Voicing this grievance was Benjamin Franklin. And the language so
vexing to him was the German spoken by new arrivals to Pennsylvania in the
1750s, a wave of immigrants whom Franklin viewed as the “most stupid of
their nation.”16
To Make Interesting A third function of support is to make an idea interesting
or to catch your audience’s attention. For example, when Nathan Dunn, a student
at Oklahoma City College, spoke about how special education students are some-
times treated, he started with this concrete example:
For most high school seniors, their biggest problems revolve around getting
into college, getting a job, or finding a date to the prom. Unfortunately, Andre
McCollins of Canton, Massachusetts, is not most high school seniors. In Octo-
ber 2002, Andre was an 18-year-old student at the Judge Rotenberg Educa-
tional Center, a residential school for students with developmental disabilities
less than 20 miles from where we are right now. One morning, Andre did not
@WORK
Organizing Business Presentations
When top business executives plan an important speech,
they often call in a communication consultant to help orga-
nize their remarks. Even though they are experts, executives
are so close to the topic of their message that they may have
difficulty arranging their ideas so others will understand or
be motivated by them.
Consultants stress how important organization and message
structure are in giving presentations. Seminar leader and
corporate trainer T. Stephen Eggleston sums up the basic
approach: “Any presentation . . . regardless of complexity . . .
should consist of the same four basic parts: an opening,
body, summary and closing.”12
Ethel Cook, a Massachusetts consultant, is very specific
about how much time should be spent on each section of
a speech. “In timing your presentation,” she says, “an ideal
breakdown would be:
Opening—10 to 20 percent
Body—65 to 75 percent
Closing—10 to 20 percent.”13
Business coach Vadim Kotelnikov gives his clients a step-
by-step procedure to organize their ideas within the body
of a presentation. “List all the points you plan to cover,” he
advises. “Group them in sections and put your list of sections
in the order that best achieves your objectives. Begin with
the most important topics.”14
Toastmasters International, an organization that runs train-
ing programs for business professionals, suggests alternative
organizational patterns:
To organize your ideas into an effective proposal, use
an approach developed in the field of journalism—the
“inverted pyramid.” In the “inverted pyramid” format,
the most important information is given in the first
few paragraphs. As you present the pitch, the informa-
tion becomes less and less crucial. This way, your pre-
sentation can be cut short, yet remain effective.15
While each consultant may offer specific tips, all agree that
clear organization is essential when a business speaker
wants his or her ideas to be understood and appreciated.
Imagine a business presentation you might have to make in your
future career. Why would organization be important in such a
presentation? See www.oup.com/us/adleruhc for more on work-
related communication.
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
Supporting Material 337
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respond to a staff member asking him to take off his coat. In response, staff
members tied him to a board face down, for 7 hours, with no breaks for food,
water, or bathroom use. More horrifying, though, was that staff members elec-
trically shocked Andre 31 times while he was tied down. The school’s class-
room cameras captured the whole day on a video the school fought to keep
secret for years.17
To Make Memorable A final function of supporting materials, related to the
preceding one, is to make a point memorable. We have already mentioned the
importance of “memorable” statements in a speech conclusion; use of supporting
material in the introduction and body of the speech provides another way to help
your audience retain important information. When Chris Griesinger of Eastern
Michigan University spoke about the importance of pain management, he wanted
his audience to remember the severity of the problem, so he used the following as
supporting material:
Every year the National Committee on Treatment of Intractable Pain receives
letters from people sharing their stories of loved ones who died in pain. One
letter reads, “I lost my mother to cancer. Her pain was so horrid that she lost
her mind and ate her bottom lip completely off from clenching her top teeth so
tightly. My 13-year-old sister and I watched this for 6 weeks.”18
Types of Supporting Material
As you may have noted, each function of support could be fulfilled by several
different types of material. Let’s take a look at these different types of supporting
material.
Definitions It’s a good idea to give your audience members definitions of your
key terms, especially if those terms are unfamiliar to them or are being used in
an unusual way. A good definition is simple and concise. When Erin Schoch, a
student at the University of Florida, gave a speech on revenge porn, she needed to
define two key terms, sexting and revenge porn:
Advancing technology has millions turning to “sexting,” or sending provocative
images or text messages through a digital means. A study in the journal Cyber-
psychology reports that 46% of college students have sent a “sext” with a picture.
After one’s relationship ends, these pictures can turn into “revenge porn,” which
USA Today defines as the posting of someone’s sexually explicit images without
their consent.19
Political satirists like Samantha Bee use
extensive supporting material when they
poke fun at political and cultural figures.
Their quotes, examples, and video clips
make their points more interesting,
memorable, and persuasive.
How can you enhance the effectiveness of
your remarks with compelling supporting
material?
Source: DILBERT © 2006 Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.
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Examples An example is a specific case that is used to demonstrate a general
idea. Examples can be either factual or hypothetical, personal or borrowed. In
Erin Schoch’s speech, she used the following factual example (i.e., a true, specific
case to support an argument):
When Holly Jacobs was 23, she was in a long-distance relationship with
Ryan. She loved and trusted him, and at one point during the three years
they were together, she sent him nude pictures. After the couple mutually
split, Jacobs began dating someone new and posted a picture with her new
boyfriend on Facebook. Within hours, strangers emailed saying her nude
pictures were on “revenge porn” websites. Jacobs’ naked photos were pub-
lished on over 200 websites with her full name, personal email address, the
university she attended, and even a link to where she worked. Horrified at
this breach of privacy, Jacobs went to the Miami police. They refused to take
any action, however, stating that “because you are over 18 and you con-
sented, technically the photos are his property and he can do whatever he
wants with them.”20
Hypothetical examples, which ask audience members to imagine some-
thing, can often be more powerful than factual examples because they create
active participation in the thought. Stephanie Wideman of the University of West
Florida used a hypothetical example to start off her speech on oil prices:
The year is 2025. One day you are asked not to come into work, not because of a
holiday, but instead because there is not enough energy available to power your
office. You see, it is not that the power is out, but that they are out of power.21
Statistics Data organized to show that a fact or principle is true for a large
percentage of cases are known as statistics. These are actually collections of
examples, which is why they are often more effective as proof than are isolated
examples. Here’s the way a newspaper columnist used statistics to demonstrate a
point about gun violence:
I had coffee the other day with Marian Wright Edelman, president of the Chil-
dren’s Defense Fund, and she mentioned that since the murders of Robert Ken-
nedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in 1968, well over a million Americans
have been killed by firearms in the United States. That’s more than the combined
U.S. combat deaths in all the wars in all of American history. “We’re losing eight
children and teenagers a day to gun violence,” she said.22
Because statistics can be powerful support, you have to follow certain rules
when using them. You should make sure that the statistics make sense and that
they come from a credible source. You should also cite the source of the statistic
when you use it. A final rule is based on effectiveness rather than ethics. You
should reduce the statistic to a concrete image if possible. For example, $1 billion
in $100 bills. Using concrete images such as this will make your statistics more
than “just numbers” when you use them. For example, one observer expressed the
idea of Bill Gates’s wealth this way:
Examine Bill Gates’ wealth compared to yours: Consider the average Ameri-
can of reasonable but modest wealth. Perhaps he has a net worth of $100,000.
Mr. Gates’ worth is 400,000 times larger. Which means that if something costs
$100,000 to him, to Bill it’s as though it costs 25 cents. So for example, you
might think a new Lamborghini Diablo would cost $250,000, but in Bill Gates
dollars that’s 63 cents.23
factual example A true, specific
case that is used to demonstrate a
general idea.
hypothetical example An example
that asks an audience to imagine an
object or event.
statistic Numbers arranged or orga-
nized to show how a fact or principle is
true for a large percentage of cases.
ASK YOURSELF
Recall a recent occa-
sion in which you
tried to change some-
one’s mind. What
were your arguments?
Which forms of sup-
port did you use to
back them up?
?
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Analogies/Comparison-Contrast We use analogies, or comparisons, all the
time, often in the form of figures of speech, such as similes and metaphors. A
simile is a direct comparison that usually uses like or as, whereas a metaphor is
an implied comparison that does not use like or as. So if you said that the rush of
refugees from a war-torn country was “like a tidal wave,” you would be using a
simile. If you used the expression “a tidal wave of refugees,” you would be using
a metaphor.
Analogies are extended metaphors. They can be used to compare or contrast
an unknown concept with a known one. For example, here’s how one writer made
her point against separate Academy Awards for men and women:
Many hours into the Academy Awards ceremony this Sunday, the Oscar for best
actor will go to Morgan Freeman, Jeff Bridges, George Clooney, Colin Firth,
or Jeremy Renner. Suppose, however, that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts
and Sciences presented separate honors for best white actor and best non-white
actor, and that Mr. Freeman was prohibited from competing against the likes of
Mr. Clooney and Mr. Bridges. Surely, the Academy would be derided as intoler-
ant and out of touch; public outcry would swiftly ensure that Oscar nomina-
tions never again fell along racial lines.
Why, then, is it considered acceptable to segregate nominations by sex, offer-
ing different Oscars for best actor and best actress?24
Anecdotes An anecdote is a brief story with a point, often (but not always)
based on personal experience. (The word anecdote comes from the Greek, mean-
ing “unpublished item.”) Alyssa Gieseck, a student at the University of Akron,
used the following anecdote in her speech about the problems some Deaf people
encounter with police:
Jonathan Meister, a deaf man, was retrieving his personal belongings from a
friend’s home when police arrived, responding to a report of suspicious behav-
ior. Trying to sign to the police officers, Meister was seen as a threat, which is
when the officers decided to handcuff him. Handcuffing a deaf person is equiv-
alent to putting duct tape over a hearing person’s mouth. Meister initially pulled
away to sign that he was deaf, but one police officer pushed him up against a
fence, kneed him twice in the abdomen, put him in a choke hold, and tasered
him. A second officer repeatedly punched him in the face, tasering him again.
But this wasn’t the end of the assault. He was then shoved to the ground, kicked,
elbowed, tasered for a third time, and put in a second chokehold, which left him
unconscious.25
Quotations/Testimonies Using a familiar, artistically stated quotation will
enable you to take advantage of someone else’s memorable wording. For example,
if you were giving a speech on personal integrity, you might quote Mark Twain,
who said, “Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.” A
quotation like that fits Alexander Pope’s definition of “true wit”: “What was often
thought, but ne’er so well expressed.”
You can also use quotations as testimony, to prove a point by using the sup-
port of someone who is more authoritative or experienced on the subject than you
are. When Julia Boyle, a student at Northern Illinois University, wanted to prove
that spyware stalking was a serious problem, she used testimony this way:
Michella Cash, advocate for the Women’s Service network noted, “Spyware tech-
nology is the new form of domestic violence abuse that enables perpetrators to
exert round the clock control over their victims.”26
analogy An extended comparison that
can be used as supporting material in a
speech.
anecdote A brief, personal story used
to illustrate or support a point in a
speech.
testimony Supporting material that
proves or illustrates a point by citing an
authoritative source.
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Sometimes testimony can be paraphrased. For example, when one business execu-
tive was talking on the subject of diversity, he used a conversation he had with Jesse
Jackson Sr., an African American leader, as testimony:
At one point in our conversation, Jesse talked about the stages of advance-
ment toward a society where diversity is fully valued. He said the first stage was
emancipation—the end of slavery. The second stage was the right to vote and
the third stage was the political power to actively participate in government—
to be part of city hall, the Governor’s office and Capitol Hill. Jesse was clearly
focused, though, on the fourth stage—which he described as the ability to par-
ticipate fully in the prosperity that this nation enjoys. In other words, economic
power.27
Styles of Support: Narration and Citation
Most of the forms of support discussed in the preceding section could be presented
in either of two ways: through narration or through citation. Narration involves
telling a story with your information. You put it in the form of a small drama,
with a beginning, middle, and end. For example, Evan McCarley of the University
of Mississippi narrated the following example in his speech on the importance of
drug courts:
Oakland contractor Josef Corbin has a lot to be proud of. Last year his firm,
Corbin Building Inc., posted revenue of over 3 million dollars after funding
dozens of urban restoration projects. His company was ranked as one of the
800 fastest-growing companies in the country, all due to what his friends call
his motivation for success. Unfortunately, Corbin used this motivation to rob
and steal on the streets of San Francisco to support a heroin and cocaine habit.
narration The presentation of speech
supporting material as a story with a
beginning, middle, and end.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
The Ethics of Support
Have you ever “stretched” supporting
material to help it conform to a point you
were trying to make? (An example might
be citing an “expert” for an idea of your
own when discussing a social issue with a
friend.) How far can you stretch the facts
without violating ethical standards?
UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
Plagiarism in a Digital Age
Some experts believe that social media are redefining how
students understand the concept of authorship and origi-
nality. After all, the Internet is the home of file sharing that
allows us to download music, movies, and TV programs
without payment. Google and Wikipedia are our main por-
tals to random free information, also. It all seems to belong
to us, residing on our computer as it does. Information wants
to be free.
According to one expert on the topic, “Now we have a
whole generation of students who’ve grown up with
information that just seems to be hanging out there in
cyberspace and doesn’t seem to have an author. It’s pos-
sible to believe this information is just out there for anyone
to take.”28 Other experts beg to differ. They say students
are fully aware of what plagiarism is, online or off, and they
know it’s cheating. It’s just that it’s so easy to copy and
paste online material, and students like to save time wher-
ever they can.
Public speaking instructors are on the front lines of those
fighting plagiarism, because it’s so important for successful
student speakers to speak from the heart, in their own words
and with their own voice. Plus, citing research enhances
credibility. Plagiarism in public speaking isn’t just cheating,
it’s ineffective.
The general rule for the digital age is as follows: Thou shalt
not cut and paste into a final draft—not for a paper, and
not for a speech. Cutting and pasting is fine for research,
but everything that’s cut and pasted should be placed in a
separate “research” file, complete with a full citation for the
website you found it in. Then switch to your “draft” file to put
everything in your own words, and go back to the research
file to find the attribution information when you need to cite
facts and ideas that you got from those sources.
Have you ever had a problem with online plagiarism? What was the
outcome?
Sample Speech 341
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But when he was charged with possession, Josef was given the option to par-
ticipate in a state drug court, a program targeted at those recently charged with
drug use, possession, or distribution. The drug court offers offenders free drug
treatment, therapy, employment, education, and weekly meetings with a judge,
parole officer and other accused drug offenders.29
Citation, unlike narration, is a simple statement of the facts. Citation is shorter and
more precise than narration, in the sense that the source is carefully stated. Citation
will always include such phrases as, “According to the July 25, 2016, edition of
Time magazine,” or, “As Mr. Smith made clear in an interview last April 24.” Evan
McCarley cited statistics later in his speech on drug courts:
Fortunately, Corbin’s story, as reported in the May 30th San Francisco Chroni-
cle, is not unique, since there are currently over 300 drug courts operating in
21 states, turning first-time and repeat offenders into successful citizens with a
70% success rate.30
Some forms of support, such as anecdotes, are inherently more likely to be
expressed as narration. Statistics, on the other hand, are nearly always cited rather
than narrated. However, when you are using examples, quotation/testimony, defi-
nitions, and analogies, you often have a choice.
Sample Speech
The following sample speech was presented by Andrew Neylon, whose story began
this chapter. When Andrew was a student at Ball State University, he presented this
speech at the National Forensics Association National Tournament.
A full outline for Andrew’s speech might appear like the one below. This is an
expansion of the outline shown on page 326, which now includes subpoints and
transitions. Numbers in parentheses correspond to the numbered paragraphs of
the speech.
Speech Outline
The Amazing Eyeborg
INTRODUCTION
I. Attention-getter: “For me, the world is still a lot like a black and white tele-
vision.” (1)
II. Thesis statement: The eyeborg, which allows color-blind people to hear
color, has amazing implications for human evolution. (2–4)
III. Preview main points: To truly see the eyeborg for what it is, we’ll first take a
look at the eye itself, then look up some applications, and finally some im-
plications for the body. (5)
BODY
I. The eyeborg opens up a new world for the color blind. (6–7)
A. The eye is made up of rods and cones. (7)
1. Rods affect distance and acuity vision.
2. Cones make up the ability to see color.
a. Cones are divided into three sets—red, blue, and green.
b. Cones combine to form roughly 10 million shades.
c. The color blind have only one set of cones. (8)
citation A brief statement of support-
ing material in a speech.
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B. The eyeborg functions by changing color to sound. (9)
1. The device detects the color frequency of the item.
2. It turns that color frequency it into a sound frequency.
3. It passes the information to a chip installed in the user’s head.
Transition: The eyeborg may be Harbisson’s pet project, but it suggests a wealth of
opportunities . . .
Preview of second subpoint (10)
II. The eyeborg has amazing applications. (10)
A. The eyeborg has amazing applications for the color blind (11–12)
B. The eyeborg has amazing applications for all human beings.
1. The eyeborg can enable you to listen to the colors of artwork. (12)
2. The eyeborg can enable you to listen to the colors of a supermarket. (12)
3. The eyeborg can enable you to perceive celebrities in a whole new
way. (13)
Transition (14)
II. The eyeborg also has amazing implications. (14)
A. The eyeborg augments a physical sense. (15)
B. The eyeborg suggests that other physical senses can be augmented. (16)
C. The eyeborg allows humans to become cyborgs. (17)
Transition (18)
CONCLUSION
I. Review: (19)
II. Final Remarks: (20)
Andrew collected his supporting material mostly from online sources, as seen
in the following bibliography:
Bibliography
Achromatopsia.info. (n.d.) Colorblindness and achromatopsia. Retrieved
from http://www.achromatopsia.info/color-blindness/.
Harbisson, N. (2012, June). I listen to color. TEDGlobal. Retrieved from
Lee, J. 8. (2012, July 2). A surgical implant for seeing colors through sound.
New York Times. Retrieved from http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/02/
a-surgical-implant-for-seeing- colors-through-sound/.
Mills, C. (2012, July 10). Colourblind artist surgically implants an eyeborg to see
through sound. Gizmodo. Retrieved from http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2012/07/
colourblind-artist-surgically-implants-an-eyeborg-tosee-through-sound/.
Newitz, A. (2013, December 2). The first person in the world to become a
government-recognized cyborg. Gizmodo. Retrieved from http://io9.gizmodo.
com/the-first-person-in-the-world-to-become-a-government-re-1474975237.
Swift, E. (2014, February 18). The sound of colour. Haft2. Retrieved from
http://www.haft2.com/2014/02/18/the-sound-of-colour/.
As you read Andrew’s speech, notice how he carefully chooses various types of
supporting material to back up what he has to say.
http://www.achromatopsia.info/color-blindness/
http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/02/a-surgical-implant-for-seeing-colors-
http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2012/07/colourblind-artist-surgically-implants-an-eyeborg-tosee-through-sound/
http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-first-person-in-the-world-to-become-a-government-re-1474975237
http://www.haft2.com/2014/02/18/the-sound-of-colour/
Rods
Cones
Rods
Sample Speech 343
9780190297084_ch12_322-347.indd 343 10/04/16 08:33 PM
1 “For me, the world is still a lot like a black and white television.”
2 So noted Northern Irish visual artist and activist Neil Harbisson in a recent
speech at TEDGlobal in Edinburgh. Harbisson has achromatopsia, an eye con-
dition characterized by little color vision and low visual acuity. For many of
you, the mere mention of color blindness will flood your mind with questions.
Can Harbisson tell your hair color? What does he see when he looks at the sky?
Does he need a cane? Most importantly—who dresses him?
3 I know these questions all too well. Like Harbisson, I have achromatopsia. I’m
legally blind and completely color blind. For people like Harbisson and myself,
the world can seem like a strange, scary place—that’s why Harbisson did some-
thing about it.
4 In his TED Talk, Harbisson unveiled the eyeborg, a small sensor attached to his
head coupled with a computer chip implanted in his neck, to translate color into
sound. Each color is given a unique tonal frequency, developed through eight
years of collaborative research between Harbisson
and his colleagues. The device allows Harbisson to
interact with his world in a unique way.
5 Harbisson is more than just a groundbreaker, and,
as a recent issue of Gizmodo notes—he’s “paving
the way for greater acceptance of cybernetics in
our culture,” realizing two hundred years of scien-
tific research in his quest to push the boundaries
of the body. To truly see the eyeborg for what it is,
we’ll first take a look at the eye itself, then look up
some applications, before seeing eye to eye with
some implications for the body.
6 To begin, let’s take a closer look at the eye itself:
First, a brief breakdown of the eye and color blind-
ness, and second, how the eyeborg functions and
addresses those concerns.
7 To fully understand the need for the eyeborg, we
need to start by explaining a bit about how the eye
works. For some of you this may seem rudimen-
tary, but experience has taught me that the con-
cept of color blindness is a toughie for most seeing
folks. Essentially, your eye is made up of rods
and cones. Rods affect distance and acuity vision,
while cones make up the ability to see color. Cones
are divided into three sets—red, blue, and green—
which combine to form the roughly 10 million
shades perceived by the human eye.
8 Those with all three sets of functioning cones are called tri-chromats—but Har-
bisson and I are considered mono-chromats. We only have one set of cones to
reflect on, and without any other cones to play off, we essentially see things in
two dimensions—as a black and white television. This raises a host of problems
Andrew begins with a quotation that
captures his audience’s attention.
He defines a key term . . .
. . . and offers some examples in the form
of intriguing questions.
He shows the personal importance of this
topic and enhances his credibility by citing
personal experience.
He defines a second key term . . .
. . . and shows a photograph of Harbisson
wearing the eyeborg.
He cites a striking quotation . . .
. . . and previews his main points.
He previews his first main point and its
subpoints.
He begins to develop his first main point,
provides a concise description of what he
is talking about . . .
. . . and shows a diagram to illustrate.
This analogy compares color blindness to
black and white television.
SAMPLE SPEECH Andrew Neylon
The Amazing Eyeborg
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large and small. I can’t see the colors of street-lights, thus I can’t drive. Harbisson
can’t tell what color his clothes are—hence his donning of lime green pants for
his TED Global Talk. More importantly, the color blind find themselves continu-
ally negotiating a world designed for the color seeing. Color films aren’t shot with
gray in mind, restaurant menus aren’t high-contrast, and, naggingly, you still
have to match for a speech tournament. Clearly, I didn’t pick this outfit out . . .
9 Which brings us to the electronic eye, or eyeborg, as Harbisson calls it. The
eyeborg is the result of eight painstaking years of scientific labor. The device,
which Harbisson wears on his head, detects the color frequency of the item that
is passed in front of it, turns it into a sound frequency and passes the infor-
mation to a chip installed at the back of Harbisson’s head. He then is able to
hear the color through bone conduction, or sound waves that are created as they
pass through the bones of the skull to the inner ear. Essentially, he’s created a
robotic eye capable of detecting the colors around him. Listen for a moment to
this recording. (Play it) This is the sound of the color blue.
10 The eyeborg may be Harbisson’s pet project, but it suggests a wealth of oppor-
tunities for those seeking to experience their world in a new way. First, we can
examine its sensory applications, and second we’ll consider how the eyeborg
could someday change our cultural interactions.
11 First, the eyeborg allows the color blind to, for the first time, enter the color seeing
world. For Harbisson, the device has changed his life. He now feels “attachment
to colors,” and has slowly learned about the color, saturation, and hues that color
your life. Originally the eyeborg had only six frequencies, but now Harbisson is
so good at distinguishing them that he hears 360 microtones in an octave. Where
there was once just a single sound for green, there are now gradations for lime,
forest, kelly, and seafoam. And, according to a recent program on Public Radio
International, “the next update for Harbisson’s electronic eye will let him hear
colors invisible to the human eye—those in the ultraviolet range. He said he’ll be
able to detect which days will be dangerous for sunbathing.”
12 This sensory application dramatically changes the everyday experiences of the
color blind. Visiting an art museum, oftentimes a bit of a bore for the color blind,
yields new excitement for the user who can listen to a Picasso. Harbisson also
enjoys walking in supermarkets, which he likens to being in a nightclub, due to
all of the different audio sensations. As he puts it, the world is full of different
melodies.
13 So the eyeborg is at the intersection between the senses and culture, because
of its ability to transform single-sense experiences into multi-faceted ones. For
example, Harbisson suggests getting kids to eat vegetables by assembling food
according to a choice of song. Additionally, continued use of the sensor leads to
an association between the tonal quality of the eyeborg and the facial features
of the people one encounters. For example, Nicole Kidman and Prince Charles
have similar sounding eyes—an entirely new way to perceive celebrity. Because
the eyeborg gives sound to color, it also gives color to sound. To Harbisson,
listening to Mozart is yellow—Justin Bieber, naturally, is pink. Here are Dr.
Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” and Hitler’s “Mein Kampf” transformed
into paintings.
14 The eyeborg is an experimental technology, and likely a ways from mass pro-
duction. Still, its implications for our understanding of our senses, and most
importantly—the millennial definition of the body—are staggering.
15 Harbisson’s device reframes the idea of disability adaptation entirely. One of
the most intriguing elements of the eyeborg is its very nature. It doesn’t directly
His examples include a humorous one,
which supports the mood of his speech.
He explains this subpoint with a series of
sub-subpoints.
He defines another key term, “bone
conduction.”
And he plays a brief recording as an
illustration.
He transitions to his next subpoint . . .
. . . and previews his sub-subpoints.
He begins to develop his next subpoint . . .
. . . provides a quotation from one of his
research sources . . .
. . . provides examples . . .
. . . and finishes off with a longer quotation.
He provides examples to help develop
this idea.
Examples help illustrate each of his points.
Transition to next point.
Development of next point.
345
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CHAPTER 12 Review
substitute an experience—that is, it isn’t intended (like, say, a prosthetic arm)
to directly replace a sensory experience. Harbisson didn’t opt to fix his own
disability—he augmented it. He’s found a way outside of conventional linear
thinking to allow us to engage in the world without feeling fixed.
16 Second, it’s not just for the color blind, either. What began as an ingenious way
to spruce up Harbisson’s wardrobe could become much more. One of the most
exciting statements Harbisson made was his own acknowledgment that “the day
we start developing applications for our bodies instead of our phones will be an
exciting one.” These adaptations could become standard. Our senses need not
remain disparate.
17 Finally, Harbisson is a cyborg. He explained to BBC magazine that “It’s not the
union between the eyeborg and my head that converts me into a cyborg but the
union between the software and my brain.” This suggests a profound shift in our
view of the body. While often relegated to Star Trek, the day of the cyborg may be
rapidly approaching.
18 We have grappled with the idea of body modification since Mary Shelley penned
Frankenstein in 1818—but this is no science fiction tale. As humans continue to
develop, we will increasingly have to grapple with the relationship between man
and technology. Harbisson successfully argued with British authorities that he
should be allowed to wear the device in his passport picture, on the basis that
it is part of his body. This is an early example of the legal questions to come.
We may be fast approaching the day of electronic kinship—finally singing Whit-
man’s Body Electric.
19 We have seen today just how amazing the eyeborg is. We began by examining
the way the eye works, and how the eyeborg opens up a host of possibilities for
the color blind. We then looked at some applications to see how the eyeborg rep-
resents the first bloom in our changing perception of the body’s ability to adapt,
interact with, and master the world.
20 To someone who can’t see color, the beauty of the world can sometimes seem
hazy and adrift. But Harbisson will be the first to tell you that his foray into the
color-seeing world has opened up the eyes of so many. Equally as important, it
raises fundamental questions about who we want to become in the technology
boom fast approaching. By understanding the eyeborg itself, its applications and
implications, we can see the eyeborg for what it is: A giant step on the road to full
sensory discovery. And if I can dress myself in the hotel room—well, we all win.
The comparison to a prosthetic arm helps
him explain the difference between fixing
a disability and augmenting it.
He begins his next subpoint . . .
. . . and uses a quotation as support.
Next subpoint.
Quotation again.
Here he provides an analogy to science
fiction . . .
. . . an example . . .
. . . a transition to his conclusion, and a
reference to Walt Whitman’s 1855 poem, “I
Sing the Body Electric.”
He begins his conclusion with a review of
main points.
He finishes his conclusion with a
memorable statement.
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.com.
Objective Describe different types of speech
outlines and their functions.
• A working outline is used to map out the structure of
your speech, in rough form.
12.1
• A formal outline uses a standard format and a consistent
set of symbols.
• Speaking notes are used to jog your memory while giving a
speech. Like a working outline, they are for your eyes only.
> Explain the primary differences among working out-
lines, formal outlines, and speaking notes.
> Which type of outline would be most important for
your next speech?
> What style of speaking notes would you use for your
next speech?
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.com
CHAPTER 12 Organization and Support346
9780190297084_ch12_322-347.indd 346 10/07/16 12:47 PM
Objective Construct an effective speech outline
using the organizing principles described in this chapter.
• Principles for the effective construction of outlines are based
on the use of standard symbols and a standard format.
• The rule of division requires at least two divisions of
every point or subpoint.
• The rule of parallel wording requires that points at each
level of division be worded in a similar manner whenever
possible.
> What are the standard symbols used in a formal
outline?
> Which principle of outlining is least intuitive for you?
Which one is most intuitive?
> How would you divide your next speech into main
points and subpoints?
Objective Choose an appropriate organizational
pattern for your speech.
• The organization of ideas should follow a pattern, such
as time, space, topic, problem-solution, cause-effect, or
Monroe’s motivated sequence.
• Each pattern of organization has its own advantages in
helping your audience understand and remember what
you have to say.
> Why is it important to organize your ideas according
to a pattern?
> When should you use each of the six patterns of orga-
nization discussed in this chapter?
> Which pattern of organization would be best for your
next speech?
Objective Develop a compelling introduction
and conclusion, and use effective transitions at key points
in your speech.
• The main idea of the speech is established in the intro-
duction, developed in the body, and reviewed in the
conclusion.
• The introduction will also gain the audience’s attention,
preview the main points, set the mood and tone of the
speech, and demonstrate the importance of the topic to
the audience.
• The conclusion will review your main points and supply
the audience with a memory aid in the form of compel-
ling final remarks.
• Effective transitions keep your message moving forward
and demonstrate how your ideas are related.
> Why are the beginning and end of a speech so impor-
tant? Why are transitions?
12.2
12.3
12.4
> What would be the most important function of the
introduction of your next speech?
> What idea would you like to leave your audience with
in your next speech?
Objective Choose supporting material that will
help make your points clear, interesting, memorable, and
convincing.
• Supporting materials are the facts and information you
use to back up what you say.
• Types of support include definitions, examples, statistics,
analogies, anecdotes, quotations, and testimony.
• Support may be narrated or cited.
> Give examples of five forms of support that
could be used for a speech on financing a college
education.
> Which form of support do you find to be most effec-
tive for most speeches?
> What are the main forms of support that you would
use for your next speech?
KEY TERMS
analogy p. 339
anecdote p. 339
basic speech structure p. 325
cause-effect pattern p. 330
citation p. 341
climax pattern p. 329
conclusion (of a speech) p. 334
factual example p. 338
formal outline p. 325
hypothetical example p. 338
introduction (of a speech) p. 332
narration p. 340
problem-solution pattern p. 330
space pattern p. 329
statistic p. 338
testimony p. 339
time pattern p. 329
topic pattern p. 329
transition p. 334
working outline p. 325
12.5
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CHAPTER 12 Review
ACTIVITIES
1. Dividing Ideas For practice in the principle of divi-
sion, divide each of the following into three to five
subcategories:
a. Clothing
b. Academic studies
c. Crime
d. Health care
e. Fun
f. Charities
2. Organizational Effectiveness Take any written statement
at least three paragraphs long that you consider effective.
This statement might be an editorial in your local news-
paper, a short magazine article, or even a section of one
of your textbooks. Outline this statement according to the
rules discussed here. Was the statement well organized?
Did its organization contribute to its effectiveness?
3. The Functions of Support For practice in recognizing the
functions of support, identify three instances of support
in each of the speeches at the end of Chapters 13 and 14.
Explain the function of each instance of support. (Keep
in mind that any instance of support could perform more
than one function.)
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9780190297084_ch13_348-371.indd 349 10/06/16 10:34 AM
Informative Speaking
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Types of Informative Speaking 352
By Content
By Purpose
Informative Versus Persuasive Topics 353
An Informative Topic Tends to Be Noncontroversial
The Informative Speaker Does Not Intend to Change Audience Attitudes
Techniques of Informative Speaking 353
Define a Specific Informative Purpose
Create Information Hunger
Make It Easy to Listen
Use Clear, Simple Language
Use a Clear Organization and Structure
Use Supporting Material Effectively
Emphasize Important Points
Generate Audience Involvement
Using Visual Aids 361
Types of Visual Aids
Using Presentation Software
Alternative Media for Presenting Graphics
Rules for Using Visual Aids
Sample Speech 365
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
13.1
Distinguish among the main
types of informative speaking.
13.2
Describe the differences between
informative and persuasive
speaking.
13.3
Increase your informative
effectiveness by using the
techniques discussed in this
chapter.
13.4
Use visual aids appropriately and
effectively.
13
349
JENNI CHANG AND LISA DAZOLS met in San Francisco. Jenni is a
business manager for eBay, and Lisa is a licensed clinical social worker
who works in HIV care. When they became a couple, they realized
that they both wanted to follow a life of adventure. This led them to
travel extensively, and as they did so they realized that their travels
might have a larger meaning, both to themselves and to the world.
They decided to document their travels on video, in spite of the fact
that neither of them had any experience with filmmaking or journal-
ism. They bought a camera and a book on how to make a documen-
tary, and set out on a 15-country sojourn to document what they
called “stories of hope.”
Their travels led them through Asia, Africa, and South America;
they traveled more than 50,000 miles in 342 days, and conducted 55
interviews. Their mission was to interview “Supergays,” the people
who were leading the movement for gay, lesbian, and transgender
equality in the developing world. They titled the resulting film Out &
Around and produced it in partnership with the It Gets Better Project,
which was created “to show young LGBT people the levels of happi-
ness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach—if they can just
get through their teen years.”1
The film was broadcast on the Logo channel in 2015 and has been
seen in film festivals around the world. In 2015 they also chronicled
their adventure in a TED Talk, which has been viewed more than a
million times. That speech is reproduced at the end of this chapter.
Jenni and Lisa are now happily, legally married and living back
home in San Francisco. In March 2016, Jenni gave birth to their
daughter, Charlie Grace Dazols.
Jenni Chang and
Lisa Dazols’s
TED Talk demonstrates that
personal experience can be
organized and developed
into an informative speech
presentation that is
meaningful and important.
?
What personal experience
have you had that could form
the basis for an informa-
tive speech? How could you
develop such a speech by
applying the information in
this chapter?
?
What speakers have you
encountered who have the
ability to present meaning-
ful information in a clear
and interesting way? What
lessons can you learn from
them?
Jenni Chang and Lisa Dazols had a wealth of experience, information, and
ideas to transmit to a specific audience. One of the things making that difficult
is the huge amount of information competing for our attention these days.
Some people call this the age of information; others call it the age of informa-
tion glut, data smog, and clutter. There are, in fact, a hundred names for it, but
they all deal with the same idea: There is just too much information. And the
amount of information is increasing exponentially. One information expert
estimates that every 2 days now we create as much information as we did from
the dawn of civilization up until 2003.2
Social scientists tell us that the information glut leads to information
overload (see Chapter 10), a form of psychological stress that occurs when
people become confused and have trouble sorting through all the infor-
mation available to them.3 Some experts use another term, information
anxiety, for the same phenomenon. To check on how information overload
affects you personally, do the self-assessment on p. 351.
9780190297084_ch13_348-371.indd 350 10/06/16 10:34 AM
Are You Overloaded with Information?
