For this assignment, you will need to submit:

• The first draft of your research paper, complete with properly-formatted parenthetical citations from at least four credible sources within the text. 
• The Works Cited page, which should be located at the end of your essay. The Works Cited page should be clearly labeled and follow MLA formatting requirements. 

You will need a good, comprehensive thesis statement that states your claim (what will you prove? Keep in mind that the purpose of this assignment is to support a claim, which means you must do more than merely inform the reader. You must take a stance on your topic and make/support claims that go beyond mere facts) and at least three supporting details (how will you prove your point?).

You might use this as a guideline in crafting your thesis:
(Reason 1), (reason 2), and (reason 3) prove that (add your claim).

Example:
(1. Children who play violent video games exert more aggression than their counterparts who are not exposed to these games) because (2. children often imitate their experiences as a natural learning process) and (3. the violence they see in video games desensitizes them to violence in the real world); however, (your claim: increasing the ages allowed to play certain violent games may prove to decrease childhood aggression).

The guidelines and requirements for this assignment are as follows:

Remember to apply the concepts you’re learning in the course, including elements of grammar, punctuation, thesis development, and other skills. 

Length: This assignment should be a minimum of 800 words. However, you should aim for a minimum of 1,250 words. All length guidelines are excluding the Works Cited page.

Header: Include a header in the upper left-hand corner of your writing assignment with the following information:

• Your first and last name
• Course Title (Composition I)
• Assignment name (Research Paper)
• Current Date

Format:

At least four credible sources used and documented in MLA style

Double-spacing throughout

Standard font (Arial, Times New Roman, Calibri)

Title, centered after heading

1” margins on all sides

Save the file using one of the following extensions: x, , .rtf, or .txt

Underline your thesis statement in the introductory paragraph.

date: 26-Feb-2021 01:51PM (UTC-0500)
Submission ID: 1519022614
File name:
Word count: 1011
Character count: 5247

15%
SIMILARITY INDEX

13%
INTERNET SOURCES

4%
PUBLICATIONS

15%
STUDENT PAPERS

1 4%
2 3%
3 3%
4 3%
5 1%
6 1%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography Off

Exclude matches Off

Research paper
ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to American Public University System
Student Paper

Submitted to Pima Community College
Student Paper

Submitted to Pattonville School District
Student Paper

Submitted to Utah Education Network
Student Paper

Submitted to University of Newcastle
Student Paper

halshs.archives-ouvertes.fr
Internet Source

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FINAL GRADE

13/20
Research paper
GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi

You have a strong start in this working draft. You
understand MLA citation well, so not only have you set
up a strong Works Cited, but also you have chosen
some strong and credible resources. You also do well
with MLA in-text citations.

As your revise, begin with setting up a strong and
focused thesis. It should be a debatable claim, one that
has a clear stance with supporting points. It should be
something with opposing points of view.

Once you revise your thesis, you can set up stronger
topic sentences: your points. This will help with
organizing your paragraphs more. It will also help to
bring in some specific examples in each paragraph.

LS

PAGE 1

Nice work here | Format

Additional Comment

You have set up your left hand MLA header correctly.

Greeting

Additional Comment
Hi

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You have chosen a topic you’re interested in for this assignment, so you’re off to a great start. I look
forward to reading this to see what your thesis is and how you support with analysis, examples, and
evidence.

Comment 1 | Format

Your title reflects your main idea well. No need to bold for MLA format.

Introduction tips | Coherence

· An effective introduction starts with an introductory sentence about the subject, offers
the writer’s main point, and reveals the organization of the essay.

Does the introduction “grab” you as a reader or “hook” your interest?
Does it lead naturally to the main point of the essay?
Is there a thesis that reveals the purpose of the essay? [Usually, the thesis appears at the end of an
introduction, but sometimes it appears later in the paper or it may be implied rather than explicit; we
should be sensitive to well-written essays that diverge from the norm.]

What is the purpose? To explain something? To argue an intellectual position? To argue for a
proposal? To tell a story? Other?

Additional Comment

What intriguing hook could you offer to interest your readers? Using your resources, what stories,
statistics, or insights could you bring in?

