Christian Chicano AIDS readings

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– Discussion Board 7 on Christian Chicano AIDS readings. Quote from the City of God by Gil Cuadros about the spiritual meaning of living with AIDS. 

– Explain the meaning of the quote in a few sentences (small paragraph). 

– Then reply in a couple of sentences to the posts of two of your peers.

Book link:

 https://latinomasculinities.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/city-of-god-part-1  

Peers comments attached 

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Mario Oliver

physical and spiritual experiences as one, they are both experienced out a something that

could have been good (being with men, or experiencing angels) but the tragic reality dying

from AIDS really is.

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Discussion 7
Courtney Harrison posted Mar 11, 2020 6:49 PM

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Jacquelyn Rodriguez

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“My mother begged me to find a girl soon, not to be shy, said it was natural for me to like

girls”(p.7).

This quote directly shows the traditional viewpoints of sexuality within religion. From the

reading we can gather that the author wanted to represent this view as a heterosexual

relationship was pushed upon the narrator by his mother. But we are able to understand

that the narrator finds living with AIDS to not affect his spirituality. We see this

acceptance he has with death as he is battling AIDS but the idea of death does not

frighten him and he more-so accepts AIDS as part of his identity.

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City of God
Jacquelyn Rodriguez posted Mar 11, 2020 8:36 PM Subscribe

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“All the while my mother tells her friends and relatives after the funeral that I have

inoperable cancer. It makes it easier for her, she says” (33).

The meaning of the quote is that his own mother had to create this fantasy of him having

cancer rather thank acknowledging the AIDS. That he had to live with others that believed

he was not taking care of himself and wanted to die. As punishment for his sexuality and

having AIDS and having no support from family. His family offered no support and trying

to talk to Jesus to find help with his problems.

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DB 7
Lauren Dickson posted Mar 11, 2020 6:21 PM

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“Through the window, a man watches: he is white, bright as if a hundred candles were

burning inside him. He sees that I am ready, calls more of his people to the window. At

first I pretend not to know what he offers, can taste meat in my mouth, blood on my lips.”

(98)

The author is quickly approaching the end of his life but the sight of the man, who I

assume to be God, reminds him that he is alive in that moment. He knows that his body

probably does not have much time left as complication of AIDS arise and he knows that he

can be in a better state with God, but again he is reminded of his life on earth: his mother,

brother, roommate and ex-lover. These people mean so much to him and it is surely hard

to let all of them go without saying goodbye.

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Discussion 7
Mario Oliver posted Mar 11, 2020 8:23 PM

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“She questions me about what my doctor has said, ignores my response when I say, I’m

just lonely…….”He might as well have shot you.” (pg.54)

In this quote the author describes one of the interactions he had with his mom. It shows us

how his mom told him that he was basically just a dead man walking. She can’t seem to

face him because she’s ashamed of him for what happened. It also shows us that living

with this condition, he did not even have his mom’s support. Instead of trying to be there

for him when he said he was lonely she ignored him because being around him made her

think of how he contracted the virus. This is very sad because in his worst moment he

could not even count on his family for emotional support.

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Discussion 7
Ashley Campos posted Mar 11, 2020 9:41 AM Subscribe

“They worried about my ARC diagnosis, but they would never ask about it. They wondered

when was I going to look like those men they had seen on the news, men who were dying

of AIDS. They wanted to know when I was going to be sorry for the things that I did to get

this.”

This quote symbolizes a lot of emotion and devastation when the author talks about how

his family is completely hurt by his choices of being gay. Later in the chapter he writes how

his dad would punch the drywall that separates his room from the authors. He also feels

ashamed when he is about to have sex with someone he calls himself. “Infectious material”.

Once they were doing oral sex he can tell that it was wrong but at the same time all he

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Dickson

was thinking about it is how he will die one day. This is sad because he did not feel

comfortable in his own body, let alone he wants to die.

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City of God Discussion Board
Alayza Roberson posted Mar 11, 2020 4:20 PM

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Last post 2 hours ago by

Courtney Harrison

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“It used to make me sick, the thought of my family, but now I see it as a legacy that I will

not understand until much later,” (98).

When someone is struck with a terminal illness, the relationship with family oftentimes

changes drastically. Even after all of the abuse and grief that family can put you through,

the family becomes more of virtue towards the very end. It’s almost as if some things are

so terrible that only death can reconcile these issues.

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DB 7
Mariel Pineda posted Mar 10, 2020 8:17 PM Subscribe

“I saw him do these things, in my mind, things that are considered unsafe, almost sinful

now. I couldn’t help but feel cheated, I had done none of these things. I didn’t deserve this

di ” Thi h h h t i id Th di t ll ki hi
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Ly

Discussion 7
Gianina Catihanan posted Mar 8, 2020 6:00 PM

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“It has become ritual to lie on the cold tile, stare at the mold patched ceiling, skip another

set of pills, what some people call hope.” (Cuadros 56)

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Discussion 7
Iris Rieger posted Mar 11, 2020 3:24 PM

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Roberson

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“I saw him do these things, in my mind, things that are considered unsafe, almost sinful

now… I had done none of these things. I didn’t deserve this disease.” This quote

d t t h th th i d AIDS i h t f i i Alth h h
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Discussion Board 7
Ivana Ly posted Mar 11, 2020 3:02 PM

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Last post 5 hours ago by Iris

Rieger

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“I smile briefly, by now I am used to people not recognizing me because of weight loss, the

waste of my muscles, but this is different.” (97).