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
information anxiety The psychologi-
cal stress that occurs when dealing with
too much information.
knowledge The understanding
acquired by making sense of the raw
material of information.
Problems in informa-
tive speaking are often
the result of informa-
tion overload—on the
speaker’s part and the
audience’s. For each
statement to the right,
select “often,” “some-
times,” or “seldom”
to assess your level of
information overload.
1. I forget information I need to know.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
2. I have difficulty concentrating on important tasks.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
3. When I go online, I feel anxious about the work that I don’t have time to do.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
4. I have email messages sitting in my inbox that are more than 2 weeks old.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
5. I constantly check my online services because I am afraid that if I don’t, I will never catch up.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
6. I find myself easily distracted by things that allow me to avoid work I need to do.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
7. I feel fatigued by the amount of information I encounter.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
8. I delay making decisions because of too many choices.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
9. I make wrong decisions because of too many choices.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
10. I spend too much time seeking information that is nice to know rather than information that I need to know.
OFTEN SOMETIMES SELDOM
Scoring: Give yourself 3 points for each
“often,” 2 points for each “sometimes,”
and 1 point for each “seldom.” If your
score is:
10–15: Information overload is not
a big problem for you. However, it’s
probably still a significant problem
for at least some members of your
audience, so try to follow the guide-
lines for informative speaking out-
lined in this chapter.
16–24: You have a normal level of
information overload. The guide-
lines in this chapter will help you
be a more effective speaker.
25–30: You have a high level of infor-
mation overload. Along with observ-
ing the guidelines in this chapter, you
might also want to search online for
guidelines to help you overcome this
problem.
As Chang and Dazols discovered when planning their speech, the informative
speaker’s responsibility is not just to provide new information. Informative speak-
ing, when it’s done effectively, seeks to relieve information overload by turning
information into knowledge for an audience. Information is the raw materials, the
sometimes-contradictory facts and competing claims that rain down on public
consciousness. Knowledge is what you get when you are able to make sense of and
use those raw materials. Effective public speakers filter, organize, and illustrate
information in order to reach small audiences with messages tailored for them, in
an environment in which they can see if the audience is “getting it.” If they aren’t,
the speaker can adjust the message and work with the audience until they do.
Informative speaking goes on all around you: in your professors’ lectures or in
a mechanic’s explanation of how to keep your car from breaking down. You engage
cultural idiom
rain down on: fall like rain, overwhelm
351
9780190297084_ch13_348-371.indd 351 10/06/16 10:34 AM
Informative Speaking
description A type of speech that
uses details to create a “word picture” of
something’s essential factors.
explanations Speeches or presenta-
tions that clarify ideas and concepts
already known but not understood by
an audience.
instructions Remarks that teach
something to an audience in a logical,
step-by-step manner.
CHAPTER 13 Informative Speaking352
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in this type of speaking frequently whether you realize it or not. Sometimes it is
formal, as when you give a report in class. At other times, it is more casual, as when
you tell a friend how to prepare your favorite dish. The main objective of this chap-
ter is to give you the skills you need to enhance all of your informative speaking.
Types of Informative Speaking
There are several types of informative speaking. The primary types have to do with
the content and purpose of the speech.
By Content
Informative speeches are generally categorized according to their content, and
include the following types.
Speeches About Objects This type of informative speech is about anything that
is tangible (that is, capable of being seen or touched). Speeches about objects
might include an appreciation of the Grand Canyon (or any other natural wonder)
or a demonstration of the newest smartphone (or any other product).
Speeches About Processes A process is any series of actions that leads to a spe-
cific result. If you spoke on the process of aging, the process of learning to juggle,
or the process of breaking into a social networking business, you would be giving
this type of speech.
Speeches About Events You would be giving this type of informative speech
if your topic dealt with anything notable that happened, was happening, or
might happen: an upcoming protest against hydraulic fracturing (“fracking”), for
example, or the prospects of your favorite baseball team winning the national
championship.
Speeches About Concepts Concepts include intangible ideas, such as beliefs,
theories, ideas, and principles. If you gave an informative speech about post-
modernism, vegetarianism, or any other “ism,” you would be giving this type of
speech. Other topics would include everything from New Age religions to theories
about extraterrestrial life to rules for making millions of dollars.
By Purpose
We also distinguish among types of informative speeches depending on the speak-
er’s purpose. We ask, “Does the speaker seek to describe, explain, or instruct?”
Descriptions A speech of description is the most straightforward type of infor-
mative speech. You might introduce a new product like a wearable computer to a
group of customers, or you might describe what a career in nursing would be like.
Whatever its topic, a descriptive speech uses details to create a “word picture” of
the essential factors that make that thing what it is.
Explanations Explanations clarify ideas and concepts that are already known
but not understood by an audience. For example, your audience members might
already know that a U.S. national debt exists, but they might be baffled by the
reasons why it has become so large. Explanations often deal with the question of
why or how. Why do we have to wait until the age of 21 to drink legally? How did
China evolve from an impoverished economy to a world power in a single genera-
tion? Why did tuition need to be increased this semester?
Instructions Instructions teach something to the audience in a logical, step-by-
step manner. They are the basis of training programs and orientations. They often
Techniques of Informative Speaking 353
9780190297084_ch13_348-371.indd 353 10/06/16 10:34 AM
deal with the question of how to. This type of speech sometimes features a demon-
stration or a visual aid. Thus, if you were giving instructions on “how to promote
your career via social networking sites,” you might demonstrate by showing the
social media profile of successful people. For instructions on “how to perform
CPR,” you could use a volunteer or a dummy.
These types of informative speeches aren’t mutually exclusive. As you’ll see
in the sample speech at the end of this chapter, there is considerable overlap, as
when you give a speech about objects that has the purpose of explaining them.
Still, even this imperfect categorization demonstrates how wide a range of infor-
mative topics is available. One final distinction we need to make, however, is the
difference between an informative and a persuasive speech topic.
Informative Versus Persuasive Topics
There are many similarities between an informative and a persuasive speech. In an
informative speech, for example, you are constantly trying to “persuade” your audi-
ence to listen, understand, and remember. In a persuasive speech, you “inform”
your audience about your arguments, your evidence, and so on. However, two basic
characteristics differentiate an informative topic from a persuasive topic.
An Informative Topic Tends to Be Noncontroversial
In an informative speech, you generally do not present information that your audi-
ence is likely to disagree with. Again, this is a matter of degree. For example, you
might want to give a purely informative talk on the differences between hospital
births and home-based midwife births by simply describing what the practitioners
of each method believe and do. By contrast, a talk either boosting or criticizing one
method over the other would clearly be persuasive.
The noncontroversial nature of informative speaking does not mean that your
speech topic should be uninteresting to your audience; rather, it means that your
approach to it should not engender conflict. You could speak about the animal
rights movement, for example, by explaining the points of view of both sides in
an interesting but objective manner.
The Informative Speaker Does Not
Intend to Change Audience Attitudes
The informative speaker does seek a response (such as attention and interest) from
the listener and does try to make the topic important to the audience. But the speak-
er’s primary intent is not to change attitudes or to make the audience members feel
differently about the topic. For example, an informative speaker might explain how
a microwave oven works but will not try to “sell” a specific brand of oven to the
audience.
The speaker’s intent is best expressed in a specific informative purpose state-
ment, which brings us to the first of our techniques of informative speaking.
Techniques of Informative Speaking
The techniques of informative speaking are based on a number of principles of
human communication in general, and public speaking specifically, that we have
discussed in earlier chapters. The most important principles to apply to informa-
tive speaking include those that help an audience understand and care about your
speech. Let’s look at how these principles apply to specific techniques.
informative purpose statement
A complete statement of the objective
of a speech, worded to stress audience
knowledge and/or ability.
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UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
How Culture Affects Information
Cultural background is always a part of informative speak-
ing, although it’s not always easy to spot. Sometimes this
is because of ethnocentrism, the belief in the inherent
superiority of one’s own ethnic group or culture. Accord-
ing to communication scholars Larry Samovar and Richard
Porter, ethnocentrism is exemplified by what is taught in
schools.
Each culture, whether consciously or unconsciously, tends to
glorify its historical, scientific, and artistic accomplishments
while frequently minimizing the accomplishments of other
cultures. In this way, schools in all cultures, whether or not
they intend to, teach ethnocentrism. For instance, the next
time you look at a world map, notice that the United States
is prominently located in the center—unless, of course, you
are looking at a Chinese or Russian map. Many students in the
United States, if asked to identify the great books of the world,
would likely produce a list of books mainly by Western, white,
male authors. This attitude of subtle ethnocentrism, or the
reinforcing of the values, beliefs, and prejudices of the culture,
is not a uniquely American phenomenon. Studying only the
Koran in Iranian schools or only the Old Testament in Israeli
classrooms is also a quiet form of ethnocentrism.
From Samovar, L., & Porter, R. (2010). Communication between cultures
(5th ed.). Boston: Wadsworth. © 2010. Reprinted with permission of Wadsworth,
an imprint of the Wadsworth Group, a division of Cengage Learning.
How would culture affect the informative topic you have chosen?
Define a Specific Informative Purpose
As Chapter 11 explained, any good speech must be based on a purpose statement
that is audience oriented, precise, and attainable. When you are preparing an infor-
mative speech, it is especially important to define in advance, for yourself, a clear
informative purpose. An informative purpose statement will generally be worded
to stress audience knowledge, ability, or both:
After listening to my speech, my audience will be able to recall the three most
important questions to ask when shopping for a smartphone.
After listening to my speech, my audience will be able to identify the four rea-
sons that online memes go viral.
After listening to my speech, my audience will be able to discuss the pros and
cons of using drones in warfare.
Notice that in each of these purpose statements a specific verb such as to recall,
to identify, or to discuss points out what the audience will be able to do after hear-
ing the speech. Other key verbs for informative purpose statements include these:
Accomplish Choose Explain Name Recognize
Analyze Contrast Integrate Operate Review
Apply Describe List Perform Summarize
A clear purpose statement will lead to a clear thesis statement. As you remem-
ber from Chapter 11, a thesis statement presents the central idea of your speech.
Sometimes your thesis statement for an informative speech will just preview the
central idea:
Today’s smartphones have so many features that it is difficult for the unin-
formed consumer to make a choice.
Understanding how memes go viral could make you very wealthy someday.
Soldiers and civilians have different views on the morality of drones.
information hunger Audience desire, created by
a speaker, to learn information.
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At other times, the thesis statement for an informative speech will
delineate the main points of that speech:
When shopping for a smartphone, the informed consumer seeks
to balance price, dependability, and user friendliness.
The four basic principles of aerodynamics—lift, thrust, drag, and
gravity—can explain why memes go viral.
Drones can save warrior lives but cost the lives of civilians.
Setting a clear informative purpose will help keep you focused as you
prepare and present your speech.
Create Information Hunger
An effective informative speech creates information hunger: a
reason for your audience members to want to listen to and learn from
your speech. To do so, you can use the analysis of communication
functions discussed in Chapter 1 as a guide. You read there that com-
munication of all types helps us meet our physical needs, identity
needs, social needs, and practical needs. In informative speaking, you
could tap into your audience members’ physical needs by relating
your topic to their survival or to the improvement of their living con-
ditions. If you gave a speech on food (eating it, cooking it, or shop-
ping for it), you would be dealing with that basic physical need. In
the same way, you could appeal to identity needs by showing your
audience members how to be respected—or simply by showing them
that you respect them. You could relate to social needs by showing
them how your topic could help them be well liked. Finally, you can
relate your topic to practical audience needs by telling your audience
members how to succeed in their courses, their job search, or their
quest for the perfect outfit.
Make It Easy to Listen
Keep in mind the complex nature of listening, discussed in Chapter 5,
and make it easy for your audience members to hear, pay attention,
understand, and remember. This means first that you should speak
clearly and with enough volume to be heard by all your listeners. It
also means that as you put your speech together, you should take into
consideration techniques that recognize the way human beings process
information.
Limit the Amount of Information You Present Remember that you
probably won’t have enough time to transmit all your research to
your audience in one sitting. It’s better to make careful choices about
the three to five main ideas you want to get across and then develop
those ideas fully. Remember, too much information leads to over-
load, anxiety, and a lack of attention on the part of your audience.
Use Familiar Information to Increase Understanding of the Unfamiliar
Move your audience members from familiar information (on the basis
of your audience analysis) to your newer information. For example, if
you are giving a speech about how the stock market works, you could
compare the daily activity of a broker with that of a salesperson in a
retail store, or you could compare the idea of capital growth (a new
concept to some listeners) with interest earned in a savings account
(a more familiar concept).
CHECKLIST
Techniques of
Informative Speaking
Define a specific informative purpose.
Create information hunger by relating to
audience needs.
Make it easy for audience members to listen.
• Limit the amount of information presented.
• Use familiar information to introduce
unfamiliar information.
• Start with simple information before
moving to more complex ideas.
Use clear, simple language.
Use clear organization and structure.
Support and illustrate your points.
• Provide interesting, relevant facts and
examples, citing your sources.
• Use visual aids that help make your
points clear, interesting, and memorable.
Emphasize important points.
• Repeat key information in more than
one way.
• Use signposts: words or phrases that
highlight what you are about to say.
Generate audience involvement.
• Personalize the speech.
• Use audience participation.
• Use volunteers.
• Have a question-and-answer period at
the end.
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
The Ethics of Simplicity
Often, persuasive speakers use language
that is purposely complicated or
obscure in order to keep the audience
uninformed about some idea or piece
of information. Informative rather than
persuasive intent can often help clear the
air. Find any sales message (a print ad or
television commercial, for example) or
political message (a campaign speech,
perhaps) and see if you can transform it
into an informative speech. What are the
differences?
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Use Simple Information to Build Up Understanding of Complex Information
Just as you move your audience members from the familiar to the unfamiliar, you
can move them from the simple to the complex. An average college audience, for
example, can understand the complexities of genetic modification if you begin
with the concept of inherited characteristics.
Use Clear, Simple Language
Another technique for effective informative speaking is to use clear language, which
means using precise, simple wording and avoiding jargon. As you plan your speech,
consult online dictionaries such as Dictionary.com to make sure you are selecting
precise vocabulary. Remember that picking the right word seldom means using a
word that is unfamiliar to your audience; in fact, just the opposite is true. Impor-
tant ideas do not have to sound complicated. Along with simple, precise vocabu-
lary, you should also strive for direct, short sentence structure. For example, when
Warren Buffett, one of the world’s most successful investors, wanted to explain the
impact of taxes on investing, he didn’t use unusual vocabulary or complicated sen-
tences. He explained it like this:
Suppose that an investor you admire and trust comes to you with an investment
idea. “This is a good one,” he says enthusiastically. “I’m in it, and I think you
should be, too.” Would your reply possibly be this? “Well, it all depends on what
my tax rate will be on the gain you’re saying we’re going to make. If the taxes
are too high, I would rather leave the money in my savings account, earning a
quarter of 1 percent.” So let’s forget about the rich and ultrarich going on strike
and stuffing their ample funds under their mattresses if—gasp—capital gains
rates and ordinary income rates are increased. The ultrarich, including me, will
forever pursue investment opportunities.4
Each idea within that explanation is stated directly, using simple, clear language.
Use a Clear Organization and Structure
Because of the way humans process information (that is, in a limited number of
chunks at any one time),5 organization is extremely important in an informative
speech. Rules for structure may be mere suggestions for other types of speeches, but
for informative speeches they are ironclad.
Chapter 12 discusses some of these rules:
• Limit your speech to three to five main points.
• Divide, coordinate, and order those main points.
• Use a strong introduction that previews your ideas.
• Use a conclusion that reviews your ideas and makes them memorable.
• Use transitions, internal summaries, and internal previews.
The repetition that is inherent in strong organization will help your audience
members understand and remember those points. This will be especially true if
you use a well-organized introduction, body, and conclusion.
The Introduction The following principles of organization from Chapter 12
become especially important in the introduction of an informative speech:
1. Establish the importance of your topic to your audience.
2. Preview the thesis, the one central idea you want your audience to remember.
3. Preview your main points.
For example, Kevin Allocca, the trends manager at YouTube, began his TED Talk
“Why Videos Go Viral” with the following introduction:
ASK YOURSELF
Do you organize
speeches in the order
ideas occur to you,
or do you plan the
organization more
strategically? How
could you organize
your speeches more
effectively?
?
vocal citation A simple, concise,
spoken statement of the source of your
evidence.
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I professionally watch YouTube videos. It’s true. So we’re going to talk a little bit
today about how videos go viral and then why that even matters. Web video has
made it so that any of us or any of the creative things that we do can become com-
pletely famous in a part of our world’s culture. Any one of you could be famous
on the Internet by next Saturday. But there are over 48 hours of video uploaded
to YouTube every minute. And of that, only a tiny percentage ever goes viral
and gets tons of views and becomes a cultural moment. So how does it happen?
Three things: tastemakers, communities of participation, and unexpectedness.6
The Body In the body of an informative speech, the following organizational
principles take on special importance:
1. Limit your division of main points to three to five subpoints.
2. Use transitions, internal summaries, and internal previews.
3. Order your points in the way that they will be easiest to understand and
remember.
Kevin Allocca followed these principles for organizing his speech on why some
videos go viral and some do not. He developed his speech with the following three
main points:
1. Tastemakers: Tastemakers like Jimmy Kimmel introduce us to new and
interesting things and bring them to a larger audience.
2. Communities of participation: A community of people who share this big
inside joke start talking about it and doing things with it.
3. Unexpectedness: In a world where more than 2 days of video get uploaded
every minute, only those that are truly unique can go viral.
The Conclusion Organizational principles are also important in the conclusion
of an informative speech:
1. Review your main points.
2. Remind your audience members of the importance of your topic to them.
3. Provide your audience with a memory aid.
For example, this is how Kevin Allocca concluded his speech on viral videos:
Tastemakers, creative participating communities, complete unexpectedness,
these are characteristics of a new kind of media and a new kind of culture where
anyone has access and the audience defines the popularity. One of the biggest
stars in the world right now, Justin Bieber, got his start on YouTube. No one has
to green-light your idea. And we all now feel some ownership in our own pop
culture. And these are not characteristics of old media, and they’re barely true of
the media of today, but they will define the entertainment of the future.
Use Supporting Material Effectively
Another technique for effective informative speaking has to do with the support-
ing material discussed in Chapter 12. All of the purposes of support (to clarify, to
prove, to make interesting, to make memorable) are essential to informative speak-
ing. Therefore, you should be careful to support your thesis in every way possible.
Notice the way in which Jenni and Lisa use solid supporting material in the sample
speech at the end of this chapter. In particular, notice their use of videos, which
can grab your audience members’ attention and keep them attuned to your topic
throughout your speech.
You should also try to include vocal citations, or brief explanations of where
your supporting material came from. These citations build the credibility of your
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explanations and increase audience trust in the accuracy of what you are saying.
For example, when Nicole Wilson of Berry College in Georgia gave a speech on
the need for new fire hydrants, she used the following vocal citation:
According to the March 12, 2014 Huffington Post, the contemporary fire hydrant
was actually designed in 1801 and hasn’t changed much in the last 213 years.
The main problem with these relics is how easily they break and deteriorate, and
hydrants are deteriorating throughout the country. According the New Jersey Star
Ledger of August 11, 2013, the 2013 New Jersey fire hydrant inspection revealed
that one in seven fire hydrants are currently out of order in Newark, with almost
500 that are completely useless to firefighters.7
By telling concisely and simply where her information came from, Nicole reassured
her audience that her statistics were credible.
Emphasize Important Points
One specific principle of informative speaking is to stress the important points in
your speech through repetition and the use of signposts.
Repetition Repetition is one of the age-old rules of learning. Human beings are
more likely to comprehend information that is stated more than once. This is espe-
cially true in a speaking situation, because, unlike a written paper, your audience
members cannot go back to reread something they have missed. If their minds have
wandered the first time you say something, they just might pick it up the second time.
Of course, simply repeating something in the same words might bore the
audience members who actually are paying attention, so effective speakers
learn to say the same thing in more than one way. Kathy Levine, a student at
Oregon State University, used this technique in her speech on contaminated
dental water:
The problem of dirty dental water is widespread. In a nationwide 20/20 investi-
gation, the water used in approximately 90% of dental offices is dirtier than the
water found in public toilets. This means that 9 out of 10 dental offices are using
dirty water on their patients.8
Redundancy can be effective when you use it to emphasize important points.9
It is ineffective only when (1) you are redundant with obvious, trivial, or boring
points or (2) you run an important point into the ground. There is no sure rule for
making certain you have not overemphasized a point. You just have to use your
best judgment to make sure that you have stated the point enough that your audi-
ence members get it without repeating it so often that they want to give it back.
Signposts Another way to emphasize important material is by using
signposts: words or phrases that emphasize the importance of what you are
about to say. You can state, simply enough, “What I’m about to say is important,”
or you can use some variation of that statement: “But listen to this . . . ,” or “The
most important thing to remember is . . . ,” or “The three keys to this situation
are . . . ,” and so on.
Generate Audience Involvement
The final technique for effective informative speaking is to get your audience involved
in your speech. Audience involvement is the level of commitment and attention
that listeners devote to a speech. Educational psychologists have long known that
the best way to teach people something is to have them do it; social psychologists
have added to this rule by proving, in many studies, that involvement in a message
increases audience comprehension of, and agreement with, that message.
signpost A phrase that emphasizes the
importance of upcoming material in a
speech.
audience involvement The level of
commitment and attention that listeners
devote to a speech.
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There are many ways to encourage audience involvement in your speech. One
way is by following the rules for good delivery by maintaining enthusiasm, energy,
eye contact, and so on. Other ways include personalizing your speech, using audi-
ence participation, using volunteers, and having a question-and-answer period.
Personalize Your Speech One way to encourage audience involvement is to give
audience members a human being to connect to. In other words, don’t be afraid
to be yourself and to inject a little of your own personality into the speech. If you
happen to be good at storytelling, make a narration part of your speech. If humor
is a personal strength, be funny. If you feel passion about your topic, show it. Cer-
tainly if you have any experience that relates to your topic, use it.
Kathryn Schulz, author of Being Wrong and a self-proclaimed “wrongologist,”
personalized her TED speech, “Being Wrong,” this way:
So it’s 1995, I’m in college, and a friend and I go on a road trip from Providence,
Rhode Island, to Portland, Oregon. And you know, we’re young and unem-
ployed, so we do the whole thing on back roads through state parks and national
forests—basically the longest route we can possibly take. And somewhere in the
middle of South Dakota, I turn to my friend and I ask her a question that’s been
bothering me for 2,000 miles. “What’s up with the Chinese character I keep
seeing by the side of the road?”
My friend looks at me totally blankly. There’s actually a gentleman in the front
row who’s doing a perfect imitation of her look. (Laughter) And I’m like, “You
know, all the signs we keep seeing with the Chinese character on them.” She just
stares at me for a few moments, and then she cracks up, because she figures out
what I’m talking about. And what I’m talking about is this:
Right: The Famous Chinese Character for Picnic Area.10
Another way to personalize your speech is to link it to the experience of audience
members . . . maybe even naming one or more.
Use Audience Participation Having your listeners actually do something
during your speech—audience participation—is another way to increase their
involvement in your message. For example, if you were giving a demonstration
on isometric exercises (which don’t require too much room for movement), you
could have the entire audience stand up and do one or two sample exercises. If
you were explaining how to fill out a federal income tax form, you could give each
class member a sample form to fill out as you explain it. Outlines and checklists
can be used in a similar manner for just about any speech. Here’s how one student
organization used audience participation to demonstrate the various restrictions
that were once placed on voting rights:
Voting is something that a lot of us may take for granted. Today, the only require-
ments for voting are that you are a U.S. citizen aged 18 or older who has lived
in the same place for at least 30 days and that you have registered. But it hasn’t
always been that way. Americans have had to struggle for the right to vote. I’d
like to illustrate this by asking everyone to please stand.
audience participation Listener
activity during a speech; a technique to
increase audience involvement.
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[Wait, prod class to stand.]
I’m going to ask some questions. If you answer no to any question, please sit
down.
Have you resided at the same address for at least 1 year? If not, sit down.
Residency requirements of more than 30 days weren’t abolished until 1970.
Are you white? If not, sit down. The 15th Amendment gave nonwhites the right
to vote in 1870, but many states didn’t enforce it until the late 1960s.
Are you male? If not, sit down. The 19th Amendment only gave women the right
to vote in 1920.
Do you own a home? If not, sit down. Through the mid-1800s only property
owners could vote.
Are you Protestant? If not, sit down. That’s right. Religious requirements existed
in the early days throughout the country.11
Use Volunteers Some points or actions are more easily demonstrated with one
or two volunteers. Selecting volunteers from the audience will increase the psy-
chological involvement of all audience members, because they will tend to iden-
tify with the volunteers.
Kathryn Schulz, in her speech on being wrong, subtly enlisted
volunteers when she wanted to impress an important point on her
audience. She began by addressing a rhetorical question to her entire
audience but then directed it to a few individuals in the front row:
So let me ask you guys something—or actually, let me ask you
guys something, because you’re right here: How does it feel—
emotionally—how does it feel to be wrong?
Schulz then listened to the responses and repeated them for the rest
of the audience:
Dreadful. Thumbs down. Embarrassing. . . . Thank you, these
are great answers, but they’re answers to a different question.
You guys are answering the question: How does it feel to realize
you’re wrong? When we’re wrong about something—not when
we realize it, but before that—it feels like being right.
Have a Question-and-Answer Period One way to increase audi-
ence involvement that is nearly always appropriate if time allows
is to answer questions at the end of your speech. You should
encourage your audience to ask questions. Solicit questions and
be patient waiting for the first one. Often no one wants to ask the
first question. When the questions do start coming, the following
suggestions might increase your effectiveness in answering them:
1. Listen to the substance of the question. Don’t zero in on irrele-
vant details; listen for the big picture, the basic, overall question
that is being asked. If you are not really sure what the substance
of a question is, ask the questioner to paraphrase it. Don’t be
afraid to let the questioners do their share of the work.
2. Paraphrase confusing or quietly asked questions. Use the
active listening skills described in Chapter 5. You can para-
phrase the question in just a few words: “If I understand your
question, you are asking ________________. Is that right?”
cultural idiom
zero in on: focus directly on
Source: By permission of Leigh Rubin and Creators Syndicate, Inc.
visual aids Graphic devices used in a
speech to illustrate or support ideas.
model (in speeches and presenta-
tions) A replica of an object being dis-
cussed. It is usually used when it would
be difficult or impossible to use the
actual object.
sound bite A brief recorded excerpt
from a longer statement.
wrap-around A brief introduction
before a visual aid is presented, accom-
panied by a brief conclusion afterward.
intro A brief explanation or comment
before a visual aid is used.
outro A brief summary or conclusion
after a visual aid has been used.
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3. Avoid defensive reactions to questions. Even if the questioner seems to be
calling you a liar or stupid or biased, try to listen to the substance of the
question and not to the possible personality attack.
4. Answer the question briefly. Then check the questioner’s comprehension of
your answer by observing his or her nonverbal response or by asking, “Does
that answer your question?”
Using Visual Aids
Visual aids are graphic devices used in a speech to illustrate or support ideas.
Although they can be used in any type of speech, they are especially important in
informative speeches. For example, they can be extremely useful when you want to
show how things look (photos of your trek to Nepal or the effects of malnutrition)
or how things work (a demonstration of a new ski binding or a diagram of how
seawater is made drinkable). Visual aids can also show how things relate to one
another (a graph showing the relationships among gender, education, and income).
Types of Visual Aids
There is a wide variety of types of visual aids. The most common types include the
following.
Objects and Models Sometimes the most effective visual aid is the actual thing
you are talking about. This is true when the thing you are talking about is easily
portable and simple enough to use during a demonstration before an audience (e.g.,
a lacrosse racket). Models are scaled representations of the object you are discussing
and are used when that object is too large (the new campus arts complex) or too
small (a DNA molecule) or simply doesn’t exist anymore (a Tyrannosaurus rex).
Photos, Videos, and Audio Files Speaking venues, including college classrooms,
are often set up with digital projectors connected to online computers, DVD play-
ers, and outlets for personal laptops. In these cases, a wealth of photos, video
clips, and audio files are available to enhance your speech. If you can project
photos, you can use them to help explain geological formations, for
example, or underwater habitats. Videos can be used to play a visual
sound bite (a brief recorded excerpt) from an authoritative source, or
to show a process such as plant growth. Using audio files can help you
compare musical styles or demonstrate the differences in the sounds
of gas and diesel engines.
Photos can stay up as long as you are referring to them, but videos
and audio files should be used sparingly, because they allow audi-
ence members to receive information passively. You want your audi-
ence to actively participate in the presentation. The general rule when
using videos and sound files is Don’t let them get in the way of the direct,
person-to-person contact that is the primary advantage of public speaking.
Videos and sound files should be carefully introduced, con-
trolled, and summarized at the end. They should also be very brief.
Jenni Chang and Lisa Dazols use a number of video excerpts in their
sample speech at the end of this chapter. As you read the transcript of
their speech, you will notice that each video is concise. In addition,
the speakers include what media professionals call wrap-arounds
or intros and outros: careful introductions and closing summaries
of each clip. Using these devices enables the speakers to remain in
control of the message.
When Sarah Silverman gave a TED Talk called “A New
Perspective on the Number 3000,” she projected word
and number charts to delineate her main points.
When would this type of visual aid be appropriate?
Material
on the
Exam
Material in the Course
Material I studied
FIGURE 13-2 Venn Diagram: Student Perception of Final Exam
diagram A line drawing that shows the
most important components of an object.
word chart A visual aid that lists words
or terms in tabular form in order to
clarify information.
number chart A visual aid that lists
numbers in tabular form in order to
clarify information.
pie chart A visual aid that divides a
circle into wedges, representing per-
centages of the whole.
pictogram A visual aid that conveys its
meaning through an image of an actual
object.
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Other types of visual aids are charts and graphs for represent-
ing facts and data. They include the following.
Diagrams A diagram is any kind of line drawing that shows the
most important properties of an object. Diagrams do not try to
show everything but just those parts of a thing that the audience
most needs to be aware of and understand. Blueprints and archi-
tectural plans are common types of diagrams, as are maps and
organizational charts. A diagram is most appropriate when you
need to simplify a complex object or phenomenon and make it
more understandable to the audience. Figure 13-2 shows a humor-
ous depiction of one student’s perception of what was covered on
a final exam, in the form of a Venn diagram.
Word and Number Charts Word charts and number charts
are visual depictions of key facts or statistics. Your audience will
understand and remember these facts and numbers better if you show them
than if you just talk about them. Many speakers arrange the main points of their
speech, often in outline form, as a word chart. Other speakers list their main sta-
tistics. An important guideline for word and number charts is, Don’t read them to
your audience; use them to enhance what you are saying and help your audience remember
key points.
Pie Charts Circular graphs cut into with wedges are known as pie charts. They
are used to show divisions of any whole: where your tax dollars go, the percent-
age of the population involved in various occupations, and so on. Pie charts are
often made up of percentages that add up to 100. Usually, the wedges of the pie
are organized from largest to smallest. The pie chart in Figure 13-3 represents
one’s person’s perception of “how princesses spend their time,” and Figure 13-4
shows how the U.S. government adapted a pie chart for a new nutrition diagram.
Coincidentally, Figure 13-4 is also a pictogram, which is a visual aid that conveys
its meaning through images of an actual object.
FIGURE 13-3 Pie Chart
How Princesses Spend Their Time
Cleaning
Cooking/serving
Dancing
Singing
Interacting with
animals
Primping/grooming
Working
Fighting
Hanging with
friends
bar chart A visual aid that compares
two or more values by showing them as
elongated horizontal rectangles.
column chart A visual aid that com-
pares two or more values by showing
them as elongated vertical rectangles.
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FIGURE 13-4 Adaptation of a Pie Chart
ChooseMyPlate.gov
Vegetables
Grains
Fruits
Protein
Dairy
FIGURE 13-5 Bar Chart: Time It Takes to Fall in Love
Movies
Fairy Tales
Real Life
1 day
3 m
onths
6 m
onths
9 m
onths
1 year
P
la
ce
Time
3,900
0
500
1000
1500
2000
2500
3000
3500
4000
Millions
of copies
sold in last
50 years
820
400
103 65 57 43 33 30 27
FIGURE 13-6 Column Chart: Most Read Books in the World
Bar and Column Charts Figure 13-5 is a bar chart, a type of chart that compares
two or more values by stretching them out in the form of horizontal rectangles.
Column charts, such as the one shown in Figure 13-6, perform the same func-
tion as bar charts but use vertical rectangles.
20
10
15
20
5
30 40 50 60 70 80 90
A
V
E
R
A
G
E
N
U
M
B
E
R
O
F
S
O
C
IA
L
C
O
N
N
E
C
T
IO
N
S
Men
Women
Everyone
AGE
line chart A visual aid consisting of
a grid that maps out the direction of a
trend by plotting a series of points.
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Line Charts A line chart maps out the direction of a moving point; it is ideally
suited for showing changes over time. The time element is usually placed on the
horizontal axis so that the line visually represents the trend over time. Figure 13-7
is a line chart.
Using Presentation Software
Several specialized programs exist just to produce visual aids. Among the most pop-
ular of these programs are Microsoft PowerPoint, Apple’s Keynote, and Prezi.
In its simplest form, presentation software lets you build an effective slide
show out of your basic outline. You can choose color-coordinated backgrounds
and consistent formatting that match the tone and purpose of your presentation.
Most presentation software programs contain a clip art library that allows you to
choose images to accompany your words. They also allow you to import images
from outside sources and to build your own charts.
If you would like to learn more about using PowerPoint, Keynote, and Prezi,
you can easily find several web-based tutorial programs by typing the name of
your preferred program into your favorite search engine.
Alternative Media for Presenting Graphics
When a projector in unavailable, a variety of materials can be used to present visual
aids.
Chalkboards, Whiteboards, and Polymer Marking Surfaces The major advan-
tage of these write-as-you-go media is their spontaneity. With them you can create
your visual aid as you speak, including items generated from audience responses.
Along with the odor of whiteboard markers and the squeaking of chalk, a major
disadvantage of these media is the difficulty of preparing visual aids on them
in advance, especially if several speeches are scheduled in the same room at the
same hour.
Flip Pads and Poster Board Flip pads are like oversized writing tablets attached to
a portable easel. Flip pads enable you to combine the spontaneity of the chalkboard
(you can write on them as you go) with portability, which enables you to prepare
FIGURE 13-7 Line Chart: The Age When People Are the Most Popular
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them in advance. If you plan to use your visuals more than once, you can prepare
them in advance on rigid poster board and display them on the same type of easel.
Despite their advantages, flip pads and poster boards are bulky, and preparing
professional-looking exhibits on them requires a fair amount of artistic ability.
Handouts The major advantage of handouts is that audience members can take
away the information they contain after your speech. For this reason, handouts
are excellent memory and reference aids. The major disadvantage is that they are
distracting when handed out during a speech: First, there is the distraction of
@WORK
The Pros and Cons of Presentation Software
PowerPoint is by far the most popular form of work presenta-
tion today. In fact, as one expert points out, “Today there are
great tracts of corporate America where to appear at a meet-
ing without PowerPoint would be unwelcome and vaguely
pretentious, like wearing no shoes.”12 Prezi, as an enhanced
form of PowerPoint, is subject to many of the same advan-
tages and criticisms.
The Pros The advantages of PowerPoint are well known.
Proponents say that PowerPoint slides can focus the atten-
tion of audience members on important information at the
appropriate time. The slides also help listeners appreciate
the relationship between different pieces of information.
By doing so, they make the logical structure of an argument
more transparent.
