all instructions in the attachment.

This is my idea that I would like to prove and do research

During COVID-19 time that people have to work from home and stay home all day, I started to play online game and watched some steamer( playing game on the live steam) in the Twitch, I have seen a lot of people become a steamer and I have seen that the business in eSport and steamer had grown a lot, However, esports has also played a vital role in helping the social life during Covid (The pandemic brought about lockdown), leaving several people consolidated in one area. Most activities stagnated, leaving several people idle. However, eSport grants an opportunity to keep the people engaged in doing something constructive. Additionally, it has been a source of income for several people, but some people or parent still haven’t accepted that Playing game could make a real job for their children, the children gain valuable skills when they play Esports from time to time. The sport teaches several essential skills and lessons not achieved in the classroom. These skills include enhanced teamwork, social skills such as using appropriate body language, strategic thinking and planning, time management, success and failure, and pro-social values such as persistence and respect. I am really interested in eSport and a steamer, I would like to learn how eSport could help children and give them online communities, and how could kids make a living when they are eSport Player? Alternative topic would be what are they going to do after they retried from eSport, how could they make a living after they retired? Or how steamers are so popular nowadays? Does it make a lot of money?

Outline for research paper

1) Abstract 1page

2) Introduction should be about 2 pages

a) The hook and Introduce what is game and what is eSport?

b) Give a history about game and eSport and how parent used to think about game to their kids.

c) Thesis statement.

3) Body

a) First body should talk about how games help kids and benefit for kids. Provide some evidence that games actually help kids.

b) Opponent point of view, like how parent think games is bad (you can used other ideas if you have better ideas)

c) Talk how eSport has grown nowadays and during the Covid, and how playing games has helped a lot during the pandemic time like mental health and entertain people and create so many jobs(like become steamer, or graphic designer or editor )

d) Talk about like how online community is bad and how become steamer is bad (like for a toxic in Chet on their steam)

e) How online communities are good for kids, like got connection become a good professional player, connection become an influencer (give an example of Shroud, an ex pro plyer and influencer like pokimane) (You can search and find an article about them in google) used their story as an example.

f) the children gain valuable skills when they play Esports from time to time. The sport teaches several essential skills and lessons not achieved in the classroom. These skills include enhanced teamwork, social skills such as using appropriate body language, strategic thinking and planning, time management, success and failure, and pro-social values such as persistence and respect.

g) how kids will be able to make a living by play games such as (play for an organization, play competitive level, become steamer, content creator) explain how cloud their make money by twitch, and marketing the product or got sponsor from the product brand.

h) If you have ideas, you cloud add it.

4) Conclusion

a) Restate the thesis

b) Conclude the body (like what we are trying the prove)

c) Give some thought and advise.

Here are some References:

INGRAM, J. A. (2019). Kicking It New School: Applying the Fifa Regulatory Model to the Esports Industry. George Washington International Law Review, 51(3), 483–523.

Brannon, J. (2018). Are You Not Entertained? Considering the P-3 Visa as an Alternative Option for International Esports Professional Gamers. Arizona Law Review, 60(3), 753–781.

Hollist, K. E. (2015). Time to Be Grown-Ups about Video Gaming: The Rising Esports Industry and the Need for Regulation. Arizona Law Review, 57(3), 823–847.

Rothwell, G., & Shaffer, M. (2019). eSports in K-12 and Post-Secondary Schools. Education Sciences, 9(2), 105.

https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci9020105

Shen, J. (2020, April 8). Entertainment during COVID-19: How esports is filling a void. UWIRE Text,

https://go.gale.com/ps/i.do?p=EAIM&u=lirn13050&id=GALE%7CA619801209&v=2.1&it=r&sid=ebsco

Vasilcovschi, A. (2015). Risks and Benefits to Consumers of Innovating IT Products. Social Online Gaming Applications. International Journal of Economic Practices & Theories, 5(3), 302–309.

