The authors of our textbook argue that the skill of cognitive complexity contributes to satisfying relationships (p.24). They further explain the connection of high cognitive complexity to the development of empathy (p. 126). In our chapter on perception and they suggest that using a Japanese tool like the ‘pillow method’ can help us develop empathy for another person by hearing their perspectives on an issue from five different angles. 

Look in your textbook on the page that is titled ‘skill builder’ (page 135). As this skill builder suggests you can have the person you would like to work with there with your OR you can try to do this alone. Keep in mind that by doing it alone you will probably not do as good of a job since the goal is to work to develop an understanding of their perspective. This way you and your partner can check each other as you go through this. There is an example of a completed Pillow Method activity “in action” on pages 134 of our textbook.  You can look at this to understand how this works!

This is a fantastic way to begin to see that we can understand things differently and we can learn these different perspectives by listening to each other and requesting the other person to share their perspective.

Do the activity with a partner and submit your reflection/response to the questions on the Skill builder with your copy of the filled out form. Answer the questions first and then fill out the form using the responses that you have created. Be sure to provide your response to question five as a brief summary paragraph at the top or after you fill out the form. 

CMST&210Pillow talk

Position 1
Why do you think you may be right?

Why do you think they may be wrong?

I’m right because:

You are wrong because:

Position 2
Why do you think they may be right?

Why do you think you may be wrong?

I’m wrong because:

You are right because:

Position 3
What are you BOTH right about?
What are you BOTH wrong about? Acknowledge
the strengths and weaknesses of EACH
perspective.

I’m right because:

I’m also wrong because:

You are right because:

You are also wrong because:

Position 4:
Why do you think the issue you are discussing is
NOT as important as it seems? What are your
true needs?

For me?

For you?

Position 5: There is truth in ALL FOUR
perspectives. You may not change your mind and
try to look and SEE the truth in each perspective.

For my perspective these things are true.

For your perspective these things are true.