Research Essay Thesis | Thesis

Remember the thesis statement must have an arguable claim, and ideally, you will include all
evidential points (if you have more than approximately five subtopics, considering using umbrella
terms to avoid a thesis statement that is too wordy).

An argument-based research paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific
evidence. The claim is your stance or side on the issue. The goal of the argumentative paper is to
convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided. This paper can also
include a counter-argument/refutation section to strengthen supporting discussions. An example of
an argumentative thesis statement is as follows: “High school graduates should be required to take a
year off to pursue community service projects before entering college in order to improve their
maturity, global awareness, and social and emotional development; despite some professors’ fear of
potential loss of academic momentum, a gap year, in fact, can help a student determine a course of
study, helping to reduce unnecessary courses

Additional Comment

Instead of announcing what the topic is, how can you offer a strong stance along with three main
points?

Comment 2 | Coherence

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Once you revise your thesis, how could you strengthen this point?

Comment 3 | Support & Dev

What specific examples can you offer?

C/S | Punctuation
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot have
more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that occurs
when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly by a
comma. There are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the comma with a
stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a coordinating conjunction
(“and,” “but,” “or,” “nor”) to join the two constructions, or 3) make one of the two sentences a
dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating conjunction (“if,” “when,” “so
that,” “although,” “because”) or relative pronoun (“that,” “which,” “who,” “whom,” “whose”).

Comment 4 | Research/MLA

Nice work with your citation. Just take out the comma.

Awk. | Language
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

Missing “,” | Punctuation
Missing comma:
Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is
logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader
to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like
“because,” “while” or “although,” as in the following example: “While everyone was fighting, the bear
wandered away.” As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

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Citation Needed | Research/MLA
Cite Source:
Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles:
http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html

Capitalization of words | Punctuation

If you have a question about whether a specific word should be capitalized that doesn’t fit under one
of these rules, try checking a dictionary to see if the word is capitalized there. Here is a link to offer
more help:

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https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general writing/mechanics/help with capitals.html

Comment 5 | Research/MLA

No need for a comma.

Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each of the following: Unity,
Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment

Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that defends your thesis. Within each
paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.

Comment 6 | Coherence

This is a good point.

Comment 7 | Support & Dev

What specific examples can you offer for support?

Comment 8 | Research/MLA

Nice work with your citation. Just take out the comma.

Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader

what you mean, not just tell him or her.

Comment 9 | Support & Dev

This is a good start to an example, but isn’t specific yet. What specific examples can you offer?

Awk. | Language
Awkward:
The expression or construction is cumbersome or difficult to read. Consider rewriting.

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Comment 10 | Support & Dev

This is interesting information here. What examples can you bring in to show your readers?

Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each of the following: Unity,
Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment
Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that defends your thesis. Within each
paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.

Comment 11 | Support & Dev

How can you follow up with your own voice of analysis to further clarify this information for your
readers?

Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader
what you mean, not just tell him or her.

Comment 12 | Coherence

How could you find a stronger point?

Comment 13 | Support & Dev

What examples can you offer?

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Vague | Language
Unclear:
When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common mistakes is to not
offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague and sketchy. A paper is
always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible, The more detailed evidence you
offer, the more reference points your reader will have. Remember that you are communicating your
argument to a reader who has only your description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will
not automatically know what you mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader

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what you mean, not just tell him or her.

Tense Shift | Grammar
Tense Shift:
Verb tenses should be consistent throughout your writing in order to make it clear when an action
takes place. You will confuse your readers by switching from one tense to another within the same
sentence or paragraph. When discussing literature or a published source document of some kind,
readers expect you to use the present tense, even though the source you’re writing about may have
been written many years ago. When writing an essay about historical events, however, readers
generally expect that you use the past tense.Tense Shift

Comment 14 | Research/MLA

You do well with your citation. Just take out the comma.

Comment 15 | Support & Dev

Do you have a counterargument and rebuttal to offer as well?