1

Development of games in children

Does playing online games help or harm young people development or career prospects ?

Abstract Comment by Grace L: Hi, I’m Grace, your writing tutor for this paper!
I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that will help you revise. Feel free to first read the other comments first to put these suggestions in context. ?
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
HOCS
1. Explaining ideas: There are some good ideas in the paper. You develop your points well using cited evidence from the source. However, there are some instances where the explanation could be fuller to make the connection clear between the evidence and your analyses. Some paragraphs also seem a bit short, and this could be an indication that there are underdeveloped ideas.
2. Transitions: There is a good overall structure for the essay, and I see some room for improvement regarding transitions. Sometimes the sentences don’t connect as well to each other, and the reader might have a hard time understanding how you went from one point to the other. Having clear transitions between sentences will guide the reader along each paragraph and ensure they have taken away the main ideas of the paragraph.
3. Quoting: Try not to end the paragraph with a quote but use a concluding sentence instead!
LOCs
4. Mechanics: There is room for improvement regarding the usage of punctuation. I see some instances where the comma is misplaced, which can be confusing to the reader and mislead them.
5. There were also some places where the phrasing can be improved to make the sentences flow more smoothly.
Overall, I recommend closer proofreading of the essay, and after revision, the paper will have much stronger readability!

There have been drastic changes in society over the years with the evolvement of technology. People have adapted to technology changes by having certain activities integrated into their lives to improve the quality of life either through interactions or recreation. Among the sectors that have developed with the advancement in technology is the gaming industry. Traditionally, society members, particularly children, used to play simple games that involved physical interactions among themselves. With the development of technology, children can engage in games with other participants across the universe, provided there is an internet connection to connect the players under the gaming platform. Through technology and the advancement in internet technology, there has been the invention of sports done through online platforms, commonly described as eSport. Games play an essential role in society, among which is the utilization of leisure time or idle time, with the emergence of global crises which force people to suspend their daily activities as it has been evident with the emergence of the COVID 19, requiring schools to close and people to stay indoors, games have enabled children to engage in constructive activities. It has also contributed to other aspects such as the child’s growth and development in various ways.

The research paper aims to describe in detail the role of games and eSport in the growth and development and the child’s overall welfare. Also, it seeks to outline the benefits the gaming activities have on the later maturity stages of the child after they have retired from the gaming activities. In attaining the goal, the paper provides a comprehensive introduction on game and eSport by first defining the critical terms in game and eSport and introducing the relationships which are analyzed in the later stages of the paper. A thesis statement is also provided after the introduction section from which the analysis in the research paper is based on. The paper also has the body which explains the various aspects of the game and eSport and the welfare of the children in terms of the benefits derived, the growth and impact of game and eSport during the pandemic and counterarguments that the society has on the role of games in the growth of the society. The body also provides a comprehensive analysis of the impact of online communities developed through online gaming on the child’s life. Among the critical issues outlined in the body is how the gaming activities can be used as a source of income and a source of livelihood other than being a source of recreation for many. In conclusion, the paper restates the thesis statement and main summary points of the argument. (too long for the abstract ) Comment by Grace L: The abstract should ideally be just about your main points without going into the details. It also is its own page.

