need it in 4 hooooours

REVISION OF A POORLY-WRITTEN MEMO

Identify the weaknesses and errors in the following memo and rewrite it to conform to good practices.

To: All Big Chief Floor Workers

Date:31 January 2001

From: Mr. Mike Sims, Production Manager

Re: New Procedures

This memo shall open by expressing the author’s exhilaration concerning the tremendous opportunity afforded to him as the new production manager for Big Chief. Employees will find the author’s management style emphasizes the implementation of optimum operationalization which, of course, leads to ultimate productivity and fiscal liquidity! Promotion of an effective working environment, based on the latest principles of Total Quality Management, will help launch the Big Chief name to the top of our industrial milieu.

As part of the new TQM strategy, a new, more open worker-manager communication strategy has been implemented, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. Issues or suggestions may now be brought to the management’s attention via two avenues: a cork-product bulletin board in the break room and direct, interactive appointment. Suggestions may be anonymously posted in the break room as the board will be used as an interactive, division-wide interchange, with employees and the manager being offered the chance to interface in a public forum. The procedures for using the appointed board are as follows: Obtain an anonymous suggestions form from the author’s secretary. Scribe the date and subject of the suggestion in the top lines provided on the form. Then legibly print the issue at hand within the parameters of the space thus provided. Commentary which is illegible will be disregarded.

Employees who wish to discuss an issue with management directly may also do so via person-to-person appointment. Fifteen minute appointments will be available for assignment each Friday during the production worker lunch hour (12:00-1:00). These should be taken advantage of if any private dilemmas are of concern. Participants should COME PREPARED.