Paragraph Development | Support & Dev
To be as effective as possible, a paragraph should contain each of the following: Unity,
Coherence, A Topic Sentence, and Adequate Development. As you will see, all of these
traits overlap. Using and adapting them to your individual purposes will help you construct effective
paragraphs.
Additional Comment
Begin each paragraph with a strong and focused point, one that defends your thesis. Within each
paragraph, focus on how to support that point with specific examples. Also, offer at least a couple
pieces of evidence from your resources and follow up by clarifying that information in your own voice
of analysis.

Article usage | Language

Missing an article here. English has two articles: the and a/an. The is used to refer to specific or
particular nouns; a/an is used to modify non-specific or non-particular nouns. We
call the the definite article and a/an the

Here’s a helpful resource:

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general writing/grammar/using articles.html

|| | Grammar
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel form. All expressions that are similar in content and
function should be expressed similarly.
Additional Comment

How can you set up your verbs in this sentence to be parallel in structure? Here’s a helpful resource:

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https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/mechanics/parallel_structure.html

Conclusions | Coherence

The following outline may help you conclude your paper:

In a general way,

Restate your topic and why it is important,
Restate your thesis/claim,
Address opposing viewpoints and explain why readers should align with your
position,
Call for action or overview future research possibilities.

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/common_writing_assignments/argument_papers/conclusio

Additional Comment

Once you revise your thesis and points, you can strengthen your conclusion as well.

PAGE 4

Comment 16 | Research/MLA

You have the required number of resources needed for this assignment. You have also thoughtfully
alphabetized that final list.

Comment 17 | Research/MLA

Double check this information.

RUBRIC: ENG101 V6:RESEARCH DRAFT

THESIS (20%)

POINTS

(0)

POINTS
(2)

POINTS
(3)

POINTS

(3.50)

POINTS
(4)

POINTS
(5)

SUPPORT & DEV (20%)

POINTS
(0)

POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS

3.2

5 / 5

2 / 5

Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions

Thesis or potential thesis is neither present in any portion of the essay, nor is it implied in
any manner. Thesis may be present but incorrect for the assignment’s
objectives/approach. Thesis may be present but the submission overall fails to meet most
assignment objectives (such as the essay is only a paragraph) that determining the thesis’
viability is problematic.

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. Readers
cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently addressed. Reveals limited
awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking or inconsistently
addressed.

Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or otherwise problematic.
Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too
general and supported by irrelevant examples.

Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout most of the paper.
Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central idea is clear and maintained in most of the
essay.

Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the entire paper. Paper
demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea/focus
maintained throughout.

3 / 5

Thesis support, thesis development, use of examples, logic, and reason

Support is more than lacking, such that it is insufficient for review (assignment does not
meet length requirements). Body paragraphs may be very limited in original material for
evaluation due to too much borrowed information and a problematic similarity report which
qualifies the paper for an account hold and “similarity match: low” QuickMark.

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. Readers
cannot discern the essay’s central idea. No support of thesis with relevant facts,
examples, reasons, or evidence. No topic development. Little-to-no argument is present.
Topic development is flawed or non-existent. The body paragraphs have a poor mix of
cited quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.

Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. At least two arguments are
present, but counterargument and refutation may be weak or missing. Topic development
may have been attempted, but does not form conclusions and/or fails to exhibit clear
reasoning. The body paragraphs have an insufficient mix of cited quotes, paraphrases,
and summaries.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. More development needed for

(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

COHERENCE (15%)

POINTS
(0)
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)

POINTS
(3.50)

POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

LANGUAGE (10%)

POINTS
(0)

supporting reasons or evidence. Some irrelevant support may be present, but most
evidence supports thesis. The body paragraphs have an adequate mix of cited quotes,
paraphrases, and summaries.

Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way. At least three strong arguments, a
counterargument, and a refutation are present. Examples are sufficient. Thesis is
supported and developed in most paragraphs. The body paragraphs have a sufficient mix
of cited quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.

Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement of evidence. At least three
strong arguments, a counterargument, and a refutation are present. All assertions are
supported and relate to thesis. The body paragraphs have an exceptional mix of cited
quotes, paraphrases, and summaries.