Some experts think the primary advantage of PowerPoint
is that it forces otherwise befuddled speakers to organize
their thoughts in advance. Most, however, insist that its
primary benefit is in providing two channels of information
rather than just one. This gives audiences a visual source of
information that is a more efficient way to learn than just
by listening. One psychology professor puts it this way: “We
are visual creatures. Visual things stay put, whereas sounds
fade. If you zone out for 30 seconds—and who doesn’t?—it
is nice to be able to glance up on the screen and see what
you missed.”13
The Cons For all its popularity, PowerPoint has received
some bad press, having been featured in articles with such
downbeat titles as “PowerPoint Is Evil”14 and “Does Power-
Point Make You Stupid?”15 But a 23-page pamphlet with a
less dramatic title, The Cognitive Style of PowerPoint,16 was the
statement that truly put the anti-PowerPoint argument on
the map, because it was authored by Edward R. Tufte, a well-
respected author of several influential books on the effective
design of visual aids.
According to Tufte, the use of low-content PowerPoint slides
trivializes important information. It encourages oversimplifi-
cation by asking the presenter to summarize key concepts in
as few words as possible—the ever-present bullet points.
Tufte also insists that PowerPoint makes it easier for a
speaker to hide lies and logical fallacies.
Perhaps most seriously, opponents of PowerPoint say that it
is an enemy of interaction, that it interferes with the sponta-
neous give-and-take that is so important in effective public
speaking. One expert summarized this effect by saying,
“Instead of human contact, we are given human display.”17
The Middle Ground? PowerPoint proponents say that
it is just a tool, one that can be used effectively or ineffec-
tively. They are the first to admit that a poorly done Power-
Point presentation can be boring and ineffective, such as
the infamous “triple delivery,” in which precisely the same
text is seen on the screen, spoken aloud, and printed on
the handout in front of you. One proponent insists, “Tufte is
correct in that most talks are horrible and most PowerPoint
slides are bad—but that’s not PowerPoint’s fault. Most writ-
ing is awful, too, but I don’t go railing against pencils or
chalk.”18
PowerPoint proponents say that PowerPoint should not be
allowed to overpower a presentation—it should be just one
element of a speech, not the whole thing. They point out
that even before the advent of the personal computer, some
people argued that speeches with visual aids stressed format
over content. PowerPoint just makes it extremely easy to
stress impressive format over less-than-impressive content,
but that’s a tendency that the effective speaker recognizes
and works against.
After reviewing the pros and cons of PowerPoint, would you say that
PowerPoint is a benefit or detriment to effective public speaking?
Why?
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passing them out, and second, there is the distraction of having them in front of
the audience members while you have gone on to something else. It’s best, there-
fore, to pass them out at the end of the speech so audience members can use them
as take-aways.
Rules for Using Visual Aids
It’s easy to see that each type of visual aid and each medium for its presentation
have their own advantages and disadvantages. No matter which type you use, how-
ever, there are a few rules to follow.
Simplicity Keep your visual aids simple. Your goal is to clarify, not confuse. Use
only key words or phrases, not sentences. The “rule of seven” states that each exhibit
you use should contain no more than seven lines of text, each with no more than
seven words. Keep all printing horizontal. Omit all nonessential details.
Size Visual aids should be large enough for your entire audience to see them at
one time but portable enough for you to get them out of the way when they no
longer pertain to the point you are making.
Attractiveness Visual aids should be visually interesting and as neat as possible.
If you don’t have the necessary artistic or computer skills, try to get help from a
friend or at the computer or audiovisual center on your campus.
Appropriateness Visuals must be appropriate to all the components of the speak-
ing situation—you, your audience, and your topic—and they must emphasize the
point you are trying to make. Don’t make the mistake of using a visual aid that looks
good but has only a weak link to the point you want to make—such as showing a
map of a city transit system while talking about the condition of the individual cars.
Reliability You must be in control of your visual aid at all times. Test all elec-
tronic media (projectors, computers, and so on) in advance, preferably in the
room where you will speak. Just to be safe, have nonelectronic backups ready in
case of disaster. Be conservative when you choose demonstrations: Wild animals,
chemical reactions, and gimmicks meant to shock a crowd can often backfire.
When it comes time for you to use the visual aid, remember one more point:
Talk to your audience, not to your visual aid. Some speakers become so wrapped
up in their props that they turn their backs on their audience and sacrifice all their
eye contact.
Sample Speech
The sample speech for this chapter was presented by Jenni Chang and Lisa Dazols,
whose profile began this chapter. This speech was presented at the 2015 TED-
Women Conference in Monterey, California. Jenni and Lisa’s speech is about an
event, and also about a concept. The event was an around-the-world journey they
took together, and the concept was LGBT progress in the developing world. It is a
speech of description, using a handful of well-chosen examples.
Their informative purpose statement was worded like this:
After listening to my speech, my audience will understand that courageous indi-
viduals outside of the West are fighting for LGBT rights in the developing world,
furthering the momentum of global human rights.
Their thesis statement was worded like this:
Around the world, individuals we like to call “Supergays” are fighting for gay rights.
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Jenni encourages audience involvement
from the beginning by personalizing her
speech, and receives a gratifying round of
audience laughter.
She defines the important nuance of a key
term, gay, in familiar words.
The audience laughs at the term
Supergays . . .
. . . but they understand the meaning
and importance of the term when Jenni
carefully defines it.
Here Lisa shows a map of the world with
their destinations marked, along with
photos of Jenni and herself setting up their
new video camera.
Video: Street scenes of their arrival in
Nepal and their meeting with Bhumika
Shrestha.
1 Jenni Chang: When I told my parents I was gay, the first thing they said to me
was, “We’re bringing you back to Taiwan.” In their minds, my sexual orientation
was America’s fault. The West had corrupted me with divergent ideas, and if only
my parents had never left Taiwan, this would not have happened to their only
daughter. In truth, I wondered if they were right.
2 Of course, there are gay people in Asia, just as there are gay people in every part
of the world. But is the idea of living an “out” life, in the “I’m gay, this is my
spouse, and we’re proud of our lives together” kind of way just a Western idea? If
I had grown up in Taiwan, or any place outside of the West, would I have found
models of happy, thriving LGBT people?
3 Lisa Dazols: I had similar notions. As an HIV social worker in San Francisco, I
had met many gay immigrants. They told me their stories of persecution in their
home countries, just for being gay, and the reasons why they escaped to the U.S. I
saw how this had beaten them down. After 10 years of doing this kind of work, I
needed better stories for myself. I knew the world was far from perfect, but surely
not every gay story was tragic.
4 JC: So as a couple, we both had a need to find stories of hope. So we set off on
a mission to travel the world and look for the people we finally termed as the
“Supergays.”
5 These would be the LGBT individuals who were doing something extraordinary
in the world. They would be courageous, resilient, and most of all, proud of who
they were. They would be the kind of person that I aspire to be. Our plan was to
share their stories to the world through film.
6 LD: There was just one problem. We had zero reporting and zero filmmaking
experience. We didn’t even know where to find the Supergays, so we just had to
trust that we’d figure it all out along the way. So we picked 15 countries in Asia,
Africa, and South America, countries outside the West that varied in terms of
LGBT rights. We bought a camcorder, ordered a book on how to make a docu-
mentary, and set off on an around-the-world trip.
7 JC: One of the first countries that we traveled to was Nepal. Despite widespread
poverty, a decade-long civil war, and now recently, a devastating earthquake,
Nepal has made significant strides in the fight for equality. One of the key fig-
ures in the movement is Bhumika Shrestha. A beautiful, vibrant transgendered
woman, Bhumika has had to overcome being expelled from school and getting
incarcerated because of her gender presentation. But, in 2007, Bhumika and
Nepal’s LGBT rights organization successfully petitioned the Nepali Supreme
Court to protect against LGBT discrimination.
SAMPLE SPEECH Jenni Chang and Lisa Dazols
This Is What LGBT Life Is Like Around the World
Throughout their speech, notice how they make it easy for their audience to listen by
limiting the number of examples they present, and by making the examples that they
do present as interesting as possible. They do this through their use of brief videos
with carefully worded intros and outros. Notice also their use of clear, simple lan-
guage, and the way they generate audience involvement by personalizing their speech.
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(Video) BS: What I’m most proud of? I’m a
transgendered person. I’m so proud of my
life. On December 21, 2007, the supreme
court gave the decision for the Nepal
government to give transgender identity
cards and same-sex marriage.
Photo: Lisa outside a public restroom with
very large international symbols for “man”
and “woman.”
Video: Street scenes of India.
Photo of Prince Manvendra.
(Video) Prince Manvendra: I felt there
was a lot of need to break this stigma
and discrimination which is existing in
our society. And that instigated me to
come out openly and talk about myself.
Whether we are gay, we are lesbian, we are
transgender, bisexual, or whatever sexual
minority we come from, we have to all
unite and fight for our rights. Gay rights
cannot be won in the courtrooms, but in
the hearts and the minds of the people.
Here they project a photo of Jenni with
salon worker.
8 Here’s Bhumika: [play video]
9 LD: I can appreciate Bhumika’s confidence on a daily basis. Something as simple
as using a public restroom can be a huge challenge when you don’t fit in to peo-
ple’s strict gender expectations. Traveling throughout Asia, I tended to freak out
women in public restrooms. They weren’t used to seeing someone like me. I had
to come up with a strategy, so that I could just pee in peace.
10 So anytime I would enter a restroom, I would thrust out my chest to show my
womanly parts, and try to be as non-threatening as possible. Putting out my
hands and saying, “Hello,” just so that people could hear my feminine voice. This
all gets pretty exhausting, but it’s just who I am. I can’t be anything else.
11 JC: After Nepal, we traveled to India. On one hand, India is a Hindu society,
without a tradition of homophobia. On the other hand, it is also a society with
a deeply patriarchal system, which rejects anything that threatens the male–
female order. When we spoke to activists, they told us that empowerment begins
with ensuring proper gender equality, where the women’s status is established in
society. And in that way, the status of LGBT people can be affirmed as well.
12 LD: There we met Prince Manvendra. He’s the
world’s first openly gay prince. Prince Manvendra
came out on the Oprah Winfrey Show, very interna-
tionally. His parents disowned him and accused
him of bringing great shame to the royal family. We
sat down with Prince Manvendra and talked to him
about why he decided to come out so very publicly.
Here he is:
13 JC: While getting my hair cut, the woman cutting my hair asked me, “Do you
have a husband?” Now, this was a dreaded question that I got asked a lot by locals
while traveling. When I explained to her that I was with a woman instead of a
man, she was incredulous, and she asked me a lot of questions about my parents’
reactions and whether I was sad that I’d never be able to have children.
14 I told her that there are no limitations to my life and that Lisa and I do plan
to have a family some day. Now, this woman was ready to write me off as yet
another crazy Westerner. She couldn’t imagine that such a phenomenon could
happen in her own country.
15 That is, until I showed her the photos of the Supergays that we interviewed in
India. She recognized Prince Manvendra from television and soon I had an audi-
ence of other hairdressers interested in meeting me.
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16 And in that ordinary afternoon, I had the chance to introduce an entire beauty
salon to the social changes that were happening in their own country.
17 LD: From India, we traveled to East Africa, a region known for intolerance towards
LGBT people. In Kenya, 89 percent of people who come out to their families are
disowned. Homosexual acts are a crime and can lead to incarceration.
18 In Kenya, we met the soft-spoken David
Kuria. David had a huge mission of want-
ing to work for the poor and improve his
own government. So he decided to run for
senate. He became Kenya’s first openly gay
political candidate. David wanted to run
his campaign without denying the reality
of who he was. But we were worried for his
safety because he started to receive death
threats.
19 JC: David wasn’t ashamed of who he was. Even in the face of threats, he stayed
authentic.
20 LD: At the opposite end of the spectrum
is Argentina. Argentina’s a country where
92 percent of the population identifies as
Catholic. Yet, Argentina has LGBT laws
that are even more progressive than here
in the US. In 2010, Argentina became the
first country in Latin America and the 10th
in the world to adopt marriage equality.
There, we met María Rachid. María was a
driving force behind that movement.
21 JC: When we made the visit to my ancestral
lands, I wish I could have shown my par-
ents what we found there. Because here is
who we met:
22 A whole community of young, beautiful
Chinese LGBT people. Sure, they had their
struggles. But they were fighting it out. In
Shanghai, I had the chance to speak to a
local lesbian group and tell them our story
in my broken Mandarin Chinese. In Taipei, each time we got onto the metro, we
saw yet another lesbian couple holding hands. And we learned that Asia’s largest
LGBT pride event happens just blocks away from where my grandparents live. If
only my parents knew.
Video: Street scenes in Kenya, photos of
David Kuria.
Lisa carefully introduces the following video
clip, so that the sound bite adds to what she
is saying rather than simply repeating it.
(Video) David Kuria: At that point, I was really
scared because they were actually asking for
me to be killed. And, yeah, there are some
people out there who do it and they feel that
they are doing a religious obligation.
Lisa provides an outro for her clip.
Video: street scenes from Argentina.
Photo: María Rachid and her mother.
María Rachid (Spanish): I always say that,
in reality, the effects of marriage equality
are not only for those couples that get
married. They are for a lot of people that,
even though they may never get married,
will be perceived differently by their
coworkers, their families and neighbors,
from the national state’s message of
equality. I feel very proud of Argentina
because Argentina today is a model of
equality. And hopefully soon, the whole
world will have the same rights.
(Video) Group of young Chinese people:
One, two, three. Welcome gays to Shanghai!
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23 LD: By the time we finished our not-so-straight journey around the world, we
had traveled 50,000 miles and logged 120 hours of video footage. We traveled
to 15 countries and interviewed 50 Supergays. Turns out, it wasn’t hard to find
them at all.
24 JC: Yes, there are still tragedies that happen on the bumpy road to equality. And
let’s not forget that 75 countries still criminalize homosexuality today. But there
are also stories of hope and courage in every corner of the world. What we ulti-
mately took away from our journey is, equality is not a Western invention.
25 LD: One of the key factors in this equality movement is momentum, momentum
as more and more people embrace their full selves and use whatever opportuni-
ties they have to change their part of the world, and momentum as more and
more countries find models of equality in one another. When Nepal protected
against LGBT discrimination, India pushed harder. When Argentina embraced
marriage equality, Uruguay and Brazil followed. When Ireland said yes to equal-
ity, the world stopped to notice. When the US Supreme Court makes a statement
to the world, that we can all be proud of.
26 JC: As we reviewed our footage, what we realized is that we were watching a love
story. It wasn’t a love story that was expected of me, but it is one filled with more
freedom, adventure, and love than I could have ever possibly imagined. One year
after returning home from our trip, marriage equality came to California. And in
the end, we believe, love will win out.
Statistics.
An essential statistic.
Video: Lisa and Jenni conducting
interviews.
(Applause.)
(Video: Lisa and Jenni preparing for their
wedding.)
Memorable wording summarizes the take-
away from this speech.
(Video: The wedding ceremony.)
Minister: By the power vested in me, by the
state of California and by God Almighty, I now
pronounce you spouses for life. You may kiss.
(Standing ovation from the audience.)
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
Objective Distinguish among the main types of
informative speaking.
• Informative speeches can be classified by the type of con-
tent, including speeches about objects, processes, events,
and concepts.
• Informative speeches can also be classified according to
their purpose, including descriptions, explanations, and
instructions.
> Explain the primary differences among types of
informative speeches.
> Which type of informative speech is most important
in your own life?
> Which type of speech will you use for your next
informative speech?
13.1
Objective Describe the differences between in-
formative and persuasive speaking.
• Two basic characteristics differentiate an informative
topic from a persuasive topic.
• In an informative speech, you generally do not present
information that your audience is likely to disagree with.
• The speaker’s primary intent is not to change attitudes or to
make the audience members feel differently about the topic.
> Explain the primary difference between informative
and persuasive speaking.
> How are informative and persuasive speeches similar?
> Why is it important to distinguish between informa-
tive and persuasive speaking?
Objective Increase your informative effective-
ness by using the techniques discussed in this chapter.
• Decide on a specific purpose statement.
• Create information hunger by tapping into audience needs.
13.2
13.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
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CHAPTER 13 Review
• Make it easy to listen by limiting the amount of informa-
tion, and by using familiar information, straightforward
organization, clear language, and effective supporting
material.
• Involve your audience through audience participa-
tion, the use of volunteers, and a question-and-answer
period.
> List at least three techniques for increasing informa-
tive effectiveness.
> Which is the most important technique in informa-
tive speaking?
> Which technique do you need to work on for your
next speech?
Objective Use visual aids appropriately and
effectively.
• Visual aids include objects and models, photos, videos,
audio files, charts, and graphs.
• Media for the presentation of visual aids include digi-
tal projectors with presentation software, chalkboards,
whiteboards, flip pads, and handouts.
• Each type of visual aid has its own advantages and
disadvantages.
• Keep visual aids simple, large enough for the audience to
see, and visually interesting.
> List at least three types of visual aids, giving exam-
ples of when to use them.
> Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the
visual aids on your list.
> Which types of visual aids will you use for your next
informative speech?
KEY TERMS
audience involvement p. 358
audience participation p. 359
bar chart p. 363
column chart p. 363
description p. 352
diagram p. 362
explanations p. 352
information anxiety p. 351
information hunger p. 355
informative purpose statement p. 354
instructions p. 352
intro p. 361
knowledge p. 351
13.4
line chart p. 364
model (in speeches and presentations) p. 361
number chart p. 362
outro p. 361
pictogram p. 362
pie chart p. 362
signpost p. 358
sound bite p. 361
visual aids p. 361
vocal citation p. 357
word chart p. 362
wrap-around p. 361
ACTIVITIES
1. Informative Purpose Statements For practice in defining
informative speech purposes, reword the following state-
ments so that they specifically point out what the audi-
ence will be able to do after hearing the speech.
a. My talk today is about building a wood deck.
b. My purpose is to tell you about vintage car restoration.
c. I am going to talk about toilet training.
d. I’d like to talk to you today about sexist language.
e. There are six basic types of machines.
f. The two sides of the brain have different functions.
g. Do you realize that many of you are sleep deprived?
2. Effective Repetition Create a list of three statements, or
use the three that follow. Restate each of these ideas in
three different ways.
a. The magazine Modern Maturity has a circulation of
more than 20 million readers.
b. Before buying a used car, you should have it checked
out by an independent mechanic.
c. One hundred thousand pounds of dandelions are
imported into the United States annually for medical
purposes.
3. Using Clear Language For practice in using clear lan-
guage, select an article from any issue of a professional
journal in your major field. Using the suggestions in this
chapter, rewrite a paragraph from the article so that it will
be clear and interesting to a layperson.
4. Inventing Visual Aids Take any sample speech. Analyze
it for where visual aids might be effective. Describe the
visual aids that you think will work best. Compare the
visuals you devise with those of your classmates.
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Persuasive Speaking
373
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Characteristics of Persuasion 375
Persuasion Is Not Coercive
Persuasion Is Usually Incremental
Persuasion Is Interactive
Persuasion Can Be Ethical
Categorizing Types of Persuasion 378
By Types of Proposition
By Desired Outcome
By Directness of Approach
Creating the Persuasive Message 382
Set a Clear, Persuasive Purpose
Structure the Message Carefully
Use Solid Evidence
Avoid Fallacies
Adapting to the Audience 388
Establish Common Ground
Organize According to the Expected Response
Neutralize Potential Hostility
Building Credibility as a Speaker 390
Competence
Character
Charisma
Sample Speech 393
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
14.1
Identify the primary
characteristics of persuasion.
14.2
Compare and contrast different
types of persuasion.
14.3
Apply the guidelines for
persuasive speaking to a speech
you will prepare.
14.4
Explain how to best adapt a
specific speech to a specific
audience.
14.5
Improve your credibility in your
next persuasive speech.
14
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KRISTINA MEDERO says she always wanted to change the world.
In high school, that led her to work with inner-city kids, teaching
them slam poetry. In college, Medero channeled her passion for
changing the world into a series of speeches for Western Kentucky
University’s championship forensics team.
For one of her WKU speech projects, she decided to write about
gun violence in America. To her surprise, she couldn’t find any objec-
tive and reliable research on this massive and obvious problem.
This wasn’t one of those “I Googled it and couldn’t find anything”
moments. Medero had done all the in-depth research suggested in
Chapter 11 of this book, and she still found mostly conflicting esti-
mates and opinions favoring one side or the other. With a little more
digging, she found out what the problem was: a piece of legislation
that essentially forbids research into gun violence. As a researcher
and a concerned citizen, she was horrified.
This discovery led to one of her most memorable persuasive
speeches, titled “Who’s Afraid of Gun Facts?” The speech helped her
win an All American Forensics award and is reprinted at the end of
this chapter as our sample speech.
Medero graduated in 2015 and immediately left for South
Africa to volunteer with a nonprofit agency that helps poverty-
stricken populations. She returned in 2016 as a Health Program
Manager. Medero now says that persuasive speaking has helped
her realize that “a healthy community is created by more than just
medicine. It takes equal opportunities, unique innovation, and
using scientific methods to form lasting solutions.”1 She plans to
present a lifetime of persuasive speeches to fulfill that goal.
Kristina Medero’s
story shows how
persuasive speaking can
change the world.
?
What persuasive messages
have changed you?
?
What audiences would you
hope to reach through your
own public speaking? How
would you like to change the
way they think and act?
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How persuasion works and how to accomplish it successfully are complex topics.
Our understanding of persuasion begins with classical wisdom and extends to
the latest psychological research. We begin by looking at what we really mean
by the term.
Characteristics of Persuasion
Persuasion is the process of motivating someone, through communication, to
change a particular belief, attitude, or behavior. Implicit in this definition are sev-
eral characteristics of persuasion.
Persuasion Is Not Coercive
Persuasion is not the same thing as coercion. If you put someone in a headlock
and said, “Do this, or I’ll choke you,” you would be acting coercively. Besides being
illegal, this approach would be ineffective. As soon as the authorities came and took
you away, the person would stop following your demands.
The failure of coercion to achieve lasting results is also apparent in less
dramatic circumstances. Children whose parents are coercive often rebel as
soon as they can; students who perform from fear of an instructor’s threats
rarely appreciate the subject matter; and employees who work for abusive
and demanding employers are often unproductive and eager to switch jobs as
soon as possible. Persuasion, by contrast, makes a listener want to think or act
differently.
Persuasion Is Usually Incremental
Attitudes do not normally change instantly or dramatically. Persuasion is a pro-
cess. When it is successful, it generally succeeds over time, in increments, and usu-
ally small increments at that. The realistic speaker, therefore, establishes goals and
expectations that reflect this characteristic of persuasion.
Communication scientists explain this characteristic of persuasion through
social judgment theory.2 This theory tells us that when members of an audi-
ence hear a persuasive appeal, they compare it to opinions that they already hold.
The preexisting opinion is called an anchor, but around this anchor there exist
what are called latitudes of acceptance, latitudes of rejection, and latitudes
of non-commitment. A diagram of any opinion, therefore, might look some-
thing like Figure 14-1.
People who care very strongly about a particular point of view will have a
very narrow latitude of noncommitment. People who care less strongly will have
a wider latitude of noncommitment. Research suggests that audience members
persuasion The act of motivating a
listener, through communication, to
change a particular belief, attitude,
value, or behavior.
social judgment theory The
theory that opinions will change only
in small increments and only when
the target opinions lie within the
receiver’s latitudes of acceptance and
noncommitment.
anchor The position supported by
audience members before a persuasion
attempt.
latitude of acceptance In social judg-
ment theory, statements that a receiver
would not reject.
latitude of rejection In social judg-
ment theory, statements that a receiver
could not possibly accept.
latitude of noncommitment In
social judgment theory, statements that
a receiver would not care strongly about
one way or another.
Strongly agreeAgreeDon’t careStrongly disagree
(Latitude of rejection) (Latitude of noncommitment) (Latitude of acceptance) (Anchor)
FIGURE 14-1 Latitudes of Acceptance, Rejection, and Noncommitment
CHAPTER 14 Persuasive Speaking376
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simply will not respond to appeals that fall within their latitude of rejection. This
means that persuasion in the real world takes place in a series of small move-
ments. One persuasive speech may be but a single step in an overall persuasive
campaign. The best example of this is the various communications that take place
during the months of a political campaign. Candidates watch the opinion polls
carefully, adjusting their appeals to the latitudes of acceptance and noncommit-
ment of the uncommitted voters.
Public speakers who heed the principle of social judgment theory tend to
seek realistic, if modest, goals in their speeches. For example, if you were hoping
to change audience views on the pro-life/pro-choice question, social judgment
theory suggests that the first step would be to consider a range of arguments such
as this:
Abortion is a sin.
Abortion should be absolutely illegal.
Abortion should be allowed only in cases of rape and incest.
A woman should be required to have her husband’s permission to have an
abortion.
A girl under the age of 18 should be required to have a parent’s permission
before she has an abortion.
Abortion should be allowed during the first 3 months of pregnancy.
A girl under the age of 18 should not be required to have a parent’s permission
before she has an abortion.
A woman should not be required to have her husband’s permission to have
an abortion.
Abortion is a woman’s personal decision.
Abortion should be discouraged but legal.
Abortion should be available anytime to anyone.
Abortion should be considered simply a form of birth control.
You could then arrange these positions on a continuum and estimate how lis-
teners would react to each one. The statement that best represented the listeners’
point of view would be their anchor. Other items that might also seem reasonable
to them would make up their latitude of acceptance. Opinions that they would
reject would make up their latitude of rejection. Those statements that are left
would be the listeners’ latitude of noncommitment.
Social judgment theory suggests that the best chance of changing audi-
ence attitudes would come by presenting an argument based on a position that
fell somewhere within the listeners’ latitude of noncommitment—even if this
wasn’t the position that you ultimately wanted them to accept. If you pushed
too hard by arguing a position in your audience’s latitude of rejection, your
appeals would probably backfire, making your audience more opposed to you
than before.
Persuasion Is Interactive
The transactional model of communication described in Chapter 1 makes it clear
that persuasion is not something you do to audience members but rather something
you do with them. This mutual activity is best seen in an argument between two
people, in which an openness to opposing arguments is essential to resolution. As
one observer has pointed out,
cultural idiom
backfire: produce a result opposite
of the one intended
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Arguments are not won by shouting down opponents. They are won by chang-
ing opponents’ minds—something that can happen only if we give opposing
arguments a respectful hearing and still persuade their advocates that there is
something wrong with those arguments. In the course of this activity, we may
well decide that there is something wrong with our own.3
Even in public communication, both speaker and audience are active. This
might be manifested in the speaker taking an audience survey before a speech, a
sensitivity to audience reactions during a speech, or an open-minded question-
and-answer period after a speech.
Persuasion Can Be Ethical
Even when they understand the difference between persuasion and coercion, some
people are still uncomfortable with the idea of persuasive speaking. They see it
as the work of high-pressure hucksters: salespeople with their feet stuck in the
door, unscrupulous politicians taking advantage of beleaguered taxpayers, and so
on. Indeed, many of the principles we are about to discuss have been used by
unethical speakers for unethical purposes, but that is not what all—or even most—
persuasion is about. Ethical persuasion plays a necessary and worthwhile role in
everyone’s life.
It is through ethical persuasion that we influence others’ lives in worthwhile
ways. The person who says, “I do not want to influence other people,” is really
saying, “I do not want to get involved with other people,” and that is an aban-
donment of one’s responsibilities as a human being. Look at the good you can
accomplish through persuasion: You can convince a loved one to give up smoking
or to not keep a firearm in the house; you can get members of your community
to conserve energy or to join together to refurbish a park; you can persuade an
employer to hire you for a job in which your own talents, interests, and abilities
will be put to their best use.
Persuasion is considered ethical if it conforms to accepted standards. But what
are the standards today? If your plan is selfish and not in the best interest of your
audience members, but you are honest about your motives—is that ethical? If
your plan is in the best interest of your audience members, yet you lie to them to
get them to accept the plan—is that ethical? Philosophers and rhetoricians have
argued for centuries over questions like these.
There are many ways to define ethical persuasion.4 For our purpose, we will
consider it as communication in the best interest of the audience that does not depend
on false or misleading information to change an audience’s attitude or behavior. The
best way to appreciate the value of this simple definition is to consider the many
strategies listed in Table 14-1 that do not fit it. For example, faking enthusiasm
about a speech topic, plagiarizing material from another source and passing it off
as your own, and making up statistics to support your case are clearly unethical.
Besides being wrong on moral grounds, unethical attempts at persuasion have
a major practical disadvantage: If your deception is uncovered, your credibility
will suffer. If, for example, prospective buyers uncover your attempt to withhold
a structural flaw in the condominium you are trying to sell, they will probably
suspect that the property has other hidden problems. Likewise, if your speech
instructor suspects that you are lifting material from other sources without giving
credit, your entire presentation will be suspect. One unethical act can cast doubt
on future truthful statements. Thus, for pragmatic as well as moral reasons, hon-
esty really is the best policy. Kristina Medero’s speech at the end of this chapter is
an example of an honest, ethical speech.
ASK YOURSELF
What does an ethical
persuasive speaker
need to do to ensure
that he or she is shar-
ing a well-founded
message?
?
ethical persuasion Persuasion in an
audience’s best interest that does not
depend on false or misleading informa-
tion to induce change in that audience.
cultural idiom
lifting material: using another’s
words or ideas as one’s own
proposition of fact A claim bearing
on issue in which there are two or more
sides of conflicting factual evidence.
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Categorizing Types of Persuasion
There are several ways to categorize the types of persuasive attempts you will make
as a speaker. What kinds of subjects will you focus on? What results will you be
seeking? How will you go about getting those results? In the following pages we will
look at each of these questions.
By Types of Proposition
Persuasive topics fall into one of three categories, depending on the type of thesis state-
ment (referred to as a “proposition” in persuasion) that you are advancing. The three
categories are propositions of fact, propositions of value, and propositions of policy.
Propositions of Fact Some persuasive messages focus on propositions of fact:
issues in which there are two or more sides about conflicting information, in which
listeners are required to choose the truth for themselves. Here are some examples
of questions of fact:
The National Security Agency was/was not justified in listening in to the
phone calls of everyday citizens.
Unethical Communication Behaviors
1. Committing Plagiarism
a. Claiming someone else’s ideas as your own
b. Quoting without citing the source
2. Relaying False Information
a. Deliberate lying
b. Ignorant misstatement
c. Deliberate distortion and suppression of material
d. Fallacious reasoning to misrepresent truth
3. Withholding Information; Suppression
a. About self (speaker); not disclosing private motives or special interests
b. About speech purpose
c. About sources (not revealing sources; plagiarism)
d. About evidence; omission of certain evidence (card stacking)
e. About opposing arguments; presenting only one side
4. Appearing to Be What One Is Not; Insincerity
a. In words, saying what one does not mean or believe
b. In delivery (for example, feigning enthusiasm)
5. Using Emotional Appeals to Hinder Truth
a. Using emotional appeals as a substitute or cover-up for lack of sound reasoning
and valid evidence
b. Failing to use balanced appeals
Source: Adapted from Andersen, M. K. (1979). An analysis of the treatment of ethos in selected speech
communication textbooks (Unpublished dissertation). University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, pp. 244–247.
TABLE 14-1
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Analyzing Communication
Behaviors
Read Table 14-1 carefully. The behaviors
listed there are presented in what some
(but certainly not all) communication
experts would describe as “most serious to
least serious” ethical faults. Do you agree or
disagree with the order of this list? Explain
your answer and whether you would
change the order of any of these behaviors.
Are there any other behaviors that you
would add to this list?
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Windmills are/are not a practical way for the private homeowner to create
clean energy.
Bottled water is/is not healthier for you than tap water.
These examples show that many questions of fact can’t be settled with a simple
“yes” or “no” or with an objective piece of information. Rather, they are open to
One Pinocchio
Some shading of the facts. Selective telling of the truth. Some omissions and
exaggerations, but no outright falsehoods. (You could view this as “mostly true.”)
Two Pinocchios
Significant omissions and/or exaggerations. Some factual error may be involved but
not necessarily. A politician can create a false, misleading impression by playing with
words and using legalistic language that means little to ordinary people. (Similar to
“half true.”)
Three Pinocchios
Significant factual error and/or obvious contradictions. This gets into the realm of
“mostly false.” It could include statements that are technically correct (e.g., based
on official government data) but that are so taken out of context as to be very
misleading. The line between Two and Three can be bit fuzzy, and we do not award
half-Pinocchios. So we strive to explain the factors that tipped us toward a Three.
Four Pinocchios
Whoppers.
FIGURE 14-2 Checking Propositions of Fact Fact checking websites evaluate a speaker’s
propositions of fact. The Washington Post uses a scale that pictures Pinocchio, the fairy tale puppet
whose nose grew every time he told a lie.
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debate, and answering them requires careful examination and interpretation of
evidence, usually collected from a variety of sources. That’s why it is possible to
debate questions of fact, and that’s why these propositions form the basis of per-
suasive speeches and not informative ones.
Propositions of Value Propositions of value go beyond issues of truth or falsity
and explore the worth of some idea, person, or object. Propositions of value include
the following:
Cheerleaders are/are not just as valuable as the athletes on the field.
The United States is/is not justified in attacking countries that harbor terrorist
organizations.
The use of laboratory animals for scientific experiments is/is not cruel and
immoral.
In order to deal with most propositions of value, you will have to explore
certain propositions of fact. For example, you won’t be able to debate whether the
experimental use of animals in research is immoral—a proposition of value—
until you have dealt with propositions of fact such as how many animals are used
in experiments and whether experts believe they actually suffer.
Propositions of Policy Propositions of policy go one step beyond questions of
fact or value by recommending a specific course of action (a “policy”). Some ques-
tions of policy are these:
The World Bank should/should not create a program of microloans for citizens
of impoverished nations.
The Electoral College should/should not be abolished.
Genetic engineering of plants and livestock is/is not an appropriate way to
increase the food supply.
Looking at persuasion according to the type of proposition is a convenient
way to generate topics for a persuasive speech, because each type of proposi-
tion suggests different topics. Selected topics could also be handled differently
depending on how they are approached. For example, a campaign speech could
be approached as a proposition of fact (“Candidate X has done more for this
community than the opponent”), a proposition of value (“Candidate X is a better
person than the opponent”), or a proposition of policy (“We should get out and
vote for Candidate X”). Remember, however, that a fully developed persuasive
speech is likely to contain all three types of propositions. If you were preparing a
speech advocating that college athletes should be paid in cash for their talents (a
proposition of policy), you might want to first prove that the practice is already
widespread (a proposition of fact) and that it is unfair to athletes from other
schools (a proposition of value).
By Desired Outcome
We can also categorize persuasion according to two major outcomes: convincing
and actuating.
Convincing When you set out to convince an audience, you want to change the
way its members think. When we say that convincing an audience changes the way
its members think, we do not mean that you have to swing them from one belief or
attitude to a completely different one. Sometimes audience members will already
think the way you want them to, but they will not be firmly enough committed
to that way of thinking. When that is the case, you reinforce, or strengthen, their
opinions. For example, if your audience already believed that the federal budget
proposition of value A claim bearing
on an issue involving the worth of some
idea, person, or object.
proposition of policy A claim bearing
on an issue that involves adopting or
rejecting a specific course of action.
convincing A speech goal that aims
at changing audience members’ beliefs,
values, or attitudes.
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should be balanced but did not consider the idea important, your job would be to
reinforce members’ current beliefs. Reinforcing is still a type of change, however,
because you are causing an audience to adhere more strongly to a belief or attitude.
In other cases, a speech to convince will begin to shift attitudes without bring-
ing about a total change of thinking. For example, an effective speech to convince
might get a group of skeptics to consider the possibility that bilingual education is/
isn’t a good idea.