Game and eSport are two inter-related terms but with distinct definitions from each other. A game is defined as an activity that usually involves knowledge or skills or an opportunity to follow fixed rules to attain a given outcome, which is considered a success in the game. Games have certain key features which are used in distinguishing between them and any form of activity. (need) One of the characteristics is the goal, where the participants of the game share common goals that they desire to attain at the end of the activity. For instance, every participant in the game has the goal of winning against the competitors and getting the reward set for the winner’s position. The second feature of a game that proves its uniqueness is rules or the set guidelines which every participant of the activity must adhere to for the participation to be validated. Violation of the rules results in either termination of the game or disqualification of the member in participating in the active session of the game or the entire process of the game. The third element of a game is the challenge which refers to the task that the participant requires to overcome to qualify for the winner’s position. The fourth element of a game is interactions which refer to the associations between the participants of the game. There have to be associations between the participants of the game as they play. The competition takes place either between participants where they play against each other, between groups of participants, or one participant at a time. With the advancement in technology, there has been the development of video games in which participants play on online platforms. There are various types of games: lawn games, board games, card games, dice games, domino and tile games, and guessing games, among others (INGRAM, 2019, p488). Comment by Grace L: The connection between sentences in this paragraph is a bit weak due to the sentence structure and the lack of transitions. How can you transition better between sentences? Remember to indicate the shift between ideas with transition words that are appropriate to the situation (Addition, Comparison, Contrast, Clarification, Time, Place, Exemplification or illustration, Cause, etc.)

Esports, on the other hand, refers to a form of competition that is done through video games. In most cases, the activities take place between professional players in the form of organized multiplayer video games competition. The professional players participating in a particular eSport may either participate individually or as teams. eSports are conducted with different aims, with some being done to win a certain prestigious status or award, such as a global trophy. Other competitions are conducted to increase the level of awareness, inspire future talents and improve standards. A list of eSports includes fighting games, racing, third-person shooters, and real-time strategies, among others (Hollist, 2015, p 834). Comment by Grace L: This paragraph seems a bit short. How can you either expand on it or combine it with another paragraph that talks about the same topic?

Different types of games can be traced in different periods in history depending on when the first evidence of the game was found. For instance, Board games, which are the oldest of all other games played, had their origin traced back to 5,000 years ago where the Egyptians used the game for leisure. The Chinese followed in inventing the board games in 200B.C. The second game in the list of the oldest games is ‘rolling the dice’, which has been traced back to 3,000 years ago. Rolling the dice existed in the 14th century in England, where people were playing a game with similar concept as the dice called ‘Hazard’. Tiles and Dominoes have their origin traced back to China over 2,900 years ago. Dominoes played in the western countries had its origin in the 18th century (Boyle, 2019). Comment by Grace L: Rather than ending on an example, how can you end this paragraph better? Remember that a concluding sentence that summarizes the points discussed in the paragraph will help the reader have a clear takeaway as they leave the paragraph.

The origin of Esports is traced to the early 70s with the earliest video competition in form of Space war taking place on 19 October 1972 at Stanford University. Stanford’s students participated in the game with a goal of winning the grand prize of a year’s subscription for Rolling Stone. The two classes of winners: individual and teams’ top position were occupied by Bruce Baumgart and Tovar and Robert E. Maas. The video games developed with the addition of tracking systems in which they would track high scores for all players participating in the games. In 1980, the largest competition in terms of participants was held with a participation of 10,000 players. The competition was the Space Invaders Championship which was held by Atari. The growth of online videos continued with the emergence of televised games in 1980s and internet games which developed towards the late 1980s. The growth of internet connectivity and PC games in the 1990s contributed much to the growth of esports. 2010 marked an important point in the growth and development of esports. This is because it markets the genesis of online streaming services which was a game changer to esports. Twitch, an online streaming service that was launched in 2011, contributed into the global development of exports as steams easily followed competition across the world while sitting Infront of a PC screen. From 2010, there has been gradual development and innovations with the first Esports Arena being launched in Santa Ana, California in 2015 (INGRAM, 2019, p490). The role of games and Esports in the growth and development of children, it is helpful to children more than its harm and it also create a job for people and games have been one of the best way people use the relax during a pandemic time. (the current people playing games) (basic fact around the world) (gaming association) Comment by Grace L: Usually it’s October 19th Comment by Grace L: How can you use the active voice to make this sentence stronger?