3 / 5

Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic sentences

Two or more major organizational elements are missing, such as an introduction and
conclusion. Essay be one long paragraph with no discernible separation of ideas.

No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no
understanding of organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to each
other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible topic sentences.

Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic. Few transitions. Perhaps
numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little
understanding of organization.

Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one significant weakness is present:
undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate
transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may lack clear topic sentences.
Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.

Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although improvements could be made. Most
paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development.
Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper. Demonstrates good understanding of
organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion: Introduction establishes the
essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely
copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are present
throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of organization.

4 / 5

Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.),
typos/misspellings, vocabulary

May contain more than 8 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness.

May contain more than 8 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience.

Fails to demonstrate clarity in most sentences throughout the paper. The lack of

POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

GRAMMAR (10%)

POINTS
(0)
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

PUNCTUATION (10%)

POINTS
(0)

lucidity makes it difficult for the reader to determine the paper’s focus.

May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness.

May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience.

Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and vocabulary are
inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.

May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness.
May
contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience.
Contains
repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence structure and/or limited vocabulary.

May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness.
May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience.
Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence constructions and
vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.

May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness.
May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience.
Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied sentence construction and
vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.

May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic audience.
Demonstrates
sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and complex sentence construction and
vocabulary. Little-to-no unnecessary repetition.

3.50 / 5

Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement

Contains more than 7 different grammar errors.
The identical 5+ errors may be
repeated throughout.

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors.
The identical 3 – 4
errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be
repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be
repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no
repetition.

3.50 / 5

Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors

Contains more than 7 different punctuation/capitalization errors.
The identical 5+
errors may be repeated throughout.

POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

FORMAT (5%)

POINTS
(0)
POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

RESEARCH/MLA (10%)

POINTS
(0)
Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors.
The identical 3 – 4
errors may be repeated throughout.
Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be
repeated throughout.
Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.
Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no
repetition.
4 / 5

heading, title, margins, spacing, length*, underlined thesis *Length for the research paper is 800 words minimum

Format or word minimum is completely lacking. Formatting may be missing five or more
elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, and/or
thesis not underlined). Essay is severely underdeveloped, such that it includes only a
paragraph or two.

Doesn’t meet formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing four or more elements
(either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not
underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing three elements
(either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not
underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Meets some formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing two elements (either no
title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined).
Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does not meet length
minimum will score no higher than 3 in this category)

Meets most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing one element (either no
title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined).
Length meets minimum requirements of 750 words.

Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins,
spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum requirements of 750 words.

5 / 5

Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of signal phrases), use of research to argue topic,
MLA in-text quote formatting, Works Cited list This paper requires at least four sources.

Sources are neither present on the Works Cited page nor employed in the paper. No
attempt or implied intention to use sources. At least seven different errors in documenting
sources. Similarity report may present potential plagiarism concerns, so much so that

POINTS
(2)
POINTS
(3)
POINTS
(3.50)
POINTS
(4)
POINTS
(5)

grading the paper is acceptable but the paper must be placed on an account hold due to
qualifying for the “similarity match: low” QuickMark.

Source minimum requirements are not met. Research is insufficient, irrelevant, or
inadequate. Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very poorly. Five or more
errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. Works Cited page either
omitted or formatted very poorly. It may be difficult or impossible to discern which sources
are in the list.

Source minimum requirements may not be met (Note: If source minimum is not met, the
essay will score no higher than 2 in this category). Research is superficial and/or sources
are incorporated poorly. No more than four different errors in documenting sources using
MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page
may contain significant formatting errors, and some sources may be omitted from the list.

Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met. Research may be
superficial, sources may be poorly incorporated. No more than three different errors in
documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be
repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, but all sources are
listed.

Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met. Fairly thorough research
with mostly effective use of sources. No more than two different errors in documenting
sources using MLA style. These identical two errors may be repeated. Works Cited page
may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.

Source minimum requirements (four credible sources) are met. Thoroughly researches
the topic, uses sources effectively. No more than one different error in documenting
sources using MLA style. This identical error may be repeated. Works Cited page may
contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.