Actuating When you set about to actuate an audience, you want to move its
members to a specific behavior. Whereas a speech to convince might move an audi-
ence to action, it won’t be any specific action that you have recommended. In a
speech to actuate, you do recommend that specific action.
There are two types of action you can ask for—adoption or discontinuance.
The former asks an audience to engage in a new behavior; the latter asks an audi-
ence to stop behaving in an established way. If you gave a speech for a politi-
cal candidate and then asked for contributions to that candidate’s campaign, you
would be asking your audience to adopt a new behavior. If you gave a speech
against smoking and then asked your audience members to sign a pledge to quit,
you would be asking them to discontinue an established behavior.
By Directness of Approach
We can also categorize persuasion according to the directness of approach employed
by the speaker.
Direct Persuasion In direct persuasion the speaker will make his or her purpose
clear, usually by stating it outright early in the speech. This is the best strategy to
use with a friendly audience, especially when you are asking for a response that
the audience is likely to give you. Direct persuasion is the kind we hear in most
academic situations.
Indirect Persuasion Indirect persuasion disguises or deemphasizes the speak-
er’s persuasive purpose in some way. The question, “Is a season ticket to the
symphony worth the money?” (when you intend to prove that it is) is based on
indirect persuasion, as is any strategy that does not express the speaker’s purpose
at the outset.
Indirect persuasion is sometimes easy to spot. A television commercial that
shows us attractive young men and women romping in the surf on a beautiful day
and then flashes the product name on the screen is pretty indisputably indirect
persuasion. Political oratory also is sometimes indirect persuasion, and it can be
more difficult to identify as such. A political hopeful ostensibly might be speaking
on some great social issue when the real persuasive message is, “Please remember
my name, and vote for me in the next election.”
In public speaking, indirect persuasion is usually disguised as informative
speaking, but this approach isn’t necessarily unethical. In fact, it is probably the
best approach to use when your audience is hostile to either you or your topic.
It is also often necessary to use the indirect approach to get a hearing from lis-
teners who would tune you out if you took a more direct approach. Under such
circumstances, you might want to ease into your speech slowly.5 You might take
some time to make your audience feel good about you or the social action you are
advocating. If you are speaking in favor of your candidacy for city council, but you
are in favor of a tax increase and your audience is not, you might talk for a while
about the benefits that a well-financed city council can provide to the commu-
nity. You might even want to change your desired audience response. Rather than
trying to get audience members to rush out to vote for you, you might want them
simply to read a policy statement that you have written or become more informed
actuate To move members of an audi-
ence toward a specific behavior.
direct persuasion Persuasion that
does not try to hide or disguise the
speaker’s persuasive purpose.
indirect persuasion Persuasion that
disguises or deemphasizes the speaker’s
persuasive goal.
cultural idiom
tune you out: stop listening to you
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on a particular issue. The one thing you cannot do in this instance is to begin by
saying, “My appearance here today has nothing to do with my candidacy for city
council.” That would be a false statement. It is more than indirect; it is untrue and
therefore unethical.
The test of the ethics of an indirect approach would be whether you would
express your persuasive purpose directly if asked to do so. In other words, if some-
one in the audience stopped you and asked, “Don’t you want us to vote for you for
city council?,” you would admit to it rather than deny your true purpose, if you
were ethical.
Creating the Persuasive Message
Persuasive speaking has been defined as “reason-giving discourse.” Its principal
technique, therefore, involves proposing claims and then backing those claims up
with reasons that are true. Preparing an effective persuasive speech isn’t easy, but
it can be made easier by observing a few simple rules. These include the following:
Set a clear, persuasive purpose; structure the message carefully; use solid evidence;
and avoid fallacies.
Set a Clear, Persuasive Purpose
Remember that your objective in a persuasive speech is to move the audience to a
specific, attainable attitude or behavior. In a speech to convince, the purpose state-
ment will probably stress an attitude:
After listening to my speech, my audience members will agree that steps should
be taken to save whales from extinction.
In a speech to actuate, the purpose statement will stress behavior in the
form of a desired audience response. That desired audience response should
be as straightforward and clear-cut as possible. For example, in the sample
speech at the end of this chapter, Kristina Medero’s purpose was to get at
least some of her audience members to send an email to their congressional
representative.
As Chapter 11 explained, your purpose statement should always be specific,
attainable, and worded from the audience’s point of view. “The purpose of my
speech is to save the whales” is not a purpose statement that has been carefully
thought out. Your audience members wouldn’t be able to jump into the ocean and
save the whales, even if your speech motivated them into a frenzy. They might,
however, be able to support a specific piece of legislation.
A clear, specific purpose statement will help you stay on track throughout all
the stages of preparation of your persuasive speech. Because the main purpose
of your speech is to have an effect on your audience, you have a continual test
that you can use for every idea, every piece of evidence, and every organizational
structure that you think of using. The question you ask is “Will this help me to get
the audience members to think/feel/behave in the manner I have described in my
purpose statement?” If the answer is “yes,” you forge ahead.
Structure the Message Carefully
A sample structure of the body of a persuasive speech is outlined in Figure 14-3.
With this structure, if your objective is to convince, you concentrate on the first two
components: establishing the problem and describing the solution. If your objec-
tive is to actuate, you add the third component, describing the desired audience
reaction.
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There are, of course, other structures for persuasive speeches. This one can be
used as a basic model, however, because it is easily applied to most persuasive topics.
Describe the Problem To convince an audience that something needs to be
changed, you have to show members that a problem exists. After all, if your listen-
ers don’t recognize the problem, they won’t find your arguments for a solution
very important. An effective description of the problem will answer two questions,
either directly or indirectly.
What Is the Nature of the Problem? Your audience members might not recognize
that the topic you are discussing is a problem at all, so your first task is to convince
them that there is something wrong with the present state of affairs. For example,
if your thesis were “This town needs a shelter for homeless families,” you would
need to show that there are, indeed, homeless families and that the plight of these
homeless families is serious.
Your approach to defining your problem will depend largely on your audience
analysis, as discussed in Chapter 11. If your prespeech analysis shows that your
audience may not feel sympathetic to your topic, you will need to explain why
your topic is, indeed, a problem that your audience should recognize. In a speech
about the plight of the homeless, you might need to establish that most home-
less people are not lazy, able-bodied drifters who choose to panhandle and steal
instead of work. You could cite respected authorities, give examples, and maybe
even show photographs to demonstrate that some homeless people are hardwork-
ing but unlucky parents and innocent children who lack shelter owing to forces
beyond their control.
How Does the Problem Affect Your Audience? It’s not enough to prove that a
problem exists. Your next challenge is to show your listeners that the problem affects
them in some way. This is relatively easy in some cases: the high cost of tuition, the
lack of convenient parking near campus, the quality of food in the student center.
In other cases, you will need to spell out the impact to your listeners more clearly.
Rebecca Yocum, a student at West Chester University of Pennsylvania, presented a
speech on problems with the 911 emergency response system. She connected this
topic to her audience in the following way:
On May 15th of last year, a fire broke out at Michelle Dzoch’s home in Wilkes-
Barre, Pennsylvania. One of Michelle’s neighbors called 911 only three minutes
after the start of the incident. 911 operators quickly dispatched three fire and
Speech
to
Convince
Speech
to
Actuate
I. Describe the problem.
II. Describe the solution.
A. Discuss the nature of the problem.
A. Discuss the nature of the problem.
III. Describe the desired audience reaction.
A. Explain exactly what the audience should do.
B. Describe the benefits of the response you
are seeking.
B. Show how the problem affects
your audience.
B. Discuss the advantages of the plan.
FIGURE 14-3 Sample Structure for a Persuasive Speech
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rescue units—to an incorrect address fifteen miles away from
the actual fire. Meanwhile, Michelle Dzoch lay dying in the
second-floor bathroom of her burning home.
The National Emergency Number Association website esti-
mates that 240 million calls are made to 911 in the United States
every year, with the potential for millions of cases of inaccurate
dispatches. In order to mitigate this risk for each of us, we need
a better system for locating those in need so that our emergency
response units can do their jobs with efficiency.6
The problem section of a persuasive speech is often broken
up into segments discussing the cause and the effect of the
problem. (The sample speech at the end of this chapter is an
example of this type of organization.)
Describe the Solution Your next step in persuading your audi-
ence members is to convince them that there is an answer to the
problem you have just introduced. To describe your solution,
you should answer the following two questions.
Will the Solution Work? A skeptical audience might agree with
the desirability of your solution but still not believe that it has
a chance of succeeding. In the homeless speech discussed previ-
ously, you would need to prove that establishing a shelter can
help unlucky families get back on their feet—especially if your audience analysis
shows that some listeners might view such a shelter as a way of coddling people
who are too lazy to work.
What Advantages Will Result from Your Solution? You need to describe in spe-
cific terms how your solution will lead to the desired changes. This is the step in
which you will paint a vivid picture of the benefits of your proposal. In the speech
proposing a shelter for homeless families, the benefits you describe would probably
include these:
1. Families will have a safe place to stay, free of the danger of living on the street.
2. Parents will have the resources that will help them find jobs: an address, tele-
phone, clothes washers, and showers.
3. The police won’t have to apply antivagrancy laws (such as prohibitions against
sleeping in cars) to people who aren’t the intended target of those laws.
4. The community (including your listeners) won’t need to feel guilty about
ignoring the plight of unfortunate citizens.
Describe the Desired Audience Response When you want to go beyond simply
convincing your audience members and impel them to follow your solution, you
need to describe exactly what you want them to do. This action step, like the previ-
ous ones, should answer two questions.
What Can the Audience Do to Put Your Solution into Action? Make the behavior
you are asking your audience members to adopt as clear and simple as possible for
them. If you want them to vote in a referendum, tell them when and where to go
to vote and how to go about registering, if necessary (some activists even provide
transportation). If you’re asking them to support a legislative change, don’t expect
them to write their congressional representative. You write the letter or draft a peti-
tion and ask them to sign it. If you’re asking for a donation, pass the hat at the con-
clusion of your speech, or give audience members a stamped, addressed envelope
and simple forms that they can return easily.
cultural idioms
get back on their feet: return to a
financially stable lifestyle
paint a . . . picture: describe in detail
On the reality TV series Shark Tank, budding entrepreneurs pitch
their ideas to potential investors.
What persuasive strategies distinguish successful contestants from
unsuccessful ones? How can you adapt these strategies to your
persuasive appeals?
evidence Material used to prove a
point, such as testimony, statistics, and
examples.
emotional evidence Evidence that
arouses the sentiments of an audience.
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What Are the Direct Rewards of This Response? Your solution might be impor-
tant to society, but your audience members will be more likely to adopt it if you
can show that they will get a personal payoff. Show that supporting legislation to
reduce acid rain will produce a wide range of benefits, from reduced lung damage
to healthier forests to longer life for their car’s paint. Explain that saying “no” to
a second drink before driving will not only save lives but also help your listeners
avoid expensive court costs, keep their insurance rates low, and prevent personal
humiliation. Show how helping to establish and staff a homeless shelter can lead to
personal feelings of satisfaction and provide an impressive demonstration of com-
munity service on a job-seeking résumé.
Adapt the Model Persuasive Structure Describing the problem and the solution
makes up the basic structure for any persuasive speech. However, you don’t have
to analyze too many successful persuasive speeches to realize that the best of them
do far more than this minimum. In one adaptation of the basic model, the speaker
will combine the solution with the desired audience response. Another adaptation
is known as the Motivated Sequence (discussed in Chapter 12; see pages 331–332).
Use Solid Evidence
All the forms of support discussed in Chapter 12 can be used to back up your per-
suasive arguments.7 Your objective here is not just to find supporting material that
clarifies your ideas, but rather to find the perfect example, statistic, definition, anal-
ogy, anecdote, or testimony to establish the truth of your claim in the mind of this
specific audience.
You choose evidence that strongly supports your claim, and you should feel
free to use emotional evidence, which is supporting material that evokes audi-
ence feelings such as fear, anger, sympathy, pride, or reverence. Emotional evi-
dence is an ethical fault only when it is used to obscure the truth (see Table 14-1,
page 378). It is ethical, however, to use emotion to give impact to a truth.
Whatever type of evidence you use, you should cite your sources carefully. It is
important that your audience know that your sources are credible, unbiased, and
current. If you are quoting the source of an interview, give a full statement of the
source’s credentials:
According to Sean Wilentz, Dayton–Stockton Professor of History, Director of Amer-
ican Studies at Princeton University, and the author of several books on this topic . . .
If the currency of the interview is important, you might add, “I spoke to Professor
Wilentz just last week. . . .” If you are quoting an article, give a quick statement of
the author’s credentials and the full date and title of the magazine:
According to Professor Sean Wilentz of Princeton University, in an article in the
April 21, 2016, Rolling Stone Magazine . . .
You do not need to give the title of the article (although you may, if it helps in any
way) or the page number. If you are quoting from a book, include a quick statement
of the author’s credentials:
According to Professor Sean Wilentz of Princeton University, in his book The
Rise of American Democracy . . .
You don’t need to include the copyright date unless it’s important to authenticate
the currency of the quotation, and you don’t have to mention the publisher or city
of publication unless it’s relevant to your topic. Generally, if you’re unsure about
how to cite your sources in a speech, you should err in the direction of too much
information rather than too little.
ASK YOURSELF
How can you tell
if evidence will be
effective?
?
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Carefully cited sources are part of a well-reasoned argument. This brings us to
our next step in creating a persuasive message.
Avoid Fallacies
A fallacy (from the Latin word meaning “false”) is an error in logic. Although
the original meaning of the term implied purposeful deception, most logical fal-
lacies are not recognized as such by those who use them. Scholars have devoted
lives and volumes to the description of various types of logical fallacies.8 Here are
some of the most common ones to keep in mind when building your persuasive
argument:9
Attack on the Person Instead of the Argument (Ad Hominem) In an ad
hominem fallacy the speaker attacks the integrity of a person in order to weaken
the argument. At its crudest level, an ad hominem argument is easy to detect.
“How can you believe that fat slob?” is hardly persuasive. It takes critical think-
ing to catch more subtle ad hominem arguments, however. Consider this one: “All
this talk about ‘family values’ is hypocritical. Take Senator ,
who made a speech about the ‘sanctity of marriage’ last year. Now it turns out
he was having an affair with his secretary, and his wife is suing him for divorce.”
Although the senator certainly does seem to be a hypocrite, his behavior doesn’t
necessarily weaken the merits of family values.
Reduction to the Absurd (Reductio ad Absurdum) A reductio ad absurdum
fallacy unfairly attacks an argument by extending it to such extreme lengths
that it looks ridiculous. “If we allow developers to build homes in one section of
this area, soon we will have no open spaces left. Fresh air and wildlife will be a
thing of the past.” “If we allow the administration to raise tuition this year, soon
they will be raising it every year, and before we know it only the wealthiest stu-
dents will be able to go to school here.” This extension of reasoning doesn’t make
any sense: Developing one area doesn’t necessarily mean that other areas have
to be developed, and one tuition increase doesn’t mean that others will occur.
Any of these policies might be unwise or unfair, but the ad absurdum reasoning
doesn’t prove it.
Either–Or An either–or fallacy sets up false alternatives, suggesting that if the
inferior one must be rejected, then the other must be accepted. An angry citizen
used either–or thinking to support a proposed city ordinance: “Either we outlaw
alcohol in city parks, or there will be no way to get rid of drunks.” This reasoning
overlooks the possibility that there may be other ways to control public drunken-
ness besides banning all alcoholic beverages. The old saying “America, love it or
leave it” provides another example of either–or reasoning. For instance, when an
Asian-born college professor pointed out examples of lingering discrimination in
the United States, some suggested that if she didn’t like her adopted country, she
should return to her native home—ignoring that it is possible to admire a country
and still envision ways to make it a better place.
False Cause (Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc) A post hoc fallacy mistakenly assumes
that one event causes another because they occur sequentially. An old (and not
especially funny) joke illustrates the post hoc fallacy. Mac approaches Jack and
asks, “Hey, why are you snapping your fingers?” Jack replies, “To keep the ele-
phants away.” Mac is incredulous: “What are you talking about? There aren’t any
elephants within a thousand miles of here.” Jack smiles and keeps on snapping: “I
know. Works pretty well, doesn’t it?”
In real life, post hoc fallacies aren’t always so easy to detect. For example, one
critic of education pointed out that the increase in sexual promiscuity among ado-
lescents began about the same time as prayer in public schools was prohibited by
fallacy An error in logic.
ad hominem fallacy A fallacious
argument that attacks the integrity of a
person to weaken his or her position.
reductio ad absurdum fallacy
Fallacious reasoning that unfairly attacks
an argument by extending it to such
extreme lengths that it looks ridiculous.
either–or fallacy Fallacious reason-
ing that sets up false alternatives, sug-
gesting that if the inferior one must
be rejected, then the other must be
accepted.
post hoc fallacy Fallacious reasoning
that mistakenly assumes that one event
causes another because they occur
sequentially.
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
Cultural Differences in Persuasion
Different individuals have a tendency to view persuasion
differently, and often these differences are based on cultural
background. Even the ability to recognize logical argument
is, to a certain extent, culturally determined. Not all cultures
use logic in the same way that the European American cul-
ture does. The influence of the dominant culture is seen even
in the way we talk about argumentation. When we talk about
“defending” ideas and “attacking our opponent’s position,”
we are using male-oriented militaristic/aggressive terms.
Logic is also based on a trust in objective reality, on informa-
tion that is verifiable through our senses. As one researcher
points out, such a perspective can be culturally influenced:
Western culture assumes a reality that is materialist
and limited to comprehension via the five senses.
African culture assumes a reality that is both
material and spiritual viewed as one and the
same.10
The way logic is viewed also differs between Eastern and
Western Hemisphere cultures. As Larry A. Samovar and Rich-
ard E. Porter point out:
Westerners discover truth by active searching and the
application of Aristotelian modes of reasoning. On the
contrary, many Easterners wait patiently, and if truth is
to be known it will make itself apparent.11
It is because of cultural differences such as these that speech
experts have always recommended a blending of logical and
emotional evidence.
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the courts. A causal link in this case may exist: Decreased emphasis on spirituality
could contribute to promiscuity. But it would take evidence to establish a definite
connection between the two phenomena.
Appeal to Authority (Argumentum ad Verecundiam) An argumentum ad
verecundiam fallacy involves relying on the testimony of someone who is not
an authority in the case being argued. Relying on experts is not a fallacy, of
course. A movie star might be just the right person to offer advice on how to
seem more glamorous, and a professional athlete could be the best person to
comment on what it takes to succeed in organized sports. But an ad verecundiam
fallacy occurs when the movie star promotes a political candidate or the athlete
tells us why we should buy a certain kind of automobile. When considering
endorsements and claims, it’s smart to ask yourself whether the source is quali-
fied to make them.
Bandwagon Appeal (Argumentum ad Populum) An argumentum ad populum
fallacy is based on the often dubious notion that, just because many people
favor an idea, you should, too. Sometimes, of course, the mass appeal of an
idea can be a sign of its merit. If most of your friends have enjoyed a film or a
new book, there is probably a good chance that you will, too. But in other cases
widespread acceptance of an idea is no guarantee of its validity. In the face of
almost universal belief to the contrary, Galileo reasoned accurately that the
earth is not the center of the universe, and he suffered for his convictions. The
lesson here is simple to comprehend but often difficult to follow: When faced
with an idea, don’t just follow the crowd. Consider the facts carefully and make
up your own mind.
Other Common Fallacies There is a wide range of other common fallacies, as
shown in Table 14-2. Often, dogmatic speakers don’t even realize they are using
faulty logic. Other times, it is purposeful manipulation. How many of these do
you recognize from advertising, politics, or everyday arguments? How many
other fallacies can you name?
argumentum ad verecundiam
fallacy Fallacious reasoning that tries
to support a belief by relying on the
testimony of someone who is not an
authority on the issue being argued.
argumentum ad populum fallacy
Fallacious reasoning based on the dubi-
ous notion that because many people
favor an idea, you should, too.
cultural idiom
follow the crowd: do what the
majority does
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Adapting to the Audience
It is important to know as much as possible about your audience for a persuasive
speech. For one thing, you should appeal to the values of your audience when-
ever possible, even if they are not your strongest values. This advice does not
mean you should pretend to believe in something. According to our definition
of ethical persuasion, pretense is against the rules. It does mean, however, that you
have to stress those values that are felt most forcefully by the members of your
audience.12
In addition, you should analyze your audience carefully to predict the type of
response you will get. Sometimes you have to pick out one part of your audience—a
target audience, the subgroup you must persuade to reach your goal—and aim
your speech mostly at those members. Some of your audience members might be
so opposed to what you are advocating that you have no hope of reaching them.
Still others might already agree with you, so they do not need to be persuaded. A
middle portion of your audience members might be undecided or uncommitted,
and they would be the most productive target for your appeals.
Of course, you need not ignore that portion of your audience that does not fit
your target. For example, if you were giving a speech against smoking, your target
might be the smokers in your class. Your main purpose would be to get them to
quit, but at the same time, you could convince the nonsmokers not to start and to
use their influence to help their smoking friends quit.
All of the methods of audience analysis described in Chapter 11—surveys,
observation, interviews, and research—are valuable in collecting information
about your audience for a persuasive speech.
Establish Common Ground
It helps to stress as many similarities as possible between yourself and your audi-
ence members. This technique helps prove that you understand them—if not,
why should they listen to you? Also, if you share a lot of common ground, it
target audience That part of an audi-
ence that must be influenced in order to
achieve a persuasive goal.
Other Common Fallacies
Fallacy Definition Example
Straw Man Setting up an argument that was not proposed
and then attacking it as if it were the original
argument.
“You say we should support animal rights, but many
animal rights activists have supported the destruction of
research facilities.” (The speaker then goes on to argue
that the destruction of research facilities is wrong.)
Red Herring Shifting the focus to a tangential subject, similar
to dragging a fish across a trail to distract a
bloodhound.
“Bill says that buying a term paper is immoral. But what is
morality, anyway?” (The speaker then goes on to discuss
this philosophical question.)
Begging the
Question
Repeating an argument but never providing
support for a point of view.
“I can’t believe people eat dog. That’s just plain gross.
Why? Because it’s a dog, of course. How could someone
eat a dog?”
Faulty Analogy Using a comparison suggesting that two things are
more alike than they really are.
“If we legalize gay marriage, next we’ll legalize marriage
between people and their pets.”
Hasty Generalization Reaching an unjustifiable conclusion after making
assumptions or misunderstanding statistics.
“You are likely to be shot if you visit NYC.” (In fact, fewer
people are murdered, per capita, in NYC than in most rural
American small towns.)
TABLE 14-2
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shows you agree on many things. Therefore, it should be easy
to settle one disagreement: the one related to the attitude or
behavior you would like them to change.
The manager of public affairs for Playboy magazine gave a
good demonstration of establishing common ground when he
reminded a group of Southern Baptists that they shared some
important values with him:
I am sure we are all aware of the seeming incongruity of a rep-
resentative of Playboy magazine speaking to an assemblage
of representatives of the Southern Baptist convention. I was
intrigued by the invitation when it came last fall, though I was
not surprised. I am grateful for your genuine and warm hos-
pitality, and I am flattered (although again not surprised) by
the implication that I would have something to say that could
have meaning to you people. Both Playboy and the Baptists have
indeed been considering many of the same issues and ethical
problems; and even if we have not arrived at the same conclu-
sions, I am impressed and gratified by your openness and will-
ingness to listen to our views.13
Organize According to the Expected
Response
It is much easier to get an audience to agree with you if the
members have already agreed with you on a previous point.
Therefore, you should arrange your points in a persuasive speech so you develop
a “yes” response. In effect, you get your audience into the habit of agreeing with
you. For example, if you were giving a speech on organ donation, you might begin
by asking the audience members if they would like to be able to get a kidney if
they needed one. Then you might ask them if they would like to have a major role
in curbing tragic and needless dying. The presumed response to both questions is
“yes.” It is only when you have built a pattern of “yes” responses that you would ask
the audience to sign organ donor cards.
An example of a speaker who was careful to organize material according to
expected audience response is the late Robert Kennedy. Kennedy, when speaking
on civil rights before a group of South Africans who believed in racial discrimina-
tion, arranged his ideas so that he spoke first on values that he and his audience
shared—values like independence and freedom.14
If audience members are already basically in agreement with you, you can
organize your material to reinforce their attitudes quickly and then spend most
of your time convincing them to take a specific course of action. If, on the other
hand, they are hostile to your ideas, you have to spend more time getting the first
“yes” out of them.
Neutralize Potential Hostility
One of the trickier problems in audience adaptation occurs when you face an
audience hostile to you or your ideas. Hostile audiences are those who have a
significant number of members who feel adversely toward you, your topic, or
the speech situation. Members of a hostile audience could range from unfriendly
to violent. Two guidelines for handling this type of audience are (1) show that
you understand their point of view and (2) if possible, use appropriate humor.
A good example of a speaker who observed these guidelines was First Lady and
literacy activist Barbara Bush when she was invited to speak at the commence-
ment exercises at Wellesley College in 1990. After the invitation was announced,
Celebrities regularly speak out on issues they feel strongly about.
Here, Angelina Jolie speaks before the United Nations Security
Council on the situation in the Middle East and Syria.
What characteristics of her audience did she have to consider to
make her speech effective?
ASK YOURSELF
Imagine an audience
that is as different
from you as possible.
Assign this audi-
ence backgrounds,
beliefs, and values
that are the opposite
of yours. How would
you adapt your speech
accordingly?
?
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150 graduating seniors at the prestigious women’s college signed a petition in
protest. They wrote, in part:
We are outraged by this choice and feel it is important to make ourselves heard
immediately. Wellesley teaches us that we will be rewarded on the basis of our
own work, not on that of a spouse. To honor Barbara Bush as a commencement
speaker is to honor a woman who has gained recognition through the achieve-
ments of her husband.15
Bush decided to honor her speaking obligation, knowing that these 150 stu-
dents and others who shared their view would be in the audience of 5,000 people.
Bush defused most of this hostility by presenting a speech that stressed that every-
one should follow her personal dream and be tolerant of the dreams of others:
For over 50 years, it was said that the winner of Wellesley’s annual hoop race
would be the first to get married. Now they say the winner will be the first to
become a C.E.O. Both of these stereotypes show too little tolerance. . . . So I
offer you today a new legend: the winner of the hoop race will be the first to
realize her dream, not society’s dream, her own personal dream.16
Building Credibility as a Speaker
Credibility refers to the believability of a speaker. Credibility isn’t an objective
quality; rather, it is a perception in the minds of the audience. In a class such as the
one you’re taking now, students often wonder how they can build their credibility.
After all, the members of the class tend to know one another well by the time the
speech assignments roll around. This familiarity illustrates why it’s important to
earn a good reputation before you speak, through your class comments and the
general attitude you’ve shown.
It is also possible for credibility to change during a speaking event. In fact,
researchers speak in terms of initial credibility (what you have when you first get
up to speak), derived credibility (what you acquire while speaking), and terminal
credibility (what you have after you finish speaking). It is not uncommon for a
student with low initial credibility to earn increased credibility while speaking
and to finish with much higher terminal credibility.
Without credibility, you won’t be able to convince your listeners that your
ideas are worth accepting, even if your material is outstanding. On the other
hand, if you can develop a high degree of credibility in the eyes of your listeners,
they will be likely to open up to ideas they wouldn’t otherwise accept. Members
of an audience form judgments about the credibility of a speaker based on their
perception of many characteristics, the most important of which might be called
the “three Cs” of credibility: competence, character, and charisma.17
Competence
Competence refers to the speaker’s expertise on the topic. Sometimes this competence
can come from personal experience that will lead your audience to regard you as an
authority on the topic you are discussing. If everyone in the audience knows you’ve
earned big profits in the stock market, they will probably take your investment advice
seriously. If you say that you lost 25 pounds from a diet-and-exercise program, most
audience members will be likely to respect your opinions on weight loss.
The other way to be seen as competent is to be well prepared for speaking. A
speech that is well researched, organized, and presented will greatly increase the
audience’s perception of the speaker’s competence. Your personal credibility will
credibility The believability of a
speaker or other source of information.
cultural idiom
roll around: occur, arrive
ETHICAL CHALLENGE
Adapting to a Hostile
Audience
How far would you go in adapting to a
hostile audience? What forms would that
adaptation take? Discuss this question
with your classmates, using a specific
speech situation as an example. You can
make up the speech situation or choose
one of the following:
1. Speaking before a group of
advertising executives about your
firm belief that there should be heavy
governmental penalties for false or
deceptive advertising
2. Speaking before a group of Catholic
bishops about your belief in reproductive
choice
3. Speaking before a group of animal
rights advocates about advances in
interspecies (animal to human) organ
transplants
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therefore be enhanced by the credibility of your evidence, including the sources
you cite, the examples you choose, the way you present statistics, the quality of
your visual aids, and the precision of your language.
Character
Competence is the first component of being believed by an audience. The second
is being trusted, which is a matter of character. Character involves the audience’s
perception of at least two ingredients: honesty and impartiality. You should try to
find ways to talk about yourself (without boasting, of course) that demonstrate
your integrity. You might describe how much time you spent researching the
subject or demonstrate your open-mindedness by telling your audience that you
changed your mind after your investigation. For example, if you were giving a
speech arguing against a proposed tax cut in your community, you might begin
this way:
You might say I’m an expert on the municipal services of this town. As a lifelong
resident, I owe a debt to its schools and recreation programs. I’ve been protected
by its police and firefighters and served by its hospitals, roads, and sanitation
crews.
I’m also a taxpayer who’s on a tight budget. When I first heard about the tax
cut that’s been proposed, I liked the idea. But then I did some in-depth investiga-
tion into the possible effects, not just to my tax bill but to the quality of life of our
entire community. I looked into our municipal expenses and into the expenses of
similar communities where tax cuts have been mandated by law.
Persuasive Speech
S E L F – A S S E S S M E N T
Use this self-assessment for a
persuasive speech you have presented
or plan to present.
1. Have you set a clear, persuasive purpose?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
2. Is your purpose in the best interest of the audience?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
3. Have you structured the message to achieve a “yes” response?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
4. Have you used solid evidence for each point?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
5. Have you used solid reasoning for each point?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
6. Have you adapted to your audience?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
7. Have you built your own credibility?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
8. Is your information true to the best of your knowledge?
I’VE DONE MY BEST. I’VE GOT WORK TO DO. I’VE BARELY STARTED.
Scoring on this assessment is self-evident: For every area in which you’ve got work left to do, do it.
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Charisma
Charisma is spoken about in the popular press as an almost indefinable, mystical
quality. Even the dictionary defines it as “a special quality of leadership that cap-
tures the popular imagination and inspires unswerving allegiance and devotion.”
Luckily, communication scholars favor a more down-to-earth definition. For them,
charisma is the audience’s perception of two factors: the speaker’s enthusiasm and
likability. Whatever the definition, history and research have both shown us that
audiences are more likely to be persuaded by a charismatic speaker than by a less
charismatic one who delivers the same information.
Enthusiasm is sometimes called “dynamism” by communication scholars.
Your enthusiasm will mostly be perceived from how you deliver your remarks,
not from what you say. The nonverbal parts of your speech will show far better
than your words that you believe in what you are saying. Is your voice animated
and sincere? Do your gestures reflect your enthusiasm? Do your facial expression
and eye contact show you care about your audience?
You can boost your likability by showing that you like and respect your audi-
ence. Insincere flattery will probably boomerang, but if you can find a way to give
your listeners a genuine compliment, they’ll be more receptive to your ideas.
Building your personal credibility through a recognition of the roles of com-
petence, character, and charisma is an important component of your persuasive
strategy. When combined with a careful consideration of audience adaptation,
persuasive structure, and persuasive purpose, it will enable you to formulate the
most effective strategy possible.
@WORK
Persuasion Skills in the World of Sales
The skills you develop while learning to prepare persuasive
speeches are generalizable to a number of important skills
in the world of work. Business consultant George Rodriguez
makes it clear that developing a successful sales plan is very
much like the planning involved in building a persuasive
speech.
“A sales plan is basically your strategic and tactical plan for
achieving your marketing objectives,” Rodriguez explains.
“It is a step-by-step and detailed process that will show how
you will acquire new business; and how you will gain more
business from your existing customer base.”18
The process of audience analysis is as important in sales-plan
development as it is in persuasive speaking. “The first step
is to clearly identify your target markets,” Rodriguez says.
“Who are more likely to buy your product? The more defined
your target market, the better. Your target market can be
defined as high-income men ages 30–60 who love to buy
the latest electronic gadgets; or mothers with babies 0–12
months old living in urban areas.”
And don’t forget the guideline that persuasion is interac-
tive. “Prospects are more likely to purchase if you can
talk to them about solving their problems,” Rodriguez
points out.
Rodriguez is far from alone in pointing out the importance
of thinking in terms of problems and solutions. Business
consultant Barbara Sanfilippo advises her clients to “pre-
pare, prepare, and plan your calls. Today’s customers and
prospects have very little time to waste. They want solu-
tions. A sales consultant who demonstrates a keen under-
standing of customers’ needs and shows up prepared will
earn the business.”19 Sanfilippo suggests reviewing the
customer’s website and interviewing key people in advance
of the meeting.
Sanfilippo also points out the importance of building cred-
ibility: “How can you stand out from the pack of sales profes-
sionals and consultants all offering similar services?” she asks
rhetorically. “Establish Credibility and Differentiate!”
But George Rodriguez probably has the last word in how
valuable training in persuasive speaking is to the sales pro-
fessional. Before you make that first sales call, he says, “You
may want to take courses on how to improve your confi-
dence and presentation skills.”
cultural idioms
down to earth: practical
boomerang: create a negative effect
Sample Speech 393
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Sample Speech
The sample speech for this chapter was presented by Kristina Medero,
whose profile began this chapter. Medero presented this speech at the
American Forensics Association (AFA) National Individual Events
Tournament in 2015.
Her thesis statement could be worded like this:
Important information about gun violence is being held back by
the Dickey Amendment.
Her purpose statement could be worded like this:
After listening to my speech, some of my audience members will
be willing to send an email to their congressional representatives
asking for the repeal of the Dickey Amendment.
Medero carefully organized her argument in a problem-causes-
solution format, arranging her points for maximum persuasive
impact. Her persuasive organization can be seen in the following
outline. (Parenthetical numbers refer to paragraphs in the speech.)
INTRODUCTION
I. Attention-getter (1–2)
II. Statement of thesis (3)
III. Preview of main points (4)
BODY
Preview of first main point (5)
I. The lack of research about gun violence is a serious problem.
A. The lack of research results in unreliable information about
gun violence. (6–7)
B. The lack of research results in misguided policies. (8–10)
Preview of second main point (10)
II. The lack of research about gun violence has two primary causes.
(11–12)
A. Political grandstanding: Politicians make speeches about
gun violence but then drop the issue when the pain has
passed. (11)
B. Public ignorance: The public is simply unaware of the
Dickey Amendment. (12)
Preview of final main point (13)
III. The lack of research about gun violence can be fixed in two
ways: (14–16)
A. Government Intervention: Send an email asking for the
repeal the Dickey Amendment. (14–15)
B. Information Distribution: Take this leaflet with a link to the
Access Denied Report. (16)
CONCLUSION (17)
I. Review of main points
II. Restatement of thesis
III. Final remarks
CHECKLIST
Ethos, Pathos, and Logos
The Greek philosopher Aristotle divided the
means of persuasion into three types of appeal:
ethos, pathos, and logos. Use the following
checklist to make sure you are using all three
means in your persuasive speeches.