There are various ways in which games and Esports help kids in their growth and development. One of the ways in which it promoted development is through social development as a result of development of social behaviors. Based on a research study conducted in relation to nature of games, seventy percent of gamers play with participants’ whom they are familiar with, in the same room. With the development in technology allowing participants to play against other individuals across the universe, thirty percent either play alone or with a computer system. This contributes to the use of both communication and interpersonal skills as key components in teamwork in order to progress. Through the involvement in the games, the children develop positive social skills which enable them to acquire high self-esteem and good peer relationships. Such aspects contribute to academic performance and in general life situations as they become aware of self-abilities. Also, games improve critical thinking and reading comprehension of the child as the children become more engaged problem-solving situations within the game. They are various ways in which games can be used in enhancing the critical thinking capacity of the student. One of the ways is through the alternate reality games (ARGs) which refers to an interactive networked narrative which use the real world as a platform and tells a single story across multiple platforms using current digital technology. This enhances the resilience and critical thinking of the participant as the audience in the different platforms has to be kept active by the player. Also, games particularly the video games teach kids new technical skills sets from an early age which develop over the years as they grow up. For instance, Angry Birds as one of the common video games assist children in developing basic coding principles which are helpful in the use of computers to make designs and execute certain key functions and innovations. Video games also assist the children in visual-spatial skills. Based on a research study done on the impact of video games on the intellectual development of a child, video games such as Minecraft which are set in 3 D virtual worlds require the participant to navigate through without the use of a GPS or smartphone. This boosts the ability of a child who participates in the game to practice their visual-spatial skills which help them in developing better understanding of distance and space (Rothwell & Shaffer, 2019, p 105). ( I want you to add the story of this guys in this article)

https://www.espn.com/esports/story/_/id/28921673/a-year-life-bugha-fortnite-world-cup-champ

Comment by Grace L: Do you mean “there are various ways”? Comment by Grace L: p. 105

There are various counterarguments against the development of videogames particularly from parents whose children spent most of their times on the screens playing video games and other forms of video games. One of the main points of argument against the use of video games is addiction. Majority of the parents think that videogames are addictive in nature and that children lose focus on academic affairs for over engagement in video games. This has been contributed by the research studies on dopamine addiction. According to the research studies, when one plays video games, the brain releases a constant dopamine supply with an occasion random burst. As the individual continues playing video games over time, the brain gets used to the steady supply of dopamine and the nucleus accumbent which is also describes as the ‘reward circuit’ starts demanding more dopamine release for gaming to feel good. This results into the participant not enjoying anything that is not more stimulating than the video game. From the interpretation of the research studies, parents exaggerate the effects of the video games such as addiction resulting into majority of them restraining their children from spending much of their time playing video games (Rahimi, S., & Shute, n.d., p 37).  Comment by Grace L: just last names will do

The second counter argument is social disconnection where some people in the society argue that much video game disconnects the participants from the society. According to the critics, video gamers do not interact and connect well in the fellow participants. In most times, video gamers isolate themselves from the rest of the society as they spend most of their time on screens playing with other participants without generally making strong and lasting relationships with the other participants. In other cases, there have been counter research studies to discredit some of the benefits of video games such as building social skills of the children. One of the researches conducted in 2009 in Iran on second-grade students found that individuals who had developed an addiction on video games tended to have lower social skills compared to those students who did not have the addiction. According to the study, the deterioration in skills was caused was contributed by spending much in a room and not having interactions with other people. In addition to the counterarguments against video games is ‘escapism and being stuck in life’ as described by psychologists. According to the psychologists in explaining the impact, video games provide a safe place for people to escape their problems in life particularly on distressing matters. Video games prevent people from finding ways to deal with the issues in their lives. The issues pile up to the point that they cannot be easily resolved while in other cases, the issues result into self-harm. This contributes into some critics proposing that video games are not healthy for the positive growth of the society (Rothwell & Shaffer, 2019, p 105).