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Discussion 7
Bailee Wilkerson posted Mar 10, 2020 7:38 PM Subscribe

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Daniela Castillejo Hernandez

“‘I’m positive.’ I felt like a child confessing his sins, kneeling in a dark room.”

The narrator in this story is relating their experience of being HIV positive to being a child

confessing their sins, kneeling in a dark room. This is significant because they reveal how

vulnerable and difficult it is to admit something that can lead to disappointment or disgust.

Typically when children think of confessing to God, it is a plea for forgiveness because they

do not realize that God immediately forgives. Unlike people, God does not hate, resent, or

look at anyone in disgust. However, since God is of higher power than parents or other

figures, it is common for children to believe God will change their perception on them

forever and not forgive. The narrator also feels this way with the person they are talking

to, Nick. The narrator confesses to Nick that he is HIV positive and thus surfaces feelings

of being like a child confessing their sins, fear of the reaction.

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Discussion Board 7
Julian Gibb posted Mar 11, 2020 2:03 AM Subscribe

“Seth was a jealous god, and the brother of Osiris. He had already tricked Osiris into a

jeweled coffin, floated him off in the Nile…”

“Osiris became the god of the dead.”

“All the dead become Osiris.” (pages 146-147)

The author is likening his own battle with AIDS to Egyptian mythology. Seth represents

AIDS, and Osiris the author and victim. Earlier the poem, the author expresses that he he’s

on the verge of death. Like Osiris, he’s already been sealed in a jeweled coffin. The jewels

signify the deception of thinking he was going to live a long, safe, and healthy life. He’s

already inside the coffin because he knows he is going to die. Floating down the Nile is a

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fate set in motion before an actual death. The author chose to tie his own story in with this

mythology because of the significance of the Egyptian theater, where he had his first gay

sex encounter. Likening himself to the theater, it’s destruction, damage after an

earthquake, and the talks or saving it that don’t go anywhere, is a way for him to mirror

what his own body and mind have gone through in living with AIDS. He has been

damaged, destroyed, and won’t be saved. He is finding a small bit of solace in relating to

what happened to Osiris after his death.

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Discussion 7
Kenneth Roxas posted Mar 9, 2020 3:42 PM

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“‘Like I’m infectious material.’ He winced at this remark. I saw myself being transported in

an orange-red garbage bag, getting tossed out by sallow-colored gloves,” (Cuadros, 66).

The narrator in this quote feels defiled, filthy, or in this case “infectious material” due to his

AIDS. This quote shows the dark or conflicting thoughts that some people living with AIDS

have. In fact before this quote, the narrator somewhat felt like it was unfair for him to have

AIDS while the man he is with who he describes as a “seedy person” the does things that

he thinks of as unsafe or “almost sinful” does not have it. It like the narrator sees that AIDS

as punishment.

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DB 7
Madison Logan posted Mar 10, 2020 4:18 PM

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Porizek

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“Before I go, I want to tell my roommate what he needs to take to stay alive, the astragalus

I have in my closet, this new experimental treatment out of Korea. I want to call my ex-

lover and explain that I really understand why he had to leave me, his heart battered like

bronze from all the other deaths in his life. I want my mother to know I know where all her

anger comes from, and I could just touch a certain spot on her body, near her breastbone,

it would all be released, she would always be warm after that. But I have come to an end,

thoughts of the world seem woven of thread, thinly disguised, a veil.”

In this quote, I feel that he was talking about how he still had things to finish in life and

maybe had regrets about what he hadn’t done. I think that the author realized that as he

got down to his last days that everything from his life “is what it is” and that all of his

thoughts of the world had been disguised by a veil. Maybe meaning that he saw the world

how he wanted to see and didn’t look beyond what he knew.

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Discussion 7
Rey Porizek posted Mar 9, 2020 2:02 AM Subscribe

“The doctor wants me to understand, says without this medication there is no hope;

without this medication you are sure to lose all the sight that you have; the small

discomfort you’ll experience will be worth it compared to the alternative; what is one more

drug to you?” (Cuadros 96)

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Last post Mon at 9:21 PM by

Gianina Catihanan

In this quote, the narrator has gotten to the point in his life where the only source of

“hope” of keeping him alive any further is by adding another set of medications to take

onto his list. He politely declines, even though he is aware that the doctor is telling him the

truth. But by this point, it is clear that the narrator is beginning to lose hope altogether of

ever fully recovering from his AIDS. It is at this moment where he not only starts to

portray the idea that he can see other people’s auras, but peacefully accepts death with

open arms, welcoming the angels to his body.

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