Ethos (credibility), or ethical appeal: Have
you established your credibility as a speaker
so that your audience believes you to be
trustworthy?
Pathos (emotions): Have you used emo-
tional appeals effectively to make your case?
Logos (logic): Have you made logical argu-
ments to appeal to the audience’s sense of
reasoning? This was Aristotle’s favorite, and
the most important form of appeal we have
discussed in this chapter.
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As you read Medero’s speech, notice how she expands on this outline as she
develops her argument point by point. Notice also how she uses solid evidence
throughout. Because she was preparing this speech for a championship collegiate
speech contest, she had to cite more evidence than would be necessary in a class-
room speech. The way she cites that evidence, however, is a good model for most
persuasive speeches.
Her evidence was culled from the sources listed in the following bibliogra-
phy. These are just the sources cited in the speech. Medero did extensive reading
that is not listed here. Again, the numbers in parentheses at the end of each cita-
tion correspond with the paragraph number of the speech in which each source
is cited.
Bibliography
APA Reports. (2014). Gun violence: Prediction, prevention, and policy. Retrieved
from http://www.apa.org/pubs/info/reports/gun-violence-prevention.aspx. (13)
Beckett, L. (2014, May 14). Why don’t we know know many people are shot
each year in America? Pro Publica. Retrieved from https://www.propublica.
org/article/why-dont-we-know-how-many-people-are-shot-each-year-in-
america. (6)
Fan, M. (2015). Disarming the dangerous: Preventing extraordinary and
ordinary violence. Indiana Law Journal, 90, 151–179. Retrieved from http://ilj.
law.indiana.edu/articles/12-Fan . (8)
Ferris, S. (2014, October 3). Millions wasted on background checks for guns.
Florida Times Union. Retrieved from http://jacksonville.com/news/politics/
2014-10-03/story/millions-wasted-background-checks-guns. (1)
LaFrance, A. (2015, January 12). America’s top killing machine. The Atlan-
tic. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/01/
americas-top-killing-machine/384440/. (4)
Mayors Against Illegal Guns. (2013, January 24). Access denied: How the
gun lobby is depriving police, policy makers, and the public of the data we
need to prevent gun violence. Everytown Research. Retrieved from https://
everytownresearch.org/reports/access-denied/. (3, 16)
Murphy, C. (2014, April 22). Still no federal funding for gun violence research.
Colorlines. Retrieved from http://www.colorlines.com/articles/still-no-federal-
funding-gun-violence-research. (11)
Pilkington, E. (2014, June 13). Up to 100 children a year die from acciden-
tal shootings, research shows. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.
theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/25/us-accidental-gun-deaths-100-
children-yearly. (7)
American College of Emergency Physicians. (2015, February 24). Emergency phy-
sicians call for action to prevent firearms injuries. [Press release]. Retrieved from
http://newsroom.acep.org/2015-02-24-Emergency-Physicians-Call-for-Action-
to-Prevent-Firearms-Injuries. (9)
Rajan, S., cited in: Mental illness is not the biggest reason youth carry guns,
study finds. (2014, November 17). Fox News Health. Retrieved from http://
www.foxnews.com/health/2014/11/17/mental-illness-is-not-biggest-reason-
youth-carry-guns-study-finds.html. (12)
Scheiner, E. (2015, February 12). Rep. Blumenauer: “We need more research
on the health effects of guns.” Cybercast News Service. Retrieved from
http://www.apa.org/pubs/info/reports/gun-violence-prevention.aspx
https://www.propublica.org/article/why-dont-we-know-how-many-people-are-shot-each-year-in-america
12-Fan
http://jacksonville.com/news/politics/2014-10-03/story/millions-wasted-background-checks-guns.
http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2015/01/americas-top-killing-machine/384440/
https://everytownresearch.org/reports/access-denied/
https://everytownresearch.org/reports/access-denied/
http://www.colorlines.com/articles/still-no-federal-funding-gun-violence-research
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/25/us-accidental-gun-deaths-100-children-yearly
http://newsroom.acep.org/2015-02-24-Emergency-Physicians-Call-for-Action-to-Prevent-Firearms-Injuries
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/11/17/mental-illness-is-not-biggest-reason-youth-carry-guns-study-finds.html
Sample Speech 395
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http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/eric-scheiner/rep-blumenauer-we-
need-more-research-health-effects-guns. (15)
Wade, A. (2015, February 4). Apathy toward research, science. Commonwealth
Times. Retrieved from http://www.commonwealthtimes.org/2015/02/04/apathy-
toward-research-science/. (2)
1 Called the “most important tool” in preventing gun crime, the National
Instant Criminal Background Check System, or NICS, is a database intended
to prevent potentially violent individuals from purchasing a firearm. However,
according to the October 3, 2014 Florida Times Union, the $650 million-a-year
program is failing—its ability to identify potential criminals as reliable as a
“coin toss.”
2 The problem isn’t a lack of funding or support, but a lack of information. As Com-
monwealth Times on February 4, 2015 reports, federal public health institutes,
where programs like the NICS get their data, cannot receive funding to research
gun violence . . . at all. In 1997 Congress passed the Dickey Amendment, block-
ing federal public health institutes from researching gun violence, on the grounds
that any gun research is inherently anti-gun research.
3 And it’s not like other institutions have picked up the slack. As the January 2013
Everytown Research notes, since the Dickey Amendment, peer-reviewed journals
have seen a 60% drop in gun violence research. As a result, we are basing policies
on dated or, worse, biased research and extrapolating statistics far beyond their
intended use.
4 It’s no surprise programs like NICS are failing. Congress’ stranglehold on sci-
entific study isn’t ideological, it’s a pathological assault on public safety. As a
community built on the foundation of dependable research, it is imperative we
reverse the Dickey Amendment by discussing the problems, causes, and solu-
tions to its continued existence, especially in a year, as the Atlantic from Janu-
ary 2015 reports, marking the first time in decades gun fatalities have surpassed
motor vehicle deaths.
5 Ironically, the Federal government’s open, double peer review system is the only
one that assures published studies don’t have a political agenda. Its exclusion
perpetuates two problems: problematic research and misguided policies.
6 First, the restraints of the Dickey Amendment have resulted in problematic
research, drawing on small sample sizes, unorthodox methodologies, and biased
intentions. Essentially, research has been done, but not enough to answer basic
questions, like how many Americans are shot each year. The answer, according
to Pro Publica on May 14th, 2014: We have no clue. While all gun fatalities are
reported to the Department of Justice, statistics on nonfatal injuries are extrapo-
lated from only 66 hospitals, or only 1% of the total hospitals, across the entire
United States. The best guess is somewhere between 27,000–91,000.
7 This vacuum of verifiable evidence also allows for the proliferation of biased
research. The Guardian on June 13th, 2014 states that both gun control and
gun rights advocates used the same data collection, yet one reported 74 school
Medero immediately begins explaining
the magnitude of the problem, and also
defines a key term.
Statement of thesis; a second piece
of evidence.
If she wanted to, she could put up a visual
aid: “Dickey Amendment: any gun research
is inherently anti-gun research.”
She explains the effects of the problem,
and presents more evidence.
Reference to audience—in this case,
the AFA. She previews her main points,
making it apparent that she will use a
problem-causes-solutions organizational
pattern. She also introduces another key
piece of research.
Transition to first main point and its
subpoints.
Development of first subpoint:
problematic research. More evidence.
Second subpoint: biased research. More
research cited, along with some quick
sarcasm.
SAMPLE SPEECH
Who’s Afraid of Gun Facts?
Kristina Medero
http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/eric-scheiner/rep-blumenauer-we-need-more-research-health-effects-guns
Apathy toward research, science
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shootings within the year, while the other determined there were only 7. Hard to
believe they got their information from the same . . . Tweets.
8 Next, as Dr. David Livingston, director of the New Jersey Trauma Center tells the
aforementioned Pro Publica, “in the absences of real data, politicians and policy
makers do what the hell they want . . . [and] have nobody to call them on it.” The
2015 Indiana Law Journal reveals that since 2013 over 1500 gun bills have been
introduced in state and federal legislatures, many with questionable efficacy. In
fact, according to the National Academy of Sciences, our tax dollars fund over 80
programs to teach kids about gun use, yet we have no idea if or how it affects them.
9 Police, military officers, and doctors feel the impact of the Dickey Amendment
daily, with the American College of Physicians estimating on February 24th,
2015 that gun violence costs at least $174 billion a year in health care and policy
enforcement. Not only is this limited research driving policies, but it is also
impeding those on the front lines trying to combat this issue.
10 The price of ignorance is not just monetary but includes thousands of prevent-
able deaths and avoidable injuries. Our knowledge is being stifled by two causes:
political grandstanding and a vulnerable public.
11 First, political grandstanding has prevented funding for research that would help
us understand gun violence. It is a vicious cycle of ignorance: A tragic shoot-
ing occurs and politicians push for change only until the outrage and pain has
passed. After Sandy Hook, even staunch republican Representative Jack Kingston
loudly proclaimed, we have to “let data lead, rather than our political opinions.”
But as Colorlines on April 22, 2014 points out, just a year later Kingston declared
Obama’s efforts to give money to a public health institute for gun-violence
research as simply, “Propaganda for gun-grabbing initiatives.”
12 Next, most Americans are unaware of the Dickey Amendment. But we know what
we see. Sandy Hook, [Trayvon] Martin, Aurora, Michael Brown, and countless
other tragedies ignite our fervor for change—new laws, policies, databases. As
Fox News on November 17, 2014 reports, “When there is really sensationalized
violence, we have a tendency to simplify gun violence.” Under these emotional
circumstances, lessons learned about quality research are forgotten. Instead we
are wasting time and money while delaying meaningful solutions. It is because
of those lost innocent lives that we can no longer allow politics to deter our right
for knowledge.
13 Last year, the American Psychological Association identified gun violence as a
public health crisis. The only way to combat this epidemic is to truly allow the
data to lead us through two solutions regarding governmental intervention and
information distribution.
14 To begin, we must repeal the Dickey Amendment. The aforementioned American
College of Physicians reports nearly half a million of their members have con-
tacted their federal and state representatives to lift this suppression of science.
Their letter, which I have modified, outlines a plan for conducting research with-
out impeding Second Amendment rights, as vetted by the American Bar Associa-
tion. If you write your email address and state of residence here, I will forward
you the letter as well as your representative’s contact information so you can
personalize it before sending it off to help break the cycle of ignorance.
15 As Representative Earl Blumenauer points out to the February 12, 2015 Cybercast
News Service, research has shaped car safety and tobacco policies in the U.S. and
has allowed Australia to craft and refine their much touted gun legislation. We
can no longer stand for political grandstanding; we must push for our representa-
tives to find reliable strategies.
More evidence cited, this time in the form
of a quotation.
More research.
Transition to second main point, and its
subpoints.
First subpoint, backed up by quotations.
Second subpoint.
Transition to final main point and its
subpoints.
Desired audience behavior is made as easy
and explicit as possible with a handout.
More evidence.
397
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CHAPTER 14 Review
16 Finally, 10 minutes will not allow me to tackle the vast scope and complexities
of this issue, so please take this leaflet with a link to the Access Denied Report.
I also have hard copies for the more technology impaired. But until Congress
lifts this financial barrier, be wary of studies claiming proofs on gun statistics. As
I did for this speech, look at how the research is conducted, the sample size, and
who conducted it. Quick fixes have only resulted in a divided country, the inhibi-
tion of meaningful solutions, and headlines full of names we’ll never forget. We
need reliable research. Our vulnerability has left us susceptible to cherry picked
half-truths. It’s time to get the full picture.
17 After doing a thorough background check on the problems, causes, and solution
to our out of control gun control policies, we can hopefully amend this vacuum
of knowledge. Twenty years ago Representative Jay Dickey pushed through the
amendment restricting research, but after understanding the intrinsic value of
research he is now fighting to reverse it. As Dickey notes, “It’s like the answer to
the question, when’s the best time to plant a tree? The best time was 20 years ago.
The second best time is right now.”
Desired audience behavior is also
simplified here—as she offers not just a
handout with a link, but the hard copy of
the report.
Review of main points.
Restatement of thesis.
Ends with a memorable quotation: Rep.
Dickey is now in favor of repealing his
amendment.
MAKING THE GRADE
For more resources to help you understand and apply the
information in this chapter, visit the Understanding Human
Communication website at www.oup.com/us/adleruhc.
Objective Identify the primary characteristics
of persuasion.
• Persuasion is the act of moving someone, through
communication, toward a belief, attitude, or behavior.
Despite a sometimes bad reputation, persuasion can be
both worthwhile and ethical.
• Ethical persuasion requires that the speaker be sincere
and honest and avoid such behaviors as plagiarism.
• Ethical persuasion must also serve the best interest of the
audience, as perceived by the speaker.
> What are some examples of persuasive speaking in
your everyday life?
> Using the examples you identified earlier, describe the
difference between ethical and unethical persuasion.
> Describe an ethical approach to a persuasive presen-
tation you could deliver.
Objective Compare and contrast different types
of persuasion.
• Persuasion can be categorized according to the type of
proposition (fact, value, or policy).
• Persuasion can be categorized according to the desired
outcome (convincing or actuating).
14.1
14.2
• Persuasion can be categorized according to the type of
approach (direct or indirect).
> For persuasive speeches you could deliver, describe
propositions of fact, value, and policy.
> In your next persuasive speech, do you intend to
convince or to actuate your audience? Why have you
chosen this goal?
> In your next persuasive speech, are you
planning to use a direct or indirect persuasive
approach? Why?
Objective Apply the guidelines for persuasive
speaking to a speech you will prepare.
A persuasive strategy is put into effect through the use of
several strategies. These include
• setting a specific, clear persuasive purpose,
• structuring the message carefully,
• using solid evidence (including emotional evidence),
• using careful reasoning,
• adapting to the audience, and
• building credibility as a speaker.
> For a speech from your personal experience or that
you have watched online (e.g., a TED Talk), identify
its purpose, message structure, use of evidence and
reasoning, audience adaptation, and enhancement of
speaker credibility.
> Apply the preceding guidelines to a speech you are
developing.
14.3
http://www.oup.com/us/adleruhc
CHAPTER 14 Persuasive Speaking398
9780190297084_ch14_372-400.indd 398 10/07/16 12:48 PM
persuasion p. 375
post hoc fallacy p. 386
proposition of fact p. 378
proposition of policy p. 380
proposition of value p. 380
reductio ad absurdum fallacy p. 386
social judgment theory p. 375
target audience p. 388
ACTIVITIES
1. Audience Latitudes of Acceptance To better understand
the concept of latitudes of acceptance, rejection, and non-
commitment, formulate a list of perspectives on a topic
of your choice. This list should contain 8 to 10 statements
that represent a variety of attitudes, such as the list pertain-
ing to the pro-life/pro-choice issue on page 376. Arrange
this list from your own point of view, from most accept-
able to least acceptable. Then circle the single statement
that best represents your own point of view. This will be
your “anchor.” Underline those items that also seem rea-
sonable. These make up your latitude of acceptance on
this issue. Then cross out the numbers in front of any
items that express opinions that you cannot accept. These
make up your latitude of rejection. Those statements that
are left would be your latitude of noncommitment. Do
you agree that someone seeking to persuade you on this
issue would do best by advancing propositions that fall
within this latitude of noncommitment?
2. Personal Persuasion When was the last time you changed
your attitude about something after discussing it with
someone? In your opinion, was this persuasion interac-
tive? Not coercive? Incremental? Ethical? Explain your
answer.
3. Propositions of Fact, Value, and Policy Which of the fol-
lowing are propositions of fact, propositions of value, and
propositions of policy?
a. “Three Strikes” laws that put felons away for life after
their third conviction are/are not fair.
b. Elder care should/should not be the responsibility of
the government.
c. The mercury in dental fillings is/is not healthy for the
dental patient.
d. Congressional pay raises should/should not be delayed
until an election has intervened.
e. Third-party candidates strengthen/weaken American
democracy.
f. National medical insurance should/should not be
provided to all citizens of the United States.
g. Elderly people who are wealthy do/do not receive too
many Social Security benefits.
Objective Explain how to best adapt a specific
speech to a specific audience.
In adapting to your audience, you should
• establish common ground,
• organize your speech in such a way that you can expect
a “yes” response along each step of your persuasive plan,
and
• take special care with a hostile audience.
> Give examples from speeches you have observed
(either in person or online) that illustrate these three
strategies. Explain why each strategy contributes to
the success of the speech.
> Apply these strategies to a speech you are developing.
Objective Improve your credibility in your next
persuasive speech.
• In building credibility, you should keep in mind the
audience’s perception of your competence, character, and
charisma.
> For the most effective persuasive speech you can
recall, describe how the speaker enhanced his or her
competence, character, and charisma.
> How can you enhance your perceived competence,
character, and charisma in a speech you are develop-
ing? Suggest specific improvements.
KEY TERMS
actuate p. 381
ad hominem fallacy p. 386
anchor p. 375
argumentum ad populum fallacy p. 387
argumentum ad verecundiam fallacy p. 387
convincing p. 380
credibility p. 390
direct persuasion p. 381
either–or fallacy p. 386
emotional evidence p. 385
ethical persuasion p. 377
ethos p. 393
evidence p. 385
fallacy p. 386
indirect persuasion p. 381
latitude of acceptance p. 375
latitude of noncommitment p. 375
latitude of rejection p. 375
logos p. 393
pathos p. 393
14.4
14.5
399
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CHAPTER 14 Review
• Post hoc
• Ad verecundiam
• Ad populum
a. Some companies claim to be in favor of protecting
the environment, but you can’t trust them. Busi-
nesses exist to make a profit, and the cost of saving
the earth is just another expense to be cut.
b. Take it from me, imported cars are much better
than domestics. I used to buy only American, but
the cars made here are all junk.
c. Rap music ought to be boycotted. After all, the
number of assaults on police officers went up right
after rap became popular.
d. Carpooling to cut down on the parking problem is
a stupid idea. Look around—nobody carpools!
e. I know that staying in the sun can cause cancer, but
if I start worrying about every environmental risk
I’ll have to stay inside a bomb shelter breathing fil-
tered air, never drive a car or ride my bike, and I
won’t be able to eat anything.
f. The biblical account of creation is just another fairy
tale. You can’t seriously consider the arguments of
those Bible-thumping, know-nothing fundamen-
talists, can you?
6. The Credibility of Persuaders Identify someone who
tries to persuade you via public speaking or mass
communication. This person might be a politician,
a teacher, a member of the clergy, a coach, a boss, or
anyone else. Analyze this person’s credibility in terms
of the three dimensions discussed in the chapter. Which
dimension is most important in terms of this person’s
effectiveness?
h. Tobacco advertising should/should not be banned
from all media.
i. Domestic violence is/is not on the rise.
j. Pit bulls are/are not dangerous animals.
4. Structuring Persuasive Speeches For practice in struc-
turing persuasive speeches, choose one of the following
topics, and provide a full-sentence outline that conforms
to the outline in Figure 14-3, page 383.
a. It should/should not be more difficult to purchase a
handgun.
b. Public relations messages that appear in news reports
should/should not be labeled as advertising.
c. Newspaper recycling is/is not important for the
environment.
d. Police should/should not be required to carry nonle-
thal weapons only.
e. Parole should/should not be abolished.
f. The capital of the United States should/should not be
moved to a more central location.
g. We should/should not ban capital punishment.
h. Bilingual education should/should not be offered
in all schools in which students speak English as a
second language.
5. Find the Fallacy Test your ability to detect shaky reason-
ing by identifying which fallacy is exhibited in each of the
following statements.
• Ad hominem
• Ad absurdum
• Either–or
9780190297084_ch14_372-400.indd 400 10/06/16 10:35 AM
Notes
CHAPTER 1
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2 Reasons You Should Limit Your Social Media Time
http://elitedaily.com/life/limit-time-on-social-media/1036660/
http://www.dose.com/theworld/21439/7-Reasons-To-Limit-Your-Social-Media-That-Will-Lead-To-A-Happier-You
http://www.dose.com/theworld/21439/7-Reasons-To-Limit-Your-Social-Media-That-Will-Lead-To-A-Happier-You
http://elitedaily.com/life/limit-time-on-social-media/1036660/
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http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-photos-interview-buzz-bissinger
http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-photos-interview-buzz-bissinger
http://abc.go.com/shows/2020/listing/2015-04/24-bruce-jenner-the-interview
http://abc.go.com/shows/2020/listing/2015-04/24-bruce-jenner-the-interview
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CHAPTER 4
1. Nagel, D. (2015). Interview: Scott H. Young’s Year Without
English project. The Messofanti Guild. Retrieved from http://www.
mezzoguild.com/scott-h-young-year-without-english/. Quote
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2. Scott H. Young: Language hacks for everyday life (episode
353). Art of Charm. Retrieved from http://theartofcharm.com/
podcast-episodes/scott-h-young-language-hacks-everyday-life-
episode-353/. Quotes are part of a video interview.
3. Wilson, R. (2013, December 2).What dialect do you speak? A map
of American English. Washington Post. Retrieved from https://
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what-dialect-to-do-you-speak-a-map-of-american-english/.
4. Sacks, O. (1989). Seeing voices: A journey into the world of the deaf.
Berkeley: University of California Press, p. 17.
5. Adapted from O’Brien, J., & Kollock, P. (2001). The production of
reality (3rd ed., p. 66). Thousand Oaks, CA: Pine Forge Press.
6. Ogden, C. K., & Richards, I. A. (1923). The meaning of meaning.
New York: Harcourt Brace, p. 11.
7. Gaudin, S. (2011, March 25). OMG! Text shorthand makes
the Oxford English Dictionary. Computerworld. Retrieved
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8. W. B. Pearce & V. Cronen. (1980). Communication, action, and
meaning. New York: Praeger. See also J. K. Barge. (2004). Articu-
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M. Griffin. (2006). A first look at communication theory (6th ed.).
New York: McGraw-Hill.
9. Croom, A. M. (2013). How to do things with slurs: Studies in
the way of derogatory words. Language & Communication, 33(3),
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10. McLeod, L. (2011). Swearing in the ‘tradie’ environment as a tool for
solidarity (Vol. 4, pp. 1–10).Griffith Working Papers in Pragmatics
and Intercultural Communication.
11. Genesis 2:19. This biblical reference was noted by Mader, D. C.
(1992, May). The politically correct textbook: Trends in publishers’
guidelines for the representation of marginalized groups. Paper pre-
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12. Laham, S. M., Koval, P., & Alter, A. L. (2012). The name-
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13. Borget, J. (2012, November 9). Biracial names for biracial ba-
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14. Derous, E., Ryan, A. M., & Nguyen, H. D. (2012). Multiple cat-
egorization in resume screening: Examining effects on hiring
discrimination against Arab applicants in field and lab set-
tings. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 33(4), 544–570.
15. Bertrand, M., & Mullainathan, S. (2004). Are Emily and Greg
more employable than Lakisha and Jamal? A field experiment on
labor market discrimination. The American Economic Review, 4,
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16. No names, no bias? (2015, October 31). The Economist. Retrieved
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anonymising-job-applications-eliminate-discrimination-not-
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17. Cotton, J. L., O’Neill, B. S., & Griffin, A. (2008). The “name
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Managerial Psychology, 23, 18–39.
18. Brunning, J. L., Polinko, N. K., Zerbst, J. I., & Buckingham, J. T.
(2000). The effect on expected job success of the connotative
meanings of names and nicknames. Journal of Social Psychology,
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19. Coffey, B., & McLaughlin, P. A. (2009). Do masculine names help
female lawyers become judges? Evidence from South Carolina.
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Doctor Fox Lecture: A paradigm of educational seduction. Jour-
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(1980, May). Bafflegab pays. Psychology Today,13, 12; and Marsh,
H. W., & Ware, J. E., Jr. (1982). Effects of expressiveness, content
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21. Segrest Purkiss, S. L., Perrewé, P. L., Gillespie, T. L., Mayes, B. T., &
Ferris, G. R. (2006). Implicit sources of bias in employment inter-
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22. Hosoda, M., Nguyen, L. T., & Stone-Romero, E. F. (2012). The ef-
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E. (2010). The effects of foreign accents on employment-related
decisions. Journal of Managerial Psychology, 25(2), 113–132.
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24. Vervecken, D., & Hannover, B. (2015). Yes I can! Effects of gender
fair job descriptions on children’s perceptions of job status, job dif-
ficulty, and vocational self-efficacy. Social Psychology, 46(2), 76–92.
25. Lee, J. K. (2015). “Chairperson” or “chairman”?—A study of Chi-
nese EFL teachers’ gender inclusivity. Australian Review of Applied
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26. Here in Finland, the language is completely gender-neutral—
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gender-neutral-they-don-t-have-any-gender-specific-pronouns-
like-he-or-she. Quotes appear in paragraph 2.
http://www.joburgexpat.com/2012/11/culture-shock.html
https://genderneutralpronounwordpress.com/tag/xe/
http://www.mezzoguild.com/scott-h-young-year-without-english/
http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/scott-h-young-language-hacks-everyday-lifeepisode-353/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2013/12/02/what-dialect-to-do-you-speak-a-map-of-american-english/
http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9215079/OMG_Text_shorthand_makes_the_dictionary
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/biracial-baby-names-110912/
http://www.economist.com/news/business/21677214-anonymising-job-applications-eliminate-discrimination-not-easy-no-names-no-bias
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703467304575383131592767868
http://www.omgfacts.com/health/14822/Here-in-Finland-the-language-is-completelygender-neutral-they-don-t-have-any-gender-specific-pronounslike-he-or-she
Notes N-11
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27. Prewitt-Freilino, J. L., Caswell, T. A., & Laakso, E. K. (2012). The
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29. Granadillo, E. D., & Mendez, M. F.(2016). Pathological joking or
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30. For a summary of scholarship supporting the notion of lin-
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31. Whorf, B. (1956). The relation of habitual thought and behavior
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35. Mader, D. C. (1992, May).The politically correct textbook: Trends in
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CHAPTER 5
1. A brave new world: A chat with YFS magazine’s Erica Nicole.
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The Value Of Listening To Your Employees
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Notes N-13
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12. Gordon, P., James Allan, C., Nathaniel, B., Derek, J. K., &
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CHAPTER 6
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http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/sean-lowe-catherine-giudici-explain-why-so-few-bachelorcouples-wed-201572
Emily Maynard: 'Why I Wouldn't Marry Brad Womack'!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2214821/Bachelor-winner-Courtney-Robertson-heartbroken-break-up.html
The Phubbing Truth
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appears in the last paragraph.
52. Adapted from Rothwell, J. D. (2013). In mixed company (8th ed.).
Boston: Wadsworth-Cengage, pp. 223–226.
CHAPTER 11
1. McKinnon, J. (2013, January 18). Will Malala’s influence stretch
to Europe? Deutsche Welle. Retrieved from http://www.dw.com/
en/will-malalas-influence-stretch-to-europe/a-16532149. Quote
appears in paragraph 1.
2. Global Coalition to Protect Education from Attack. (2014). Educa-
tion Under Attack 2014. New York: Author. Retrieved from http://
www.protectingeducation.org/sites/default/files/documents/
eua_2014_full .
3. Yousafzai, M. (2013, July 12). The full text: Malala Yousafzai
delivers defiant riposte to Taliban militants with speech to the
UN General Assembly. The Independent. Retrieved from http://
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/the-full-text-malala-
yousafzai-delivers-defiant-riposte-to-taliban-militants-with-
speech-to-the-un-general-assembly-8706606.html.
4. Dwyer, K. K., & Davidson, M. M. (2012, April–June). Is public
speaking really more feared than death? Communication Research
Reports, 29, 99–107. This study found that public speaking was
selected more often as a common fear than any other fear, includ-
ing death. However, when students were asked to select a top fear,
students selected death most often.
5. For an example of how demographics have been taken into
consideration in great speeches, see Stephens, G. (1997, Fall).
Frederick Douglass’ multiracial abolitionism: “Antagonistic
cooperation” and “redeemable ideals” in the July 5 speech. Com-
munication Studies, 48, 175–194. On July 5, 1852, Douglass gave a
speech titled “What to the Slave Is the 4th of July,” attacking the
hypocrisy of Independence Day in a slaveholding republic. It was
one of the greatest antislavery speeches ever given, and part of its
success stemmed from the way Douglass sought common ground
with his multiracial audience.
6. See, for example, Jaschik, S. (2007, June 28). 2 kinds of part-time
students. Inside Higher Education. Retrieved from https://www.
insidehighered.com/news/2007/06/28/parttime.
7. Polisetti, S. (2012). The loss of Native American culture. In L.
Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2012 (pp. 163–165). Mankato,
MN: Interstate Oratorical Association, p. 163. Polisetti was
coached by Lee Mayfield and Ken Young.
8. See, for example, Rolfe-Redding, J., Maibach, E. W., Feldman, L.,
& Leiserowitz, A. (2011, November 7). Republicans and climate
change: An audience analysis of predictors for belief and policy
preferences (SSRN Scholarly Paper 2026002). Retrieved from
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2026002.
9. Stutman, R. K., & Newell, S. E. (1984, Fall). Beliefs versus values:
Silent beliefs in designing a persuasive message. Western Journal of
Speech Communication, 48(4), 364.
10. Mahoney, B. (2015). They’re not a burden: The inhumanity of
anti-homeless legislation. Winning Orations, 2015 (pp. 20–22).
Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Association. Brianna was
coached by Kellie Roberts.
11. Mahoney (2015).
12. In information science parlance, these are referred to as Boolean
terms.
13. Some recent literature specifically refers to public speaking anxi-
ety, or PSA. See, for example, Bodie, G. D. (2010, January). A
racing heart, rattling knees, and ruminative thoughts: Defining,
explaining, and treating public speaking anxiety. Communication
Education, 59(1), 70–105.
14. See, for example, Borhis, J., & Allen, M. (1992, January). Meta-anal-
ysis of the relationship between communication apprehension and
cognitive performance. Communication Education, 41(1), 68–76.
15. Daly, J. A., Vangelisti, A. L., & Weber, D. J. (1995, December).
Speech anxiety affects how people prepare speeches: A protocol
analysis of the preparation process of speakers. Communication
Monographs, 62, 123–134.
16. Researchers generally agree that communication apprehension
has three causes: genetics, social learning, and inadequate skills
acquisition. See, for example, Finn, A. N. (2009). Public speaking:
What causes some to panic? Communication Currents, 4(4), 1–2.
17. See, for example, Sawyer, C. R., & Behnke, R. R. (1997, Summer).
Communication apprehension and implicit memories of public
speaking state anxiety. Communication Quarterly, 45(3), 211–222.
18. Adapted from Ellis, A. (1977). A new guide to rational living. North
Hollywood, CA: Wilshire Books. G. M. Philips listed a different
set of beliefs that he believes contributes to reticence. The beliefs
are as follows: (1) an exaggerated sense of self-importance (reti-
cent people tend to see themselves as more important to others
than others see them); (2) effective speakers are born, not made;
(3) skillful speaking is manipulative; (4) speaking is not that
important; (5) I can speak whenever I want to; I just choose not
to; (6) it is better to be quiet and let people think you are a fool
than prove it by talking (they assume they will be evaluated nega-
tively); and (7) what is wrong with me requires a (quick) cure.
See Keaten, J. A., Kelly, L., & Finch, C. (2000). Effectiveness of the
Penn State Program in changing beliefs associated with reticence.
Communication Education, 49(2), 134–145.
https://hbr.org/2014/04/the-ceo-of-automattic-on-holding-auditions-to-build-a-strong-team
https://hbr.org/2014/04/the-ceo-of-automattic-on-holding-auditions-to-build-a-strong-team
http://www.businessinsider.com/automattic-no-email-no-office-workers-2013-11
http://www.dw.com/en/will-malalas-influence-stretch-to-europe/a-16532149
http://www.protectingeducation.org/sites/default/files/documents/eua_2014_full
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/the-full-text-malala-yousafzai-delivers-defiant-riposte-to-taliban-militants-with-speech-to-the-un-general-assembly-8706606.html
https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2007/06/28/parttime
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2026002
N-28 Notes
9780190297084_N1-N30_Notes.indd N-28 10/06/16 12:48 PM
19. Behnke, R. R., Sawyer, C. R., & King, P. E. (1987, April). The com-
munication of public speaking anxiety. Communication Education,
36, 138–141.
20. Honeycutt, J. M., Choi, C. W., & DeBerry, J. R. (2009, July). Com-
munication apprehension and imagined interactions. Communi-
cation Research Reports, 26(2), 228–236.
21. Behnke, R. R., & Sawyer, C. R. (1999, April). Milestones of an-
ticipatory public speaking anxiety. Communication Education,
48(2), 165.
22. Hinton, J. S., & Kramer, M. W. (1998, April). The impact of self-
directed videotape feedback on students’ self-reported levels of
communication competence and apprehension. Communication
Education, 47(2), 151–161. Significant increases in competency
and decreases in apprehension were found using this method.
23. Research has confirmed that speeches practiced in front of other
people tend to be more successful. See, for example, Smith, T.
E., & Frymier, A. B. (2006, February). Get “real”: Does practicing
speeches before an audience improve performance? Communica-
tion Quarterly, 54, 111–125.
24. See, for example, Rosenfeld, L. R., & Civikly, J. M. (1976). With
words unspoken. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, p. 62.
Also see Chaiken, S. (1979). Communicator physical attractive-
ness and persuasion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37,
1387–1397.
25. A study demonstrating this stereotype is Street, R. L., Jr., & Brady,
R. M. (1982, December). Speech rate acceptance ranges as a func-
tion of evaluative domain, listener speech rate, and communica-
tion context. Speech Monographs, 49, 290–308.
26. See, for example, Mulac, A., & Rudd, M. J. (1977). Effects of se-
lected American regional dialects upon regional audience mem-
bers. Communication Monographs, 44, 184–195. Some research,
however, suggests that nonstandard dialects do not have the det-
rimental effects on listeners that were once believed. See, for ex-
ample, Johnson, F. L., & Buttny, R. (1982, March). White listeners’
responses to “sounding black” and “sounding white”: The effect
of message content on judgments about language. Communication
Monographs, 49, 33–39.
27. Smith, V., Siltanen, S. A., & Hosman, L. A. (1998, Fall). The effects
of powerful and powerless speech styles and speaker expertise
on impression formation and attitude change. Communication
Research Reports, 15(1), 27–35. In this study, a powerful speech
style was defined as one without hedges and hesitations such as
uh and anda.
28. The jurist, Fredrik Heffermehl, was quoted in Walsh, D. (2014,
October 10). Two champions of children are given Nobel Peace
Prize. The New York Times.
29. Quoted in Borger, J., & Imtiaz, S. (2014, October 10). Malala
Yousafzai’s Nobel Peach http://www.theguardian.com/
world/2014/oct/10/malala-yousafzai-nobel-peace-prize-pakistan-
reaction. Conservative politicians in Pakistan expressed concern
that Malala was being used by those who wanted to promote
Western values.
30. In fact, the All Pakistan Private Schools Federation held an “I Am
Not Malala” day to protest against the contents of her biography
I Am Malala. Bacchi, U. (2014, November 10). Pakistani schools
hold “I Am Not Malala” day against Nobel Peace Prize winner.
International Business Times. Retrieved from http://www.ibtimes.
co.uk/pakistani-schools-hold-i-am-not-malala-day-against-
nobel-peace-prize-winner-1474090.
31. Yousafzai, M. (2015). Nobel lecture. In K. Grandin (Ed.),
The Nobel Prizes 2014. Sagamore Beach, MA: Science History
Publications/USA.
CHAPTER 12
1. Personal correspondence with authors, June 2016.
2. See, for example, Stern, L. (1985). The structures and strategies of
human memory. Homewood, IL: Dorsey Press. See also Turner, C.
