Understanding Behaviour & Family Dynamics

Raising children has always been a difficult task for parents. Infants are born into the world not knowing right from wrong. As parents we are going to experience different methods of discipline to use according to how our child or children development grows so does increased knowledge about parenting styles and the effects of these styles on children and society. There are several different parenting styles and each of these parenting styles can have a different effect on a child’s development. There are many other also factors that affect parenting styles such as culture, family size, personality, parental background, socioeconomic status, educational level, and religion (Turner, 2012). In the home environment many families use two forms of parenting styles for discipling. Both forms can differ and then can be blended together to create compromise and a style that is best fits your child’s unique temperament and personality. There are no specific parenting styles that works best in every situation. Authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are two of the parenting styles that this paper will compare.

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An authoritarian parenting style can sometimes be demanding and even seen bitter and unwilling. Parents who use authoritative parenting styles can often use phrases such as “Do it my way or no way” or “because I said so that’s why”. The authoritarian parenting style is more likely to raise children that do not comply to rules and have no respect for authority figures. Parents who use the authoritarian parenting style often have children who do not see their parents as original authority figures, this differs from that of authoritative parents who listen to their children and gain their respect and trust, according to new research from the University of New Hampshire (tvoparents, 2012).” There is a difference between authoritarian and being authoritative. Like authoritarian parenting style, authoritative parenting can also be very strict with stern, unbending guidelines, but the difference is authoritative parents spend time interacting with their children and listen to their concerns while also making sure their emotional needs are met. Authoritative parents are more likely to engage in conversations with their children and explain the reason, encourage independence and have set certain boundaries for them. Children of authoritative show more positive character traits such as self-reliance, self-control, and contentment. Authoritative parents often generate an environment in which emotions are shared and supported and they react quickly to their child’s needs. At the same time, they demand a lot of their children and set high expectations for mature behaviour while giving children firm, clear rules, standards, and boundaries (Turner, 2012). Parents with authoritative parenting styles motivates their child to communicate with the, relationships between parents and children are filled with affection. Parents give clear and concise directions with an expectation for them to be followed, however they often explain the reasons behind then need for the direction, and it is often with the child’s best interest at heart.

 In contrast to authoritarian parenting techniques you also have the permissive parenting style. Permissive parents are non-demanding and non-controlling. They tend to be warm and receptive to their children’s needs but place few boundaries on their children. If they do establish rules, they rarely enforce them to any great degree. These parents tend to produce children who are the least self-reliant, explorative, and self-controlled out of all the parenting styles (tvoparents, 2012). Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Parents who exhibit this style make moderately few demands upon their children, because these parents have low anticipations for self-control and maturity, they rarely discipline their children.

 Parenting styles can not only affect a child’s daily life and development but also can influence how well that child preforms academically and socially with in the learning environment. The specific developmental stage that this paper will examine is elementary and middle school years age 6 to 12. Eric Erickson coined this stage as the industry vs. inferiority stage (Erickson, 1959). School is very important to both children and parents at this stage of development. This is the age where children are learning to make things, discovering their strengths and weakness, learning to use tools, and acquiring many skills needed to one day enter the workforce and be a potential provider. At this age adolescents are also trying to make the transition from the world of home into the world of peers. If children can discover things, they are good at and get enjoyment from academics and from being productive while seeking accomplishment, they will develop a sense of competency and self-esteem (Erickson, 1959). Because permissive parenting often can involve a lack of guidelines and clear expectations, children raised by parents who are permissive tend to grow up without a strong sense of self-discipline; they often do not feel the need for boundaries. Children who are raised in a permissive environment may be more unruly in school due to the lack of boundaries in the home and may be less academically motivated than many of their peers (Baumrind, 1991). On the other hand, when children grow up with authoritative parents, they learn basic skills of discussion and conversation, allowing them to listen, converse and share thoughts well. Children often learn significant skills of cooperation; this equips children to give and take respectfully with other people, when arriving at a compromise. It’s common for these children to develop stronger social skills and display more emotional control and maturity; this allows them to function well in a structured environment such as a classroom.

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 In addition to having an impact on academic success, modifications in parenting can create a positive family environment. Families influence their children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Parents who offer abundant warmth and nurturance while creating rules help children become socially accountable and self-regulated and create a positive family environment. When raising children discipline is very important, but so is the style of discipline that one chose to use. The goals of discipline are for children to eventually be able to self-monitor their behaviour and make good decisions even when a parents or authority figure is not requiring them to do so. It is only natural for children to want to test the limits you create for them, but they need those limits to become a productive member of society and a respectful adult. Creating a balance is the key to creating a healthy and happy home environment for the whole family. According to the researchers, nurturing and constructing parental validity is one method for parents to exercise control over their children’s behaviour. Furthermore, parents are more likely to be viewed as genuine authorities if they apply authoritative parenting practices rather than authoritarian or permissive practices, which tend to challenge parental authority (tvoparents, 2012).

References

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.

Erikson, E. H., Paul, I. H., Heider, F., & Gardner, R. W. (1959). Psychological issues (Vol. 1). International Universities Press.

Turner, P. & Welch, K. (2012). Parenting in contemporary society (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.

tvoparents. (2012, February 10). What’s your parenting style? [Video file]. Retrieved fromhttp://tvoparents.tvo.org/blog/tvoparents-blog/whats-your-parenting-style