ESport has developed significantly during the pandemic with the number of participants increasing drastically over time. This has been contributed by certain factors which have been prevalent with the pandemic. One of the factors is cessation of movements resulted by the establishment of lockdowns by governments and local authorities. As the pandemic hit most of the countries, there was a rise on concern to contain the spread with governments establishing barriers for people to move out of their homes. As a result, people focused on looking for activities that kept them engaged indoors. ESport being based on electronic transmission and internet provided a key solution to the need by offering a platform in which people would pass their leisure time. As a result, the use of video games and eSport increased across the universe. Also, the advancement in internet technology marked by the introduction of 5G internet contributed much to the growth of online games and eSport (Rothwell & Shaffer, 2019, p 105). Comment by Grace L: maybe not the universe. What’s a more appropriate word choice?

The development of eSport particularly during the pandemic has played an important role in various ways. One of the ways is by promoting their mental health through reduction of anxiety and stress. When the pandemic struck, many people were laid off from their employment as companies downsized and reduced their level of production. To the employees who were laid off, depression and anxiety became a prevalent issue as most of the people did not know ways to survive after the downfall. Cases of deterioration of mental health increased with the majority complaining of depression and other mental health disorders. Social interactions also reduced with the loss in social status and classes. With everyone being in lockdowns, people developed alternative ways to channel their problems and interact amongst themselves. ESport provided the common uniting factor as people participated in online tournaments among themselves. It reduced the amount of anxiety among the people as they participated in the virtual interactions (Shen, 2020). Also, eSport resulted into creation of job opportunities and income to support households during the recession. As the number of participants and steamers increased during the pandemic due to the many people using eSport facilities, more people started monetizing the activity other than viewing eSport as an entertainment opportunity. Gaming companies have continued to expand operations to cater for the increased demand and gain more revenue from the increased consumption. For esports platforms to operate successfully there is a huge team of directors, producers, professional gamers and broadcast engineers who work remotely to enhance the excitement of a live event. When the consumers of the services increased with the pandemic, more team players were required to enhance expansion of the services to additional regions across the world. This led to job creation in the positions outlined to cater for the growing demand. In addition to the positive contribution evident from the esports during the pandemic was increase in revenue for the gaming organizations, the members of staff and the economy despite the economic recession. From the increased revenue due to the rise in consumption, more income was received by the authorities as corporate tax from the gaming companies facilitating esports. This enabled the authorities to fund some of the operations which were declining from the recession brought by the pandemic (Hollist, 2015, p 834). Comment by Grace L: Do you need a comma after this word? Use commas after introductory a) clauses, b) phrases, or c) words that come before the main clause. For example, “While I was eating, the cat scratched at the door.”

Despite the positive contributions from the growth of esports, there have been critics against online communities which have continued to grow over time and the development of steamers. One of the major sources of argument is the lenient moral and ethical value system which governs the online communities. There is minimum moderation in steam on unethical behaviors which results into increased toxicity among players. Steams aim at promoting gaming by encouraging newcomers into the platforms and few restrictions on exits. This promotes the behavior of majority of the participants posting negative reviews on the platforms without the steam putting disciplinary actions against the participant. Also, there has been the rise of negative reviews against steamers with some critics considering steamers to be bad. One of the reasons as to why steamers are considered to be bad by a significant number of the people is that it promoted E-sport gambling addiction among the participants or the often players. With the rise in online tournaments that are associated with prize awaiting the victor and large crowds of viewers, there is the spirit of ‘pro-scene’ with the players focusing on winning as much times as possible and seeking popularity. As a result, the players tend to participate more which result into addiction. Also, steamers have been associated with promotion of the isolation of self in that video games open up a portal towards virtual or physical safe players where the participants immerse themselves into and forget the rest of the world (Vasilcovschi, 2015, p 308).  Comment by Grace L: Again, try to end on a concluding sentence instead of an example.