(1987, June 15). Organizing information: Principles and prac-
tices. Library Journal, 112(11), 58.
3. Booth, W. C., Colomb, G. C., & Williams, J. M. (2003). The craft of
research. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
4. Koehler, C. (1998, June 15). Mending the body by lending
an ear: The healing power of listening. Vital Speeches of the Day,
543.
5. Hallum, E. (1998). Untitled. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations,
1998 (pp. 4–6). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Association,
p. 4. Hallum was coached by Clark Olson.
6. Monroe, A. (1935). Principles and types of speech. Glenview, IL:
Scott, Foresman.
7. Adapted from http://vaughnkohler.com/wp-content/uploads/
2013/01/Monroe-Motivated-Sequence-Outline-Handout1 ,
accessed May 23, 2013.
8. Graham, K. (1976, April 15). The press and its responsibilities.
Vital Speeches of the Day, 42.
9. Meyer, E. (2015). “Gridlocked.” In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning
orations, 2015 (pp. 54–56). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical
Association. Meyer was coached by Kristofer Kracht and Cadi
Kadlecek.
10. Anderson, G. (2009). Don’t reject my homoglobin. In L.
Schnoor (Ed.), Winning Orations, 2009 (pp. 33–35). Mankato,
MN: Interstate Oratorical Association, p. 33. Anderson was
coached by Leah White.
11. Cochran, J. (2012). Untitled. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations,
2012 (pp. 40–42). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Associa-
tion, p. 40. Cochran was coached by Dan Smith and Michael
Chen.
12. Eggleston, T. S. (n.d.). The key steps to an effective presenta-
tion. Retrieved April 4, 2016 from http://seggleston.com/1/
writing-and-communications/key-steps.
13. Cook, E. (n.d.). Making business presentations work. Retrieved
May 19, 2010 from www.businessknowhow.com/manage/
presentation101.htm.
14. Kotelnikov, V. (n.d.). Effective presentations. Retrieved May 19,
2010 from http://www.1000ventures.com/business_guide/
crosscuttings/presentations_main.html.
15. Toastmasters International, Inc.’s Communication and
Leadership Program Retrieved May 19, 2010 from www.
toastmasters.org.
16. Davis, K. C. (2007, July 3). The founding immigrants. New York
Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/03/
opinion/03davis.html.
17. Dunn, N. (2012). There’s nothing special about restraining and
secluding students with disabilities. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning
orations, 2012 (pp. 126–128). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical
Association, p. 126. Dunn was coached by Jacob Stutzman and
Tai Du.
18. Griesinger, C. (2006). Untitled. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning ora-
tions, 2006 (pp. 37–39). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Asso-
ciation, p. 37. Griesinger was coached by Ray Quiel.
19. Schoch, E. (2014). Revenge porn: An intimate invasion. In L.
Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2014 (pp. 27–29). Mankato, MN:
Interstate Oratorical Association. Schoch was coached by Kellie
Roberts.
20. See Schoch (2014).
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/oct/10/malala-yousafzai-nobel-peace-prize-pakistanreaction
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/pakistani-schools-hold-i-am-not-malala-day-againstnobel-peace-prize-winner-1474090
http://vaughnkohler.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Monroe-Motivated-Sequence-Outline-Handout1 ,
http://seggleston.com/1/writing-and-communications/key-steps
http://www.businessknowhow.com/manage/
http://www.1000ventures.com/business_guide/crosscuttings/presentations_main.html
http://www.toastmasters.org
http://www.toastmasters.org
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/03/opinion/03davis.html
Notes N-29
9780190297084_N1-N30_Notes.indd N-29 10/06/16 12:48 PM
21. Wideman, S. (2006). Planning for peak oil: Legislation and con-
servation. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2006 (pp. 7–9).
Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Association, p. 7. Wideman
was coached by Brendan Kelly.
22. Herbert, B. (2007, April 26). Hooked on violence. New York
Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/26/
opinion/26herbert.html.
23. Sherriff, D. (1998, April 1). Bill Gates too rich [Online forum
comment]. Retrieved from CRTNET discussion group.
24. Elsesser, K. (2010, March 4). And the gender-neutral Oscar goes
to . . . New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.
com/2010/03/04/opinion/04elsesser.html.
25. Gieseck, A. (2015). Problem of police brutality with regard to the
deaf community. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2015
(pp. 82–84). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical Association,
p. 83.
26. Boyle, J. (2015). Spyware stalking. In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning
orations, 2015 (pp. 32–34). Mankato, MN: Interstate Oratorical
Association, p. 32. Julia was coached by Judy Santacaterina and
Lisa Roth.
27. Notebaert, R. C. (1998, November 1). Leveraging diversity: Add-
ing value to the bottom line. Vital Speeches of the Day, 47.
28. Teresa Fishman, director of the Center for Academic Integrity
at Clemson University, quoted in Gabriel, T. (2010, August 1).
Plagiarism lines blur for students in digital age. New York
Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/02/
education/02cheat.html?pagewanted-all.
29. McCarley, E. (2009). On the importance of drug courts. In L.
Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2009 (pp. 36–38). Mankato, MN:
Interstate Oratorical Association, p. 36.
30. See McCarley (2009).
CHAPTER 13
1. Mission statement from http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/
about-it-gets-better-project/.
2. Sigler, M. G. (2010, August 4). Eric Schmidt: Every 2 days
we create as much information as we did up to 2003. Tech-
Crunch. Retrieved from http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/04/
schmidt-data/.
3. See, for example, Wurman, R. S. (2000). Information anxiety 2.
Indianapolis: Que.
4. Buffett, W. E. (2012, November 25). A minimum tax for the
wealthy. New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.
com/2012/11/26/opinion/buffett-a-minimum-tax-for-the-
wealthy.html.
5. See Fransden, K. D., & Clement, D. A. (1984). The functions
of human communication in informing: Communicating and
processing information. In C. C. Arnold & J. W. Bowers (Eds.),
Handbook of rhetorical and communication theory (pp. 338–399).
Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
6. Allocca, K. (2001, November). Why videos go viral. TEDYouth talk,
New York City. Retrieved from http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_
allocca_why_videos_go_viral.html.
7. Wilson, N. (2015). Dousing disaster: The case for new hydrants.
In L. Schnoor (Ed.), Winning orations, 2015 (pp. 26–28). Mankato,
MN: Interstate Oratorical Association, p. 26. Nicole was coached
by Hope Willoughby and Randy Richardson.
8. Levine, K. (2001). The dentist’s dirty little secret. In L. Schnoor
(Ed.), Winning orations, 2001 (pp. 77–79). Mankato, MN: Interstate
Oratorical Association, p. 77. Levine was coached by Trischa
Goodnow.
9. Cacioppo, J. T., & Petty, R. E. (1979). Effects of message repeti-
tion and position on cognitive response, recall, and persuasion.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37, 97–109.
10. Schulz, K. (2011, March). On being wrong. Speech presented at
the TED Conference. Retrieved from http://www.ted.com/talks/
kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html.
11. New York Public Interest Research Group, Brooklyn College chap-
ter. (2004). Voter registration project.
12. Parker, I. (2001, May 28). Absolute PowerPoint. New Yorker, p. 78.
13. Steven Pinker, a psychology professor at MIT, quoted in Zucker-
man, L. (1999, April 17). Words go right to the brain, but can they
stir the heart? New York Times, p. 9.
14. Tufte, E. (2003, September). PowerPoint is evil: Power corrupts.
PowerPoint corrupts absolutely. Wired. Retrieved from http://
www.wired.com/wired/archive/11.09/ppt2.html.
15. Simons, T. (2004, March). Does PowerPoint make you stupid?
Presentations, p. 25.
16. Tufte, E. R. (2003). The cognitive style of PowerPoint. Cheshire, CT:
Graphics Press.
17. See Parker (2001).
18. Don Norman, a design expert cited in Simons (2004), p. 26.
CHAPTER 14
1. Kristina Medero, personal communication with the authors, May
2016.
2. For an explanation of social judgment theory, see Griffin, E. (2012).
A first look at communication theory (8th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.
3. Lasch, C. (1990, Spring). Journalism, publicity and the lost art of
argument. Gannett Center Journal, 1–11, p. 3.
4. See, for example, Jaska, J. A., & Pritchard, M. S. (1994). Communi-
cation ethics: Methods of analysis (2nd ed.). Boston: Wadsworth.
5. Some research suggests that audiences may perceive a direct
strategy as a threat to their freedom to form their own opinions.
This perception hampers persuasion. See Brehm, J. W. (1966). A
theory of psychological reactance. New York: Academic Press.
6. Yocum, R. (2015). A deadly miscalculation. In L. Schnoor (Ed.),
Winning orations 2015 (pp. 97–99). Mankato, MN: Interstate Ora-
torical Association. Rebeka was coached by Mark Hickman.
7. For an excellent review of the effects of evidence, see Reinard, J.
C. (1988, Fall). The empirical study of persuasive effects of evi-
dence: The status after fifty years of research. Human Communica-
tion Research, 15(1), 3–59.
8. There are, of course, other classifications of logical fallacies than
those presented here. See, for example, Warnick, B., & Inch, E.
(1994). Critical thinking and communication: The use of reason in
argument (2nd ed.). New York: Macmillan, pp. 137–161.
9. Sprague, J., & Stuart, D. (1992). The speaker’s handbook (3rd ed.).
Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, p. 172.
10. Myers, L. J. (1981). The nature of pluralism and the African
American case. Theory into Practice, 20, 3–4. Cited in Samovar, L.
A., & Porter, R. E. (1995).Communication between cultures (2nd ed.).
New York: Wadsworth, p. 251.
11. Samovar & Porter (1995), pp. 154–155.
12. For an example of how one politician failed to adapt to his audi-
ence’s attitudes, see Hostetler, M. J. (1998, Winter). Gov. Al Smith
confronts the Catholic question: The rhetorical legacy of the 1928
campaign. Communication Quarterly, 46(1), 12–24. Smith was
reluctant to discuss religion, attributed bigotry to anyone who
brought it up, and was impatient with the whole issue. He lost
the election. Many years later, John F. Kennedy dealt with “the
Catholic question” more reasonably and won.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/26/
http://www.nytimes
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/pages/about-it-gets-better-project/
Eric Schmidt: Every 2 Days We Create As Much Information As We Did Up To 2003
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/26/opinion/buffett-a-minimum-tax-for-thewealthy.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/11.09/ppt2.html
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/11.09/ppt2.html
N-30 Notes
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13. Mount, A. (1973). Speech before the Southern Baptist Conven-
tion. In W. A. Linkugel, R. R. Allen, & R. Johannessen (Eds.), Con-
temporary American speeches (3rd ed., pp. 203–205). Belmont, CA:
Wadsworth, p. 204.
14. Rudolf, H. J. (1983, Summer). Robert F. Kennedy at Stellenbosch
University. Communication Quarterly, 31, 205–211.
15. Preface to Barbara Bush’s speech, “Choices and Change,” in Peter-
son, O. (Ed.). (1991). Representative American speeches, 1990–1991.
New York: H. W. Wilson, p. 162.
16. Bush, B. (1990, June 1). Choices and change. Speech presented to
the graduating class of Wellesley College in Wellesley, MA, on
June 1, 1990. Reprinted in Peterson (1991), p. 166.
17. DeVito, J. A. (1986). The communication handbook: A dictionary.
New York: Harper & Row, pp. 84–86.
18. Rodriguez, G. (2010). How to develop a winning sales plan.
Retrieved from www.powerhomebiz.com/062006/salesplan.htm.
19. Sanfilippo, B. (2010). Winning sales strategies of top performers.
Retrieved from www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sanfilippo2.html.
http://www.powerhomebiz.com/062006/salesplan.htm
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Sanfilippo2.html
9780190297084_G1-G8_Glossary.indd G-1 10/05/16 07:51 PM
G-1
abstraction ladder A range of more- to less-abstract terms
describing an event or object. 109
abstract language Language that lacks specificity or does not
refer to observable behavior or other sensory data. 110
actuate To move members of an audience toward a specific
behavior. 381
addition The articulation error that involves adding extra
parts to words. 314
ad hominem fallacy A fallacious argument that attacks the
integrity of a person to weaken his or her position. 386
advising response Helping response in which the receiver
offers suggestions about how the speaker should deal
with a problem. 145
affect blend The combination of two or more expressions,
each showing a different emotion. 168
affect displays Facial expressions, body movements, and
vocal traits that reveal emotional states. 157
affinity The degree to which people like or appreciate one
another. As with all relational messages, affinity is usu-
ally expressed nonverbally. 198
all-channel network A communication network pattern in
which group members are always together and share all
information with one another. 252
altruistic lies Deception intended to be unmalicious, or even
helpful, to the person to whom it is told. 207
ambushing A style in which the receiver listens carefully to
gather information to use in an attack on the speaker. 132
analogy An extended comparison that can be used as sup-
porting material in a speech. 339
analytical listening Listening in which the primary goal
is to fully understand the message, prior to any
evaluation. 139
analyzing statement A helping style in which the listener
offers an interpretation of a speaker’s message. 145
anchor The position supported by audience members before
a persuasion attempt. 375
androgynous Combining both masculine and feminine
traits. 46
anecdote A brief, personal story used to illustrate or support
a point in a speech. 339
argumentum ad populum fallacy Fallacious reasoning based on
the dubious notion that because many people favor an
idea, you should, too. 387
argumentum ad verecundiam fallacy Fallacious reasoning that
tries to support a belief by relying on the testimony of
someone who is not an authority on the issue being
argued. 387
articulation The process of pronouncing all the necessary
parts of a word. 314
assertive communication A style of communicating that
directly expresses the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feelings,
delivered in a way that does not attack the receiver. 225
asynchronous communication Communication that occurs
when there’s a lag between receiving and responding to
messages. 18
attending The process of focusing on certain stimuli from
the environment. 127
attitude The predisposition to respond to an idea, person,
or thing favorably or unfavorably. 302
attribution The process of attaching meaning. 49
audience analysis A consideration of characteristics, includ-
ing the type, goals, demographics, beliefs, attitudes, and
values of listeners. 301
audience involvement The level of commitment and atten-
tion that listeners devote to a speech. 358
audience participation Listener activity during a speech; a
technique to increase audience involvement. 359
authoritarian leadership A style in which the designated
leader uses coercive and reward power to dictate the
group’s actions. 257
avoidance spiral A communication spiral in which the par-
ties slowly reduce their dependence on one another, with-
draw, and become less invested in the relationship. 222
bar chart A visual aid that compares two or more values by
showing them as elongated horizontal rectangles. 363
basic speech structure The division of a speech into introduc-
tion, body, and conclusion. 325
behavioral description An account that refers only to observ-
able phenomena. 110
belief An underlying conviction about the truth of an idea,
often based on cultural training. 302
brainstorming A method for creatively generating ideas in
groups by minimizing criticism and encouraging a large
quantity of ideas without regard to their workability or
ownership by individual members. 287
G-1
Glossary
G-2 Glossary
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breadth (of self-disclosure) The range of topics about which
an individual discloses. 201
breakout groups A strategy used when the number of mem-
bers is too large for effective discussion. Subgroups simul-
taneously address an issue and then report back to the
group at large. 281
cause-effect pattern An organizing plan for a speech that
demonstrates how one or more events result in another
event or events. 330
chain network A communication network in which
information passes sequentially from one member to
another. 252
channel The medium through which a message passes from
sender to receiver. 7
chronemics The study of how humans use and structure
time. 175
citation A brief statement of supporting material in a
speech. 341
climax pattern An organizing plan for a speech that
builds ideas to the point of maximum interest or
tension. 329
coculture The perception of membership in a group that is
part of an encompassing culture. 69
coercive power The power to influence others by the threat
or imposition of unpleasant consequences. 266
cohesiveness The totality of forces that causes members to
feel themselves part of a group and makes them want to
remain in that group. 276
collectivistic culture A culture in which members focus on
the welfare of the group as a whole, rather than a concern
by individuals for their own success. 72
column chart A visual aid that compares two or more
values by showing them as elongated vertical
rectangles. 363
comforting A response style in which a listener reassures,
supports, or distracts the person seeking help. 146
communication The process of creating meaning through
symbolic interaction. 5
communication climate The emotional tone of a relationship
as it is expressed in the messages that the partners send
and receive. 216
communication competence The ability to maintain a rela-
tionship on terms acceptable to all parties. 20
compromise An approach to conflict resolution in which
both parties attain at least part of what they seek by
giving something up. 235
conclusion (of a speech) The final structural unit of a speech,
in which the main points are reviewed and final remarks
are made to motivate the audience to act or help listeners
remember key ideas. 334
confirming messages Actions and words that express respect
and value the other person. 218
conflict An expressed struggle between at least two interde-
pendent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce
rewards, and interference from the other party in achiev-
ing their goals. 215
conflict stage When group members openly defend their
positions and question those of others. 280
connection power The influence granted by virtue of a mem-
ber’s ability to develop relationships that help the group
reach its goal. 266
connotative meanings Informal, implied interpretations for
words and phrases that reflect the people, culture, emo-
tions, and situations involved. 97
consensus Agreement among group members about a
decision. 289
contempt Verbal and nonverbal messages that ridicule or
belittle the other person. 220
content message A message that communicates information
about the subject being discussed. 198
control The social need to influence others. 199
convergence Accommodating one’s speaking style to
another person, usually a person who is desirable or has
higher status. 105
conversational narcissists People who focus on themselves
and their interests instead of listening to and encouraging
others. 133
convincing A speech goal that aims at changing audience
members’ beliefs, values, or attitudes. 380
coordination Interaction in which participants interact
smoothly, with a high degree of satisfaction but without
necessarily understanding one another well. 30
counterfeit question A question that is not truly a request for
new information. 135
credibility The believability of a speaker or other source of
information. 390
critical listening Listening in which the goal is to evaluate the
quality or accuracy of the speaker’s remarks. 140
criticism A message that is personal, all-encompassing, and
accusatory. 220
culture The language, values, beliefs, traditions, and cus-
toms people share and learn. 69
cyber relationship An affiliation between people who know
each other only through the virtual world. 187
database A computerized collection of information that
can be searched in a variety of ways to locate information
that the user is seeking. 306
debilitative communication apprehension An intense level of
anxiety about speaking before an audience, resulting in
poor performance. 307
decode To attach meaning to a message. 7
defensive listening A response style in which the receiver per-
ceives a speaker’s comments as an attack. 132
defensiveness Protecting oneself by counterattacking the
other person. 220
deletion An articulation error that involves leaving off parts
of words. 314
democratic leadership A style in which the nominal leader
invites the group’s participation in decision making. 257
demographics Audience characteristics that can be analyzed
statistically, such as age, gender, education, and group
membership. 301
denotative meanings Formally recognized definitions for
words, as in those found in a dictionary. 97
depth (of self-disclosure) The level of personal information a
person reveals on a particular topic. 201
Glossary G-3
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description A type of speech that uses details to create a
“word picture” of the essential factors that make that
thing what it is. 352
developmental models of relational maintenance Theoreti-
cal frameworks based on the idea that communication
patterns are different in various stages of interpersonal
relationships. 194
diagram A line drawing that shows the most important
components of an object. 362
dialect A version of the same language that includes sub-
stantially different words and meanings. 97
dialectical model The perspective that people in virtually
all interpersonal relationships must deal with equally
important, simultaneous, and opposing forces such as
connection and autonomy, predictability and novelty,
and openness versus privacy. 204
dialogue A process in which people let go of the notion that
their ideas are more correct or superior to others’ and
instead seek to understand an issue from many different
perspectives. 282
direct aggression A message that attacks the position and
perhaps the dignity of the receiver. 225
direct persuasion Persuasion that does not try to hide or dis-
guise the speaker’s persuasive purpose. 381
disconfirming messages Words and actions that express a lack
of caring or respect for another person. 219
disfluencies Vocal interruptions such as stammering and use
of “uh,” “um,” and “er.” 170
disinhibition The tendency to transmit messages without
considering their consequences. 27
divergence A linguistic strategy in which speakers empha-
size differences between their communicative style and
that of others to create distance. 106
dyad A two-person unit. 11
dyadic communication Two-person communication. 11
dysfunctional roles Individual roles played by group mem-
bers that inhibit the group’s effective operation. 255
either–or fallacy Fallacious reasoning that sets up false
alternatives, suggesting that if the inferior one must be
rejected, then the other must be accepted. 386
emblems Deliberate nonverbal behaviors with precise
meanings, known to virtually all members of a cultural
group. 162
emergence stage When a group moves from conflict toward
a single solution. 280
emergent leader A member who assumes leadership roles
without being appointed by higher-ups. 261
emotional evidence Evidence that arouses the sentiments of
an audience. 385
emotive language Language that conveys an attitude rather
than simply offering an objective description. 113
empathy The ability to project oneself into another person’s
point of view, so as to experience the other’s thoughts
and feelings. 52
encode Put thoughts into symbols, most commonly words. 7
environment Both the physical setting in which communica-
tion occurs and the personal perspectives of the parties
involved. 8
equivocal words Words that have more than one dictionary
definition. 107
equivocation A deliberately vague statement that can be
interpreted in more than one way. 114
escalatory spiral A reciprocal pattern of communication
in which messages, either confirming or disconfirm-
ing, between two or more communicators reinforce one
another. 222
ethical persuasion Persuasion in an audience’s best interest
that does not depend on false or misleading information
to induce change in that audience. 377
ethnicity A social construct that refers to the degree to
which a person identifies with a particular group, usu-
ally on the basis of nationality, culture, religion, or some
other unifying perspective. 78
ethnocentrism The attitude that one’s own culture is supe-
rior to others’. 89
ethos A speaker’s credibility or ethical appeal. 393
euphemism A mild or indirect term or expression used in
place of a more direct but less pleasant one. 114
evidence Material used to prove a point, such as testimony,
statistics, and examples. 385
expert power The ability to influence others by virtue
of one’s perceived expertise on the subject in
question. 265
explanations Speeches or presentations that clarify ideas
and concepts already known but not understood by an
audience. 252
extemporaneous speech A speech that is planned in advance
but presented in a direct, conversational manner. 311
face The socially approved identity that a communicator
tries to present. 55
facework Verbal and nonverbal behavior designed to create
and maintain a communicator’s face and the face of
others. 55
facilitative communication apprehension A moderate level of
anxiety about speaking before an audience that helps
improve the speaker’s performance. 307
factual example A true, specific case that is used to demon-
strate a general idea. 338
factual statement A statement that can be verified as being
true or false. 112
fallacy An error in logic. 386
fallacy of approval The irrational belief that it is vital to win
the approval of virtually every person a communicator
deals with. 309
fallacy of catastrophic failure The irrational belief that the
worst possible outcome will probably occur. 308
fallacy of overgeneralization Irrational beliefs in which
(1) conclusions (usually negative) are based on lim-
ited evidence or (2) communicators exaggerate their
shortcomings. 309
fallacy of perfection The irrational belief that a worthwhile
communicator should be able to handle every situation
with complete confidence and skill. 308
family A collection of people who share affection and
resources and who think of themselves and present
themselves as a family. 191
G-4 Glossary
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feedback The discernible response of a receiver to a sender’s
message. 9
flaming Sending angry and/or insulting emails, text mes-
sages, and website postings. 27
focus group A procedure used in market research by spon-
soring organizations to survey potential users or the
public at large regarding a new product or idea. 281
force field analysis A method of problem analysis that identi-
fies the forces contributing to resolution of the problem
and the forces that inhibit its resolution. 287
formal outline A consistent format and set of symbols used
to identify the structure of ideas. 325
formal role A role assigned to a person by group members or
an organization, usually to establish order. 252
forum A discussion format in which audience members
are invited to add their comments to those of the official
discussants. 281
frame switching Adopting the perspectives of different
cultures. 57
gatekeeper Person in a small group through whom com-
munication among other members flows. 252
gender Socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and
attributes that a society considers appropriate for men
and/or women. 46
general purpose One of three basic ways a speaker
seeks to affect an audience: to entertain, inform, or
persuade. 299
group A small collection of people whose members interact
with one another, usually face-to-face, over time in order
to reach goals. 246
group goals Goals that a group collectively seeks to
accomplish. 249
groupthink A group’s collective striving for unanimity
that discourages realistic appraisals of alternatives to its
chosen decision. 293
haptics The study of touch. 172
hearing The process wherein sound waves strike the ear-
drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the
brain. 126
hegemony The dominance of one culture over another. 89
hidden agendas Individual goals that group members are
unwilling to reveal. 249
high-context culture A culture that relies heavily on subtle,
often nonverbal cues to maintain social harmony. 93
hypothetical example An example that asks an audience to
imagine an object or event. 338
identity management Strategies used by communicators to
influence the way others view them. 55
illustrators Nonverbal behaviors that accompany and sup-
port verbal messages. 162
immediacy The degree of interest and attraction we feel
toward and communicate to others. As with all rela-
tional messages, immediacy is usually expressed
nonverbally. 199
impromptu speech A speech given “off the top of one’s
head,” without preparation. 311
indirect communication Hinting at a message instead of
expressing thoughts and feelings directly. 223
indirect persuasion Persuasion that disguises or deempha-
sizes the speaker’s persuasive goal. 381
individual goals Individual motives for joining a group. 249
individualistic culture A culture in which members focus on
the value and welfare of individual members, as opposed
to a concern for the group as a whole. 72
inferential statement A conclusion arrived at from an inter-
pretation of evidence. 112
informal role A role usually not explicitly recognized by a
group that describes functions of group members, rather
than their positions. These are sometimes called “func-
tional roles.” 252
information anxiety The psychological stress that occurs
when dealing with too much information. 350
information hunger Audience desire, created by a speaker, to
learn information. 355
information overload The decline in efficiency that occurs
when the rate of complexity of material is too great to
manage. 350
information underload The decline in efficiency that occurs
when there is a shortage of the information necessary to
operate effectively. 291
informative purpose statement A complete statement of the
objective of a speech, worded to stress audience knowl-
edge and/or ability. 354
in-groups Groups with which we identify. 71
insensitive listening The failure to recognize the thoughts
or feelings that are not directly expressed by a speaker,
and instead accepting the speaker’s words at face
value. 133
instructions Remarks that teach something to an audience
in a logical, step-by-step manner. 352
insulated listening A style in which the receiver ignores unde-
sirable information. 133
intergroup communication The interaction between members
of different cocultures. 69
interpersonal communication Communication in which the
parties consider one another as unique individuals rather
than as objects. It is characterized by minimal use of ste-
reotyped labels; unique, idiosyncratic social rules; and a
high degree of information exchange. 11, 183
interpretation The perceptual process of attaching mean-
ing to stimuli that have previously been selected and
organized. 44
intersectionality The idea that people are influenced in
unique ways by the complex overlap and interactions of
multiple identities. 79
intimacy A state of closeness between two (or sometimes
more) people. Intimacy can be manifested in several
ways: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and via
shared activities. 192
intimate distance One of Hall’s four distance zones, ranging
from skin contact to 18 inches. 173
intrapersonal communication Communication that occurs
within a single person. 10
intro A brief explanation or comment before a visual aid is
used. 361
Glossary G-5
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introduction (of a speech) The first structural unit of a speech,
in which the speaker captures the audience’s attention
and previews the main points to be covered. 332
irrational thinking Beliefs that have no basis in reality
or logic; one source of debilitative communication
apprehension. 308
jargon Specialized vocabulary used as a kind of shorthand by
people with common backgrounds and experience. 108
Johari Window A model that describes the relationship
between self-disclosure and self-awareness. 201
judging response A reaction in which the receiver evaluates
the sender’s message either favorably or unfavorably. 144
kinesics The study of body movement, gesture, and
posture. 166
knowledge The understanding acquired by making sense of
the raw material of information. 351
laissez-faire leadership A style in which the designated leader
gives up his or her formal role, transforming the group
into a loose collection of individuals. 257
language A collection of symbols, governed by rules and
used to convey messages between individuals. 97
latitude of acceptance In social judgment theory, statements
that a receiver would not reject. 375
latitude of noncommitment In social judgment theory, state-
ments that a receiver would not care strongly about one
way or another. 375
latitude of rejection In social judgment theory, statements
that a receiver could not possibly accept. 375
Leadership Grid A two-dimensional model that identifies
leadership styles as a combination of concern for people
and for the task at hand. 258
legitimate power The ability to influence a group owing to
one’s position in a group. 264
linear communication model A characterization of communi-
cation as a one-way event in which a message flows from
sender to receiver. 7
line chart A visual aid consisting of a grid that maps out the
direction of a trend by plotting a series of points. 364
linguistic intergroup bias The tendency to label people and
behaviors in terms that reflect their in-group or out-
group status. 106
linguistic relativism The notion that language influences the
way we experience the world. 102
listening The process wherein the brain reconstructs electro-
chemical impulses generated by hearing into representa-
tions of the original sound and gives them meaning. 126
listening fidelity The degree of congruence between what a
listener understands and what the message sender was
attempting to communicate. 127
logos A speaker’s use of logical arguments to appeal to an
audience’s sense of reasoning. 393
lose–lose problem solving An approach to conflict resolution
in which neither party achieves its goals. 235
low-context culture A culture that uses language primar-
ily to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas as directly as
possible. 93
manipulators Movements in which one part of the body
grooms, massages, rubs, holds, pinches, picks, or other-
wise manipulates another part. 167
manuscript speech A speech that is read word for word from
a prepared text. 311
mass communication The transmission of messages to large,
usually widespread audiences via broadcast, print, multi-
media, and other forms of media, such as recordings and
movies. 13
mediated communication Communication sent via a medium
other than face-to-face interaction, e.g., telephone,
email, and instant messaging. It can be both mass and
personal. 7
memorized speech A speech learned and delivered by rote
without a written text. 311
message A sender’s planned and unplanned words and
nonverbal behaviors. 7
metacommunication Messages (usually relational)
that refer to other messages; communication about
communication. 200
mindful listening Being fully present with people—paying
close attention to their gestures, manner, and silences, as
well as to what they say. 128
model (in speeches and presentations) A replica of an object
being discussed. It is usually used when it would be dif-
ficult or impossible to use the actual object. 361
monochronic The use of time that emphasizes punctuality,
schedules, and completing one task at a time. 175
narration The presentation of speech supporting material as
a story with a beginning, middle, and end. 340
narrative The stories people create and use to make sense of
their personal worlds. 48
noise External, physiological, and psychological distrac-
tions that interfere with the accurate transmission and
reception of a message. 7
nominal group technique A method for including the ideas of
all group members in a problem-solving session. 287
nominal leader The person who is identified by title as the
leader of a group. 264
nonassertion The inability or unwillingness to express one’s
thoughts or feelings. 223
nonverbal communication Messages expressed by other than
linguistic means. 155
norms Shared values, beliefs, behaviors, and procedures
that govern a group’s operation. 250
number chart A visual aid that lists numbers in tabular form
in order to clarify information. 362
opinion statement A statement based on the speaker’s
beliefs. 112
organization The perceptual process of organizing stimuli
into patterns. 43
organizational communication Communication that occurs
among a structured collection of people in order to meet
a need or pursue a goal. 11
organizational culture A relatively stable, shared set of rules
about how to behave and a set of values about what is
important. 86
G-6 Glossary
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orientation stage When group members become familiar
with one another’s positions and tentatively volunteer
their own. 280
out-groups Groups of people that we view as different from
us. 71
outro A brief summary or conclusion after a visual aid has
been used. 361
panel discussion A discussion format in which participants
consider a topic more or less conversationally, without
formal procedural rules. Panel discussions may be facili-
tated by a moderator. 281
paralanguage Nonlinguistic means of vocal expression: rate,
pitch, tone, and so on. 168
paraphrasing Feedback in which the receiver rewords the
speaker’s thoughts and feelings. 136
parliamentary procedure A problem-solving method in which
specific rules govern the way issues may be discussed and
decisions made. 281
participative decision making A process in which people con-
tribute to the decisions that will affect them. 274
passive aggression An indirect expression of aggression,
delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a
facade of kindness. 225
pathos A speaker’s use of emotional appeals to persuade an
audience. 393
perceived self The person we believe ourselves to be in
moments of candor. It may be identical to or different
from the presenting and ideal selves. 55
perception checking A three-part method for verifying the
accuracy of interpretations, including a description of the
sense data, two possible interpretations, and a request for
confirmation of the interpretations. 54
personal distance One of Hall’s four distance zones, ranging
from 18 inches to 4 feet. 173
personality The set of enduring characteristics that define
a person’s temperament, thought processes, and social
behavior. 38
persuasion The act of motivating a listener, through com-
munication, to change a particular belief, attitude, value,
or behavior. 375
phonological rules Linguistic rules governing how sounds
are combined to form words. 98
phubbing A mixture of the words phone and snubbing, used
to describe episodes in which people pay more atten-
tion to their devices than they do to the people around
them. 185
pictogram A visual aid that conveys its meaning through an
image of an actual object. 362
pie chart A visual aid that divides a circle into wedges, repre-
senting percentages of the whole. 362
pitch The highness or lowness of one’s voice. 314
polychronic The use of time that emphasizes flexible sched-
ules in which multiple tasks are pursued at the same
time. 175
post hoc fallacy Fallacious reasoning that mistakenly
assumes that one event causes another because they
occur sequentially. 386
power The ability to influence others’ thoughts and/or
actions. 264
power distance The degree to which members of a group
are willing to accept a difference in power and
status. 76
pragmatic rules Rules that govern how people use language
in everyday interaction. 99
prejudice An unfairly biased and intolerant attitude toward
others who belong to an out-group. 89
presenting self The image a person presents to others. It may
be identical to or different from the perceived and ideal
selves. See also face. 55
problem census A technique used to equalize participation
in groups when the goal is to identify important issues
or problems. Members first put ideas on cards, which are
then compiled by a leader to generate a comprehensive
statement of the issue or problem. 281
problem-solution pattern An organizing pattern for a speech
that describes an unsatisfactory state of affairs and then
proposes a plan to remedy the problem. 330
procedural norms Norms that describe rules for the group’s
operation. 250
prompting Using silence and brief statements of encourage-
ment to draw out a speaker. 147
proposition of fact A claim bearing on issue in which
there are two or more sides of conflicting factual
evidence. 378
proposition of policy A claim bearing on an issue that
involves adopting or rejecting a specific course of
action. 380
proposition of value A claim bearing on an issue involving
the worth of some idea, person, or object. 380
proxemics The study of how people and animals use
space. 173
pseudolistening An imitation of true listening. 132
public communication Communication that occurs when a
group becomes too large for all members to contribute. It
is characterized by an unequal amount of speaking and
by limited verbal feedback. 13
public distance One of Hall’s four distance zones, extending
outward from 12 feet. 173
purpose statement A complete sentence that describes pre-
cisely what a speaker wants to accomplish. 299
questioning An approach in which the receiver overtly seeks
additional information from the sender. 135
race A construct originally created to explain differences
between people whose ancestors originated in different
regions of the world—Africa, Asia, Europe, and so on. 78
rate The speed at which a speaker utters words. 313
reappropriation The process by which members of a mar-
ginalized group reframe the meaning of a term that has
historically been used in a derogatory way. 100
receiver One who notices and attends to a message. 7
reductio ad absurdum fallacy Fallacious reasoning that unfairly
attacks an argument by extending it to such extreme
lengths that it looks ridiculous. 386
Glossary G-7
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referent power The ability to influence others by virtue of
the degree to which one is liked or respected. 266
reflected appraisal The influence of others on one’s
self-concept. 38
reflecting Listening that helps the person speaking hear and
think about the words just spoken. 147
reinforcement stage When group members endorse the deci-
sion they have made. 280
relational listening A listening style that is driven primarily
by the concern to build emotional closeness with the
speaker. 137
relational message A message that expresses the social rela-
tionship between two or more individuals. 198
relational spiral A reciprocal communication pattern in
which each person’s message reinforces the other’s. 221
relative words Words that gain their meaning by
comparison. 108
remembering The act of recalling previously introduced
information. Recall drops off in two phases: short term
and long term. 127
residual message The part of a message a receiver can recall
after short- and long-term memory loss. 127
respect The degree to which we hold others in
esteem. 199
responding Providing observable feedback to another per-
son’s behavior or speech. 127
reward power The ability to influence others by the granting
or promising of desirable consequences. 266
richness A term used to describe the abundance of nonver-
bal cues that add clarity to a verbal message. 17
roles The patterns of behavior expected of group
members. 252
rule An explicit, officially stated guideline that governs
group functions and member behavior. 250
salience How much weight we attach to a particular person
or phenomenon. 71
script Habitual, reflexive way of behaving. 57
selection The perceptual act of attending to some stimuli in
the environment and ignoring others. 43
selective listening A listening style in which the receiver
responds only to messages that interest him or her. 132
self-concept The relatively stable set of perceptions each
individual holds of himself or herself. 36
self-disclosure The process of deliberately revealing informa-
tion about oneself that is significant and that would not
normally be known by others. 200
self-esteem The part of the self-concept that involves evalua-
tions of self-worth. 37
self-fulfilling prophecy A prediction or expectation of an
event that makes the outcome more likely to occur than
would otherwise have been the case. 41
self-serving bias The tendency to interpret and explain infor-
mation in a way that casts the perceiver in the most favor-
able manner. 50
semantic rules Rules that govern the meaning of language as
opposed to its structure. 99
sender The originator of a message. 7
servant leadership A style based on the idea that a leader’s
job is mostly to recruit outstanding team members and
provide the support they need to do a good job. 257
sex A biological category such as male, female, or
intersex. 46
significant other A person whose opinion is important
enough to affect one’s self-concept strongly. 38
signpost A phrase that emphasizes the importance of
upcoming material in a speech. 358
sincere question A question posed with the genuine desire to
learn from another person. 135
situational leadership A theory that argues that the most
effective leadership style varies according to leader–
member relations, the nominal leader’s power, and the
task structure. 257
slang Language used by a group of people whose members
belong to a similar coculture or other group. 108
slurring The articulation error that involves overlapping the
end of one word with the beginning of the next. 314
small group communication Communication within a group
of a size such that every member can participate actively
with the other members. 11
social comparison Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we
compare with others. 39
social distance One of Hall’s four distance zones, ranging
from 4 to 12 feet. 173
social exchange theory The idea that we seek out people who
can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the
costs we encounter in dealing with them. 187
social judgment theory An explanation of attitude change
that posits that opinions will change only in small
increments and only when the target opinions lie
within the receiver’s latitudes of acceptance and
noncommitment. 375
social loafing The tendency of some people to do less work as
a group member than they would as an individual. 250
social media Digital communication channels used primar-
ily for personal reasons, often to reach small groups of
receivers. 16
social norms Group norms that govern the way members
relate to one another. 250
social penetration model A theory that describes how inti-
macy can be achieved via the breadth and depth of
self-disclosure. 201
social roles Emotional roles concerned with maintaining
smooth personal relationships among group members.