Online communities can have positive impacts on the child in various positive ways particularly based on their nature of being globally dispersed. One of the ways is that the kid can develop into a good professional player. This has been evident in many scenarios where a participant grows into becoming a renowned player. As a result of the recognition, the child secures various opportunities such as scholarships in big global learning institutions. It also becomes a source of income for the player as he or she gets hired to train other players by non-governmental organizations and gaming companies. In addition to the benefits that kids can gain from the participation in online communities through gaming is an opportunity to become an influencer. This refers to a person who has the ability to influence others to make a certain decision. In most cases, influencers are used to drive consumers into making purchasing decisions of a certain product. Companies and organizations use influencers to market their products to the target market. Successful online game players get opportunities and connections to become influencers of certain products particularly those associated with games or esports. This gives the individual an opportunity to expand new careers, secure opportunities in organizations and inspire others on personal growth and development (Brannon, 2018, p460). Comment by Grace L: The phrasing in this sentence is a bit wordy. How can you rephrase to make it flow more smoothly?
Comment by Grace L: spacing

There are various skills that children learn from their participation in esports, some of the skills cannot be learnt in class. One of the skills is resilience in that esports require the players and participants to hold on to their strategies and commitment until they attain the results or win the game. Time management is another skill gained from participation in the game as the player has to plan the allocate time to ensure that the strategies are applied within the time for attainment of the desired outcome or results. The kids also learn how to deal with success and failure at an early stage as both of the two outcomes are common in esports. This allows them to face such conditions in real life as they are used to managing their emotions based on the outcome of the game.

There are various ways in which kids can make a living from the games and esports by use of platforms such as twitch. Twitch refers to social media a platform that is used in communications among gaming enthusiast and gamers. One of the ways in which people make money through twitch is through live video gaming by specifically monetizing your channel. Successful gamers stream sessions of them playing a video gamer from which followers in the platform subscribe to at a fee. Also, they can use the social media platform in marketing a certain brand or innovation such as a video game from which they can secure a sponsor to facilitate the launch of the video game into the gaming market Brannon, 2018, p467).

The paper has provided a detailed analysis of the role of games and esports in the growth and development of children. This entailed assessing various aspects such as online communities, steamers among others which affect gaming among children. As much as there are concerns on the impact that video games and Esporta have on children, there is a need to allow monitored engagement of children or kids in gaming activities. This would assist in attaining an all-round growth in the society. Comment by Grace L: Good conclusion! It gives something for the reader to reflect upon and recaps your main ideas nicely.

Reference Comment by Grace L: Center the title (also it should be References)

Boyle, R. (2019). The History of Video Games and the Rise of eSports.

Brannon, J. (2018). Are You Not Entertained? Considering the P-3 Visa as an Alternative Option for International Esports Professional Gamers. Arizona Law Review, 60(3), 753–781. Comment by Grace L: Articles should only have the first word and the first word after the colon capitalized. Comment by Grace L: The journal title and volume number should be italicized.

Hollist, K. E. (2015). Time to Be Grown-Ups about Video Gaming: The Rising Esports Industry and the Need for Regulation. Arizona Law Review, 57(3), 823–847.

INGRAM, J. A. (2019). Kicking It New School: Applying the Fifa Regulatory Model to the Esports Industry. George Washington International Law Review, 51(3), 483–523.

Rahimi, S., & Shute, V. J. The effects of video games on creativity: A systematic review. Handbook of lifespan development of creativity, 1-37.

Rothwell, G., & Shaffer, M. (2019). eSports in K-12 and Post-Secondary Schools. Education Sciences, 9(2), 105.

https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci9020105

Shen, J. (2020, April 8). Entertainment during COVID-19: How esports is filling a void. UWIRE Text,

https://go.gale.com/ps/i.do?p=EAIM&u=lirn13050&id=GALE%7CA619801209&v=2.1&it=r&sid=ebsco

Vasilcovschi, A. (2015). Risks and Benefits to Consumers of Innovating IT Products. Social Online Gaming Applications. International Journal of Economic Practices & Theories, 5(3), 302–309.