Also termed “maintenance functions.” 255
sociogram A graphic representation of the interaction pat-
terns in a group. 251
sound bite A brief recorded excerpt from a longer
statement. 361
space pattern An organizing plan in a speech that arranges
points according to their physical location. 329
specific purpose The precise effect that the speaker wants to
have on an audience. It is expressed in the form of a pur-
pose statement. 299
stage hogs People who are more concerned with making their
own points than with understanding the speaker. 133
G-8 Glossary
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statistic Numbers arranged or organized to show how
a fact or principle is true for a large percentage of
cases. 338
stereotyping The perceptual process of applying exaggerated
beliefs associated with a categorizing system. 49
stonewalling Refusing to engage with the other person. 220
substitution The articulation error that involves replacing
part of a word with an incorrect sound. 314
supportive listening The reception approach to use when
others seek help for personal dilemmas. 142
survey research Information gathering in which the
responses of a population sample are collected to disclose
information about the larger group. 306
symbol An arbitrary sign used to represent a thing, person,
idea, event, or relationship in ways that make communi-
cation possible. 6
sympathy Compassion for another’s situation. See also
empathy. 53
symposium A discussion format in which partici-
pants divide the topic in a manner that allows each
member to deliver in-depth information without
interruption. 281
synchronous communication Communication that occurs in
real time. 18
syntactic rules Rules that govern the ways in which symbols
can be arranged as opposed to the meanings of those
symbols. 98
target audience That part of an audience that must be influ-
enced in order to achieve a persuasive goal. 388
task norms Group norms that govern the way members
handle the job at hand. 250
task-oriented listening A listening style that is primarily con-
cerned with accomplishing the task at hand. 134
task roles Roles group members take on in order to help
solve a problem. 255
territory Fixed space that an individual assumes some right
to occupy. 174
testimony Supporting material that proves or illustrates a
point by citing an authoritative source. 339
thesis statement A complete sentence describing the central
idea of a speech. 300
time pattern An organizing plan for a speech based on
chronology. 329
topic pattern An organizing plan for a speech that arranges
points according to logical types or categories. 329
trait theories of leadership A school of thought based on the
belief that some people are born to be leaders and others
are not. 257
transactional communication model A characterization of
communication as the simultaneous sending and
receiving of messages in an ongoing, irreversible
process. 9
transformational leaders Defined by their devotion to help a
team fulfill an important mission. 260
transition A phrase that connects ideas in a speech by show-
ing how one relates to the other. 334
uncertainty avoidance The cultural tendency to seek stability
and honor tradition instead of welcoming risk, uncer-
tainty, and change. 75
understanding The act of interpreting a message by follow-
ing syntactic, semantic, and pragmatic rules. 127
value A deeply rooted belief about a concept’s inherent
worth. 302
virtual groups People who interact with one another
via mediated channels, without meeting
face-to-face. 248
visual aids Graphic devices used in a speech to illustrate or
support ideas. 361
vocal citation A simple, concise, spoken statement of the
source of your evidence. 357
Web 2.0 The Internet’s evolution from a one-way medium
into a “masspersonal” phenomenon. 16
wheel network A communication network in which a gate-
keeper regulates the flow of information from all other
members. 252
win–lose problem solving An approach to conflict resolution
in which one party reaches his or her goal at the expense
of the other. 234
win–win problem solving An approach to conflict resolution
in which the parties work together to satisfy all their
goals. 236
word chart A visual aid that lists words or terms in tabular
form in order to clarify information. 362
working outline A constantly changing organizational aid
used in planning a speech. 325
wrap-around A brief introduction before a visual aid
is presented, accompanied by a brief conclusion
afterward. 361
PHOTOGRAPHS
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CARTOONS
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cartoonbank.com. All Rights Reserved.; 16 Alex Gregory The New
Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 24 CALVIN and HOBBES ©
1994 Watterson. Distributed by UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE.
Reprinted with permission. All Rights Reserved.; 29 Mick Stevens The
New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 42 Edward Frascino The
New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 47 Edward Koren The
New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 53 William Steig The New
Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 61 Peter Steiner The New Yorker
Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 79 Paul Noth The New Yorker Collection/
The Cartoon Bank; 88 © 2011 Malcolm Evans; 103 Drew Dernavich
The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 117 Leo Cullum The
New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 126 © 2003 Zits Partnership
Distribtued by King Features Syndicate, Inc.; 130 DILBERT © 2009
Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights
reserved.; 133 CALVIN and HOBBES © 1995 Watterson. Reprinted by
permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All Rights Reserved.; 136 Courtesy
of Ted Goff; 159 DILBERT © 1991 Scott Adams. Used by permission of
UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.; 165 DILBERT © 2006 Scott
Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.;
169 Alex Gregory The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 200
Leo Cullum The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 201 Leo
Cullum The New Yorker Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 205 ©2006
Zits Partnership Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.; 219 Ted
Goff, North America Syndicate, 1994; 234 Leo Cullum The New Yorker
Collection/The Cartoon Bank; 245 THE FAR SIDE ©1987 FARWORKS,
INC. Used by permission. All rights reserved.; 292 Source: © Original
Artist. Reproduction rights obtainable from www.CartoonStock.com;
337 DILBERT © 2006 Scott Adams. Used by permission of UNIVERSAL
C-1
Credits
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http://www.CartoonStock.com
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UCLICK. All rights reserved.; 360 By permission of Leigh Rubin and
Creators Syndicate, Inc.
TABLES AND FIGURES
Page 17 Source: Lenhart, A. (2015). Teens, technologies, and
friendships. Pew Research Center. http://www.pewinternet.
org/2015/08/06/teens-technology-and-friendships/.; 26 Source:
Adapted from R. B. Adler, J. M. Elmhorst, & K. Lucas. (2003).
Communicating at work: Strategies for success in business and the
professions (11th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill, p. 14.; 27 Source:
Raine, L., & Zickuhr, K. (2015, August 26). Americans’ views on
mobile etiquette. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from http://
www.pewinternet.org/files/2015/08/2015-08-26_mobile-etiquette_
FINAL .; 72 Source: Adapted from F. Trompenaars. (2012). Riding
the waves of culture, 3rd ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, p. 67.; 73
Source: Adapted by Sandra Sudweeks from H. C. Triandis. (1990).
Cross-cultural studies of individualism and collectivism. In J. Berman
(Ed.), Nebraska symposium on motivation (pp. 41–133). Lincoln:
University of Nebraska Press; and E. T. Hall. (1976). Beyond culture.
New York: Doubleday.; 84 Source: J. Harwood. (2007). Understanding
communication and aging: Developing knowledge and awareness.
Newbury Park, CA: Sage, p. 76.; 131 Four Thought Patterns. Source:
A.D. Wolvin and C.G. Coakley, Perspectives on Listening (Norwood,
NJ: Ablex, 1993), p. 115.; 155 Source: Adapted from John Stewart,
J., & D’Angelo, G. (1980). Together: Communicating interpersonally
(2nd ed.). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, p. 22. Copyright © 1993
by McGraw-Hill. Reprinted/adapted by permission.; 165 Source:
Based on material from Ekman, P. (1981). Mistakes when deceiving.
In T. A. Sebok & R. Rosenthal (Eds.), The clever Hans phenomenon:
Communication with horses, whales, apes and people (pp. 269–278).
New York: New York Academy of Sciences. See also Samhita, L.
& Gross, H. (2103). The “Clever Hans Phenomenon” revisited.
Communicative & Integrative Biology 6(6), e27122. doi: 10.4161/
cib.27122; 207 Source: Adapted from categories originally presented
in Camden, C., Motley, M.T., & Wilson, A. White lies in interpersonal
communication: A taxonomy and preliminary investigation of social
motivations. Western Journal of Speech Communication, 48, 315.;
221 Source: Adapted from Hess, J. A. (2002). Distance regulation
in personal relationships: The development of a conceptual model
and a test of representational validity. Journal of Social and Personal
Relationships, 19, 663–683.; 255 Source: “Functional Roles of Group
Members” and “Dysfunctional Roles of Group Members,” adapted
from Wilson, G., & Hanna, M. (1986). Groups in context: Leadership
and participation in decision-making groups, pp. 144–146. Reprinted
by permission of McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.; 256 Source: Adapted
with permission of The Free Press, a division of Macmillan, Inc., from
Bass, B. M. Stodgill’s handbook of leadership (Rev. ed.). Copyright
© 1974, 1981 by The Free Press.; 258 Source: The Leadership Grid®
Figure from Blake, R. R., & McCanse, A. A. Leadership dilemmas–grid
solutions. Houston, TX: Gulf, p. 29. Copyright © 1991 by Scientific
Methods, Inc. Reproduced by permission of the owners.; 265 Source:
Adapted from Rothwell, J. D. (1998). In mixed company: Small
group communication (3rd ed.). Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace,
pp. 252–272. Reprinted with permission of Wadsworth, an imprint
of the Wadsworth Group, a division of Thomson Learning. Fax
800-730-2215.; 278 Source: Adapted from research summarized
in Wheelan, S. A., Murphy, D., Tsumaura, E., & Kline, S. F. (1998).
Member perceptions of internal group dynamics and productivity.
Small Group Research, 29, 371–393.; 287 Source: Adapted from
Brilhart, J., & Galanes, G. Adapting problem-solving methods. Effective
group discussion (10th ed.), p. 291. Copyright © 2001. Reprinted by
permission of McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.; 362 Source: http://
www.kon.org/urc/v13/ewert.html; 363 Adapted from graphjam.
com; 363 Source: http://hubpages.com/literature/mostreadbooks;
364 Source: Washington Post.; 378 Source: Adapted from Andersen,
M. K. (1979). An analysis of the treatment of ethos in selected speech
communication textbooks (Unpublished dissertation). University of
Michigan, Ann Arbor, pp. 244–247.
http://www.pewinternet
http://www.pewinternet.org/files/2015/08/2015-08-26_mobile-etiquette_
http://www.pewinternet.org/files/2015/08/2015-08-26_mobile-etiquette_
http://www.kon.org/urc/v13/ewert.html
http://www.kon.org/urc/v13/ewert.html
http://hubpages.com/literature/mostreadbooks
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-1 10/05/16 08:21 PM
I-1
Abstraction ladder, 109, 111
Abstract language, 109–111
Academic Search Premier, 306
Accenting, 162
Accents, 79, 170
Accommodation, 223
Accuracy, in group problem
solving, 274
Acknowledgment, 146, 218–219
Acronyms, 108
Action zone, 312
Active strategies, 91
Activists (follower type), 263
Acts of service, 193
Actuating, 381, 382
Addition, 314
Ad hominem fallacy, 386
Adoption, 381
Advice/advising response,
125, 144
Affect blends, 168
Affect displays, 157
Affective communication style, 117
Affiliation, 105–106
Affinity, 198
Affirming language, 193
Age/generation
of audience members, 301–302
as a coculture, 84–85
perception and, 45
Aggression, 261
direct, 224, 225
passive, 224, 225
Aggressor (role), 255
Agreement, 56, 146, 219
Ahn, Jean-Sun Hannah, 26
All-channel networks, 252
Allocca, Kevin, 356–357
Alternation, 205
Altman, Irwin, 201
Altruistic lies, 207
Ambiguity, 30
cultural differences in tolerance
for, 88
of nonverbal communication,
157–158
Ambushing, 132, 133
Analogies, 339, 388
Analytical listening, 139–140
Analyzing statements, 145, 146
Anchor (in persuasion) 375
Anchorman (film), 332
Anderson, Grant, 334
Androgynous sex type/role, 46–47
Anecdotes, 333, 339
Anticlimactic organization, 329
Anxiety uncertainty management theory,
91
Appearance/physical attractiveness,
170–171, 185–186, 312
Appropriateness in communication
competence, 23
Approval, fallacy of, 309
Argumentum ad populum fallacy, 387
Argumentum ad verecundiam fallacy, 387
Aristotle, 15, 256, 393
Arranged (film), 82
Articulation, 314
Asch, Solomon, 293
Aslay, Jonathan, 196
Assertive communication, 223, 224,
225–230, 261
characteristics of, 226–230
defined, 225
Assumptions
about human behavior, 45
questions based on unchecked, 136
of similarity, 51–52
Asynchronous communication, 18,
184, 233, 284
Attending, 127
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
(ADHD), 45–46
Attitudes
of audience members, 302–304
defined, 302
informative speaking and, 353
language as a reflection of,
104–107
language in shaping of, 100–104
nonverbal communication of, 157
positive, 309–310
Attraction
in groups (mutual), 278
language of, 106
Attribution, 49
Audience, 301–304
capturing attention of, 332, 333
demographics of, 301–302
expectations of, 304
imaginary, 85
for informative speeches, 358–361
for persuasive speeches, 383–385,
388–390
purpose of, 301
for social vs. mass media, 16
target, 388
Audience analysis, 301–304
Audience involvement, 358–361
Audience participation, 359–360
Audio files (for speeches), 361
Authoritarian leadership style,
257
Authority, appeal to, 387
I-1
Index
I-2 Index
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-2 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Authority obedience management,
259–260
Authority rule, 290
Autism, 168
Autonomy-connection dialectic, 204
Avengers, The (film series) 273
Avoidance, 221, 223
Avoidance spirals, 222
Avoiding stage of relationships, 197
Bach, George, 202, 225
Bachelor, The (television program),
182, 202
Bachelorette, The (television program),
182, 202, 208
Bales, Robert, 254
Bandwagon appeals, 387
Bar charts, 362, 363
Basic speech structure, 325
Bee, Samantha, 337
Begging the question, 388
Behavior
appropriate, ability to choose, 23
interpretation of, 44, 45, 227
skill at performing, 23
wide range of, 21–23
Behavioral descriptions, 110–111,
226–227
Being Wrong (Schulz), 359
Beliefs
of audience members, 302–304
defined, 302
language as a reflection of, 104–107
language in shaping of, 100–104
Belt line, psychological, 203
Berkun, Scott, 276
Beyoncé, 202
Bibliography, 325, 342, 394–395
Bieber, Justin, 175
Big Bang Theory (television program),
225
Biological cycles, 45
Bipolar disorder, 45–46
Black-ish (television program), 85
Blake, Robert R., 258, 260
Blind area (Johari window), 201, 202
Blocker (role), 255
Blogs, 13, 17
Bloomberg website, 17
Body (speech), 357
Body movements
during speech, 312
types of, 166–168
Bonding stage of relationships, 196
Booth, Wayne, 325
Boyle, Julia, 339
Bradberry, Travis, 257–258
Brainstorming, 287
Breadth of self-disclosure, 201
Breakout groups, 281
Brown, Brené, 214, 215, 216, 218, 221,
237, 238, 239, 240
Brown, Chris, 233
Bruhwiler, Barbara, 91
Buffett, Warren, 356
Burleson, Brant, 21
“But” statements, 107
Bystanders (follower type), 263
Canons of Rhetoric (Aristotle), 15
CARE mnemonic, 330
Caruso, Robert, 143
Catastrophic failure, fallacy of, 308
Cause-effect patterns, 330–331
Cell phones, 27, 29
Chain networks, 252
Chalkboards, 364
Chang, Jenni, 350, 351, 357, 361,
366–370
Chang, Lynn Chih-Ning, 91
Channels, 7, 26
Chapman, Gary, 193
Character, 391
Charisma, 256, 392
Charts, 361–364
Child-parent relationship, 191
Chronemics, 175
Circumscribing stage of relationships,
196–197
Citations, 341
vocal, 357–358
Climax patterns, 329
Closeness-communication bias, 7
Clothing, 171, 172
Cochran, Jacoby, 335
Cocultures, 69–71, 74, 161
defined, 69
types, 78-87
Coercion, 375
Coercive power, 265, 266
Cognitive complexity, 24, 87
Cohesiveness, 276–280
Collaboration, 56–57
Collectivistic cultures, 40, 71
characteristics of, 72–74
conflict styles in, 232
defined, 72
self-concept in, 73
Collins, James, 256
Column charts, 362, 363
Comforting, 146–147
Commitment
communication competence and, 24
in group problem solving, 274
Communication
in a changing world, 13–16
characteristics of, 5–6
defined, 5
functions of, 18–20
misconceptions about, 29–31
modeling, 7–10
types of, 10–13
Communication (database), 306
Communication apprehension,
307–310
culture and, 73
overcoming, 309–310
sources of, 308–309
Communication climates, 216–222
creating positive, 222–223
defined, 216
development of, 221–222
Communication competence, 20–29
characteristics of, 21–24
defined, 20–21
intercultural, 87–92
nonverbal, 176–177
with social media, 24–29
Competence, 141, 261, 390–391
See also Communication competence
Competitive cultures, 77–78
Complementing, 162
Compromise, 235
Computer-mediated communication
alienation caused by, 220
conflict in, 233–234
drawbacks of, 184–185
eavesdropping on, 143
ending relationships via, 198
face-to-face communication
compared with, 28–29, 156
friendship quality and, 191
identity management in, 61
intercultural, 88
interpersonal relationships in,
184–185
language and, 105–106, 109
meeting a date in person, 196–197
nonverbal expressiveness in, 163
perception in, 44, 52
social support and, 142
trust development in, 283
Index I-3
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-3 10/05/16 08:21 PM
See also Email; Instant messaging;
Internet; Social media; Text
messaging; Virtual groups
Concealment, 208
Concepts, speeches about, 352
Conciliator (role), 254
Conclusion (speech), 334, 357
Confirming messages, 218–219
Conflict, 212–241
in computer-mediated
communication, 233–234
cultural influences on, 72, 73,
231–233
defined, 215
gender and, 230–231
methods for resolution of,
234–236
styles of expressing, 223–226
understanding, 215–216
Conflict stage of groups, 280
Conformity, 11, 293
Connection-autonomy dialectic, 204
Connection power, 266
Connotative meanings, 97–98
Consensus, 289, 290
Consequence statements, 227
Constructive criticism, 144
Contact hypothesis, 87–88
Contempt, 220
Content
of gender-based language, 117
informative speaking by, 352
user-generated, 17
Content-free speech, 170
Content messages, 198–199
Contradicting, 164
Contrastive stimuli, 43, 51
Control
communication climate and, 222
in relational messages, 199
Convergence, 105–106
Conversational narcissism, 133
Convincing, 380–381, 382
Cook, Ethel, 336
Cooper, Anderson, 81
Cooperative cultures, 77–78
Coordination, 30
Coordinator (role), 253
Counterfeit questions, 135–136
Country club management, 259
Covey, Stephen, 125
Craft of Research, The (Booth et al.), 325
“Crazymaking” behavior, 224, 225
Creative problem solving, 287–288
Credibility
critical listening and, 141
defined, 390
language and, 101–102
persuasive speaking and,
390–392
public communication and,
333–334
of websites, 306
Critical listening, 140–141
Criticism
constructive, 144
in group problem solving, 287
in interpersonal relationships, 220
Cuddy, Amy, 155, 167
Culture, 66–93
communication competence and,
87–92
conflict styles and, 72, 73, 231–233
defined, 69
friendship and, 190
group problem solving and, 290
language and, 104, 107
listening and, 132
nonverbal communication and,
159–161
perception and, 46–48
self-concept and, 40, 73
self-disclosure and, 91, 202–203
time and, 175
understanding, 69–71
values and norms in, 71–78
vocal patterns, 160
See also Cocultures; Diversity
Culture shock, 91
Currency
of evidence, 385
of websites, 306
Cyberbullying, 27
Cyber relationships, 184–185
Cynic (role), 255
Daily Beast, 17
Darwin, Charles, 160
Databases, 306
Dazols, Lisa, 350, 351, 357, 361,
366–370
Debilitative communication
apprehension, 307–310
Decategoriztion, 50
Deception, 30, 164–166, 221, 377
See also Honesty; Lies
Decoding, 7, 9, 157–158, 161
Defensive listening, 132, 133
Defensiveness, 220
Definitions, 337
Degrading, 221
De Klerk, F. W., 261
Deletion, 314
Delivery (speech), 311–315
auditory aspects of, 313–315
types of, 311
visual aspects of, 312–313
Democratic leadership style,
257
Demographics, audience, 301–302
Demonstrative pronoun choice, 106
Denial, 205
Denotative meanings, 97
Depth of self-disclosure, 201
Derived credibility, 390
Deschanel, Zooey, 160
Descriptions, 352
Deserter (role), 255
Detachment, 221
Developmental model of relationship
maintenance, 194–197
Devil’s advocate, 293
Dewey, John, 284
Diagnostician (role), 253
Diagrams, 362
Dialectical model/tensions, 203–206
Dialects, 96–97, 314, 315
Dialogue, 282
DiCaprio, Leonardo, 186, 299
Dictionary.com, 356
Diehards (follower type), 264
Differentiating stage of relationships,
196
DiMarco, Nyle, 83
Direct aggression, 224, 225
Direct persuasion, 381
Disclaimers, 105
Disconfirming messages, 219–221
Disconnecting, 31
Discontinuance, 381
Discounting, 221
Disfluencies, 170
Disinhibition, 27, 233
Disorientation, 205
Disruptive language, 112–114
Dissimulation, 31
Distance, 159–160
power, 76–78, 290
types of, 173–174
Distancing tactics, 221
Divergence, 106
Diversion, 146
I-4 Index
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-4 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Expressed struggle, 215
Extemporaneous speeches, 311
External noise. See Physical noise
Eye contact, 160, 161, 168, 313
Face, 55, 74
Facebook, 14, 16, 40, 62, 163, 184
“Facebook official” relationship status,
196
Face saving, 104, 114, 144, 207–208,
224, 232
Face-to-face communication, 7, 9, 14
computer-mediated communication
compared with, 28–29, 156
mediated communication compared
with, 17–18
percentage of teens using, 17
pros and cons of, 26
Facework, 55
Facial expressions, 80, 159, 161, 168,
313
Facilitative communication
apprehension, 307
Factiva, 306
Facts
citing startling, 333
inferences vs., 112–113
opinions vs., 112
propositions of, 378–380
Factual examples, 338
Fallacies, 141, 308–309, 386–387, 388
False cause fallacy, 386–387
Familiarity, 45, 330, 333, 355, 356
Family
relationships in, 191–193
rules and norms in, 251
Faulty analogies, 388
Feedback, 9, 13, 127
Feeling expresser (role), 254
Feiler, Bruce, 192
Feiler, Linda, 192
Feminine sex type/role, 46–47
Fiennes, Ralph, 109
Filley, Albert, 235
First-generation college (FCG) students,
85–87
First impressions, 51, 187
Flaa, Jennifer, 196
Flaming, 27, 233
Flip pads, 364–366
Focus groups, 281
Foggy mirror concept, 62
Follower (role), 254
Followership, 263–267
perception and, 52–54
Encoding, 10, 158
Energizer (role), 253
Environments, 8–9, 174–175
Epley, Nicholas, 169
Equivocal words, 107–108
Equivocation, 114–116, 207
Escalatory spirals, 222
Ethical persuasion, 377, 382, 385, 388
Ethics
of adapting to a hostile audience, 390
of adapting to speaking situations,
302
of analyzing communication
behaviors, 378
of civility when values clash, 91
of clothing and impression
management, 171
of communicating vs. not
communicating, 31
of conflict management, 227
of euphemisms and equivocations,
114
of free vs. hate speech, 102
of group participation inequality, 292
of hidden agendas, 250
of honesty, 40
of listening, 139
of lying and evading, 206
of multiple identities, 63
of online extracurricular
relationships, 185
of simplicity, 356
of supporting material, 340
Ethnicity, 78–79
Ethnocentrism, 89, 354
Ethos, 393
Etiquette for social media use, 27–29,
30
Euphemisms, 114
Evaluator/critic (role), 254
Evasive language, 114–116, 206,
207–208
Events, speeches about, 352
Evidence, 140, 385–386
Examples, 338
Expectations
of audience, 304
perception and, 45
Experimenting stage of relationships,
195–196
Expert opinion, 290
Expert power, 265–266
Explanations, 352
Diversity
of American dialects, 315
of audience members, 301
communicating with the disabled, 83
in emotional expressiveness, 232
of gender pronoun choice, 81
group, 274
of identity management and coming
out, 58
information affected by, 354
of language and worldview, 103
of multicultural teams, 275
nontraditional organization patterns,
331
in other-sex friendships, 189, 190
persuasion differences, 387
See also Culture
Division, rule of, 327
Dolezal, Rachel, 37
Dominator (role), 255
Dunn, Nathan, 336–337
Dyad(s), 11
Dyadic communication, 11
Dysfunctional roles, 255, 256, 292
Eggleston, T. Stephen, 336
Either-or fallacy, 386
Elaborator/clarifier (role), 253
Ellis, Albert, 308
Ellis, Donald, 233
Email, 7, 10, 29, 106, 156, 198, 252
identity management in, 61
percentage of teens using, 17
pros and cons of, 26
at work, 12
Emblems, 162
Emergence stage of groups, 280
Emergent leader, 261
Emoticons, 160, 163
Emotional appeals, 141
Emotional dimension
of empathy, 52–53
of nonverbal communication, 157
of perception, 43
Emotional evidence, 385
Emotional expressiveness, 232, 233
Emotional intelligence, 158
Emotive language, 48, 113–114
Empathy, 23–24
communication climate and, 223
conflict resolution and, 222
defined, 52
dimensions of, 52–53
intercultural communication and, 87
Index I-5
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-5 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Harmonizer (role), 254
Harris, Jillian, 208
Hasty generalizations, 388
Hate speech, 102
Hayakawa, S. I., 109
Health and nutrition, 45
Hearing
listening vs., 126–127
problems with, 130–131
Hedges, 105, 118, 119
Hegemony, 89
Help, offers of, 146, 149
Hesitations, 105, 118, 119
Hidden agendas, 136, 249–250
Hidden area (Johari window), 201, 202
High-context cultures, 74–75, 132, 190,
232
Hinting, 207–208
“Hispanic Girls United” (Twitter feed),
49
Honesty, 40, 61–63, 223, 391
See also Deception; Lies
Hostility, neutralizing, 389–390
Hsieh, Tony, 4, 5, 10, 12, 16, 19, 31
Huffington Post, 17
Humblebragging, 60
Humor and jokes, 21–23, 57, 225, 333,
359
Humoring, 221
Hussein, Yasmin, 82
Hypothetical examples, 338
Idealized narratives, 48
Identity management, 56–63
characteristics of, 56–59
in computer-mediated
communication, 61
defined, 55
honesty and, 61–63
nonverbal communication and, 156
public and private selves in, 55
reasons for, 59–61
in the workplace, 59
Identity needs, 17, 19, 355
Illustrators, 162
Imaginary audience, 85
Immediacy, 199
Impartiality, 141, 391
Impersonality, 221
Impoverished management, 258–259
Impromptu speeches, 311
Inattention, 221
Indirect communication, 223–224
Indirect persuasion, 381–382
Gieseck, Alyssa, 339
Gifts, 193
Girls (television program), 69
Goals
group, 249, 278
individual, 249–250
perceived incompatibility of, 216
relational, 258–260
social, 249
task, 249, 258–260
Goffman, Erving, 55
Golden rule, 194
Goldschmidt, Walter, 19
Google, 292, 340
Google Scholar, 305
Gottman, John, 219–221
Graham, Katharine, 332, 333, 334
Grandparents and grandchildren,
191–192
Greenwood, Heather, 79
Griesinger, Chris, 337
Griffith, Eric, 25
Groscurth, Christopher, 87
Group(s), 242–269
audience membership in, 302
characteristics of, 250–256
dealing with difficult members, 279
defined, 246
followership in (see Followership)
leadership in (see Leadership)
nature of, 245–249
Group goals, 249, 278
Group problem solving, 270–295
advantages of, 273–274
cohesiveness in, 276–280
decision-making methods in,
289–290
defined, 273
developmental stages in, 280
indications for, 274–276
overcoming dangers in, 291–293
in special circumstances, 286
strategies and formats for, 280–284
structured approach to, 284–289
Groupthink, 293
Grumstrip, Christen, 25
Guiltmakers, 225
Hall, Edward T., 159, 173
Hallum, Elizabeth, 330–331
Hancox, Lewis, 81
Handouts, 365–366
Haptics, 172
Hard copy, 26
power of, 264–266
types of, 263–264
Force field analysis, 287, 288
Formality, 71
Formal outlines, 325
Formal roles, 252
Forming stage of groups, 250
Forums, 281
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, 220
Fox, Myron L., 101–102
Frame switching, 57
Friendship, 188–191
communication competence and, 21
culture and, 70
in groups, 279
listening and, 126
Friendzoning, 188
Functional roles. See Informal
(functional) roles
Game of Thrones (television program),
97
Gandhi, Mahatma, 256
Gangs, 87
Gatekeeper (role), 252, 254
Gates, Bill, 260, 338
Gates, Melinda, 260
Gay
as a coculture, 80–82
coming out by, 58, 81
friendship and, 190–191
intimacy styles in, 193
marriage in, 89
See also LGBTQ movement
Gender
of audience members, 301
conflict styles and, 230–231
culture and, 77–78
defined, 46
empathy and, 53
intimacy styles and, 192–193
language and, 104, 107–108, 116–119
nonverbal communication and,
157–158, 161
perception and, 46–47
pronoun use and, 81
social support and, 142–144
Gender identity, 46–47, 80–82
Generalizations, 44, 49, 71, 388
General purpose, 299
Genie (isolated child), 19
Gergen, Kenneth, 6
Gestures, 159, 161, 167–168
Gibb, Jack, 222
I-6 Index
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-6 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Jobs, Steve, 21
Johari Window, 201–202
Jokers, 23, 225, 255
Jokes. See Humor and jokes
Jolie, Angelina, 389
Jongintaba, 245, 246
Judging response, 144–145, 149
Kardashian, Kim, 62, 160
Kellerman, Barbara, 263, 264
Kelley, Robert, 263
Kennedy, Robert, 389
Key ideas, 135, 138
Keynote (software), 364
Khan, Sadiq, 78
Kim, Young Yum, 91
Kinesics, 166
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 329, 330, 331
Knapp, Alex, 109
Knapp, Mark, 194–195, 196, 197
Knowledge, 45, 89–91, 351, 352
Koehler, Carol, 330
Kotelnikov, Vadim, 336
Krakauer, John, 246
LaFasto, Frank, 247
LaGuardia, Fiorello, 159
Laissez-faire leadership style, 257,
259
Language, 94–121
defined, 96, 97
gender and, 104, 107–108, 116–119
identity management and, 56
in informative speaking, 356
of love, 193–194
nature of, 96–100
power of, 100–107
troublesome, 107–116
Larson, Carl, 247
Latitudes of acceptance, rejection, and
noncommitment, 375–376
Laughter, 58, 160
Leadership, 256–262
emergent, 261
listening and, 125
situational, 257
styles of, 257
trait theories of, 256
transformational, 260–261
Leadership Grid, 258–260
Leets, Laura, 74
Legitimate power, 264, 265
Levine, Kathy, 358
Intergroup communication, 69, 70–71
Internet
evaluation of websites, 306
impact of, 14
as a masspersonal phenomenon, 16
plagiarism and, 340
speech research on, 305–306
virtual proximity on, 187
See also Computer-mediated
communication
Internet addiction disorder (IAD), 28
Interpersonal communication, 180–211
characteristics of, 183–185
choosing relational partners for,
185–188
communication climates in (see
Communication climates)
conflict in (see Conflict)
defined, 11, 183
dialectical perspective of
relationships, 203–206
patterns in relationships, 198–208
self-disclosure in (see Self-disclosure)
types of relationships in, 188–197
Interpretation, 44, 45, 227
Interrupting, 274
Intersectionality, 79
Intersex individuals, 46, 80
Interviewing, 306
Intimacy, 192–193
Intimate distance, 173
Intrapersonal communication, 10–11
Introduction (speech), 332–334,
356–357
Intros, 361
Inverted pyramid format, 336
Invisible stigmas, 59
“I” orientation, 73, 74
Irrational thinking, 308–309
Isaacs, David, 282
Isolates (follower type), 263
“I” statements, 107, 222
It Gets Better Project, 82, 350
“It” statements, 107
Iyer, Pico, 88
Jackson, Jesse, Sr., 340
Jaffe, C., 331
Jaiswal, Vat, 96, 98, 105, 119
James, William, 43
Jargon, 108–109
Jealousy, 21
Jenner, Caitlyn, 36, 38, 63
Individual goals, 249–250
Individualistic cultures, 40, 71
characteristics of, 72–74
conflict styles in, 232
defined, 72
self-concept in, 73
Inferential statements, 112–113
Influence, attempts at, 29
Informal (functional) roles, 252, 253–
255, 256
Information anxiety, 350, 351
Information giver (role), 253
Information hunger, 354, 355
Information overload, 291, 350, 351
Information power, 265
Information seeker (role), 253
Information underload, 290, 291
Informative purpose statement,
354–355
Informative speaking, 348–371
emphasizing important points in,
358
organization and structure of,
356–357
persuasive speaking vs., 353
sample speech, 366–370
techniques of, 353–361
types of, 352–353
visual aids in (see Visual aids)
In-groups, 71, 82, 106
Initial credibility, 390
Initiating stage of relationships, 195
Initiator/contributor (role), 253
Insensitive listening, 133
Instant messaging, 7, 17, 26, 98, 106,
117
Instructions, 352–353
Instrumental communication style, 118
Insulated listening, 133
Integrating stage of relationships, 196
Intensifiers, 105
Intensifying stage of relationships, 196
Intensity of stimuli, 43, 50–51
Intention statements, 227–229
Interaction
in groups, 246, 250–252
in mass vs. social media, 16–17
persuasion and, 376–377
shortening of, 221
Interaction constructs, 43
Interdependence
conflict and, 215
in groups, 246, 275, 279
Index I-7
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Misunderstandings, language of,
107–111
Mixed messages, 164
Mizner, Wilson, 133
Mnemonics, 330
Modality switching, 196
Models, as visual aids, 361
Moderation, 206
Moderators, 281, 284
Modern Family (television program), 231
Monochronic cultures, 175
Monroe, Alan, 331
Mood, of speech, 333
Morris, Desmond, 204
Motivated Sequence, 331–332, 384
Motives, perception and, 43, 51
Mouton, Jane S., 258, 260
Mullen, Chris, 25
Mullenweg, Matt, 272, 283, 291, 293
Multitasking, 129, 130
Murphy’s Law, 288
My Fair Lady (musical), 102
Naming, 100–101
Narration, 340–341
Narratives, 48–49
Needs, 17, 18–20, 355
Negation, 106
Neurological conditions, 45–46
Neylon, Andrew, 324, 326, 327, 334
Nicole, Erica, 124, 127
Niemiec, Ewa, 232
Noise, 7–8, 129–130, 229
Nominal group technique, 287–288,
292
Nominal leader, 264
Nonassertion, 223
Noncommitment, latitude of,
375–376
Nondefensive listening, 132–133
Nonimmediacy, 221
Nonverbal communication, 9, 10,
152–179, 199
characteristics of, 155–159
competence building in, 176–177
defined, 155
functions of, 162–166
influences on, 159–161
types of, 166–175
Nonverbal learning disorder (NVLD),
158–159
Nonvocal communication, 155
Norming stage of groups, 250
Manuscript speeches, 311
Marasmus, 172
Mars-Venus metaphor of gender
differences, 116, 161, 230
Masculine sex type/role, 46–47
Mass communication, 13
Mass media, 16–17
Mass Media Complete, 306
McCarley, Evan, 340–341
McCarthy, Melissa, 176
Medero, Kristina, 374, 377, 382,
393–397
Media
attitudes shaped by, 15
culture shaped by, 70
listening challenges caused by, 132
mass vs. social, 16–17
Mediated communication, 10
defined, 7
face-to-face communication
compared with, 17–18
See also Computer-mediated
communication
Mehrabian, Albert, 106
Memorized speeches, 311
Message(s)
confirming, 218–219
content, 198–199
differences in reception of, 128
disconfirming, 219–221
evaluating, 140
in linear model, 7
mixed, 164
relational, 198–199
residual, 127
separating the speaker from,
139–140
unexpressed, 138
Message overload, 129
Messaging apps, 17
Metacommunication, 200, 222
Metaphors, 339
Meyer, Emily, 333
Meyers, Seth, 197
Microaggressions, 46
Middle of the road management, 260
Miller, Terry, 82
Minaj, Nicki, 62
Mindful listening, 125, 127, 128
Mindless listening, 128
Minnow, Martha, 191
Minority control, 290
Mirroring, 166
Levine, Robert, 175
LexisNexis, 306
LGBTQ movement, 80–82, 350,
366–370
See also Gay
Library research, 306
Lies, 206–208
See also Deception; Honesty
Lie to Me (television program), 166
Lincoln, Abraham, 309
Linear communication model, 7–9
Line charts, 363, 364
Linguistic intergroup bias, 106
Linguistic relativism, 102, 103
Listening, 122–151
as acknowledgment, 218
analytical, 139–140
critical, 140–141
defined, 126
faulty habits in, 132–133
to informative speeches, 355–356
misconceptions about, 126–128
overcoming challenges to effective,
129–133
reasons for poor, 129–132
relational, 137–139
supportive, 142–149
task-oriented, 134–137
types of, 134–141
value of, 125–126
Listening fidelity, 127
Literacy rates, 14
Logos, 393
Lookism, 171
Lose-lose problem solving, 235
Lovato, Demi, 74
Love goggles, 48
Love languages, 193–194
Low-context cultures, 74–75, 190, 232
Lowe, Sean, 182
Luo, Bin (“Robin”), 68–69, 72, 73, 74,
76, 92
Ma, Jack, 257
Mader, Diane, 103
Mahoney, Brianna, 303
Main points of speech, 327, 332–333
Maintenance roles. See Social roles
Majority control, 289, 290
Mandela, Nelson, 244, 245, 249, 256,
260–261, 263, 267
Manipulation, 222
Manipulators, 167–168
I-8 Index
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-8 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Physical attractiveness. See Appearance/
physical attractiveness
Physical constructs, 43
Physical needs, 17, 18–19, 355
Physical noise, 7, 130, 229
Physiological influences, 44–46
Physiological noise, 7–8
Pictograms, 362, 363
Pie charts, 362, 363
Pitch, voice, 314
Place, for speech, 304
Placebo effect, 42
Plagiarism, 340, 377
Platinum rule, 26
Plato, 188
Polarization, 206
Policy, propositions of, 380
Polisetti, Sneha, 302
Politeness, 104, 105
Polychronic cultures, 175
Polymer marking surfaces, 364
Porter, Richard, 354, 387
Portlandia (television program), 170
Position power. See Legitimate power
Poster boards, 364–365
Post hoc fallacy, 386–387
Posture, 166–167, 312
Potter, Jennifer, 81
Power
defined, 264
of followers, 264–266
of language, 100–107
use of space and, 174
win-lose conflicts and, 234
Power distance, 76–78, 290
Powerful language, 104–105, 118
Powerless language, 104–105, 118
PowerPoint, 364, 365
Practical needs, 17, 19–20, 355
Practice, for speech, 311, 312
Pragmatic rules, 99–100
Praise, 146
Predictability-novelty dialectic, 205
Prejudice, 89
Preparation, for speech, 310
Presentation software, 364, 365
Presenting self, 55
Prezi, 364, 365
Privacy, 28
Privacy-openness dialectic, 204–205
Problem(s)
communication limits in solving, 30
persuasive speaking on, 383–384
Parallel wording, rule of, 327–328
Paraphrasing, 136–137, 138, 147–149,
340, 360
Parent-child relationship, 191
Parliamentary procedure, 281
Participants (follower type), 263
Participation
group, 291–293
leadership and, 261
Participative decision making, 274
Passive aggression, 224, 225
Passive observation, 91
Pathos, 393
Pease, Jonathan, 143
Perceived self, 55
Perception, 42–54
common tendencies in, 49–52
in computer-mediated
communication, 44, 52
empathy and, 52–54
influences on, 44–48
narratives and, 48–49
steps in, 43–44
Perception checking, 113, 138, 227
defined, 54
described, 53–54
in nonverbal communication, 176
Perceptual schemata, 43–44
Perfection
fallacy of, 308–309
as a relationship turn-off, 187
Performing stage of groups, 250
Perry, Katy, 62, 160
Personal distance, 173
Personal experience, 45
Personal fables, 85
Personality, 38
Perspective taking, 23–24, 52, 73
Persuasive speaking, 372–399
categorizing types of, 378–382
characteristics of, 375–377
creating the message, 382–387
credibility in, 390–392
defined, 375
informative speaking vs., 353
sample speech, 393–397
structure of, 382–385
Petrocelli, Tom, 143
Phonological rules, 98
Photos (visual aids), 361
Phubbing, 185
Physical ability/disability,
83–84
Norms
cultural, 71–78
group, 250, 251, 279
Notes for speaking, 325–326
Note-taking, 137, 138
#NotInMyName movement, 82
Novelty-predictability dialectic, 205
Number charts, 362
“N”-word, 99, 100
Obama, Barack, 78–79
Obama, Michelle, 70
Object(s)
speeches about, 352
as visual aids, 361
Objectivity, of website information, 306
Occasion, for speech, 304, 333
Occupational roles, 47
Ogden, C. K., 97, 98
O’Neill, Essena, 185
Open area (Johari window), 201, 202
Open-mindedness, 89
Openness-privacy dialectic, 204–205
Opinion(s)
citing startling, 333
expert, 290
facts vs., 112
Opinion giver (role), 253
Opinion seeker (role), 253
Orbe, Mark, 87
Organization
of informative speeches, 356–357
of outlines, 328–332
perception and, 43–44
Organizational communication, 11–12
Organizational culture, 86
Orientation stage of groups, 280
Orienter/summarizer (role), 253
Out & Around (film), 350
Out-groups, 71, 82, 103, 106
Outlines, 325–332
formal, 325
organization of, 328–332
principles of, 327–328
samples, 326, 341–342
standard format for, 327
standard symbols used in, 327
working, 325
Outros, 361
Overgeneralization, fallacy of, 309
Panel discussions, 281
Paralanguage, 168–170, 313
Index I-9
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-9 10/05/16 08:21 PM
Residual message, 127
Resources
group, 273–274
perceived scarcity of, 216
Respect, 199
Responding, 9, 10, 127
Responsibility, language of, 107
Restraint, 221
Restriction of topics, 221
Result orientation, 299–300
Reward(s)
for audience response, 385
relationship, 187
Reward power, 265, 266
Rhetoric, 15
Rhetoric (Aristotle), 15
Richards, I. A., 97, 98
Richness, communication channel, 17,
61, 156, 163
Rihanna, 308
Ripple effect, 246
Rivas, J. C., 58
Robbie, Margot, 186
Robert’s Rules of Order, 281
Rodriguez, George, 392
Role(s)
in groups, 252–256
occupational, 47
relational, 47–48
sex, 46–47
social, 254, 255, 256
Role constructs, 43
Role fixation, 256
Romantic relationships, 117, 126,
192–197
Rothwell, J. Dan, 291
Rule(s)
group, 250, 251
of language, 98–100
Rule of seven, 366
Sachiko, 88
Salience, 70–71
Samovar, Larry A., 354, 387
Sampter, Wendy, 21
Sanfilippo, Barbara, 392
Sapir-Wharf hypothesis, 103
Sarah Q (blogger), 142
Sarcasm, 170
Savage, Dan, 82
Schoch, Erin, 337, 338
Schulz, Kathryn, 359, 360
Scripts, 57
Question(s)
for audience, 333
in group problem solving, 285–286
listening and, 135–136, 138,
145–146
statements vs., 107, 136
tag, 105, 119, 314
Question-and-answer period, 360–361
Quotations, 333, 339–340
Race, 78–79
Racism, 103–104
Radio, 14, 15
Rapid thought, 129
Rate, speech, 313
Reaffirmation, 206
Reappropriation, 100
Reasoning, examining, 140
Reassurance, 146
Receivers, 7, 9, 157
Recognition, 218
Recognition seeker (role), 255
Reddit, 142
Red herrings, 388
Reductio ad absurdum fallacy, 386
Referent power, 265, 266
Reflected appraisal, 38
Reflecting, 147–149
Reflective thinking method, 284
Reframing, 206
Regional differences, 79–80
Regionalisms, 108
Regulating, 163–164
Reinforcement stage of groups, 280
Rejection, latitude of, 375–376
Relational goals, 258–260
Relational listening, 137–139
Relational messages, 198–199
Relational nature
of communication, 6
of communication competence, 21
of nonverbal communication,
156–157
Relational roles, 47–48
Relational satisfaction, 45
Relational spirals, 221–222
Relative words, 108
Religion, 82–83
Remembering, 127
Repetition, 162, 358
Repetitious stimuli, 51
Research, 304–307
Reserve, 221
role-related, 256
See also Group problem solving
Problem census, 281
Problem-solution patterns, 330
Procedural norms, 250
Procedure developer (role), 253
Process(es)
communication as, 5–6
speeches about, 352
Profanity, 100
Project runway (television program), 170
Prompting, 138, 147
Propaganda, 15
Propositions, 378–380
of fact, 378–380
of policy, 380
of value, 380
ProQuest, 306
Proxemics, 173
Proximity, 187
Pseudoaccommodators, 225
Pseudolistening, 132, 133
Psychological constructs, 43
Psychological noise, 7, 8, 129–130, 229
Public communication, 296–321,
322–347
analyzing the situation, 301–304
defined, 13
defining the purpose, 299
delivery guidelines, 311–315
delivery types, 311
gathering information for, 304–307
practicing for, 311, 312
sample speeches, 315–319, 341–345,
366–370, 393–397
transitions in, 334–335
See also Communication
apprehension; Conclusion
(speech); Informative speaking;
Introduction (speech); Outlines;
Persuasive speaking; Structure;
Supporting material; Topic
(speech)
Public distance, 173
Purpose
audience, 301
informative speaking by, 352–353
of public communication, 299
Purpose statement, 299–300
informative, 354–355
persuasive, 382
Quality time, 193
I-10 Index
9780190297084_I1-I18_Index.indd I-10 10/05/16 08:21 PM
communication competence with,
24–29
defined, 16
etiquette for use, 27–29, 30
identity management in, 62
limiting time on, 25
mass media compared with, 16–17
percentage of teens using, 17
posting precautions, 26–27
safety on, 29
social comparison on, 40
understanding, 16–18
uses of, 18
See also Computer-mediated
communication
Social media listening, 143
Social needs, 17, 19, 60, 355
Social norms, 250
Social penetration model, 201
Social rituals, 29
Social roles, 254, 255, 256
Social support, 142–149
Socioeconomic status, 85–87
Sociograms, 251–252
Sommer, Robert, 175
Sound bites, 361
Space, 173–174
Space patterns, 329
Specific purpose, 299
Speech acts, 99
Spirals, 221–222
Stage hogs, 133
Stagnating stage of relationships, 197
Statements vs. questions, 107, 136
Statistics, 338, 362
Status, 102, 174, 293
Stepper, John, 248
Stereotyping, 44, 49–50, 70, 78, 87–88,
89, 231, 301
abstract language and, 110
defined, 49
Steves, Rich, 89
Stewart, John, 184
Stonewalling, 220
Storming stage of groups, 250
Straw man arguments, 388
Streisand, Barbra, 113–114
Structure, 324–326
basic speech, 325
of informative speeches, 356–357
of persuasive speeches, 382–385
Subpoints of speech, 327
Substituting, 162
Substitution, 314
7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The
(Covey), 125
Sex (act), 107–108, 192–193
Sex (biological), 46
Sexism, 102–103
Sex roles, 46–47
Sexting, 26–27
Sexual harassment, 47, 226, 305
Sexual orientation, 80–82, 190–191
Shakespeare, William, 109
Shark Tank (television program), 384
Shattuck, Roger, 19
Shortening of interaction, 221
Shrock, Andrew, 17
Siblings, 191
Significant others, 38
Sign language, 97, 155
Signposts, 358
Silence, 10, 76–77
Silverman, Sarah, 362
Similarity
assumptions of, 51–52
relationship formation and, 186
Similes, 339
Sincere questions, 135
Situational factors, in communication
competence, 20–21
Situational leadership, 257
Size
of audience, 16, 302
of groups, 246–247, 292
of visual aids, 366
Skills
in intercultural communication,
89–91
in nonverbal communication,
158–159
at performing behaviors, 23
Slackers. See Social loafing
Slang, 108
Slurring, 314–315
Small group communication, 11, 15
See also Group(s)
Small talk, 195–196
Smiling, 57, 80, 160, 161
Snapchat, 16
Snap judgments, 49–50
Social comparison, 39–40
Social distance, 173
Social exchange theory, 187
Social goals, 249
Social judgment theory, 375–376
Social loafing, 249, 250
Social media
Search engines, 305
Secretary (role), 254
Segmentation, 206
Selection
perception and, 43
strategy, 205
Selective listening, 132, 133
Self-assessment
Are You Overloaded with
Information?, 351
Communication and Your
Self-Esteem, 39
How Assertive Are You?, 228–229
How Effective Is Your Team?, 277
How Good a Follower Are You?, 264
How Sunny Is Your Communication
Climate?, 217
How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal
Communication Skills?, 167
Main Points and Subpoints, 328
Persuasive Speech, 391
Speech Anxiety Symptoms, 310
What Is Your Intercultural Sensitivity?,
90
What Is Your Listening Style?,
134–135
What Is Your love Language?, 194
Your Communication Choices, 8
Your Communication Strengths and
Goals, 22–23
Your Leadership Approach, 262
Your Use of Language, 115
Self-concept, 36–42, 55
communication with others and,
40–41
culture and, 40, 73
defined, 36–37
external influences on, 38–40
Self-disclosure, 91, 186, 190, 200–203
characteristics of effective, 202–203
defined, 200
models of, 201–202
Self-esteem, 37
Self-fulfilling prophecy, 41–42, 51, 308
Self-monitoring, 24, 57–58, 87, 164
Self-serving bias, 50
Self-serving lies, 208
Semantic rules, 99
Senders, 7, 9, 157
Seniors, patronizing speech directed at,
84, 85
Sequential placement, 106
Servant leadership, 257
Service, acts of, 193
Index I-11
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Sudden narratives, 48
Sunstrum, Kelsey, 62
Supporter/encourager (role), 254
Supporting material, 335–341
functions of, 335–337
for informative speeches,
357–358
styles of, 340–341
types of, 337–340
Supportive listening, 142–149
Survey research, 306–307
Survivor (television program), 289
Symbols/symbolism, 6, 97
Sympathy, 53
Symposiums, 281
Synchronous communication, 18
Syntactic rules, 98
Tag questions, 105, 119, 314
Talking
cultural beliefs about, 76–77
gender and, 116–117
perceived advantages of, 133
Tannen, Deborah, 79–80, 142–144,
184, 204
Target audience, 388
Task goals, 249, 258–260
Task norms, 250
Task-oriented listening, 134–137
Task roles, 252, 253, 254, 256
Taylor, Dalmas, 201
Team management, 260
Teams, 247–248
See also Group(s)
Teleconferencing, 26
Telegraph, 14
Telephone communication, 7, 14, 15,
16, 17, 26
Television, 14, 15
Tension reliever (role), 254
Terminal credibility, 390
Terminating stage of relationships, 197
Territoriality, 174
Testimony, 339–340
Text messaging, 10, 17, 18, 25, 26, 98
Thesis, 135
Thesis statement, 300–301, 354–355
Thomas, Skyler, 80
Time
factors influencing use of, 175
group formation and, 246
listening and, 138
quality, 193
for speech, 304
spent in communication, 4
Time patterns, 329
Ting-Toomey, Stella, 74
Tone, of speech, 333
Topic (speech)
choosing, 299
demonstrating the importance of,
333
informative vs. persuasive, 353
Topic patterns, 329–330
Topics, restriction of (distancing tactic),
221
Touch, 161, 172, 193–194
Trait theories of leadership, 256
Transactional communication model, 6,
9–10, 127
Transformational leaders, 260–261
Transgender individuals, 80, 81, 118
Transitions, 334–335
Triangle of meaning, 97, 98
Trivial tyrannizers, 225
Trump, Donald, 113
Trust, 164, 283
Truth, Sojourner, 331
Tufte, Edward R., 365
Tumblr, 16, 188
Turkle, Sherry, 220
Twin studies, 21
Twitter/tweets, 17, 18, 26, 98, 109
Uncertainty avoidance, 75
Understanding
communication and, 29–30
listening and, 127
Understanding Human Communication
website, 12, 13
Undifferentiated sex type, 46
Unknown area (Johari window), 202
Uptalk, 160
User-generated content, 17
Uses and gratifications theory, 18
Values
of audience members, 302–304
clash of, 91
cultural, 71–78
defined, 302
group, 279
language as a reflection of, 104–107
language in shaping of, 100–104
propositions of, 380
Van Wart, Montgomery, 257
Velasquez, Lizzie, 13
Venn diagram, 362
Verbal communication, 155
complementing, 162
contradicting, 164
nonverbal communication compared
with, 158
Vergara, Sofia, 231
Video(s)
viral, 17
as visual aids, 361
Videoconferencing/chatting, 7, 14,
17, 26
Video games, 17, 49
Villanueva, Jane (Jane the Virgin), 70
Viral videos, 17
Virtual groups, 248–249, 282–284
Virtual proximity, 187
Visual aids, 361–366
alternative media for presenting,
364–366
rules for using, 366
types of, 361–362
Visualization, 310
Vocal citations, 357–358
Vocal communication, 155
Vocal fry, 160
Vocal patterns, 160
Voice, 168–170
vocal patterns, 160
Voice mail, 7, 18, 26
Volume, voice, 313
Volunteers, 360
Wansink, Brian, 168
Wave pattern, 331
Web 2.0, 16
Webster, Daniel, 313
Weiner, Morton, 106
Weinstein, Bob, 260
“We” orientation, 73
Wheel networks, 252
Whiteboards, 364
Wideman, Stephanie, 338
Wikipedia, 305–306, 340
Wild Boy of Aveyron, 19
Wilson, Nicole, 358
Win-lose problem solving, 234–235
Winslet, Kate, 38
Win-win problem solving, 236–239
Withholders, 225
Word(s)
choosing carefully, 116
meaning and, 30, 97–98
tuning out, 176
Word charts, 362
WordPress, 272, 276
I-12 Index
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Workplace communication
communication skills and success at,
12
constructive dialogue at, 282
dealing with a difficult boss at,
260–261
delegating at, 259
humblebragging in job interviews, 60
identity management at, 59
multitasking at, 130
names and, 101
organizational culture of, 86
organizing business presentations for,
336
persuasion skills in sales, 392
power distance and culture in, 77
rules and norms of, 251
sample analysis of speaking situation
at, 305
sexual harassment at, 47, 226, 305
touch at, 172
vocal cues and, 169
Working outlines, 325
Working Out Loud (WOL) circles, 248
Worldview, 102, 103
Wrap-arounds, 361
Writing, 7, 14
YFS magazine, 124, 127
Young, Scott H., 96, 98, 105, 119
Yousafzai, Malala, 298, 299, 304,
315–319
YouTube, 17, 356
Zappos, 4, 5, 11, 12, 16, 31
Zimbardo, Philip, 47
Cover
Understanding Human Communication
Brief Contents
Contents
Preface
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Part One: Fundamentals of Human Communication
Chapter 1: Communication: What and Why
Communication Defined
Characteristics of Communication
Modeling Communication
Types of Communication
Intrapersonal Communication
Dyadic/Interpersonal Communication
Small Group Communication
Organizational Communication
Public Communication
Mass Communication
Communication in a Changing World
Changing Technology
Changing Discipline
�Understanding Social Media
Mediated Versus Face-to-Face Communication
How People Use Social Media
Functions of Communication
Physical Needs
Identity Needs
Social Needs
Practical Needs
Communication Competence: What Makes an Effective Communicator?
Communication Competence Defined
Characteristics of Competent Communicators
Communicating Competently with Social Media
Clarifying Misconceptions About Communication
Communication Does Not Always Require Complete Understanding
Communication Will Not Solve All Problems
Communication Isn’t Always a Good Thing
Meanings Rest in People, Not Words
Communication Is Not Simple
More Communication Isn’t Always Better
Features
Self-Assessment Your Communication Choices
Work Communication Skills and Career Success
Self-Assessment Your Communication Strengths and Goals
Understanding Communication Technology Dear Social Media, I Need a Little Space
Checklist Use Social Media Courteously and Wisely
Ethical Challenge To Communicate or Not to Communicate?
Chapter 2: The Self, Perception, and Communication
Communication and the Self
Self-Concept Defined
Biology, Personality, and the Self
External Influence on the Self-Concept
Culture and the Self-Concept
The Self-Concept and Communication with Others
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication
Perceiving Others
Steps in the Perception Process
Influences on Perception
Narratives, Perception, and Communication
Common Perceptual Tendencies
Perception in Mediated Communication
Empathy, Perception, and Communication
Communication and Identity Management
Public and Private Selves
Characteristics of Identity Management
Identity Management in the Workplace
Why Manage Identities?
Identity Management in Mediated Communication
Identity Management and Honesty
Features
Self-Assessment Communication and Your Self-Esteem
Ethical Challenge Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?
Checklist Check Your Perceptions Before Responding
Understanding Diversity Managing Identity and Coming Out
Work Humblebragging in Job Interviews
Understanding Communication Technology Identity Management in Social Media
Ethical Challenge Honesty and Multiple Identities
Chapter 3: Communication and Culture
Understanding Cultures and Cocultures
Intercultural and Intergroup Communication: A Matter of Salience
Cultural Differences Are Generalizations
Cultural Values and Norms Shape Communication
Individualism and Collectivism
High and Low Cultural Context
Uncertainty Avoidance
Power Distance
Beliefs About Talk and Silence
Competitive and Cooperative Cultures
Cocultures and Communication
Race and Ethnicity
Regional Differences
Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
Religion
Physical Ability/Disability
Age/Generation
Socioeconomic Status
Developing Intercultural Communication Competence
Increased Contact
Tolerance for Ambiguity
Open-Mindedness
Knowledge and Skill
Patience and Perseverance
Features
Work Power Distance and Culture in the Workplace
Understanding Diversity Gender Pronouns
Understanding Diversity Communicating with People Who Have Disabilities
Work Organizations Are Cultures, Too
Self-Assessment What Is Your Intercultural Sensitivity?
Ethical Challenge Civility When Values Clash
Part Two: Communication Elements
Chapter 4: Language
The Nature of Language
Language Is Symbolic
Meanings Are in People, Not Words
Language Is Rule Governed
The Power of Language
Language Shapes Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
Language Reflects Values, Attitudes, and Beliefs
Troublesome Language
The Language of Misunderstandings
Disruptive Language
Evasive Language
Gender and Language
Features
Work What’s in a Name?
Ethical Challenge
Understanding Diversity Language and Worldview
Understanding Communication Technology Twitter Lingo Incites Controversy
Ethical Challenge Euphemisms and Equivocations
Self-Assessment Your Use of Language
Checklist Choose Your Words Carefully
Chapter 5: Listening
The Value of Listening
Misconceptions About Listening
Myth 1: Listening and Hearing Are the Same Thing
Myth 2: Listening Is a Natural Process
Myth 3: All Listeners Receive the Same Message
Overcoming Challenges to Effective Listening
Reasons for Poor Listening
Faulty Listening Habits
Types of Listening
Task-Oriented Listening
Relational Listening
Analytical Listening
Critical Listening
Listening and Social Support
Online Social Support
Gender and Social Support
Types of Supportive Responses
When and How to Help
Features
Checklist Tips for More Mindful Listening
Work Multitasking Can Make You Stupid
Checklist Techniques for Listening Nondefensively
Self-Assessment What Is Your Listening Style?
Checklist Three Ways to Paraphrase
Checklist Taking Detailed Notes
Ethical Challenge How Carefully Should You Listen?
Checklist Evaluating a Speaker’s Message
Understanding Communication Technology Who Is Listening to You Online?
Checklist Factors to Consider Before Offering Advice
Checklist When and How to Offer an Analysis
Checklist Conditions That Make Paraphrasing a Good Option
Chapter 6: Nonverbal Communication
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal Behavior Has Communicative Value
Nonverbal Communication Is Primarily Relational
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous
Nonverbal Communication Differs from Verbal Communication
Nonverbal Skills Are Important
Influences on Nonverbal Communication
Culture
Gender
Functions of Nonverbal Communication
Repeating
Substituting
Complementing
Accenting
Regulating
Contradicting
Deceiving
Types of Nonverbal Communication
Body Movements
Voice
Appearance
Touch
Space
Environment
Time
Building Competence in Nonverbal Communication
Tune Out Words
Use Perception Checking
Pay Attention to Your Own Nonverbal Behavior
Features
Understanding Communication Technology Nonverbal Expressiveness Online
Self-Assessment How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal Communication Skills?
Work Vocal Cues and Career Success
Ethical Challenge Clothing and Impression Management
Work Touch and Career Success
Self-Assessment ANSWERS to “How Worldly Are Your Nonverbal Communication Skills?”
Part Three: Interpersonal Communication
Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication
Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication
What Makes Communication Interpersonal?
Mediated Interpersonal Communication
How We Choose Relational Partners
Evaluating Relationship Potential
Relationship Reality Check
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
Friendship
Family Relationships
Romantic Partners
Communication Patterns in Relationships
Content and Relational Messages
Metacommunication
Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships
Dialectical Perspective of Interpersonal Relationships
Lies and Evasions
Features
Ethical Challenge Is It Cheating?
Understanding Diversity Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?
Checklist Being a Better Friend
Checklist Being a Better Family Member
Self-Assessment What Is Your Love Language?
Checklist Meeting an Online Date for the First Time
Understanding Communication Technology To End This Romance, Just Press “Send”
Checklist When and How Much to Self-Disclose
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Lying and Evading
Self-Assessment ANSWERS to “What Is Your Love Language?”
Chapter 8: Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships
Understanding Interpersonal Conflict
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationships
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages
How Communication Climates Develop
Approaches to Conflict
Styles of Expressing Conflict
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Gender and Conflict Style
Cultural Influences on Conflict
Conflict in Online Communication
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
Methods for Conflict Resolution
Steps in Win–Win Problem Solving
Features
Self-Assessment How Sunny Is Your Communication Climate?
Understanding Communication Technology Can You Hear Me Now?
Checklist Creating Positive Communication Climates
Work Dealing with Sexual Harassment
Ethical Challenge It’s Nothing!
Self-Assessment How Assertive Are You?
Understanding Diversity They Seem to Be Arguing
Part Four: Communication in Groups
Chapter 9: Communicating in Groups and Teams
The Nature of Groups and Teams
What Is a Group?
What Makes a Group a Team?
Virtual Groups
Goals of Groups and Their Members
Group Goals
Individual Goals
Characteristics of Groups and Teams
Rules and Norms
Patterns of Interaction
Roles
Leadership and Communication
Understanding Leadership
Becoming a Leader
Followership and Communication
Types of Followers
The Power of Followers
Features
Checklist Building an Effective Team Online
Checklist Getting Slackers to Do Their Share
Ethical Challenge Rules for Hidden Agendas
Work “I’ll Do It Myself”—Or Should I?
Checklist Working with a Difficult Boss
Self-Assessment Your Leadership Approach
Self-Assessment How Good a Follower Are You?
Chapter 10: Solving Problems in Groups and Teams
Problem Solving in Groups: When and Why
Advantages of Group Problem Solving
When to Use Groups for Problem Solving
Setting the Stage for Problem Solving
Maintain Positive Relationships
Recognize Stages of Team Development
Group Problem-Solving Strategies and Formats
Group Discussion Formats
Solving Problems in Virtual Groups
Approaches and Stages in ProblemSolving
A Structured Problem-Solving Approach
Decision-Making Methods
Overcoming Dangers in Group Discussion
Information Underload and Overload
Unequal Participation
Pressure to Conform
Features
Understanding Diversity Maximizing the Effectiveness of Multicultural Teams
Checklist Is This a Good Opportunity for Teamwork?
Self-Assessment How Effective Is Your Team?
Checklist Dealing with Difficult Team Members
Work The Power of Constructive Dialogue
Understanding Communication Technology Developing Trust Long Distance
Checklist Coping with Information Overload
Ethical Challenge Overly Talkative and Quiet Group Members
Checklist Avoiding Groupthink
Part Five: Public Communication
Chapter 11: Preparing and Presenting Your Speech
Getting Started
Choosing Your Topic
Defining Your Purpose
Writing a Purpose Statement
Stating Your Thesis
Analyzing the Speaking Situation
The Listeners
The Occasion
Gathering Information
Online Research
Library Research
Interviewing
Survey Research
Managing Communication Apprehension
Facilitative and Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Sources of Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Overcoming Debilitative Communication Apprehension
Presenting Your Speech
Choosing an Effective Type of Delivery
Practicing Your Speech
Guidelines for Delivery
Visual Aspects of Delivery
Auditory Aspects of Delivery
Sample Speech
Features
Ethical Challenge Adapting to Speaking Situations
Work Sample Analysis of a Speaking Situation
Checklist Evaluating Websites
Self-Assessment Speech Anxiety Symptoms
Checklist Practicing Your Presentation
Understanding Diversity A Compendium of American Dialects
Chapter 12: Organization and Support
Structuring Your Speech
Your Working Outline
Your Formal Outline
Your Speaking Notes
Principles of Outlining
Standard Symbols
Standard Format
The Rule of Division
The Rule of Parallel Wording
Organizing Your Outline into a Logical Pattern
Time Patterns
Space Patterns
Topic Patterns
Problem-Solution Patterns
Cause-Effect Patterns
Monroe’s Motivated Sequence
Beginnings, Endings, and Transitions
The Introduction
The Conclusion
Transitions
Supporting Material
Functions of Supporting Material
Types of Supporting Material
Styles of Support: Narration and Citation
Sample Speech
Speech Outline
Bibliography
Features
Self-Assessment Main Points and Subpoints
Understanding Diversity Nontraditional Patterns of Organization
Checklist Capturing Audience Attention
Checklist Effective Conclusions
Work Organizing Business Presentations
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Support
Understanding Communication Technology Plagiarism in a Digital Age
Chapter 13: Informative Speaking
Types of Informative Speaking
By Content
By Purpose
Informative Versus Persuasive Topics
An Informative Topic Tends to Be Noncontroversial
The Informative Speaker Does Not Intend to Change Audience Attitudes
Techniques of Informative Speaking
Define a Specific Informative Purpose
Create Information Hunger
Make It Easy to Listen
Use Clear, Simple Language
Use a Clear Organization and Structure
Use Supporting Material Effectively
Emphasize Important Points
Generate Audience Involvement
Using Visual Aids
Types of Visual Aids
Using Presentation Software
Alternative Media for Presenting Graphics
Rules for Using Visual Aids
Sample Speech
Features
Self-Assessment Are You Overloaded with Information?
Understanding Diversity How Culture Affects Information
Checklist Techniques of Informative Speaking
Ethical Challenge The Ethics of Simplicity
Work The Pros and Cons of Presentation Software
Chapter 14: Persuasive Speaking
Characteristics of Persuasion
Persuasion Is Not Coercive
Persuasion Is Usually Incremental
Persuasion Is Interactive
Persuasion Can Be Ethical
Categorizing Types of Persuasion
By Types of Proposition
By Desired Outcome
By Directness of Approach
Creating the Persuasive Message
Set a Clear, Persuasive Purpose
Structure the Message Carefully
Use Solid Evidence
Avoid Fallacies
Adapting to the Audience
Establish Common Ground
Organize According to the Expected Response
Neutralize Potential Hostility
Building Credibility as a Speaker
Competence
Character
Charisma
Sample Speech
Bibliography
Features
Ethical Challenge Analyzing Communication Behaviors
Understanding Diversity Cultural Differences in Persuasion
Ethical Challenge Adapting to a Hostile Audience
Self-Assessment Persuasive Speech
Work Persuasion Skills in the World of Sales
Checklist Ethos, Pathos, and Logos
Notes
Glossary
Credits
Index
